Holy Matrimony Pt 2

well we're back with holy matrimony part 2 I want to welcome you here to Zion Church for this special occasion today this is the day we celebrate the resurrection of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and we're grateful to him when welcome everyone watching online right now wherever you may be so grateful that technology allows us to connect like this we're so excited we started Zion Church Woodbridge today and I heard that was awesome they say they couldn't see me because I had an all-white like a Good Humor man know you like skin like this the white though you off like that the reason why this day is so important to us is because it is what it is this day that separates Jesus completely from every other world religious leader you know Buddha was born to and he lived and he died and he was buried and and that's it and Joseph Smith he was he was born and he lived and he died and they buried him and that was it and Confucius was born and he lived and he died and they buried him and I was it Mary Edie Smith was born and she lived and she died and they buried her and that was it people still go to visit the grave and Muhammad was born and he lived and he died and they buried him and that was it but Jesus Christ was born of a virgin and lived a sinful sinless life and and died for us was put in Joseph of Arimathea is tomb now Joseph of Arimathea is in there because Jesus went in Friday but he left Sunday and he was seen by five hundred witnesses while he was on the earth for 40 days then he ascended into heaven the Bible says he seated at the right hand of God the Father right now interceding for us and one day he's coming back to get us and that distinguishes him from every other were a religious leader so we celebrate him today is going to be a little different kind of Eastern service because I'm in this series called holy matrimony it's about marriage and this is part two and if you missed part one it's cool let me give you a quick review what we covered in part 1 and you can also go to Zion Church online calm or Zion Church live.com and you can see the message on demand whenever you like but before I get into today's message let me just say to singles today I want you to eavesdrop in on this sermon because this is all about the role of a husband and wife in a marriage and but you need this information if you're single let me tell you something new tell you the truth for a single person this is the truth a lot of single people really really want to be married and a lot of married people really really want to be single and so you jump into this thinking it's like like on TV there's some things that you can learn about being a wife and a husband they may sober you a little bit to your ideal view of it so today I want to talk about the S word and before we get into that let me do a quick review on what we covered in part 1 and part one I gave two takeaways the first one was I talked about how expectations in a marriage is ruining a lot of marriages it's hurting marriages because these great expectations you got two people sitting there expecting the other one to behave in such a way and conduct themselves in such a way that will make the other that would make each other happy and so these expectations when they're unfulfilled causes great emptiness and disappointment in the marriage and a lot of marriages could do a lot better if we would eliminate or dumb down the expectations as a matter of fact I said in part one expect nothing from your marriage and what would be more accurate expect nothing from your marriage partner the only person you should have expectations of in your marriage is you because you are the only person you can control so you can have expectations of yourself but stop putting your spouse more than anybody else calls you more frustration more anger more disappointment because we have this great expectation that they will make us up anybody else can disappoint us and let us down it won't hurt as much you want to get deeply depressed let your spouse not meet your expectations and say and so the key is is not to keep the expectations there the key is is to let them go release them release your expectations because let me illustrate it for you let me Gillis tration the Norfolk State Spartan men's basketball team won one game and n-c-double-a tournament won one game anyone it was a big game they weren't expected to win they beat the Missouri Tigers Missouri Tigers were to see Norfolk state was a 15 seed and it was a big upset at the same time the Kentucky Wildcats won six games in the same tournament including the national title game but I'll guarantee you if you go to Norfolk State University campus those basketball players I looked at as just as big a heroes as the kentucky wildcat team on both campuses they're big men on their campus you know why expectations you see if kentucky had only won one basketball game in the tournament and they have been eliminated in the second round it would have been a disaster and a failure of mammoth proportions why because the expectation is very high for them on the other hand the fact that nobody in Norfolk State expected them to win a game they are elated that they want something you know why because when you expect nothing you appreciate everything and the same is true in a marriage relationship so we talked about that that was takeaway number one the other