I know right? You're dealing with the
bully? It doesn't have to last. There really are some very precise things you
can do to change the game. No, I don't let that bully keep doing what they're doing.
Pay attention, go through this training and you're going to know what to do next. Okay. So, you got yourself a bully, right?
Got a bully happening and really, you could be of any age right now and have a
bully. You could have a bully for a boss, you could have a bully as a team member,
you could have a bully at school, you could have bully as a neighbor. Oh my goodness,
bullies come from all over the place. And what do you do? You know, how do you manage this? Because you try to avoid it and try to get away from it.
But it's like they're always there. I mean, really. How can you make a change, so
the whole situation just finally changes. Really? Can you go on living
like this? Having a bully messing with you and you know, and get in your life
and just doing what they're doing? Okay. So, let's let's really look into
this and about what's happening with this whole experience of having a bully.
And what you can do to change the game. What you can do? It's not about winning
the game, it's just changing the game, so the bully doesn't have their influence
like what they're doing right now. And really. Why should somebody that have
a negative influence like that, have some control over us? Right? Now, notice I said
us. Reason why I could talk about this because I've had bullies. And I've had a
bully in my life when I was growing up in school. And argh, man. They just...
Everyday, it's tormenting. You know, they tease you, they push you around, they mock
you in front of other people and they sort of hurt you. They literally hurt you.
One of my friends, the boys are coming after me and I got away for him. I look
back and they're beating up one of my friends. I mean, and they gang tackled the
person. I couldn't go back. I mean, there was just too many of them. And I still to
this day. I mean, I can't stand the fact that I let those bullies get to my
friend. So, the bully thing's real. And it really... Again, it doesn't matter how old
you are. But let's really look into this of what's happening when there is a
bully. Now, I got two circles up here. One is the stick figure of the circle that
has a bully name above it. And then a stick figure with the circle that is
smaller. That has "you" labeled to it. So, a bully... Now, this circle right here, this
circle represents your amount of personal influence or
your personal energy. And everybody has personal space. Like literally, we can
hold our hands out, flip our fingers up and that is the common distance of our
front personal space borders. And there literally is a circle all the way around
us called our personal space. And when somebody comes into that space, we sense
and feel it. We also... Many times try to keep people
out of our personal space. You know, if you have teenagers and you've ever got
close to your teenager, you probably hear them say, "Hey, you're in my space." Or you
walk in their bedroom or you know, something like that. It's like, they
will actually call out. You're in their personal space. So, all of us have
personal space. And that personal space bubble. I'm just going to call it. The bubble
there, is influenced by how we think about ourselves. And it's also the size
of this bubble, is influenced about what we perceive other people are thinking
about us. So, there's 2 things that influence this personal space bubble. So,
if we think down about ourselves that personal space gets smaller. If we think
other people think down about us, that also influences it to get smaller. So, a
bully, what turns a person into a bully is 1, hurt people, hurt people.
Bullies have been hurt. They're scarred. They've got challenges, they've got
issues. And really, bullies... They're really... They got problems. They got something
wrong with them, somebody hurt them, somebody did something to them and
that's turned them into a bully. And the only way they can find to help
themselves feel better is to put somebody else down. So, a bully will find
somebody who is perceived as a smaller, smaller energy force. And now that's an
easy target for a bully. So, when I was growing up, I was a chubby little kid. I
was chubby and I was just kind of the runt of the litter with all my friends.
And I was an easy target. So, they targeted me and they would push
me around, make fun of me and I was always the the laughing part of the joke,
was all about Kirk. So, A bully, he was trying to help himself feel
better because of whatever happened to them. So, hurt people, hurt other people.
And they sense and feel, they just noticed when somebody has a lower energy
force about them. And it's an easy target. So, as an easy target, then they start to
pick on the person. And they pick on the person, so that their energy goes down
further and further and further. And once their energy gets down to a certain
point, then the bully feels better. And then they go on their way feeling good
about themselves because they picked on somebody and put that person down, so
that they could feel like they're up. Because imagine, this is the bully and
this is the other person or this is me and this is the bully. So, the bully
can find me and put me down. Now, they feel like they're doing well or they're
ahead. Since they can't get ahead, they've got to put people down here. So, that they
feel like they're doing better. It's really twisted. Really, really twisted. So,
to further explain this, this is your energy source. You know, your personal
space around you. Your personal space changes. If you think negative about
yourself, it goes smaller. If you think good
thoughts about yourself, it gets bigger. So, remember that bullies are after those
people who have a smaller personal space. Smaller. And the way you think about
yourself and the way you think other people think about you makes that
personal space go smaller. Which then puts you in a position to get picked on
by bullies. So, this is what you do this is how you change the game, you change
your personal space. You can change this from being small to becoming bigger. And
so, literally, what's going to happen is, you're going to change this personal space
around you to expand, so that your personal space is that big. Now, when the
bully perceives your personal space or how you're doing as a person, they can't
mess with you. They can't get to you. I just recently heard a story
last week. A dad was telling me about his son who was dealing with the bully. So,
what was happening is the bully was messing with him on the bus on the way
to school. So, the dad told his son, "Hey, when the bully comes on the bus, invite
the bully to sit next to you." Just as soon as he walks on the bus, you be the
first to invite the bully to sit right next to you." And his son was like, "Dad, are
you kidding? The kids beating up on me every day at the bus." And he goes, "No, try it."
