Everything Wrong With Barbie in 23 Minutes or Less

[Music] since the first little girl ever existed there have been dolls citation dated who left all these kids alone in the desert were they abandoned are their parents watching off screen is this a tattooe daycare I need answers setting te for four when there are five of you present monster and this has been reflected back on to the little girls of today in the real world thinking that Los Angeles is representative of the real world is like thinking sheep secretions are representative of chewing gum sure technically it's in there but it's not the part most of us usually choose to focus on who is in this pink plane and where is it coming from and going to this better be covered in the enchantable movie assing The Modern Miracle of privacy that is walls I mean Barbie is great and everything but saying she can walk on water is going to end up getting your movie boycotted in about 35 States or so so well let's not show MIT actually she was discontinued by Mattel because a pregnant doll is just too weird what weird about being pregnant this isn't the' 60s in the Bible Belt when a woman showing during pregnancy was uncomfortable for the masses and you were encouraged to stay home this 2023 and she should be publicly breastfeeding while giving a TED Talk Barbie has another big day ahead of her this roundabout has no stop or yield signs I know the cars are driving at a slow pace but Barbie land is still modeled after some version of America so you should assume the drivers don't know how to use roundabouts and will crash their cars into a fiery death Heap anytime they have to figure out how to drive in a circle how come you're so amazing no com so was seriously no comment making two comments about how you were making no comments hi Barbie hi Barbie hi Barbies not bothering to put down your Barbie weekly during the daily High Barbie Aon there are no multiples of Alan he's just Alan well that's a lie in an hour you're going to tell us the other Allens escaped into our world and became in sync so there are multiples of Allen they just aren't in Barbie land I love you Helen mirin and you're perfect in this role but lying is still a s no if I wasn't severely injured I would beat you off right now Ken I'll beat you off with you any day K this beach is off for all the some beach okay look I can't play the music but the next 2 and a half minutes are an explosion of tight choreography amazing set design beautiful costumes body positivity and generally everything that makes this movie The resounding success it is so just take can sit off because even my Stone Heart can bleach this is the movie's second shot at mij and can we just stop for a second and Ponder the horror of a life that this woman leads she's eternally pregnant turally bloated interally heartburn eternally incontinent that's just the normal stuff the only good thing is that she never has to actually push the volleyball through the garden hose but still you can't do a flip like that Ken the movie will eventually want us to believe that the toxic Mass Ken linity that invades Barbie land is a result of Ken's visit to the real world it's clearly here in full force right from the start of the movie at the very least this perfect world should have already been alert to the concept of an even if their bodies didn't have one marar Robie is killing it with this trying to keep a smile while pondering death dance it's actually very similar to her amazing transformation through Babylon and now I'm just mad that more people didn't see Babylon because barbalon is a much better movie portmanto than barbon Heimer hitch isn't present to scold Ken over the 9010 rule in this scene every night he gr SM mhm every night forever then at some point shouldn't it cease to be girls night and just become night if all you've ever known is the girls hanging out every night forever why would you even need a name for it calling it girls night would be redundant good night Barbies I'm definitely not thinking about death anymore thing I tell myself every night as my head hits the pillow and the lights go out somehow makes it into the script as Barbie reading my thoughts is that something they can do is there like a Scarlet Witch Barbie I mean printing expired right on the box seems like you're just planning to fail oh oh girl you okay all this time the person singing has been aware of what has happening in Barbie land as it happens in Barbie land who is the singer is she in the real world is she in Barbie land in some Tower watching all things transpire and singing what is seen I've been wondering who this character is since the first song and it's about damn time I got an answer Kenton Tarantino I know I'm stereotypical Barbie and therefore don't form conjectures concerning the causality of adjacent unfolding events but some things have been happening that might be related having stereotypical Barbie form a conjecture concerning the causality of adjacent unfolding events huh didn't realize that was something stereotypical Barbie couldn't do thanks for the assist movie giving your child too much artistic Freedom what if I want to actually play Scrabble Gloria what then creating a gate you could just walk around Mark sorry about the dog crap why would you be sorry about the dog crap when you must be the one putting the dog crap in the dog's mouth so it can poop it out if you're sorry for it stop feeding your pets wait I'd like to see what kind of nude blob he's packing under those jeans I am becoming