How to Use Shit-Tests (That You Give) to Flip the Script

a lot of guys what they'll do is they'll give a [ __ ] test back to a girl giving a [ __ ] test right so you get this like escalation of [ __ ] test where um the girl is like well you know who are who do you think you are and the guy's like well what makes you think you're special enough to ask me that question and the girl's like uh you walked over to me and then the guy's like uh yeah you're right i did and it looks really lame hey guys what's up welcome back for episode 14 of the todd v show this is a bit of a special episode it'll be probably a little shorter because we're just doing one question but i think it's an excellent question i think it's important one because it's an area that i see many guys probably most guys lacking in their game so we're gonna get into that in just a second but before we do i do have a special announcement if you followed me for any period of time you know i don't do discounts on my programs but it is coming up on thanksgiving which means it's coming up on black friday and being kind of an unusual year figure i'll help you guys end it kind of on the right note so we're gonna do unusual black friday special we're actually doing on the system and on value master classes for my two kind of main digital programs that i do two main things two main ways you can get coaching for me on the internet readily available um we're doing 50 off on both of those again i never discount them and it's just for a few days so that said let's get into the question uh this is from eddie and he says in the system you talk about giving girls [ __ ] tests what are the best ways to [ __ ] test a girl so thank you eddie for that question i think it is an important one because in all of the guys that i've seen do a game i'd say upwards of 90 percent of guys are on the receiving end of [ __ ] tests almost always and are not on the giving end very often and then the few that are on the giving end are oftentimes doing it wrong so this is a very unique skill in terms of it's not being used often but it's not a difficult skill it's not a hard thing to do it's just something that isn't done and for that reason it's something that can set you apart massively very very quickly it can give you a lot of value and and make you very you know special in relation to other guys uh very very easily so let's talk about [ __ ] tests in order to know how to give a [ __ ] test to a girl the first thing you need to know is what is a [ __ ] test actually okay what is a [ __ ] test and i want to start off with what a [ __ ] test is not so a [ __ ] test is not an insult it's very very important your ugly is not a [ __ ] test at least maybe it's under some very extraordinary circumstances when like there's a wink and you know she you've already told the girl she's pretty other times or something like that maybe but um in general you're ugly as an insult not a [ __ ] test you're a terrible human being and have no moral value you know whatever anything like that a flat out insult is not a [ __ ] test on any level okay a [ __ ] test is um it's more subtle than that so um there's i've talked in and i think in the previous podcast i talked about uh denotation versus connotation which is denotation is the literal meaning of the word what it it means in by the dictionary by the book and then connotation is how it's taken culturally or how it's taken in context what it means aside from the literal meaning so ideally a [ __ ] test is where you're giving a girl a hard time more on the connotation than on the denotation right so um i'll give you an example of some kind of some some statements or some phrases that have a little like hint of a [ __ ] test in them so you can kind of get it get a an idea and oftentimes a [ __ ] test will be phrased as though it's a compliment or as though it's as though it's neutral but it'll have just a little bit of sting in the tail so um i knew a guy who had pretty good game back in the day and his opener or his style of opener um which was a kind of a [ __ ] test on the opener a bit of a tease on the opener um he would comment on something the girl was wearing something in her fashion but hey i like that sweater i love that you're trying to bring the 80s back right and so he's kind of commenting that um the sweater is not exactly fashionable to the decade it's not exactly up to up to the moment and the effect this is going to have oftentimes is to make the girl a little insecure even though you're saying literally i like that sweater that's a cool sweater um but the way you're saying it is you know that it's because it's reminding me of the 80s or because it's retro and if that wasn't the girl's intention if she was trying to be modern and fashionable and she reminded you of the 80s then that's something that could could be a [ __ ] test okay um now that's that's not technically as direct of a [ __ ] test in the sense of you're you're actively giving a girl [ __ ] that's you could call that more of a tease or more of almost an egg or something like that but it has that nature where it's not a direct insult and that's the key thing i want to get across to you in [ __ ] tests if you take for example some of the [ __ ] tests that girls give to guys they're not flat out saying the insult they're just implying the insults so if a girl gives a [ __ ] test like do you say that's all the girls right if the girl had said do you say that to all the girls because if you do that would be lame and weird and creepy that would be an insult but when she says do you say that to all the girls she's not saying that it's bad it's implied by her tone or it's implied by the context or implied by the social meaning around a guy that would say the same thing to every girl and how that might be interpreted societally but she's not flat out saying it and it's the same thing when you give a girl a challenge right so if you do um you know question a girl on you know whether she has a particular credential or not or um or something like that like did you you know you did it wait you went to college right something like that just a little thing