How to Know if You've Found "The One"

hey this is Jackie with ascension presents and today we're going to talk about how do you know you've met the right person the one that God has called you to marry well love is a choice and so no and nobody's perfect you should just marry whoever because love is choice there's no emotion I'm just a robot that's terrible advice okay God doesn't want us to be miserable God wants us to be happy and he wants our marriages to bear the fruits of the spirit the fruits of peace and joy and kindness and you can't do that if you're miserable I read a poster one time that said 90 percent of your happiness in life is to turn by who you marry okay so we have brains it's okay that we can discern if if this is the right person for us that you're choosing this one person above all else it should be the right person but there is another extreme okay the the very Disney version of the right person is somebody who Oh makes us feel this romance all the time and it's gonna be wonderful well okay romance is great emotion is great but that's like the raw material that's just the beginning of love all right your love should become much more mature recently a married couple who said in a statement that they were getting divorced they were separating ways because they they weren't feeling that spark anymore that emotion and now their would becoming much more like friends and I was like what like that's a good thing that's how that's a maturing of your relationship is you're becoming friends friendship is an absolutely necessary part of a marriage and they thought that was bad because they just weren't as passionately in love as they used to be in like oh no so there's there is a middle okay and the middle is this discernment here are five ways that you can know if God's calling you to marry this person okay number one is you should experience peace and joy these are fruits of the Spirit the Holy Spirit and God wants you to have peace and joy in your vocation and your work he doesn't want you to have anxiety if you feel that pit in your stomach that's that's a good sign that this is not the right person for you even if somebody is perfect on the page like they they have every single thing but you have this pit in your stomach that could be a reason that maybe they're called to marry someone else maybe you're called to marry someone else I mean I had that pin in my stomach a man someone my ex-boyfriend was called me priest and another one was called marry one of my friends God uses our emotions emotions aren't bad and he uses our emotions to help us discern so when you have that peace like man I feel at home in this relationship it should feel home like home like this was it's easy it's easy to be with this person not not to say you don't ever fight or it's not hard work but it's to be with this person is just it feels like home and they bring you joy you experience being childlike they're not life-sucking but they're life-giving you should experience joy with this person I had someone say to me like oh well Jackie but what about people like Saint Monica who was with a terrible husband like listen Saint Monica was probably in an arranged marriage and she would probably like girl do not you know we don't flirt to convert you don't go into a marriage trying to convert somebody okay that's not love so God wants you to experience peace and joy in your marriage because your marriage is called to bear fruit to the world together you were called to bear fruit another way you know that this is person is the right one is that you should be this is friendship with romance that as a friend your best friend this is a person you want to spend 24/7 with okay I'm not like your gal pal but this is a person with whom you have a virtuous friendship you have a common goal and your common goal is heaven and obviously you should be romantically attracted to them okay you want to make babies with them so friendship with romance I love that definition I'm like Bobby is my best friend I can't wait till he gets home I love being with him and we're finally it's like finally we're on the same page I I met somebody who I can have intellectual conversations with I don't want to drag them along in my faith like finally I've met someone who's on the same page as me spiritually I thinking when I was single lord I feel like I'm you know I could be a nun but I'm not called to be one I need somebody who could be a priest but is not called to be one huh God's funny you know and so Bobby and I are on the same page spiritually and and physically emotionally and intellectually and so I knew that was pretty easy just to know right away like this is the person I'm called to marry it's so easy being with them number three is similar you can I feel like how do you know this person's the right one is that you can finally be yourself you don't have to pretend to be somebody else and other relationships I you know guys would say like oh you're too goofy or silly or oh you're too religious or too Catholic I'm like well sorry like that's who I am and with Bobby it was like I finally felt like I didn't have to be somebody else I don't have to put on a mask I could just be me and he could just be Bobby and and we loved being with each other he loves me for me I love him for him and that was very easy to know like okay this is the right person because I don't have to pretend to be somebody I'm not number four how do you know that that's the right one well I feel like with the person that you're with you can actually argue with them in a healthy way I realized going through marriage prep with Bobby that there are a lot of married couples that don't talk about tough things they don't argue as engaged couples of dating couples because they're afraid that if they bring up tough subjects that someone's gonna break up with them so in the first year of marriage they finally get to bring it up and people are miserable huh and I was like how do you not talk about children how do you not talk about finances how do you not talk about kind of like chores and the roles like I you know hey I don't want to be doing everything like we need to you know maybe you do dishes and all and all you know clean a house or whatever I don't know how people don't talk about this but then I realized oh it's because they're afraid of breaking up so if you can argue in a healthy way that's a good thing and another thing I will say is with my ex-boyfriend whenever I would get in an argument with them it was always like after the argument is like ooh I don't know if this is gonna work out I don't know if they're the right person for me and it was like I'm wah wah but was Bobby after an argument I actually loved him more when we apologized and I realized like I know more of his heart I know more where he's coming from and the way that he treated me you know like I will say if you are in a relationship where somebody is physically abusive emotionally abusive sexually abusive like that's a red flag get out get out right now because it's good to argue in a healthy way but we're not called to argue in a dysfunctional way that's reality TV okay we're not called to have dysfunctional relationships recall to have healthy relationships and part of the healthy relationship is that you can argue well and you can argue like emotionally a mature adult so it's okay to argue you're brought up differently we have different expectations and arguing is just a way to help you get through those but a sign that this is the right person for you is that afterwards you're like man I love this person even more now this is good and lastly how do you know this person is the right one is are they helping you get to heaven and obviously this person should help you they should challenge you to be holy not in a dominating way but they should be on your side they should they're running the race with you they're encouraging you to finish this marathon of life that man when you're feeling depressed they're helping you through these situations because life is tough God doesn't promise that life is going to be easy so the person you marry is is is on this journey with you helping you to get to heaven and also I will say a lot of times when we date someone we don't think about the fact that this person also is going to help our children get to heaven so my question to you is if you died would this person be able to get your children help your children get to heaven and if you can't say yes to that then maybe you should have married this person that's pretty important because people a lot of times don't think about the children part they always think like oh did we get along but a chemistry you know but your children it's a it is huge part this person is running the race with you and they're encouraging you and when they're down you're encouraging them and when you're down they're encouraging you you guys are helping each other get back up and get to heaven and they're gonna help your kids get to heaven too so these are just a few things to help you discern whether the person that you're with is the right person the person that God is calling you to marry and let me tell you it's important because marriage Christian mayor's a sacramental marriage is is called to bring fruit to the world not apples and oranges but the fruits of the spirit of self-control modesty chastity peace kindness joy goodness generosity when you see a holy marriage and good marriage a marriage where God has called these two people together man you can see those fruits you're like that is a marriage that bears the spirits of peace and joy that's a marriage I want to be around I want to be around those people I pray for your discernment and stay close to God and he will stay close to you and and he will help you to know and give me that peace and joy when it is the right person so god bless you and from ascension presents this is Jackie angel and I will see you next time

