TONIGHT... YOU ALL IN? YES, MA'AM. ...IYANLA IS BACK. THE SEASON PREMIERE EVERYONE WILL BE TALKING ABOUT. WHY ARE YOU BACK HERE NOW? NFL SUPERSTAR TERRELL OWENS. THERE'S A MAN DOWN ON THE FIELD. THAT MAN WOULD BE YOU, BOO. THIS IS AS REAL AS IT GETS. NO MORE EXCUSES, TERRELL. THIS AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MEDIA OR THE QUARTERBACK OR THE COACH. THE WOMEN. THIS IS WHY YOU GOT FOUR KIDS BY FOUR MAMAS. THE CONTROVERSY. YOU GOT TO BE SEEN IN THE END ZONE. GOT TO BE SEEN. GOT TO MAKE A SCENE. I AIN'T IMPRESSED... BY YOU. THE FALLOUT. WHAT IF YOUR NFL CAREER IS OVER? NEXT. Iyanla: LIFE HAPPENS TO EVERYBODY, EVEN ME. LIFE DIDN'T CARE THAT I HAD WRITTEN A BUNCH OF BOOKS, TRAVELED THE WORLD, SPEAKING, MARRIED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, LIVED IN MY DREAM HOME, AND MADE A BUNCH OF MONEY, AND THEN LIFE LEFT ME BROKE AND FEELING BROKEN. THE ONLY WAY TO GET BACK WAS TO DO THE WORK. I DID MY WORK AND PUT MY LIFE BACK TOGETHER PIECE BY PIECE. I AM IYANLA VANZANT, AND I AM HERE TO HELP YOU DO YOUR WORK. [ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS ] I'M IN ALEXANDER CITY, ALABAMA, BECAUSE THERE IS A MAN DOWN ON THE FIELD. LIKE SO MANY MEN IN THIS CITY, IN THIS STATE, IN THIS COUNTRY, HE HAS LOST HIS WAY. TERRELL OWENS WAS ONCE A RECORD-BREAKING WIDE RECEIVER IN THE NFL. Announcer: TERRELL OWENS. TOUCHDOWN, SAN FRANCISCO. Man: THIS IS A DUDE WITH 153 CAREER TOUCHDOWNS. THIS IS HALL-OF-FAME NUMBERS. Announcer: TOUCHDOWN CATCH OVER THE SHOULDER. Iyanla: BUT WHAT MADE T.O. A SUPERSTAR AND FRONT-PAGE HEADLINER WAS HIS OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR BOTH ON AND OFF THE FIELD. A LOT OF PEOPLE KNOW ME FOR MY POST-TOUCHDOWN CELEBRATIONS -- THE POM-POMS, THE SHARPIE, GOING TO THE DALLAS STAR. Announcer: AND OWENS DRAWS MORE BOOS BY STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLUE STAR AND LOOKING HEAVENWARD AND SPREADING HIS ARMS. Announcer #2: YOU GOT TO HAVE A LITTLE MORE CLASS THAN THAT. Iyanla: HIS IN-YOUR-FACE PERSONALITY LANDED HIM MAGAZINE COVERS, BOOK DEALS, TV APPEARANCES, A MODELING CONTRACT, AND A REALITY SHOW. BUT HIS TENDENCY TO SHOWBOAT RUBBED MANY THE WRONG WAY. Terrell: I HAD STARTED TO GET THAT LABEL AS THE VILLAIN, AS A GUY THAT DISRUPTS LOCKER ROOMS, DESTROYS TEAMS, CAN'T GET ALONG WITH THEIR TEAMMATES -- REALLY JUST ME BEING ALL ABOUT SELF. THE QUESTION IS, IS HE WORTH TAKING A CHANCE ON? Terrell: I GOT CRITICIZED FOR, YOU KNOW, BEING TOO HONEST ABOUT CERTAIN SITUATIONS IN GAMES, AND THEY LET ME KNOW THAT I WAS THROWING GUYS UNDER THE BUS. Iyanla: DESPITE HIS PEAK ATHLETIC CONDITION, TERRELL HASN'T PLAYED A REGULAR SEASON GAME IN THE NFL SINCE 2010 AND SAYS HIS WORLD HAS BEEN FALLING APART. HE NEEDS TO LET ME KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY ACCOUNTS. I STARTED FINDING OUT THAT I DIDN'T HAVE ALL THE MONEY THAT I THOUGHT I HAD. FOOTBALL SEASON IS ON A STANDSTILL, SO I HAVE NO INCOME AT THIS POINT. NONE. I'VE LOST A GREAT DEAL OF MONEY. AND HAVING FOUR KIDS AND HAVING TO SHELL OUT, AT ONE POINT IN TIME, ALMOST $45,000 A MONTH IN CHILD SUPPORT, IT'S BEEN A HARD PILL TO SWALLOW. TERRELL MAY FEEL LIKE THIS IS A FIRING SQUAD BECAUSE HE'S FACING THREE WOMEN WITH WHOM HE'S HAD CHILDREN. TERRELL WANTS TO DO THE BARE MINIMUM. NONE OF THEM ARE SHARING A LOT OF LOVE. THE ONLY TIME THAT ANY OF YOU PICKED UP THE PHONE IS BECAUSE OF MONEY. YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT TRUE. Terrell: NOW I'M LABELED A DEADBEAT DAD. I'M NOT A BAD PERSON. I'M NOT HOW THE MEDIA'S PORTRAYED ME. WHERE DID I GO WRONG? WHAT DID I DO WRONG? Iyanla: THIS OUT-OF-WORK NFL SUPERSTAR SAYS IT WAS BAD MEDIA THAT DESTROYED HIS REPUTATION. TERRELL SAYS HE FEELS LIKE HE'S LOST EVERYTHING MEANINGFUL IN HIS LIFE AND HAS NOWHERE TO TURN. I'M IN THE REAL WORLD NOW. AND I HAVE BEEN EXPOSED TO WHAT THE REAL WORLD IS. YOU GET TO THE POINT WHERE IT'S LIKE, "MAN, IS IT WORTH LIVING FOR?" THIS IS A MAN WHO COMES FROM VERY, VERY HUMBLE BEGINNINGS WHO GAINED THE WORLD -- THE FAME, THE FORTUNE, THE MONEY, THE WOMEN, TRAVELED TO PLACES MOST PEOPLE IN ALEXANDER CITY DON'T EVEN KNOW EXISTS. AND NOW WHERE IS HE? BACK HOME [CHUCKLES] AT THE HUMBLE BEGINNINGS. THE PENALTIES OF YOUR FALL, THE PENALTIES OF YOUR BEHAVIOR, THE PENALTIES OF YOUR CHOICES AS A MAN COST YOU... COST YOU DEARLY. TERRELL OWENS. GOOD MORNING. [ LAUGHS ] Terrell: HOW ARE YOU? HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD. OH, MY GOD. YOU GUYS THAT ALWAYS LOOK SO HUGE AND LARGE ON TELEVISION, YOU AIN'T THAT BIG. NO, NO. I JUST PLAY BIG. YEAH. PLAY BIG. THAT'S IT. REALLY? DO YOU REALLY? THAT'S IT. COME ON. LET'S TAKE A WALK. SO, WE WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT WHAT IT IS THAT YOU WANT ME TO DO. I MEAN, I THINK IT'S JUST TO HELP ME PERSONALLY, PROFESSIONALLY. I MAY HAVE MENTIONED THE MEDIA. THAT'S PART OF IT. UM, THERE'S... WHY ARE YOU BACK HERE NOW? FROM YOUR MOUTH, FROM YOUR HEART, THAT'S WHAT I NEED TO HEAR. WELL, I KNOW, AND, NUMBER ONE, I'M NOT HAPPY AS I WOULD LIKE TO BE. THERE'S A MAN DOWN ON THE FIELD. THAT MAN WOULD BE YOU, BOO. RIGHT. HOW'D YOU GET THERE? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. COME ON. TALK TO ME. WELL, I MEAN, MISTAKES, IMMATURITY... IRRESPONSIBILITY. NOW WE TALKING. OBVIOUSLY, NOW I DON'T HAVE A JOB. I'M TRYING TO REBUILD. I MEAN, ME FINDING OUT A LOT OF THINGS ABOUT MY FINANCIAL SITUATION WITH PEOPLE THAT I TRUSTED. UM...EVEN FRIENDS -- LET ME CLEAN THIS UP RIGHT NOW. IF MONEY IS THE ONLY PROBLEM, WE AIN'T GOT NO PROBLEM BECAUSE MONEY MEANS "MY OWN NATURAL ENERGY YIELD." SO THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH MONEY IS YOU. THERE'S A LOT OF ISSUES BEYOND THE MONEY ISSUE. THAT'S NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING. I THINK, FOR ME, IT'S BECOMING A BETTER PERSON, A BETTER FATHER, YOU KNOW, TRYING TO LEARN TO BE A MAN. YOU MAXIMIZED YOUR TALENTS AND DIDN'T MASTER YOUR CRAFT. YOUR FIRST CRAFT IS BEING A MAN. RIGHT. ABSOLUTELY. AND, SEE, YOUR TALENTS, SKILLS, AND ABILITIES, TERRELL, CAN ONLY TAKE YOU SO FAR. RIGHT. THEY CAN'T SUSTAIN YOU. WHAT SUSTAINS YOU IS YOUR CHARACTER, YOUR VALUES, YOUR VISION. AND THOSE PARTS OF YOU WERE UNDEVELOPED. THAT'S EYE-OPENING. I MEAN, I UNDERSTAND. I UNDERSTAND IT. I HAVE A CONFESSION, OKAY? I DON'T DIT NOR DIDDLY ABOUT FOOTBALL. [ LAUGHS ] SO THE POINT IS, I AIN'T IMPRESSED... BY YOU. RIGHT. THAT'S FAIR TO SAY. OKAY? AND WE GONNA DO THIS, BUT YOU GOT TO BE WILLING TO FOLLOW ME INTO SOME SCARY PLACES THAT AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOTBALL. GOOD? I'M HERE. THAT'S WHY I'M HERE. OKAY. SO, YOU ALL IN? I'M NOT ABOUT BAILING. YOU ALL IN? YES, MA'AM. I'M IN. THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY NOW. [ LAUGHS ] THIS IS WHERE IT STARTED. TELL ME ABOUT THIS HOUSE. THIS IS MY GRANDMOTHER'S HOUSE. IT'S WHERE I GREW UP. WHAT ARE THE MOST NEGATIVE WORDS YOU WOULD SAY ABOUT IT? NEGATIVE? MM-HMM. TOUGH CHILDHOOD. TOUGH. LET'S GO IN. [ CHUCKLES ] WHEN TERRELL WAS BORN, HIS MOTHER, MARILYN, WAS ONLY 17 YEARS OLD. STRUGGLING TO MAKE ENDS MEET, MARILYN SENT TERRELL TO LIVE WITH HIS GRANDMOTHER, ALICE BLACK. WHAT DO YOU KNOW THIS ROOM TO BE? THIS USED TO BE THE ROOM WHERE I USED TO SLEEP. BECAUSE TERRELL'S MOTHER MARILYN WORKED TWO JOBS, HE SAYS HIS GRANDMOTHER RAISED HIM. WHAT WAS YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF WHY YOU WERE LIVING WITH YOUR GRANDMOTHER IF YOU HAD A LIVING MOTHER? WHAT WAS YOUR UNDERSTANDING OF THAT? Terrell: [ SIGHS ] AT THAT AGE, I PROBABLY DIDN'T -- I WASN'T EVEN TRYING TO COMPREHEND WHY I WAS DOING THAT, BUT, IF ANYTHING, I WAS PROBABLY TOO SCARED TO ASK. MM. IF YOU LIVED IN THIS HOUSEHOLD WITH ALICE BLACK, YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN SCARED TO ASK TO GO USE THE BATHROOM. TELL ME ABOUT ALICE BLACK. SHE WAS A VERY STRICT, TOUGH LADY. I GOT MY SHARE OF WHUPPINGS. BECAUSE? JUST BEING A KID. SO. YOU GOT BEATEN? OH, YEAH. WE GOT WHUPPINGS, WHICH NOW, I MEAN -- IF YOU DID THAT TODAY -- I -- I REALLY WANT YOU TO