Vishen: I'm now gonna introduce Kyle. And there's not much I can say about Kyle
that you guys have not already witnessed. But after he made fun of me and my accent,
and made it seem like I sound German and have bad grammar, I figured I'm just gonna play
that part as I introduce him. So this is how his introduction video is going
to be like. So this is Vishen according to Kyle Cease. "All right, everybody now we're going to have
Mr. Kyle. Yes, very, very funny man. He come up here. I like him. I like him lot because he make funny, funny
joking, and then he also very inspiring, he make your brain grow. And he use many naughty the words, fucking
this, fucking that, very funny. Okay, so Kyle come, come brother, come." Kyle: Oh folks. Keep it going for Apu, ladies and gentlemen. That was awesome. That's not the voice I gave you, it was more
like, "Oh so good. So good comedian coming up." It's an absolute honor to be at this event. I wanna thank Vishen and everyone again for
having me, and I hope you enjoyed what I did last night if you guys got to see it. Thank you very much. And it's funny, because after that, a lot
of people came up to me and then today people came up to me and said, "That was amazing
how you did that, how you were just off the cuff, and you were saying stuff that you were
just thinking about and that you just saw," and that it was really quick. And I have been going through this theory
that actually that's actually easier than the way that we're choosing to live our lives. In other words, like I just go with the moment. Like those guys stood up and ran, so I saw
that and commented on it. And that's all I'm thinking. And in our lives, that's all we have to do,
is just say what we're actually thinking, and it frees you of it. You know, if you go to your friend's house,
you don't have a set list. You don't sit there and go, "First, I'll ask
him if he has pets, and then if he likes ice cream. I'll ask that first." Because that puts you in memory, you go into
his house in both past and future. You know, you literally go in there going,
"I gotta remember to say this." So you leave the moment completely and you
go, "I gotta remember that." And if you were talking to your friend and,
like, the earth shook, you'd comment on it. Right? You wouldn't sit there and try to keep them
focused. "Don't notice that, just listen to what I'm
saying." You'd be in that…it's actually more effortless. And it's funny because I'm a stand-up comic,
and there's literally, like, 108,000 people trying to do comedy, and 99% of them, or 100%,
they're just completely...they think that they are their material. You know, they think that they are their jokes. You're not your jokes. You're not your product, even. It's you. People don't go to see Ellen DeGeneres's jokes. They go to see Ellen DeGeneres and her take
on things and how she feels about things. And so that's what you're really selling here
with what you're doing. And the bizarre thing is it's so effortless. It's so freaking effortless that our minds
can't handle it. And when you say, "Let go," people go, "How
do I?" And well there's no process, you're adding
more process to it, you just allow. And well, "How do I allow?" Like there's a time that you should start
allowing. Like, "Well at Wednesday you just..." Like, we don't need any linear time, it literally
is just this moment. And the first thing I do is I go, every single
moment is equally important. This moment right now, when I'm talking to
one of you, when I'm peeing, if I'm on Conan O'Brien, all moments are equally important. The problem is we put so much emphasis on
a future moment that we burn out the current moment that we're in, and a lot of times we
just spend it worrying and creating situations on how that moment could be bad. You know what I'm saying? So we'll be like a very... I know a million comics, and they're bred
out of skepticism, so like they come up with brilliant sabotaging ways to do things. So like if you hear that you got "Comedy Central"
in a week, the first thing a comic will do, and most of us will do is come up with, "Oh
God, I have this thing that's more important than this moment." And you completely lose appreciation for this
moment. And you come up with this future moment, and
you come up with why it's going to... First of all, you come up with why it's so
important, meaning like you're in luck if this doesn't go well. When you are worried about how something goes,
