Find Out If You’re Really in Love

bringing very sad colors for a thing about love love is sad [Music] I were Jackie and Bobby with Central Presents and today we're gonna talk about how do you know you're in love it's the thing we are most made for most design for we most crave it's on just about every song on the radio has something to do with love gone right or gone wrong so how do I know I'm actually in that state of love and if you're asking this question we're kind of assuming if you're googling like how do I know I'm in love it means you're in a relationship you're you're asking the question kind of you're asking is am I is this a person I'm going to marry like how do I know this is real because when we say love again love is not just a feeling because we've all had that experience where we have felt in love and the relationship has gone very wrong or sour or the the person we thought we were dating did not end up being the person we had and the idea in our head so how do I know I'm in love well the Greeks used four words for love the first one was storge which which is like the lowest level attachment there's philia which is the friendship type love like again I love this guy like a brother or I love this this girl's a sister and then there's the eros layer of love which is again the the passionate love that that's kind of what we associate sometimes with like love when you know we're drawn by beauty where we were pierced by that ache of beauty we see a beautiful person we see a beautiful sunset like your hearts well that's eros which is a good thing but that's not the endpoint of love because eros is a fast burn and it can also quickly go out the highest form is agape love which is really demonstrated in the Christian Way of life no greater love and this than to lay down your life for a friend that's John 15:13 the model of Christ that I love you above myself so that's the litmus test of like does this person love me more than themselves and the hard thing is not just in a flowery romantic poetic way which is usually had a lot of these relationships you know we're all we're all human we're all in it they start out very passionate and very like we're up till 3:00 in the morning talking this person and it feels great I mean that's the thing is like the feelings of love are wonderful and some people were some people are addicted to that feeling of love right and they'll chase that feeling but if you're asking the question am I in love how do I know I'm in love um it can't just be based on the feeling because those feelings are very fleeting they go away and they have to be sustained by a deeper type of love which is what Pope John Paul before he was the Pope he wrote a book called love responsibility he talks about how this feeling of love needs to be drawn into a deeper type of love right the value of the person he writes as Carol Boyd T WA the future de st. John Paul the second the value of that person is bound up with the whole being of the person not with his or her sex sex is only an attribute of the being love demands integration we come together body and soul it is an affirmation of the person or else it is not love at all meaning hold on so meaning that it's not just my feelings it's not just our sexual chemistry because when you read magazines like like Cosmo that's all they're talking about they're just talking about this sexual chemistry and it's like well but take that away what about when you're not having that sexual chemistry like when you're not having sex when you're not doing anything sexual and what's there do you actually like the person or are you in love with thee what they can give you the feelings they can give you or are you in love with the idea of the person keep reading this is very good yes honey lady there's only love when it is directed to the person that is love the authentic commitment of the free will of one person resulting from the truth about another person it is again receiving and seeing the truth of that person not who I think they are not who I want them to be not who I think I'm gonna change them into I see the truth of the person as a priest once told me the reality should be better than the romance love is not just a cold legalism like I will lay my life down for you I guess it's like I'm choosing to love you even though I don't really have feelings for you like that that's that's the wrong extreme of it there should be passion there should be that that a jump all called it the raw sentiment of love the first like kind of the first kind of stuff the material should be like that excitement to see the other person and to give them gifts and to spend time with them but that's not love in and of itself that's the starting point it should be able to see the truth of the other person and that's also a process yeah that's not just a one like one day I I'm in full love I know fully what it is to love this person and whatever it's a process because when everyone is healthy and finances are good love is easier than when someone loses a job or there's cancer or a disease and when really like when the inconveniences of life show up that's when love takes root that's when you know instead of just heading for the door well I guess it wasn't love or I guess we don't feel it anymore I don't feel it therefore you know that then it was never love you know it was it got out of the starting gate but it didn't finish the race like love has to when the times get tough that's where love takes roots and says I'm inconvenience but you know what you're more important than than me right now you are more important than my desires or my preferences if you are sexually active in a relationship right now and you want to know if you were actually in love take that component out take the sexual part of it out and live live a life of a living relationship with chassis and then you will see what is really there you'll see like do we actually have a friendship can we actually talk about things or basically is our whole relationship centered around sex is it all centered around this physical chemistry because that's gonna that's gonna go away I can't tell you how many people have gotten divorced like oh the chemistry just after ten years it went away it's like well because all you had was the chemistry you didn't have a friendship you didn't have a deeper form of love and agape love so yeah if you're not growing deeper roots and the thing is when you grow deeper roots the romance continues to bloom it's like it's like I garden and so it's like when you when you keep taking care of like a rose and the roots go deeper sometimes you got to prune it but then there's more flowers so it's like real love sometimes it's painful it's sacrificial but then the romance is gonna bloom from that deeper love John Paul writes love cannot be founded on sentiment alone so it is in just the feeling alone we're called to again reclaim that passion not just go on cold autopilot as the years and time goes on but to again prune as necessary to keep conversations going to still date one another to keep T but keep it going and he says to that we see here that the desire to use another person is fundamentally incompatible with love so do I know I'm in love well is the other person using me am I using or am i using them is the emotional or physical pleasure because that's a big that's not love that's just the use now again those relationships can be pruned that can arrive at a place of love but there's got to be some hard the sermon hard conversations to arrive there so that love can evolve and take bloom but you gotta be willing to be prune and allow God to prune you in the process be patient God is the author of all love God wants to love you first before we extend that love to others so allow God to love you allow Christ to make manifest the love and healing he wants to give you so that you can rightfully love others and be loved in return yes for the first job we only know how to love because he has loved us first so we only know how to love with agape sacrificial love because he's the one that showed us what that love looks like so exactly let yourself be loved by him the author of love and it'll allow you to love others the way your call to from all of us that Ascension presents god bless we'll see you next time [Music]

Channel: Ascension Presents

Views: 137,065

Keywords: no greater love, Am I in love, the test of true love, are you really in love, am i actually in love, how to find out if i’m in love, is this real love, the four loves, storge, agape, philia, eros, Ascension Presents, Ascension Press, faith formation media, Catholic media, Jackie Angel, Bobby Angel, Jackie and Bobby on love, relationship advice, how do I know I’m in love, romantic advice, dating advice, love and responsibility, Karol Wojtyla, theology of the body, the one

Id: sQ5mSScdInw

Length: 8min 10sec (490 seconds)

Published: Tue May 05 2020