How Make Women Swoon on Craig Ferguson Late Late Night

[Music] [Applause] yoga Nestle yes when I was very little we were robbed on the train from nice to Venice so it wasn't a great trip yes our whole train was robbed by my Italian train thieves they actually just the greatest story I've ever had but apparently they drugged us really badly yes I woke up to my dad screaming we've been robbed oh no you're kidding but they stole my gameboy games which was devastating joy yes it does a terrible story yes so apparently someone else they there was a British woman who was writing an article about Italian train thieves so she and her husband were taking turns staying up all night feeling like it might happen so the guys came into their compartment grabbed their suitcase and her husband chased the train thieves down the hallway and they're rifling through the bag as they're running and they go oh you don't have it I can't do an Italian accent pretend us Italian I said you don't have anything great and threw it back he didn't pursue them further but yeah they robbed her whole train the administer of the drugs to get you to fall asleep they said this sounds ridiculous but it's true they said they apparently sprayed something in our room that made us all knock out and not wake up because oh they're also in cahoots with the train conductors they had the keys to all of our train compiled we really should do a movie about this where's miss a guy not wicked like this then oh yeah oh so sweet anymore do you want this actually do you know what you don't want but I hear but you've got the gal well that's what I'm saying the robot skeletons coming on Monday this was my filling Jeff Peterson Jeff Peterson yeah now so this was my kind of fill in because you I need to have a robot skeleton for a while okay so that was just like a teaser yeah well this is this is just a hand this one doesn't have a name you could name him if you want it seems kind of unfair doesn't have a name I know we should probably give him a name what about Simon Sam is a nice name your bands rubbish yeah [Applause] [Music] I had in all honesty I had my most embarrassing moment on the set of that movie a couple till now till now until now but I I find that at work I much like you I'm rarely caught off guard like you can kind of work through any joke and sometimes I feel like I make a living embarrassing myself and I the the towards the end of the film I play a publicist and I'm giving my brother a wedding gift and I'm supposed to introduce Hall & Oates and I say oh I had a tough time deciding what to get you but then I found the perfect gift ladies and gentlemen Daryl Hall and John Oates so on the day I have the entire cast in front of me Daryl Hall John Oates right behind me if they were here oh yeah the real ones oh wow I get upstage and I say you know it took a long time to figure out what to get you guys for your wedding but then I thought the perfect gift ladies and gentlemen completely blanked on where I was what I was wearing I mean no idea completely forgot their names I mean their music icons Craig yeah yeah what are you a little no I mean I had had a lot of Diet Coke okay but the thing was cuz they're not Halle notes they like to go by their first name so Daryl Hall and John Oates and all the Sun through my head I was going dick Hall Mickey Oates Ron Hodge Jimmy Oates and I was going through all these things in my head and I couldn't and I was looking at my cast completely caught off guard and they're all whispering it to me so finally I yelled the name run off stage and then I came home and my boyfriend said to me you know you should have said ladies and gentlemen Daryl Hannah and Quaker oh yes yes yeah but it's it won't be in the movie but I I do kind of hope that it will be on the DVD extras somewhere my most embarrassing moment cuz it is just utter fear I want to ride the horse [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] they've got you got kangaroos hangers of stuff no I dare ya my dad he decided after he retired he wanted to have his own private Wildlife Sanctuary in Vesta and he decided to buy kangaroos and so he has investment-wise money in kangaroos but um yeah so I have right ah TV and Charlie you really have yeah yes in that case do you recognize these why I expect it to squeak I drew a face on an implacable Esther well I wanted them to be less threatening to certain gasps oh my god wow they're a little bit threatening that's for could you guess the average weight and size of a kangaroo from just the testicles I don't know must be my topping action yes very good take me back to the Crazy Horse okay this is for you thanks very much look he's got a little chicken leg a chicken from your book because you said in an American on purpose you had a 40-pound white cat that broke into the fridge and stole the chicken leg out look we're not so bad that actually yes you're right thank you so much that's the door I'm gonna put it right up here next to this thing that I can't tell you what it is thank you and and inject it again for chair I did a skeleton dinosaur my favorite well I think we all learned a buin as a lovely girl everybody right Jeff right [Applause] pleasure dungeon fancy maybe the throw getting awkward pause or do you want to go for the big cash prize big cash value do what time is it [Applause] [Music] in a bag with the dollar sign on it in quarters in