takeaway was it was the challenge to have to prayerfully have a transparency talk with your spouse where you can openly share your flaws I mean your fears your failures and your fantasies with your spouse because the ultimate goal is that everybody and everybody wants to be loved man there's nobody that doesn't want this one another human being to love you to genuinely love you but you cannot know someone genuinely loves you until they have clearly until they have need you you know they've accepted you and you could because they can't love you if they haven't accepted you truly love you and they can't accept you until they first see who you are until you've revealed yourself to them and they can't see who you are until you tell them the truth about who you are and this is very risky right here because you could tell somebody the truth about who you are your flaws your failures your fantasies your fears you can let somebody see that and then they might reject you and not accept you and they might turn you they may turn you away well that's the risk of this conversation and some people don't want to have this level of conversation because they're afraid of rejection well to me you have nothing to lose because if you're in a marriage and you don't feel love you already feel terrible hello you feel terrible already anyway so if you open up yourself and you reveal the truth about you are who you are and your spouse rejects you you're only going to feel more of what you already been feeling anyway nothing new will happen but what if it works if it works you have hit the relationship lottery you've given your marriage a chance to go to another level now so have that relationship talk have that transparency talk get it done now today we're talking that's word if you have a Bible turn the first Peter chapter 3 first Peter chapter 3 I want to look at verses 1 through 7 first Peter chapter 3 and in this passage of Scripture in first Peter chapter 3 Peter is addressing contextually Christian wives who are married to unsaved husbands so you got these women who believe and they are married to men who are unbelievers and they're going about trying to win their husbands to the Lord trying to get them to be followers of Jesus but they're doing it the wrong way and so Peter comes along and says and gives them a more excellent and expedient way to get it done and so that keep that context in mind now with that in mind understand this that even though he's primarily addressing unbelieving of believing women who are married to unbelieving men the principles that he's going to share apply to any marriage regardless of the spiritual status of America it can be it can be both people are saved or both people are unsaved or the husband can be saved and a wife can be unsafe it does at the end of the day the principles work whether regardless of the spiritual formation or the spiritual condition of your marriage but he is primarily talking to unsafe to save women about their unsaved spouse and he says in the same way you wives verse 1 you wives must accept the authority of your husbands that's where I get the S word from right there that's where it is submission submit I call it the S word because to some women that's like cussing he says in the same way you eyes must accept the authority of your husband's then then even if some refused to obey the good news your godly lives will speak to them without any words they will be one over verse two by observing your pure and reverent lives so he jumps out right away and says listen you got you your job is is to accept your husband's authority over your life and he says do it in the same way but we didn't tell us in the same way as wet so in order to find out why chapter 3 verse 1 will say in the same way wives submit to your husband's authority you got to go back to chapter 2 and see what he just said and if you go back to chapter 2 and verse 18 it starts off by saying verse 18 for context you who are slaves must accept the authority of your masters with all respect do what they tell you not only if they are kind and reasonable but even if they are cruel verse 19 for God is pleased with you when you do what you know is right and patiently endure unfair treatment then he goes on in verse 21 to 25 and says and also I got another example of Jesus and how he humbly submitted himself to the will of the Father so when he gets to chapter 3 verse 1 he says in the same way you wives the same way way the same way a slave submits to his master whether the master is nice or naughty the same way Jesus submitted to the Father in silent humility to the will of the Father that's the same way a wife is supposed to submit to her husband's leadership it was quite like this the rest of the day so they don't bother me they ain't no lady talked to me the whole day and sure everybody just walk right on out just walk right on submission submission this is divine order God has called women to submit to their husbands authority that is your biblical responsibility to submit to your husband's authority it is it is it is it is for the purpose of order now you might want to write this down submission is not in equality it does not mean that you're not equal to your husband as a matter of fact when you get down to verse 7 it says that that husbands and wives are equal part nurse it also doesn't mean when you talk about comparing slavery to marriage those are