HEAR THIS. JUST BEING A KID, JUST DOING THE NORMAL THINGS THAT KIDS DO GOT YOU WHIPPED. BUT AS I GOT OLDER, I UNDERSTOOD THAT THAT WAS TOUGH LOVE. BUT DID YOU FEEL LOVED? NO, I DIDN'T. I NEVER HEARD HER SAY, "I LOVE YOU." NEITHER DID I WITH MY MOM, GROWING UP. YOU'VE GOT TO GET CLEAR ABOUT THE DAMAGE THEY CAUSED YOU. THIS IS NOT ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER, BABY. THIS IS ABOUT YOUR BROKEN HEART. YOU'RE RIGHT. I'VE BEEN HURT ALL THIS TIME AND NOT ASKED FOR HELP. THAT'S A HARD THING FOR A MAN TO DO. BEEN SAD PLENTY OF TIMES. YEAH. PLENTY OF NIGHTS. YEAH. YEAH. I WANT YOU TO DIG DOWN IN HERE, AND I WANT YOU TO FIND THE VOICE OF YOUR HEART. WHAT DOES YOUR HEART SAY? JUST... ...WHEN I KNOW -- THERE WERE TIMES WHEN, ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING IN, PEOPLE THOUGHT I WAS AT MY HAPPIEST OR AT MY BEST, I WAS SAD. WHEN I WENT HOME, I WAS SAD. YEAH. I WAS LONELY. YEAH. YOU'VE BECOME A VICTIM OF YOUR TALENT. PEOPLE NEVER STOP TO ASK YOU, "TERRELL OWENS, HOW YOU BE? "HOW YOU BE? "YOU CAN RUN FAST, BUT HOW'S YOUR HEART? YOU CAN CATCH A BALL, BUT HOW'S YOUR SOUL?" I'M OKAY. NO, YOU'RE NOT. You're [bleep] up. YOU'RE A 40-YEAR-OLD VETERAN ATHLETE WHO DOESN'T HAVE A TEAM, WITH NO VISION ABOUT WHAT TO DO NEXT, FOUR CHILDREN WHO ARE LOOKING UP TO YOU. WHO BE TERRELL OWENS? I DON'T KNOW YET. I DON'T KNOW. GOOD ANSWER. WHAT IF YOUR NFL CAREER IS OVER? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO TO FIND VALUE AND MEANING IN YOUR LIFE FROM THIS POINT FORWARD? AND WHAT IF YOUR PURPOSE RIGHT NOW IN LIFE IS TO BECOME THE REAL TERRELL OWENS? WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO? YOUR NEIGHBOR IS YOUR FATHER, AND NOBODY HAS A CONVERSATION WITH YOU ABOUT THAT? THAT'S HIS DADDY'S HOUSE RIGHT THERE. THAT'S HIS FATHER'S HOUSE. YOU COULD SPIT INTO HIS FRONT DOOR. WHEN A SON IS IN TROUBLE, IT'S THE FATHER'S RESPONSIBILITY TO SHOW UP. [ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ] Iyanla: I'M IN ALEXANDER CITY, ALABAMA -- THE HOMETOWN OF TERRELL OWENS, A RECORD-BREAKING NFL WIDE RECEIVER WITH A BAD REPUTATION. TERRELL'S CRITICS SAY SPITTING AT HIS RIVALS, BAD-MOUTHING HIS TEAMMATES, EXCESSIVE CELEBRATIONS, AND DIVISIVE LOCKER-ROOM BEHAVIOR HAS KEPT HIM OUT OF THE NFL. TERRELL SAYS SINCE THEN, HE'S LOST EVERYTHING HIS HARD WORK GOT HIM. FOOTBALL SEASON IS ON A STANDSTILL, SO I HAVE NO INCOME AT THIS POINT. NONE. HE FEELS HIS FORMER TEAMMATES AND FRIENDS HAVE ALL TURNED THEIR BACKS ON HIM. YOU KNOW, AS I THINK BACK AT THE HEIGHT OF MY CAREER WITH, LIKE, HOW MANY FRIENDS AND HOW MANY DEALS AND STUFF YOU WERE GETTING ON THE REGULAR WHEN YOU WERE HOT, BUT NOW I CAN COUNT MY FRIENDS ON ONE HAND. Iyanla: HE'S STRUGGLING TO FATHER HIS FOUR CHILDREN BY FOUR DIFFERENT WOMEN, MOST OF WHOM HAVE ACCUSED TERRELL OF BEING A DEADBEAT DAD. WHERE DID I GO WRONG? WHAT DID I DO WRONG? Iyanla: I ASKED HIM TO TAKE ME BACK TO HIS CHILDHOOD HOME BECAUSE I SENSED THIS IS WHERE IT ALL STARTED FOR HIM. Iyanla: SO, WHERE WAS YOUR FATHER? DO YOU KNOW YOUR FATHER? WELL, I HAD A -- HE WASN'T IN THE HOUSE TO RAISE ME. WHERE WAS HE? WHERE WAS HE? HE WAS ACROSS THE STREET. WHY WAS HE OVER THERE? THAT'S WHERE HE LIVED. THAT'S WHERE HIS FAMILY WAS. AT THE YOUNG AGE OF 11, TERRELL MADE A SHOCKING DISCOVERY. I WAS INTERESTED IN ONE OF THE FEMALES THAT WERE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, AND HE BASICALLY TOLD ME THAT THE GIRL THAT I'M LIKING IS MY SISTER, SO THAT CAN'T HAPPEN. TERRELL WAS THE RESULT OF AN AFFAIR HIS MOTHER HAD WITH THE MARRIED MAN WHO LIVED ACROSS THE STREET, AND FOR 11 YEARS, IT WAS KEPT A SECRET FROM HIM. YOUR NEIGHBOR IS YOUR FATHER, AND NOBODY HAS A CONVERSATION WITH YOU ABOUT THAT? OKAY. CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A MINUTE. I WANT YOU TO GO BACK THERE FOR ME. WHAT DO YOU IMAGINE AN 11-YEAR-OLD BOY WOULD SAY WHEN HIS ACROSS-THE-STREET NEIGHBOR SAYS NOT THAT, "I'M YOUR FATHER," BUT, "DON'T LIKE HER 'CAUSE SHE'S YOUR SISTER"? WHAT THE HAY? WHERE DID YOU GO AFTER