Give Narcissists Taste of Own Medicine: Brainwash, Entrain Them

narcissistic abuse is so overwhelming so annihilating so negating that it is akin to a massive natural disaster in the face of natural disasters we tend to adopt a position of helplessness there was nothing we could do it's stronger than us it's bigger than us it's God ordained and so there is this fatalism this determinism this um surrender to the inevitable and the narcissist becomes a Godlike figure Center Stage the survivors of narcissistic abuse very often adopt a position of victimhood a new identity which tends to explain what has happened to them make sense of the world imbue it with meaning purpose and Direction being a victim is a full-time job but the truth is anything The Narcissist can do you can do better I will explain in a minute why you know the famous song an Oakley anything you can do I can do better that's how you should comport yourself with the narcissist this song should play and Replay in your mind time and again realize the narciss is fundamental inferiority and your inextricable superiority I promise to explain why why do I consider the victim far superior to the narcissist the reason is very simple when the narcissist first comes across you when you first meet on a date elsewhere The Narcissist takes a snapshot of you he creates an image of you inside his mind an internal object a representation of you in his head and he continues to interact with this introject with this internal object now what does it mean it means that the snapshot the Avatar of you your representation in the narcissist mind is a trojan horse it's what we call in Computing a back door it means that you have access to the narcissist mind the narcissist installs an app in his smartphone like mind which represents you this process is known as introjection so the narcissist in due time installs his introject in your mind and continues to talk to you via this inject continues to interact with other parts of your mind with other internal objects in your head via the inject even when the narcissist has exited your life even when the narcissist is long gone physically the voice of the narcissist still resonates internally In Cahoots and interaction with other voices with other injects but the fact of the matter is long before the narcissist has installed his inject in your mind long before he has installed his app in your smartphone you have had an inject in his mind you have had had have had access to his operating system via the snapshot via your representation in his mind now the narcissist uses your inject in his mind your idealized image in his mind your voice in his mind the narcissist uses the internal object that represents you in his mind in order to regress to a wbl likee matrix in order to go back in time become a child again with you is the maternal figure as a new substitute surrogate mother this provides you with enormous leverage you are the narcissist mother psychologically and psych psychodynamically speaking you have all the powers that a mother has included the including the power to define or redefine The Narcissist identity to cause the narcissist to split so that you become all good and the narcissist becomes all bad you have tremendous power as a mother remember the narcissist is a child to start with and when he is in in interaction with the internal object that represents you in his mind he is an infant or even less than an infant an embryo so your power is nearly infinite and if you were to use your maternal potency your access to his mind as a mother figure there's a lot you could accomplish you could discipline him you could redirect his energies including negative effects negative emotions like anger like Envy like hatred you could shape the world for him you could constitute the narcissis reality testing you could take over critical executive functions as a mother would because good Mothers lead good mothers are not friends with their children good mothers are not equal to their children good Mothers and good Fathers are leaders so you could assume the leadership position and the narcissist would not resist because he is a child and he does want you to be his mother at least in the initial phases of the shared fantasy and remember all this is a fantasy and because it's a fantasy it's not subject to the laws of physics or nature it is not an extension or a derivative of reality a fantasy is a consensual story it's a piece of fiction which both of you the narcissist and you co-author you're equal you have equal authorship of the fantasy and therefore you have the absolute unmitigated power to remold the fantasy to reshape it and to rewrite it use this power via your maternal function behave as a mother would with a 2-year-old try it I know it sounds implausible I know you afraid that the narcissist might retaliate somehow punish you even become violent perhaps no none of this would happen if you were to act as a mother would assuming the narcissist to be around 2 years old psychologically and emotionally speaking you w don't believe the outcomes that's Point number one injection and regression the fact that you already have a a presence within the narcissist mind a self-inflicted presence as far as a narcissist is concern through the process of snapshotting you have a trojan horse open the belly of the horse and let your soldiers out and take over the territory number two repetition and training repetition and in training repeat construct a set of sentences in a minute I will describe how to do this construct a set of sentences write them down memorize them and then repeat them endlessly time and again and again and again repetition repetition repetition reminds you of something yes a hypnotic state a trance the more you repeat something verbally the more you synchronize the brain waves of The Listener with your brain waves this is known as in training The Narcissist does this to you the narcissist verbally abuses you and typically uses the same vo vocabulary to do this he repeats mantras and slogans of abuse