you're saying to the universe, "I'm in lack if this doesn't go right." Does that make sense? You're literally saying, "This has to go well,
because this completes me. This is the most important thing," versus
just being okay with what is and just trusting. And it's just a matter of trusting. It 100% is. It's just a matter of allowing and just not
getting in the way of anything. And I'll tell you that my story is that I
started doing comedy when I was 12 years old. I actually started in second grade. My teacher told me during class that if I
would just shut up, she'd give me five minutes at the end of the week to do whatever I wanted. And at the time, my uncle worked for Gallagher,
the famous comedian Gallagher, he made all of his props. And so every year for Christmas we'd get like
Gallagher videos and all that stuff. And it was funny because I'd watch all these
Gallagher videos and this guy had toys and all this stuff. And so I started in second grade doing stand
up for the second graders. I'd do Gallagher's material, which was funny
because he was talking about sex and taxes with a southern accent. And I didn't even get what I was saying. Like, I'd talk to the school and be like,
"Women you go out shopping. You buy us underwear that fits cardboard. Am I right, guys?" And like, I'd pull up my dad's underwear with
the cardboard. It was ridiculous. And every year I would just renegotiate with
the teachers. In third grade, I'd be like, "I'm gonna be
really good. At the end of the week, can I do stand up?" And then when I was 12, this is true, I just
said I wanna do comedy clubs. And so my favorite show when I was growing
up was "Evening at the Improv." I didn't care about He-Man or any of that
shit. Like, I was just "Evening at the Improv" and,
like, comedy specials. And when I was 12, my dad took me to my first
comedy club. And I did a set and was oblivious to the idea
that it wouldn't work out, and I killed it. And then they said, "You wanna work here more?" And then I just started doing stand-up every
weekend at these comedy clubs. And then at 15, I remember asking this question,
"How can I make more money?" I was making probably 400 or 500 a week as
a feature act at 15 years old, opening for people like Gilbert Gottfried and those kind
of people. And I would just be like, "How do I make more
money?" And it's so funny how different that question
is when we're kids than when we ask now. Like, "Why me?" and, "Why is this happening
to me?" and all these things that we ask. And as Tony Robbins once said, he said, "When
you ask, 'Why me?' you'll get, because you suck, because you always do this, you know,
because you always date the wrong person." So I was just like, "How do I make more money?" And I remember asking a comedian, "How do
comics make good money?" And the guy said, "Well, corporate parties." He goes, "Companies have parties, you know,
and they pay good money for good comedians." And he said, "But you're probably too young." I didn't hear the last part. I was just like, next question, "Oh, how do
I do corporate parties?" Like, there's a given. There's a way to do it. So I asked my mom Bambi. Her name is not Bambi, we just call her that
because she's a stripper, and her mom was killed by a hunter. But so, I said to her, I was like, "Where
do companies meet up?" I said, "Where do companies meetup?" And she told me about the Chamber of Commerce. And so I was just like, "Oh." At 15, I was like, "Oh, okay I'll just call
the Chamber of Commerce." And I just...at 15, it's just an effortless
flow. I was like, "Can I get the mailing labels
to the businesses?" And they're like, "Yeah, it's 35 bucks," or
whatever. And I was like, "Cool." And then I made a flyer. It said, "Having a corporate party? Looking for entertainment? Call Kyle Cease." And I sent it out to 500 businesses. And at 15, I was doing corporate parties for
Sears, Nintendo, Microsoft, all these companies. And it was just the most effortless thing. And I found the more I charged, the more I
got work, the more they said yes. And I was making a lot of money because I
wasn't going the standard route that you think that you have to take. Like when we go, "The economy is bad." Well, you're morons if you think that's a
real thing. Like, if you think that, you're going, "Oh,
well, that means I can't get a job, and go work as a slave for someone." Or you go, "That's an opportunity to create
