The Invisible Force - self-image – enables you to achieve great goals | Dan Lok | TEDxStanleyPark

I'm gonna explain an idea that every child should learn before they go to school yet most people go through their lives never really understand it I'm going to explain an idea that will help you learn and understand and apply every single piece of information knowledge and insight that you'll get from all the fantastic speakers that you've been listening to for the rest of today or any other day an idea it would take what you learn to a whole new level I'm gonna explain an idea that is so transformative yet so simple that has the power to completely transform your life by a show of hands how many of you know someone in your life that is in great shape that's very fit yet doesn't even try to stay in shape at all probably how you know those people yeah don't you just hate those people and how many of you know someone in your life that maybe a couple that's been together 2 3 5 10 years 20 years but they still have that spark they still have have that connection and they're still very much in love put your head if you know a couple like that yes and on the other hand how many of you know couples have been together maybe just a couple of years and yet they want to strangle each other put your hand you know something like that nice nice a couple ladies elbowing their spouse as that's very nice that's very nice and this isn't even my idea and it's not a new idea but it's something that I become aware of dr. Maxwell Mars around 1960 said he was the greatest psychological discovery of his generation and that's the concept of self-image you see you and I we have an image of ourselves it's how we see ourselves when you look in the mirror there's a reflection coming back from the mirror that's the reflection of your physical being but that's not how you see you instead you see you in your mind you see you in your mind if you're wondering well then what kind of self-image do you have it's very simple all you have to do is look at the very aspects of your life take a look at the results you're getting parcel your relationships your body your income the position you hold at work the business you operate in your personal appearance all these things are the results of the outer expressions of your inner self image now so why great white white great ideas alone are not enough why great ideas along are not enough to change our lives you see one of the great mistakes that most people make is they are attempting to change their body their arch am telling to change the relationship they are telling to change the income their finance they are telling to change something outside of themselves in searching something that's inside with themselves some people see themselves as conservative and unsafe are they gonna do anything crazy are they gonna go bungee jumping or skydiving no unless your trunk or something like that so you're not gonna do anything crazy or Act not unless you're drunk now you might say it's the alcohol but really it's just you finally getting permission to be yourself the alcohol is just an excuse if you are playful if you're fun if you're outrageous you're gonna talk differently gonna move differently you know dress differently maybe in a red suit and you're gonna do things differently and there's no right or wrong but most of us have trapped ourselves in an old self-image and never really update who we are today so then when you go and learn a new skill when you go learn a new ability a new idea but we're stuck in this self-image this is who I am and that's why we never surpass it let me give you a metaphor there so make sense for you let's say in this room that we set the thermostat at 70 degrees let's say that 70 degrees it's a metaphor it's a what metaphor for your comfort zone which is also known as your self-image your comfort zone and most people have goals that are larger they're more than their self-image and that's why most people don't get to their goals unless they alter and/or expand the self-image so 70 degrees it's your comfort zone 70 degrees it's your body not your goal not where you want to be eventually but what you're comfortable with 70 degrees is your the amount of love and passion and connection you have in your personal intimate relationship again not your goal but you know what where you live with what you live with regularly 70 degrees is the amount of money that you need to make to be comfortable not your goal what you're comfortable with let's say the temperature drops to 65 degrees now what happens is your brain goes hey hey hey I'm a 70 degree or not a 65 the heaters kicked on you feel this a drive and this dis urge and you want to do something about it by show of hands how many I've ever had experienced part of life maybe your body maybe your income maybe your relationship where it dropped and you fell it's not good enough and you fell this incredible try to do something about it yeah but it's with that way I'm gonna say oh yeah oh yeah and from there and you try something and it doesn't work and you try something else and it doesn't work and you try something else and it doesn't work now after a while nobody wants to be a disappointment no one no one wants to feel like a failure in their lives so what some people do is they lower the thermostats they lower their expectations they make their goals smaller more realistic more reasonable don't get your hopes up or you'll be disappointed well you know maybe maybe not I'm not a 70 70 degree maybe have 65 degree year look at those 70 degree people so arrogant so fooled themselves they're probably workaholics anyway I'm being smart I'm cutting back I'm downsizing I don't want to burn myself out I don't have more balance in my life now before you know it they're at 62 then they at 58 now by the way when you add when they act when there's 58 today Hara hang around with 70 degree people know they hang around with 50 degree people so they feel better about themselves on a regular basis why do you think people watch reality TV you know what I thought my life is a mess look at these people on TV instantly if you better about yourself now but you're at tax obviously you're not like that you're an overachiever yes you know achiever so when each when it's supposed to be a 70 degrees yes 65 what do you do you do something about it yes you don't settle you try it you try something else it doesn't work you try something else it doesn't work you try something else it doesn't work you don't settle you don't give up and you don't give in if you hit a wall you go around it you go over it you go under it whatever it takes you do it and and do you stop at 70 degrees no you keep going until you hit 80 85 90 91 92 93 