Greg Giraldo - Roast of Bob Saget

he's back again making his annual disappearance please welcome the unknown comic one of my favorites greg geraldo [Applause] [Music] thank you thank you everybody john stamos isn't he she great john played the bongos in a beach boys video wearing a pink tank top that couldn't have been any gayer if george michaels was on your lap stuffing crystal meth up your ass with rupert everett's fist [Applause] you're on er now john congratulations you're like susie smith's vagina you're almost useless but somehow you keep working [Applause] john was uh john was married to my favorite supermodel rebecca romain o'connell jesus oh john you uh you lost your wife to the fat kid from stand by me holy [ __ ] look at you you greasy greek bastard i look at you and i wonder how can there be an energy crisis we shouldn't be drilling in alaska we should be ringing out your family's pillowcases look at this death what a parade of horrible are we are we crowning the ugliest person in show business here tonight it's like stamos sucked up all the handsome for himself this uh this stage is like planned parenthood two [ __ ] and nine abortions [Applause] norm mcdonald is here one of the funniest people ever norm's got a giant gambling problem he's dropped more coin in a casino than michael j fox at a parking meter it's a [ __ ] roast crony grown grown brian possain look at him that giant [ __ ] ghoul we've all seen your shirtless on the sarah silverman show it's hard to believe you could be so out of shape considering how often the townspeople must chase you around with torches [Laughter] the great cloris leachman of course is here cloris leachman florence is so old she lost her virginity to a druid what are you doing here cloris you're the only person with any talent you've won an oscar and nine emmys when it comes to winning awards you've been more voracious than john lovitz at all the dick you can eat buffet john lovetts you [ __ ] gay weeble [Laughter] come on john there hasn't been a more feminine jew in the closet since anne frank you don't like [ __ ] you love it [Applause] you are one pouch chin prick every time you open your mouth i expect a baby kangaroo to jump out you have the jawline of a pelican a flock of seabirds was backstage looking for fish in your chin bags susie aspen look at you you're a mess you're like you're like screech with tits i guess uh cloris leachman is here to make you seem [ __ ] when i saw you got cast as a loud obnoxious jewish broad on curb your enthusiasm i thought wow i guess you must give better head than fran drescher speaking ahead jeff garland's big head is here jeff's head is like the population of india it's dense sweaty and doubles in size each year gilbert godfrey's here gilbert recently had a baby who would [ __ ] you you have the sex appeal of a school bus fire which brings me to the man of the hour bob saget everybody huh bob sagan bob bob you are a genital wart on the [ __ ] of american culture seriously who gives a [ __ ] about bob saget with your long neck pointy beak and granny glasses you're like the vlasic pickle stork except instead of delivering babies you're not funny you're like my seven-year-old son you think cursing is hilarious and you're not surprised your dick is the same size it was in the first grade and where the hell are the olsen twins the olsens are like tom green's testicles they look the same but one is fake and empty inside and the other one's been licked by heath ledger he'd be cool with it [ __ ] you wrote and directed the movie farce of the penguins that movie was so stupid ebert and roper gave it two thumbs down syndrome a lot of people say you're a shameless sellout that's that's ridiculous you got to be a little ashamed seriously a little bit i read an interview where you refer to yourself as an artist are you [ __ ] kidding me as an artist you use the phrase as an artist you are a vortex of artistic compromise charlie sheen watches you and feels good about himself you you are an artist in the same way cloris leachman is moist you're not an artist bob and stop enjoying your ironic hipness that's going on with you these days you're not cool stop trying to be hip at one point in your act you actually say who's your daddy say my name look me in the eye true that holy [ __ ] i couldn't cringe any harder if i watch my mom in a [ __ ] video [Applause] i'm done being mean bob i've met you a bunch of times you've always been hilarious and super cool and uh and everybody that knows you loves and respects you nobody ever has a bad thing to say about you and uh that's that's that's particularly surprising because you're you're jewish and you're obnoxious people thanks a lot let me do this thanks [Music]

Channel: Bootleg Ice-T

Views: 829,328

Keywords: TV Special, Intellectual, American stand-up comedian, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Opie and Anthony, Comedy Cellar, Caroline's, Talk show, Naturally Funny, HBO, Radio, The Howard Stern Show, Lawyer, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, Dave Attell', The Bronx, New York City, Colombia, Harvard Law, Roast Master, Last Comic Standing, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Give It Up For Greg Giraldo, Savage, Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget, Bob Saget, Norm Macdonald, Full House, Dirty Work

Id: CckprEi15vY

Length: 6min 25sec (385 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 08 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/BackToNorm1]

The only way Norm could lose fifteen pounds was if he was at a British casino.

[u/[deleted]]

Giraldo was a top notch roaster

[u/DingbatMcgeee]

Greg would never throw lines, they all went up his nose