How to Stand Up to a Bully--Literally | Communication Skills Training for Difficult People At Work

hi everybody this is Dan O'Connor and I have a tip for you for the next time you're dealing with an aggressive hostile workplace bully communication training standard remember that most of the time when we are communicating in person most of the communication is going to be instinctive it's going to be visual it's going to be body language it's going to be the tone and our voice not necessarily the words in fact under normal circumstances if you watched my other videos you might know this what percentage of the message that we send on an in an in-person situation is visual or body language percentage if you said 55 you are right normally most of the message that we send is nonverbal is physical body language and bullies will instinctively pick up on the signals that you are sending more than anything else and what a bully tends to do when they're coming up to people in a hostile aggressive way is they're not approaching people to resolve an issue or to actually confront people from beginning to end at that moment a bully will test you before they will actually confront you for example at work most bullies will let say that you're sitting at your desk and a bully just went to the fridge to go stuff their face with their you know ham sandwich and it wasn't there and so they're gonna they've had kind of a thing for you and so this is going to be test number one in front of everybody so they come up to your desk and they say hey did you eat my sandwich you will notice that a bully stance is very naturally going to be shoulders open chest forward head nodding forward coming straight at you go what is the average person do when that happens when they see this person coming at them what is the average person do they lean back they'll cross their arms they might even look away but the average person will not do this remember the next time you're confronted like that lean forward chest up eyes wide head nod forward remember the average person tends to lean back they tend to look away they tend to shy up their shoulders go up they cross their arms on an instinctive level the bully will pick up on that immediately and think easy target I picked it right I'm going to bully this person now however if you instead of doing that remember the keys are shoulders back chest out lean forward head tilt forward eyes wide Huggle through that again shoulders back chest forward lean forward head nod forward eyes wide when you couple all of those body language signals together and as the bully approaches you instead of doing something passive you take note of what they're saying and you say what are you asking me you know you lean forward you say are you asking me if I eat your sandwich you lean forward head tilt forward eyes wide shoulders back chest up remember never back away or even stay in the same spot when somebody's coming at you the thing that will increase the odds the most that you will leave that situation safely quickly and not victimized is going to be leaning forward to them now again I'm not saying that this is for the playground this is not for you know if you're going out for a jog in Central Park and this guy comes at you with a mask on and he's had a knife your machete you know that you're supposed to lean forward and say is that a machete in your hand I'm not spective about but if instead you're in a professional environment that you're at the conference table you know and somebody decides to bully you right there in front of everybody else like you're presenting an idea and somebody says something like you know I don't think you've been here long enough to really have that type of opinion whatever you know somebody says something to you that basically says I don't think that you're very valuable here in this organization you know whatever they're saying to convey that message you want to lean towards that person as you answer them always lean in head nod forward shoulders back chest up eyes wide as you answer them because that's bully language that will let them know in their own language not me you're not going to bully me so go find somebody else down the hallway that you can bully now of course in our upcoming videos we'll go through many more tips that will help you deal with workplace bullies and gossips and backstabbers and all sorts of difficult people at work and our next video is going to be on what you would say to somebody who's bullying you especially over the phone you're going to love this power phrase so remember to subscribe so that you can get that delivered right to you and notified of all of our videos so if you have not yet liked this video and shared it and commented on it please do that or don't like it but tell me why in the comments below and I look forward to seeing you in upcoming videos remember if you have not yet subscribed again do that this is Dan O'Connor for everybody here at demo Conor training signing up [Music]

Channel: Online Communication Skills Training Courses

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Keywords: communication training, dan oconnor communication training, communication skills training videos on difficult people, communication skills training for difficult people, communication skills training on difficult people, difficult people in the workplace training videos, books on difficult people in the workplace, difficult people in the workplace, communication keynote speaker, anti-bullying, bullying movies, how to stop bullying, anti bullying

Id: CuvNW1RnRjg

Length: 5min 25sec (325 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 04 2017