more and more confused by what these Barbies do and don't understand about sexuality at the very least little glorious parents should should probably check in with her soon what do I have to do you have to go to the real world and you have to find the girl who's playing with you or boy it could be a boy playing with her this must be why this movie is derided so much for not being woken enough also for the amount of information that she just happens to have at her disposal are we sure this Barbie isn't sold as expositional Barbie how how did the burkenstock win the title of most opposite of high heel shoe battle over the doc Martins or the converse how like put them in the ring and the cork shoe wins the shoe that absorbs foot sweat and becomes a biome of foot Funk how did this happen don't tell me the hippie population had enough money in advertising dollars to tip the scales it's actually a sports car to a speedboat to a rocket ship to a tandem bike to a camper van fun to a snowmobile that's just ridiculous no one thinks Camper vans are fun like I should move forward but do the order backward or don't think it oh okay that's a legitimate question and you're just going to pull a tenant by claiming it works best if you don't think about it I blame Malcolm Gladwell for all this bye Barbie trapping a mermaid in your swimming pool AKA Lady in the Water but how did Ken sneak into that back seat there were people all around the car when it left and off with your Barbie land logic no one ever said anything about invisibility did you bring your roller blades I literally go nowhere without them liar or are the roller blades invisible too smiling during the process of active Suffocation I feel what can only be described as admired but not Aug you're and there's no undertone of violence mine very much has an undertone of violence I'm not sure how you pull off including this level of biting social commentary at the same time as delivering drop dead laugh moments but I'm sure this movie deserves a s off for figuring out the exact recipe hey man you guys got to pay for that stuff stereotypical Barbie is totally fine with stealing clothes and knows how to throw punch is that actually right you know what keep them somehow the police get to decide that Ken and Barbie can keep stolen merchand ice also why are they being printed again not like their prints would have changed from earlier in the day when they were arrested for punching someone also also there is no way these two would be doing synchronized finger inking with this many cops curiously overseeing this is Venice Beach believe me they've seen stranger also my job is also canon Barbie wouldn't have Prince or body cavity to search on being captured these two would be passed on to the evil scientist people for autopsy and Analysis can I go that way yes okay don't go far okay and then K Walks from the police station that is actually Santa Monica City Hall all the way to Century City in cowboy boots should take him approximately 2 and 1/2 hours great workout man you're the man no you're the man men sharing a carton of ice cream that you are both eating directly out of your mother daughter sentimentality is no match for my germaphobia movie trying to pull a full Toy Story 3 within 30 minutes of starting your movie ay good a strange way to describe the absolute pain that must be surging through her face as she instantaneously develops the right biological components to produce tears you're so beautiful I know it hey remember how the reality of our world gave so much poignance because of its relation to the plastic of Barbie land yeah the movie is now going to make the Mattel Corporation feel even Faker than Barbie land in an attempt to ruin it all skyscraper elevators that are already at your floor the instant you push the button do not exist I said they don't exist the Matel headquarters is located nowhere near the Warner discovery headquarters this building is a corporate lie forged from the depths of commercialism by hellfires of synergistic greed Aaron Whispers to one executive yet both begin to whisper toward CEO this is the perfect opportunity for the CEO to get some kind of wonky message at the end but instead he becomes the first person in history to get the whisper game correct simultaneous in both ears and that is just insane Barbie in the real world that's impossible I know right no one rests until this doll is back in a box and now we're just doing the plot of Toy Story 2 it's almost like we've already covered most of the toys in the real world possibilities before speaking of which isn't will frell basically just reprising his role as President Business from The Lego movies this movie should have been called please God not another sentient toy movie you're a Nobel Prize winner oh no not me but Barbie is I get the most everyone is named Barbie but that doesn't mean you can't understand the concept of plural Barbies this is like when I learned that a group of Lego pieces are technically called Lego that we call them Legos so they're Legos it's plastic bricks get over yourself come on S give it to her destroy Barbie Sasha will now say a lot of terrible things about Barbie that also happen to have the interesting distinction of being completely true it's a cell phone so powerful that the movie won't even really attempt to engage with it at all and Mattel gets to Fain self-awareness as they laugh all the way to the bank without changing a thing the power of movies you said the feminist movement back 50 years come on Sasha I