Channel: Ascension Presents

Views: 196,047

Rating: 4.9615011 out of 5

Keywords: Friendship with romance, flirt to convert, don’t flirt to convert, Jackie and Bobby Angel, Ascension Presents, Ascension Media, Ascension Presents Jackie and Bobby Angel, finding the one (Catholic), Catholic dating, Jackie Angel on dating, Jackie Angel on Catholic dating, Catholic marriage, marriage discernment, jackie francois, jackie francois angel

Id: x0g1AAgiGSo

Length: 9min 15sec (555 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 13 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/PurpleJared789]

God's providence is real, and he knows our vocation before we do. However, without free will there is no Love. People often dart between the extremes of "there is no such thing as 'the one', marry whoever you like" and "where is my destiny, who is my prince charming, are you the Jim to my Pam?". Really, the Theology of the church has always been a both/and. God's all-knowing providence and our free will. They don't contradict. They can't contradict theologically speaking, or it would be counter to the "essence" of God etc, yada, [theological words here].

Read Tobit. God intends their Marriage before the foundation of the world. So that's definitely a thing. However, it shouldn't discourage people from dating. We should offer every circumstance of our lives to God. Some people's spouses die and they re-marry. Was only one of those people their vocation? Nah. Vocation is a series of moments, a dynamic route of instances that may lead us into the life of God. God intends certain individuals to be a part of that path in specific ways, but we have to accept love and that's one of the ways that our Choice is incorporated. Participation is an expression of our Free Will.

I didn't watch the video just now. I think I have before, idk. I've seen enough videos about this.

TL;DR God's eternal will and our Free Will aren't mutually exclusive, so vocation involves both in tandem. Read for explanation.

[u/Drunken_Daud91]

I’ll save you minutes your won’t get back.

Wanna know how you found ‘The One’? You’re both standing at that altar.

Anything else is gobbledygook at best and bullshit at worst that only feeds unrealistic or false expectations.

Dating isn’t complicated if you don’t make it.

[u/ChescaVictoria]

Thank you so much for recommending that youtube channel!

[u/Billy_King]

“The one” is a myth

[u/[deleted]]

Yeah, "the one" and "soul mate" and other stuff like that is cringey, feely nonsense.

Romance is important, sure. But if these things were real, people wouldn't remarry after the death of a spouse.