The Art of Game Manifesto

alright alright ok got singles yeah it's good to be back it's good to be back I usually hear that from girls night guys but you know I'll take it away alright um so what I want to talk to you guys about today is some really important [ __ ] basically um I'm gonna give you guys I'm gonna lay out for you guys step by step what I do and how I think in-game right what a process is how I think about an interaction how I think about what I'm doing with a girl where I'm at all those kind of things and basically is going to be three sections to this first section is the 3 factors that absolutely must be in place for you to get laid no matter what your strategy if it's cold approach but social circle if it's online game these are the three things you have to have period alright so we go through that next thing we're gonna go through the models of attraction and models of cold approached game as I learned them so for those of you who haven't been in the game since you know 2000 like I have I'm gonna go through all of the history everything that's been shown to work since then till now and show how it all kind of comes together what all the good elements that have been lost work and then finally we'll talk about implementation one of the biggest things I hear when I talk to people about like structuring their game or having a game plan is how do I actually do it how do I actually use it and especially how do I do it without like getting in my head or how do I do it without like not being fluid whatever all right so it's gonna be those three different sections there's gonna be a lot of information for those of you who have you know papers to take notes by all means do it for those who have phones by all means I don't mind take notes learn etc I don't want a lot of questions because we have a lot of material however I will break for questions at two distinct times to have three sections between each section I'll take questions so if you have a burning question you absolutely have to answer it have to have answered feel free to ask it during that section but I don't want like ten hands in the air every five seconds because really gonna just mess up the flow and we'll be here all night because there's seriously a ton of material I'm gonna drop decades of material on you guys okay does it make sense all right you guys excited um just to kind of couch all this I want to kind of ask you guys a couple questions first question is how many people sometimes you're talking with a girl and you don't know what to do next that ever happen yeah ever like constantly okay good alright or does it sometimes happen that you kind of know what to do next but you're not sure how to do it right you're like I'm at point a I gotta get to point Z and what the [ __ ] all right that's what this is about that's what today is about the goal at the end of today is that you will always have a game plan all right you will always know where you're at where you need to go and you'll have a game plan or maybe six game plans to get you there all right so I don't want you guys to be at a loss ever again so that's the idea um so without further ado let's talk about this what gets guys late what are the three factors that absolutely must be in place to get guys late and I think you guys will agree with me as I show you them first one access you have to have access to girls to get laid it's hard to get laid when you're far apart from girls it's a physical and it's a physical act right so access right you need to find girls and that can be done a lot of ways can be done you know cold approach you'd be done social circle online whatever but you got to find girls somewhere secondly attraction right an attraction can be phrased different ways value intrigue interest whatever but you have to have some sort of like a decision on the girls part that she likes you chooses you that you're special in some way she has some sort you have some sort of emotional relevance to her okay so that's that's attraction and then finally we have a follow through okay and follow through it it's a bit of a catch-all but basically it means once the girl likes you not [ __ ] it up right getting her from she likes you in a public place - she likes you in a private place where sex will happen and that includes things like logistics it includes things like not making her look [ __ ] and feel [ __ ] it includes things like making her feel comfortable and making her trust you all these other things that are parts of developing the relationship alright so no matter what way you meet a girl you're probably gonna need these three things you're not gonna sleep with a girl you don't have access to and I guess sleep with a girl who has no attraction or no desire whatsoever for you unless you're paying for it and you're I gotta sleep with a girl unless you do the follow-through properly all right so those are the three elements that always need to be in place all right so whatever whatever you're looking at whether you're looking at pickup cold approach social circle online always think in terms of these three factors right how can I improve my access how can I prove my follow-through out can I approve the attraction factor let's go a little deeper though so these are basically the three pillars if you're missing any of these three pillars you will have a problem right without any of these the triangle falls apart and you're wasted all right let's talk about access there's a lot of ways to get access to girls right you can get access to girls to a cold approach walking up and talking to strangers you could get access to girls through shared activities that's how most guys in the world get access to girls right they go to school and they sleep with or try to sleep with girls from their school or they go to work and you know they meet let you know Suzy that works at the desk next to them right social circle right and that involves you know having cool friends having activities shared activities and social circle really do intersect a lot because a lot of times you go to school with people and they're in your social circle etc but you can have a social circle without shared activities and really popular people very social people tend to have a social circle outside of the activities online one of the most abundant sources of women especially in the current modern day and the last idea is some sort of Fame having something that draws girls to you so if you are a famous actor or famous musician DJ anything like that or if you are famous within a social circle right if you're in college and your fraternity and you're well-known in that fraternity that's a form of fame right if you are an athlete in college you can you get you know put on stage every now and again that's a form of fame it doesn't have to be global fame it can be local even if you are like theoretically like the captain of your chess team you know the girls that are in the Chess Club you have a little bit of Fame in that context right so there is global and local fame in fact when I was growing up I had I had no global fame but I did have local fame as like you know academically as like the nerdy guy that the nerdy girls wanted so I'm well aware of that one all right so these are ways you can get access understand that you don't have to be doing cold approach to get access however there are pros and cons to all of these right and we're going to talk about what are good access strategies a good strategy for getting access needs to be these characteristics first of all has to be plausible there has to be a good reason why you're there and has to make sense for example imagine you are 50 years old and you want to go pick up girls on a college campus not to say that age is a problem not to say that a 50 year old guy can't be with 18 year old girls cuz he certainly can definitely I've seen it I plan on doing it when I'm 50 however however there's a very good and reasonable question what the [ __ ] are you doing on a college campus in the first place right so the very fact that you're there conveys some sort of agenda conveys that there's something going on that maybe is a little odd right so it makes it a little implausible right one of the great things about something like online game is it's completely possible right everybody's agreed to be there everybody knows why you're there it's up front and so there's no plausibility issue okay cold approach is not the most plausible a lot of times right one of the struggles actually with cold approach one of the things that the experts that cold approach game dude that other guys don't is they make that cold approach plausible they make it make sense they make it seem like it just happened they make it seem normal instead of seeming like a big put-on event um next though abundant and scalable and this oh by the way I'm plausible for plausibility shared activities and social circle actually probably the best right if you want plausible access you go to school with a girl she sits in the decks desk next to you you have the most plausible access ever right or you're in a fraternity or sorority hopefully or not in a sorority but you're in a fraternity and you know the girls that are in that sorority there's a lot of plausible access there the problem with those kind of strategies though is the next one which is they're not abundant and scalable right the problem with social circle game is that it works within that social circle but it doesn't work in the whole broad world so let's say you have a really tight group of like attractive friends here in New York right but now you go to I don't know somewhere in Asia all of a sudden you don't have that social circle we go to Australia or Canada wherever right so you can't take it with you it's not abundant it's not scalable online is pretty abundant and scalable as well right at least if you live in a big city to a point old approach is completely abundant and scalable and that's one of those beautiful things about a cold approach to strategy is that you can go anywhere meet a girl and and that's actually why I love cold approach right every girl is out somewhere in life available to be cold approach so it gives you complete access complete abundance finally whatever you're doing must be well framed okay and what I mean by well framed is it shouldn't put you in a position of low value putting you in a position to where you look needy trihard desperate etc right and again the different strategies are better and worse in terms of this so for example online game not necessarily the best frame sometimes right online game why are you online why don't you already have a girlfriend right it's something that you have to get over cold approach game depending on the nature of how you do it sometimes not well framed right why did you you know have to run up to me and and approach me in this situation don't you already have a girlfriend is it's a little not the most normal now it can be framed if you do it better it's framed a better but again the framings there again in terms of this things like social circle game things like friends of friends those kind of things shared activities tend to be the best best friend and the absolute best framed way is famous right if you're famous and they come to you or if you have some kind of social proof and they come to you that's the best frames okay we're gonna talk about social proof and that'll come a little bit later but social proof not just in the sense of having friends and having people like you but also implying social proof implying through your actions and playing through your words and playing through the way you carry yourself that you are popular and have a good life that's very very plausible and it's very important for framing when you're talking about things like a cold approach okay so this is access right if you want a good access strategy everybody should be thinking this if you want to get laid you're thinking how am I going to make how and where am I going to meet girls right and then is it plausible is what I'm doing plausible is it abundant and scalable is it well framed and to the extent that it's not how can I improve those aspects right so that's the first thing you think about is where and how am i meeting next attraction right what is attraction basically the idea of attraction is it's very nebulous there's a lot of things in it but basically the idea is in some sort of evolutionary or value context the girl is better off getting your seed than some random guys seed alright that's that's what it basically comes down to and this can be for a variety of factors it can be because you look genetically big and strong it can be because you have good social feedback it could be because you seem rich and powerful and successful it could be for a lot of different things okay but the idea here is there's some reason why she's chosen that with you some reason why it's a win for her that's a big thing to keep in mind throughout all of game it should be a win for her if she's winning by sleeping with you she probably will if she's losing by sleeping with you she probably won't it's just that by there um and again this can take many forms genetic indicators social proof there's this great idea who here knows what an honest signal is in terms of evolution about half the room okay cool so an honest signal is something that's attractive and cannot be faked all right the example that's given an evolution a lot of times as the Peacocks feathers their brightly colored which means he has to have vitamins in his diet so he has to be healthy in order to make those colors and also the fact that they're brightly colored makes him a target for predators if he can survive with the brightly colored feathers he must be very very adept right and so it's it's an honest signal something it can't be faked that says I have good genetics right there's the same kind of thing for people right so things like a good physique symmetry those kind of things are an honest genetic signal things like social proof having people talk well about you having people say things about you it's very hard to fake right it's very easy for you to brag about yourself hey girl I got all this stuff going on I'm so good I'm the [ __ ] alright anybody can do that but if 10 other people have already told her about her before she meets you that's a lot harder to fake now if you're very clever you could fake that alright but that's much more difficult so it's considered a much more honest signal right so the harder some thing is to fake the more honest it is also generally things that are more negative tend to be more honest things that are more positive tend to be more dishonest because you have more reason to fake the positive than the negative it's a very unfortunate consequence of this all right but anything that's an honest display is is considered in terms of the girls level of attraction for you displays of competence if you're good at [ __ ] girls will respond to that even if it's silly stuff I'm telling you I got girls off a little bit not I didn't actually get them sent know how to follow through but I got attraction from girls on being good at school and good at chess as a kid I swear you I kid you not right any kind of competence will get you some sort of attractions and then abundance resources and power are very very powerful as as forms of Attraction and especially as you get older as a man these become more and more useful because in a certain sense if you're getting older if you're in you're like forties fifties sixties and you don't have any resources and you don't have any power there's this kind of like what's he doing with his life kind of thing right where is it 18 you're not expected to have a lot of resources and power yet right so you need to kind of ideally have at least something of a semblance of what you kind of should have at your age and it will be helpful now you you can succeed without any of these but they all definitely help finally we have follow-through and so as I say here it's a general cocktail of not [ __ ] up right but it comes down to a lot of different things first of all is the girl comfortable with you and here I want to make a point because most people in game get the idea of comfort wrong okay the idea of comfort most people like oh she like you know you have things in common you have shared interests that's a little bit of comfort and the reason by the way that that helps a girl out is that if you have shared interests she's acquitting you with all the other people she's had shared interests with who are people she probably trusted so therefore by association she trusts you right but what you actually really want the comfort you want is what I call high value comfort high value comfort means she's comfortable that being with you won't be a degradation of her right she's comfortable that it won't make her look [ __ ] won't make her look bad socially won't give her a venereal disease won't listen have her have like a kid inside her that has bad genetics or will not be raised by his father those kind of things okay so it's it's comfort that it won't be a loss that's what it really comes down to it's not about if you have the same favorite color okay that really doesn't matter very much but a lot of guys