THAT, TERRELL? I HAD TO COME BACK HERE. TO MEAN, OLD MISS ALICE. DID YOU TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED? AND WHAT DID SHE SAY? WHAT DID SHE SAY? CAN YOU SPEAK IT? DOES IT HAVE SOUND? DOES IT HAVE SOUND? IT DON'T HAVE TO HAVE WORDS. DOES IT HAVE SOUND? WHAT WAS IT? COME ON. TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND. STAND UP. TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND. FACE THIS WAY. I WILL NOT IMPUGN YOUR DIGNITY. TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND. TURN AROUND. STAY THERE. GIVE ME A MINUTE. DOES IT HAVE SOUND, TERRELL? DOES IT HAVE SOUND? DOES IT? HE DIDN'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE HE WAS YOUR FATHER. HE JUST ACKNOWLEDGED SHE WAS YOUR SISTER. IT JUST HURTS THAT, FOR 11 YEARS, I DIDN'T KNOW WHO MY DAD WAS. AND YOU WERE LOOKING AT HIM EVERY DAY FROM THE PORCH. I SAW HIM. YEAH. SEE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO BE MAD AT YOUR MAMA... MAD AT MISS ALICE... MAD AT GOD... MAD AT YOUR FATHER. TERRELL, YOU CAN'T PROTECT THEM. YOU GOT TO TAKE CARE OF YOU. THIS IS WHY YOU GOT FOUR KIDS BY FOUR MAMAS. THIS IS WHY YOU CAN'T CONNECT WITH YOUR SONS. THIS IS WHY YOU CREATE DISRUPTION IN THE LOCKER ROOM. THIS RIGHT HERE. THIS IS WHY YOU GOT TO BE SEEN IN THE END ZONE. GOT TO BE SEEN. GOT TO MAKE A SCENE. WHEN YOU LIVE ACROSS THE STREET FROM YOUR FATHER AND HE DOESN'T ACKNOWLEDGE YOU, OH, YOU WANT TO BE SEEN. I WANT YOU TO TURN AROUND AND LOOK AT ME 'CAUSE I REALLY WANT YOU TO HEAR ME. THE PEOPLE... ...WHO WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL, EMOTIONAL, AND SPIRITUAL WELL-BEING... ...FAILED YOU. ALL OF THEM. YEAH. THEY SHOULD HAVE SAT ME DOWN. WHO WOULD THE "THEY" BE? THEY WOULD BE EITHER MY MOM OR MY DAD OR THEM TOGETHER. HOW HAVE YOU DONE TO YOUR CHILDREN WHAT YOUR FATHER DID TO YOU? NOT BEING THERE. MAYBE USING THE EXCUSE OF PROXIMITY, DISTANCE -- NOT "MAYBE." NOT "MAYBE." OWN IT, BROTHER. OWN IT, BROTHER. DISTANCE. YEAH. I WANT YOU TO SEE REAL CLEARLY THAT YOU HAVE RE-CREATED YOUR PARENTS' PATHOLOGY. AND IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TOOLS AND SKILLS THAT THEY DIDN'T GIVE YOU TO GET UP OFF THIS FIELD. I WANT TO BREAK THAT CYCLE. IN ORDER FOR TERRELL TO MOVE FORWARD, HE'S GOT TO CLEAN UP HIS PAST, AND I SENSE IT STARTS WITH HIS FATHER. Iyanla: WHEN I LOOK AT THE CONDITION OF HIS SOUL AND HIS HEART -- CRIMINAL. THIS IS CRIMINAL. YEAH. I MEAN, 'CAUSE LOOK AT THE VANTAGE POINT. THAT'S HIS DADDY'S HOUSE RIGHT THERE. RIGHT THERE. THAT'S HIS FATHER'S HOUSE. YOU COULD SPIT INTO HIS FRONT DOOR. TERRELL'S FATHER, MR. RUSSELL, TOLD MY PRODUCERS HE DID NOT WANT TO PARTICIPATE, BUT, IN MY MIND, HE'S BEEN QUIET TOO LONG. I ASKED THE CAMERAS TO STAY BACK. I THINK IT WAS IMPORTANT FOR ME TO HAVE THE CONVERSATION WITH TERRELL'S FATHER BECAUSE HE'S A PIVOTAL PLAYER IN THIS EXPERIENCE. WHEN A SON IS IN TROUBLE, IT'S THE FATHER'S RESPONSIBILITY TO SHOW UP. AND I ASKED HIM, "WHY IS IT THAT YOU WOULD WAIT "UNTIL YOUR SON IS INTERESTED IN YOUR DAUGHTER BEFORE YOU TOLD HIM THAT HE WAS YOUR SON?" AND HIS QUESTION TO ME WAS, "WHY DIDN'T HIS MOTHER TELL HIM?" THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. AND THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA ASK HER. [ DOORBELL RINGS ] HELLO! HELLO, BELOVED. HOW ARE YOU, BELOVED? ARE YOU GOOD? I'M GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. GOOD TO SEE YOU. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME. YOU, TOO. AND YOU ARE MISS MARILYN? YES. HI, MISS MARILYN. HI. HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD. AND WHO DO I HAVE HERE? HEY. AND YOU ARE? SHARMAINE. AND YOU ARE WHO? TERRELL'S BABY SISTER. BABY SISTER? OKAY. YEAH, THE BABY. AND YOU ARE? I'M TASHA. I'M THE OLDEST SISTER. THE OLDEST SISTER. OKAY. THE BABY SISTER OR THE OLDEST SISTER. [ LAUGHS ] SO... THANK YOU FOR AGREEING TO DO THIS. YOU'RE WELCOME. I AM HERE BECAUSE... TERRELL IS IN A VERY DIFFICULT PLACE IN HIS LIFE, AND HE'S IN A LOT OF TROUBLE. MM-HMM. SO, WHEN YOU LOOK AT YOUR SON, WHAT KIND OF MAN HAVE YOU CREATED? ONE THAT'S NOT RESPONSIBLE... ...FOR ALL THE CHOICES THAT HE'S MADE. YOU'VE GOT TO OWN THAT. AND ONE THAT'S TROUBLED FROM THE HEART. SO, TERRELL GREW UP ACROSS THE STREET FROM HIS FATHER, WATCHING HIS FATHER RAISE OTHER CHILDREN AND NOT KNOWING THAT WAS HIS FATHER? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM? Iyanla: SO, WE GOT TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING. YOU NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FATHER. SO, TERRELL GREW UP ACROSS THE STREET FROM HIS FATHER, WATCHING HIS FATHER RAISE OTHER CHILDREN AND NOT KNOWING THAT WAS HIS FATHER? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM? I OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BUT I JUST THOUGHT OUT OF RESPECT FOR MAYBE HIS WIFE, YOU KNOW, THAT -- WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD UP. HE SLEEP WITH YOU WHEN HE'S MARRIED, AND YOU TRY TO RESPECT HIS WIFE? WELL, YOU KNOW, THAT WAS ME BEING YOUNG THEN. Iyanla: MARILYN WAS ONLY 16 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE GOT PREGNANT BY HER NEIGHBOR, A MARRIED FATHER OF TWO. HE WAS 14 YEARS OLDER. WE REALLY DIDN'T, LIKE, HAVE A RELATIONSHIP, YOU KNOW. UM... WHAT DID YOUR MOM SAY TO YOU ABOUT BEING PREGNANT BY THIS MARRIED MAN? IT WAS JUST A ROUGH TIME. SHE TOLD ME I WASN'T GONNA KEEP HIM. AND WHO WAS THERE FOR YOU? WHO DID YOU TALK TO? NOBODY. WOW. NOT MAMA. SHE NEVER SPOKE OF IT. IT WAS LIKE, YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T SPEAK OF IT. WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN YOUR HEART -- FEAR, SHAME, ANGER, GUILT? ALL OF THEM. AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THAT? I JUST KEPT IT INSIDE. FROM THAT DAY, THAT MOMENT, THAT TIME WHEN YOU, AT 16 YEARS OLD, REALIZED THAT YOU WERE PREGNANT FROM THIS MARRIED MAN, THAT YOUR BABY BOY MARINATED IN SHAME AND GUILT AND ANGER AND FEAR AND ALL OF THAT -- HE MARINATED IN IT. SO BY THE TIME HE GOT THERE, MISS MARILYN, IT WAS A FESTERING WOUND, AND NOW THAT WOUND IS OOZING PUS ALL OVER HIS LIFE. DO YOU GET THAT? YOU'VE GOT TO REALLY HEAR HOW YOUR CHOICES HAVE IMPACTED YOUR SON. AND HE HAS TO SAY IT, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW WE'RE GONNA BREAK THIS FAMILY PATTERN OF SILENCE. HAS TERRELL EVER SEEN YOU AND HIS FATHER IN THE SAME ROOM TOGETHER HAVING A CONVERSATION? MAYBE ONCE IN A WHILE -- JUST A, "HEY," OR, "HOW YOU DOING?" NOT JUST HAVING A "CONVERSATION" CONVERSATION. YEAH. WE HAVE TO LOOK AT THE EFFECTS OF HOW WE DID WHAT WE DID AND HOW IT'S SHOWING UP NOW. SO, I'M GONNA GO TALK TO YOUR SON. AND TOMORROW, I WANT YOU AND HIM TO HAVE A CONVERSATION -- ONE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER HAD BEFORE. Iyanla: THE SUN HAS ALREADY SET IN ALEXANDER CITY, BUT MY WORK HERE ISN'T DONE. TERRELL. HOW ARE YOU? GOOD. HOW YOU DOING? I'M ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW. I KNOW THIS IS YOUR MAMA'S HOUSE, BUT YOU AIN'T GOING IN THERE TONIGHT. YOU COMING WITH ME. YOU AIN'T READY YET. [ LAUGHS ] TERRELL'S BEEN STUCK SINCE AGE 11, AND I CANNOT SEE HOW HE CAN HEAL UNLESS HIS PARENTS CAN COME TOGETHER AND HE CAN FINALLY FACE HIS FATHER. I WANT YOU TO TAKE ME TO ONE OF YOUR END-ZONE DANCES. WHAT WAS GOING ON IN YOUR MIND WHEN YOU WERE DOING THAT? ALL EYES ON YOU AT THAT MOMENT. WOW. "ALL EYES ON ME AT THAT MOMENT." YEAH. THE WAY MAYBE YOUR DAD'S EYES WEREN'T. ON ME. THE WAY MAYBE YOUR MOM'S EYES WEREN'T. ON ME. IT WAS ME SEEKING THAT ATTENTION THAT I DIDN'T GET. THANK YOU. [ BREATHES DEEPLY ] JUST ACKNOWLEDGING THAT. 