TOP OF THE MORNIN' TO YOU LADDIES! My name is Jacksepticeye, and welcome back to house flipper. I played a little bit of this before, but it was like a demo version at the game it was in. I think it was an early access... beta? Anyway, it was just a demo version of the Cape. This is the full version of the game, the developer sent me a code for it. So thank you developers, and I'm excited about it because it's so- it seems like it has some new stuff in it. I don't know if they'll have I needs a new stuff in the starting area of the game or like the first couple of things, But I have seen like sledgehammers knocking down walls and everything, which I am all about. I had to do that one time it was super fun, It was my granny's old house. And that house was old, I was like knocking down Jesus's house. Oh God this is where I start off Look at this lovely neighborhood! Oh Wait, I don't- Stay! I don't know what I'm doing. This lovely neighborhood, Wow! The houses are so nice. This is an expensive American! Bill and Jane they were over there, that's a nice house. I'm living inside someone's ass! This is- *laughs* Can I just sleep on the street? 'Clean not yet available'. I don't think clean will ever be available for this place I don't know where I'm disposing it. I'm- I think I'm just eating it. I'm devouring the trash like the trash that I am. Open. OH... No. There's just a chainsaw like in the middle of the place! Oh... Luckily for me I am... *Whispers* 'Oh god'. I am the world's speediest cleaner! I love how this is the place I'm living in, You know, a rectal cavity, and it says that my account balance is THIRTY THOUSAND DOLLARS! Pretty sure, I could probably rent one of those houses for that price. It's okay, I just gotta clean my shitty ASS. 'You've got mail' Sarah Louis: "Ex-boyfriend stole the radiator from my house!" I'm glad you said ex-boyfriend, cause I would never be with someone who steals the radiator from my house. Hello? "I'd like to hire your company to put my house in order." "I know from photos posted on 'FaceBam'," "That my ex-boyfriend broke into my house, made a huge mess and stole the radiator. It is possible that something else is missing." Yeah, maybe your judgment in men? "Please make order- Please, make order in the house and replace the missing devices." "I would ask you not to inform the police, about the whole matter" "I will settle it myself with my ex-boyfriend after returning from a business trip" I hope your business trip is finding a new man in your life. All right, accept! I'm going to turn this lady's house Upside down! Not really because that would suck. Alright, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm gonna dispose of all your garbage first! Sorry if that's your family... I too am garbage person. Was-? What-? did a murder take place in here? I don't know if I should be here, I'd be held accountable for any of this... 'Hold and switch to clean'. No, I gotta dispose first. There's boxes of shit everywhere. Are you pretending that your boyfriend did this? "Oh yeah, I'm out in a business trip!" MY BOYFRIEND- my ex-boyfriend just broke in and stole the... Radiator! "And he made a mess! Instead of the fact that like, I had a house party and I'm actually in rehab for my alcoholism..." 'Cause I'd believe that. I'm not going to judge, I'm not a judgy person, you know? S-Safe houses and all that, but... This place is a dump, and I should know I just came from one! Oh, if only. Oh, if only this is how it worked: You can just take out one brush and you just stuck it to things. "Hello, Thank you, you're clean now!" Aha! This is what it's like to clean in Harry Potter. "For now, you have a tablet at your disposal! press tab for the tablet." *Points at his thinking noodle* Someone's using their thinkin' noodle for that. "To show or hide it it will allow you to buy things which can be useful in this job." Can I buy some meth to forget about doing this job? Oh, I get skills! Some would say to paid Bills, um. I don't know who Bill is though, and I don't- I don't even know one Bill, let alone plural! Um... "See some dirt in mini-maps, see most dirt in mini-maps, see all dirt in mini-maps." Ah, so I can clean faster, long range." That's what I like in a mop! Long range! "See some dirt in the mini-map." I think 25% faster cleaning will work better now. Look at me go! I'm a cleaning Wizard! Take that Ron and Hermoine! Taunting and flaunting your love in front of me... Well now I am the magic one! Do we actually have to like fix your table and everything? Come on, man! This is not what I signed up for! I'm a cleaner, not a fixer-doo. Erm Okay, and boom! Is this counting towards my progress? it better be. I don't think it is! Okay, your house is Complet-o! Oh yeah, I have to put in your radiator. I forgot that your... "BOYFRIEND"... "STOLE"... the "RADIATOR"! "Yeah, my mom kicked me out of the house and now I live alone." yeah sure Wasn't the fact that I blew all my money on cocaine or anything!" No. Where would it be? Installations! There we go. Radiator! 