Fast & Furious Crossroads Angry Review

so as you can see we are in the new studio now guys uh this is the first angry review in the new place uh so please forgive a little bit of sound echo and a little bit of yellow color i'm gonna switch out the lights and i'm gonna get curtains and and studio equipment i'm looking for you know the sound dampener so please forgive it for this time but uh this uh is a really really awesome review i was working on it for a while and i can't wait for you guys to watch it i do want to thank our sponsors g fuel who's giving everybody uh 30 off through the angry joe show uh with their new flavor sonic uh a sonic g field that's right peach rings it kind of tastes like pichos and you guys know my history with sonic and sonic freerider so definitely wanted to do something special pick it up now it's freaking delicious i promise you click the link down below make our sponsor happy there's gonna be an exclusive parody for the sonic uh drink at the end of the review so stay tuned all the way till the end and thank you guys so much pick up one of these uh tubs and and thank you guys for watching i hope you enjoy the review check it out [Music] hey i may be stuck down here and i finally put all my powers into a single evil entity behold i knew it's creation a blast from the past to destroy angry jail from afar your force my pretty my creation [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so which one of you sent me this game [Applause] fast and the furious crossroads is one of the most hilariously bad games i have ever played you know this area as well as i do what yeah i thought i thought i i thought so too it looks like it looks like that's the only way yeah you forgot you're playing faster than furious crossroads family cross family wait oh my god did you just fall through the world wow that's a [ __ ] [ __ ] come on give me that great we laughed so freaking hard at this game shocking display of incompetence and pure shittiness it was insane yeah i see it can't be in the wrong orientation here i'm in follow instructions no i'm in it joe really see joe when i see an arrow like that i think it's like okay i just gotta go further up see if you were driving the guns further up what's it gonna do is he gonna do it [Laughter] you couldn't get out from the backside that's [ __ ] dumb [ __ ] your game [ __ ] you who wants to park perfectly the game will literally shoot you dead if you park your car in the wrong direction you look forward to look back son of a [ __ ] the wrong direction you make deliveries of course you would do that joe what happened the wrong way [Laughter] [Music] you partner [Laughter] wrong oh god that's how you make deliveries we literally could not stop laughing at how [ __ ] stupid and serious they were taking this whole thing what is what is this preparing if you try to take it seriously you're gonna have a bad time see you try to use that as a ram too that's not a nuke is it not a nuke but it sure as hell shouldn't be in the hands of these guys [Music] yeah that is until you realize the game is 90 dollars what the [ __ ] what the [ __ ] are you [ __ ] kidding me a [ __ ] season pass are you [ __ ] you have got to be [ __ ] [ __ ] me 30 dollars for three [ __ ] cars are you are you out of your mind the game is only four hours four hours four hours long it's got a season pass who the [ __ ] would make a season pass for this garbage i cannot believe bandai namco has the [ __ ] goal to charge even 60 for the regular version let alone 90. the game isn't even worth 20. it's not even worth 10 in fact they need to pay us to play with this [ __ ] trash trash with three r's forever stop looking for rams in the middle god [ __ ] board i don't know what's happening that we're is near we're not getting any closer the draw distance is two to two feet in front of you the driving controls are absolute [ __ ] it's like you're driving a stiff shopping cart with three bad wheels ah thank you my love those must be those famous driving skills you told me about eh man you gotta have to do this over again if i ever need a getaway driver i do it's best it goes up i'm stuck behind these trash cans physics i don't even think this game bothered with physics [Laughter] i got it i got it oh [ __ ] come on hey watch out missions consist of census lee and frustratingly driving to a point and then watching a cutscene and then driving in a straight line and watching a bad cut scene and then driving to the left and watching a bad cut scene and driving to the ride and watching a bad cut scene it's just drive here drive here drive here drive here another terrible cut scene drive here terrible cutscene drive here terrible cutscene and the driving is terrible this might as well just be a goddamn movie or a tv series there's no [ __ ] reason it should be a game what the [ __ ] 90 are you are you out of your mind what the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] are you serious this is like a blast from the past who [ __ ] made this who [ __ ] made this yes you'll fall where is the action it constantly takes control away from you forcing you to go two miles an hour or walls you off where you can't go anywhere can't have any fun or do anything oh no you failed what they knew you were going to try to do it they said [ __ ] you man don't kill people 0 out of 10. this game won't even let you make your own fun invisible walls what is this what is this what is this what is this the 1992 what is this it's ps whoa where except when the game bugs out oh [ __ ] oh man this car has four slap chops he overshots [ __ ] game are you [ __ ] kidding me it won't do [ __ ] unless you do the thing exactly how it tells you to exactly do it there is no creativity with the cars like in the films unless you count sticking on [ __ ] mini games onto