How Women Choose Who They Have Sex With

yep okay so it would be nice i used to have this view of the world that like the girl goes with the guy she's meant to be with and if you have a good enough connection things will work out and that kind of stuff in reality it doesn't work like that right um i'll tell you for example from traveling right so many times you're traveling you meet a girl it's amazing you go out of town you come back whatever and you're you know even you're talking to her you get to know her whatever and you have you're the you're the amazing i call like the i'm the foreign filet mignon and then they have like the local like horse meat right that they end up like they have some local [ __ ] boyfriend instead right and it's not because you know he's better for her or he's higher value than you it's because he's there it's because he's convenient right and so many times in my game i've well early on in my game i would lose by having these like great sets and great connections and then just taking a number and then some other guy is there at the end of the night takes her home and your number is forgotten when she sleeps with some other guy and then as i've gotten better in game i was that other guy all right as i've gotten better in game i've had so many sets where the girl spends all night with some guy really really likes him and then for whatever reason doesn't work out i'm their bipolar right i've had girls that liked me to the ends of the earth and just didn't work out for whatever logistical reason friends [ __ ] i've had girls that absolutely did not like me at all um and then we ended up having sex um circumstance matters and really the key thing is this it's not that like getting able to like you more and more and more more and more is what's going to do it for you there's a threshold there's i like this guy enough to sleep with him and then if she likes you enough to sleep with you you're in a category with every other guy she likes enough to sleep with and if you're the one that's in front of her at that moment that is of that category she'll sleep with you all right and i mean i can i can tell you so many stories that will make you just like maybe disgusted with women that'll make you maybe distrust women right so many stories about like [ __ ] you want a story here's a story okay so i'm out teaching a one-on-one bootcamp uh with a student and um i'm running a set um but i i mostly want the student to to do approaches and learn that kind of stuff so i'm doing a demo just so happens it's going really really well um but girl has to go to the bathroom um like legitimately her bladder is full has to go to the bathroom so i took the student a bit and he's like okay let's go do another set and then debrief and do some more sets etc so i'm like okay cool let me go grab this girl's number so i go grab the girl's number um just because you know she was hot and she liked me and as i'm getting the number she's kind of like oh don't go stay around and then she like pulls me over and makes out with me i'm like [ __ ] well i don't want to go now but i still go i still just take her i'm like listen i gotta go with my with my client whatever so um i bounce we go do a debrief and then afterwards it's kind of like right at the end of the night i'm like you know what i'm gonna go back to that bar and just see right the student's still with me he's like do you mind if i go with you i'm like yeah you can go with me but i'm gonna tell you right now there's most like you think you're i'm gonna go back and just because she's like me she's gonna be waiting for me or something like that i'm gonna tell you right now probably like like 60 she's gone 30 she's making out with some other dude 10 she's there and like available i'm just telling you that's like the ratio right so we go back and she's making up with this like massive like like massive jacked black guy and um so i'm basically i'm like see i told you all right um so i go back in and i basically like pull her straight off the black guy and start making out with her and this guy's like [ __ ] pissed he's livid it's a really hard situation because he's with a friend as well and his friend is like has really good game too and his friend is with her friends and they like each other so i'm getting all this [ __ ] of like the other friend running interference the girl running interference but the girl seems to have chosen me right so looks all good eventually the dude tells his friend um to just like back off and like it's not going to happen for him et cetera so it looks like we have this pull but then the guy's kind of like butt hurt and an obnoxious and whatnot he's like i find you guys and go but just like walk me to my car first and he's like stalling and dragging and whatnot he knows he doesn't have a chance but he's just like he's like you know he feels like [ __ ] obviously um and he's kind of kind of dragging it out and then as we are um we're like right there about like we're about to maybe be able to get rid of him and i've been kind of babysitting the girl the whole time walking with whatever and there's this moment where i can finally get rid of the guy and i'm like i go over to just talk to him and just like get him out of the set in that like 30 seconds that i go whatever get the guy out of set um there's some guy that's been like texting this girl like all evening texting calling whatever and he's been she's been kind of ignoring um because she was busy with making out with me making out with the other guy whatever um