'Buy now' "Assemble!" *Gasps* Like the Avengers! *Plonk plink plonk*. I'm a fucking natural! Tell me any spills you have! Any-Any troubles you have in your life. Whether it be radiatorial or whether it be... Marriage issues, anything at all! Jack's here to help. I got the business, I got the power. You got the power. I think I did it. I'm hundred percent done complete the order bing bang Bosh You've done a hundred percent order. You may now complete the order for 785 Book of Ruth Nice pictures make rooms deeper more artistic Yeah, and opinions like that make me not talk to you anymore, so I'm just gonna swipe left ah Rectum sweet rectum. Okay. Can I actually like clean my own house now? Wait, you're telling me that's not dirt on the door. That's just my door. Oh My life is even worse than I thought it was. Okay. Let's clean up this place Ah Clean home is a happy home My I'm so glad I bought this wonder mop off an infomercial 2295 and I got a second one for the half the price Now I'm having a very hard time figuring out which is dirt and which is just my shit house Just like some people's personalities that shit. Don't rub off you buy radiator amounted here, but No, I can't you're not letting me look as the frickin bed. Isn't the way oh My god, I'm the strongest man alive. Okay, let's buy the radiator. Here we go assembly Was the point half knows all this money and working for somebody else if my house isn't good My house comes first because my house is clean I am in a clean bill of mental health and then everything else after that is goody two-shoes let me just that pick up my chainsaw here real quick and Can I leave it outside Do I have to leave my chainsaw indoors They're Right above the bed. We're all chainsaws should be take that robbers behavior comes in. They're gonna be like, dude What if he has a weapon it's like I'm sure people in this neighborhood. Don't carry guns. It's a nice one What if he has a knife and then you just kick in the door I hear *imitates chainsaw engine* Oh That's a a horror movie I love it. All right, let's see what else is going on since I hate living in my own house Cleaning the garage radiators. Oh, I want to clean the garage. Hello. We need to clean the carriage Please throw away all the boxes trash and old tires, please don't forget to clean the window It's better not to move the tools My husband doesn't like it when someone moves them and he can't find them afterwards regards Caroline Smith Okay, she did put in to please so I'm gonna say yes. I was going to say a please would be nice but My literary skills are not the best battered walls. It's not for me Did he just say that wow, I'm free. I'm free No No, I can either return to hell or just stay here Stay here. Please *loudest & slowest garage door opens* Sorry, I'm sleeping with my eyes open. Oh, okay. Let's clean this bad boy live all these scuff marks How did you enter this garage? Did you just swerve in skrt skrt Eschete it's a new thing, right? You're saying throw away all the boxes how Oh, With the magic of mind power This is amazing Oh, could I please have this ability in real life? It reminds me a lot of viscera cleanup detail Something almost therapeutic about this game where you just sit down and clean It's clean and realize it sucks. Because you can't just click on a box and then it's gone You have to cut it off put it out for a cycling hot shit It's just so much nicer if I'm able to just stick a brush to stuff and things disappear You imagine how nice & clean my house would be. Oh, yeah, I've seen a window What Oh, I have one of these actually in real life They're fantastic Because they're they're squeezy and on the top of them. They got this one. There's got a brush on it You got a brush on one side and here scrub scrub scrub scrub scrub And then you can just press a button then it vacuums all the water off it it's so nice It doesn't come out this clean though, seriously, can I just have the tools that you have in this game? This is nuts so. We should know a thing or two about nuts, I am one oh Look at that clean window. Okay, 97% clean dirt. Oh don't do this to me 90 where's a 3% dirt, huh? There it is the clean No, I am the clean machine I'm done. I didn't even have to organize anything. Well, you did say not to touch you too Are you saying not to touch your tools because your husband is a murderer Huh turkey baster Hatchet covered in blood I may have to tell you something about that. He should be your ex-husband Who available skill points? Do I have more stuff? See some dirt in the mini-map. I don't think I need that yet. I think faster cleaning is better Because all the maps that I'm doing so far in the beginning are all just really easy stuff. Oh I'm rich! The walls in the house should be dark. Why? Walls can be whatever the fuck they want to be. Have you noticed that by using the gallery tab in the tablet? You can choose the image in your hard Have you noticed I don't care? It's just the way I feel tonight, can I redo my house This place is a shit-hole. Our dump! In the middle of our dump, our dump. Hello. My beautiful wife is pregnant with our first child Calm down man. She's not here. She can't see you We have also just bought a new 3-bedroom home which requires some repairs and decorating We have no spare time to clean and renovate the house. So we need your help. No problem. Jackie boy Oh, man, the handyman is here Can you please clean the house and set up a nursery complete with crib? Changing table and maybe some toys. We know we will have a girl. So can you please paint the room light pink? Thank you So much Matt Maro. Oh Okay, I can totally do that. But the last guy told me that the walls must be dark like his soul He probably wanted it dark like Lincoln Park. That's what I always say. Congratulations You've unlocked a new tool! From now on you'll be able to paint the walls with a brush. Thank God I was just going to start finger painting. Oh man You have a baby on the way How could you ever think that this was a clean household for a baby? This baby needs to stay in