the cars like hacking or missile locks hey where'd you get that okay i just need to lock onto its signal almost there okay no manifest but it's not a satellite navigation system maybe i can find out where it's not that easy to hack right let's see where these guys have been yeah on occasion they give you the ability to slam cars with your car which basically has your car fly off to the right or fly off to the left and explode [Laughter] that is not how bands work van [Laughter] actually no i take that bat it it doesn't explode because this game couldn't even afford too many explosions i'm so sorry i don't want to see that you know that's pretty crazy but cam is right this could solve my problem halfway almost two more hits all right big one mission fail you can't afford explosions you can't afford an explosion come on i don't think any of us expected that this game is never ending surprising no roadblocks seriously oh no mission failed oh man i was going live there's no way [ __ ] explosion see that background explosion yes i seriously don't know what the [ __ ] blew up but something blew up in there you'll get annoying fail states all the time i think you might have hit him out of the level oh no a roadblock we'll never get past that and the mission mission failed oh no joe is gonna die oh my god vienna no oh my god no you got blaze again oh my god and worse even if you're trying to do exactly what you're told to do you have no [ __ ] idea what is destructible and what's not so you'll constantly slam into things full stop and you have no earthly idea of where the [ __ ] track is supposed to be half the time except i don't have any faith in roman reigns no comments [ __ ] done how are we supposed to get through these docks without being spotted where are we supposed to go i can't see [ __ ] joey about the only good thing in this game is the [ __ ] music i'll give it that at least some tracks made me want to like dance well done the best part of this game is the [ __ ] music you know inspired by its location in spain [Music] fast family album oh you had one job fast for fears i was about to like your music change it up on me so it's up to the story right oh my god oh my god the stories this [ __ ] story famously this game was introduced at the game awards right i'm excited for that one the video game is pretty cool michelle we are in our crowd we have been gamers we have been gamers forever and we are at an award show of our people um i love all of you by the actors of the upcoming fast and furious nine film michelle rodriguez and the man the legend himself vin diesel who actually voiced their characters in the game except that michelle looks like she was in some kind of horrible accident i was in the neighborhood and vin diesel looks like a muscle balloon that is about to [ __ ] pop this guy was headed for barcelona let me know what you find when you get there when will you be looking at muscles i need to go check on 16 times the muscles that's where all the budget in this game went into his [ __ ] muscles it's like it's like when the developers were modeling his character at the computer vin diesel's like hovering and staring over their shoulder asking to be made bigger oh hello mr diesel um i got your notes um this is your character model as you can see you're taller than everybody else and you're quite muscular that's supposed to be me make it bigger bigger [Music] bigger [Music] oh my god what have i done now we're family oh but don't let that fool you into thinking you're gonna be you know watching them the majority of the time right wrong no instead the game forces in front of you two brand new characters that nobody wanted and nobody asked for annoying hacker lady and michael burnham from star trek discovery what i am never forgiving you for this you don't even know each other shut the [ __ ] up are you done who quickly becomes a one-note character who is selfish annoying obnoxious definitely not fast and the furious material not family there is so much dumb stupid cringy small talk between these two new characters i'm starving at home you can't keep going to restaurants why come on money's tight you know that oh i thought because of the virus and we're on our way to a job right now so maybe we could go to that dim sum place i know you like no one cares nobody cares we came for the family you know the thing vin diesel keeps railing on about over and over alex it was awful like the controls are [ __ ] like i was flying off to them all right you play my game joe you having a great time it's family time family dinner family portions family food come on joke we're family what the [ __ ] is wrong with this guy a couple years ago he had to slip and fall in an olive garden and all he can remember is when you're here your family oh that's terrible [Music] hey joe i can see you there hey when you're here you're family rustic don't worry it's unlimited just for families no instead we get to hang out with the stepchildren of the family i don't know who thought it was a good idea to focus on these two and their consistent banter bicker and small talk back and forth in these long driving sections in between the stupider cut scenes where they take center stage it's like who wants us to hijack one of their trucks no way v listen let me lay it out for you one we're not criminals two you're talking about stealing from a well-funded highly organized criminal organization that's been doing this for like a billion years three if we fail they most certainly will kill us can i lay it back out for you one they're not going to kill us because two we aren't professionals and for that reason three they'll never see us coming it's crazy enough to work i actually followed that what they're right the tadacool is prepared to defend itself against tough rival gangs not three