don't think you're giving enough credit to organize religion these books appear to be sorted by relationship to masculinity Dewey didn't sacrifice his decimals for your convenient storytelling movie can I talk to a doctor you are talking to a doctor wow while Ken's exploration of the patriarchy is hilarious this is the kind of subliminal subtle sexism that he wouldn't suffer from comes from a world where only women are doctors his internal bias would be that she would be the doctor that's not changing within a few hours of picking up a horse fetish then I can't hire you I can't even beat you Ryan goling is so good in this I have to S it for letting a man steal so many scenes in the Barbie movie but I thought we could go get some sof Ser thank God they arrested that nut job ignoring an offer to get soft serve I don't care if my kids's being baptized if someone in the next Pew asks if I want to go to Dairy Queen I'm leaving right then and there she thinks she's Barbie wait what did you say she said she thinks she's Barbie and she said it just as you happened to conveniently pick her up at the exact point that Barbie was getting taken away oh and she conveniently picked this moment to have a conversation with you about it even though she's a solent teenager who probably doesn't want to talk to you most of the time so what can I do to repair the rift in the SpaceTime Continuum the SpaceTime Continuum was there time travel that I missed you literally just took a geographical trip via a series of Transportation devic to a world that was previously impacting you in real time don't you go all endgame on me Barbie the sin counter will not be friendly get into the box and you'll go back to Barbie land I know she's going to escape but now I kind of want to know how that would work would the Box teleport her back would they just carry the box back to Barbie land would it put Barbie in stasis explain to me the mysteries of This Woman's box this is not a tandem bike and badass Barbie clearly said to a tandem bike I don't know where Ken will end up for this mistake but if he ends up in poly pocket land's about to go down women are the freaking Foundation of this very long phallic building unless the architectural style is neoclassical Cho you might want to rethink that statement get in the Box you Jezebel wait now I'm confused if Barbie is Jezebel in the story is Ken King aham and who is Elijah damn it I knew I should have paid more attention in Sunday school and that elevator just open for her without even pushing a button what the you know what Fu you in the mind reading elevators you rode up and down on why aren all these Executives running like they're in a Talking Heads music video These are actual humans in the real world right pH good thing for the locks a door with a broom while being chased cliche and that there always happens to be a spare broom directly on the other side of doors with handles like this oh sh I remember this scene look out Barbie a bunch of Smiths are about to come through those doors and try and turn you into a clone of them who are you a nostalgic stab at corporate Absolution irrepressible thoughts of death Barbie Mattel did not immediately release this Barbie in a limited series with a coupon for a month of free counseling after this film's debut I came for you a what a beautiful notion I'm glad the rest of this movie will wrestle with the young we that comes with adulthood and parenting and how this mother and daughter can reconnect and find common ground or maybe it will just be Ken doing patriarchy sh in Barbie land and these two will quickly become an afterthought with a handwavy resolution yeah probably more that those were your memories hold up if they were her memories then why did Barbie's Vision lead her to Sasha shouldn't have led Barbie to Mattel's headquarters so she could meet Gloria right away I need to know the rules for Barbie premonitions I love women I want to help women fun fact having Barbie say I love women is actually the closest lesbians come to having any R in this movie you even had Kate McKinnon but we couldn't get any safic Barbies women hate women and men hate women it's the one thing we can all agree on and that you better check the toilet roll before sitting down that's another one where we seem to be on the same page where did you going to drive like this there was this guy his dad yeah yeah it was it was Dad thinking your teenager isn't able to handle processing your sexual past and its relation to your sudden stunt level ding skills how did we get into these clothes how did we get into this vehicle I wasn't going to say it because Barbie magic going to Barbie magic and all but since you brought it up I'll count it oh that's strange that's all it took was one dude spouting patriarchy stuff and the whole world changed instantly yeah it feels a bit weird to me too hi Barbie movie forgets how to include the shot of the person that's trying to cam up what have you done better question how has he done it how have merchandise appeared from thin air with a th Ken has somehow created new vehicles grills couches clothing and beer are the kin able to think things into being Mojo Dojo Kasa house the fact that Mattel actually sold a Mojo Dojo Casa house Ken after this movie made fun of the idea of them selling Mojo Dojo Casa house merch tells you everything you need to know about the actual real world we live in you know now that you Barbies aren't around to run everything we can do our hair however we like was that something the