Greg Giraldo - Roast of David Hasselhoff

Video Statistics and Information

Video
Captions Word Cloud
Reddit Comments
Captions
[Music] you may not know our final roaster greg geraldo neither do i he's an esteemed judge on last comic standing a show that in seven seasons has launched nobody please give a tepid obligatory welcome to a very funny man who without these roasts would starve to death mr greg geraldo thank you everybody donnie osmond everybody wasn't she funny what a [ __ ] bore holy [ __ ] he's like an executive producer that's who hosts these things now behind the scenes creative whatever the [ __ ] you are holy [ __ ] maybe maybe next season we can get the uh the catering guy from dora the explorer to host things but you know what i do i do love that that stewie character on your show he's great you made all your money because you created a [ __ ] up criminal baby you're like michael lohan how uh [Applause] how how cheesy is this deus how cheesy is this taste it's not a roast it's a melt jerry springer george hamilton look at these no talent success stories the devil has signed so many deals with you people he's got carpal tunnel syndrome pam anderson is here everybody i hope this isn't too direct pam but god i i've jerked off to you a lot uh you've caused me to spill more seed than muhammad ali at a bird feeder pam you you have there somewhere uh ross's big mouth is here isn't he jeff what the [ __ ] that you looked adorable in those little shorts everything you look like andrew dice gay how fat do you plan on getting you're fattening up faster than your aging you're like the curious case of benjamin glutton you bloated hack your jokes are so old they know who george hamilton is george hamilton you're like you're like tang you're dry and orange and no one has given a [ __ ] about you since 1968. hamilton they're like a walking tumor not exactly it's a big deal when you spot a tumor of course it wouldn't be a roast without pizza lampanelli here everybody lisa lampanelli good to see you lisa i've never seen a circus bear in a pant suit before and you know what lisa lisa seems she seems very confident but she's actually not she's very sweet she was telling me backstage she had knots in all four of her stomachs the you are you are one fat lady you you have you have more chins than a chinese fat chick with tons of chins because she's because she's so fast and also a [ __ ] and speaking of fat [ __ ] hulk hogan's here everybody how about that hulk people say you're balding balding you're balding in the same way that jeff ross is fatting i can't imagine why your wife left you you're an old man who dresses like a hooters waitress keep keep your shirt on [ __ ] tits you're 80. you had a reality show called hogan knows best it should have been called hogan grows breasts sorry springer good to see you slithered in here today uh springer you you cultural sodomite you you have fist [ __ ] our civilization like gilbert's uncle on valentine's day you're an aide to bobby kennedy which probably explains your connection to hasselhoff i guess you like to hang around guys whose careers end on a hotel floor you've done that's a good [ __ ] joke everybody it's what we call roasting anyway i'm sorry if the meanness is piled up but that's what we do here and now on to the man of the happy hour one more hand for the half everybody huh david hasselhoff what a legend household hassle of sitting on a lifeguard chair cause that's what you're most known for i guess when we roasted pam she should have been sitting on a dick that is that is quite a tuxedo you look like adam lambert's prom date you're you're huge in europe you're even knighted by the queen of england she dubbed you cirrhosis of liver house love have you have you ever not been drunk you used to have a car that started when you talked to it now you have a car that won't start when you blow into it you're such a drunk when alcohol does its taxes it lists you as a dependent [Applause] you starred in checkland hide on broadway give him a round of applause for that excellent acting you played a guy you played a normal guy who drinks something and then turns into a raging abusive [ __ ] what impressive range maybe maybe for your next big leap you can go out for the part of washed up drunken cheeseburger eater hassle off you're drunk [ __ ] you drink a lot right your liver is so shriveled black and dead if you put your ear to your side you can hear what you're talking about with us [Applause] ah haslov you're a good man you're a good dad congratulations on being honored here tonight i know you're taking a lot of [ __ ] but uh but you're not gonna remember any of it let's face it thanks [Applause] you
Info
Channel: Bootleg Ice-T
Views: 564,966
Rating: undefined out of 5
Keywords: TV Special, Intellectual, American stand-up comedian, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Opie and Anthony, Comedy Cellar, Caroline's, Talk show, Naturally Funny, HBO, Radio, The Howard Stern Show, Lawyer, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, Dave Attell', The Bronx, New York City, Colombia, Harvard Law, Roast Master, Last Comic Standing, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Pamela Anderson, Baywatch, Give It Up For Greg Giraldo, Comedy Central Roast of David Hasselhoff, David Hasselhoff, Savage
Id: 0C9ghwXSx_E
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 5min 54sec (354 seconds)
Published: Wed Dec 08 2021
Related Videos
Note
Please note that this website is currently a work in progress! Lots of interesting data and statistics to come.