get that wrong like oh you know I just girl and I we like the same music and had the same color why didn't she like me and sleep with me right that's not the most important factor um proper escalation okay knowing how to escalate without making the girl nervous and uncomfortable is so so so critical right if you either don't ever get physical or don't ever bring up the ideas of sex you're not gonna get laid at all if you do in a way that creeps are out makes her uncomfortable you're gonna have big problems and actually progress collation is another value as well right if you know how to escalate what does that say about your sexual history all right it says I've been with girls before girls have liked me before which also says you can be comfortable that being with me won't be a loss managing logistics getting her from point A to point B without it being awkward without her being [ __ ] etc managing the peer group so she doesn't appear [ __ ] and so that you can get isolation get to sex and then maintaining attraction through the comfort phase we'll talk about that a lot more later when we get into structured game but that's absolutely critical that's one of the biggest failings with guys who have a structured game plan so we'll talk about that more later okay but that's follow-through all right so you guys see how those three pillars work right you do be able to access the girls maybe I'll track the girls and then you DB will follow through if any of those are missing you're [ __ ] all right and that's gonna become very important as you start talking about the models because a lot of the models are good in one area but they break down somewhere else all right let's talk about models of game and we're gonna go in the order that I learn them right there's a lot of subjective ways we could do this I'm gonna do it in the order that I learned them from a teenage boy all the way to today so the first one is one you guys have probably never heard of because it's in some obscure book from the 1970s alright and this is the attractive qualities model listen mate basically when I was on digging through my father's porn collection I found this book and there's the porno magazines so anyway but it actually has some good information has some really good information and basically what they've done in this book is they did a survey of hundreds of women and they basically tried to suss out what are the qualities that there was women liked in men right then they date him and they've been attracted to a said room and they came up with basically what they would they boiled down to five qualities those were attractiveness attentiveness assertiveness assuredness and aliveness and we're gonna run through briefly what all of those are so first of all attractiveness this does not mean being like chiseled and having abs although that is that does help right but it doesn't mean just that what it really means is doing the most that you can with with your look okay so it means having a good haircut having a good style being in the gym all those kind of things in fact a lot of girls surveyed mentioned that they were with guys that were with or had been attracted to guys who had actually ugly faces but their overall impression was very very good right and so as men were lucky in that sense as women women are being judged very much on just the physical for us those guys were being judged as the message being conveyed by the physical a lot all right so there's a lot you can do with your attractiveness so it's not just being in the gym in having good physique although you guys all should do that okay because why not it's only gonna help right it's another factor in this but it's not just that and it's not just about being genetically attractive or being perfectly symmetrical or being a model or anything like that okay next attentiveness and this is an interesting one this is this actually kind of if I if I were to rewrite this list I would put it deeper down in the list because I want to get to it later but actually [ __ ] it we'll do that one last because I can assertiveness assertiveness basically means saying what you want doing what you want standing up for what you want those kind of things right and why is that attractive to women because it indicates you're a leader it indicates high social status if you're unwilling to be assertive if you're unwilling to speak your mind and stand up for yourself what does that say about your history in life exactly that when you stood up for yourself someone's like get the [ __ ] out of here loser or like punched you in the face right but if you are willing to be assertive that says when I've asserted myself when I've tried to stand up for myself when I've asked for what I wanted I've received a positive response right and so it's a clear indicator of high status clear indicator of leadership etc so being assertive is very very good tell you guys a quick story the first date I ever went on in my entire life in high school basically I didn't know how to run a date I probably would have just gone nowhere with it but this this girl that was with actually kind of knew and like I think had set it up so that we would kind of be in a situation where good things could happen so basically we went and met one of her friends and like had a quick chat and then we went to go rent a movie and then go back to her place and watch the movie it sounds like a pretty good layout for a date right but I was trying so hard to be perfect on this date that and this was my first date no so nervous I didn't know what to do I spent probably half an hour perusing the movies trying to like pick just the just the right perfect movie for the date so eventually she just got pissed off and said we're taking this one and just left I was fed up with me and like nothing doing the rest of the day right even though it had been all set up and it was all laid out and funny enough like before even like going on the date with her had gotten physical with her just outside of even asking for the date once I got back to her place on the date we didn't even touch like didn't even hold hands didn't even touch whatever because I just [ __ ] it all up through lack of assertiveness lack of willingness to make a decision lack of willingness to say this is the movie I want do you want this one or have you seen this right as being too accommodating immediate turnoff okay assured Ness now assuredness seems similar to assertiveness assuredness means like being self-assured being confident that you're that you're high quality that you're the best maybe even being a little bit cocky right especially when it comes to escalating like if you go to touch a girl and you're hesitant can i maybe touch you here immediately turned off right but if you do it with confidence like you believe it's gonna work even if you do it a little bit wrong you'll usually get away with it okay so assuredness is believing that you are of high value and she will respond well to you now this is distinct from a certain from sorry from assertiveness because you could be assertive and not assured right you could be the person that stands up for himself but it's uncomfortable excuse me i just can i maybe say so you know you could be that person assertive but not assured you could also be assured but not assertive in the sense that you could be very confident with the girl one-on-one but as soon as there's other people around you're like afraid to touch her afraid to make a move afraid to address them a lot of pickup artists so this way when the girl has friends with them right one-on-one you're just fine as soon as the girls come friends come I'm like no I wasn't doing pickup I promised nos I would never know right that's it shared but not assertive all right last one our second to last one as we're doing is aliveness and that means just basically like being willing to take risks being willing to bring some energy and spark to the conversation just think of this as being non boring right like for example if say you're with a girl and things are going well and she goes hey let's go skinny-dipping you're like well no I just don't really feel like immediate turnoff okay not very alive not very much fun I mean imagine imagine having sex with the guy that doesn't want to go skinny-dipping right it's like it do use don't envision it quite as well it doesn't seem as much fun right so aliveness being willing to take risks this is actually a big reason why girls will get into guys that ride motorcycles guys that fight even those kind of things it's fun it's exciting it's emotionally stimulating even if logically like that's [ __ ] stupid they're still emotionally stimulated by it all right and then last one is attentiveness the reason I bring this one up last is because as I'm going to bring up all the other models there's this value comfort kind of conundrum attentiveness really falls into a comfort category more than a value category attentiveness means that you actually give a [ __ ] about the girl will so pay some attention to her right I guess a good example of this would be a lot of times in relationships girls will pick fights with you right and early on in the relationship or during a pick up a girl picking a fight with you might be like a test of your frame to test if you're gonna give in to her right a lot of times later on a relationship a girl will pick a fight with you to see if you actually fight back because if you're too dismissive if you don't seem to care that's gonna make her feel uncomfortable that's gonna make her feel like whatever you have with her isn't special does that make sense right and so that that sort of fact that you do care a little bit makes a difference or the fact that in you as you're escalating physically you take care to go slowly enough that it feels good for her all right you take care of you you know instead of just ripping well sometimes you can just refer clothes off and that's good right but instead of just automatically ripping your clothes off thoughtlessly maybe you take the time to like you know kiss her a few places caress a few places take your time with the foreplay that attentiveness indicates that the life that you're bringing her into will be more fun for her it also indicates some sort of sexual competence right so that would that bit willingness to be attentive to her that willing just treat her as a little bit special definitely will help girls out and down the road okay so those are the the big factors the other thing that I learned from this book was aggressive eye contact and I mean like [ __ ] aggressive okay in this book they basically recommended like staring slash leering at girls like constantly all right you know what it kind of works it actually [ __ ] works so I did this in class doesn't like in middle school that and they they recommended this like heavy-lidded kind of stare really like staring at the girl so I'm like in class like staring at the girl across the room for me like this and it actually [ __ ] worked it actually would give me a track it actually get the girls very intrigued that first like they did like look away and then look back at me like what's going on but eventually they get like mesmerized and hold eye contact and there's like connection from across there it was pretty good it's a little weird a little creepy but it actually went for a guy who had never done anything sexual with a girl's like a young teenage guy it was pretty amazing to see those results and it does show that power of eye contact and very very very useful so the results of this for me as a teenage boy I got attraction from girls in the class and kind of like a creepy like weird [ __ ] way I got attraction but there's no follow-through because this model it has the pros of telling you how to be an attractive man what are the attractive qualities but the problem is if you look at these a lot of these they're sort of non-contact events right that you're being attractive in isolation from the girl right if you become a more assertive person in general the girl may see that but it's not directly like you're communicating and talking with the girl and taking somewhere and going on a date right so there's no actual interaction right it's kind of like the guy who I joke around about this like who wants new cold approach by going to a club and sitting in the corner and just be like I'm James Bond and not talking to anybody right he might be the coolest guy but nobody has any access to the fact that he's cool because he's actually not breaking that like a conversational barrier right so with girls who actually did it have to interact with me I actually got a little more attraction from this but it wasn't really doing it in terms of meeting him also there's no follow-through the problem I had to is these girls get attracted to me I'm like then what it didn't know how to take him on a date didn't know how to talk to him didn't know how to escalate physically and he just would go nowhere right so it's a limited model but it's something next one I learned is a really great book that I read which I recommend to anyone and everyone on learning how to talk there's a book called making people talk by Barry Farber it's an incredible book basically this guy was a radio interviewer right that's his job is he's on radio people get on the show and he has to interview them make them interesting on air and so his whole idea was it in order to be a good conversationalist it's not about you talking at them it's about getting them to talk and by the way this concept is one of the things most missing in the current model of pickup right most guys in pickup are just talking at the girl and talking out the girl and talking out the girl and the girls not participating right learn this learn this idea the goal at the start of a pickup is to get her to talk is to her too invested to get her to participate that's the biggest thing you can be doing okay so just that idea of making people talk is huge but what this guy basically did is he gave me this book is a treatise on how to start a conversation with a stranger and how to make it a conversation that the stranger wants to be a part of okay now the failing of this book from a pickup standpoint is he didn't make the distinction of male and female strangers very much it's just how to talk to a stranger period so as it doesn't say a whole lot about sexualizing or or any of that kind of stuff but it is really good for talking and here are some rules first rule assume the burden of the interaction okay when you go up and talk to a girl or any stranger it's your job to make the conversation happen not theirs so if you got me go I said you say hi and they go hey and then you just sit there you [ __ ] up okay they weren't planning to talk to you they weren't prepared to talk to you you have to assume the burden you have to carry the conversation in your shoulders for usually the first 30 seconds or a minute all right and this is what's known as the 90/10 rule right you guys may have heard that one 90/10 rule now the problem with a 90/10 rule from again this making people talk perspective is this it should be ninety ten as long as it has to me but remember what the core goal is the core goal is to make her talk alright so guys get it in this ninety ten idea all right so there's two mistakes guys make one is they go up and just expect the girl to carry the conversation hey what's up I'm here oh [ __ ] nothing happened oops my bad the other one is they go ninety ten for six hours straight I just talk at the girl and talk to the girl and talk to the girl and don't let the girl talk so what you actually want to do is this assume the bird and up until the place where she's willing to talk as soon as she's willing to talk that's what you actually want okay so ninety ten because you have to but only for as long as you have to the goal is to sit back and let her talk um and then the other things that he would really work on in in in talk new people is make the other person feel important make the other person feel like the most special person in the world because if someone this makes sense if someone when they're with you feels special and feels like the center of attention and feels like they're really cool they're associating that feeling with you and they want further conversations with you where they feel special and cool and important all right so that's the general idea here now from a pickup perspective the problem here is that the girl might not care enough about your opinion of her to stay long enough for this to happen in some context right or she may not this you may not care enough in terms of like if you make her feel too special and important she may like enjoy the conversation in terms of this guy's amusing and fun but not in terms of I want his penis alright there's a little difference there but it is very useful the other thing that was very much brought home to me for him from reading this book is the importance of words right if pick up and talking to girls is a verbal art it's a verbal endeavor so the more that you study words the more that you study humor the more that you have a good vocabulary the more that we'll talk about frame control and [ __ ] tests and those kind of things the more adept you are verbally the