fourtner's so you can use it for parking yes exactly that was good act that was good active now there are three ways to count them three ways you can either answer a question you can guess what's in my box here's how that works I imagine a box in my head I don't know what's in it only Jeff knows what's in it you try and guess what's in it if you're right you win the money if you're wrong or the new option can you guess what Her Majesty the Queen is thinking we've imagined a scenario we've imagined the scenario where Her Majesty the Queen has been wrongly imprisoned we're trying to and we're trying to guess what she's thinking I'm not trying to steer you well I just I'm fond of this one because it's new plus I am very fond of it it's our Juba Lee year okay we're thinking all right you're gonna guess what the queen is think okay sorry thinking hold on Oh what I have to set it up what I don't know all right you ready who is tawdry bauble [Applause] like you did good [Applause] a new score in front of our match I'm sorry your majesty that's just the kind of language you're gonna hear in prison unfortunately [Music] [Applause] hey oh by the way quick update remember when you came here last time you just came back from Australia yes yes give me those kangaroo testicles yes I gave you right yeah that's a kangaroo you know you're probably wondering Craig where are the kangaroo testicle okay good news great yeah this one well one of the guests here was going to the North Pole I said well you'll need good luck take my kangaroo testicles as long as you bring the back yeah correct and you had a lot of luck from them here's them at the North Pole [Applause] [Music] yeah when Wendy brokers bringing him back right and she's saying look these little they made it all the way on their own welcome back my next guest is an extraordinary woman she's the first person with multiple sclerosis to reach the North Pole and she took my balls with her that's not a joke all will become clear please welcome the remarkable Wendy Booker everybody so did the balls get smaller oh we need to talk about the balls oh you did bring back [Applause] they've still got their little happy face on them in Ellicott Hat do you know how much pressure there is taking someone's balls to the North Pole is that code that you put me under a lot of pressure I realized well when you were here before the expedition I was like oh this is a dangerous thing and I thought maybe the kangaroo testicles would help your new way you took some photographs listen your mother was Scottish your father was a talent that's right have you been over to the old countries either one I have I took my mother back to Scotland which was an interesting is she hadn't been you know my mother came to this country when she was 11 by herself it's won the race sad story my grandmother had run off with another man my grandfather had six kids to raise my mother's a youngest and he couldn't afford to take care of me so they put on a boat and they sent it to America Wow so she comes here when she's 11 by herself and and so I said well I'm gonna take you back to Scotland oh wow don't you want to go oh I can't figure out why she doesn't want to go yeah because I know she wants to go all right so it turns out my father who was a prizefighter a very loud Italian guy he took my mother down to get her citizenship papers and to become a citizen if he had more than five questions wrong you didn't pass Wow so my mother got five questions wrong and the sixth question was what is the US Constitution my mother said it's a boat and the judge said will you fail my father what it's a boat is in Boston Harbor it's a boat my father argue with the judge you judge Runkel fine fine fine you get up you're sick so sixty years go by and my mother is afraid that the judge has put a note somewhere so I take him down to get a passport and she's shaking she tells me this story I think you're fine my dear $17.99 glittery ball in the little bit of tape make yourself a little studio 54 in your apartment yeah just like in the old days in New York that's what I mean yeah that's what I'm saying we're gonna try to sell it trying to sell it you know trying to sell no no no you think I didn't do a good enough job no no you did a fine job no no it was a passive-aggressive piece of this you want a piece of this a piece of art yeah come over here I'll I'll slap you to death yeah come over here do you know what I wish other late-night talk-show host that weren't working today because his Memorial Day would torn me or something hello hey Jay Leno yeah what are you doing that is good there go dog you did out here cooking some meat you know let's see if I get that glittery ball yeah I looked pretty good there's a good deal $17.99 the tape for free I was studio 54 it's like Jay Leno is a fly [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] I'll be back in eight months [Music] can never get rid of from Kenya well I wonder if other late night hello did sir Jimmy Fallon no that's great that ball a alright again

Channel: Late Night w/ Craig Ferguson

Views: 52,064

Rating: 4.6170211 out of 5

Keywords: craig ferguson, craig ferguson moments, celeb, awkward celeb, celebrity, craig ferguson laughing, late late show, show, talkshow, comedy, night show, tv show, late night

Id: roBZUNm7URw

Length: 15min 28sec (928 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 08 2019