anything because we have the Internet, and you can do anything with the Internet." So I was just like, "Okay, so how do I keep
doing this?" And so that was going on, and then at 18,
they made a new rule that comics couldn't go into comedy clubs unless you were 21. I didn't even know that that was a problem. I was just like, "Okay, well, I'll rent out
high school theaters." And I started renting out high school theaters,
and I was making like, $10,000 a night at like 17, 18, producing my own shows. And the comedy clubs were paying nothing compared
to that. And so at 19, there was a casting director
that was teaching an acting workshop, and all my friends were saying to me, "You know,
don't go take an acting class. You're either an actor or you're not." And I was like, "Yeah, but I might meet some
people or whatever." So I was kind of funny in the class, and then
2 weeks later, that casting director ended up being the casting director for the teen
movie "10 Things I Hate About You." And so she called me in for this part, and
I was just still at an age where I was oblivious to the idea that I couldn't do this. I completely was just, "Okay, cool." I didn't have a headshot or a resume or all
the things that you think that you need to have to make something happen, I just went
into the audition, and was just this cheesy guy and brought in this character and did
this thing. And every time I said their line I just ended
with, "That must be Nigel with the brie." And I did this line, and the director was
like, "Brilliant. I've never seen that." I mean, like, they just couldn't believe it. And there were there were, like, 500 other
people with resumes and agents and all those things that you would think that you need
going for it. But I was so oblivious to the idea that I
needed that, that I just ended up, two weeks later, not only finding out that I booked
the part, but they rewrote the role because they liked what I did so much that they ended
up...I had a two-week part, I ended up shooting for six and a half weeks. So then I was like, "Holy crap." But here's the thing, I actually wasn't like,
"Holy crap." Everyone around me was. Like, this is just how it works. It's fun to me how much we have to hear, you
know, there's consciousness, and there's a spirit out there you can connect to. If you really know that, you'll just be there. You don't have to sit there and... You're not reminded all day that you have
an arm. Like, it's just part of you. You know, you don't sit there and wonder if
you have an arm. You know what I'm saying? You don't do that. You just are in flow. But we're sitting here and spending all day
trying to figure out if we're a part of this thing, you know, and so that's what's getting
in the way of us. So I moved to LA, and every one of my comic
friends were like, "Don't move to LA, you're going to be back here." And then they started listing all the people
that failed in LA, and said, "This guy didn't make it, and this guy. You're gonna be back here," because they had
proof that I won't make it because they told me about other people who didn't know what
we know. And so, I moved to LA and two weeks into living
in LA, I bumped into a guy that I shot "10 Things I Hate About You" with, and he had
a friend that was shooting the movie, at the time, "Not Another Teen Movie" which is a
big teen, spoof movie. And I just said to him, "Oh, could you get
me… Ask 'em if I could get in the movie." Like, you know, I just... And he was like, "What?" And I go, "Yeah, ask 'em. Like, tell 'em I did '10 Things I Hate About
You.' They're doing a movie that spoofing teen movies." I said, "Tell 'em I'm in the movie, and like
let me..." And so he goes, "Okay." So he told 'em. Two days later, I get a call. They go, "They want to see you on set for
'Not Another Teen Movie.'" All I had to do was ask. And we all know this, but it's just a reminder. If you ask you'll get yes or no, and you'll
be no worse off than if you didn't ask at all. Right? In fact, you'll be better because you know
the answer. And one time my friend, who's kind of skeptical
goes, "Well, if that's the case, wouldn't I just ask out every hot girl ever?" Sure, why the fuck wouldn't you? Like, yes. Until you're happy, yes. Do it until you have what you want. Like, "Oh, you're right. Never mind. Settle." So like, it's fascinating to me how many people
