Everything Wrong With Transformers: Rise of the Beasts in 21 Minutes or Less

[Music] 49 seconds of six logos a vile God so large and so powerful that it consumed entire planets as fuel so galatis then he wanted our greatest technology the transwarp key you know in an alternate universe I decid to make this movie's entire sins video just different line readings of me saying I don't give a it Trends on YouTube until the soccer moms for harmony have it taken down using YouTube's new decency claim process and he sent his most powerful henchmen to collect it is it a problem that I'm already kind of so these machines are modeled after animals instead of vehicles like in our world but they still had to take their appearance from already existing animals right so are we just establishing that this random Planet also has gorillas and scorpions kind of seems like this alien world would have different life forms for the Beast Machines to mimic it is now your time to lead the maximal okay but that orange thing between your fingers still looks like a Lego piece Optimus [Music] primal wait was that not intended to be hilarious so you're this planet's great warrior Ultron my master grows hungry if you have a master then I'm instantly less scared of you because it means you're not the big bat benefits of serving the almighty Unicron sure the arm Cannon you stole from Pacific Rim sounds neat but now I'm just wondering what other benefits Unicron offers 401K etto sick leave Flex about spending account I can't get past Bowser not being able to get past Bowser it's 1994 kit get out there and find the answers on how to beat Bowser there's even this thing called the internet you could use but I bet the answer isn't an issue of Nintendo Power with that lady that administrator is there and she mentions a bill just tell her we're handling it right because Hospital administrators inquiring about payment are easily swayed by relax we got this type arguments Sickle cells must be blocking the bluff L really didn't trust your audience to use context clues to figure out Chris was sick just had to beat us over the head with it and name the disease so we'd know I'm not even sure that's a sentence a normal human outside a poorly written script would say I choose not to purchase cable it's my own personal way to protest a vampiric nature of modern day capitalism I appreciate people protesting the vampiric nature of modern day capitalism but dude you just participated in capitalism by trading money for your repaired radio intern intern calling your intern intern the police are here they busted an art auction the owner claims that everything is authentic but they want a second opinion the police want a second opinion on the authenticity of art cuz that sounds more like something Insurance investigators would be doing not police they they had enough proof that the auction was fake thus securing a warrant to bust it or they need the expert opinion to get the warrant ahead of time in which case the bust hasn't occurred yet which is it here is a scene where we learn the intern knows a ton about ancient artifacts to the point that her boss needs the intern's help to appraise some and we are following the Transformers movie Playbook to a te here she's wit Wiki combined with Anthony Anderson from the first movie until your account is current you can't bring your brother here the system will always choose money over empathy you can always take him to the ER well they won't see him in the ER unless he's critical the system will always choose money over empathy he's 11 he's 11 years old the Transformers movies waited until the seventh movie to embrace political issues that most Americans can empathize with and while I'm glad this movie is taking time to call out the healthcare system in America you had six previous movies that all made more money where you could have done this so forgive me if I'm skeptical of the root motivation don't move holy sh you just went off about how this kid is 11 and now you're going to leave him alone out here why do you take the time to film this kind of gorgeous overhead footage of New York City only to use 1.7 seconds of it before cutting away the rich cats in there they give a ton of paper to Charities every year to make themselves feel better I'm pretty sure they do it so they can get a tax right off no wealthy people give to charity because it feels good it's not some Egyptian god it's something else that is word for word what my first high school girlfriend said when she broke up with me you got a robbing mixtape uh no I got a liberating mixtape again theft doesn't need moral cover if you're going to steal just steal it can be a robbery mixtape none of us are judging you what I am judging is that the movie believed for even a second we'd Buy Noah being able to hear music over that cheap ass radio connection she snuck in here with a stolen passcard but this place seems important enough there should be surveillance and probably even security guards and especially since she has turned on and is using local lab equipment I'm going to lose my job I know this probably isn't the time but I believe what you have is an internship not a job and sure that's pretty pedantic but that's kind of our thing here at Cinema Sins if you're new welcome stick around we do new yoga every other Tuesday this cannot be and yet it be what am I looking at Away Home don't you return home in one of the other movies without the aid of this McGuffin I don't know I think after the fourth movie I bash my head into the concrete so hard in an attempt to forget this series that the others started to run together was Marlin in one of them my head hurts yeah the car what you may be caught a car thief and your first instinct is to pull your