How BAD is Samurai Cop??? (PART 1 of 2)

well guys I'm finally back from my New Year's break it's funny because I call it a break but it really wasn't a break the whole time I have been working on other stuff for the channel there's some new cool ideas that I have coming into this new season and I can't really talk about them yet because they're not done but the point is is that I'm back and we're doing some new bad movies which of course I know all you are excited for so this is another one of those movies that you guys have been requesting frequently for a long time now and what's funny is that I while I was writing this review someone actually requested it again on the Facebook page so here it is finally samurai cop I would have to say this is probably it's up there with troll too easily as it's a movie that you just have to see so even though you've watched this review to get the full effect you got to watch it there's just so much to talk about that's why this review is going to be so long because I had to stop the movie probably every 60 seconds or so and write something down it's amazing it's it's almost like they were true you couldn't make a movie this bad if you were trying so it's easily one of the best bad movies I've ever seen and obviously a clear guilty pleasure of mine but what's so amazing about it is that it just it manages to fail so incredibly at every single element I have I have no words for it I mean troll 2 had so many flaws from a technical and acting standpoint but I felt that at least that movie tried to have a plot I mean it wasn't good obviously but at least they made an attempt yet the plot for samurai cop is I really don't know but I'm just going to tell you that this is one of those movies that you have to see I am actually recommending watching this movie because it really needs to be seen to be believed once again I'm going to start off by talking about poster for this movie because like a lot of bad movies it's kind of misleading first off you're we're going to see the samurai cop in a police uniform at all so just kill any hopes that you had of that right now throughout this movie you'll see him mostly in jeans and a leather jacket that or a speedo it's obvious that he's decapitated someone here and that never happens in the movie then there's this badge down here with some Japanese writing now I don't know Japanese at all but I actually tried to see if I could translate this using whatever tools I could find on the Internet and the best that I could come up with is that this says contact blood hot water eyes of blood now I don't think that's actually what that says but you know what this movie anything is possible and the intro music to this movie actually kind of reminds me of old 80s Nintendo games then the movie just abruptly starts with Gerald a Kimora who plays a character called a Kimora talking about how they're not an established gang yet at this point I wasn't sure if he was the boss of the gang or what but that's why it's good that we have read here to clear things up here comes the boss so this guy Fujiyama is the boss which is now obvious because of his cool shades that actually reflect the film crew which is also probably why they're just abruptly gone in the next shot Fujiyama gives the order to go and kill the leader of this other gang so this guy Yamashita takes the gang over there to go kill them come yelling in no way we go under Yama's black I mean wow did you decide to record just that guy's ADR in an echo chamber or what so yamashina stabs the boss and then there's this hilarious fight scene which is one of many and you can tell with some of the shots here they just under cranked the camera to make it look like it's all happening very fast and this is actually going to happen a lot in this movie the funny thing is the scene doesn't end up showing the dead bodies of the other gang it just ends with the faces of the bad guys and Yamashita's saying the job's done but the job isn't done I mean all you did was stab the guy and you can see him clearly walking away in this shot so yeah I mean he could have survived that but anyways then we have the shot of a police sign and with a few of the shots in this movie for whatever reason I think they just didn't roll the camera long enough so they have to use a lot of shots to the very last frame and this could be either that they didn't roll the camera long enough or that the editor is terrible but I wouldn't be surprised if it was both it probably is when you're shooting on film once you stop rolling the last few frames of the shot will be flashed because as the motor stops the roll slows down so the last couple frames are exposed for longer which is why unless you're trying to save as much film as possible and you're working on a shoestring budget it's always a good idea to stop the roll about a half second to a second after the director says cut that way you leave a little bit of buffer room on the reel and trust me your editor will thank you for this anyways we're now introduced to samurai cop and I have to say the first time I saw this I nearly fell off of the couch I actually thought he was going undercover and that this was some sort of terrible disguise with a wig and a hat probably because it's obvious that it is just a wig and I love how the Hat can't fit because of it so it just kind of has to gently sit rest on top of the hair you know like how - pegs wear them these days it's obviously not his hair in this shot it is it he has long hair in the movie but in this shot that is completely different hair that is obviously a wig my guess is that this was a reshoot that they did after they were done you know principal photography so he probably cut his hair between then and doing this reshoot that's the eye who cares so anyways samurai cop and his partner Frank go to do a drug bust and this of course leads to a hilarious car chase which consists of the bad guys shooting at them and samurai cop constantly telling Frank to shoot them - shoot him - shoot him shoot shoot shoot you got it even when they hit a guy and then run over him the reaction is just priceless hey man watch it watch it oh man of course as you would expect it ends with the van crashing exploding and a stunt guy being lit on fire then samurai cop tells