not on a part of equality even though he says submit like a slave to a master it doesn't make a woman a slave that's not what he's teaching he's saying but that your posture should be one that you don't base whether or not you're going to submit to your husband based on how he acts or based on whether or not he treats he's kind about it or not it is your role of responsibility to submit to your husband that is your role and responsibility even if he's not a Christian some women get saved and they get over five of Lord and then their husband is not there spiritually then they try to diss the husband like he he he man enough cuz he ain't spiritual like you so cuz you can quote scriptures and sing worship songs and shouting hallelujah and he's not real spiritual like that now you feel like you ain't got to submit to him you're supposed to submit to your husband regardless of where his spiritual condition is it is your responsibility to do that it doesn't make you inferior to him it does not make him superior to you when it requires from both parties is humility it takes humility for a husband to lead a woman that he knows is not inferior to him and it takes humility for a woman to follow a man that she knows is not superior to her it takes humility and I think God shows the picture of humility in submission even in the Godhead in the Tri unity of God I believe that when within the one essence of the One God coexist three distinct persons who are co-equal in Co eternal that not one person in the Godhead is less God than the other it's not like God the Father is like the real God and then Jesus is like Junior God and then like the Holy Spirit is apprentice in though God the Holy Spirit is God God the Son is God God the Father is God as a matter of fact it ain't even like this is like this in fact in fact those are just their titles father is his title son is his title Holy Spirit is his title for what for the redemptive plan of God to function and to be carried out is for orders sake because there must be order even in the Godhead and if God can be equal to in it be equality in the Godhead but two of them take on voluntary roles of submission so much so that the son only does the will of the Father the Holy Spirit only does that which magnifies the Sun for the redemptive plan of God to be executed they carry out these voluntary roles of submission but at the end of the day they sit around a round table of equality the same is true in your marriage you know what submission is submission is having the humility to let another lead it's saying that is your role that is your function my role is to follow you support you and pray for you that is your function ladies and guess what it's not just about function the text says because remember the ultimate goal was was to win this man from being lost a film is what Peter is saying if you take this sacrifice and put yourself in a position of being a woman who is submissive it won't just help in the function and order of your home because there's a lot of chaos in homes because women are not submitting to their husbands if you would do this you not only could help with the function and order of your home but you can help with the redemption of your husband he says this thing actually has evangelistic power to it look at what it says in verse 1 he says then if you do that if you accept the authority of your husband's then even if he refuses to obey the good news your godly lies will speak to him without words he will be won over with our words you can win them it's a silent witness without words not preaching at him ladies I say ladies it is possible to for your for your for your conduct your conduct to win your husband over your conversation you can win him with ours it is I know you've heard in the Bible where it says you know faith comes by hearing so you want them to hear that word that's why you preaching to him all the time but in this verse faith comes by watching so the question is when he watches you what does he see hmm so you can't browbeat him with the Bible and you can't harass him about going to church when you gonna stop going fishing on Sundays and why you gotta play golf on Sundays how come you always going with your boys shoot basketball and watch the colonies winking you're like I play I go read football games on Sunday why don't we gonna go to church and then you win them out and all and the pastor was preaching about you anyway today pastor preach about you the whole sermon was about you siren was about you I can hear anything I just anything anything you say I just saw your face that ain't going with him pastor was preaching about me time for men to step up uh-huh step up uh-huh leave this family spiritually Devil running roughshod in here children running amok you can't do that that's not even your job any lady that's doing that I got one word for you stop it doesn't work number one and two you're supposed to win them in silence so stop putting the scriptures on this dresser and stuff like that he go to get his razor and it's a verse of the day in there he don't don't don't keep you could get in his car you've been messing with a CD player and it's a sermon plan when he get in the car don't do that kind of stuff when you're watching the game drinking a beer don't walk past him and say ain't no TV or being Hale good that kind of stuff is that's just messing it up silence take all that stuff