anyway she picks up the phone for this guy now all right and it turns out this is i find this out later but it turns out this is a guy she's actually she's had sex with before they've had they have something of a relationship and by sheer dumb random chance turns out he's like three blocks away from her and she just happens to tell him her location so now she's in the situation where it's super awkward if she doesn't meet up with him and so now like i you know end up getting getting pulling some shenanigans getting her isolated whatever but this guy keeps texting and keeps calling and she's unwilling to give up the like the relationship with a guy she's already hooked up with because she has whatever emotional connection there and eventually doesn't go down for me right so after all that nothing all right now granted there's a lot of better ways i could run that like i could have just if i wasn't with a student i could just stayed in the first place and pulled her in the first place without all the [ __ ] but just think about the night that girl had right think think about like what has to have gone on like in terms of that girl's identity in order to like go through all that or what like like oh [ __ ] this guy or this guy or this guy you know whatever all right like legitimately like she was gonna [ __ ] somebody right um so as much as we'd like to think that it's all like did you do the best game you know good [ __ ] can happen good [ __ ] can happen being the right situation batshit can happen from from just being wrong place wrong time all right i've had other girls [ __ ] i mean here's another one that that uh i mean it's it's not a pretty factor but it's it's a fact of life um i can't tell you how many times there's you have really good game and she really likes you but she's with friends and there's some guy or group of guys that have an after party or have drugs or have a connection and they go with them because not because they're hotter than you not because the girl likes you more but because her friends drag her for the drugs or maybe the girl [ __ ] just likes drugs you know what i mean like different things there's so many shitty shoddy [ __ ] up things that can happen in game what you're really doing is you're putting yourself in the best possible circumstance for things to go your way right and you can make moralistic judgments you absolutely can you can say like oh i don't want a girl if she would ditch me for you know her friends that are going with guys with drugs and to be fair maybe that's a fair point um and in terms of if you're looking for like the mother of your children that may be a very fair point but in terms of if you're playing the game you know to hook up if you're playing the game for winning two night um there's a lot that goes on with that and even a situation like so that's that's night game and there's a lot more more chaos but even a situation like day game right so in the moment in the moment when she's hanging out with you she really really likes you in that moment she has good emotions flowing through her body it makes sense she's feeling romantic thoughts she wants to hang out with you right now she goes and gets her luggage well now she's hanging out with a friend and that would be awkward to leave the friend also as a guy friend you don't even know what their history is there might be a history there that you you don't know about that would make it extra awkward or maybe even their you know they're an item right even beyond that even if it was a girlfriend or something like that knew she's got her luggage she's leaving town in a couple days after a couple hours sorry and she has to justify to herself okay well i'm leaving town in just a couple so if i go do this it's purely a one-night stand if they go do this one night stand or not even once one afternoon stand right one one hour stand right if i go do this like that changes my perception of myself right there's no possibility this so maybe she's just not down for it at that point so there's so much that can change there's so many things that can go wrong um and yes following the girl is a little bit needy but losing the girl and like isn't having her out of your sight out of mind that kind of stuff is just not functional it doesn't functionally work right and here's a thing i want to tell you guys so i hear this from guys so often right here this this idea of like oh i don't want to be needy right if i follow her it will be needy if i don't let her go will that be needy um worrying about what's needy is one of the neediest things you can possibly do okay if you're sitting there worrying about a behavior being needy that's incredibly needy you know what's not needy what's not needy is saying you know what i'm gonna go with her and even if it makes me look lame i trust that i'm cool enough that my presence is gonna make things better right because it's very easy in game to have this mentality of like oh if i'm scarce if i don't text her back then i'm high value right you know what's actually high value is being high value it's being a high value guy when she interacts with you right if your value is coming from your absence that's difficult because it's hard to have sex with a girl in your absence okay all right you need to figure out a way to have value in your presence you need to trust yourself for that and you need to believe that if you're there to solve the problem good things will happen even if you've lost a lot of value even if it's been needed even if it's been weird even whatever