FUN 'N' FANTASY VII Remake (Final Fantasy 7 Remake Parody)

*DISCLAIMER* The following parody contains a few, small spoilers from the original game, though out of context. -ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK- Nobuo Uematsu -ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK- Nobuo Uematsu -Aerith: "You nourish our spirits with your unconditioned love." -Aerith: "You nourish our spirits with your unconditioned love." - -ANIMATIONS / SCRIPT / SOUNDS- Matthew Shezmen ANIMATIONS / SCRIPT / SOUNDS- Matthew Shezmen "You fill our lives with joy and motivation..." "You provide the lifeblood that keeps us going..." "So for that, we thank you..." -The PATRON'S NAMES show among the mako particles- "Thank you all <3" -The PATRON'S NAMES show among the mako particles- "Thank you all <3" -Thank you for your support! Hold on....just a little longer... OK! NOW we can start the parody. Let's go! -UH!?? TITLE REVEAL: "FUN 'N' FANTASY VII REMAKE" -Come on spikey head, get yo ass down here! -Gh.... -I SAID: Get yo ass down... -FINE!!!!..... -Umph... -Not looking good. SIGN: "FIND US!" -Charlie Sheen: Hey! Not so fast hotshot...hold on a second. -What's the holdup? -Just gotta wait for the textures to load... -Whatever... -Alright all clear, let's go! -What's this sound? -It's the PS4... -I'm not sure sitting on my face is gonna help my massive headache, you know? -You better get used to this thirsty boy! It's only gonna get worse! -Not interested... -Don't you just stand there merc, do something!!!! -It's on the wall and I have no ATB bar, genius! I can't reach it!!!! -I KNOW YOU CAN! -Did you hear what I just said???? -AAARGH! -Uh!?? -GAME OVER, YOU SUCK, S*ITTY FONTS- Quote: "The planet is fine, the people are f*cked" -George Carlin -UH!?? -Jessie, look out!!!!! -OH MY GOD!!!!! Uh??? -Oh, no no no! I'm ok!!!! See? He he he! I've got plot armor for days!! He he! -I SAW YOUR BRAIN!!!!! -Ugh.... Damn it... ...this...headache... -Cloud... -Uh? What...? -L'ORÉAL Fire Rèsistant- I understand the cause of your suffering... Oh, I know it more than you could ever imagine. And I know what you are looking for... But I cannot grant you this wish just yet, Cloud. We still have so much work to do... -Uff...you're a pain in the ass you know that? Mh...might as well try these summons since I already paid for 'em... Chocobo and Carbuncle: SKREEEEEE!!!!! / BARK BARK!!! -Never mind uh? -Yup... -Anyway, I'm gonna hop on the next train. You staying?...UH? -OH HELL NO! GET ME OUTTA HERE! President: -Is this thing on already?... Reeve: -Yes Mister President....I'm sorry. In three, two, one. -Dear Citizens. On the wake of this terrible terrorist attack Midgar has been put on its knees, with people losing their homes and shortages of medical supplies. This, of course, is not just an excuse to shift the blame to others and hide our bad management. So for all these reasons... We urge ALL OF YOU good citizens to pre-order your spot in Neo-Midgar! Don't waste any time! Call now! "PRE-ORDER YOUR SPOT NOW!" -Order subject to delay depending on events like metors being summoned or other shit totally out of our control -Money back not guaranteed, cause f*ck you. -Wow....what an asshole. People fall for a scam like that? -Yeah...my parents already pre-ordered their spot years ago. F*cking simps... -Umph... -SIGN: "TERRORISM!"- -HELLS YEAH!!! WE GOOD!!! -We did it! -*911, what's your emergency?* -Yes! Great job! -Um yes, I would like to report a group of armed terrorists... -That's right! -Go team! -Wohooo!!! -I'm really glad to have you back, Cloud. REALLY glad. -Um... ...thanks. -What's that thing you got there? -Oh...this?... Oh, it's just a... -THE NEXT DAY...- *CLOUD PLEASE...* -Tifa!!! My dear, dear girl!!! Oh... What's he doing here... -Jeez, first that hooded weirdo last night... and now this old lady?... This sucks. -Cloud?!!!! Be nice!!! -Tifa...can I tell you something? -Huh? -You should keep your back straight. That position is really not good for your posture. There you go! -GRRRR... -Uh? -HA!!! Umph! If you can't take a hint... then at least take an uppercut to the face. -MISSION 2 START! (METAL SLUG STYLE TITLE)- -Oh ho hooooo! I can feel the FUEL flowing in my veins!!!! WROOOMMM!!! Hahahaha!!! These wheels are TURNING me on...he he he... Hah! Haaa-HA! And after this fight is over...I'll surely be... EXHAUSTED! WAAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! UH!?? WAAAAAAA- -...my hero!!! <3 -"NEXT MISSION."