like that that's a very minor [ __ ] test um but you're not saying you didn't go to college you idiot you're saying you went to college right you're putting them on the spot you're questioning them and whether or not they went to college this is very important it's not like you're attacking them if they didn't or praising them if they did whether or not they did go to college they're going to feel probably an instinct probably an urge to qualify themselves to you if they didn't go to college they may feel an urge to explain to you why they didn't that like it's not because they weren't smart and they were doing something else job-wise or this and that and the other or because they had to like you know help their family through xyz situation etc so they may they may feel the need to give an explanation or excuse i.e qualify themselves to if they did go to college they may make a point of saying yeah of course i went to college and this and this and this and they may even go further and try and tell you that they went to a good college or they did really well and got good grades which again they're qualifying themselves to okay so what is a [ __ ] test fundamentally one it's not an insult two though it's a statement that puts the girl on the spot and encourages her to potentially qualify herself okay that's a very very important thing one other thing a [ __ ] test can be and this kind of gets to the stereotypical most kind of like like pristine like like like classic [ __ ] testing game though the ones you you've heard a million times and and you love them because they work every time even though you've heard them a million times um what these will be on top of being a subtle thing that's going to maybe make the girl qualify is they will actually be a frame control statement or a frame control adjustment so something along the lines of um you and i would not get along has a little bit it has it will obviously put the girl on the spot and make her want to qualify why wouldn't we get along i get along with everybody et cetera et cetera so it has that nature to it but it also has the nature um that because you've said to her that you and she wouldn't get along you're kind of adopting a position of being the higher status person because typically the higher status person is deciding whether you're going to get along the lower status person is just crossing their fingers and hoping you get along so they can have a new high value friend so um by taking that position by putting yourself at a more high status position within the hierarchy of the conversation you're actually asserting some level of frame control as well and and i've kind of given a few different definitions of [ __ ] tests here and the reason is that there are a lot of things that are some are like precisely exactly [ __ ] tests some are kind of [ __ ] tests and some kind of serve the purpose of [ __ ] tests okay so what is again the purpose of [ __ ] test the purpose of [ __ ] test is to kind of keep the girl on her toes right potentially kind of either get the girl to want to open up and talk to explain thing or ideally to qualify to you and it's even better like in an ideal sense if it's also asserting a frame and asserting a frame hopefully that's a useful frame to you a frame that puts you in a high value position a frame that if true would lead to a better interaction lead to sex lead to other good frames and events in the future so that's what an ideal [ __ ] test is so if you do want to give these [ __ ] tests what should you do um probably the first and and most overarching thing you can do is have a good frame you want to understand the good frames in game frames like that you are an attractive person right and that girls typically like you um frames like that you are you know busy and have a cool life and that if a girl were to date you or be part of that life it would be improving her life frames like that maybe you're interested enough in a girl to talk to her and get to know her but you're not completely won over super easily you're not that easily impressed because um you know ideally because of the reason what you're implying is that um that you've met other girls you have other options you've done well with girls in the past and so you're not overly impressed without the girl actually doing something impressive so that's another good frame the reason i say it's good to start with frame is because many of the best [ __ ] tests um come from that frame and many of the best [ __ ] tests don't even have to be overt precise [ __ ] tests as in i'm giving this one specific [ __ ] test at this this moment just adopting that frame is sort of like a big [ __ ] test to the girl right it's it's a big sort of um opportunity for her to qualify herself a big opportunity for her to try and impress you a big opportunity for her to try and win you over etc so um having the right frame is probably the absolute best start and the second thing that's going to be very helpful in tests because they're not insults and the other thing is i haven't mentioned this but they shouldn't be reactive right so for example a lot of guys what they'll do is they'll give a [ __ ] test back to a girl giving a [ __ ] test right so you get this like escalation of [ __ ] test where um the girl is like well you know who are who do you think you are and the guy's like well what makes you think you're special enough to ask me that question and the girl's like uh you walked over to me and then the guy's like uh yeah you're right i did and it looks really lame um or worse yet it just keeps escalating and escalating it's like i hate you no i hate you more no i hate you well my parents hate your parents and my grandparents say in my did it and it just it's no good okay um so this reactivity if it comes off that you're doing it defensively are you doing in a reaction to something she said that's not gonna be very effective so those are two things that should [ __ ] test shouldn't be one insulting shouldn't be that and two should not be defensive um so the second thing that you can do to do [ __ ] tests in the right way and have good [ __ ] tests is to come