come up with why it won't work, and they just want to be right over happy. And I get Not Another… Oh, I shouldn't spoil it for you, but I'll
get it. But I go in "Not Another Teen Movie," and
they're shooting the movie, and he goes, "Show me you doing the slow clap." The part was for a character called the slow
clapper, which is a guy that always shows up in the movie...you know, in every movie,
there's a guy that's slowly clapping, and he's getting everyone else to clap. Well, my guy tries to show up in the movie,
but it's always an inappropriate time. So like the girl is in a fight with another
person or someone died, and my guy stands up, and it's just totally awkward. And that was the part. And I thought it was so funny. And so I go into the audition and they're
shooting "Not Another Teen Movie" and he goes, "Okay, show me you doing the slow clap." And I did this, and he goes, "Hold on a second." And he turns away and he shoots "Not Another
Teen Movie" for 45 minutes and forgot about me, and I'm standing behind him like, "Do
I have another movie?" And so he turns and looks at me, he goes,
"Oh yeah." And he looks at the writer, goes, "What did
you think?" And the writer goes, "Oh, I love him." And he goes, "All right, you're the slow clapper." I didn't have an agent, and I did one clap. That was it. I'm glad I didn't miss. Oh shit, like usually these hit. So now I have two movies, two major, huge
hit teen movies under my belt with no headshot, no resume, nothing. Which means it's not a fluke that I got the
first one. The first one you go, "Well, that might have
happened… It was just a weird, lucky thing. That's not how life works." Well, I got two. I got two. And there's people I know that doubt everything
but have all those other resources that you think you need, and didn't book things for
10 years. You know? It's not the things that you need. It's not that I need the right agent, I need
the right... That's all bullshit. And so I booked this movie, and then because
of that I was like, "Well, how can I capitalize on this?" Well, colleges you know. College kids, that would be huge. So I ended up doing in my 20s over 700 colleges,
I've done the most colleges of any comedian ever actually. And I ended up in 2004 doing 68 colleges in
a row, every single day, literally, I was on 2 to 3 flights a day. Because these colleges for some reason are
in the middle of nowhere. They tell these kids, "Don't drink, and don't
do drugs, and don't have sex." And they make it so they fucking have to. Their choices are Walmart or Susie, and it's
like, "Hmm…" You know? Both are always open. So I'm doing this college tour, and it's absolutely
insane. I do 68 colleges in a row. I'm living on the road partying. I'm not eating anything but drive-through. I'm drinking, I'm having a great time. But at the end of the tour I had no sleep
and, literally, I'm just also panicking, trying to get to the next flight each day. At the end of the tour, I ended up on the
road getting hospitalized with pneumonia. I almost died. I was in Vegas, and I went through this whole
thing where I was stuck, and my body had this blood barely moving through me. And then in 2005, I was on stage one day and
I thought to myself a sabotaging thought, because what happens in our life...when we
get to a plane, if we don't keep going, you get comfortable, and when you get comfortable,
if you're not creating constantly, your mind will creatively sabotage. If you aren't creating constantly, your mind
will constantly creatively sabotage. It will come up with really brilliant ways
to fuck you up because you're not using it. It's just like not going to the gym. Right? But if I had a comedy act that was down pat,
I had no reason to grow, because I'm pulling off standing ovations, I'm doing the show. So I could do the show word for word every
night, and I could do it in my sleep, which meant my mind had time to roam while I was
on stage. So it started thinking sabotaging thoughts. And one day onstage, I'll never forget this. I remember this gig so vividly. I thought to myself, "I wonder, if you think
about it enough, if you could make yourself faint." That was the thought I had. And everyone who's ever had an anxiety or
fear knows that it stems from a really weird thought. Like, it doesn't make any sense to everyone
else. You'll be like, "I just have this thing where
I'm worried a penis will float in the room and sit on my head, and I'll be named Dr.
