George Carlin Stand-Up Performance | The Dick Cavett Show

there are many people around who can really make life seem funny at all times but George Carlin seems to is it a new album I'm glad to say George Carlin FM and AM but rather than play this for you I thought it would be better to bring him out here on the stage and let him do that himself here is the very funny mr. George Carlin [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] how you doing sound like you feel good I'm in a new place here I have to take a moment you know I've never stood here before I just wanted to get used to it from oh it's nice and small and intimate how are you anyway on a different talk show a host ask me I don't mean at night necessarily there are lots of them and some of them are local and there are many many the question is something usually goes something like this what do you think about the dope problem and I say definitely I feel we have too many dopes well it's true if you count everybody if you count everyone it's kind of true cuz we're all sort of dopey I mean being a human is really no big thing we're just you know kind of dopey walking around how high you feel really nothing got all sunburned on one side last weekend you know something really big and that's why there's this drug problem that they call it this drug problem because we're just folks you know and all these drugs are available and they train us how to use them even when you stop and think about I mean everybody remember that Fraser what's matter I said wrong what take something for it hey give him something for that must be something you can take for that we'll see the doctor he'll give you something for it what have you taking something for that I get used to that they even make it easy to get started with large flavoring in those little tablets for you when you're young what don't like your head too orange in the mouth yes there'll be other colors later on and that that's the other thing is the you don't have to go to the drug company together you go to the local connection the drug store where'd you hear about the drug problem well a couple of people in the drug store we're talking about I mean they have retail stores for this thing they're afraid of yeah every three or four blocks big sign Thanks perpendicular to the building you can see it down the block and around the corner draw open all night drugs we deliver drugs cut-rate drugs it's the biggest word on the sign cosmetics fountain junkie came here from Mars he'd really feel okay I'm living near the drugstore but it's true that almost everybody has some kind of thing they rely on I mean even if it's only something you buy at the grocery store there are things that what what I mean let's start to read the beginning George the coffee freak that's part of the drug scene caffeine it's a habit-forming stimulant nobody ever bothers about it that much but there it is that little lift mrs. Olson never mentions that the lift because probably she's mainlining freeze-dried [Applause] [Music] let's say shields snort a little at the store if the lines not moving fast those brown stains on her nose no but there are coffee freaks and as I say it's the low end of the speed spectrum it might sound a little ridiculous but you can't really go after alcohol and nicotine those are the two most used drugs the most abused drugs among the most dangerous and yet they're part of the scene they support government government supports them they're okay but the other stuff down the block feels shitty raisa you know try to isolate groups I say talk about it all the coffee freak in the office you see him near the urn it's always the only tries to be in charge of the urn if he can that way he gets in an hour earlier before everyone else and drops about eight or nine cups before you even see me always in a good mood hi how are ya say ya want some coffee okay have a nice weekend god he's always in a good mood to let her down and cop at the luncheonette eventually give me a gallon the black to go would you yeah and speed is such a wrong word really good speed apply to more dangerous things but things that kept you awake used to have more friendly names Benzedrine was called Benny's that sounds like your cousin then there's a great mystique about Benny's yeah guy in college took 100m and drove to Africa learned everything in one night man mom found a little speed in those diet pills she found they did a little more than help her diet made her grind her teeth and field gene kept her on the phone a lot - where you going mom shopping at midnight mother open it might see you later man she doesn't even wait for the bus anymore she's walking to town now and the football player what people were surprised to find out football players were taken in feta means have one being up for the game used to be a kind of an emotional process now man hey you up for the game win the ball week man [Music] [Applause] [Music] there's a longer part on the end you see there's a thing about birth control that I put with this because it's my theory that most people take drugs to feel good to feel better you don't feel good take time to feel better little cup of coffee cigarette glass of wine whatever you're into it's to feel better but birth control pills are not taking to feel good they're taking not to feel bad later on I don't have time to develop that fully so maybe I can say from there if that's okay and thank you very much [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: The Dick Cavett Show

Views: 128,428

Keywords: Belly Laugh Performance, Carlin and Cavett, Carlin vs Pryor Comedy Battle, Comedy Duo Legends, Comedy Legend George Carlin, Comedy Record, Evergreen Comedy Routine, George Carlin Clips, George Carlin Laugh, George Carlin Masterpiece, George Carlin Routine, Laughter with George Carlin, Old School Comedy Icons, Stand-Up Comedy, Stand-Up Comedy Legends, Stand-Up Routine, Talk Show, The Dick Cavett Show, Timeless Comedy Performance, United States, Vintage Comedic Performance

Id: 3ug_Or2FKr8

Length: 6min 59sec (419 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 27 2019