Barbies control if the Kens are Superfluous I have a hard time believing the barbes cared enough to manage their hair this is like in the 1500s with the indigenous people and small poox they had no defenses against it no you cannot compare a contagious disease to the shifting of a deeply ingrained cultural bias If This Were true Barbie would have been able to spread matriarchy to the real world just as quickly let recap all the amazing changes and Innovations thanks to the k Sorry Barbie land for self-aware news position is actually still just news position it's not Barbie's Mojo Dojo Casa house right how's that feel it is not fun is it wait is the movie actually taking Barbie land to task for its sexism against men we supposed to be feeling empathy for Ken here wow that's fascinating and bold I mean as long as the movie actually has the desire to really fight through the ideas of power dynamics as it relates to discrimination and neglect when the roles are reversed or maybe it will just be kending patriarchy while the Barbies manipulate them to put things back the way they used to be and it will quickly become an afterthought with a handwavy resolution probably more that land was perfect before was it do we need to revisit the fact that 50% of your population was unhoused because by those metrics Portland Oregon is perfect oh honey that's life it's all is that Barbie's younger sister I hear cuz it sounds like it's time for a skip or Skipper they can't all be winners just skip it and move on already it's basically like being a human person all the time you don't have to say human and person at the same time humans are people it's implied that's right if you're going to shame Ken for the redundancies of Mojo Dojo Casa house we're going to send you for doing the same thing I'm like you now ugly and un want to movie continues to behave like Kate McKinnon is some kind of hideous monster and I have no choice but to send that you might expect me to now send this bike having more than two occupants but tandem doesn't mean only two means two or more things in a line working together so instead I'm sending you for even suggesting it quit interrupting me I got this as soon as I figure out how to build that wall sideways and not just up no one is going to be able to get in or out immigration politics we have to go back Barbie land needs saving oh off with this sudden change of heart I'm not buying Sasha you haven't had enough character development to convince me you care about that place in 48 hours Barbie land becomes kenland even Greta can't resist the sweet sweet taste of manufactured temporal based tension third act ticking clock will not be denied comes for us all eventually I'm not pretty anymore I'm sorry what Barb's first line from her existential crisis is that she's not pretty anymore it's not that her house and her world have comeing on it's not that she now has organs that can create tears it's her looks doesn't this just valid all the pre-existing Barbie is superficial and only concerned with appearances hate I'm not stereotypical Barbie pretty note to the filmmakers marar Robbie is the wrong person to cast if you want to make this point clever funny but make what point exactly the movie hasn't even begun to address the body D morphia issues that can come from seeing a Barbie like figure touted as the ideal form of beautiful and it's not doing that here with this weird comment about Barbie not feeling pretty I don't need the movie to cover every topic when you're dealing with Barbie's relationship to beauty standards I need you to at least go deeper into why beauty is more than plastic deep you have to never get old never be rude never show off never be selfish never fall down never fail never show Fear never get out of line it's too hard it's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you America for rare rules this whole speech rules women should rule I did write a book it's like I've been in a dream where I was somehow really invested in the Zach SN cut of Justice League this joke is hilarious and will also be a reference nobody gets in 20 years I hope Ken cannot resist a damel in distress are you sure because Barbie was in distress on the lawn of Ken's Mojo Dojo Casa house for a while and not a single Ken rushed to her side oh my God you've never seen The Godfather this movie is a Rich Blend of cop's aesthetic genius Target destroyed I am deceased to gr now that they think they have power over you you make them question whether they have enough power over each other God damn that's a r this sin isn't for Barbie but our actual World beinged up enough that this statement might accurately describe it oh hey you've caught me reading the fact that he's reading a book called man and horse the long ride across America is a great commitment to this horse patriarchy gag the problem is Ken only flashes the book for a split second so if you don't play this conversation frame by frame you miss it entirely don't waste your jokes movie no gag is too small kincher is good at playing the guitar for someone whose job is Beach does the title of long-term distance casual low commitment girlfriend mean nothing yelling like this when there's a megaphone two feet from your left hand I'll see you on the Malibu Beach is it War a hoot oh the hilarity starting your Ro shampoo by throwing scissors always start with paper against a male opponent because most males start with rock meaning these two pick the one choice that makes no sense either way in this movie of all movies should