maltreatment he demin you and degrades you humiliates you and shames you exposes you and criticizes you using the same verbiage the same language time and again thereby essentially brainwashing you indoctrinating you and training you but you can do exactly the same to him actually narcissists are far more susceptible to entraining than you are because when the narcissism trains you and brainwashes you he has to overcome the fact that you have been in touch with reality until you have met him the narcissist has never been in touch with reality narcissist has inhabited a landscape of fantasy throughout his or her life a paracosm so it's much easier to delude and mislead The Narcissist to cause the narcissist to completely lose reality testing it's much easier in other words to Gaslight The Narcissist narcissists are more GLI than typical the typical average population so the the sentences you have to construct belong to one of four groups and in each and every one of these categories you need a few sentences like each category should have like four or five sentences the sentences should reflect your goals what do you want to achieve do you want to modify the narcissist Behavior do you want to control the narcissist do you want to prevent The Narcissist from doing something do you want want on the other hand to caj and incentivize the narcissis to behave in specific ways do you want an narcissis gun do you want the narcissis to be more present Etc Define your goals first of all Define your goals in the relationship and then shape the sentences that you're going to use in the brainwashing and training process shape them to reflect these goals and these sentences belong in one or four groups as I say number one challenge The Narcissist grandiosity challenge grandiosity is the cognitive distortion the uh wrong erroneous self-perception and self-image which is fantastic and inflated and the narcissist relies on this self-image in order to support uphold and butes his false self by challenging The Narcissist grandiosity you undermine the very foundations of the of Fortress narcissism so grandiosity challenging but grandiosity challenging could be a positively motivating force for example you could say I know you're capable of doing this I know only you are capable of doing this it never occurred to me that you couldn't do this you are so talented you are so amazing you're so powerful aggrandize the narcissist and then implicitly challenge the aggrandized image tell the narcissist I assume only you can do this or it never occurred to me that you couldn't do this or you're definitely capable of doing this or I've seen you doing similar things um or nothing is too difficult for you Etc so challenges grandiosity and in the same sh time reshape his grandiosity so as to yield motivation to motivate him to prove to you that his inflated fantastic self-image is neither inflated no fantastic this way you can lead the narcissist to the water and make him drink narcissist find challenges to their grandiosity irresistible immediately their critical thinking and paranoia are suspended and they are laser focused on proving to you how truly Godlike they are category number one category number two ideational misattribution when you want the narcissist to do something for you make him think that the idea was his when you want him to behave in a specific way or not behave in a specific way make him think it was his initiative misattribute things misattribute ideas misattribute requests and wishes to The Narcissist make it appear that everything is coming from the narcissist that he's the found and the source and the origin of everything original everything daring everything rational everything amazing everything fascinating make him the prime mover and the prime cause of the universe and more specifically of your relationship so you've had an idea do not share it with a narcissist do not this would be perceived as an imposition and a narcissistic injury because how is it possible that you have you have had an idea and the narcissist didn't have the same idea earlier that implies that you're more clever than narcissist smarter than a narcissist more creative than the narcissist it's narcisstic injury never share an ID with a narcissist wait two or three days and then come to the narcissist and say do you remember that a few days ago you gave me this idea because narcissists are highly dissociated they will absolutely say yes of course I remember this process is known as confabulation it's as simple as that narcissist fall for the most ous blatant flat they are like children utterly incapable of spotting um faking spotting um corn artistries so they are very very naive and gullible and vulnerable to manipulation they're actually the victims of melanism so go to the narcissist and simply State the fact that the idea you're about to share the request you're about to make the wish you're about to expound on actually came from the narcissis and it took you a few days to process it and then you realize how amazingly ingenious the idea was how perspicacious and insightful The Narcissist approach is and because the narcissist only dimly recalls his autobiographical uh past because the narcissist has disrupted episodic memory the narcissist is likely to believe you that the ID was his that the request came from him and that the wish was has always been his and when I say his her yeah half of all narcissists are women okay next fake helplessness it's called Fain helplessness fake helplessness pretend to be helpless helpless lost discombobulated confused terrified provoking The Narcissist the Savior rescuer hero fixer healer complex let him play these roles to his satisfaction let these roles Elevate his grandiosity and support it by faking and figing helplessness you are motivating The Narcissist to act on your behalf and in your favor and to adopt your goals and your wishes and your dreams and your requests as his it's the only way to make you happy only way to make you healthy only way to make you stay with it so this is the