to the Lord take it to your small group I know y'all talk about us in small group go to your small group and Dawg let's just talk about us in there talk to the Lord about it but when it comes to guys do not do that you can win them with our words your character can winner and so that's the goal now men let me say this to the brothers if a woman is supposed to submit to our leadership that's what she's supposed to me - its submission to our leadership then we as men have got to grow as leaders grow in your leadership do not you your wife should not have to dumb down who she is so she can accurately as to your little fragile ego and your little immature adolescent behavior grow up slim step up your game learn something get into context where you can be stretched as a man read the right stuff you shouldn't be the same man you were ten years ago you got to grow your wife should be able to flourish up under your covering she shouldn't have to dumb down and put a lid on who she is she should be able to grow right with you you've got to grow man and back to the ladies submission is about attitude with verses 1 & 2 is how might as well attitude because some women will submit with an attitude gone lead gone lead the Bible say League only lead then so he tried to ask you for some information that he needs to lead and you won't get to what you need it for me yuda lead you in the car he's trying to go somewhere you like I'm just submitting that's what I'm doing cuz the Bible says submit I'm gonna submit mm I wouldn't did it like that that was dumb but I ain't gonna say nothing i'ma submit that that stuff Luca Brasi who ain't laughing do today laughing this so first he talks about attitude in verses 3 and 4 he talks about attire he starts talking about attire this is major right here he says in verse 3 your dress needs to be congruent with your witness to him don't be concerned verse 3 about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes you should clover yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which is so precious to God hey so listen listen so so he starts all my women's attire externals and it when he says W hang about your hairstyle he's not saying you can't do your hair he's not saying you can't put on jewelry he's not saying you can't wear nice clothes but it shouldn't be so over-the-top that watch this that it eclipses your internal character because watch this the word that he uses is so powerful he uses the word for outward beauty that word in the Greek is cosmos cosmos is where we get the word system from order it means systems or order that's what cosmos means cosmos is the opposite of chaos chaos is disorder chaos is disorder cosmos is order cosmos where we get the word cosmetics from so when a woman is putting on cosmetics she is getting herself in order and she is overcoming the chaos that preceded the order GERD cosmos that's why it takes so long they in there so long so so so so he says it's okay when you do your cosmetics when you do your outward beauty don't don't bring it down bring it down so that it's not so it's not so over the top that it watch this fact what he says is make sure it's congruent so so so when you're getting yourself in order make sure it's in line with and it's in harmony with and it's congruent with your witness because remember you're supposed to be pure and you're supposed to be under file and you're supposed to have a gentle and quiet spirit and you supposed to be winning your husband and your inward beauty should be coming out so make sure that watch this that even though your husband wants you to be attractive he don't need you to be nasty because if you're nasty in your attire you will appeal to his lower nature but it will confuse him with your witness that's the thing you can't be a freak and a preacher you can't be freaky in your dress and then preach to him because it's gonna throw him off so you got to be congruent you understand he's got to be is okay so you got it it's got to be like it's a wrestling balance so you can't you can't have this way up here and you just all flying you got all your nails in the end everything is bling because when you turn up the external you automatically turn down the internal because nobody can hear your heart because everybody's seeing your outfit so in order watch this when you stand out that's you speaking but when you turn some of that down then Jesus gets the mic and he gets a chance to talk now when Jesus talks he can reach your husband then in verses 5 and 6 he gives an example of some ladies who did it right in verse 5 he says this is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful watch this they trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands that's how they made themselves beautiful they made themselves beautiful by trusting God and respecting the authority of their husband they said that makes us beautiful what that's not the definition of beauty we here today how about beauty now is trusting God and accepting the authority of your husband that's beautiful and you got to do it in that order you got to trust God then accept it you cannot how many see some women are naturally submissive but not all of them how many women here no you need Jesus to submit you don't even lie you need the blood you need blood baths that's what you need you Jesus Jesus cover me you're so strong and so independent and you got your education your