better off you're gonna be with girls and this is actually becoming even more important as we move to a world that has more online game in more social media right because you can't convey a lot of body language through those channels it's gotta be words alright so learning and working on your words is critically critically important so basically I took this went to college and I got probably two dates every single weekend and I went for 10 months before I got my first kiss right because what I was doing here is I was did one thing one thing I've always done really well is I've always taken a model and followed it really really well so if the model was incomplete my game was definitely incomplete right so this is an incomplete model it didn't teach me how to get sexual but it taught me how to get dates so I was getting date after date after date never ever ever kissed a girl because there was nothing sexual in this model but if you want to get social dates absolutely a brilliant model in fact if you know how to escalate later and escalate on the date this model actually is pretty good there as well but you've got to be able to escalate at some point that's what's missing here that's the biggest thing that's missing it's also an early game model but we'll talk about that in a little bit okay so that was the next thing still not getting laid though like if you look at my personal history I'm getting some dates now getting talking to girls still not getting laid all right how many guys have heard of a book called double your dating yeah how many guys have read this book yeah some know one - just a few we know who's really been in the pickup community for a while now so double your dating was a book by a man named David DeAngelo which for me was absolutely groundbreaking and for the pickup community be fair was groundbreaking and basically if I were to sum up in two words what this book was about it's called cocky funny right those are the two things you're trying to be you're trying to be cocky and to be fair like a lot of his funny wasn't really that funny but it's like it's like cocky and like challenging or cocky and like and like a little bit shocking like cocky and shocking cocky and challenging would probably almost be a better phrase worth than cocky and funny because it wasn't like comedic but the thing here is you're going up to a girl and here's what's brilliant about it you're telling her I'm amazing one way or another and that's a beautiful thing right because if you go up to a girl and tell her you're amazing what's her option what can she do with that all right she can either accept that you're amazing which that seems to work pretty well right or she can challenge that you're amazing in which case now you're in a back and forth through and verbal banter and good things can happen right and so just that permission to like be a little bit cocky that permission to be a little shocking was really really powerful for me and powerful for tons and tons of guys um and then the other thing that he taught in that book because I'm sure that by doing that he got [ __ ] tested like a [ __ ] who was how to pass [ __ ] test and basically it's not one technique for passing a test which is a technique called misinterpretation right misinterpretation basically means treat it like it was a compliment so if it were goes air that sure it's so black you go glad you like it right that was like it'd be like the double your dating response everything Oh glad you like it or what is it about black shirts you like so much okay but so is a very formulaic it's very predictable once you've kind of read it and seen it but it does have that element that you are making things sexually charged you are taking a risk does it make sense all right now so with this I actually started getting attraction I actually did get laid once I still once I started using these techniques etc I was pretty close before with the other technique so I might have gotten there eventually but this definitely put me over the top however in my career teaching pickup I've seen a lot of guys who did this style of game and like like learned just this and I had kind of an affectionate phrase for them we called them cocky funny [ __ ] heads because guys that were just being cocky funny cocky funny cocky funny what would end up happening is that they're ending up like just trolling the girl and not actually taking in the direction right so just like they're just making fun of the girl and just being a dick because they found that they can get away with it and the girl will tolerate it for a bit and tolerate it for a bit but then eventually she won't and so they'd end up with these like very fun interesting interactions but not getting a lot of sex right and it's because basically I mean it's a model that has a traction in it but no comfort right so to kind of understand that there's a there's a great Warren Buffett phrase which I like they say like any he says any long string of any any long string of big numbers multiplied together with even one zero in the string always equals zero that makes sense so the double your dating model was a little bit like that it was a little bit like if you were gonna like if you were like went to go went to the casino and you should bet on black and you just keep doubling down over and over and over again alright so the first time 5050 you're gonna win or end up with zero next time 50/50 win more end up with zero next time 50/50 win win more end up with zero right and so you're gonna leave the casino like almost every single time at zero one time and like a blue moon you're he ended up with like this massive stack of cash all right the problem with that though is if you think of like getting laid as like a monetary amount you don't need a massive stack of cash to get laid you need like a small stack of cash right like a decent-sized stack of cash all right so basically you're either massively overkill and just like frying the girls circuits and getting laid like one time in like hundreds and then 99 times out of 100 [ __ ] it up and just blowing the set up does that make sense because this is very very very one-size-fits-all button-pushing model right and girls tend to see right through it however it is good for getting attraction so it's good as far as it goes that make sense okay cool next who's here who's heard of this one speed seduction there's no this one how many people have tried speed seduction nobody was bold enough nobody was daring enough to try it and I know piano P as per Ross Jeffries but yes yeah you tried it good I liked it I liked it somebody's been around as long as I have that's good um so speed seduction is really interesting really really interesting uh you know getting cuts at the bottom here actually made me worse but it did open my and actually even though it particularly made my results a little worse when I was trying it it is probably the most brilliant model to have come out up to its time and it included a lot of beautiful things that didn't exist before for those of you who don't know what speed seduction is here's basically what it is space deduction is the use of something called neuro linguistic programming which means communicating with a girl in in a way that's meant to lead her mind psychologically right what it meant in practice was saying and doing a lot of things that were meant to put sexual thoughts into a girl's head so example is this um you guys have all heard they've heard the phrase don't think of a pink elephant what do you guys all thinking of right now pink elephant right so the idea here would be maybe I would say oh you know my friend told me the funniest story was so crazy and then say like this blatantly sexual thing right so what you've done is you've relieved yourself with the responsibility of saying it by saying it was your friend and then you tell this very sexual story and in order for her to understand that very sexual story she has to imagine it right all right like for example if I were to tell all of you not to think of a penis right now sorry I did that to you I'm sorry I did that to you right but it's kind of hard to avoid and then as you're thinking about that you might think like to yourself oh [ __ ] I just thought oh this guy's penis am I actually a little gay alright it's hard to unlink these things so that's that's a very non subtle version of planting ideas and suggestions in your head right um the other thing this did was leading the conversation in sexual directions and it really emphasized storytelling which is one of the most powerful things in game right telling stories is hugely powerful right by telling the story you can communicate ideas communicate emotions and feelings and you can let someone get to know you all at once right so to be actively telling stories as part of your game was absolutely massive the other thing here was frame control right so in the double your dating model there was frame control in a path in a reactive sense as in the girl gives you a [ __ ] test and you're gonna use frame control to get around that [ __ ] test there's a little bit of active frame control although there was one frame which is I'm amazing right I'm amazing and you're attracted to me I noticed right I was like that would be like the classic W dating opener I noticed you're attractive to me or attracted to me I'm sorry you are kind of attractive but anyway whatever okay so here you're getting sexual right and I messed around with this and it was actually really really kind of freaky all right so what I what I did with this is um I can think of two kind of situations that that were just that I did this with very unusual one was I went on a coffee date with a girl and I started doing these like speed seduction patterns there's like these routines and stories that are meant to be like all sexually didn't lead the minds and I'm at a Starbucks I don't like this girl and I are like holding hands on the Starbucks table and she just like closed her eyes is like mmm at Starbucks I was like okay that's [ __ ] cool like I'd never seen that before this is amazing this is working and then I tried to get her to go you know anywhere else with me from Starbucks and she got really nervous like no no no I'm not going anywhere I'm not going anywhere because she was weirded out by how attracted she had been she was weirded out by the fact that she'd just done what she'd done in public she's weird out by the fact that she didn't know me and like it was all it was all very sexual without anything friendly without anything like in terms of getting to know each other on a factual level etc right so it didn't really work I had in another similar situation to that in in my college library like a like a little while later right whereas like again girl getting very aroused in like a public place but then when it went would say like getting her home or getting here on a date later is extremely flaky extremely weird but very eye-opening like a very eye-opening those getting those kind of reactions and to be fair I again I never got laid directly with speed seduction however later on in my game I do use it in the bedroom and I do use it late on in an interaction sometimes or little elements of it so there are a lot of good little bits of it okay so that's a speed seduction okay and that brings us to to structured game alright and that's this is where you're starting to get into a more robust model of game alright and I wanna I want to kind of most of a lot of you know the current structure game most of you probably don't know this one the original mystery model of game how many people have seen this fmac you've seen everything alright so this is basically the fmac means fine to meet attract clubs okay and I kind of want to talk to you about this model as a structured game get the other models because it's it's gonna highlight them really well so as far as clothes right as far as the clothes part basically that speed seduction at this point right because speed seduction is go in and like walk up to a stranger and just clothes all right just walk up and just start talking sexual and clothes and try and try and make it work right now if we were to walk up to the girl in her bedroom somehow is your first meeting that could work but most of the time it's not going to work in public right so speed seduction is like it's like just just the C in fmac right if you look at the the double your dating model it's just the a it's just a track to track to track to track the track to tracked and just keep attracting until her circuits prime right if you look at the gig making her talk making people talk model right that's basically meat right it's just meat meat meat meat meat but there's no attraction and no clothes so you're just making friends right so you can see all these models that were before they all had really good elements but the problem was there was no no structure in no direction to it all right and to be fair this is what I see with a lot of guys in game nowadays I see a lot of guys would go out tell me if this is familiar to you go out you tease the girl you attract the girl it's going well but then you're like oh [ __ ] what now has that ever happen right absolutely that's basically you're doing the double your dating model essentially now I'm probably doing a little more calibrating so there's a lot more technology now we're essentially doing that model right or do you ever find yourself in the half hour conversation in nowhere where you're just talking to girls and it's just like Latanya platonic and you just can't seem to take it anywhere else all right what are you doing you're doing just the meet model you're basically doing them making her talk model of game right so all of these models are sort of contained into the later models that have come and if you understand the pros and cons you understand what works within those earlier models you'll understand how to do the later models so basically the biggest thing that this did for me was give me a frame of reference for all the other models where do these pieces actually fit in how can I use them ie there's a sequencing right walk out and do the making people talk model then do some double your dating model then do some speed seduction model done close alright it actually kind of works um the other thing that that maybe mysteries most brilliant work to the pickup community ever is group theory how to open groups right and and just find me to track closed model he basically taught groups area and that's like before that I had gone around my college campus and whatever I saw a group of girls I would literally like stalk them to wait for the wounded gazelle to leave the herd so I could run in for a 30-second talk to her and run away before her friends caught me okay once I learned how to approach groups now I can actually you know talk to people in a normal social way I can go to parties and like actually talk to the girl I want it was amazing so that's another thing that came out of this which is absolutely beautiful all right now the structured game I'm going to talk about the most and the models I'm gonna talking about the most here are the current structured game model so we talked about an advanced structured game and then we'll talk about what so-called natural game as two different models and and how they kind of work so you can say this is mystery 2.0 or you say it's the early of the rsd model prior to 2006 maybe 2007 something like that they're essentially the same because they were the same company at one point and they taught the same [ __ ] after they split but basically the mystery would be open attraction comfort and closed with like you know numbers a 1 a 2 a 3 C 1 C 2 C 3 under comfort eventually and then the RSC will be open hook connection which is basically Comfort emotional and physical and then close so it's essentially the same model so essentially the same idea but it has a sequence and you'll notice it's very similar to find me the tracked clothes model right and the brilliance of this for a cold approach is that what you actually want to be doing in game and this is very important like if you like our thinking game what you want to be doing what are we spending most of your time in comfort and closing that's how your game should look right most of you who have watched infield footage probably think the opposite right you think it's all about getting big reactions that have it goes oh my god alright that's not what game is game is not about how many Oh My gods you get in the public club is how many oh my god you get in the bedroom okay all right so it's about connection and closing the hooking and attraction stuff is just to get you there right that's only to make you relevant enough to the girl that she wants to connect and be closed all right so understand that um but in a cold approach setting if you just walk straight in and look for comfort it looks very kind of low value it looks very very try hard and the girl doesn't have a reason to want to connect with you right and actually we talked about the structured game the single biggest place where people would lose lose girls was right here between attraction and comfort right because there is this idea basically the way structure game went was you open and you have