(upbeat music) - [Narrator] Karyn Buxman
is an international speaker and successful author of eight books. Booked by more than
500 companies worldwide Karyn is one of the few people
in the world to be inducted into the National Speaker
Associations, Hall of fame. Today, Dan Lok interviews
Karyn on the secret to enhancing your humor skills to become a better leader with personal
stories and cutting edge tip. - So when I'm teaching, same thing, I try to
weave humor in stories. You gotta make it interesting
for people, right? And even when I, I'll give
you a perfect example. When I decided on to share
some of my personal hobbies, just like, hey, I'll
collect like superheroes and stuff like that,
the toys and all that, I talked to a couple of consultants. Oh no, you don't wanna do that, like the image consultant, right? You know, you've got your brand, you've got your thing and you shouldn't, no, people don't take you seriously. I'm like, (grinning) it just feels right. - Yes. - Right, it feels is
right thing to do, right? And so I thought, you know what,
I'm gonna just gonna do it. So I did it and people love it. And not only that builds a new
audience, but it's who I am. I think it's another dimension to what I do versus always, always business is always
serious that we can, oh no, we can have fun too. When my wife, Jenny and
I, we did the new series on my channel called
Alpha Men Smart Woman. - Oh, great, right? - So basically, it's just
our relationship and we talk about like how we met, it's
just a funny things, right? - Yes, yes. - And Jenny would go, like they say shopping and we
do the unboxing and I'll be, Oh my God what did you
buy this time, right? Right, it's like this kind of a humor? And people love that. People will love that. - Well you're bringing
up an interesting point. And that is that whether people
are looking for a leader, - Yes. - Or whether they're looking for a lover. One of the top three
traits they're looking for, is sense of humor. - That's true. If we were to serve here
a hungrier woman, right? - Exactly. I'm very fortunate to
have both in my life. My husband, Greg Godek
is actually the author of 1,001 Ways to Be Romantic. (laughing) But one of the things that
brought us together was the fact that he's very funny
and he's very romantic, but the creativity, the
humor and the romance, those all go together. And when you can bring humor
into your relationship, kind of a funnier side, when
men and women are looking for someone with a sense of humor, women want someone who
will make them laugh. - Yes. - Men On the other hand are looking for someone who will laugh at their jokes. - It's true, it's true, It's true. - We're looking for
slightly different things. - It's true, it's true. - But, you know, people
desire humor and so they want it in their leaders, they
want it in their lovers, they would want it in people
they do business with. And so to intentionally look
for ways to put this in, how do I do this? And just those wonderful human connections that this is something
you and I have in common. Comicon, I walked to Comicon, and it's just down the street from us, the superheroes, the marvel characters. And when I am posting
the pictures of Iron Man and all this other people
either Walking Dead on my Instagram, you know,
people are going nuts, they're blowing it up because
it's that fun human connection and they're like, oh
yeah, you like Iron Man, I like Iron Man too. Yeah, and we just, we love
those fun connections. It doesn't have to be
all about how smart I am and how successful I am. - It's true, it's true. - It's the human part. - And I think it is those, it not only makes you
more human more relatable, - Yes. - Right, as a expert, as a
speaker or as a business person. - Yes. - Right, all of that. And I think most of
them, they're so afraid to share their part, right? And I think growing up, I
think most of us at least, I think we're still like a child, we are all childish,
just in like adult form. - Yes. Yes. - And I think in, this
is going deep in terms of communication and persuasion. This is what I believe in. That if we have the adult
talking to the adult, there's always a wall. Cause it's adult talk to adult, right? - It's interesting, yeah. - Right? I'm like I'm this CEO
I'm this like, you know, this kind of person, or
I'm this expert, right? But when you have a
child talking to a child, suddenly you just bond. Cause you look at kids, how they could think about,
like think about your kids. You go to the playground
and you take them too, they can meet other kids and
within seconds they just bond. - Right. - Like they don't know each other and then they're running
around doing slides and it's like they just, but adults don't, the parents are like. Yeah, (mumbling) - Right, you know, the kids aren't looking at what kind of clothing you have-- - Yeah, no judgment, no it isn't. - You know, what color of their hair is or anything like that. - Yeah, they just boom,
they just bond, right? It's the adult, Oh Hi, how are you Yeah, it's good, your way goes,
like this kind of stuff. But kids they're just
running around having fun. I think it's the same
thing in communication. Where if I can do like
communicate child to child, - Yes. - Then it's instant bonding. - Yes. - It's so powerful. So Karyn, how could
someone train themselves to be more like funnier or more humorous? Like how could they do that? - You know, in my book,
Funny Means Money, I have-- - I love the title by the way. - Thank you. - Funny Means Money. - Strategic humor for
influence and world domination. Cause I mean really this
is what connects the world. And part of my mission
is to make the world a better place through humor. You know, one laugh at a
time, one smile at a time. But I think the very first thing that's most important
is just the attitude. Because so many, you know, and I say, look for the humor around
you every day, what's funny? Ask Yourself, what am I missing? And some people push back and they say, Oh, you don't understand. There's nothing funny
happening in my life. - Yes. - And if that's your
belief, that's your reality. - That's your life. - Because you see what, you
know, seeing is believing. And believing is seeing. And so if you believe there's no humor, that's what the world is gonna give you. But if you ask the world, what's funny? What am I missing? You start hearing things. You start seeing things. I was in Miami, I'm behind
somebody at the hotel desk and the person is asking the hotel clerk, can you tell me which beach
is closest to the water? I'm going, wait a minute. Which beach is closest to the water? You know, and it was like, you don't have to make this stuff up. Somebody was telling me in
Denver that somebody asked their hotel personnel, what time of year do
your deer turn into elk? It's like the crazy
things that people say, the crazy signs that you see. And-- - Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, It's true. - If you, and I encourage
people to write these down because so often you
think, oh, that's so funny. I'm gonna remember this. I don't know about you, but I can't tell you what I had for breakfast yesterday. You know, and I can remember, oh, there was something
funny, what was it? But I journal and I also now,
the little more technology I ever know, you know, on my phone. Boom, boom, boom, boom, and-- - Or take a photo of it, it is funny. - Photo, absolutely. And posting those on Instagram. Here's something that's
very humbling for me because I've been researching
this field for 30 years. I know I'm an expert, I'm a neurohumorist. I know more about this than anybody. And I post these posts and thoughts that I think are so profound. The posts that I posted that
has gotten the most hits of anything I've ever posted, was when I was in someone's
home and in their bathroom, I noticed that they had the toilet paper roll facing differently than how I would have put it. And so I took a picture
of the toilet paper roll, I put it on Instagram
and Facebook and I said, all I said was up or down, and (puffing) I mean, the dialogue, the argument, no, the toilet paper roll
goes paper over the top. No, it goes under. And all these, and it was just hysterical. But it was like, everybody
it's like, you know, it is a little humbling
when those are the things that people engage in more than our profound thoughts and insights. - Let the court that we spend
so much time writing, no. Toilet paper Boom! - Toilet paper, Puuh! Yeah. - It's so funny, its awesome. - Blows up, blows up.