money you skull you need Jesus you got to trust him to trust him ooh that's good you got to trust him to follow him and pray for him that God will lead him and stay in your lane now submission does not mean that you never get to express your thoughts or your feelings you got two adults in a relationship everybody's opinion matters but don't make all of your opinions complaints that's the problem if every time you have a conversation with your husband is a problem it's a complaint it's always a concern it's never applause it's never hey good job with that I'm so proud of how you did that with our children or so I'm proud of how you handled essence it's always a complaint you have a right to raise concerns I'm concerned about our child I think you should notice about our children or I'm concerned I know God's you know you're the head of our family and I'm praying for you but I do have concerns concerns about how much money we're spending in this area you can let your you can let your thoughts be put out there respectfully but don't always talk negatively now here's what here's what Sarah does in verse 6 the Bible says Sarah obeyed her husband Abraham and called him master now in the Greek when he says she obeyed him it's written in a tense that says that she didn't just do that one so occasionally that was her pattern her pattern was one of submission she she she she postured herself as a follower of her husband's leadership and the Bible says that was beautiful now let me talk to the brothers verse seven is about the guys interesting is only one verse to the gaps with six verses to the ladies I said it was six verses to the ladies it was wonderful now either means y'all got a lot of issues as ladies y'all need a lot of help with or that we can't handle a lot of information all at once so verse 7 no it's not in the same way you husbands must give honor to your wives that word honors a key word treat your wife with understanding as you live together that's a key word she may be weaker than you are but she is your equal partner key words in the gut and gossips of life treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered that's a loaded verse right there let's start with honor says first of all you got to honor your wife it's so funny to hit people that usually real talkative doing sermons ain't saying nothing to date everything good good honor honor cannot be overvalued in a relationship it can not be overstating stated the importance of honor and you know what honor doesn't come naturally in a relationship most relationships at Rifai towards dishonor naturally that's how it goes so you have to fight to keep honoring relationship for example let's just say you know when relationships first starts there's a whole lot of honor when it first starts like even the first week of marriage like that first week it's nothing but honor if if you're a wife and you sneeze you can be upstairs your husband hear you sneeze he'll run upstairs say baby you you sneeze that's just checking see if you're I just make sure you I don't want you to ever get sick you need some echinacea sand orange juice vitamin C what you need girl I got tissue but good okay I heard you sneeze that's why I ran up here that's weak one five years later she and the bear sneezing and coughing he like you need to take care of that because you won't get me sick I got to go to work coughing and sneezing them as you go in another room and be that's how it goes got kids now bills situation pressure and you like that no more right so so so it's natural it's a natural extra feet towards dishonor so you know what you had to do get to fight that thing if you say God helped me to honor this person help me and what happens is one of the reasons my honor is so high when you first get married is because you're still blind to their faults to some degree but the more you're with a person the more imperfect you see that they are then it's easy to dishonor him so you have to say God help me to honor my spouse then he says in the next phrase he says treat them with understanding when you live with them understanding guys that means you know you're supposed study your wife you have to be a student of your wife dr. Tony Evan says every man needs to study two things the Word of God and his wife and both are difficult to interpret to be a student yeah study your wife you got study you got to know her likes or dislikes her preferences things she doesn't prefer things that give her security things that make her insecure you got to understand those things about her and it's a moving target sometimes it changes on you but one thing every man particularly men in this service need to understand if you're married you need to understand that women are complex and one of the complexities of women is something that happens to their body every month and you've got to understand it you need to know your wife's menstrual cycle you need to know the day she comes on that needs to be in your phone on your day-timer somewhere you ain't jokin you need to know that when your wife's period comes on you need to know the day it comes and you need to know some of the days leading up to it when she real like ain't real g real meaning about stuff as PMS a pretty mean sister that's what that is right there need to know that day put a little Astra beside it maybe I shouldn't ask for nothing here today just be quiet and clean up just