Did Chastity Make Our Wedding Night Awkward?

I reject him Bobby with ascension presents today we're going to talk about how living a life of chastity of saying yes to the goodness of the body did that affect our wedding night I had a woman let's say a woman asked me she was like Oh Jackie so you're a virgin you know before marriage she's like was Bobby virgin and I was like no but it's not something he was proud of and she's like well least someone knows what they're doing and I was like oh girl you should be glad I have a self-control not to punch you in the face right now oh my gosh was like because sex it's not just about mechanics people been doing this for thousands of years just because you're a virgin on your wedding night does it mean you're not gonna figure out how this goes who's ridiculous short answers no so next video no but the when love is not the bedrock when it's not about me caring about who this person is and their story and what they've come to the relationship with and a faithful love it's all down mechanics our friend in the industry says that you know when love is not the foundation it's all about the mechanics and that's why you'll see in every magazine in the supermarket 101 tips to blow his mind you never knew existed before that just we discovered this month then we'll discover more next month when it's not about love yeah it's we know it's just about use and there's a difference there and so when people I've had people say to me you know like when you're being a virgin on your wedding night like you know my gosh you guys didn't live together you didn't have sex it's like how does that affect it's like well actually I'm marrying the man who's vowing to love me till death do us part I mean I can't imagine you know anything else that's freeing and when you're engaging in that sexual act outside of marriage there's this like okay this is very like intimate thing that I may not even know the person's middle name I may not know if they're gonna be around in the morning like that's not how it's it's meant to be in that regard there's a protection with the vows that that that also comes with knowing the person knowing maybe they have been wounded maybe they've been violated maybe again what the magazine says is not the human person in front of me there needs to be patience and tenderness and showing the person I care that's what love is not just technique and actually the language of the body insects are promises that we make on the altar say I promise I'll go freely totally faithfully fruitfully and that's the language of sex so every time a couple has sex they're renewing their wedding vows and if you never made those vows Pope John Paul says if you never made those vows and when you have sex outside of marriage you're lying with your body because your body is making a promise that you never did so in marriage there's such a freedom because I'm not afraid of you know getting pregnant outside because it's like it's it's so freeing when you've made vows so this person you made these promises and that's what the language of sex is saying but this person is completely loving you um and it's not just some like for me it was like thought was some boyfriend in high school who I don't know if they'll leave me the next day or I mean I've had so many young girls come up to me telling me like about their first experience of sex and how they're like I just wanted someone to hold me and he did even hold me afterward it's like oh you know like and they're like man it was it was all about him in marriage you have this opportunity it's like you continue to grow with each other and learn how to love each other and how to please each other because you communicate with each other but yes some people are brought up with this idea that sex is bad and you have this sense of shame so if there is that sense that sex is bad when you get married yes it might be awkward if it's your first time having sex because at that part it needs to be healed because sex is not shameful was it the balance of marriage to in fact Pope John Paul and love responsibility he talked about how shame is swallowed up by love when you truly love I also do want to say that some people who have been sexually abused I know girls who have been sexually abused and it is very difficult when they get married to you know to really experience that the healing because of what happened to them or even young men - but again this is where consulting a magazine about how to blow their mind is not going to help it's like the person in front of you is the person that needs to be loved and the person needs to be tender with and just very patient with so I'd say we've all grown up in a very poor no fide culture so we sometimes bring that to the table of what I expect or what I somehow think this is gonna this is gonna go when it's like no this is a human person again with with needs and emotions and we need to ask for healing there and to like again if you're in a spot where one of you is waited for marriage one of you hasn't asked for healing Esther the healing of memories the healing of your body because again we're we're psychosomatic spiritual beings so it's not just I had a hookup and didn't mean it doesn't care it doesn't come along with me it's like when we give ourselves away to this person in that person that person you're becoming one body one soul one flesh so again God can heal all things right so don't fall into despair there but just again shame is swallowed up by love and so love comes charging out and once the good of the other person and it's not concerned about the techniques of Cosmo it's just about and that's freeing and that will lead to you know a wedding night as it's supposed to be and we both went to confession the night before our wedding even the day of right and I went the day before and we both said you know again like father like forgive me for everything that I've done with any other person that was not my spouse because only my spouse deserves all of me there's only percent vowing to give all of me and again how beautiful that that all those other things you know again God has wiped away our sins and now we can love each other totally and again to you know when it's your if it's your first time on your wedding night that you have sex or maybe you're both virgins it's like again it's it people been doing this for thousands and thousands of you what a what a gift to say that what I get to say only you right you know this is only for you yeah you know but again if people out P know people always worried about like is it can be awkward yeah it might be awkward we might do another video about like maybe oh that's very practical things but it's again when someone loves you they're gonna be patient with you and loves it loves okay laughing yeah it's okay to laugh like okay all right let's figure things out together because it's the person you're me doing this till death do you part and I had a woman who had been married for about 30 years she's like Jackie tell them make sure and like when I talk to younger so you make sure you tell them that when you're being the longer you've been married the better it is okay you know just because we had this idea that once you're married it's all downhill from there Oh stinks but again if you love each other it's gonna your love grows deeper and every you learn more about the person in their heart their mind their body soul so I love just gets better sex gets better as you've been married longer and you continue to communicate and not resort to just looking at techniques and tips from Cosmo magazine from all this at ascension presents god bless

Channel: Ascension Presents

Views: 188,642

Keywords: the Church and sex, wedding night, chastity, how to be chaste, Jackie and Bobby, awkward wedding night, chastity and your wedding night, wedding night chastity, jackie and bobby angel, jackie and bobby relationship, jackie and bobby wedding, jackie francois angel, jackie francois, jackie francois wedding night, was it awkward on your wedding night, saving sex for marriage, saving yourself for marriage, saving sex for marriage catholic, the truth about saving sex for marriage

Id: P3OKZRIEV4M

Length: 7min 27sec (447 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 30 2019