How to make a Band when you have no friends

bingos are you going you know I've noticed something really really strange recently it all started when I fell asleep on the train I woke up worried that I'd miss my stop and quickly ran to ask the driver where I want when I got to the front of the train I realized there was no driver do you know how to drive this thing the same thing happened the next day I was in the supermarket and I noticed there was something wrong with the carrots so I went to the cashier so they could sort it out only to find out I was the cashier it's been happening everywhere when I was young I thought it was just my dad but nowadays humans are disappearing left right and center the whole process has left me very confused with very low self-esteem and very very sore teeth and what happens now to other unemployed train drivers when there's no longer a place for them in society do we just release them back into the wild [Music] and what if they come back they'll just be swarms of unemployed starving people pretending to drive trains all over town like I understand business fat cats want to chase the newest technology to stay ahead of the game but what do we do as more and more people become unemployed important there must be a fair solution to this then it dawned on me I don't care I'm gonna cash in by working out what to automate next [Music] now don't get me wrong automation doesn't have to be a bad thing after all as long as we've been recording history we know that work sucks even the job of keeping historical records sucked people used to break their back all day and dream of that mythical 15-minute break where they could just sit down boil some water and enjoy a nice cuppa until one tail of our called Thomas Savery thought instead of working all day long with only 15 minutes of tea time why not just have tea time for the entire day instead so invented the greatest most revolutionary tea kettle in the world the steam engine and this magical boiling pot promised to carry all our heavy stuff and dig all our big holes and suddenly all anyone could talk about was tea based utopian societies we'll all live in luxury working three days a week while steamed handled all the dirty work but centuries passed and that didn't happen at all in fact didn't happen so much that it actually went into negative happening and we actually got the opposite result as newer and newer technologies came around through the Industrial Revolution most people's working lives actually became a lot harder when people became factory workers their life expectancies suddenly hard and every day became mandatory bring your kids to work day and it turns out that the people buying machines weren't trying to make the perfect society they were trying to make the perfect worker when Henry Ford invented the word automation 100 years ago the idea was to speed up work enhance productivity and get that moolah machines do everything you say they don't need to eat sleep or poop and when machines do poop it's usually delicious and most importantly unlike humans they couldn't care less if you don't pay them or you have a habit of abusing them so instead of using machines to make their lives easier workers started competing with machines and you would know if you've ever tried racing a toaster you cannot win and this kind of automation has only been increasing faster and faster to this day and it's terrifying as they've already started replacing some youtubers with mindless robots so I've got to act fast and join the automation game before I become redundant as well then I realize the one industry that has pretty much been untouched by automation music they shower millions of dollars on completely useless replaceable people why would you pay a drummer for hitting things when this baby does it for free why is a bass and a guitar considered two different instruments that needs two different employees to play when they're pretty much the exact same thing do the managers know that they could be making so much more money if they change Beatles to beetle or migos to me go or maroon 5 to maroon one so what I'm gonna do is create the perfect automated scaled-down stream lines musician the one-man band now I think I found the perfect human subject to become a one-man band my mate is Volo has been in a band it's on his tinder profile he constantly tells you about practice and he has a dedicated music room with five chairs but there's one thing Baloo doesn't own friends so it's great for both of us he finally becomes a band and I get a small slice of his earnings there's a problem though when I started this I didn't realize how sickly and weak most of these musicians are the more instruments I can put on him the more money I make but if I crush him I don't make any money at all so I had to find the perfect balance between music and grievous bodily harm which rules out the cello and piano so we picked the drum guitar hi-hat harmonica French horn was too big so he went with the Clown variety and vibraslap also this musician is only off the two-armed variety so we're going to have to make him some kind of exoskeleton to help him out so we ordered an army metal frame backpack thing and badly drilled some holes in it to attach all of our instruments now drums are pretty big so we decided to cut ours in half your economic music you know why feeling it's yeah that's not I've no wonder what I'm doing so you've got two drums there oh that's good value yes pretty good now you make money yeah so then we decided to chop up the panels and other parts of the drum kit and somehow put them inside the drum and then we all this thing be coming here so this thing will be fine and if you also want to copy the design we are using you can't because we're not following one and then we barely managed to get the drum skin back on then once we confirmed it worked we ran wires from the pedals down to his shoes which some of you loyal Samoans may recognize from the video in which I almost snap both my ankles and if you're going to make one of these kits do not use metal while as they aren't flexible so it's really hard to get the right length if it's too long nothing happens and if it's too short you are stuck in a kind of crouching position [Music] so once the drum walking was satisfactory we had to figure out a way to attach a five kilo amp and the rest of the instruments on his back so we made a little table with a piece of foam to dampen the vibrations meaning we are ready to pick the song and we need a mega pop here so we searched best song on Google and he came up with Eddie Murphy's 80s hit party all the time and you know what Google was spot on by coincidence Murphy is also surprisingly good at taking people's jobs it was simultaneously an actor a comedian a donkey a fat guy and a singer and they look pretty exhausted I mean this is you know make it a bit better is if you if you had backup dancers that would kind of attach to you on the sides you're gonna draw a lot more attention people will like it a lot more so we both agreed that he could use the extra pizzazz and attempted to make some backup dancers with old clothes PVC pipes and this giant bear that we found on the side of the road then I cut the Bears throat removed its insides and stuffed them inside these tights and shirt to form some dancing people and then we just skewered the people onto some PVC pipes and attach them to Volvo so he could become a puppet master and then we are ready sounding pretty good you're sounding good how are you feeling it's hard can you ready though I reckon you ready to perform yeah head down to the city no you don't you ready yeah I think you're definitely ready just start walking and then start playing yeah yeah yeah okay yeah okay go this bit faster keep going [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] my turn my girl wants to do the turn [Applause] how'd you go um I mean I'm exhausted but it was really good I made so much money look at the look at that mall that is amazing well I just need to take the cut for the guitarist or and there and the cut for the horn player or and and the two backup dancers actually and then or and then the managers cut but you still good yeah you can buy yourself something nice [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you so much for watching if you like that make sure to subscribe otherwise I'm gonna pay Eddie Murphy to steal your job

Channel: I did a thing

Views: 1,986,105

Keywords: i did a thing, william osman, michael reeves, making, educational, band, dancing, one man band, diy

Id: fQEIrNSPoQE

Length: 13min 28sec (808 seconds)

Published: Sun Dec 29 2019

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[u/sillygoooos]

He could be Yanged regardless

[u/samocamo123]

woah thats really weird, i watched that video less than 15 minutes ago