stay out the way and you need to know the day she's ovulating because that is a day the Lord has made and I said we shall rejoice and be glad in that desert day I know the Lord made that day that's a day the Lord is coming to do is looking at what was all elated we hurry up I think what he laughing what's a belated let me Google that how you spell ovulating you need to study your wife know her menstrual cycle no you know the mood swings and all that stuff that goes with it not so these you can withdraw and be frustrated but so that you can step up and understand and be sensitive to those times that's what you got to understand and then then when it stops is something else is going had to learn study your wife next thing he says is she may be a weaker vessel but she's an equal partner she may be weaker and the Bible never says a woman is weaker intellectually or spiritually but she is naturally weaker physically and we've got to respect that and protect that so if you're in bed and it's 2 o'clock in the morning and your wife hits you and say I heard something downstairs you can't say we're going down here and see what it is hurry up I got my phone if you scream I'm gonna call now I'm on my way let me say one more thing before I get out of here look at the end of verse verse seven this is deep treaty as you should so your prayers will not be hindered Wow you ever want to know how important a woman is to God a woman is so important to God that if you don't treat her way right he won't even listen to you pray there's only one other time in the Bible where God says he won't hear your prayers because you're sinner sinner messing with a woman you don't even pray that's deep right there man now if you ain't no brand man just don't matter to you like always worry about that but if you like me and you need God having anybody hit me I need I don't play if I if God let me go for five minutes I will backslide so fast and be like Crisco oils on my back I I need God I need them I have necessary conversation with God can you imagine if some trains got shut down like not you're gonna say to me go back and get that right with her that's sobering right there so let me wrap this up here's here's the conclusion I would summarize this passage like this two takeaways one for wives here it is humbly submit to your husband it's gonna take a lifetime to do it husbands honor and study your wives honor and study your wives something I don't get hungry I just don't care that's relational trifling Ness you don't like it you're like you're leave let me give you another takeaway I got this this is just going to be easy that's a legend take it takes a lifetime to honor and study somebody takes a lifetime to humbly submit to somebody that's why I believe marriage was meant for a lifetime because it takes that long to work what we prefer is we like versus the last about 2 or 3 years because that's when they're fun then you wanna get a new new spouse to start over and just keep having fun but we don't get to grow that way one more take away I'm done schedule a time every day to pray together as a couple schedule a time every day to pray together as a couple everyday schedule it and do it yeah I mean you don't feel like doing that now I ain't feeling that pred thing look I'm uncomfortable right you'll get comfortable but I don't feel like it this thing about what you feel you don't feel like going to work but watch what happen if you stop going we can't wait till we feel like doing the right stuff man what were you going to do some kids now I don't feel like that pray together as a couple talk together if you haven't done it started if you used to do it and stopped it restart it if you if you've been doing it step it up add some worship to it or something read something but you must consecrate yourself in your marriage it is the biggest bullseye on Satan's target list in your life is your marriage so talk to God sit down together kneel together whatever it is and talk to God talk about your kids to God talk about your marriage talk about your finances your future your dreams pray for other people pray for other families pray for your extended fan pray for your pastor and his wife and their children pray for us yeah name me call my name hmm pray pray together and schedule it every day and don't schedule in a time where you're rushing rushing to get out house we gotta be able to house myself and I 658 let's just let's pray I give it some to get up earlier then give it some quality time to talk to God together alright I'm great closing prayer and turn it over to the AI campus host thank y'all for being with us and to the campus the lead pastor the campus where you are let's pray father thank you so much for this truth may it transform our lives help us to not just applaud your truth but apply it to heat it and I just hear it we really need your help this is easy to listen all this stuff in church but when we get back in the context of our all our relationships with a rubber mr. row we need your help that and those times the most in Jesus name Amen

Channel: Zion Church

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Keywords: Zionchurchmd, zionchurchonline.com, Keith Battle, zionchurchlive, Zion, Church, Maryland, Holy, Matrimony, Marriage

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Length: 35min 51sec (2151 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 12 2012