All right, well, uh,
let's get back to real life or whatever we're calling
this thing now. Donald Trump will be the next
president of the United States, and it's a confusing time. But luckily
we've got news experts. Trump won. So what now? We have no idea
what Trump is gonna do. We may not know
who we're getting. There is a great unknown about
what Donald Trump is gonna do. REPORTER:<i>
Nobody on the planet knows</i> <i> what Donald Trump's gonna do.</i> That's true.
Nobody on the plant knows what Donald Trump's going to do,
including Donald Trump. He's making it up
as he goes along. His presidency
is basically gonna be a high-stakes improv scene. "All right, folks,
I need a character "and a location and something
much better than Obamacare. Thank you, thank you.
Thank you." I'm not surprised that people
are terrified at the prospect of a Trump presidency.
I mean, you've probably heard of many Americans saying
they want to move to Canada. Yeah, which is slightly
presumptuous, in my opinion. You know? Like Canada
is just gonna wave you in. You realize that Canada has a
very strict immigration policy. To be eligible, you have to name
at least six cities in Canada, which is actually pretty easy.
I mean, it's... There's Vancouver,
there's Montreal, uh, Quebec, uh, Toronto... um... Nickelback, Celine Dion. Cool.
So anyway... since Trump's victory... You realize I've been asked
that question by many people. A man in the audience asked me
that today, whether or not I am going to run
away back to South Africa. Which I find slightly ironic,
you know? Before Trump, there were people
who hated me who were saying, "Go back to Africa!" Now it's people
who like me saying, "You should go back to Africa,
man. You should really go back
to Africa." But-but here's the thing,
here's the thing, running to Africa
won't necessarily shield me from Trumpness.
Because, remember, when I first started hosting<i>
The Daily Show,</i> I said Donald Trump reminds me
of an African dictator. And we have the evidence
to back it up. I make a tremendous amount
of money. People love me.
Everybody loves me. God helped me
by giving me a certain brain. We will have so much winning
if I get elected that you may get bored
with winning! Yeah. Remember that?
Remember that, right? And-and that's what I said.
He reminds me of an Af... Although, I-I will admit,
now I feel like I owe African dictators an apology,
uh, you know? They were probably watching
this election like, "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. "I might kill people, "but to grab someone
by the pussy, "no, no, no, no, no. No. "No, no, no, no. "I have decorum. "I have decorum, huh? "What kind of a man grabs it? "You touch it,
maybe you rub it, huh? "Why are you grabbing it? "Maybe your hands are small. That's why you have to grab,
huh? No, no, no, no, no." Now, the thought, the thought
of Donald Trump as a dictator was funnier when him in power
was hypothetical. But then America decided
to shake things up. And now it seems like
the best place for you to find the answers about a possible
future lie in the third world. Which I know can be hard
for a lot people, because you usually look
to the third world only when you want to guilt trip
your kids when they hate their
Christmas presents, you know? "Well, I'm sure
some kids in Africa "would love to get
this educational computer game, Timmy." And don't get me wrong,
I-I know that hearing about foreign politics
can sometimes be drier than Marco Rubio's tongue.
But-but bear with me here. Bear with me here.
Looking at leaders like him may be the only way
to figure out Donald Trump. And I'm thinking specifically
of my home country, South Africa, also known
as the one African country you can easily find on the map,
right? Yeah. It's just like, "Africa.
Uh, there. Cool." Up until a few years ago,
our economy was humming, tourism was thriving,
and we, too, were celebrating our first black president. You remember that feeling?
Yeah, yeah? You know that feeling?
Basically, times were good. REPORTER:<i>
After 27 years, Nelson Mandela</i> <i> walked out
of Victor Verster Prison today.</i> (singing) SEPP BLATTER:<i>
The 2010</i> FIFA World Cup will be organized
in South Africa. (cheering and applause) MAN:<i> South Africa's
Oscar Pistorius won the day.</i> MAN 2:<i> Oscar Pistorius is
the Paralympic champion!</i> ♪ Of life... ♪ Oh, man, so many good memories. I was in the crowd when
the Simba thing was happening. -(laughter)
-That was... Yeah, we had to stop doing that 'cause the next year,
he dropped the cub. -It was weird. Anyway...
-(laughter) The point is, things were
looking up for us as a nation. But unfortunately,
in the last few years, things have taken a turn
for the worse. The economy has stalled. Unemployment is at record highs. Government corruption
is rampant. And it wasn't just Oscar
Pistorius who disappointed us. Just last year, Simba was
arrested for securities fraud. (laughter) Yes, so why did this all happen? Well, I'll tell you why. Because South African voters
decided to shake things up. And, so, we elected a man
by the name of Jacob Zuma, a charismatic,
anti-establishment president. And I know you can't relate,
but bear with me. Bear with me. You see,
the inept, self-serving way that Zuma has run
his administration has turned South Africa
from a rising power to a very troubled state. And the reason
I'm telling you this is that because when you look
at Zuma and Trump, it seems like they're brothers
from another mother. In South Africa,
that country's high court says the nation's president,
Jacob Zuma, should face more than 700
corruption and fraud charges. Donald Trump has over 400
lawsuits against him right now. WOMAN:<i>
Zuma is building his reputation</i> <i> as the man of the people.</i> Donald Trump is
a man of the people. MAN:<i> Jacob Zuma's most avid
supporters can be found</i> <i> in rural areas and townships.</i> His supporters are overwhelmingly
rural area voters. MAN:<i> He was also charged
and then acquitted of rape.</i> He has a rape status conference
with a judge coming up. MAN:<i> Jacob Zuma was called
"The Teflon Politician."</i> I've said it time and time
again. He is the Teflon Don. Yup. Just like my president, Donald Trump appears
to be Teflon. Literally, Teflon, though. I think that's what
he's spraying on his face. -(laughter) -That's why
it looks so strange. And now, look, all of these similarities
are amusing on the surface. What's more important
is understanding what a leader like this
could mean for America. For instance, let's...