gun out is this set in Brooklyn or Vice City or modern day America it's not me it's the car's possess why would you say this instead of this goddamn car is driving itself without my input I'm literally doing nothing and it's still driving around holy [ __ ] does the NYPD Ram cars that are on a bridge because I don't think that's policy even though he's going to do it again in a [Music] second he's probably dead now though Mirage big is just a movie you'll never be a real boy Mirage is mocking Optimus Prime as if the leader of the Autobots chose that Tom Hanks movie to watch GT the little ugly guy in the basket Transformers thinks that by naming better movies I'll take sins off but that didn't work for the previous six entries and it won't work here man y'all really couldn't have given us another bumblebee movie Mirage what have you done let's put a pin in what Mirage has done and instead discuss what this movie has done and what this movie has done is give me the most confusing feelings for a motorcycle robot the energy surge we felt was in the 4,000 y Herz range which is undetectable to humans I'm sorry only Doc Brown is allowed to make up words that end in hurts it's blatant copyright infringement otherwise and that earns you 5 cents which is equivalent to 1.9 Cent Herz I'm not breaking in the museum for some space robots that is not my ringtone but still yeah dude you are what H there an old cave drawing of a giant ape that must mean giant alien shape-shifting robots came to Earth centuries ago you know what's weird Marky Mark is leaving the Funky Bunch I heard he's just going to pursue acting now that's crazy totally what's even Wilder is that no one wants to talk about how he blinded that one guy and Chase down those kids both times based on race he's just not famous enough yet and by the time he gets famous enough the news will be buried and considered old of it they are my friends I know one was good to you be glossing over the best Transformers movie to date with this kind of of unreferenced we can only trust our own kind knowing Humanity as I do you're probably making the right choice but it's still speciesist no one who watches the skies for a living in 1994 saw this doesn't appear any residents of New York City saw this night bird search the island night bird singing in the dead of black wait finally the hunt draws to a close um hey wow so the transition from the glowing deceptic 's chest to this lamp is one of the lousiest most forc transitions I've ever seen oh no you can't science without electricity directly touching the orange glowy thing you revealed when you were illegally broken and scanned a raptor sculpture do you science or do you not science it looks like you're trying to steal Museum property consider this most of the things in museums are actually stolen goods from other peoples and cultures so you know everyone important survives this with alarmingly few injuries rip the flesh from their bones and bring me the key okay so you are assuming they know where the key is and they don't you're also suggesting that ripping the flesh from their bones is a good interrogation technique when it will probably cause any average human to go into a coma but most importantly the key should be the key it should be evident these humans haven't found a way to disguise the key in fact one of them did the exact opposite in exposing the key from its disguise the point is that The Ripping of human flesh from Bones seems Superfluous here A bunch of stuff happens rapidly and I have lost my ability to tell the good Bots from the bad bot and you would think that would be a big deal but the movie just keeps on expecting me to keep up oh they're flying now who the hell are these guys you know you up when you're stealing from the rise of Skywalker I'm not following you I'm just escaping in the same direction semantics here we see a human repeatedly outrun an alien robot and it seems stupid Prime I don't think we can hold these guys oh no holy [ __ ] that last moment is so good it belongs in a better movie Noah get out of here go get out of here here I think maybe they should get out of here wait so inside they couldn't break through doors but outside they can I'm tired of little things getting in my way me too bro all they do is bloat the runtime oh no I'm so crushed by this awful thing that will never be undone or at least I would be if we didn't already know bumblebee comes back to life so he can die in a future movie only to come back to life again this cannot be man Optimus I think it's a little early for puns I am a maximal a Warrior from both your part past and future then what the f are you doing in our present we broke the key into two pieces for safekeeping if you were so worried someone would get the damn thing and you were content to stay on Earth why did you not just toss the key into the sun why not destroy it if this is the only thing stopping Unicron what purpose does it serve the trans warp key is our only way home are you trying to get home or stop Unicron from eating the universe priorities people chance to stop the end of the world actually you'll be saving Two Worlds actually you'll be saving all the worlds because unicor intends to ingest them all if you don't stop it this dialogue is stupid nobody in Brooklyn sees a giant robot peeping into the window of an apartment this alley is more deserted than the one where Bruce Wayne's parents were killed yo you scratched my paint that just raises bigger questions when Autobots copy a vehicle and change into it do they control the paint job if so could you not just instantly repair the paint yourself way to be Incognito you're standing transformed out in the open how was that Incognito Optimus my LS I am Stratosphere lord of the Skies one