amateurs that is the terrible logic they're willing to prepare to hang handle highly trained professionals but they're [Laughter] that we do not see them in an upcoming movie please no i hope they are forever relegated to the visual diarrhea where they belong in this game basically you're out for revenge from michael burnham and you happen to be friends with the family because you're dangerous you're a dangerous mysterious street racer yeah sure this is another guest your boyfriend isn't up to your same high standard he's still better than you mauricio i said i'd never do this again here we go just clip the apex on the right hand side after the turn and we've got this and through all this you run into the gang titikaka or tada kulo have you ever heard of the tadakul should i have have you ever heard of the [Music] who are the bad guys trying to do something bad with a rocket please tell me you have some techno wizard stuff in your back pocket i never claimed to be a rocket scientist [Music] pam here he comes here it is at one point i was like now we're [ __ ] talking [ __ ] yeah we're going to space that would have been amazing but no it's [ __ ] except for the end all right where they the sequence is so bad [ __ ] crazy you're chasing down a speeding [ __ ] rocket that can break the earth's atmosphere with your shitty car you have a problem we killed everybody in the world how are you catching up with this it's not like it's a rocket i'm a car it looks really fast and even at one point you cross the stream pass through the exhaust flame this is gonna be something whoa stop where are you going what is he doing he's crazy thousand degrees fahrenheit five thousand it's that kind of over-the-top stupid idea that makes fast and the furious fun it's just too bad it's only for a few minutes at the at the end the game just screams [ __ ] it and they go full on ham oh use the emp which one that was not the mp that was the rockets launcher oh get the [ __ ] out of here jumping on the rocket where'd he go [Music] did he just jump faster but believe it or not and and that's it but that's the only time it's good like for a few minutes and believe it or not this game actually has multiplayer though it's not like you can actually play it at least on pc with player counts so [ __ ] low it makes law breakers look like the most popular game of the year yeah it was 100 percent dead dead on arrival death before the developers even finished developing the [ __ ] mode that's how dead it was oh but then there's another so holy [ __ ] there's three teams i didn't realize so there's three there's so we so we would actually need one nine people so i would need eight other people and if i can get one person six other people that's everyone playing right now eight eight people are playing they can't even fill a lobby with how many people are playing the [ __ ] game right now we had to basically watch somebody else play and quickly realized it's broke unbalanced a mess of a mode that i wouldn't even touch with a 10-foot pole no one team makes the bus reach the end get away the other team destroys the target and the police are supposed to arrest everybody but i don't understand how the police can possibly win because in the game the police have to be like eight seconds i want to say somebody staying next to you next oh so they just ram you over and over and over until your health goes down it's like this has been not balanced at all villains should have done long last time everybody gets faked out by that come on [ __ ] this game the fast and furious crossroads sucks it is easily one of the worst games of the year and straight criminal to charge sixty dollars or the unforgivable ninety dollars that is a corporate cash in where the stars are embarrassingly participating in an incompetently programmed game that looks like [ __ ] plays like [ __ ] it's boring it's [ __ ] repetitive and it ends with one cool mission only because it was so [ __ ] stupid oh you did it you did it oh [ __ ] you took it away there's too many [ __ ] physics and [ __ ] crashes for this game to [ __ ] handle i can't do it no more it's too much [ __ ] [ __ ] the same [ __ ] over here the same [ __ ] [ __ ] over and over rammed for your computer best furious crusher the final verdict for this abomination is a two a two out of ten it's not worth it even when it goes into bargain bin for top five dollars just forget it you can you just re-watch this video okay it's a relic of an unwanted past where low effort movie licensed games were still a thing it's freaking comical it's embarrassing but most of all it's [Music] insulting [Music] no no no no no no damn like a girl i thought you destroyed my latest creation i'm tired of this i gotta get out of here i finally had enough i'll give you something you really can't handle joe [Music] what the [ __ ] is this [ __ ] there's only one person that i know insidious and and greedy and stupid enough to make this [ __ ] but i sent him to hell oh my god guys i've got work to do until then i'll see you on the next angry joe show i need to check something [ __ ] dinosaur what the [ __ ] is wrong with this guy he had a slip and fall in that home garden a couple of years ago and all i can remember is when you hear your family [Music] joe never forget when you hit your family breadstick [Music] some [ __ ] dinosaur oh [ __ ] [Music] he's not there he's back sonic freeriders flavor g feel how could you please god take it away [Music] [Music] sonic free riders [Music] you

Channel: AngryJoeShow

Views: 1,520,349

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Id: ScvcBZKAqIw

Length: 34min 46sec (2086 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 22 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/SeverelyAshamed]

What is going on with the green screen in this?