'CAUSE WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, PEOPLE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. WHAT HAPPENS AS YOU TAKE THAT IN? THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO KNOW. IT HURTS. HURTS. TELL ME -- YOU KNOW, IT'S DISAPPOINTING. WHAT'S DISAPPOINTING? THAT I DIDN'T KNOW. YOU KNOW WHY YOU DIDN'T? BECAUSE YOUR FATHER DIDN'T DEMONSTRATE IT FOR YOU. THAT'S THE IMPORTANCE OF A DADDY. SO HEAR ME VERY CLEARLY. BECAUSE MR. RUSSELL DIDN'T DEMONSTRATE IT FOR YOU, IF YOU DON'T DEMONSTRATE IT FOR YOUR SONS, I COULD BE SITTING HERE TALKING TO THEM 15 YEARS FROM NOW. THEY'VE GOT TO KNOW WHO THEY ARE, AND THEY'VE GOT LEARN THAT FROM YOU. YOUR KIDS REALLY DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE A FOOTBALL PLAYER. DO YOU KNOW THAT? THEY PROBABLY RESENT IT BECAUSE IT TAKES YOU AWAY FROM THEM. DO YOU GET THAT YOU'VE BROKEN THEIR HEARTS? GO BACK TO YOU BEING 5 AND WONDERING WHERE YOUR FATHER IS. HERE'S THE QUESTION YOU GOT TO ANSWER. HOW HAVE YOU DESTROYED YOUR GOOD NAME, AND WHAT DO YOU NEED TO DO TO REBUILD IT? UH... I WOULD LIKE FOR YOU TO HELP ME WITH IT. OKAY. You asked for help. [ LAUGHS ] GIVE ME SOME! YOU ASKED FOR HELP! LOOK AT THAT. YES. IT WOULD BE MY HONOR TO HELP YOU WITH IT. SO, I'M GONNA RELEASE THESE CAMERAS 'CAUSE WHERE I WANT TO TAKE YOU, THE ONLY PLACE IT NEEDS TO BE RECORDED IS IN YOUR HEART. ARE YOU UP FOR THAT? OKAY. SO, WE GONNA STOP RIGHT HERE -- FILMING. NO MORE EXCUSES, TERRELL. THIS AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MEDIA OR THE QUARTERBACK OR THE COACH. THAT'S ALL YOU, BOO. LET HIM KNOW HE BROKE YOUR HEART. IT'S OKAY. LET HIM KNOW. SO, I'M GONNA RELEASE THESE CAMERAS 'CAUSE WHERE I WANT TO TAKE YOU, THE ONLY PLACE IT NEEDS TO BE RECORDED IS IN YOUR HEART. ARE YOU UP FOR THAT? OKAY. SO, WE GONNA STOP RIGHT HERE -- FILMING. Iyanla: I WORKED WITH TERRELL THROUGH THE NIGHT IN ORDER TO GET TO THE CORE OF HIS BROKEN LIFE. THIS MORNING, WE ARE MEETING ON HIS TURF -- HIS HIGH-SCHOOL FOOTBALL FIELD. WELL, RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE PLAYING FIELD OF LIFE, AND RIGHT NOW THERE'S A MAN DOWN ON EVERY SINGLE FIELD IN HIS LIFE -- THE FINANCIAL FIELD, THE RELATIONSHIP FIELD, THE SPIRITUAL FIELD, THE EMOTIONAL FIELD. WE GONNA GET THAT CLEANED UP TODAY. HEY! WHERE'S MY STARTING TEAM?! THE STARTING TEAM? STARTING TEAM! I DON'T KNOW. RIGHT NOW YOU JUST GOT ONE PLAYER. WELL, HEY. THAT'S WHAT I GOT, THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA PLAY WITH. COME ON. [ LAUGHS ] GOT TO START WITH SOMEBODY. I GOT A MAN DOWN ON THE FIELD. I GOT TO DO THE BEST I CAN WITH WHAT I GOT. I DON'T LIKE THAT SAYING, "MAN DOWN ON THE FIELD." WELL, HEY. WHAT WOULD YOU CALL IT? HE'S HURT. YEAH, BUT -- I'M PLAYING INJURED. "PLAYING INJURED"? YEAH. DOES THIS FIELD HAVE A MEANING FOR YOU? DOES THIS FIELD HAVE MEANING FOR YOU? YEAH. IF YOU WANT TO SAY IT'S MY LIFE, THEN -- SO, WHEN I SAY, "MAN DOWN ON THE FIELD," I'M LOOKING AT YOU, IN YOUR LIFE, DOWN IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN, DOWN IN YOUR FINANCIAL EXPERIENCE. RIGHT. EXACTLY. OKAY? I GOT THAT. I GOT THAT. [ CHUCKLES ] WE GOT A FLAG ON THE FIELD. [ BOTH LAUGH ] WE GOT FLAGS ON THE FIELD. I GOT A LIST OF PENALTIES HERE. KNOW WHAT THAT ONE IS? PASS INTERFERENCE. NOT CONNECTING WITH YOUR CHILDREN. I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT SENDING A CHECK, TERRELL. BUT BEING A FATHER IS ABOUT YOU SHOWING UP HERE AND SHARING THIS WITH YOUR CHILDREN. HOW ABOUT THIS ONE? TERRELL'S RACKED UP A LOT OF PENALTIES IN HIS LIFE. THE DESTRUCTION OF YOUR GOOD NAME AND YOUR REPUTATION. AND IF HE WANTS TO HEAL, HE MUST UNDERSTAND THAT THEY ARE HIS DOING. MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHY YOUR LIFE LOOKS THE WAY IT LOOKS. AND THESE ARE PENALTIES. AND EACH ONE COSTS YOU WHAT? COSTS ME A LOT. COSTS YOU YARDAGE. MM-HMM. KEEPS YOU FROM SCORING. PROGRESSING. NOW WE AT THE TWO-MINUTE MARK IN THE FOURTH QUARTER OF YOUR LIFE, YOUR CAREER. WE GOT TO GET THE BALL... [CHUCKLES] MOVE IT, AND SCORE. AND LOOK AT THE PENALTIES ON THE FIELD. CAN YOU OWN THIS STUFF? ABSOLUTELY. GO PICK IT UP. YOU GOT TO CLEAN IT UP. MAKE BELIEVE WE AT THE TWO-MINUTE MARK, TERRELL. YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO LEISURELY LALLYGAG. COME ON! LET'S GO! YOU KNOW, THE GRAND COACH IS LOOKING AT YOU RIGHT NOW. THE WHO? GOD TRYING TO SEE YOUR WILLINGNESS TO CLEAN UP YOUR MESS. UH-HUH. NOW, WHAT IS ALL OF