okay and sometimes it's not fair i'll tell you guys another another field report there's another like [ __ ] up field report um it had a good ending but [ __ ] up field report so this is when i was in vegas um i was talking to a really hot girl she had a friend says two girls and i had um a wingman on her friend and in fact there were a couple wingmen on her friend i had one guy winging she didn't like him had another guy winging and they seemed to be okay together but then eventually her friend's like we gotta go to the bathroom right and so not being worried about being needy we went with them to the oh yeah the bathroom's over here we'll walk you over we walk them over to the bathroom they go to the bathroom i go to the bathroom too because i told you guys make sure that your bladder's on the same schedule as her right and then um we're outside of the bathroom and we just talk to some like random people and make it look like we're not just creepily waiting around also the fact that i'm with my friend makes it better so i can talk to him right so she comes out and they're in the bathroom for a while which means they're talking all right and this that's been really good i think at this point i'd already made out with my girl i'd screamed her for if she's down and it was like all the indicators were there she was basically super down right we come out but instead of coming and joining me and my friend she walks straight the [ __ ] past us right so i grab her i pull her over okay what's up and then she she says hey listen um my friend isn't into your friends um you better you better have another guy if you want to be if you want to stay in the game all right which is funny if you think about it because first of all she basically said like i want you to sleep with me and this is how to do it right and also you have to understand she was just in the bathroom for this long ass time so you know that the debate in there was like i want to go home with these guys no [ __ ] way i want to go home with these guys no [ __ ] way right so that was the debate um so in any case at this point i was like okay so what's your friend's type right what kind of guy does she like um because i was on an immersion program and i had a lot of a lot of options available to me right and she told me a type and so i knew about three guys who were that type so i texted all three of them meet me at this place and i just hoped that one of them would be there and then i walked her and walked them through the club to this place now this was like a crazy like packed crowded like oppressively loud club we're like we're getting bumped we're getting drinks spilled on us as we're walking through the club the bouncers telling us move it along is really like an egregious experience so i'm i'm keeping them together going through this no fun at all and meanwhile her friend is like annoyed with my friend even being there because i i haven't told him like you know it's not going to work out for him yet and so she's annoying after trying to keep them separated a little bit so she doesn't get so annoyed she drags her friend away so eventually i get into this heroic task to get them all the way to the other side of the club when i do get there thankfully my friend is waiting for me one of the three right and then i introduce her to him i explained to the other guy really quick sorry that's not not my doing but it just isn't going to work out for you and then they actually hit it off right so i'm like yes this is good i think there's there is a god right um and then something very interesting happens the girl i was talking to flips 180 degrees and totally hates me and she starts being like [ __ ] you you're so like you're still like possessive and weird just like there's something very try hard about you it's like you're ruining my vegas vacation can you just be normal it's like i didn't come here to have a boyfriend i came here to party right she just gets like really really like weird and awkward about everything um and so um and so basically she's just like completely flips on me turns 180 degrees etc um and the question is why what happened here huh [Music] exactly right so i had been this guy that wasn't try hard i was this guy that she she couldn't have i was aloof i was non-needy she was chasing me then she told me hey if can you find a friend from my friend and i did it right but the fact that i went to that much effort to get a friend for her friend well i must have really wanted to [ __ ] her alright so now i'm like this try hard guy i'm like this possessive guy i'm like all these all these negative things right and so she literally screamed at me and gave me [ __ ] for like probably 20 minutes and then meanwhile she'd like pull other guys next to her at the bar and start like talking to them and flirting with them to try and like make me jealous slash get rid of me and so like when the guy was like lame i would just like look at her and just laugh at her and be like this guy whatever when the guy was kind of cool i would actually get slightly possessive and be a little bit of a dick to him and just enough of a way to get rid of him and then she'd get more pissed off at me but at least he'd be gone um i said this out for about 20 minutes and then thankfully at the end of all this my friend and another girl were hitting it off and the other girl had a seen me be amazing in the first place b had heard how much the girl liked me in the bathroom when she was trying to like get pulled by me and then she had seen all the [ __ ] that