Penis-Head for four months. And I know it doesn't make any sense." But it's real to you. Right? So right when I thought, I wonder if you think
about it enough, if you can make yourself faint, I looked at my hand and I started whiting
out. So now I had proof that it could happen. So now you have a belief, and you have proof
that it works. So I was like, "Oh, my God, I could." And I was doing that on the stage. And so I was linking that fear to the stage,
because we link things together. If you hear a song, and it remind you of an
ex and jolts your nervous system, it's not the song's notes that are doing that. It's...you had an emotional connection, and
the song kicked in, and so now you hear that song and you think of her. It's Pavlov's dog. Right? So I'm thinking to myself, "I wonder if you
think about it enough, if you can make yourself faint," while I'm standing on stage. So then, I walked off stage and asked other
comics, I was like, "I have this thing where I'm worried I'm going to faint on stage." I'm off the stage, and I'm fine. And I'm pointing at the stage like that's
the bad place. And the comics go...and comics are dicks. They're like, "Oh, you totally could. You could totally." And then they started giving me proof, "One
time, Dave Chappelle fainted on stage." And one guy goes, "You know, in the army,
they can freeze our hearts down to one beat a minute to make the enemy think they're dead." I'm like, "Shut up. You're killing me." And then I would say to the girl I was dating,
like, "I have this thing where I'm worried I would faint." And then she starts giving me love for that. She's like, "Baby, you're not going to faint." So now I'm associating love to worrying, and
that's what we do. You're depressed, everyone loves you. Everyone will give you connection. But if you become successful, you're a threat
to them because they are reminded that they weren't. So it becomes lonely in your mind because
you don't realize that there's this group and people at the top that are waiting for
you, and you'll have a whole new set of friends, but people don't realize that those friends
they have to let go of. In this one life, keep your family and choose
your peers, seriously. The people around you are going to... They've done studies where they said, take
your 10 best friends and average it out. That's your health, your weight, your income,
your everything. If you're around 10 obese people, you're going
to start eating cheese fries. And if you're around 10 health nuts, you're
going to start eating organic cheese fries. But if you're around 10 millionaires, you'll
start to see it's easy to make money. If you're around 10 broke asses, you'll hear
why it's impossible. So you'll start moving from that way. So I started to worry, and then I got love
for it. And then this started getting worse and worse
and worse. I would go on stage and I would think worse
thoughts. And I got to a point where I was literally
crying before I went on stage. And so it got really, really bad. Also my identity is that I'm a comedian. Do you know what I mean by that? I was the chubby kid in high school. I book a teen movie, I'm on stage a lot, and
that's when everybody loves me. So for 10 years, I didn't even feel worthy
of talking to people until they knew that I was a stand-up comic. Like I'd be on a plane with someone and be
like, "Oh yeah, when I had my comedy career..." And, "Oh, you're a comic?" Now I felt worthy of it. How much do you think that would affect my
relationships when eventually we get through the bullshit, and eventually she knows the
real me, and I don't feel worthy of having that girl or anything because like she just
knows the comedian? We do that with everything, my income. I'm my income. That's why a lot of times people that lose
millions of dollars will be more suicidal than people that just never had the money
because they don't think they're that identity. If you think you are you are your body, you're
gonna be sad when you lose it. If you think you are, you're not. You're just this moment. The end. So I got worse and worse. And then while I was at the height of it,
I booked my first "Comedy Central" appearance with three months notice. And my manager goes, "Don't blow it." So what do you think is the first thing I
thought? I'm gonna faint on the "Comedy Central" thing,
which will ruin my comedy career, my one chance to make it, because that's what I believed. This is my one chance. I worked for 15 years at this point, and here
I am and I'm going to faint on "Premium Blend" on this "Comedy Central" show. So my mind started literally coming up with
all these sabotaging ways, and really seeing it. And I thought, if that happens, it'll ruin
my life. So this is when I started to get kind of suicidal,
and I started really getting close to killing myself and really fantasizing about that. And it got to a point where literally I would