the chick police officer in the helicopter that he'll see her later at her place and then we just cut to this and trust me it's not the last time we're gonna get a scene like this either seriously this movie has just as many long and pointless sex scenes as the room that we have this scene and at first I didn't know what was going to happen but thankfully once again red is there to clear things up the boss is coming so the boss freaks out and says he wants the drivers head cut off and put on his piano which seems like a reasonable request so they go to the hospital as represented by this shot really you couldn't get any closer you just had to shoot the building through these trees okay fine so samurai cop and Frank go to check on the driver of the van and here we have probably one of the worst scenes of all time I'm gonna try and go through it piece by piece first they asked the nurse if he can answer a few questions and she says not for a few weeks because he's all burned obviously and then it goes right to this do you like what you see I love what I see would you like to touch what you see I mean wow is she a nurse or a Bourbon Street hooker and samurai cops reaction is incredible yes yes I would would you like to pop me bingo Wow how could any woman resist his charm so she grabs his junk and says that there's nothing there and these reaction shots from Frank are almost unbearable especially when they just use the same two shots repeatedly the funny thing about that scene is that it's completely pointless entirely I mean you try and paint samurai cop as this ladies man throughout the movie but then you add in just this one scene where he gets dissed up completely and you may be thinking oh she's the one who's a challenge to him you know maybe she'll show up later in the movie and become the love interest but no she's just here for this one pointless interaction so samurai cop tells another officer not to let anyone in the room unless they're a doctor or a nurse but then red shows up posing as a nurse and says she has to change the garbage because you know apparently that's what nurses do instead of janitorial staff turns out that Yamashita was hiding in the cart and he proceeds to cut the guy's head off so they're being followed by security on their way out of the hospital but once they get outside they're confronted by what appears to be just random people and the funny thing is they just double the same voice for each person and this happens multiple times hey wait a minute I'll talk to you ah oh hey wait a minute stop aah you're the one that talked me into bringing this moron from San Diego to fight the child Japanese get done a gang yeah that's definitely the take you should go with the one where the actor flubs is like a man in our custody lost his head an officer lost his hand who who lost their hand seriously this had me scratching my head for a bit I actually went back through the movie trying to find out where a police officer loses his hand and guess what never happened and I'm actually convinced that this may hold the record for the amount of times one week is said in a scene it's hilarious this man has been here one week and I almost lost my job if he's here one more week I might we'll end up in jail and die of a heart attack and I don't want that hey I've been here one week and just how long will it take you to bring them to their knees one week this also has one of the weirdest and most awkward ends to a scene I've ever witnessed yeah you son of a bitch come back here you mother now this next scene takes place in a restaurant and you know the mark of an on actor when they look directly at the camera so in this scene samurai cop confronts Fujiyama in the restaurant and I'm just going to bring this up now I mean they call him samurai cop because apparently as they explained in the movie he received his samurai training from the Masters in Japan which I find interesting because he doesn't seem to display many of the characteristics of a samurai things like nobility honor self-control and I also love how they say he speaks fluent Japanese which is probably why he stumbles over those Japanese names with his name Omaha Yamaha whatever his face his name is right are you food Fujiyama now the speech he gives in this scene is hilarious and he basically threatens to kill the boss and his gang were you I'm a cop now I'm telling these son of a bitches that we respect the Japanese of this country who are honest businessmen and yeah this is the land of opportunity for legitimate business now I'm telling these motherfuckers that if they continue killing our children to make their precious Millions that they deposit in their secret Swiss bank accounts I'll have their stinking bodies in garbage bags and ship them back to Japan for fertilizer and the really funny part is at the end when he even threatens the guys lawyer who has really done nothing wrong then we have one of the most bizarre and pointless interactions I've ever seen in a movie where's her father bang who shot him he who him who's him he fell oh he committed suicide yeah outside we finally get what I guess you could call a fight scene and this is a good opportunity to bring up the seemingly endless and random cast of characters that are part of this gang I mean being a Japanese gang I kind of assumed that at least most of them would be Japanese but instead it's quite the opposite I've never seen so much diversity in a criminal gang before I mean it pretty much runs the gamut it's almost like they just went around Los Angeles asking every single person they saw if they wanted to be in a movie that's probably what happened here and to be honest it wouldn't surprise me if that was the truth because a lot of these people are clearly not actors so we have this fight scene which is hilariously choreographed and leads to some pretty awesome moments like this

Channel: FanboyFlicks

Views: 476,578

Rating: 4.9107785 out of 5

Keywords: Comedy, Funny, Hilarious, Bad movies, movie reviews, Bad Movie (Film), movie review, Reviews, fanboy flicks, horrible movies, worst movies, worst movies ever made, Action Film (Film Genre), Dvd, B Movie (Film Genre), Samurai cop

Id: dk9VblbYjaE

Length: 14min 22sec (862 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 01 2015