was going on and how i like stayed on phase by it and also now she had an agenda where she wanted to go with my friend and she looks like are you [ __ ] stupid this guy's amazing come on shut the [ __ ] up we're going and just grabs her friend and basically pulls her for me and then once we've left the club like everything got normal again sex was had by all it was good right um but that's [ __ ] crazy that's [ __ ] crazy right and i was the same per well i'm technically in her eyes i here's the thing and her eyes i wasn't the same person anymore right because she saw me as one way and then she saw me as another way so literally for her i wasn't the same person but it's crazy how one little thing can completely flip it and so here's what i want you to think about right when you think about a girl likes you you think it's a static thing or either she likes you or doesn't like her she's like if she likes me enough she should like me now she should have accountability right do you ever see the movie as good as it gets yeah there's a great line in that movie all right so this guy's a an author and there's this like feet girl fan female fan and she goes how do you write women so well as an author he goes well i think of a man and i take away reason and accountability right um it's kind of that way kind of a little that way in the moment right um is the thing is the girl doesn't like you period she likes you if okay she likes you if you do everything right she likes you if you know how to get her home without making her feel [ __ ] she likes you if you know the right way to escalate on her to make it feel good for her as soon as any of those things is no longer true she doesn't like you if anymore you see that so her liking you is very conditional it's not like guys were like oh she's hot i like her oh she's hot i want to sleep with her oh she has this like resume where i can brag to my friends about i want her right for the girl that's much more about the experience it's much more about the social feedback those kind of things and so her liking you are not liking you is very variable it can change moment to moment to moment and if you're in her presence and can manage that and control how that goes you have a good shot as soon as you're out of her presence you have no control over how that changes from moment to moment right and also like say your situation right a girl likes you she goes gets her suitcases gets in a different state of mind whatever she's viewing you differently because she's not in that same emotional state or maybe she's looking at the moment it's like oh it's so magic it's just like just happened this guy was so spontaneous and ballsy right and then later on when she's in a slightly different state the baldiness becomes try-hard he was so ballsy because he was so try-hard or maybe it was like i was chasing him so hard and then later on it's like he didn't even care about me at all it's just a slightly different narrative of the same fact because there's different emotions flowing through her right so understand that there's no like if she liked me enough the girl likes you if right simple as and that's even that's even kind of true in relation the longer the the relationship the more history you have the more you know the more the girl really actually knows and and is responding to the real you but even in a relationship right in a relationship as long as it's going well you're like you know you're superman and he-man and the most like stand-up amazing nice good guy as soon as you you lose value in her eyes or as soon as she wants to be with somebody else or as soon as the relationship's on the rocks now all of a sudden you're like evil and awful and whatever right you're the same facts it's the same facts for six months a year three years five years but when the emotions are different the interpretation of those facts is completely different right so don't think that like girls liking you as this static thing girls like you if they like you if you continue to be that person they like you if the right emotions are they like you if you're the best option for them right and on one hand that's kind of [ __ ] up on another hand it's kind of amazing right it's kind of [ __ ] up because it means that what you have you could lose so quickly on the other hand it means that um one you can meet girls so easily just by being amazing right you can step up and be better than their other options and two it's kind of an interesting thing because it forces you to be your best self right it's actually it's almost like girls are this like this force in the universe like forcing you to step up because if you don't step up they will punish you if you do step up they will reward you all right it's it's kind of kind of cool in that way um but the key thing to keep in mind though is is that they like you if they don't like you unconditionally and you really want to be in their presence because as long as you are present you can control the narrative you can control the situation you're in charge of things and you can make things go well as soon as you're as soon as they're out of sight as soon as they're not around things will just naturally go against [Music] you [Music] you

Channel: AskToddV

Views: 260,788

Rating: 4.8687115 out of 5

Keywords: women, cheating, hypergamy, tug of war, sexual selection, sex, boyfriend, pull, girls, girl, woman, value, comfort, connection, cheat, girlfriend

Id: -bRy8XlRTDQ

Length: 19min 23sec (1163 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 05 2018