wake up in the morning, I would worry all day and picture other people fainting. It was the craziest thing. I would just... Every person I saw walking, like, "How are
they doing that?" Like, it was like really weird. And I got to the day where I did "Premium
Blend," and the plane landed in New York. And I remember I had escalated this so much
that I would stand in the airport, and I would be walking through the airport holding on
to, you know, the stuff here, the suitcase rack, everything. And I was now at a point where I've escalated
this to even farther and farther. So I go on stage and I do my "Premium Blend,"
Damon Wayans introduces me. And I go on stage. And the only thing I'm thinking is, "Don't
faint. Don't faint." That's literally all I'm thinking. I'm holding the mic like this, my legs are
turned in. And I did an eight-minute set in six minutes
because I had flown through the material so fast. I walk off stage. The girl that I'm dating at the time goes... Comedy Central goes, "That was so good," even
though inside I was in hell. They go, "That was so good, we're going to
give you your own half-hour special." The girl I'm dating at the time goes, "Oh,
shit." And I go, "What?" And she goes, "Now I'm going to hear you worry
about that for the next three months." So the next day after the breakup, what happened...I
picked up a Tony Robbins book, and one of the things it said was, "You can't think of
two things at the same time." My problem with the fainting was, I thought,
"I can't stop thinking about this." But the truth is, you can't think of two things
at the same time if you choose to put your focus on one of them. So I realized that my mind was bored and coming
up with all this "don't faint" thing, so I needed to replace the thought with what I
do want, completely. But my mind wants that challenge so much that
I need to make it like what Vishen was saying, something completely unrealistic. So I said this, "How can I have the number
one "Comedy Central" special, the highest rated "Comedy Central" special?" Now realize at this time Dane Cook was out,
Larry the Cable Guy, all these people had half-hour specials. And I'm sitting there saying, how can I have
the number one special? So literally the next morning I did some physiology
movements and all this stuff that I learned from different seminars, and I did what I
called taking my mind to the gym. I literally started picturing that I had the
number one "Comedy Central" special. I would hold on to it, and I would wake up
at six in the morning and dance around the house and be like, "You have the number one
"Comedy Central" special," and I would keep thinking that. And while I was holding that, my mind started
offering visions of my favorite gigs that I ever had. It goes, "Remember when you did this show
at FSU, you did three and a half hours." And then I started channeling that, and my
mind started thinking it was there. And I looked back at the anxiety within 10
minutes, and it was already gone. The anxiety I had for three months, I'd broken
it because I realized I had overcome it. So then I was like, "Holy shit, how good can
this get?" So I kept going, and every hour...I did an
hour a day of doing that. It got down to the day of the "Comedy Central"
taping, I get to New York, I feel amazing, there's cameras all over me, 2-balcony theater,
and it's 30 seconds time on stage, and I'm with my manager, and I looked at him, and
I go, "Did I ever tell you about the time that I performed at the Fair Haven bar in
Bellingham?" I just felt like channeling a no-pressure
gig, because you know that when you think about something, your mind doesn't know the
difference between what you're thinking about and what's actually happening. So I realized that when I'm in that bar, or
I'm just running material in the bathroom, or if I'm on stage at "Comedy Central," I'm
not physically doing anything different. I'm just deciding my surroundings are different. Do you get what I'm saying? So when you're talking to Obama or your mom,
it shouldn't make you any different because it's what you're feeling internally. So I started to… Can I go a couple more minutes to just finished
this. I'm sorry, I know that... It's funny because last night I was like,
"Should I put this shit in here and then leave them with a cliffhanger?" So I'm backstage with my manager, and I go,
"I want to tell you about the time I performed at the Fair Haven bar in Bellingham." So I start, 30 seconds left, and I go, I tell
him. I go, "I'm backstage at the bar, and they
go, 'Kyle Ceases is here from 10 Things I Hate About You.'" And I told him, and I said, "I took the crowd,"
and I said, "I felt like I took the crowd and I put it in a duffel bag, and I flew it
around." And while I'm doing saying that, they're going,
"Five, four, three. From New York City, 'Comedy Central' presents
Kyle Cease." And I looked at my manager and I said, "I'll
tell you the rest in a second." And I went out on stage, and I saw the audience,