fourth the third category of sentences sentences which express helplessness and imply that the only solution is the narcissist intervention the narcissist is Sor The Narcissist help the narcissist advice The Narcissist wisdom omnipotence omnicient and Godlike panoramic and synoptic view agiz the narcissis so as to render him essentially your slave because narcissist find the Savior rescuer healer fixer function to be irresistible and finally the fourth category of sentences is the mass psychogenic sentences or the cult-like sentences it's the sentences that say the narcissist and you are against the world it's US versus them find imaginary or real enemies and adversaries and foes and redirect the energy of the narcissist against them in a way that would benefit your goals in a way that would gratify your wishes and fulfill your requests use the cult like setting to again trigger in the narcissist The Protector The Protector Instinct the leader Instinct you're a cult is the cult leader you're the follower the worshipper the member create what used to be called in French fad create um shared psychosis Mass psychogenic illness in current now in current usage so these are the the sentences the four categories of sentences write down these sentences and then simply repeat repeat them time and again and again and again and again ENT Trin The Narcissist brainwash The Narcissist condition The Narcissist this is called operant conditioning condition The Narcissist with positive and negative reinforcements uh teach the narcissist that if he responds in a certain way to your sentences he is rewarded and if it does not respond in the desired way is not rewarded so condition him I'm sorry to say but it's a little like housebreaking a pet you need to tame and domesticate The Narcissist now this is the first element in ENT trining and brainwashing this is the second element sorry in entraining and brainwashing The Narcissist to remind you the first element Play The Mother Play The Mother to The Narcissist child the second element construct a set of sentences and repeat them endlessly add infinitum the third element create a narrative a storyline a piece of fiction a script that Accords 100% corresponds 100% And confirms 100% the shared fantasy a narrative that is ego syonic ego congruent narcis that supports narrative that support the narcissist view of himself a narrative that allows you to become in the narcissist mind an Inseparable part of him an integral part of his Essence this narrative should have a survival a survival value it should reflect a positive adaptation in other words The Narrative must incentivize The Narcissist to introject you as a mother figure and allow him to assimilate the aformentioned sentences so the narrative is a two-fold function to butress and uphold and cement the shared fantasy within which you maternal figure and on the other hand to allow you to manipulate the narcissist verbally through the process of ENT training now we distinguish between three uh types of such narratives such manipulative melian um goal oriented narratives there's the anotic narrative it's a narrative that mitigates and ameliorates the narcissist separation insecurity abandonment anxiety narcissist uh have a problem with object constancy narcissis have actually been abandoned as children neglected mistreated abused traumatized and so they have this fear of undergoing the same experience with a new maternal figure construct a narrative that is anxiolytic a narrative that reduces this anxiety this insecurity there such a narrative is going to have enormous power with the narcissis and within the narrative embed injunctions expectations requests wishes dreams goals within the narrative an integral part of the narrative an Inseparable Inseparable part of the narrative so that when the narcissist accepts The Narrative he also unwittingly ends up accepting all the manipulative elements within the narrative now I keep saying manipulative manipulation and so on so forth manipulative and manipulation are not negative things every human being live manipulates other people manipulation is simply how we get other people to do things we want them to do and so In This Very broad definition of manipulation we all manipulative now the next type of narrative is the triumphant antagonistic narrative A Narrative of Justice restored omnipotence affirmed and confirmed the narcissist prevails Superior and supreme his worth is unveiled and discovered he is rewarded as he should always have been etc etc the triumphant antagonistic narrative similarly reduces The Narcissist anxiety and other negative effects such as anger and envy so it has a very very um positive effect on the moods of the narcissist and on his internal cohesion on his ability to somehow maintain the precarious balance of his so-called personality and absent or disrupted self so the triumphant antagonistic narrative again should include your expectations your wishes your requests your dreams your goals all of them embedded in the triumphant antagonistic narrative and finally there is the grandiosity enhancing and the grandiosity congruent narrative it's a narrative that elevates the narcissist an apotheosis a worshiping of the narcissist placing the narciss is to the center of attention and the life of the party the narcis becomes a Godlike figure everyone around are worshippers within a new church it's a kind of private religion it's a it's a primitive religion but it's still cult-like and sect like that's another very important type of narrative and actually this narrative allows you to obtain your goals realize your expectations fulfill your wishes much more than the previous two if you're willing to go this way if you're willing to flatter The Narcissist worship The Narcissist submit to The Narcissist then you would end up having ultimate power over the narcissist unmitigated power that extends infinitely narcist would do anything for you absolutely anything this of course is what codependent do it's precisely how they emotionally blackmail the intimate