- -Ugh......mh. ...You okay? -.............suuure. -"LIMIT BREAK"- -"LIMIT BREAK"- -Let's dance asshole. Hah! Umph.....nothing to it. UH? AAAAA- -GOD......DAYUUUUUUM!!! -Ok guys, we gotta head over to the next lamp. Two more and we're good to go! Oh? -I CAN'T! I can't do this! This level sucks too much! I rather kill myself...*gulp* -CLOUD!!!! Oh NO!!! -Well......can't really blame the dude... this level sucks. -Uuuuh??? -OH, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!! -Should be everything. I got rid of the A.I. core, the missiles and the fuel tank as well. -You sure we're not making this too easy for us? -Who cares! If the game allows it, why not doing it! *Transformers sounds* -Song title: "Those Who Fight More But Not Too Much Cause It Gets Tiring Sometimes"- -Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhh........ -This mudaf*cka doesn't even come with batteries... -UH!?? OH NOW YOU DON'T SAVE ME ANYMORE??? F*CK YOUUUUUU!!!!! -I'm not gonna explain this joke. -"IGNORE THE TIME OF DAY CHANGE"- -I'm not gonna explain this joke. -I'll see myself in, thanks. And...who are you? -Seriously? You look even more anime than me... How's that even possible? -It's ok Cloud! Let's just calm down everybody!... -...Alright I'm gonna kick your ass! Uh?... GHHHGHGHGHGGHGHLLLHLHLHLL *electrocuted* -Hehehe! -Ghhhh....uuuughh.... -*GASPS* -Oh nooo! Not the floooooowers!!!! -.....f*ck....you.... -Mmmh....I don't know about this "flower girl"... she just seems too... ...perfect! -Aerith! -Aerith!!! -Hey Look! It's Aerith! -Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! *giggling in slow motion* -Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! *giggling in slow motion* -Aerith, you're back!!! -Remember when Aerith found the cure for the Chocovirus? -Yeah, not to mention when she prevented the collapse of pillar nine and... -Alright! That's enough already!!!! -What's with all the doom and gloom all the time, Cloud? Just smile for a change! -I'm gonna stab you. -"TIME FOR A TOUGH BOSS FIGHT!"- -Please, can you two just talk like normal adults??? -Stay away from my daughter, or I'll shove this up your ass! -M'am, your daughter is Disney as f*ck... but I'm gonna date the shit out of her at some point. -Ugh.....Huh... -Just leaves us alone! We don't want any trouble. -Yeah. Go home! -Hmph... You can defeat me however many times you want... But you'll NEVER defeat my army of shades! -What's that suppose to mean, I don't get it. -Wait, let me check... ...Yeah don't worry about it, it'll come into play later. -What are you talking about!???????? -UUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHH....... -"SHE KNOWS ALL OF THE THINGS"- -Mister swordsman! One of our friends got kidnapped in the scrap yard by a monster! Can you help us??? -No. *hopeless, desperate crying* -No regurts. (no regrets) -YES! We did it team!!!! UP TOP! Uuuh? -"DIDN'T ENJOY THE MINI-GAME"- -Huh? ...Tifa?? -Tifah! -Curaudo! -Tifahhh!!! -Curaudo!!! -Tifa, what's going on here!? -Cloud, I'm heading to Don Corneo's hideout. You don't need to worry about me though, I'll be OK! I mean, you saw how much ass I can kick, right? -Yup! See you later! *whistling* -Announcers: "Enter..." "The Hell House!!!" -Where have you been Cloud?!! What did you do in there?!! -Um...winning the fight?.. -What??? What do you mean? Huh!?? AAHH! -You're welcome... SIGN: "Must protect my balls" Song: "A Whole New World" SIGN: "Must protect my balls" Song: "A Whole New World" -Cloud, come on! Don't be shy, silly! Let me take a look at you! A-are you alright? ...Cloud? Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!! *trembling scream* -Nailed it, I know. Thank you. Moving on. -"PERFECTION."- -Don't ever be afraid, Cloud... - *unanimously* Shadow of the Colossus! -Huh? -WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!! SIGN: "CAREFUL: ITCHY-NOSE" -You know...after all of this is over... We should go shopping topside together! -*Gasps* I would love that. -We can be just like two sisters hanging out! -He he he! I can't wait! -Wow! You two seem to get along pretty well! -Uuuh! He he...I'm sorry!... -It's ok, keep focusing! -Uh oh.... -Uuuuh...No big deal! ...let's try one more time. -Ops!!! -YOU STUPID DUMB B*TCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -AAAAAAH!!! -"THIS CHAPTER SUCKS...LET'S MAKE IT BETTER!"