from a place of good humor to come from a place of enjoying the conversation and also kind of being amused by the girl right and also non-negative and non-um not like not insulting towards the girl with your your frame or your outlook as well the way i like to look at it is um imagine if um imagine there's a few different frames you can use and i'll give you a few um one is imagine if this girl is someone who you just know has had a crush on you for a super super long time and so while you may even like them and while you may even be interested in them as well um you are not at all worried about how they're perceiving you because you know you like you're certain that they like you and it's it's not really a question and so if they do say something negative they do something say something that could be trouble or whatever you just don't take them that seriously you're not mean to them you don't dislike them you're not trying to like destroy their self-esteem anything like that you just don't take them that seriously um another frame that's similar to this or another that might make even more sense to you is um oftentimes take the frame of imagine if you had like um kind of an annoying little niece right so you know your niece hopefully is someone you you care about she's a family member hopefully she's a good person who's you know you want good things for her a lot more than bad things for her um so you have positive intentions towards her but that said you just don't take her that seriously because she's just a little kid right and and if you treat the girl in the same way as in like oh you're sweet you're nice i want good things for you i don't want anything bad for you i wouldn't want to insult you but like look i'm the grown-up here you're kind of you know you're the silly little kid in this interaction um and if you if you take that frame you're gonna come from a place of being good humor you're not not gonna be particularly reactive and you're also gonna be very open to to teasing a girl right a lot of guys can tease girls when they don't care about the outcome a lot of guys have this phenomenon of um you know when they're not that into the girl when the girls what they'd consider to be a six or a seven they're suddenly super charismatic and super witty and they can tease them and all this kind of stuff and they start talking to a girl they consider a nine or a ten and all of a sudden they get like you know they're like a deer in the headlights like oh i better not mess it up and ironically if they could just talk to that nine or ten the way they talk to the six or seven it would solve most of the problems they're having with gaming at nine or ten there are obviously some value issues and there are some value adjustments and blueprint adjustments and stuff like that so a lot of the stuff by the way that i talked about in in value masterclass for example um all those those those higher tier adjustments on top of having the right frame and stuff like that but for the most part if you had the right frame you'd be you know a decent percentage 70 80 percent of the way there and that's the majority of it it's coming from this frame that you don't take them super seriously okay so now what do you have you have a good frame and a good outlook right you have a frame that you're high value in in whatever way or that the girl would be lucky to be with you or her life would be enhanced by being with you that's a start second thing is you're in good humor you're finding amusements in the conversation in general and you're not overly concerned with perception or outcome that's we're going to be coming from from there probably naturally you're going to do a lot of things that are maybe subtle [ __ ] tests or not even like not even [ __ ] tests but you're again if i mentioned having a frame can already be a [ __ ] test or having that attitude is already an implied [ __ ] test in some way and you may not even need a lot of [ __ ] tests if you're coming from those places but if you want to go one step further and especially on maybe a cold approach situation or when you've just met a girl and she doesn't know that much about you and you want to set yourself apart quickly you may need to go one step further which is to instigate just a little bit to do something that's polarizing and potentially can get a reaction i'll give you an example of this that isn't directly a [ __ ] test but it relates to the concept and so one thing i like to do a lot of times um with with very very hot girls even before i've necessarily shown much premise or even before i've given something like an overt [ __ ] test what i like to do actually is use a little bit of inappropriate or impolite language just in their presence or to them ahead of times because with really hot girls oftentimes they are so used to guys walking on eggshells that even a guy swearing in front of them or being impolite in front of them is enough to like be outside of their normal reality or be an a non-normal event for them um so i'll give you an example you may notice i'm wearing black right now a lot of times when i go out i also wear black which you may have noticed from from some of my infields and whatnot the funny thing with that and i wear t-shirts a lot too so funny thing with that is a lot of times in bars the staff at the bar will wear black t-shirts it's a pretty common sort of general generic bar attire that will be worn so a lot of times girls will mistake me as being part of the bar staff and this this is even enhanced by the fact that a lot of times i'm coaching a student so i'm kind of like he's in set i'm watching and it looks like i'm kind of just standing around the bar doing nothing but maybe i'm checking my phone sometimes or maybe i'm just like leaning against the pole trying to not be you know in the way and not draw a lot of attention to myself while i watch my student game while i give you know get close so i can critique him and stuff like that so a lot of times what will happen with all this is that the girl will see me and she'll think i work at the bar and she'll ask me a type of question that someone might ask someone