and I felt the exact same I did in that no-pressure bar. And I just started doing my material in the
order that I usually do it, even though "Comedy Central" wanted me to do it with their teleprompter-y
[SP], you know, we had an agreement with this, and they said, "Don't do any crowd work." But if you watched me last night, fuck that. So I'm doing my act on stage the way I do
it, and the teleprompter is trying to follow me. Eventually, it was just a question mark and
a guy going, "What the hell?" And so I do my act my way, and I start doing
crowd work on "Comedy Central" on my special. My heart knew to do it even though it's against
the rules completely. I finish the show, roaring standing ovation,
the only one of that year, and it was the number one "Comedy Central" special, it was
the highest rated "Comedy Central" special of 2006. And I'll tell you this one part, and then
I'm going to go. But the biggest thing after that was when
that happened, I said, "Holy shit, there's a matrix that I just got out of. How good can this get?" So in 2009… This is the last thing I'll tell you. "Comedy Central" put out there 100 favorite
comedians, and they said they wanted the public to vote on it. Now this list was insane. This list had everyone you can think of that's
the greatest. I mean, like, huge, huge household-name comics. And this was the question I had, "How can
I win this?" Now, what Vishen said earlier about what and
why, I completely agree with. Those two I already had down. I had gotten those three, and I was like,
"How can I?" Because when you say, "how can you," it's
a given you can. So I said, "How can I win The Stand-Up Showdown? How can I get the most votes?" And my mind came up with immediately, "What
if you did a podcast where you thanked everyone who voted for you in the showdown by name?" And then my mind goes, "Okay." So I went on Myspace and Facebook, and I said,
"Vote for me in the stand-up showdown, and I'll thank you by name." The next day, 400 people wrote me. So I did this motivational, inspirational
podcast because I wanted to Trojan horse some positivity into these dumb-shits. And then at the end, I said, I'd like to thank
the following people, "And I literally listed 400 names." And people would be like, "Dude, why are you
doing that? Are you crazy? That's like 20 minutes." You're right, that could have been a sitcom
that I could have watched almost, or I could make 400 fans for life, and every time I sell
a CD there's 400 sold. There's 400 more YouTube hits, all those things. So the next day, I said at the end of that,
I'm gonna do this again tomorrow. And I knew those people's friends would listen. So I thanked, the next day, 800 names. And the first day I did it, I went from 18th
to 8th place, and there was still 2 weeks left in the contest. So the next day, I did 800. Bam, 7th place. Pulled ahead of Dane Cook. Next day, 6th place, 5th place. I was thanking 1,600...literally 2,000, 3,000
names. The last week, it's myself and Jeff Dunham. This is the last part. Last week, it's myself and Jeff Dunham. Jeff Dunham had a new "Comedy Central" special
coming out, a new TV show. So "Comedy Central" wanted him to win. So they pulled my special off in the last
week, and they put like 15 Jeff Dunham specials on to get the crowd to vote. And they said vote for Jeff Dunham in the
"Comedy Central Stand-Up Showdown" at every commercial break. And I thought, "Wow, that's the first time
I've had enough power that I've just changed national television's programming." You get what I'm saying? It's not a problem, it's what we do with it. So I told...my fans were worried like crazy,
and I said, "Listen, it's not a problem, it's what you do with it. It's just a test to see how bad we want it. Everything in your life is a test to see how
bad you want it." You want the ultimate relationship, but your
friend has tickets to the Playboy Mansion, that's a test to see how bad you want it. Anyone else having this problem? So the last week Jeff Dunham and I are neck
and neck, and the last night they ran four more Jeff Dunham specials, and the following
Sunday is when you find out who is number one. They ran the specials all day on "Comedy Central",
literally, 20, 19, 18. And then I got a call from the East Coast,
that Jeff Dunham was in second place. And I got first place in 2 weeks with 238,000
votes. And I just say that because I want you to
know you are so unbelievably unlimited. You're so unlimited. And if you just say, "How can I?" after you
say the what and the why, I promise you, if you want it, you can have it. It is so fucking easy. Just go get it. It is so simple. Good night, everybody. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Thank you for letting me go long, too. I can't wait to see Lisa. Thank you.
im sure different videos affect different people , but this one really made me just ask myself :" How can i " every day to achieve my goals, and ive never been more motivated in my life
Younger skinnier tony Robbins