- *Animated sequence in the style of the game Cuphead* -"THANKS 64 BITS GUYS, SERIOUSLY!"- -(64 bits) No problem! -Guys, look! -Mh? -The ghosts are trying to send us a message! -MESSAGE: "HURRY THE F*CK UP" - -Heh.......looks like......there's not gonna be any pizza for us..... ....cause...the plate... is...falling?... Aah... -Can you help me throw her over the railing? -Yes. -Psych!....PSYCH!!! -Ugh......ngh.....ggh....ugh... *crawling* -Shouldn't we try to stop him from pressing the button?... -Naaa, don't even bother fam! Those hooded ghosts are gonna stop him anyways! -Yeah...he's right. Oh no...don't do it... *COSTA DEL SOL theme playing* -You can break me...nngh... But you'll never stop MY SHADES!!! -Speaker: "Commencing separation sequence." -Mister President! The situation is out of control. The PS4 cannot handle these graphics! At least let us play a pre-rendered cutscene Sir!... -Like I give a shit... ...Scarlet? -Yessss Mr. President? -Prepare my golden desert eagle, with abundant lubrification... -Mmmh....with pleasure. -I'm going to enjoy the fireworks... - "CAT REACTION TO CONFUSE NEWCOMERS"- -GOD DAMN IT!!! YOU MOTHER F*CKERS! I SWEAR TO GOD YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -Text: "DOLPHIN FLURRY"- -Hayyaaaaa!!! Stupid!...Mass Effect!...Rejects! You couldn't come up with something more original? -Yo, what about this one? Looks kind of original to me! -No, that's from a sci-fi movie... -Oh, what the hell... -Aaaagh....why do I keep getting these headaches?... Hey... You have any aspirin in stock? -I'm terribly sorry kind customer But unfortunately this store doesn't include the item you requested. *PC port mouth glitch* -Ugh....it sucks... I can't believe I can't find a single aspirin in this shitty- GHHHHH!!? -Sir, I'm just a stock NPC from Unreal Engine 4... I don't know what you're talking about, I just stand here! Please don't hurt me. -Everybody cool with skipping this recycled sewer level? -Yup! This is bullshit... -Totally. Leslie sucks anyway. -What did you guys say? -U-UUH...NOTHING Leslie! You're GREAT. -"SQUARE WHY..."- -HUH!?? -GO! I'll buy you some time! -Ugh!... -Uhhh Cloud, I think we got a problem here. -No shit! He's shooting at me right now! -Nah, I'm talkin 'bout a BIIIIG problem over here. -Uh? -I....uh... I don't even know how to describe this shit... *Megaman style "Wiley's Castle" Theme* "you are here" -Ready to take the stairs everyone? Wooohoo!!! This is gonna be a hell of a workout! -Ugh....you serious? The stairs? It has to be like sixty floors high! ...why not just take the elevator. -Uff...you guys are such a pain in the ass! Especially you Cloud... You're acting as if you were stuck on a wheelchair or something...get a grip! *Cloud has a vision of the future from the original FF7* -WHAT THE F*CK TIFA!?? -Speaker: "We will lead you into a better, cleaner future." -...The hell? ...That was SICK!!! I think I've changed my mind! -I know right? I'm totally on board now! -Folks, what are we even doin' here, let's go home! -Can I watch it one more time? -FAKE GAME CREDITS ROLL- -Hah! Feels good to fight without actually risking our lives for a change! -Hell yeah for combat simulators! -You know it! -Uh!?? -Oh my! I must re-calibrate the simulator so I can harvest even more corpses! -"LET'S CHECK IN ON HOJO!"- -We collected and catalogued every last bit of her... Hair, skin, organs...every fragment of every bone! -"YEESH! OK, NEVER F#CKING MIND."- -As breathtaking in death as in life!!! -Show me your power! UH... HAAAAAAA!!!!! ....HA!!! -"CRITICAL 999999999999999"- -Are you actually kidding me?!! The cutscene nullified the damage?????? You can't be serious!!!!! -Nice to meet you! I could have killed this cthulhu motherf*cker in one shot!!!!! -Oh...I'm sorry.... -Give me a break! -So...uh.....what the hell is it? -A fascinating question... -*GASPS* Oh my god, did it just talk??? -Tha f*ck??? -You asked what IT is... I am that which you see before you. Nothing more- -SIT. That's a good boy. -...and so....this is why they kept me and my mom living inside this room for many, many years... -Wow. -Uh? -That's really interesting... That means that you and your mom must have taken like AT LEAST a thousand shits in this toilet! ...two thousand? -HAAAAAA!!! HA!!! -Look