who works at the bar like where's the bathroom or do you have this kind of drink here or something like that right and most guys response to this from a hot girl would be like oh no i'm sorry i don't work here but like i can check for you or i know i think the bathroom is over there and just either something literal or something highly qualifying or something nervous or reactive or whatever what i like to do and it's different words every time just depends on the moment but a lot of times i like to do something along the lines of what why the [ __ ] are you asking me do i what the [ __ ] right something like that um and then and then she'll be like wait wait wait i'll be like i'm speaking with you i'm hi nice to meet you i'm hot etc um but the fact that i you know or sometimes like wait do i look like i work here jesus woman get a get a clue right um and then obviously that's a little over the top it's a little bit like harsh and so you can back down you can be like i'm i'm just kidding whatever especially if she like looks offended or if she seems surprised sometimes i'll even get apologetic which is really funny i'm kidding you don't have to apologize um and that's great when that happens but the fact of the matter is the that i did say something in polite that i did take a social risk right away um in a way that seems kind of um unscripted and seems spur at the moment because it was in response to her question it conveys a lot of things about me it conveys um one that i'm not overly emotionally affected by her in particular but two it conveys that i'm willing to be polarizing life in general it conveys that i'm god i've gotten through life without being polite and so it's something that's gonna immediately boost my value um even before we've really had much of an interaction and it's gonna make anything else i say come off as more um honest and legitimate because that that first sentence that first unconscious sentence out of my mouth when i wasn't trying when it just came spur at the moment because that was so non-reactive and it clearly i didn't give a [ __ ] what she thought about me then it's gonna be assumed that i don't give a [ __ ] what she thinks about me throughout the duration of the interaction um and so just swearing a little bit is instigating a bit um and it also shows that that willingness to to to offend if necessary not that you're okay here's a very important thing about offending okay you do not want to try to offend a girl please please please do not go try and offend girls you'll succeed and you also fail miserably again by doing it okay do not try to offend girls however do not try not to offend girls either okay so don't go out of your way or adjust your behavior to be inoffensive but also please do not adjust your favor your behavior sorry to be offensive that's a terrible idea that comes off as insulting reactive all these things that we said a [ __ ] test shouldn't be okay so um true in general in game but also especially true in giving girl [ __ ] um now the one of the best types of [ __ ] tests which are going to come around to which has all of these different elements to it and one of my absolute favorites is what i call disqualifier all right and a disqualifier um it can be either a pure disqualifier it can be a push pull they're relatively similar but a disqualifier is any indication that it might not work out between you and the girl or any indication that sex won't happen or any indication that potentially you're not interested again the hotter the girl the better this is gonna work because hotter girls are not accustomed to having guys disqualify them they're used to having guys you know kiss their ass and try and get their attention all the time but it's going to work across the board with just about every girl um and you can do this in again harsher and less harsh ways um so for example like yeah you just blew it girl that's um pretty that's a that's a very kind of a harsh disqualifier right a less harsh won't be like easy if you keep that up i might stop liking you so much right which is actually it has a little disqualifier but it's actually mostly complementary mostly positive because you're indicating that you did like them a lot either one is indicating that they did something that turned you off in some way but one is indicating it's super like it's much more serious and it does it's not counter balanced by a positive the other one is counterbalanced by a positive and it's much more playful but either one just the fact that you're willing to give a disqualifier it works pretty well the other thing you should do and so one one really good form of [ __ ] test is disqualifiers anything you can do that says not you're a bad person not anything insulting like that but just we might not get along notice the difference between you're a bad person and you and i might not get along right there are plenty of wonderful people in the world who i might not get along with but calling them a bad person would be insulting saying we might not get along it's just you know it's just saying not everybody's compatible with everybody it's not a big deal it's very very important that distinction not insulting just teasing um and then the other thing that that i really do recommend as a format for um for for [ __ ] testing is anytime a girl does something unusual or embarrassing or that is um that just really draws attention you can give them you can tease them about it you can give them a little bit of a hard time about it and again this can be in a whole spectrum of levels it can be very lightly clearly kidding where it's just like tongue and cheek and it's just almost more friendly than anything but at least you're being playful at least you're willing to give them a little bit of a hard time all the way to flat out like where they get that little feeling in the pit of their stomach like they really just lost you so there's a whole gradient there but the whole point is when a girl does something silly or unusual give her a little bit of [ __ ] about it and this can be something as simple as like miss speaking right so if the girl says um i literally just