like these stories you're telling or whatever right and then attraction is the you know teasing I've you know hands off the merchandise you and I won't get a long back turn all this kind of stuff right and actually works really really well really well and then you're gonna go into comfort which is oh hey I actually really like you you're actually kind of special etc the problem is a couple things its massively incongruent right first of all hey hands off the merchandise I don't like you your [ __ ] off you've good luck wow you're kind of special okay it's like where did that come from right so that transition and making it plausible it's very very very difficult the other problem is this most of the reason why the girl liked you and chase it was chasing you is because you're unavailable then you make yourself available in comfort and if at any point things don't go your way you no longer have all that power and leverage you had earlier because you've clearly made yourself available right the reason the girl liked you is because she couldn't have you right but as snow she can have you where's your power where are you going with that on top of that it made it really [ __ ] hard to escalate imagine that hands off the merchandise hands off now it doesn't work doesn't work hey let's have sex right escalation didn't make a lot of sense either and so you'd see a lot of guys get tons and tons of Attraction but the transition to comfort and closing was very very difficult and getting girls to qualify was like the hard part right there was this line it's actually decent line if used right which was you're you're kind of cute but beauty is common what do you have going for you besides your looks they'll make get to know you guys heard that line before right and that was like the when you did if you did structure gaming that was your thing when you drop that line you're literally holding your breath because because if you say that line and she starts qualifying herself you're like ha this one's gonna work if you say that line you're like hey what are you guys going for besides your looks and she's like oh nothing like [ __ ] my life what do I do now right because I was like our one go-to line to make that transition right or if if the girl goes why should I tell you you're really [ __ ] right because that means you didn't even do enough of like attraction stuff and now you have to go back in cycle through it while you've already given away that you're interested in the girl [ __ ] right and so when this worked when this worked it was some of the most powerful game you've ever seen and I [ __ ] you not on that like some of the most powerful game and it had the capability to get like true tens like celebrities [ __ ] like that right it had that power however I was like walking a tightrope as soon as you lean a little too far one way you're off that tightrope when you were completely [ __ ] and you have to like go climb all the way back on and start over alright so he's very very inflexible and very very hard to actually follow through to like a conclusion or a result but it was like the most powerful type of game I've ever seen what else to say about this but pre-close basically so basically this this linear sequence is very good the other problem with this is that guys would get this linear sequence if I have to open I have to do a traction ask to comfort I have to do close and they'd have this idea that it's supposed to take like four to seven hours and they have to do all these various routines and stuff sometimes they'd walk up to a girl they'd say hey what's up and grow big you're hot and the guy to be like well first I need to neg her three times and then I need to like spend 45 minutes talking to her about you know showing her my photos around the world and then and only then can I invite her on a day to write it's absolutely ridiculous right because the idea was this procedure worked but it's a long procedure and a lot of times you don't have to do all of it alright so that's another major major problem with it so yeah so the transition protraction of comfort was very very difficult escalation is very rare cult and the problem is it takes a [ __ ] long time and it's not very flexible however extremely powerful extremely good so yeah pros to it absolutely amazing it groups how many of you guys I think you're really good at approaching groups anybody one guy in here if this was like 10 years ago and this was like a serious room of like pick up guys so if you like yes me me me right you know why cuz they did this [ __ ] and it works really well for groups works really well for groups how often when you see a hot girl shoot with a group like always like [ __ ] 99.9 percent of the time right so maybe this would be a good thing to like learn and re-implement a little bit for those group situations just a suggestion just throwing it out there okay amazing for groups amazing for getting attraction and actually amazing for getting the girls you're not supposed to get all right the girls that are like technically above you um next thing and this is amazing - it made game scientific and testable because none that not that this is entirely a good thing but because guys were going up and saying the same things and doing the same things over and over and over again they actually got a sample size and they actually got a control group you could say hey this routine works this routine doesn't work has I open ten times with it and I open ten times with this one and these are my results right so it actually made it testable which is really really useful and and here's a general principle on that if in your game you're being proactive ie you're actively doing something to the girl doing something to the environment you're the one at cause and making things happen it's gonna be very easy to tell when you're doing things well if you're in a reaction if you're just like kind of hoping and waiting for things to happen it's gonna be very hard to tell that's very very hard to learn because there's no cause and effect that make sense if you're not at cause it's hard to judge the effect so any kind of game style you want to learn you always want to make sure you're at cause make sure you're the one doing things rather than having things done to you for exits good game but also because otherwise you will never learn it's just this it's almost impossible a sample size so mid game scientific and testable taught storytelling and it made the people doing this interesting when I was okay so when I was doing this camp structured game I would have a notebook in my back pocket at all times and whenever a comedian set a funny Joker that I overheard in a movie or on TV or whatever I'd write it down and whenever someone told a good story I'd like write like a couple bullet points if that was a good story and here was the structure of it how could I create a story like that right whenever I said something good interaction I remembered it I would go write it down after I'd be like after sleeping with a girl I'd go in the bathroom and write down like the things I said to her right so I was it sounds plenty right but I was actively working on being a more interesting person I was actively working on conveying a more interesting life telling better stories being funnier right in a very structured very direct way is very very useful in that regard next one great for flipping the script and getting her to chase and for any of you who have seen some of my more recent material on how to get 9s and 10s and whatnot you'll know that getting the girl to chase is one of the things that I am absolutely the biggest on in game getting the girl to invest game the girl to chase I call it reverse LMR right you should get the girl to the bedroom and instead of her being like no no no we can't even know why we shouldn't and she's the one jumping on you that should be the goal and this type of game is very very good for that in fact sometimes it's a little too good for that I'll tell you a an interesting story of as I was learning this game so I'd been decent with like somewhat attractive girls but I wasn't getting the hottest hottest girls right and then I had one week where I went out I went out twice in that week both times I went to a bar that was like a pretty high-end bar like where I was almost intimidated in the bar and I wouldn't talk to a girl in like an intimidating group who was like the hottest girl in the bar got her number I had her chasing me had her like touching me and then I had her come out for me on a day-to right within like 2 times going out hottest girl in the bar twice picking her up twice caterer on a day-to and then I'm both day two's went on the date - everything was good got it got back to her place went to kiss her and she freaked out because she actually thought I was the entire time weirdly enough right because what had happened was I had learned to be interesting I'd learned to be non-threatening I'd learned to be very unavailable and trigger all those kind of like I can't have it so I wanted emotions but I had done it so convincingly and so well and I hadn't like conveyed intent in other ways that both those girls actually like thought I was gay right now eventually I did learn to do get those really hot girls without being gay at the same time right I learned I learned how to get through that transition but it was very interesting that that transition occurred between like getting average girls getting the hot girls thinking I'm gay and then getting the hot girls not thinking I'm gay because it is a very backwards getting them to chase kind of a game and for a girl that's really hot like how many guys ever do that to her pretty much gay guys gay guys and like guys that are out of her league like a true celebrity basically um anyway not not that's not it that's not a knock in the style of game by the way because I'm my first the majority of my first 60 lays also came from that style of game so you definitely can convey some non gay things as well but it's just interesting story so it works very well in the hottest girls works on getting into getting in the chase and then the last thing and this is maybe one of the most important things in my game that nobody else does or nobody does these days is the idea that I call plot line okay now plot line basically means that there's a dynamic there's an underlying story between you and the girl okay so for this think of a romantic comedy right and I'm sure like all of you are thinking of different romantic comedies right now there are many many different romantic comedies but probably this is true for all of them at some point I'm a guy in a girl meeting and at some point there's some tension between them excuse me they don't get along maybe they're adversaries maybe there's some circumstance between them maybe their friends don't like each other and maybe they're competing in something whatever right they don't get along at first and there's more and more heightened emotion between them in this negative sense and then at some point something happens where one of them kind of realizes oh the other one's okay or they're stressed into a situation where they're forced to get to know each other a little bit and they realize they're okay and then all that negative emotion gets transferred to positive emotion and it's like really amazing and they live happily ever after that's sound like every romantic comedy you've ever seen in your entire life there's a reason for that because that's the formula of a girl like falling in love with a guy basically that's the formula right the formula is a lot of emotion and then it becomes positive but it's a lot easier to trigger strong negative emotions than it is this trigger strong positive emotions right so what you want to create is that tension right the reason most guys stuck with girls and suck at game and I've been a half-hour conversation in nowhere is as soon as there's any tension and they're really relationship the guy's eyes away from it all right I had a student this past weekend and here's a really cool social guy like really pretty successful life good-looking could open like a [ __ ] like he was really good at opening conversations but every time I'd wing with him the conversation would go absolutely nowhere because what happen is I to introduce some of this plot line and some of this tension and get the girl kind of like you know teasing and going back and forth and then he'd immediately throw in like a bunch of small talk and like chitchat and just like squash all the tension and then a few minutes later I'd introduce some more tension and then he'd squash it a tense I'd introduce it he'd squash it would never go anywhere reason was that tension is risky that tension could get you a rejection so most guys shy away from it what you want to do is go into that tension you want to create that tension all right so anyway that's the start of plotline the idea of plotline is that you have that tension that's created between the two of you and then there's a resolution tension and resolution with a story behind it with a story she can buy into that that makes her like want to want to be with you basically think to yourself if whenever you're talking to a girl think to yourself if after this interaction she were to go talk to our friends and tell them about this interaction what would she tell them would she'd be like hey here's a guy who like wanted to [ __ ] me and I let him [ __ ] me that's not a story she wants to tell her friends but if on the other hand you be like hey you know what me and this guy we were talking and it was like like it first there was this tension and I didn't even know if I liked him and I definitely didn't like me but then actually we got to know each other and it was really good and then we like spent this magical time and we had so much in common and then like sex and it was beautiful and it just happened right that's what you want her to tell her friends right that's what she wants to tell her friends that's plot one right that's one plot line there are a lot of other plot lines you could have but that's that's a very common one right but this idea that there's a an underlying story between you and the girl is so so so so useful in game all right the other thing the plot line will do is this how many you guys have been talking to a girl you're talking about a particular topic and then at the end of that topic you're like [ __ ] we have nothing to talk about and then you bring up another topic you talk a little bit about you know that thing thinking like oh [ __ ] the conversations end you have to do something else you have to keep starting restarting and restarting the conversation it's never feel like that in game all right if you have a plotline that doesn't happen because you have those topics going on and then you have this plotline underneath so you always have a topic to go back to you always have something to say and it's productive and moves the interaction forward okay so plotline is one of the most brilliant ideas of game and that is it's something that came out with the structured can game okay cons I talked about some of these hard to escalate and hard to close very hard to close hard to recover from a loss of attention because think of it this way all you're doing is being non needy and dismissive oh I don't want you to dismissive dismissive and like even your opener it's almost accidental it's like hey I need your opinion on something but oh yeah I'm here so you may as well talk right now since everything you're doing is dismissive and I don't care and I don't need you let's say she gets distracted and pulled to the next room by her friends now you have to go into the next room and go find her me like yeah I'm not that interested in you I don't need to talk to you but I followed you all the way over here and I wanted to start the conversation again right it's very in congruence so if you ever like lose the momentum or lose the frame it's very hard to get it back next one is that people became too reliant on their routines you guys ever heard that I run out of things to say people say that nowadays people really said that with routines actually like I have my three routines and now nothing because before routines I never had a conversation with a human being before in my life right so that definitely open there was no information improvisational skill and the other thing was that you're not when you're just blindly saying things at the girl you're not paying any attention to their role so that could be a problem sometimes and then lots and lots of flaking because the amount of Attraction was so high then afterwards the girls would feel weird about it which by the way is not a knock on the style of game at all it's actually a positive on the style of game but understand that that was the case okay all right um so that brings us to direct game natural game etc which is for the most part there's there's variation but for the most part what gets taught by most people teaching pickup nowadays um an interesting thing with this is that if you look at it you guys remember the attractive man quality is where I talk about a attractiveness assertiveness assuredness attentiveness aliveness essentially direct and natural game is based