Greg Giraldo - Roast of William Shatner

our first roaster is here tonight only because he's colombian and andy dick needed the cocaine mr greg geraldo [Music] [Applause] thank you pillsbury jew boy seriously folks seriously how about a hand for the bald nathan lane everybody isn't he jason uh jason that was a that was a refreshing change these days the only time you're funny is on a re-run you've done you've really tried to hang in there after seinfeld you had shows like bob patterson and listen up those shows disappeared faster than a bowl of percocet at farrah fawcett's house [Applause] you've been in more turds than andy dick's penis [Applause] look at his deus fat guys old ladies and an asian i feel like i'm on a bus to atlantic city [Applause] look at this michelle nichols farrah fawcett and betty white uh i'll take women i would masturbate to 30 years ago for a thousand alex [Applause] somebody get me a time machine so i can crank a couple out what what a cruel joke three women you'd want to [ __ ] 30 years ago and one i wouldn't [ __ ] 30 beers from now farrah fawcett god were you a 70s icon that poster of you in the bathing suit holy [ __ ] that poster caused more dna to be spilled than a crime lab technician with parkinson's disease you fat drunk slob alrighty your liver has more holes in it than mel gibson's apology you're out your liver's so black lisa lempinelli tried to get it to [ __ ] her up the ass and never call again [Applause] artie your pal george takei is here uh sorry to pick on you george i know it couldn't be easy uh being a gay japanese man in the 50s i mean it it had to be almost impossible to pronounce glory hole with a japanese accent [Applause] georgia you'll be happy to know that jeff ross is here jeff is such a huge [ __ ] you won't have to spit on your dick first kevin [ __ ] kevin pollock's here kevin kevin how the hell do you have a movie career seriously you're a balding [ __ ] there are more there are more fully developed men in michael jackson's bedroom speaking of underdeveloped patent oswald patton oswald's here patton you look like a bullfrog [ __ ] the [ __ ] seriously no uh no offense no offense no offense already and george [Laughter] seriously uh patton whenever i see anyone that looks like you they're usually being taken to the playground by their 80 year old mother [Laughter] to our guest of honor now the great uh the great william shatner everybody bill it's uh that was that was quite an entrance when i heard someone was gonna come on a horse i uh i thought wow the network's really gonna let andy dick and lisa lampanelli get away with murder but [Applause] bill uh you're not just uh brilliant and old and fat you're you're an inspiration you prove that having no talent can be seen as hip and ironic you overact more than betty white's bladder wow then uh and of course there was tj hooker the only thing i remember about that show was your hair and that hot chick what's her face adrian's a med what uh what happened to her you're a uh you're a humanitarian you work with a foundation to bring peace to the middle east and uh whatever it is you're doing keep it up because it's uh really working it's really working you know uh though one of the most surreal parts of this business is that i get to stand here and make fun of of a legend like you you're an enormous part of my youth and you made captain kirk larger than life and really honestly no actor who's ever lived could have could have done more with that role and and the fact that you're you continue to crank out the best work you've done today when statistically you you should be dead is is really really inspiring thank you very much you

Channel: Bootleg Ice-T

Views: 680,467

Keywords: TV Special, Intellectual, American stand-up comedian, Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, Opie and Anthony, Comedy Cellar, Caroline's, Talk show, Naturally Funny, HBO, Radio, The Howard Stern Show, Lawyer, Lewis Black's Root of All Evil, Dave Attell', The Bronx, New York City, Colombia, Harvard Law, Roast Master, Last Comic Standing, David Letterman, Conan O'Brien, Give It Up For Greg Giraldo, Savage, Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner, William Shatner, Captain Kirk, Star Trek, RIP

Id: nRm8kjk__W4

Length: 5min 28sec (328 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 08 2021