of the oldest cliches in the book is the dodgy airplane pilot who was also dodgy or strange or maybe even drunk probably remember most from Ben Stiller's The Secret Life of Walter midy no wait no one saw that and those who did didn't appreciate it enough at the time I must be thinking of the wacky puke story helicopter pilot from The Hunt for Red October who looks back at Alec Baldwin more than he looks out the windshield or maybe Flight with Denzel or vacation from 2015 where Ed Helms plays a pilot that accidentally grabs boobs multiple times and leaves a scol copilot in charge during turbulence or maybe even Star Wars with Han Solo being a lose Cannon I could keep going but the sin is ultimately going to be for those of you who haven't seen or have seen But underappreciated Ben Stillers The Secret Life Of Walder midi uh tell me about your pops what was he like skip we get our hands on it and we got to destroy it he is 100% right and even Optimus Prime should agree with him instead of wanting to use it to go home a little racist her Manu ah yes it wouldn't be Transformers without at least a little racism it's on the Michael Bay bingo card and everything yo Noah think fast what the is this awesomeness and why didn't Haley Steinfeld or Sam with Wiki get this go- go gadget power glove and if you need help just holler you weren't really much help in the museum fight dude you hit nothing got picked up and dropped and then got scared by robot spiders maybe let someone else help Noah I am in position no one will ever suspect a huge American semi cab half a block from this Peruvian parade no one will ever suspect two people joining the parade from the audience one with a robot hand they spend all of two minutes in this large ancient area and find the important sh almost immediately nobody in all of Peru sees hears or reacts to a robot dashing across their rooftops in broad daylight grave robbing with good intentions you had a gun this whole time and strangely enough that little gun has killed more bad guys in this movie than Mirage has so far this is the luckiest [ __ ] I've seen since the whole of the movie Top Gun Maverick I love your fire Prime but you're going to die on this Speck of dust I can think of no better place to bury you oh oh my okay raise your hand if you realize they were this fing far apart during that conversation also imagine trying to farm at a 60° angle scared please I'm not scared that's just engine oil named after you the legendary Warrior of cyberon so the maximals are a plan of animal robot hybrids that are separate from the Autobots and Decepticons but they also follow the history of Cybertron to inform their own just what the f is up with this sh that doesn't look so good when scour touches you he leaves a mark but he touched the [ __ ] out of Optimus Prime during their fight back in America and Prime didn't slowly get turned colors and mind controllable just don't ask what part of my body it came from Pete Davidson is bringing this movie really close to unlimited Center status looks like the Autobots are about to learn a harsh lesson regarding ticks or at least the two humans traveling with them are I'm sorry but in this state it is inert it will take a great power to ignite it I'm guessing that great power will probably ignite it in about say 30 minutes you're just like him who Optimus I'm serious he feels it too feels what like a beast of burden trying to carry the Way of the World on his shoulders what are you talking about a beast of burden is a farm animal used for tasks like plowing carrying goods pulling wagons Etc I do get what you mean about both this guy and Optimus feeling a huge weight right now and feeling like they alone can save the day but I think you only use the phrase Beast of Burden because the movie has the word beasts in the title because I don't think Optimus Prime currently feels like a yolked ox out tilling the fields I guess I'd rather have this giant mcgruber wig thing than no shelter at all but these shelters still look wanting and I don't think I'd feel particularly safe or shelter didn't one Noah guard the key I just want to be clear on your strategy you're giving the key to the one person who is the easiest to kill outside of Mirage that's your plan wait wait didn't I kill you already that's maximalist kill them what you could kill this dude right now on your own but you leave it to his fellow maximal is this an episode of the 60s Batman show just kill him two maximals tumble down the old monument and the human girl on her tiny human legs will somehow keep Pace with them and shows up seconds after they stop falling this movie is the alien robot version of Indiana Jones and the dial of Destiny both films open on a flashback to events we never heard of before there are two halves of an important artifact that opens a dimension hopping portal one of which is found in an ancient cave of ruins that has an ancient grave inside the bad guy lets the good guys find one of the pieces form and the bad guy keeps the good guys alive unnecessarily after succeeding change my mind you can use this transwarp key to go from world to world but here after using it a great amount of metal and structure Rises out of the ground on Earth so was that already there and therefore on every planet or does using the key create the metal that then comes out of the ground well I ain't done fighting yet he says before storming off the green screen stage the only way to stop this process is an access code installed long ago as a safeguard you have to be mothering kidding me this thing has a kill switch code all this [ __ ] drama Eagle lady fuing died y'all and this thing has a kill switch the code was split along with a key godamn it guffins the bridge is guarded by a series