99 degrees and your brain goes hey hey hey what do you think you're doing up here you're not a naughty degree who do you think you are get back to where you were and suddenly you realize you're outside of your comfort zone and then the heater stopped and you lose your Drive and you begin to self-sabotage yourself and you stop doing what got you there in the first place and you start doing some dumb things making some dumb decisions until you get back to exactly where you think you deserve to be now how many of y'all know I'm sure none of you have done this but how many of you have seen other people sabotage himself yeah I thought so I thought so you see the strongest force in human personality is the need to remain consistent with how we see ourselves the strongest force in human personality is the need to remain consistent with how we see ourselves so the image that we hold of ourselves controls our successes and our failures and also impacts every single area of our life let's say you have an self-image of someone who's overweight and you don't want to talk about it and you don't want anyone else to talk about either but until one day you just you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna make a change I'm gonna do something I want to lose weight cuz I'm tired of being single it's always good to have that extra motivation and you go on a diet and you go join a gym not that you go but you join a gym and you go on a diet and what happens use start to lose weight why because you're stopping yourself you don't eat anything white you don't need anything sweet no more chocolate no more candy no more french fries no more soda because you believe they make you fat but that's not not what makes you fat it's the self-image that makes you fat you see when a person who's overweight goes on a diet without altering their self-image any weight loss will be temporary that's why you see people gain and lose a ton in a lifetime look at Oprah see what whatever you lose your automatic program to find whatever that is lost when you step on the scale when you start to lose while you look at the scale that's that's not really mean not consciously but subconsciously that's not who I am I don't deserve this and then BAM you put the weight right back on now everybody go ahead touch the chair just go ahead touch your chin everybody say isn't that interesting we become self prisoners of our own self-image we become self prisoners or own self main image years ago I met Mike and Mike as very good friend of mine fit healthy family man very successful guy and Mike had a habit of getting up 6:00 a.m. in the morning and he would run for an hour he'll run for an hour and sometimes when we travel together we'll get to the hotel quite late but doesn't matter he would give it 6 a.m. in the morning and he'll run for an hour and it didn't matter where we were it didn't matter the time zone if he was raining he would run indoor on a treadmill even in the parking lot if necessary and he in fact he never ever missed a single day in 11 years now during that time sometimes he was sick sometimes there was an emergency but he never ever missed a single day and one day I couldn't help and I said Mike how do you develop such discipline how what what gives you this kind of motivation to get up 6:00 a.m. in the morning and run like what is your secret he simply said Dan I'm a runner so I run hmm I'm a runner so I run see the source of Mike's motivation didn't come from his self-discipline it didn't come from his willpower it came from the self image of himself as a runner as a runner he is a simple truth we all act consistent with who we believe we are we all act consistent with who we believe we are so why don't great I like radius along or not enough to succeed why don't we do things that we know deep down that are good for ourselves and good for others pilot by show of hands how many of know someone who is a smoker but wanting to smoke and they because they know that it's not good good for them it's not good for the family put every hand even know someone like that yes let me give you a very simple strategy foolproof method 20 years of research guarantee the work you ready here we go stop putting that cigarette in your mouth and lighting it duh see you smoke because your smoker makes sense doesn't it but you weren't born a smoker in fact I guarantee your first time you smoked you Poirot your body part rejected it and you probably call but your friend said hey dude just keep smoking you'll get used to it and you did eventually the coughing stopped and you got so good that you couldn't help just you stop yourself from smoking hmm we all act consistent with who we believe we are now why am I saying this with you see we all know what it takes to change and transform and better our lives now how to is usually not that complex it's not that complex but that's the first place that everybody looks it's a human nature if I want to lose weight how do I do it I want to grow my business how do I do it how do I do it if there's any gift that I came by to give you today and is this is to remind you what you know deep down already and do something about it because today you get some amazing spectacular ideas you'll be entertained you'll be informed you'll be inspired but instead of saying there hey you know what that's interesting promise yourself that you would just take one idea just one one idea and apply it in your life do one thing that you don't normally do just one your mind would go oh I don't do this I just did it hmm maybe I could do this hmm maybe I'm more who knows right there you start to alter and expand yourself image my mentor said to me years ago something I'll never forget he said Dan hell on earth is meeting the men or woman you could have been hell on earth is meeting the man a woman you could have been so why are you listening to other speakers go ahead put up your right hand please touch your heart ask yourself three questions who do I have to be to dream again and who do I have to be to live the life I want and who do I have to be to produce the results I want yes that's the question who do I have to be to produce the results I want when you have the answers to these questions you will have the key to make your great ideas succeed

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 751,124

Rating: 4.9097786 out of 5

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, Canada, Life, Achievement, Faith, Goal-setting, Happiness, Ideas, Impact, Life Development, Mindfulness, Personal growth, Self improvement, Self-help, Success

Id: C5dyGh3oMVQ

Length: 16min 37sec (997 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 16 2016

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