How BAD is Foodfight???

this movie has been requested so many times in the past and I just never wanted to do it because honestly just looking at the movie is enough to make me bored if I just see a screen cap from the movie like a still image that's enough to tell me mark you better stay the hell away from this thing if you bout if you value your well-being at all because you may want to hurt yourself I just knew it was gonna be a difficult movie to watch even just from a visual standpoint alone and I was right it was almost impossible I mean just look at this thing the animation and the textures are so bland it looks like a crappy movie from 20 years ago seriously it looks like some kind of looks like one of those 3d demos that came with Windows 95 penny if you remember Windows 95 when I first came out actually I bet some of you probably weren't even born yet wow that's do I doing with my life now for those of you who don't know foodfight is a movie that actually went into production right at the beginning of the new millennium and apparently in 2003 all the hard drives containing all the work they had done on the movie were stolen now I'm actually really curious about that situation I'm more interested in how that stuff was stolen than the movie because that's not interesting at all I just have questions like how why who of course this led the filmmakers to have to start from scratch using whatever money there was left and kind of explains why the movie is as terrible as it is partly I mean I say partly because yeah okay we all know you had to you know remodel everything and maybe reanimate but the writing and the dialogue well that that's been there since the beginning obviously so oh they stole the scripts we have to rewrite the script with a horrible writer this time not by you not by that one still don't know how that happened and the producer went on record of saying that it was an active industrial espionage I don't even know what that means I've got the files Moneypenny all the shitty animations here I'm on my way back to MI Fitch now that was terrible I don't even know why I attempted that I can't do shon-kar I can't do anybody what am I saying I should do that I should do a video of my impressions it would be funny just because the impressions would be so horrible way off and why and why would he be telling this to buddy Betty Lee he would be telling em or Q anyways what they ended up with was auctioned off for a couple of million dollars that's like two point five million dollars and then it was distributed and they even made merchandise I think actually if you go on ebay you can find some merchandise people just take the worst pictures sometimes on eBay like it this is supposed to be the I guess the weasel from the movie that's just his face and that leads us to where we are now an unfinished movie about food mascots which takes place in a grocery store and features the voices of a lot of actors actually just to name a few there's Charlie Sheen Hilary Duff Wayne Brady Eva Longoria Christopher Lloyd there's a bunch of others too I'm not even gonna go through it though now I guess this was supposed to be a kids movie but a lot of the jumps in here are obviously not for kids you better go easy on the potato juice before you get chip-based there's no seven-year-old sitting there watching this going oh chip faced instead of shit-faced I get it now when you look at the poster for this movie you'd probably think alright doesn't look too horrible I mean probably not a great movie since it has a lot of product placement obviously just based on the mascots of the cover but this cover is extremely misleading since well the character models are fully rendered now this cover gives you a much better idea of what you're truly in for when you're gonna throw that DVD into the tray when the movie starts you can instantly see what I mean this just looks beyond awful like I said this never got finished so pretty much all of this isn't fully rendered which leads to the bland textures and hilarious things like this light post going right through this car now you should get used to this sort of thing because it is all over this movie so anyways the owner of the grocery store closes up for the night and this is when all the craziness begins and I really don't understand this I mean everything changes this doesn't make sense why are there streets in this place now with cars and grass and fields and all this type of [ __ ] this is all supposed to be in the grocery store one of the reasons Toy Story worked so well is because the characters had to interact with the environment the way it was there's no highway going through Andy's bedroom at any point and it's just difficult to watch like I said this is is this a different world we're in now is this an imaginary place is this all in their heads do they come alive at this doesn't what this is its own world with miniature people and animals and mr. clean I guess farting frogs I don't know so Charlie Sheen plays Dex a dog detective and Hilary Duff plays I don't even know what this is cat person I mean what is this the island of dr. Moreau apparently her characters named sunshine goodness and she's the mascot for a company that sells raisins and where was the marketing department for that company how to lunch that day or just insanely drunk all right people we got to sell these raise and so let's come up with some kind of a mascot you know a happy little character that will be synonymous with raisins I mean frosted flakes is Tony the Tiger I don't know about you guys but every time I see a toucan I think of Froot Loops so so what are we gonna come up with well well look at a character will people look at and say yes I want some raisins well if the Internet has taught us anything is that people seem to like cats and pretty girls so why don't we just combine the two and is some kind of a human feline hybrid thing and boom I mean look at that how could you not want to buy those raisins I'm hungry just looking at her Dex is going to propose to Hilary Duff's cat thing so he asks Wayne Brady's squirrel to be his best man and I never realized how perverse that sentence sounded until just now after I read it now at first I had no idea why these tears were brown but I guess it's because he's made out of chocolate you know I was beginning to think that I was never gonna get to see a movie where Wayne Brady voice - chocolate squirrel Hollywood you've done it again so they're talking about the whole proposal thing and suddenly she just appears right next to them kicking around a watermelon that thanks to the animation can go right through this kid's head gee I don't know but you guys but suddenly I have a craving for some milk specifically from farmland dairies don't know why though Dex wants to propose to cat girl but stuff keeps getting in the way kill dog you can pop the question tomorrow night don't worry any like is the last time we ever gonna see sunshine again oh yeah I'm sure that's not foreshadowing anything I'm serious when I say this movie is just extremely difficult to get through it's just so unpolished that every instinct is just screaming at you to turn it off in just the first couple of minutes so it's six months later now and I guess cat girl has been missing the whole time and McGruff keeps having nightmares about trying to find cat girl that start off with flying Donuts I guess Dex is no longer a detective and is running a night club instead so now this club is obviously very popular and for some reason is filled completely with terrible dancers I've honestly never been to a club before where