THAT, NOW? I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU REAL CLEAR. THIS IS A MESS. NO MORE EXCUSES, TERRELL. THIS AIN'T GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH THE MEDIA OR THE QUARTERBACK OR THE COACH. THAT'S ALL YOU, BOO. SO, WE GOT TO GO BACK TO THE BEGINNING TO THE PLACE YOU GOT YOUR FIRST FLAG. AND THAT WAS AT AGE 11. YOU NEED TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR FATHER. DURING THE NIGHT, MY PRODUCERS GOT WORD THAT MR. RUSSELL HAD A CHANGE OF HEART AND IS WILLING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIS SON. YOU NEED TO LET HIM KNOW THE IMPACT HE HAS AND HAS NOT HAD ON YOUR LIFE... NOT BECAUSE HE'S A BAD PERSON, TERRELL, BUT BECAUSE YOU GOT TO OPEN YOUR HEART. YOU GOT TO GET A VOICE. WITHOUT A VOICE, YOU KEEP GETTING FLAGS. SO, I'M GONNA GIVE YOU A MINUTE, AND THEN YOU HAVE TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH HIM. IF THIS THING BETWEEN TERRELL AND HIS FATHER DOESN'T GET FIXED, THERE'S NO WAY TERRELL CAN HAVE WHAT HE NEEDS TO PASS ON TO HIS CHILDREN. MR. RUSSELL. [ CHUCKLES ] HELLO. HELLO. THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU WE DIDN'T HAVE ALL OF THIS. NOW WE GOT IT. YEAH. COME ON. HAVE A SEAT. THANK YOU FOR COMING. YES. I WANT YOU AND TERRELL TO HAVE A CONVERSATION BECAUSE I THINK THAT YOU AND HIM, AS FATHER AND SON, HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO SHOW PEOPLE THAT NO MATTER HOW LONG IT'S BEEN, IT CAN BE HEALED. YEAH? ALL RIGHT. HEY, MR. TERRELL. [ CHUCKLES ] HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON? PULL UP A CHAIR. WE GONNA HAVE A CONVERSATION. CAN I PUT THESE DOWN? NO. THOSE ARE YOUR PENALTIES. YOU CARRY THEM WITH YOU. I'M SORRY. [ CHUCKLES ] WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW NOW? Iyanla: WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO KNOW NOW? I THINK EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME -- I'VE BEEN A PRODUCT OF MY ENVIRONMENT. I KNEW I WASN'T HAPPY INSIDE, BUT I ALWAYS -- I ALWAYS PLAYED IT OFF. I PUT A SMILE ON MY FACE WHEN I KNEW I WAS HURTING OR SAD INSIDE, EVEN WITH RELATIONSHIPS THAT I HAD WITH WOMEN. I REALLY DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO HAVE A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. THOSE ARE THINGS THAT I KNOW I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN TAUGHT AS A KID, AND I NEVER WAS. AND I GUESS THE QUESTION I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE ASKED MAYBE A COUPLE YEARS AGO -- WHY WASN'T I TOLD? YOU KNOW, WHY WAS IT... WHY DID IT TAKE ME TO HAVE AN INTEREST IN MY SISTER OR LIKING FOR MY SISTER FOR ME TO KNOW WHO MY DAD WAS? SOMETIMES, WAITING ON THE RIGHT TIME, IT GOES A LITTLE FURTHER THAN YOU -- YOU KNOW, WAIT ON THAT RIGHT TIME TO TELL YOU. YOU UNDERSTAND? BUT IT JUST -- THAT'S THE WAY IT CAME OUT. IT COULD HAVE BEEN SOONER. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN SOONER. WELL, YEAH, FOR ME, I MEAN, TO LIVE ACROSS THE STREET AND KNOW THAT YOU WERE MY DAD AND KNOW THAT, ON THAT SIDE OF THE STREET, YOU HAD KIDS, YOU HAD A WIFE -- TO ME, THAT WAS A FAMILY, AND I WASN'T A PART OF THAT. I DIDN'T -- REALLY COULDN'T UNDERSTAND OR WRAP MY BRAIN AROUND WHY I WAS ACROSS THE STREET, MY MOM WAS ELSEWHERE, AND I'M STAYING WITH MY GRANDMOTHER, AND I DIDN'T HAVE A DAD. AND, UH... IT'S HURT. WELL, UH... I WAS MARRIED. I COULDN'T DO WHAT I WANTED TO DO. I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE TOOK HIM FISHING, TO BALL GAMES -- AND WHY DIDN'T YOU DO THAT? I HAD TWO OUTSIDE KIDS. SO I HAD TO WORK TWO JOBS. I WORKED TWO JOBS 19 YEARS TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. SO YOU PROVIDED FINANCIAL SUPPORT FOR HIM? YES. BUT, FOR ME, WHETHER YOU ARE MARRIED, HAD FOUR JOBS [CHUCKLES] LIVED IN ANOTHER STATE... THIS WAS YOUR SON. YEAH. HE NEVER FELT YOU CLAIMED HIM AS YOUR SON. WELL... LET HIM KNOW HE BROKE YOUR HEART. IT'S OKAY. LET HIM KNOW. YOU BROKE HIS HEART. IT DIDN'T MATTER TO HIM THAT YOU WERE MARRIED. YOU BROKE HIS HEART, AND HE'S NEVER