on the premise that you have these qualities and then you're just gonna kind of like go put yourself in front of the girl and ask her to see them my goodness hey I thought hey I thought you were cute hey I liked you and I expect you instantly to see that I have all these qualities right and that instantly things problematic the problem with instantly is problematic is cuz they're looking at you and they don't have enough to go on right they haven't seen you do enough assertive things and attentive things and attractive things and those kind of things yet and so you get a lot of very quick rejections right one of the things I've seen in the last month more than I've ever seen before that really really annoys the [ __ ] out of me is everything it's just a numbers game it's just a numbers game it's just a numbers game everybody's [ __ ] saying that it's [ __ ] ridiculous right the point of game the point of learning game is to make it not a numbers game right anybody on the planet can have a numbers game anyone that planet can be like hi do you like me no hi do you like me no how do you like me like anybody can do that but the point of game is to to be able to convey your personality enough that by the time you've asked do you like me the answer is more likely gonna be yes that's the idea there well let's go into the the pros and cons so pros of direct and natural game and there definitely are some pros first one made escalation a lot easier okay if you've already said I like you I'm interested in you I'm attracted to you now escalation makes sense right if you were like hey hands off hands off when you touch the gross like why are you touching me you've already said hey you're cute I like you it makes sense to get physical it makes sense to make sense to take a go on instant date all the escalation makes sense and since most guys [ __ ] up an escalation making the escalation easier is a very positive thing it makes it more congruent it does force you to improvise so it does force you to as you get good at it to get rid of the idea if I ran out of things to say because you think that you can come up with your own so that's that's very good and it encouraged it it does encourage calibration because again every single set is different and so you understand that every single sets a little different you understand that you do have to adjust to the set so those are definite pros and they're definitely very huge pros in essence if I was to compare the results of the current like natural game style of game versus the old-school like structure style game here's what I'd say doing the natural style of game you will get laid more frequently but you will get laid with lower quality girls right because you'll be able you'll be able to escalate and buy more more frequently by the way I don't mean a higher percentage of sets either so you won't get laid a higher percentage of sets but you're doing more sets you're putting yourself out there faster so you'll just get to the point and get more lays right but you're gonna get laid with the girls that immediately liked you in the first like 30 seconds or a minute rather than the girls who you've got to like you or the girls that like we're a little out of your league that crew thing with the old-school like structured game you're gonna get probably laid a higher percentage of sets but your sets are gonna be much longer and more drawn out you're gonna get a higher caliber of girl but you're going to like have a lot of ones that get attracted to you and then you [ __ ] it up later so you'll be very frustrating in that way and the escalation parts can be very very difficult alright so those are the kind of the pros and cons of both so what I sort of think of in game and what I'm looking for personally in game is what I consider the Holy Grail which is the combination of the two to have the positives of the structured game and the positives of the natural game and I think that's that's what game should be it needs to be going forward so a look at looking at the cons of the natural style game it loses a lot of the good elements of structure game for example very bad for groups right why is it that nobody in here likes one person here says they're good at opening groups right worse for hotter girls right harder to get the nines and tens because you're asking them to evaluate you way too early and way too quickly in the interaction typically leaves the guy chasing here's an interesting question those of you who have gotten laid doing the natural stuff which I assume most people in here do something like a natural style game mostly yeah those who have gotten laid doing the natural style game when you do sleep with a girl does it feel like you're still chasing most of the way does that happen a lot we're like you're the one escalating her she's the one like no no no we can't or she's the one giving objections to going to your place all that kind of stuff she's the one flaking on the dates the girl of the girl definitely is not the one chasing typically with that kind of thing no no plot line is huge as well right the interactions they're flat meaning no intent right which means half our conversation or it's very obvious hey I thought you're cute I wanted to talk to you well there's not a whole lot of suspense over the fact that you want to [ __ ] her at that point right then so for that reason there's not a lot of like it just happened there's not a lot of she'll tell her friends oh I met this guy and positive things etc um so you lose the plot line very hard to measure and improve because every single interaction is extremely different how do you compare and know if you're getting better right it's very hard so basically the end result and this is what I see tons of in the pickup community is you'll get the girls that you're that are your level or slightly below a lot but I see a lot of guys running uh play counts but I see you guys running uh play counts of like sixes and sevens all right so you'll get a lot of the girls that you're supposed to get other girls you deserve to get or that a little below you and you'll be able to escalate on them because the escalation is very congruent but you won't be able to get the girl that's out of your league right you know everybody sounds like how do you get the tender like you have to become the ten no you don't you don't Reese have to convince her you're the ten right she just has to be convinced you're the ten you don't have to actually become it now if you aren't it helps of course but it's not completely necessary you should be able the point of game is get girls that you're not supposed to get okay so that's those are the cons and that's why you want that the best of both so what would the best of both look like it would look like first of all high opening consistency and immediate emotional relevance okay because here's the thing so let's talk about a little bit about direct versus indirect game what's better direct or indirect depends depends answer to everything in game depends what what's what's good about direct game cuz somebody said good cuts to the chase and a bunch of people said quiet things more assertiveness guys know what's good about directing it's shorter okay gets to the point you do get laid faster yeah you will get you will get more five-minute ladies with direct game than with indirect that's true so that sounds an indirect um and let her know you're like err within five minutes so yeah for sure so it's more to the point what else shows your more ballsy which can be good can be good for the most part at least up to a certain level okay how about it makes it easy to escalate right how about it introduces like sex and man to women topics into the conversation right from the get-go right those are the major positives of direct game because if you go in and you open direct the interactions gonna be direct it's gonna be mandalam and there's gonna be that sexual charged emotional nature more easily all right what's the downside of going direct exactly more frequent and immediate blow offs right it's high-risk high-reward right when it works it works really well but it fails more often and then indirect is this the opposite right so you're you're gonna open more consistently indirect but once you open you still have more to do you still have to bring the directness into the interaction later all right so what you'd like is it a combination of both the next thing I would say for best of both is that so in in typical structured indirect game back in the day there was long ass routines right so for example I don't know if I could still repeat exactly my routines from like 12 years ago or whatever but I had them scripted down to the point of when I delivered the store it was word-for-word the same every single time and I interrupted this story with like teases and and like nags and game moves at the exact same place every single time right it was like like literally down to the pauses the interruptions the intonations exactly the same delivery every single time right like I don't know I'll give you like a kind of a pantomime of this start of one right excuse me a new European or something actually I got to go in a minute but anyway um so this has been a long time huh so my sister got these dogs and she wasn't even have to like an 80s rock oh my god you not gonna get along I feel like an 80s rock star pop - alright and so at first like she was gonna name them like Duran and Duran but see stop looking me like that that's like the same name for both dogs I say okay so literally it's it's very structured very like scripted and like down to the the even the interruptions however it is engaging right it's fun it's interesting it's funny it's definitely hard not to react to so it has a lot of a lot of positives and that was not like the best rendition that's a 13 year old memory rendition of something I haven't done in over a decade right thank you thank you um but that's how that's how structured it was what good game nowadays probably should be is kind of what attractive guys do anyway which is they tell the same stories that have worked again they tell the same jokes that have worked they use a lot of the same lines that have worked because it's just easier it's easier not to reinvent the wheel but they're using them at the right times they're using him when it's congruent rather than just when it's forced all right and so basically we're to say it's a measurable measurable way way points basically so instead of being like word-for-word the same every single time what it should be is like act 4 act the same right event for event the same but not word for word so the same way that I said to you guys the romantic comedy thing right I said that all you guys have different romantic comedies in your minds but they're all kind of the same plotline right so if I were to write a romantic comedy would probably do is I'd start out with like here are the steps in that plot line and then I'll write in the gaps so every romantic comedy is a little different but they're all gonna hit the same way points right so what you wanna do a structure the way points but don't structure every single word the other thing is you need to be able to calibrate to the girl right so you can't just be blindly spitting words at her and here's a big one and then this is actually like if you're gonna write like of the notes you should write down from this escalation with disqualification write this one down right disqualify as you escalate if you want to escalate smoothly if you want the girl to be receptive to your advances is one of the most powerful techniques right so have you guys ever heard of the false time constraint you know it is right you know what that is that's hey I gotta go in a minute but anyway and then you sit down as you're talking what you're really doing is you're escalating sitting down while disqualifying hey I gotta go in a minute right and because you're disqualifying you're making the escalation not mean as much right or how about one move I like I'll take a grab a girl buy like the shirt of the hand I'll pull her towards me very sexy and as I'm pulling I'll be like I [ __ ] hate you right it's a verbal push away while I'm physically pulling her in what am i doing I'm disqualifying with I hate you while escalating with the physical all right or you know I have to get up early in the morning but I guess I could like you can come over for just you know a few minutes all right what am i doing inviting the girl home while I'm disqualifying right this is one of the most powerful techniques to actually escalate in a way where the girls not going to resist it and it's just something that that's used a lot in both structured and natural game but it needs to it should be a part of your game anything else yeah so these are basically the things that should be in that style of game okay and the way I want you to think of it is this I call it the winding forest path so think of structured game as is though is linear you have like open hook emotional connection physical connection close or something similar to that and it's this long drawn-out line and you think that you started at this side of the line and you have to go the entire length of the line to get to the end right instead what I want you to think of is a long winding line where you still are traveling that line but a lot of times you can take shortcuts so it's like this right so you have this long winding line but say you get to here and you can skip over that's ideal so say you walk up and start talking to girl and you have this plan of opening hooking emotional connection all kind of stuff you walk up and she's immediate like you're you're really hot well you're not gonna go through this massive disqualification process it's a massive qualification process you'd be like oh you're not so bad yourself and you're gonna just cut out all the [ __ ] in between okay does that make sense right so you you you set out with this map and you know the long winding path but you're looking for every place that you can cut off that every place you can be more efficient right and so in essence the structure of game the like the pre-scripted pre-canned all that kind of stuff it's there and it's actually it's it's a game plan in the back of your head but it's a game plan you hope to never use that make sense right even when I was doing the most structured can game my best interactions were the ones where I would do like 20 seconds of the scripted stuff and then she'd respond well and I'd just drop it all right I'd drop it and again cut way ahead or I wouldn't necessarily drop it but I'd drop like the next 10 minutes and cut into something that usually would have come half an hour later an hour later does that make sense um and so this is kind of how I want you guys to think of game these are like the combination of that structure where you have a game plan but the flexibility where you're not rigid to your game plan so I'm gonna gonna assume there's gonna be a lot of questions all right because I just dumped it just a [ __ ] ton of material on you guys I mean I was like yeah tell lots of stories alright practice makes anything better tell lots of stories watch good storytellers watch good stand-up comedians when someone else tells a good story make notes of it any good story this is like from the scripted can days but any good story is a set of bullet points right like think of think of here to tell a joke in order for a joke to work you have to hit certain criteria otherwise the punchline won't make sense right now not every story has a punchline but every story has certain elements to make it work right and so you need to think of this story in terms of at least its skeleton right think what are the elements that make this story work and if it's a good story how can it make other stories like it right so become kind of a student of stories also work on this isn't a direct answer to your question but it kind of is work on your delivery as well as the story itself right there's a take the phrase I didn't say she stole the cookies you should be able to say that like 20 different ways with 20 different meanings does that make sense depending what word you emphasize so instead of like I didn't say she stole the cookies or I didn't say she stole the cooks I didn't say she stole the cook and it says she's told the cookies right you see every little difference it changes the meaning right and you get you get much more leverage and much more use out of your delivery as well so even a bad story delivered well can actually become to a certain extent a good story um not off the top of my head the making people talk book is just good for general conversation what I'd recommend more than books is watch good stand-up comedy yeah absolutely yeah the month reason I stopped doing groups is because pickup is kind of gone mainstream the token guy that's in a group kind of knows one like when you roll up I've been called out many times in a set usually with the most beautiful guy how to be like oh if you just did a man or something along those things and they end up kind of blowing me out so that's one of the reasons I stopped doing pretty much always okay so there's a number of different things there now she's like you sure you guys