WE ASKED 100 MARRIED MEN, NAME SOMETHING AN EX-GIRLFRIEND WAS BETTER AT THAN YOUR WIFE. [BEEP] S**. [LAUGHTER] YOU SO DAMN STUPID. NAME A REASON A MAN THINKS HIS WIFE LOOKS AS YOUNG AS SHE DID THE DAY HE MARRIED HER. ALCOHOL. [LAUGHTER] THAT'S THE BEST ANSWER. FILL IN THE BLANK. IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'D NEVER BLANK AGAIN. CHEAT. CHEAT. HA HA HA! [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE] I LOVE YOU. THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING YOU COULD HAVE SAID! WHAT ARE YOU? AN IDIOT? GIVE ME CARLY! GIVE ME DARRIUS! [CHEERS] GET HIM, CARLY! GET HIM! "GET HIM, CARLY! GET HIM!" YEAH! DISTRACT HIM! DISTRACT HIM? COME ON, DARRIUS! [DARRIUS BARKS, GROWLS] WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT YOUR WIFE OVER THERE? WHAT IS THE LEAST SEXIEST PART OF YOUR WIFE? HER STOMACH. MM, YEAH. OK. YOU GONNA MESS AROUND, LET THIS GAME GET YOUR A** WHOOPED. [LAUGHTER] NAME SOMETHING YOU CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT OF AT THE END OF YOUR DAY. MARRIAGE. [AUDIENCE GROANS] IT'S NOT THAT FUNNY. IS THERE A LAWYER IN THE HOUSE? YEAH. YEP, YOUR A** IS IN TROUBLE. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ONE PART OF YOUR HUSBAND'S BODY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? JOYCE. HIS P****. HIS P****! HIS P****? I KNOW. HE'S HAVING A ROUGH DAY. IF YOU COULD GET RID OF ONE THING IN YOUR LIFE FOR A WHOLE YEAR, WHAT WOULD YOU CHOOSE? ALEX. MY WIFE. HA HA HA! [AUDIENCE GROANS] HA HA HA! TONY SAID HIS WIFE! TELL ME THE LAST THING YOU STUCK YOUR FINGER IN. MY WIFE, STEVE. YOU OK, MA'AM? I'M ALL RIGHT. I'M ALL RIGHT. DON'T DO THAT NO MORE. THIS IS JUST A GAME WE'RE PLAYING HERE. YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THIS WOMAN. [LAUGHTER] THIS MIGHT BE A TIME TO JUST TAKE AN "X." NO. OK. ALL RIGHT. WE ASKED 100 MARRIED MEN. THAT'D BE YOU. WE WANT THE NAKED TRUTH. WHAT PART OF YOUR WIFE'S BODY LOOKS BETTER WITH CLOTHES ON? HER BREASTS. BUT THEY LOOK GREAT WITH THE CLOTHES OFF, TOO. NO, NO, NO. NO, SEE. SEE, I TOLD YOU. I TOLD YOUR A**. BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING. I SAID, DARRIUS, YOU NEED TO THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING. I COULD NEVER MAKE LOVE TO SOMEONE WHO LOOKS LIKE MY WHO? MY LOVELY HUSBAND! [LAUGHTER] YOU DON'T SEE NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, NANCY? NO, SIR. IT'S UP THERE, STEVE. IT'S UP THERE, STEVE. COME ON. IT'S UP THERE. LARRY, NAME SOMETHING A DIVORCED MAN HOPES HIS EX-WIFE WILL DO. DIE. WE'RE NOT DIVORCED. DIE. NATE, THIS OUGHT TO BE GOOD. YOU'RE MARRIED AND SHE'S RIGHT THERE. NAME SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR WIFE YOU'D NEVER MAKE FUN OF WHEN SHE'S AROUND. HER SMELL. I DON'T KNOW. HA HA. I WOULDN'T DO IT WHEN SHE IS AROUND OR NOT AROUND. JUST... YOU DIDN'T THINK THIS ANSWER OUT AT ALL, DID YOU? ALL RIGHT, PAUL. A MAN SHOULD WAIT UNTIL HIS DIVORCE IS FINAL BEFORE TELLING HIS WIFE SHE'S WHAT? CALLING HER A [BLEEP]. [AUDIENCE GASPS] IT'S UP THERE, STEVE. IT'S UP THERE. I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING, PAUL. WOMEN DO NOT LIKE THAT. NAME A JOB THAT'S DIRTY BUT SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT. THE PLUMBER. [BUZZ BUZZ] TRY AGAIN. OF COURSE. UM, DIRTY... GYNECOLOGIST. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] YOU MARRIED, ROCCO? NOT YET. A COUPLE MONTHS. [LAUGHTER] YOU BETTER CHECK WITH HER AFTER THIS ONE. TELL ME SOMETHING SANTA CLAUS MIGHT GET RID OF WHEN HE RETIRES. MRS. CLAUS. [AUDIENCE "OHHs"] HEY, GOOD ANSWER. OH. OH, OH, OH. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT. NO BUENO. HEY, MAN, Y'ALL MAMA DOWN THERE. I KNOW. Y'ALL NEED TO CUT OUT ALL THIS LAUGHING. YEAH! USING THE BARTER SYSTEM, WHAT COULD WE GIVE YOU IN EXCHANGE FOR YOUR MAN? KENYALA. BREAD. HA HA HA. HUH? BREAD. BREAD? I'M SORRY. DAMN, JODY. JODY... USING THE BARTER SYSTEM, NAME ME SOMETHING WE COULD GIVE YOU FOR YOUR MAN. LOAF OF BREAD. [LAUGHTER] MAN. WELL, JODY, ALL THAT SERVING THE COUNTRY AND RIDING ON THEM COVERT OPERATIONS YOU DONE FOR THIS COUNTRY. DRIVE A BLACK HAWK? YES, SIR. PILOT BLACK HAWK HELICOPTERS IN THE MILITARY, SAVING OUR COUNTRY. GREAT GUY. YEP. SHE'LL TRADE IT ALL IN FOR SOME BREAD. NAME SOMETHING YOUR WIFE MIGHT BE BETTER AT IF SHE TOOK LESSONS. SEX. HOW LONG--OH, GOD. NAME SOMETHING YOUR WIFE MIGHT BE BETTER AT IF SHE TOOK LESSONS. OH, MY GOSH! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WAS THINKIN'. YOU SAID... IS YOUR WIFE HERE? NO, SHE'S NOT HERE. WE WENT OVER THIS. WE WENT OVER THIS BEFORE. [LAUGHTER] WE GOOD. WE GOOD. [LAUGHTER] WE TALKED ABOUT A GAME SHOW, AND THERE COULD BE SOME ANSWERS THAT MAY NOT BE IN THE FAVOR OF YOU. BUT THAT'S NOT HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU. I'M TRYING TO WIN $20,000. YEAH, YOU THINK THIS THE BEST WAY TO WIN THIS $20,000? [LAUGHTER] IT'S UP THERE. IT'S UP THERE. [LAUGHTER] IT'S NOT MY WIFE. THOSE MEN'S WIVES. NOT MINE. THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID. I DIDN'T SAY IT. THAT'S WHAT THEY SAID. THEY. YOU AIN'T SAYIN'. THAT'S RIGHT. THAT AIN'T YOUR ANSWER. THAT'S THEIR ANSWER. THAT'S THEY ANSWER. I'M SPEAKIN' FOR THEM 'CAUSE WE GOOD. YOU'RE SPEAKIN' FOR THEM 'CAUSE WE GOOD. WE GOOD OVER HERE. COME ON, MAN, LET'S HUG IT UP. COME ON, LET'S GO. HA HA HA! COME ON, MAN. HANG IN THERE, BABY. IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT. THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING YOU COULD HAVE SAID. COME ON, 'DRE, LET'S GO. MAN, I HOPE YOU GOT A BUNCH OF POINTS. [LAUGHTER] SURVEY SAID. [BUZZER] AWW. IT'S GONNA BE ALL RIGHT, BABY. LOOKING TO SPICE THINGS UP IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP? VISIT FAMILYFEUD.COM/AUDITION TO APPEAR ON OUR SHOW.