let's just look at what Donald Trump said
just this week. MAN:<i> The president-elect says
he plans to place his company</i> <i> in a blind trust
to be run by his children,</i> <i> but the legal experts say
the definition of a blind trust</i> <i> is that it's run by people
not in contact with the owner.</i> Yeah, it's a bit weird
that we have to say this, but, Donald, the point
of a<i> blind</i> trust is that you can't see
where your money is. It reassures the country that their president
isn't making decisions for his own financial gain. If your kids,
who you talk to every day, are running the trust,
then it's not blind. You see, it's the difference
between Ray Charles and Jamie Foxx<i>
playing</i> Ray Charles. -(laughter)
-Right? -(applause)
-One of them is blind. And one of them is faking it,
and getting rich in the process. (laughter) We saw the same thing
in South Africa. Jacob Zuma started off
like this. He was like, "Oh, my kids
are gonna run businesses." And they do.
They also run businesses. And then, those businesses
have won billions in inflated government contracts which has cost the taxpayer
millions and billions of dollars,
and they screwed the economy. So what's another one of
Donald Trump's signature moves? If I win, I am going
to instruct my attorney general to get a special prosecutor to look into your situation. It's just awfully good that someone with the
temperament of Donald Trump is not in charge
of the law in our country. Yeah, because you'd be in jail. Oh! -(sniffles loudly)
-(laughter) I wonder if... (laughs) We're probably gonna have
to cut this, but I'm like, -can his dealer get to The White
House? Whatever. -(laughter) So Trump using prosecution
to intimidate his opponents-- it might seem like a novel thing
in the U.S., but just like soccer, you might
want to get used to it. You see, it's called
"state capture." Hijacking state resources
for your personal benefit. And by the way,
the term "state capture"-- we didn't know that term
in South Africa until this year. Now we just use it in common. Like, everyone's just like,
"Ah, state capture." "Yeah, state capture,
state capture." It's become a normal thing
because in South Africa, it's a tactic that Zuma has
exploited again and again. For instance, this year, when the finance minister
of South Africa called out our president
for illegal business dealings, Zuma ordered our FBI to prosecute the finance
minister on dubious charges. Oh, and just in case
you're wondering, we don't call them the "FBI." Our agency is called the Hawks,
right? And before that,
we called them the Scorpions. And, yes, I know our law enforcement agencies
sound like gangs in a bootleg<i> West Side Story, </i>
but we like it. -(laughter) -It makes us feel
at home, you know? It's not only great for intimidating your rivals,
as well. It's also good
because it distracts the people from the problems you're having. And now, I'm not saying
that Donald Trump will do that. But if he does,
you guys owe me 20, all right? For everything that you look at, Zuma and Trump even feel
the same way about the media. And the media are among
the most dishonest people -anywhere at any time.
-(crowd clamoring) But they can't stop us. They write lies,
they write false stories. They know they're false,
it makes no difference. The election is being rigged by corrupt media pushing
completely false allegations and outright lies. It's exactly the same. It's almost like when they leave
the house, Melania is like, "Okay, Donald,
I do Michelle's ones, you take the African guy's
lines, okay?" (laughter) You see, when you're the head
of government and you're trying
to get away with (bleep), a free press is not your friend. It's the reason that President
Zuma has been trying for years to get the legal power
to censor South African press, or as Donald Trump
would so eloquently say... We're gonna open up
those libel laws, so that when<i> The New York Times</i> writes a hit piece
which is a total disgrace, we can sue them and win money. So we're gonna open up
those libel laws, folks, and we're
gonna have people sue you -like you never got sued before.
-(cheering) Yeah! I love the crowd cheering
like they're getting the money. We're all getting
the money! Yeah! Now, now, again,
I'm not saying that Trump's definitely gonna do that. But if it's true,
I'm not gonna be able to say that later on. So I may as well say it now. Now, luckily,
Zuma hasn't been able to muzzle the press
in South Africa, right? Because he doesn't have control
of South Africa's court system. That is a big hindrance to him. But a hindrance that El Trumpo
may not have to face. -He's gonna be filling
the lower courts. -Mm-hmm. There are dozens
of district court vacancies, federal court of appeals
vacancies, and these are the courts
that actually decide the vast majority of litigation
in the United States. ...at least one
Supreme Court justice, maybe as many as four. NEWSMAN:<i> Trump will potentially
shape the court</i> <i> for a generation.</i> Now, look... there are many differences
and many similarities, and I'm not saying
it's going to be the same here as it is
in a Third World country,. Of course not. I'm saying
it could be much worse.
The similarities were actually shocking. I am starting to realize how badly we need to start reporting global events on national TV because I had no idea this guy existed and was this bad. And he is just the South African version of Donald Trump.
And was credibly accused of rape.
Fun fact: The woman (whom Zuma claims he consensually slept with) was HIV positive. Zuma admitted that he didn't use a condom, but said that he took a shower afterwards to be safe.
Wasn't a big fan of Trevor before but Trump being president may be great for him in the way that Bush was great for Stewart. Nobody's better suited to point out the similarities between Trump and third world dictators than Trevor, and maybe the country can start finally getting the message. We think it can't happen here but it is happening; it's happening right now before our eyes. Then again, who knows how long until Trump shuts down The Daily Show.
If he's like zuma keep eye on Trump towers building new wings with public money
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