don't you want to like quick quick scenario synopsis in like group theory and stuff because want that yes okay we'll do that we'll do a little group theory and we'll get to we'll get to that as part of it as well so the idea of the idea of group theory isn't that like you're gonna do like one specific type of approach or one or that you have to do like an egg in the first ten seconds or something like that the idea of group theory basically there's there's some tenants first one is you have to engage everyone to a certain extent right and that can be done in a positive or negative way but it needs to be done but there's different ways so say you see a group of people right there's really two ways to engage the group one is it going to engage the whole group at once the other is to engage one or two people in the group and then use them immediately as a catalyst to engage the rest of the group right and either one is a valid valid form of group theory so one answer to what you just said is don't engage the part of the group that has the guy in it initially right so you could always get to him very quickly but he doesn't have to be part of it so say for example you have a group like five people two girls here and then there's a guy in like maybe guy all over here if the girl that you want is in that too a lot of times you could open the to throw a little like you know teasing something there or get a little engagement there and then as soon as you have that leverage as soon as you're in the door a little bit they may owe you guys you know what wait you're trouble but anyway how do you guys all know each other does that make sense and then you get all the introductions and such and that way the dude isn't privy to like the approach itself it looks more accidental to him and he's not involved at the moment where he has leverage and you don't because here's the thing with with a group of guys right with a group of guys they were there first right and you just came up and did a cold approach so if they have a problem with you even if they're in the wrong they're in the right as far as the group goes because they have history right and so with this situation like that where you think there might be a strong objection you almost want to open accidentally right so I actually have a couple of set of openers that I call the accidental openers all right one that I'll do sometimes it'll actually like kind of like back into the group by accident like oh [ __ ] oh sorry about that hey you know what you guys are actually gonna use a seam cool hi nice to meet you as long as I'm here right because think about that right if you walk up to the group with the guy in it and the guy is you know has an objection to you the girls don't know you yet and just to appease their friends unless they like just are overwhelmed with attraction for you they're gonna probably take you aside right and it's kind of a bad strategy for him long-term so if he's always the fun hater eventually they'll just like him but that doesn't help you much right now that makes sense but if it seems accidental or at least like there's not an agenda there and he objects now he's [ __ ] weird and now he's the [ __ ] fun hater right so you want to create a situation where if he's objecting he's the [ __ ] fun hater alright and the opinion opener can work somewhat for that sort of thing but like the things that are even more accidental than that can work as well right and I actually with it I set that is clearly a guy in a girl kind of together or where I think the guys gonna be on tagging it's think I'll try and even make it accidental as opposed to even like an opinion or even in correct okay so that's that's the thing that'll work there the other thing I'll do is I will choose which part of the group to open to not open the guy first and then that way once I'm getting introduced to the guy which can still be in the first like ten seconds but at that point I at least have a little bit of leverage from the girls and I'm being introduced by them so that he can't really object right so hey meet Todd didn't think I can't be like what an [ __ ] like you know first of all you're being introduced by a friend and second of all there's nothing no cause for you to say that right so that's that's something I would do in that case so I'm watching your immediate logistics is useful and watching your timing is very very useful the other really this is a very old-school group tactic type of thing is important question is how do you guys all know each other right how do you guys all know each other and you have to ask that to someone who likes you if you ask the dude in the group how do you all know each other like I [ __ ] all these hoes alright but if you ask the girl they go yeah no we're just friends from school this guy's you know he's obnoxious whatever and then and then you're okay does that make sense um so there's a lot of finessing you can do to stop from getting that reaction if you do get that overtly negative reaction what you should do probably is be fairly like innocence and kind of just like the fun happy guy right whoa easy there killer hi didn't catch your name what was it right and just be the fun happy whatever yeah so we have we have this guy who likes to you know give everybody [ __ ] and then we have you your trouble what's your name right and just be conversational and fun but more more chatty more conversational more assertive right there's a great um sexually old-school mystery line for for opening a group where he said the frame that you want it's not sexual it's chatty right now you went and we were gonna get sexual eventually with the girl right but the initial frame you want is chatty you want to be like a little chatterbox even again I told you the story of like when I was doing group here and very very good at it and but hadn't made the transition a couple times I pulled the hottest God dates with the hottest girl but then she thought I was gay acting a little gay in the first 30 seconds is not the worst thing in the world right it's not actually the worst thing the world cuz it's like incredibly fun incredibly non-threatening and incredibly happy right you can always show that intent later one on one there's a lot of things like that you can do in terms of adjusting the vibe adjusting the the energy and just who the guy goes that was an egg like if you get defensively I didn't nag you now you you're called out right yeah I think so you have to keep it fun though so I would be more likely to go over the top with fun and energy then you go over the top with negativity that makes sense I'm one of the best one of the best is a little off topic one of the best eight mugs I've seen in a really really long time how was that as a club in Los Angeles and the guy I know who's a friend of a friend of a friend who just pick up basically there was a guy that came up and was like trying to like act like like name-drop and act like he was like someone important and get in the guy set and then the guy she goes security mr. Herman syns beat us all again right over here guys we got a tough guy guys like okay bye it's [ __ ] amazing right but he actually delivered even better than me legs is just like please I was kind of like a little antagonistic he was just super like happy and fun and whatever yeah we got a tough guy right here tough guy okay guys like [ __ ] everybody the club was looking at me back down um so in that case he's definitely out outfitting the guy but it's fun it's fun it's funny it's amusing and everybody around it like sees it and likes it right and that's what you want to be you want to be kind of the the bully who you can't dislike does that make sense because you're not even bullying you're just like you're you're just coming over the top with more fun and more positivity so the point that if anybody hates you they truly do hate fun that kind of makes sense yeah I think it does it kind of answer your question cool yeah thank you awesome yeah cool so the best answer I can give you is is it working for you then I would say keep doing it so we're going out for you all right stick with it generally I like it be care the one thing I'll say with it is this this graph right here be careful that you don't get so caught up in that frame that you miss an easy shortcut right so don't be if you're getting so into like oh I'm gonna set up with this going yourself with that guy and we're gonna enact this frame and instead the girls just into you just cut through the [ __ ] trees and like get to that later part in the game don't be so caught up in it does that make sense cuz it's a nice little it's a nice little fun game but it's a nice little way to keep things like a little bit I'm not interested but I am interested in a good way to introduce the sexuality but the problem with it is it is very indirect and it could there the introduce a lot of chaos into the set like introduces a lot of other variables and random factors and stuff like for example if you get the girl introducing herself or getting introduced to other guys a lot of times the guy who didn't do the approach but got into the conversation will suddenly be super confident and he'll be completely non needy because he didn't approach and so he's gonna have this weird advantage over you in a weird way right and so that can [ __ ] you up sometimes there's there's various sort of random factors that you're introducing we don't have to so it's cool it's fun I like it too to an extent but just be careful about making things more complicated and they have to getting too far away from directly going for what you want that make sense yep sure yeah um so I guess the best way to do is to explain a couple plot lines I use I'll tell you two plot lines that I use often okay the plot line that I'll use with a girl who's like very cute but not like stunning stunning hot or a girl who is stunning hot but just seems to like me very very early on like seems to have some level of attraction or some level of banter with mics and she's not being cold right I wouldn't do this with a girl being cold but with a girl that either seems attractive or for a girl that's just cute but not like like up there out out of my league kind of what I would do is this whole like frame of we please stop being so cute I'm trying not to like you like I'm like look just I'm [ __ ] I'm so attracted my god look I'm like I'm holding your hand now this is weird like we have to stop right so I'd actually overtly escalate and overtly show that I'm very attracted and I would even take this this role of like I'm this incorrigible sex addict almost right that like can't help himself but I'm trying really hard and so the tension comes from the fact that I'm trying to resist but there's that clear intent right so it's not completely direct contrast that's the guy's just like hey you're cute I wanted to meet you so tell me all about you and I'll try and impress you right that's much less fun much less interesting much more boring and there's no tension right right that's the second one right so that's the first one I call that one sweetie game or sex addict game right and that's a plotline that I will use when it when it's going well and I want to sexualize and really ramp things up with a girl that seems to like me or a girl that I'm pretty confident will like me with a girl that's a bit harder to get I'll do more that romantic comedies sort of plotline which is I'm not so I'm you know I'm not so into you or there's something weird about you or I'm not you know you and I aren't gonna get along some kind of push away I'll push her away first right and I'm either pushing her away this actually works better in a group because then I can have the group liking me and the group reacting to the fact I'm pushing her away but it also works one-on-one as well especially because hot girls aren't used to being pushed away so what I'll do is I'll push her away to the points where I can where I sense she doesn't want to be pushed away anymore or the point where I sense she wants a a bit of attention from me and then I'll give it to her but I'll make her work for it and so I've established a sort of a set up where she's trying to impress me to get my attention we're trying to compliment me to get my attention or hanging out around me to get my attention where I pull I turn away and she pulls me back right so I'm setting up a frame where she's chasing right and and the idea here is that I'm interested in her in a way like she's in the right category that I would normally want to have sex with but there's just something about her that I'm not feeling right she's like I'll get this one that make sense right um so that's another plot line I'll use a lot um there are a lot of other little plot lines I can here's another another fun plot line actually if you want to play with it is go up to a girl and just from the moment one act like she's your ex-girlfriend she could wait oh my god what are you doing here it's been so [ __ ] long and I see you here like of all places right I just fully act like she is your ex-girlfriend and then she's like do I know you Oh God look I know it ended badly but you don't to go that for like come on shell out like we could we could at least be friends here right and just fully play it like congruently play it and again what does that do it introduces sexuality introduces like tension it makes it much more interesting there's there's that clear barrier there's that clear we've had sex before right so there's that clear sexuality because that clear barrier of no no no I don't wanna give a like it ended badly like I'm do you even look better than last time I saw you but like it ended badly last time I just can't get my heart hurt you know again I can't do it so there's an inherent tension inherent plotline so that's another example right so rather than like try and give you like the definition of plotline I think like just illustrating examples are like the better way to do and there's hundreds hundreds of plot lines you can do but those are some examples of ones I've seen work a lot yeah questions cool yeah yeah now when that happens I also feel tension mm-hmm I don't do game probably as often as you do at this point are you also feeling the tension because I to me he was more like you have more power when you're in control you're not feeling the tension what she does doesn't ever get to the point where so I'll give you maybe a better I think I disagree with your end goal a little bit so you're in go sounds like I want to not feel the tension and have her feel the tension I think your end goal should be I want to feel the tension and I want to enjoy every minute of it so rather than the tension being a bad thing where like you're not enjoying it like when when assets going well and I'm feeling that tension I get a little bit hard in set like I get a little happy in my pants it's like seriously like I know like I'm sitting here thinking like [ __ ] I'm gonna get laid tonight right because I feel that tension I know and I enjoy it isn't like as a lot of guys are they're scared of the tension but did you know what fear and excitement are essentially the same thing right so if you go on a roller coaster are you scared are you excited right all right now if you have like a gun to your head you probably scared right but depending on the framing of things depending on the situation like that fear can be excitement that fear can be a good thing and so I think the end goal is to not to not feel it you want to feel it you want to feel a tension but you want to enjoy that tension so as the girls as a girl cuz for the girl she enjoys it a bit but it also feels like nervous and a little icky for her at the same time as enjoying it you just want to be fully enjoying it right and because of that then you can hold the tension longer and better right but you're also congruent with it because if you're too detached from the tension that banter is gonna lose its that's gonna lose its spark all right so I think the goal isn't to be completely detached like you want to be more detached than her in in a in a pure like who once you the other person more sense absolutely but I think the real goal is to just be comfortable in the tension not have it be a problem for you but to actually live with it so let's talk about implementation because probably the biggest thing that I hear from people when I tell them like oh you know you can do some structured things in game or you can implement this peace in your game or whatever he's like how do I do it without like putting myself in my head how do I do it without getting worse before I get better at cetera so that's one of the big things with a structured game have you tried to try to do everything at once you will get worse before you get better right so how should you implement it properly in terms of how do you learn at the best how do you structure your night all those kind of things so let's talk about that kind of stuff so first of all we have a way called Jerry Seinfeld method anybody ever seen the movie comedian but with Jerry Seinfeld watch that movie that's one of those move that's a movie that if this was like 10 years ago in game every single one of you would have watched because that was like the movie recommended