RECOVERED. I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THIS FROM THE MIND OF AN 11-YEAR-OLD, BECAUSE RIGHT NOW HE'S NOT 39. THESE ARE THE TEARS HE DIDN'T CRY WHEN YOU FOUND THE RIGHT TIME TO TELL HIM. THESE ARE THE TEARS HE DIDN'T CRY THAT DAY, DADDY. WELL, SON, I HOPE YOU CAN FIND IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE. I THOUGHT I DID -- I THOUGHT I WAS DOING AS BEST I COULD DO AT THE TIME. AND I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. I WANT TO LET YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU. MM! [ SOBBING ] I LOVE YOU. I KNOW. I FORGIVE YOU, DAD. [ GASPS ] YES. [ CHUCKLES ] [ SOBS ] HOLD ON TO YOUR SON, DADDY. HOLD ON TO YOUR SON. [ CRYING ] WE GONNA WORK ON THIS RELATIONSHIP. BUT, YOU KNOW, YOUR DAD SAID SOMETHING THAT WAS WISE EARLIER. HE SAID THE "RIGHT TIME." TERRELL, THIS IS THE RIGHT TIME... BECAUSE YOUR SON TERIQUE IS HOW OLD? 10. YEAH. MOVING FROM BOYHOOD TO MANHOOD. AND Y'ALL CAN DO IT TOGETHER. THE FACT THAT HE'S PAID CHILD SUPPORT WITHOUT A RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR CHILDREN. WELL, HERE'S THE HALLELUJAH TRUTH -- WE GONNA BREAK THAT PATTERN. I GUESS THAT I -- EVEN BEFORE THIS, I KNEW I NEEDED TO BE A PRESENCE IN MY KIDS' LIFE. BEFORE YOU CAN BE A TRUE PRESENCE OF MAN IN THEIR LIFE, YOU GOT TO GROW YOUR LITTLE BOY UP, AND I THINK THAT THAT'S WHAT'S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW. I HONOR YOUR COURAGE. I HONOR YOUR COURAGE AND YOURS, TOO, DADDY, 'CAUSE THERE ARE MANY MEN IN YOUR GENERATION WHO WOULD NEVER HAVE THIS CONVERSATION... EVER... WHO WOULD NEVER EVEN ADMIT THAT THE CONVERSATION NEEDED TO BE HAD. IT NEEDED TO BE DONE. YEAH. IT NEEDED TO BE DONE. HE'S 39 YEARS OLD. IS THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE EVER HEARD YOUR FATHER SAY, "I LOVE YOU"? PROBABLY. AND I FELT IT. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER TOGETHER, HAVING A CONVERSATION WITH YOU? HAVE YOU EVER HAD THAT EXPERIENCE? NOT THAT I CAN REMEMBER. UNTIL TODAY. WHERE'S MAMA? [ CHUCKLES ] HI, MAMA. HI. HI. COME ON AND HAVE A SEAT RIGHT HERE. [ LAUGHS ] YOUR BABY BOY... Marilyn: YEAH. ...JUST HAD A CONVERSATION WITH HIS FATHER. MM-HMM. WAS IT GOOD? WHY IS YOUR SON CRYING? HE'S MORE THAN LIKELY CRYING BECAUSE OF THE HURT AND THE PAIN THAT HE DIDN'T SHARE AS A LITTLE BOY WHEN HE WAS COMING UP WITH HIS DAD AND PROBABLY BECAUSE... I WASN'T ABLE TO TELL HIM AND TALK ABOUT IT TO HELP THE HEALING. HOW ABOUT GROWING UP, NEVER SEEING THE TWO OF YOU COME TOGETHER FOR HIS BENEFIT? HOW ABOUT THAT? [ Voice breaking ] I DIDN'T KNOW, BUT MY HEART IS BROKEN. THERE'S A LOT I MISSED OUT ON. AND IT HURT. SO, IF YOU HAD TO ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU, WHAT WOULD YOU ASK HIM TO FORGIVE YOU FOR? FORGIVE ME FOR NOT SHARING WITH YOU THE LOVE I HAD WITH HAVING YOU, AND I WOULD ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME FOR NOT TELLING YOU THE SITUATION ABOUT YOUR DAD. AND I ASK YOU TO FORGIVE ME FOR THAT. I GOT ONE MORE THING FOR YOU. DO ME A FAVOR. LOOK AT THIS WOMAN. ASK HER TO FORGIVE YOU. FORGIVE ME, MARILYN. I FORGIVE YOU. THANK YOU. SHE GAVE YOU YOUR ONLY SON. THIS COULD BE PROBABLY THE BEST TIME, THE MOST OPPORTUNE TIME FOR THIS BECAUSE OF EVERYTHING THAT HAS BEEN FESTERING INSIDE OF ME, AND NOW I CAN TAKE NECESSARY STEPS TO MOVE FORWARD, REBUILD MY CONFIDENCE. WELL, HOW COULD YOU HAVE CONFIDENCE WHEN YOUR FOUNDATION WAS DISJOINTED? YOU GUYS ARE HIS FOUNDATION. LOOK WHAT HE'S BEEN STANDING ON. NOW HE CAN STAND ON TWO SOLID BRICKS. AT 39, TO NEVER HAVE SEEN HIS PARENTS COME TOGETHER FOR HIS BEHALF. DADDY, THANK YOU FOR COMING. YOU'RE WELCOME. MOM, THANK YOU. I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO SEE THE GOOD THAT'S GONNA SHOW UP IN HIS LIFE BECAUSE OF THE COURAGE YOU TWO HAD. THANK YOU. OKAY. THANK YOU, DAD. ALL RIGHT, MAN. THANK YOU. LET ME HUG YOU, SIR. WELL, NO, HUG HIM. OH, WE DO A GROUP HUG. [ LAUGHTER ] THANK YOU. MAMA. [ CHUCKLES ] THANK YOU. HUG YOUR BABY BOY. I LOVE YOU. I LOVE YOU, TOO.