um i literally just did something that that's not literal so it's funny that i can't think of an example for that um but you know how people misuse the word literally um if you say that i'd be like wow i'm glad you didn't figure it to figuratively do it because that would be weird right that's a very minor kind of a tease it's just taking taking a word where they misspoke it's not highly personal anything like that but it's just some little thing they did say a girl like drops something or or um spills something or whatever um you could tease them about being klutzy which again is not super personal this is a one-time one-off event being klutzy does not reflect on your character nobody goes to hell for being klutzy right so um the point is um there's lots of these opportunities and most guys just miss them most guys don't do anything with them and again you should be calibrated you should be in some cases saying it very playfully in some cases saying a lot harsher and in some cases not even saying it right you don't have to take every single opportunity that comes your way but you need to be taking some and most guys take almost none right so a funny little exercise or a fun little exercise i do with with students um whenever they record infield video or infield audio for me um which you know a lot of students do that for me when do when you do consultations and whatnot is um sometimes they're too platonic they're having trouble making manner women or they're having trouble giving [ __ ] tests so they end up with this very boring dry conversation and what i will do is i will stop the tape after almost every single thing the girl says and i'll stop and i'll give an example or sometimes oftentimes two or three different examples of something you could say to tease the girl off what she just said point being that almost after almost every single thing the girl says if you're in the mindset of trying to tease there is a tease available if not multiple t's is potentially available so they're always available and i always caution my students don't actually literally tease them after every sentence they say but just be aware that there is an available tease there is an opportunity to tease them after every single one so there's absolutely no scarcity and if you just like train yourself to recognize it then instead of saying it every single time you can sit back and wait for the really good ones and then just throw in a few good jabs here and there but it's very important that it not be zero it's very very important that there'd be some teasing there'd be some flirting there'd be some giving the girl [ __ ] during the interaction okay so again to recap one [ __ ] tests are important right if you're not giving a girl [ __ ] you're going to be very very boring two you have an opportunity to give a girl [ __ ] after just about every sentence now how do you go about giving good [ __ ] tests well first thing is it comes from your frame it comes from your kind of how you are positioning yourself in the interaction and oftentimes the frame itself and just carrying yourself a certain way and interacting in that way can be an inherent [ __ ] test the next is it comes from the vibe and the attitude right it comes from not taking her too seriously being lighthearted having fun having a playful notion about the interaction rather than being super serious and super reactive and and looking for reactions and that kind of stuff and then the final bit is to be a bit instigating but i'll come full circle and say again as final the first thing i said which is that [ __ ] tests are not insults so while you do want to instigate you do not want to insult a good standard is this if a girl ever called you out on a [ __ ] test and said that was mean you should be able to plausibly say no actually it was a compliment because this or actually no i thought it was really nice because this there should be a plausible way because it is framed as while there is that bar but that little sting in the tail um it is more positive than negative and you at least have that that out you should always have that out of being socially correct when giving a [ __ ] test and that is the big difference between a [ __ ] test and insult on a fundamental level um so hopefully that gives you a good understanding of what [ __ ] tests are uh how to come up with [ __ ] tests um where [ __ ] tests come from not only in terms of the actual words but in terms of the frame and the context of the interaction as well as you know different types of [ __ ] tests i.e disqualifiers push pulls etc so um i think there's a quite a long answer to that question and i think hopefully a good one that should help you guys out a lot but the biggest takeaway is play with this do more [ __ ] tests almost every guy does too few and not don't think of a [ __ ] test think of it as teasing a girl giving her a hard time um because a lot of [ __ ] tests don't have to be some exact scripted [ __ ] test as i've mentioned all right um so with that said we're going to wrap the question but i do want to remind you once again that um we do have that 50 off sale on the system and on value master class it's just for black friday and a few days after so get it soon it's not going to last long and we don't do discounts often again the websites for that are assistantbytod.com and toddvmasterclass.com go check those out hopefully i'll see you inside those programs and hopefully i will see you on the next episode thanks again for tuning in oh and by the way one last thing you can submit your questions at questions at toddvdating.com forget to say forgot to say that during this episode but it is important because i do use your questions so check out those programs check out the next podcast and send in your questions take care until next time [Music] you

Channel: AskToddV

Views: 124,503

Keywords: conversation, frame, shit tests, shit-tests, shittests, shit test, shit-test, shittest, girls, women, attraction, dating, promotion, black friday, flirt, flirting, tease, teasing

Id: iK912W7Ax4I

Length: 26min 3sec (1563 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 27 2020