for structured game but basically Jerry Seinfeld comedian is basically Jerry Seinfeld is is creating a new comedy routine right he's been off the road for a while he was doing his show and he decides to go create a new comedy routine he's created from scratch so he's not using any of his old material he's not using any of those safety that's just creating a complete new routine and so at first he's not that good at first he's like kind of like getting like a fast reactions and by the end of he's that he's amazing but his policy and philosophy was this he would add one or two jokes per night that's it so each night he had the things that had worked before the things that he relied on the things that were his best game so to speak his best comedy game and he would mostly do that he'd do like 90 95 percent just doing his best and then he'd had one or two new jokes at night by doing that a couple different things happen number one he can try out new jokes and see if they're good all right number two we can try out new timing and new like structuring and orders of other jokes and then number three it's constantly fresh for him so every single time he gets on stage instead of being like well I'm gonna monotonous or not Leslie repeat this thing that I've said like 20 times before it's fresh and it's new and there's a challenge all right and so it keeps them engaged at the same time right so how does this apply to learning game well if you're doing a more structured type of game instead of doing the same routines every single time or the same bits every single time or same general outline every single time add one or two little new things little new tweaks to it every single time to keep it fresh to keep it interesting if you're doing a non structured style of game which is also totally fine then I would say go out and do your non structured style of game but have one or two things that you're like I'm gonna try and say a couple push-pull lines tonight or I'm going to actively disqualify pulling the girl and see if I can get her to chase tonight right so not a bunch of things you're not gonna try and do 20 things you're not gonna be like okay today I'm gonna open open indirect I'm gonna use this line this line in this line I'm gonna make sure that like I back turn the girl three times and make sure I make her pay for my drink and I'm gonna make sure that like I get an uber not a taxi right like that's a lot okay instead one or two things and beyond that trust yourself trust yourself for wherever you are at that moment right and so that's a really good combination of practice plus performance and that's really important by the way performance in game matters everybody tell you be outcome independent [ __ ] yeah be outcome dependent the guys who say outcome independence it's [ __ ] because if your outcome independent you go for weeks and months without getting away or you just go in like self-amusing don't get a result that's gonna hurt your confidence that's gonna hurt your inner frame that's gonna hurt your perception of what you're doing in game right and so I mean in a lot of areas you could take failure failure failure failure along the way along the road to learning it wouldn't matter that much like you do a math problem wrong 20 times on the road to getting it right does really matter right but in game if you go out 20 nights in a row and just get blown out for twenty nights in a row that's not just a technical thing that's affecting you emotionally all right so the problem when I say [ __ ] outcome independence is you need to have successes along the way does that make sense so you need to have an outcome that you can achieve and you need to have you know positive feedback along the way there's a good um I actually to be fragment read this book but I've heard it summarized it's called the winner effect right the idea is basically with animals and with people if you experienced winning your body releases different hormones than if you experienced losing and those hormones encourage you to take more risks and encourage you to do more of behaviors that are lead to future winning right so along the way to learning game you don't want to be failing failing failing you want to be succeeding succeeding succeeding and so you want to a do your best each and every night you're like throw in a couple little things but do your best mostly but also beyond that you want to be setting up metrics where you can win by those metrics so if you're in brand-new it game and you're metric for success is I have to get laid you're gonna see failure failure failure failure failure if you're brand new to game and metric for success is I want to stay 30 seconds in set you're gonna see some success and then as I wanted to 30 seconds in set and throw one push-pull line you're gonna see some success right and so you need to be outcome dependent now I couldn't pendant for a result or for the girl but you need me outcome dependent for something that's a victory and that's progression to you because if you're not seeing progress you'll stop gaming and that winner effects phenomena is gonna work against you next thing you want to do in terms of your game structured backup plan okay you want to have a structure backup plan remember this remember this model remember this graph super super important okay that's what structured backup plan is so let's take the opener openers a big part of game so you walk up and my way of opening my favorite way to open is just say whatever comes in my mind right however if I get here and nothing comes in my mind hey sorry um you looked really interesting I thought I'd you know come grace you with my presence right something I've said before doesn't make sense so I have that on the back burner so my goal is to never use it if I'm gonna go out in a session I'd prefer to never say that thing absolutely prefer to never say that thing but if I get up there and I'm drawing a blank I'll say the thing okay so that's the structured backup plan or for example remember that line um you have a lot of beauties come in what are you going for your besides you looks if I'm doing well I never want to use that line however if I absolutely can't grow a girl to qualify any other way guess what's coming out and that lines coming up okay so even my suggestion would be even if you're gonna go completely on cans if you're you're completely unstructured have that backup plan that you have a couple things for every little waypoints right or here's a big one say that for example the girls do lose her attention she's dragged away by her friends that's a tough situation do you want to have to come up with like a brand new brilliant thing every single time that happens no instead have a few canned things that you can use if in win that situation arises so think of it in terms of you see those like little fire things is like break glass in case of fire that's what the routines are that's what the structure is like in case of fire break glass let's just go do your thing but when you need it it's good to have it there when you're flustered and everything hits the fan it's good to have a back-up plan how do you run your night a lot of people say this thing about you want to go out for like the first you know hour or two of the night and just like bounce around the club you're not gonna get a result anyway and then other people will say like you want to go hard from the first set um so the question is this when should you stay in an interaction and when should you leave how do you know and here's the model I have in my head it's an idea from pokhara is called expected value right and we're going to do this it's a little mental exercise for you guys I'll ask you what is your expected value for a night or your expected value for like a day game session or whatever right so on average if you go out to a club or you go out in the daytime how many numbers you're gonna get what what quality of a girl are you gonna pull on average and with what percentage chance right what is your average result ask yourself that okay and this would be different for everybody in this room then as you're talking to a girl and when you ask yourself is my average result from talking to this girl higher or lower in my average result in the night that's it that's the criteria for if I stay or if I leave so for example for me I expected value model my head is if I'm gaming and going hard and like trying to get a result I would say I have like about an eighty eighty five percent chance of pulling a girl who's like an eight or better right which you know not like not a you know Victoria Secret model every night but like a girl that if you saw her in a magazine you wouldn't be like what the [ __ ] are you doing here right so pretty good chance of pulling a pre Agra that's if I'm going hard I'm going for a result and I have like proper like situation for me okay no given that if I'm talking to a girl who's like a seven and she's giving me some [ __ ] do I feel really inclined to stay and like try and like grind it out and like turn her around and make her like me know hey if I see a girl who's like my personal ten and she's giving me some [ __ ] do I feel inclined to grind it out and turn around to make her like me absolutely yes if I see a girl who if I'm with a girl who's an eight and it seems to be pretty on am I pretty inclined to stay there absolutely does that make sense so I'm looking at my expected value for the night my expected value in this set and that's what's gonna make that decision for me right and that's what's gonna create the game plan and then we'll get to this a little bit later so we talked about developing your own style that's gonna be the kind of last slide and that's gonna kind of I'll talk to you guys a lot about that but um your expected value is also gonna come down to what style of game you're doing right are you doing shotgun game we're just gonna go up to hey you like me no hey do you like we know how'd you like me yes let's go home that's gonna have one expected value whereas another type of game is where you're trying to finesse it and get like maybe the hottest girl or like turnaround the ones that don't like you so that's gonna change things too depending what style you're doing but essentially that's the idea of how long you should stay and how you should structure a night is that expected value model okay does that make sense so what do we have so far so when you go out mostly you want to be doing your best right most nights you want to be doing your best however you want to throw in one or two different things and then in any given set and in the night you're thinking expected value model what's my expected value from the set what's my expected value from the night one last week on the expected value model is that as the night gets long later or as you have less time left in your day game session your expected value goes down right because you have less time to get a hot girl so if my expected value was 85% get an eighth or whatever then like if it's gone to the last hour of the night and I haven't taken a girl home maybe like you know a seven and a half star to look pretty good right or maybe an eight that's giving me a little more [ __ ] I'm more willing to grind it out and stick to stick in there rather than like leave and go find greener pastures does that make sense because the expected value outside of that set has gone down so that that factors in as well but that's kind of what I'm thinking and the great thing here is that it's not it doesn't allow for a lot of excuses it doesn't allow for a lot of you getting in your own way it doesn't allow for that mental masturbation of oh oh she's not thinker or oh you know I'm just not not feeling it out of state or whatever it's just simply like is this good is this good this is where I stay and then once you've made the decision to do it you're just walking to your best no excuses alright there's no excuses do your best because you've chosen you've chosen this is the right decision so there's no choice from there just do your best in that decision next idea of why I suggest having some structured things as backup is what I call freeing up mental RAM right if you have to spend all your time and energy coming up with exactly what you want to say all the time that's really tough that's really tough that's very engaging if you have things you've said before that you can throw in here and there it allows you to save the thing and kind of on autopilot and in the back of your head be thinking where you're at right it's something as well like something I learned kind of from public speaking as well it's like if you give like I've done speaking tours where I give the same speech in various cities like to the point where by the by the last city on the tour I know all the punchlines right because I've said it and funny enough like what you have to be careful of it getting stale at that point but the great thing is that it allows you to like look at the audience and see the reactions and add new things and nuances into the speech because you don't have to worry about what you're gonna say next you can kind of let that run on autopilot all right sube pretty good and then what you want to be doing is focusing on her right and again what's the goal in terms of 90/10 rule only as long as you have to write write only as long as you have to and then the goal is what 90/10 the other way if possible right you want her buying and you want her contributing you want her qualifying etc etc get her to game you right so that's the goal so in order to get her to game you you need to be paying attention to her you'd be seeing is she ready to game is she liking this is she not liking this is this working what is her blueprints all those various types of things right so once you free up that mental realm you can pay attention that if you're thinking oh god what's the next thing I'm gonna say that takes a lot of mental energy um one of the actually interesting questions that I get a lot because my game tends to be very technical right so a lot of guys asked me like so I do it in field breakdown I'm like I'm thinking this and this and this feel like are you really thinking all those things when you're doing the breakdown like when you're in the set and what's the answer yes yeah yes you've heard the answer before right so yeah yes I am thinking those things but I'm not thinking the basics I'm not thinking how do I ask Olay because I've escalated so many times I'm not thinking what's the next step between the club in my home because I planned that out before going out so I don't have to make it up on the spot right so I've done a lot of my homework ahead of time so that I have the freedom to be thinking in all those details I'm so freeing up mental Ram is another thing you want to be thinking of in terms of all that intent versus freedom of outcome it's like a lot of people have this paradox right showing intent versus being free from outcome how do you solve that right because if you're free from outcome then you're non needy and that's attractive but if you show intent you're gonna get to the points and you're gonna get sexual you're not gonna have the half hour conversation in nowhere right so how do you how do you kind of work those two together and the solution is this first of all you're never gonna be free from outcome don't try to be free from outcome don't try instead pick a good outcome pick an outcome that you're getting control of and pick any outcome that she would be okay with so if your outcome is I want to have an amazing conversation with you and connect with you and maybe something will happen right that's not an agenda outcome that's not an outcome that's like meteor weird or whatever what you say when you what reset outcome oh when you reach that outcome well then you have a new one right so you had that amazing conversation and then now my outcome is because it's amazing I want it to be to a deeper level amazing which is me going deep inside of her hey don't make sense right you can you can it's it's kind of like um maybe if you're playing sports right like you may have a goal to like make a certain team and then once you make that team you have a goal to win the championship once you win the championship you have a goal to make this other team then you know so you're gonna progress as soon as you hit one goal there's always the next goal right but what you want to have each step along the way is an outcome that you have some control over so that it's not this needy thing where your alliance on other people and one that's that's positive so you're not at odds with the world but you're like in in partnership with the world or with the people you're with does that make sense right and because those are ones that are gonna be less opposition so don't try and be out come free try and pick good outcomes and then be very intent for for those outcomes what about self-amusement versus having structure and direction this is an interesting one because a lot of people like well if I have is like structure then it's like so binding and how am I give yourself amuse also isn't self-amusement attractive right that's actually interesting question who here things that self-amusement attractive well kind of it is a little