at that, Cloud! We're in the same pose as that other parody! Isn't that beautiful... -Gggrr...stop plugging his other shit, you fourth-wall breaking prick! AAAAAAAAH!!!! *distant* -Enjoy swapping materia for the next 2 hours! *laughs* -Aaahhh!!! Aaaaaaah! -GHH! AAGHHH!!!! -You really went for the lowest hanging fruit, didn't ya?... -Get off of me!! LET ME GO!!!! -I'm comiiiiing! /she actually says this in the game XD/ -Tha f*ck?..... -"SSNet NEWS Logo"- -Breaking news! Our Invincible Leader Supreme, President Shinra has single-handedly killed the Avalanche member Barret Wallace during the insurrection at the Shinra building! Huh? Um... It seems that two more terrorist members of Avalanche, Jessie Raspberry and Biggs... just... "Biggs"... have also died in the plate accident! *chuckles* What a bunch of dumbasses, am I right? For this very reason, they will certainly not appear in part 2 I repeat, they will not be in part 2. Are you f*cking kidding me right now? -You're a SOLDIER aren't you? -Umph... Ex SOLDIER...I quit. I'm Wutai's K-POP Dance Team now. -Mh... Which of course, would mean that I own you. -Uh?...What? ...What's the meaning of this??? GAAAH!!!!! -Uuuum...I'm not sure any of us are doing enough damage... -If you need someone to step up....I'm your MAN! *Cough cough cough!...* -Shut up and STAY YO ASS DEAD! -Hang on, guys! Help is coming!! -I SAID: STAY YO ASS DEAD. WHICH YO BITCH ASS. BEFORE BARRET PULL A BA-RR-ETTA OUT ON YO ASS... AND THEN IT'S "CLICK-CLACK" MUTHA FUCKA. CLICK.........CLACK!!! B-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-ETT!!!! -"AVALANCHE, WE DON'T F*CK AROUND."- -Guys I need to focus on the road, is Cloud doing ok??? -Umph....That's what you get for not giving me that high five!!! -Wadup, bitches? *GOLD SAUCER music playing in the distance* -Wow. I have to say that I'm impressed... You scoundrels really did a number on me in this one, huh? I didn't like that story one bit. -Ugh!.......Shut up!!! -Mh mh...I propose to change it. -So tell me Cloud............. Have you ever played KINDGOM HEARTS??? -Kingdom Hearts VII Logo- -We can beat them! -Are you f*cking HIGH???? -"LITERALLY HOURS LATER"- -Yes! We did it! -Woohooo!!! Let's go team!!! -See, Cloud? I told you we were gonna make it! -Whatever... -MMMM!!!! Uh? Oh shit... -Uh? *ONE WINGED ANGEL REBIRTH PLAYS* Pop up: "Please insert the Blu-Ray for "Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children" in your Ps4 to continue." -Give me THAT!!!!!!! I SAID GIVE IT TO MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!! NGHHH!!! Uh!?? -You cannot wait to visit Cosmo Canyon... ...don't you Cloud? *hums Cosmo Canyon's Theme* -GRRR....I don't know what you are talking about!... -Just one nipple Cloud. One nipple. -UUH?!...Ngh! -But what will you do with it? -Tell me! How are you gonna justify killing shitty mobs and low level enemies in part two at level 50? HUH??? -GH!?? -Oh, you don't need to worry about that... I know how to "level the playing field"... Now Cloud...take all the pills you want... I promise you the wait will be less painful... Until we meet again!... -Ngh...agh....*climbs* ...huh? HEEEEEEEEEEEEY! What's up Aerith??????? He he he he he! -ANIMATIONS . SCRIPT . SOUNDS- Matthew Shezmen -VOICE ACTING- Matthew Shezmen Dottovu Isabelle Amponin SSJ9K Ryan Do Chuck Brown Allanah Fitzgerald Gianni Matragrano Adam New Riley Maness Sam Miller Chad Fischer Marc Urban Amanda Hufford SquillaKilla Faraaz Khan Terrance Nicholson Mike Brown Chandler Herr -ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK- Nobuo Uematsu -ANIMATED CUPHEAD SEQUENCE- 64 Bits Animation -SONGS USED- Metal Slug "Main Theme", Cuphead "Railroad Wrath" Shadow Of The Colossus "Silence", Doom Eternal "Kalibas The Sightless Judge" -TOP PATRONS- -THANKS TO ALL MY AWESOME SUPPORTERS!-

Channel: Matthew Shezmen

Views: 1,325,957

Keywords:

Id: gbu4r5sOCQs

Length: 25min 31sec (1531 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 25 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/imaforgetthis]

Wow. I've never seen this creator's work before, but I'm impressed at how high the production values are for something that's not full-on paid content. It was also a lot funnier than I expected it to be. The 4th wall-breaking moments definitely hit close to home for anyone who's completed the game. Especially the spoiler.