Change the game. So, the son is super nervous. He gets on the bus and he's like,
"I can't believe my dad asked me to do this. This is ridiculous. Why would I want
the kid that's hurting me just sit next to me?" But you see what the dad was
really smart about was because the son was now in a place of inviting the bully
to come sit next to him. It was showing that his son is not afraid of him. The
son was now thinking, "I'm going to be the one in control of what's going on."
So, the bully comes on the bus and the son... He was just shaking, just so nervous.
And he even called out the bully's name and said... I'm just going to pretend like... I'm
not going to say a name. And you pretend... Calls out his name and "Come sit with me." And he says that the
bully stopped in the aisle on the bus and looked at him, didn't know what to do.
Because usually, his son, you know, is like I'm not doing very good in school and I
don't know if anybody really likes me, I don't really have friends. And so, his energy
was really small. His personal space was really small. But now here he is going,
"Hey, hey! Come sit with me, come here, come here. Come sit, we got a spot saved for
you." It changed the game. And now, the bully walked up, looked at him and just
was in a confused way, just kind of bumped him on the shoulder and goes, "I'm
not sitting by you." And went sat in the back of the bus.
Nothing happened that day on the bus. He didn't get bullied that day. And he sat
there just thinking, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh this is working! This is working!" So,
at school, when he's walking down the hall and he'd see the bully, he'd wave to him
and go, "Hey, how you doing?" And here he is. He now is acting confident to this bully.
Gets mapping. Nothing. The bully did not come after him. He changed the game. You,
if you got a bully. Even if it's your neighbor, your boss, your team member or
you're going to school and you got a bully in school, you got to
change the game. You can't change them but you can change yourself. So, this is
what you do. I got a list for you. This is what you do. And this is a big
deal, big deal. So, the first thing seriously. Start doing sit-ups. Do like
five push-ups. Do you like five sit-ups tonight before
you go to bed. You're going to wake up and your tummy's going to hurt a little bit. Or
your shoulders are going to hurt a little bit. But get a little bit more fit. You
get a little bit more fit with sit-ups or push-ups or get a jump rope. Jump rope
for just like 60 seconds. Just start doing something to change your physical
being, your confidence is going to go up a notch. And that's going to expand your
personal space. You're working on expanding this personal space. Every one
of these will expand your personal space. And you want to just open up that
personal space as big as you can get it. Because if you can get your personal
space bigger than the bullies, what do think... They can't do anything. They can't
do anything because now you have personal power with that personal space.
So, get fit. Do some sit-ups do some push-ups tonight. Then when you wake up
in the morning, you turn on the music. Really. Turn on the music. And while
you're brushing your teeth, just do yourself a little jiggy, you know, do a
little dance or whatever. And when you're going into the kitchen, do you know, dance
with the music on the way into the kitchen. Who cares if you know how to
dance or not? But dance. Notice these these first 2 have to do with you
physically. It'll change the way you're walking, the way you're moving. And you'll
feel better. But you got to expand that personal space or nothing's going to change.
Number 3, positive declarations. I want you to write 3 sentences that
are good, solid, sentences. Something like this, "I am confident and secure and I can
communicate easily with others." The second one could be, you know, "I can stand
my ground and hold to who I am." The third sentence could be, you know, "I have lots
of friends that are on my side and that are on my
team." Those are 3 great declarations. And if you were to write those
declarations down and say those every morning, you're going to totally
engage your mind in expanding your personal space.
Now, next here is, upgrade your story about the bully. You know, sometimes we
look at bullies of like jerks, they're mean, they're terrible, they're hurtful.
And we're thinking all this negative stuff about them. But when we think
negative about people who are bullies, what happens is, we don't... We paint them
to be this evil creature of what's going on. But if we could really take a look at
this and change our point of view about who they are. We can say, "You know what?
bullies can change." Now, this person is going to change. I'm going to influence this
person to change their attitude." Every person has an opportunity to change. But
if you're not the kind of person who can send that good story to them, you're
going to be feeding the monster negative thoughts. Don't feed the monster the
negative thoughts. Don't do that. You upgrade the story into a better story
about what they're going to be like after they change from being a bully. And
then the last one and this is the big one.
The story you have about you. Now, the declarations are short statements. But
really, to build up your story about who you are and how strong you are and how
smart you are and how you're confident and how other people are there to
support you and care about you. You're going to find yourself being able to manage
the conversation and the interaction with that bully. These five steps
right here. You do one of them or you do all of them, you know, what's going to happen.
Your personal space is going to change. And based upon the size of your personal
space, is how people treat you. If your personal space energy is down because
you think yourself negative, you think down about yourself, you're not going to
be respected. It's going to be tough, it's going to be difficult and you're going to get
bullied. That's why we must take charge of our life and do something about it. And
really boost up our personal space. And it's all good. It's all positive. It's all
healthy. All you got to do is get it done. So, jump on one of these five and make a
change today. Alright, what else have you done in your life to be able to get
past this whole bully thing? I bet you know somebody or something's happened. Be
sure to comment down here below, share your wisdom with all of us here that are
being part of what's going on in this anti-bully thing that's going on in the
world. Share your comments down here below. Remember to subscribe, remember to ring
the bell and I'll see you tomorrow.