partner who is a narcissist and this is what borderlines do at the initial phase of the shared fantasy okay finally I promised you four ways there the fourth way is to use the narcissist peer network to use the narcissist social network now many narcissist do not have a social network and therefore this point is mot but quite a few narcissist do have a social network work of peers colleagues you know U churchgoers members of the family and so on convert these people into your flying monkeys leverage peer Dynamics and the hive mind of the crowd U the in group when the narcissist belong his group personality his cult personality not the personality that he presents indoors with you but the personality that he presents of the world what what what was called mask Byung or persona persona bayung I'm sorry or mask so use this use this there's an Outsourcing of cognitive processes and there's the acquisition of social identity in peer Dynamics the narcissist wants to belong he wants to be accepted he wants to have a surrogate family The Narcissist regulates his sense of self-worth and self-esteem and self-confidence via the group members of the group which analisis somehow admires looks up to wishes to emulate they serve as Role Models there's a lot of peer pressure to conform there's operant conditioning within the group there's normative regulation there's a formation of negative identity if you belong to the group you define yourself in opposition to people outside the group in the out group the group becom a social reference point use all this use the power of the group convert people in the group into your flying monkeys and use them against the narcissist or with the narcissist or in conjunction with the shared fantasy introduce them into the shared fantasy if you need to make sure they hear your side of things your version of the events or and of their relationship and mobilize them and motivate them to become rescuer Rescuers and saviors and heroes and healers and fixers no one is amable to such an appeal it's irresistible it's in our nature because we all feel very protective of children so we have all exper have had the experience of being protectors and healers and saviors and Rescuers all be it usually only with children appeal to that in falize yourself play a child role play a mother role with a narcissist and play a child role with the narcissist peer group and social network so that they come to your defense against the narcissist leverage the peer group put all these four together and you are definitely in the position to do to the narcissist what he is doing to you and I claim that you can do it much more successfully now the second part of the video is um an analysis of the science presentation of the latest findings in the field and what do we know about brainwashing and training and indoctrination so enjoy this this part this morning I've been asked by a journalist what are the secrets of brainwashing and indoctrination why do they work so well how come so many people become oblivious to reality to the truth to facts and even reject them angrily when confronted with incontrovertible evidence what happens to the brain in these situations and how do people revert if ever so I'm going to answer the first part of this question because the other two parts are reserved for the television interview that I'm going to give next week but I would like to respond to the first part in a bit of a more expansive way question was what are the mechanisms that allow people to brainwash and indoctrinate other people well number one repetition repetition is a very powerful tool verbal repetition especially if the text is identical almost identical all the time verbal repetition creates a process known as entraining and trining has been discovered about 12 years ago by neuroscientists and training simply means that when you're exposed to the same stimulus same sound your brain waves synchronize with the brain waves of the person who is producing the sound now this has been proven with music people who play music together their brain wave become so synchronized that they're indistinguishable from each other on an EEG machine and it tends to Rison that if that if you're exposed repeatedly to the same Mantra to the same slogan to the same verbal abuse to the same commands to the same injunctions time and again every day multiple times a day day in and day out month in and month out year in and year out itts to reason that you are being entrained training is a physical phenomenon physiological phenomenon your brain waves get altered modified and synchronized with the brain waves of the brainwasher or the abuser so repetition and ENT trining are the secret of brainwashing and indoctrination no wonder most religions all religions actually and most political ideologies use slogans mantras specific words that have to be repeated every day time and again this is known as prayer praying to God is a form of brainwashing it's a form of entraining the next reason is that the narrative offered in the brainwashing or indoctrination scheme The Narrative is ego syntonic in other in other words the narratives make you feel good about yourself about your place in the world about your future prospects about your morality about your standing and relative positioning about your accomplishment about anything and everything all together so brainwashing and indoctrination include texts repeated texts that make you feel good about yourself this is known in psychology as the Pleasure Principle recently we have connected the Pleasure Principle into the dopaminergic pathway in the brain it's addictive you you become addicted to it because the brainwashing narrative the indoctrination schemata allow you to fall in love with yourself allow you to experience self love in a safe environment an environment that is accepting we'll come to it in a minute the third reason is that to succumb to brainwashing to accept doctrines and indoctrination is a survival strategy it's a positive adaptation there is a motivation an inducement an