of tunnels the bridge to another world that is created by using the key is skirted by a series of tunnel what are you even talking about it sounds like we are going to die well the great thing about setting a movie in the past is that we already know some characters that have appeared in the present day can't die so you know Optimus and Bumblebee will survive at least oh boy a disposable faceless CGI Army that our heroes could kill lots of to feel accomplished my favorite maximal bot roll out why would the maximals use a roll out command when they are animals and not automobiles is meant to inspire chills as the two Optimus say the same command but I'm still seeing a gorilla tell a rhino and a cheetah to roll out and it's weird 1 2 3 kind of seems like an ability that should have been used more prior to this moment can you imagine if marage had made illusions of the key pieces so the terraa never figured out which one was real he might have actually been a useful character Noah can't any key and now we're going to play a game called scenes from a hat the first category is things you shouldn't say in front of the enemy you're supposed to be distracting Mirage go also it's utterly insane to me that the transwarp key creates this massive structure that has weakness tunnels only big enough for humans and Tiny robots to fit in absolutely stupid no one will remember this pathetic Planet no Scourge it's this movie that people won't remember I'm not going to win this one well you don't lose right I wish that were true but I can't man I don't want to be a grammar [ __ ] but something here is not agreeing subject verb negative positive wise you don't lose right I wish but I can't the as his sick brother pep talks him into continuing on even though things are dire and the sick brother is so far away the walkie talkies shouldn't work anymore I yeah I'm still not remotely emotionally invested here whatsoever also this walkie talkie is reaching from New York City to Brazil I've never bought her owned a walkie-talkie that reached Beyond 30 ft massively damaged Mirage will now form his robot body around human Noah and again why didn't Sam with Wiki or whatever Haley steinfeld's character was called get to do cool [ __ ] like this yo Scourge me sideways upside down this human and Transformer skin is immediately challenging the big bad God damn those things are useless you might as well be competing with Mirage for the title of most useless thing in this movie letting your Hench people beat up on your opponent on your behalf because you are a [ __ ] oh wow he's alive again I'm just so very surprised I really thought he was a goner I love how Bumblebee's return is seen as a game changer when back when he was fighting with Prime and Mirage and the rest of them back when he died di he just died but now he's going to somehow turn the tide I have come here to kick ass I would give back every sin right now if this movie suddenly transformed into they live still can't believe this movie's climax came down to the main human wearing some discount ant Iron Man gear and riding into battle on a dune buggy version of Bumblebee die you ugly [ __ ] censoring your goddamn [ __ ] ass riding [ __ ] brain curse words time to show you the real power of the Prime waiting until the final battle to show the real power of the Prime Prime couldn't you have shown him back at the Museum would have saved me about 90 minutes Retreat to safety I will destroy the key myself well dramatic as it seems we know this does your sacrifice becomes our oath except later we will never see your ass in any present day Transformers movie so your oath seems kind of flimsy Noah I got [Laughter] you quite literally where the F did this guy come from out of the blue like this as they run away from the from the cares evil can never be vanquished completely Optimus primal is right if evil could be vanquished completely this franchise would have stopped a long time ago but I guess there's only so much you can do to keep evil at B but we have gained an ally in our battle against the forces of evil an ally so huge and important he doesn't appear in any of the present day films he's here for aob job interview and he reaches inside the window to turn up the volume because the story is about him and I would not hire this guy we are a secret government organization strictly off the books Noah run GI Joe oh well I'm sure that Cinematic Universe is a slam dunk remind me how did the Snake Eyes origin do again yeah your boy is back Mother Does anyone in this movie know how to stay dead I'd be willing to bet Scourge is still alive down there in the jungle he is isn't he get in my belly protecting our transwarp key is Apes together St your politics bore me your demeanor is that of a pouty child it's my own personal way to protest the vampiric nature of modern day capitalism man these anti-piracy eyes are getting really mean European male 50s about 6' 180 lb blue eyes not on it three he's flying on rooftops I'm not following you I'm just escaping in the same direction that wasn't flying that was falling with style rhinox cheetor assemble there a total poser as you wish

Channel: CinemaSins

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Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, transformers, rise of the beasts, transformers movies, transformers: rise of the beasts, transformers: rise of the beasts review, transformers: rise of the beasts reaction, first time watching, transformer, transformers franchise, transformers cinema sins, threezero siege megatron, dlx megatron, threezero transformers, threezero megatron, transformers rise of the beasts trailer

Id: L3lAW0Ez1QQ

Length: 21min 19sec (1279 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 14 2023