the hospital if this is the house it's coming back to you, but don't worry I'm gonna make this room as sterile as a Man who can't have children? It's pretty sterile really beginning to think that these people are just making up excuses for why their houses are filthy. Oh We got a baby on the way Yeah, but we all saw through my cousin's Bar Mitzvah in the kitchen This place is a skip. What is this? This is tea bag Oh Oh No, I was more curious about this thing, I think it is part of the rubbish from out here Okay, it's gone. Thank God Just get rid of half their house because I don't like their upholstery like this couch. I just thought it was garbage You know, it looks like it Thank you. Wonder mop you have changed my life People buy the wonder mop now to make your life so much easier. All right, they wanted a pastel pink? Paint the colours Pastel pink. Okay pastel, there it is! Pastel pink, buy now! *bwoop* And I need a paint brush Where Oh brush Do I just? When I buy it I just get the paintbrush wow, that makes sense. Oh, I forgot how tedious this was That good? Is that done oh, yes This seems to have gotten a little bit better at least you got a load up the roller Painting the walls and cleaning the windows in this game are so tedious Because you have to paint all the way up here as well I'll be here for a while. Let's put on a pot of coffee little painting 63% done good. Is it done 95% What else needs to be done the place is all pink you hiding something behind you? What?!? Ohh What your height and secret locations on me? That's annoying! Ninety-eight Hundred percent okay, I mean It's exactly the same to me. No, I don't it clean the cupboard her back There you go, all right all you have to place a crib I also need to sell this Cool I should just sell everybody's house House for us in the child. That's the name of the order. That's lovely Let me search for a crib Boom color light blue white or light brown I'ma get it in white. I really wanted to get it in a pink, you know to go with your whole aesthetic that's going on I'll just kind of like that place object bookcase Bookcase Bookcase Carl is what it said. So We get it not color. Oh, yeah, I thought white was not colored if you get me Wait, why can't I put it what? Oh Oh, uh, this is hideous Wait, would you want this thing? Well your fucking house, okay I'm just placing it in you can move it around all you want. There's three more things. Please object cabinet with changing table Um, you better be paying good with this Cabinet with changing table color pink Yay, that is aesthetically pleasing It's just by all these things and place them in and then I can move them around Place object poof. Oh No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no wrong button. I don't know what this is Oh Oh a poof! I Get it now. That makes sense my place is here so that you can Do what you need with your kid whenever you need to and I need another poof Perfect, okay and this one can go right here! It's 96% clean Where's the rest of the dirt this place is immaculate Don't do this to me don't do this to me do I have to just air it out? Oh wait. Oh Wait, can you open No maybe there's dirt on the back of this or something No This place is friggin spotless Here's got some crazy high standards. Where is it? Where is the four percent? Alright, I didn't know where the dirt is left in your shitty ass house Apparently this place is 96% clean there's another four percent somewhere in here and it's becoming one of those things where the dirt like the last piece of dirt in here was on this and There was another piece up here somewhere and it wasn't even obvious what it was So, I don't know why I clean the window I could get more money for that I did the job that I was supposed to do I did this job This one is done so I can actually leave and complete the order I'm going to wait until I have them a few more upgrades where I can show dirt on the minimap and then I don't know Where it is, and I kinda know where I'm going right now. I have no idea. So it's just tedious. Ah, Dump sweet dump honey. I'm trash. Okay. Well, I'm gonna need this episode of house flipper here super fun game surprisingly Just based on what it is like going in cleaning up a house putting all the stuff in the right place or something It's like if you remember Cleaned at home. There's something very therapeutic about it. There's something so super satisfying let's say you spill a bunch of sand on the ground and then you take a Vacuum or a Hoover and you go over that and you just wash that super clean line come out right behind you It's like power washing If you've like a big stained wall You just get a power washer and you take a big stroke down the middle and just to see that super clean line There's something incredibly satisfying about it. We're going to read it and you go to a power washing porn or to oddly satisfying They have a lot of stuff like that and it's just I don't know there must be a name for that There must be a term for seeing that just seeing the satisfaction in getting That clean line is something and that's kind of what this game is You see a bunch of dirt everywhere. And then you see the room super clean afterwards Really satisfying to see that's what this game is bloody, right? Thank you guys so much for watching this episode! If you liked it, punch that like button in the face! LIKE A BOSS! AND HIGH FIVES ALL AROUND *wpshh *wpshh THANK YOU & I'LL SEE YOU DUDES IN THE NEXT VIDEO! I should have said you should clean that like button in the house something like that