incentive to inject to assimilate the voices to absorb the narrative to appropriate it and to own it and to feel authentic through it let me put it more simply if you're being brainwashed and indoctrinated in a cult or in a dictatorship or with or in a group and you resist the brainwashing and you oppose the indoctrination your survival is at stake very often your freedom maybe even your life it is dangerous to oppose brainwashing and indoctrination because these are group activities not individual and so to comply to submit to obsequiously follow the messaging of brainwashing the signaling including virtual signaling embedded in indoctrination these are all positive adaptation because they enhance your survival uh chances on the one hand and they reduce your anxiety on the other you need you need to be a lot less hypervigilant or even paranoid and finally brainwashing and indoctrination make use of the most ancient infantile mechanisms not uh of uh upbringing so brainwashing indoctrination recreate Early Childhood within the family there's a regression to a womb to a matrix to a uterus to infancy via the process of introjection injection is an infantile mechanism it happens only in childhood so brainwashing and indoctrination use injection they embedd in you they installing you in your mind a voice this voice becomes yours it's an alien voice it's coming from the outside but you're mistaken to believe that it is yours because it pays to believe this when you conform to a group you have the the power of the entire group at your disposal so it's a positive adaptation and you agree to infantilize part of the deal when you join a group when you braing washed When You're indoctrinated is that you agree to give up on your personal autonomy Independence decision-making Powers a self-efficacy agency you give up on all these things you become a child dependent again on Parental figures the parental figures conduct the brainwashing and the indoctrination you become a child or an infant once again you absorb these voices via injection and then you follow these voices because you mislabel them misidentify them as yours as authentic all this is part of what is known as peer Dynamics you become integrated into the mind of the group group thing into a hive mind like a colony of bees or a colony of ants there is an ingroup personality a cult personality you out Outsource your cognitive processes and in return what you get is a social identity is like you're saying guys or girls I want to belong to you and I'm willing to suspend my critical thinking I'm willing to give you the right to think for me I'm willing to give you the the the right to decide for me I'm going to give you the power over me in return give me your identity allow me to belong to you accept me belonging in acceptance are very powerful motivators because they're reminiscent they trigger Early Childhood experiences in the family the people who brainwash you the people who indoctrinate you they act as parental figures and everyone around you who has accepted the brainwashing and succumbed to the indoctrination they be come your siblings your brothers and sisters so the whole setup is actually a surrogate family by belonging to the group with its brainwashing program with with its indoctrination with its propaganda by belonging to this group you actually end up regulating your self-esteem s sense of self-worth and acquiring self-confidence it's as if by belonging belonging to the group you have multiplied yourself you have become multiple copies of yourself because indeed the minds of the group members or the cult members are indistinguishable from each other remember and training there's a lot of peer pressure a lot of operand conditioning a lot of normative regulation and all these drive you to become the same or similar to everyone else they homogenous ize you they make you indistinguishable a cog in the machine a commodity replaceable interchangeable and disposable and yet deceived into believing that you are somehow important by proxy somehow the value of the group reflects on you somehow just by belonging and by being accepted your social identity is elevated this is known as negative identity negative identity consists of the rejection of other people the exclusion of other people I am Superior I am elevated I'm unique because I am not the others I'm not the other the out group I am not someone else so you define your identity in contad distinction and in rejection of someone else's identity and this is known as a negative identity the group is what is called a social reference provides you a reference group like an aredian a comedian point a pivot an axis around which your mental life your psychological life can revolve as you can see brainwashing and indoctrination come hand inand with many rewards the the these are irresistible propositions especially for people who feel inferior people who are empty their lives are empty they have no goal and no direction and no purpose they feel inferior as I said they and yet they're somehow grandio they somehow aspire to uniqueness and to being recognized and so the group The ingroup provides a perfect solution but it comes at a cost the cost of suspending your mind being brainwashed indoctrinated and trained and becoming one of many when the uniqueness belongs to the group the group is unique and you are unique by virtue of belonging to it but not as an individual it's a strange combination but it works

Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin

Views: 71,110

Keywords: narcissist, codependent, borderline, gaze, body language, body, brainwashing, entraining, brainwaves, frequency, music, hypnotic, trance, depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, dissociation, control, emotions, moods, regulation, external, intimate, partner, relationship, grandiosity, helplessness, mass psychegenic, narrative, rescuer, protector, savior, paranoid, ideas, peers, flying monkeys

Id: 48zo6XIT44Y

Length: 41min 54sec (2514 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 04 2024