bit it is a little bit here's what's attractive about self-amusement if I'm willing to be amusing myself I clearly am NOT super needy about the reaction right so it shows a lack of agenda if I'm willing to be self amusing it shows that at times in the past when I've been a little bit self amusing I've probably received a decent response does that make sense so in that sense it's attractive however being too self amusing if you're violating social rules if you're saying awkward things if you're being so a lot of people do self-deprecating self-amusing like they make fun of themselves stuff amusing that's actually conveying a lot of negative things and that's not going to help you so self amusing per se isn't attractive but the the attitude of self amusement can lead you on average to doing more attractive things that kind of make sense um so here's what I think of though in terms of like being self amused while having structure in your game first of all if you're bored with telling a story don't tell it right you don't have to tell the story just because it worked before you don't have to tell a joke cuz it worked before you do have to use a line cuz it worked before use what you want to use right that said it doesn't hurt to have those solutions in the can anyway right you can always have them and not use them that's number one number two and this is the the last two two and three here become fascinated by a game and then self engagement this is how I have stayed kind of always self amusing game alright I think of myself as a student of the game I think of myself as like almost like a researcher of game and like I look at the game itself as beautiful like if I say something to grow and I watch her reaction it's a little bit different that's like a little miracle of nature to me alright it's a new like little revelation right and I'm fascinated by it I'm truly truly fascinated by it or when I when I want to go try some new like line or try some new thing or a new idea in game I can't wait I can't I'm like oh my god it's like Christmas morning get to try this new thing and see the reaction right cuz I'm actually I'm fascinated by the girls but I'm fascinated by the game itself right and because of that I'm always not self amused but self engaged right I'm always present and I'm always engaged in what I'm doing I'm oh I'm always focused and I'm always you know I'm always there and so that idea of self amusements especially for like introverted guys like self-amusement to me is a little weird like I don't walk around like oh yeah like I'm not I'm not a big bouncy laughing like clown center of attention type of guy naturally right so I'm not naturally like mr. amused anyway but what I am is I'm very focused and engaged right in the same way that like if you're reading a good book you'll be very zoned in and very focused but it's not this like loud crazy thing but you're engaged right in the same way if I'm doing if I'm talking to a girl I'm just very engaged and very fascinated by her alright so I say get rid of the words self-amusement they can turn into self engagement okay um okay now this is probably the next couple slides are probably the biggest thing in terms of merging the two styles of game how many people here have either watched or done improvisational comedy a couple people okay watched it how many who have done it couple okay cool I highly recommend it like of all the things you can do outside of game to make your game better improvisational comedy is probably the single best one you can do okay um but so what you want to look at in terms of game in the structure don't think of it in terms of room right I did this thing where I stood gave you my kind of my pickup routine from 13 years ago and it's like word-for-word interruption for interruption don't think that way and did think about waypoints think about different things are going to happen between the girl I'm gonna walk up and where I start a conversation there's gonna be some sexual tension and some pushing away going on we're gonna resolve and aside we like each other but not completely I'm gonna seem a little hard to get and like high-value but I'm gonna get to know her I'm gonna structure a way for us to go home right that's gonna happen in every interaction that make sense and so I'm thinking how do I get to the next point but I'm not thinking what's all the material in between right and the best example I've ever ever seen of this is from improvisational there's a for an improvisational comedy show when I was taking classes there's this like structure it's called like a herald but basically what you're gonna do is you're gonna go out on stage and you're gonna player on some ideas and they're gonna do three scenes about those ideas and there you do some random scene that that plays on those three then you can do three more scenes about those ideas and then you're gonna do a random scene then they give you one scene that brings it all together and that like makes this very cohesive very interesting show now going in every single time I'll watch a show I know exactly how it's gonna go scene by scene I know the plotline all right that's plotline but I have no idea what any of those scenes are gonna be about I have no idea what word the audience is gonna shout out I have no idea who's gonna be in any of those scenes right but I know every single one what comes next what comes next what comes next and so knowing that gives me like if I'm performing gives me safety and the ability to like take risks because I know that there's always this structure to fall back on does that kind of make sense and think of it the same way in game right so it's not like I'm gonna say this one line and in this story and then this line and then the story and then this line instead it's there's gonna be this dynamic between me and the girl and then after that there's gonna be this dynamic and this dynamic and this dynamic and because I know those next steps it gives me the the liberty to try things and take risks because I know where to bring it back if they mess up and I know those risks are risks that are moving in the right direction instead of the wrong direction is that kind of make sense so that's the way I look at game is rather than look at it as like a stand-up comedy where everything is planned out a look at has improv comedy where the structure is very very planned out but the content is completely free right and then even within that though with the improv comedy analogy you still learn skills for all that structure right so you may learn to do voices and that makes you better at that structure you may learn to pantomime and that makes you better at that structure and improvisational comedy in game you learn to do push-pull that makes you better you learn how to qualify a girl you learn how to read our blueprint it makes you better so it's all coming down to this structure and then you're learning the skills to fill in that structure and again every single set just like any improv show every single one is completely different but they're also all completely the same because that underlying structure and the base techniques you're you are the same every single time does that kind of make sense right and at any point if you're lost you have a repertoire to fall back on okay so let's talk about finding your own style how do you find your style in games we've talked about well how many different styles again we talked about the you know the attractive characteristics you talked about the double your dating stuff speeds deduction stuff structured game three different like two like two and a half different forms and unstructured kind of natural style game how do you find your own style of game alright first thing I would say is imitate before you innovate alright so learn what works learn from people that have done things before and don't just try things randomly try things from people that work so for example if you guys have seen some of my infield and like you think that what I'm doing is good and you'd like to do it be more likely to try something that you've seen me do then something completely random now that does not mean to treat me as an absolute guru it doesn't mean that just because I said something you should say it or just because I did something you should do it especially without understanding the context alright there's one that I remember there's um a video I put out a long time ago where I was running up to the girl and she was like being very hard to open and I said like why I've never burned this many calories to talk to a girl before as I'm like running up next to her right and in that context it made total sense it works really well then I had a program where I had a student come in and that was his default opener he just run up to the girls be like wow I've never burned this many calories and talked to a girl before right which one is completely out of context and doesn't make sense half the time but - it's actually inherently needy unless she's already been like obnoxiously hard to open right and so it fundamentally was was wrong and then he said I got that from you no you didn't you didn't get that from me because that's not how I did it alright so imitate stuff you see from me I'm gonna say you stuff you see from other guys that are that that seem to be doing well but don't be blind the end result like the end judge of any technique is you that make sense you are the end decider if it works if it's worked for every single pick-up coach in the world and it doesn't work for you put on the back burner or something to maybe try again later but as long as it's not working for you don't [ __ ] do it okay does that make sense so imitate but imitate with intelligence imitate and try it and see if it works for you and see if it's can grow up for you because different people do have different different styles of game and then what's going to happen once you've imitated enough things you'll start innovating you'll start coming up with your own things that are the similar structure to the things that it works so I'm gonna say before you innovate and then the biggest thing I say is your style should get you to your goal I'm not gonna use names right now if said I want to name-drop different pick up guys but every single guy who I know who's good in pick up they have different outcomes in mind from pick up and their structure and their strategy gets them their outcome right so for example I know one guy who just wants get laid a ton it doesn't really care very much about the quality and so he has kind of a shotgun method he's willing it at the first sign of any kind of like resistance or rejection to be like [ __ ] next and whatever and he's very polarizing very abrasive and it works very well for him alright other guys want only the hottest girls and they don't care about anything less than a 10 and so they're willing to stay in a set from very very long times and try really really hard they're willing to do a lot of like homework before the set get social proof on their side do things like that and that works well for them but they don't don't get quite as much volume right and that's their style that works for them I know one guy who's really good and pick up who actually probably cares more about how much he can get away with then he cares about actually getting laid and so he has a style that's all about getting away with a lot of [ __ ] right and that works for him okay the point is that whatever your style is should help you get your goal so in order to determine your style the first thing you need to ask yourself is what's your goal what is it you actually want about game and this is something that I've said this many events and I guarantee people don't do this what is it you actually want what are you getting game for what is your end result do you want lots of girls or do you want one special girl do you want to have lots and lots of sex with lots of girls or do you want to just have sex you know every now and again with girls then you think are a little more special right do you want to have multiple long-term relationships or do you wanna have serial monogamous relationships do you have a particular ethnicity or body type that you like right do you want your girls educated or do you not give a damn right there are all these different things all these different factors and they matter because it's going to determine a lot in your game so the first step in what your style is what type of girl do you want next step in what's your style is what type of interaction do you want do you like really like super charge like super flirty sexual interactions some guys do some guys get nervous about that they don't like it or do you like really like wordy kind of talk talk talk kind of interactions or you really spend your time and get to know a girl some guys really like that if you want really sexually charged interactions should you a more direct or more indirect probably a little more direct if you want really conversational interaction should go more indirect and more direct more indirect right and along with that next question is what are you best at are you best at conversations or are you best at that flirty stuff right so all of this is going to play in however whatever style you choose there are gonna be certain elements that I think are always going to be the case okay number one you're going to have to continuously implement trial and error you might have to continuously take what you're doing tweak things try things learn so whatever style you adopts you have to be able to do that you have to be able to learn and grow okay whatever style you adopt you're gonna have to hit those three trigger points that I talked about you're gonna have to have access you're gonna have to have attraction you're gonna have to have follow-through so make sure that whatever style you have takes care of all those right most likely if you're talking about a style where you're meeting strangers as opposed to like a social circle style you're probably going to have to lead with some level of like attraction and then follow it with some kind of comfort right that's probably a given right whatever style you you'd adopt there has to be some congruence about your closing all right whatever style you adopt there probably has to be a plot line right there has to be some kind of a plot line or a narrative so these elements are always gonna be the case whatever plot whatever style you adopt it's going to help you if you have a few canned things you can go back to but whatever style you adopt it's going to help you if you're not so structured you can't pay attention to the girl right so these Conte's these elements are always gonna be the case but your particular style is gonna be uniquely your honor and it all starts with what do you want and who you are and then it starts with understanding all of these styles and knowing how to implement them okay so with that said I wouldn't say that all of you can like go snap your fingers and go have a perfect game style but I would say hopefully you guys have learned a lot about what the different styles are you've learned a lot about what the elements that make games successful are and hopefully you have all the tools now as you go take action to go learn and implement a style that will work well for you I would tell myself two things I would say I would say one never stop learning like never get arrogance and think you know it all because there are definitely periods where anybody and when there's an established kind of style of game that everybody is doing it's very easy to think it's all been discovered it hasn't a lot of B that's nothing I've heard a lot lately Oh everything in games been discovered oh no it hasn't not even close okay so one thing that I would tell myself is a twenty already knew I didn't know [ __ ] but like I would tell myself no matter how much you eventually think you know [ __ ] you still don't know [ __ ] so that's one and the other thing I would be saying is never forget how fun this is never forget how fun this is because for me in particular having done game as a profession there definitely are times where I can feel like work like you're dealing with a frustrating student or like when you when you have to leave a hot girl to go teach like the harbor wants to go home with you have to go back to go teach your genetics are like screaming at you like your genes are like what the [ __ ] are you doing to me Todd but it's good to keep in perspective that game really is fun game really is beautiful and there are times over my gaming career that I've fallen in and out of love with game and I can tell you even even when your results aren't as good being in love with game and having fun is better than being out of love and getting better results but that's that thank you guys so much for coming out [Applause] you

Channel: Todd V Dating

Views: 601,076

Rating: 4.154788 out of 5

Keywords: manifesto, todd valentine, direct, indirect, canned, routines, natural, pickup, dating, intent, mystery, david de angelo, double your dating, mystery method, the game, speed seduction, ross jeffries, making people talk, style

Id: iz9d4AV7WvA

Length: 122min 51sec (7371 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 02 2017