I've heard music from CCR or seen dancing like this huh hey what's going on like these boos how about a drink now there's this new chick in town and she represents Brand X products which apparently the store owner can't prevent from replacing all of his name brand products after a while I'm trying to seduce Dex and a bunch of scenes lady X just knocks him out and I guess throws him along with Dan into a clothes dryer which is unlike any dryer I've seen me where's the hologram coming from and what kind of a dryer uses flames to dry clothes now I'm no Maytag repairman but seems to me that if you've got fire you know coming out of your dryer then you might want to look at a replacement so Brand X is creating an army of XO bytes and if you don't know what those are well join the club because neither do I so they somehow end up on a shelf in the store so I guess we're back to reality now no longer in magic food city I mean I'm not they weren't really clear on how the how the grocery store worlds crossover but whatever now dan is trapped on the shopping cart being pushed by I guess this is supposed to be a woman and her son Wow somebody actually drew that and got paid for it so suddenly Dex flies in on a two-liter bottle of something Wow I mean I get that the thing took off once the cap was broken and there was a lot of pressure but here it's just hovering somehow somehow they go through this door and into some place I guess this is the office or something because there's a computer a really flamboyant computer by the looks of it and I guess they could just talk to the computer I like it as if it was one of them for some reason and also there's this bat in the scene who I think keeps trying to hit on Dan so Dex is using the computer to try and get rid of the Brand X orders when he finds out that the Hilary Duff cat girl raisins were recalled and look at this in the picture on the computer she just looks like a regular girl so why did they cross her with the cash earlier in the movie anyways Dex starts up a resistance with a bunch of the others and this is really the part of the movie that you've been waiting for since the beginning the actual food fight but again like everything else in this movie it probably would have looked a lot better if the animation process was finished that way I bet the food wouldn't have just disappeared into the ground here and for some reason all the food is exploding even cakes and strawberries somehow and check out the animation on this I mean you can't help but feel kind of bad for the movie 45 million dollars to start and this is how things ended up now for some reason a bunch of them are using tinfoil and making sculptures of random things with it of course the bat makes a sculpture of Dan because he wants to bang them it turns out that these are lightning rods and Dex is big plan is to cut down an electrical pool so somehow it will create a lightning storm and destroy all the Brand X buildings this is the this is the big plan and I got to mention this now I mean some of the lines of this movie are just so unbelievably bad like just listen to this I'm gonna pop your corn lady what is that even supposed to mean imagine if someone said that to you I wouldn't know if it was a threat or if they were coming on to me okay now are you ready to see the most impressive piece of animation in this whole movie because here it is this sheet I'm serious and it's so funny that throughout the movie different lines of dialogue vary in audio quality from the same character I'm fine nobody saw that all the lightning rods are in place I guarantee it somehow Dex just walks right into the Brand X headquarters where they're making all the poison gas or whatever don't know why it was so easy for him to just walk in but okay and then he just throws a hook around this pipe pulls on it and this destroys it really Dex finds out that Brand X had Hillary catface kidnapped this whole time I'm not the one who's gonna be poppy whipped you cold farted itch what now this doesn't make any sense at all Dex pulls the rug out from under the bad guys feet but that wouldn't work because she's sitting on a chair on top of the rug and now comes the best part the injection gun goes flying into the air she throws Dex a raisin which he spits out at the gun pushing it into the bad guy you know what I'm just gonna finish this review right there the rest of the movie is pretty much what you'd expect the bad guys lose and get beaten up and then everything works out for the good guys laughs now this is one of those movies that was painful just to get through just writing this review it felt like work which is probably why it took so long however it should be said that I feel that this movie is kind of a victim of circumstance don't get me wrong I think there's a lot here beyond the animation that is completely terrible but I really think the most glaringly obvious thing here is the unfinished animation if the animation was completely finished and it had a decent sound mix to go with it I still don't think it would be a good movie but I just feel that it probably wouldn't stick out so much I also think that the product placement was pretty lame but I mean there's a ton of that in movies these days you just don't notice it as much probably because the products aren't actual characters in those movies like they are here now apparently the producer has come out and said it's technically not product placement it's cross promotion but I mean come on whatever who cares it still is obvious and blatant and distracting and now we answer the question of how bad is food fight well I'm giving this movie a 9 on the bad movie meter for terrible dialogue characters and most of all it's crimes against animation now if you'll excuse me I have to get started on writing my next review right after I have a nice cold Bud Light Platinum for a strong beer it's surprisingly smooth mixed with Bud Lights crisp refreshing taste okay do I get paid now no I don't play fallout shelter I do but well I'm actually done I hate it's so stupid well why does the game do that there we go you're only allowed to have 200 vault dwellers it's like okay well I guess I'm done they won't let me build any more rooms or anything I thought the whole objective was to build as many as you possibly can before everybody dies and yet that the game just tells me well can't build anymore mark sorry guess the games done now I got all these vault dwellers just like everybody's on a coffee break you know you you can't put everybody in all the rooms you're going to have some overflow so now I just have all these people wandering around some are working some aren't and some are out in the wasteland doing god-knows-what and yeah joy no point to play the game anymore don't even give me an end to the game like if there was some kind of you know ending achievement with like yeah you made it to 200 vault dwellers and you've built all that you can and you know something with I don't know like confetti or some [ __ ] on the screen I don't care just give me an end to the game we're still months away from November 10th so you need something to tide me over Batman won't do it well I'll probably do it for about two weeks that's it you

Channel: FanboyFlicks

Views: 382,345

Rating: 4.9118676 out of 5

Keywords: Foodfight! (Film), Animation (TV Genre), bad movies, movie review, Reviews, fanboy flicks, horrible movies, worst movies, funny, hilarious, Comedy, worst movies ever made, bad special effects, Humor, Film (Film)

Id: I1Neqx1qv2E

Length: 17min 4sec (1024 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 20 2015