know better I love everything about this hilarious dance fight well except the movie completely just yada Yas how War somehow quickly turned into Unity but who needs actual character development when you have dancing KS w we supposed to vote today Americans is it just my imagination that these Mojo Dojo Casa houses just get dreamier that's because their dream houses mother censoring your swears your PG-13 you get at least one F-bomb but self-respecting creative wouldn't have the conviction to just leave that unbled we've reinstated the Barbie land Constitution you did not the Constitution was never changed the Ken were going to vote on whether to change it but since the Barbies voted that down the original Constitution remained intact your legal framework was never altered to be honest when I found out the patriarchy wasn't about horses I lost interest anyway Jesus Christ this man wants to horses even more than John Oliver I knew horse girls in Middle School who wore leather pants with fringe down the side and brought horse thermoses for their lunch boxes even they didn't like horses this much attempting to cry kiss even if she were into you man she doesn't want your various face liquids mixing with her mouth liquids we were only fighting because we didn't know who we were well and the Barbies purposely used jealousy to manipulate you maybe it was a Confluence of things is all I'm saying K is right it's just so hard to be a leader damn I totally forgot you were in this movie and also not sure you actually needed to be that's a terrible idea yeah that's going to make money oh ordinary Barbie I love it this movie treats unrestrained capitalism like a hilarious harmless kend doall without any genitals but my problem is that unrestrained capitalism absolutely has genitals and it's going to us all someday and then none of us will be laughing also while inventing this new Barbie automatically populate Barbie land with a new member would do the Barbies have to make her and then she becomes a doll to be sold in the real world I don't think we ever cleared up the Chicken and the Egg scenario here that was always the point I created you so you wouldn't have an ending oh come on there's way too much going on here for any of it to feel truly complete this movie has so many resolutions they should have titled it Return of the King baby I am Matel until the IRS got to me but that's another movie oh can that movie also touch upon how Barbie was actually based on a German doll called Bild Lily I think that story deserves to be told as well I don't really feel like Barbie anymore oh sure you say that now margar Robbie but when you see the check for Barbie 2 I have a feeling you'll feel like her again in no time the speed at which Ken and Mattel had this hoodie produced ideas live forever humans not so much ideas do not live forever most of them die quickly and the ones that live will still die when the human race is wiped out by an asteroid in the year 2141 2 weeks before the first Interstellar mission is supposed to be launched as Herman Stan hope stands watching the approaching annihilation of the world and the neutering of the years of work he put into the interstellar program as its head designer his last thoughts will be of the irony of space conquering his species just before his species conquered space it really does feel like a simulation sometimes he will think seconds before a giant rock ands not only his life but that stupid idea he just had being a human can be pretty uncomfortable yeah but what nobody tells you is that discomfort varies widely depending on where you're born your genetics and the family wealth or poverty you're born into you might want to warn Barbie about all that before she makes the wrong decision movie accidentally inspires millions of people to make the exact same Tik Tok using this song or damn oh it was a cold move for the movie to cast link but leave Rett out GMM fans are going to be pissed I'm here to see my gynecologist a smile that will soon be wiped forever from this face by the phrase scoot forward just a little bit more and a lifetime Terror of stups get the hell off the beach hi Barbie hi Barbie hi Barbie here's Johnny hi Barbie hi Barbie oh no hiie hello my name isoya you're hurt you hurt realing bad I pleas scare this out of me Larry I'm going to die I know oh excuse me I didn't realize you had a degree in medicine what do I have to do you have to go to the real world to find out what happens what when people stop being polite I'm going all the way up Jesus Joseph and Mary is that a blue letter crep some mighty why you tell a guy hold on folks were expressed to the top floor oh we got her there she is it's a temporary setback mom mom mom mommy mommy get in get in the car I'm just having some brusi beers in my Mojo Dojo Casa house the crowd is standing on his feet here at austa questing Iran from a serious musician it's just it's too far my Lord did you just say a serious musician every night is boy night what are you doing we got to go we have to go back Kate

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 855,654

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, barbie, barbie movie, the barbie movie, barbie 2023, greta gerwig, barbie greta gerwig, margot robbie, margot robbie barbie, ryan gosling, ryan gosling barbie, barbie movie review, barbie movie reaction, barbie cinema sins, barbie movie explained, barbie movie clips, barbie movie commentary, movie commentary, barbie movie rating, first time watching, first time watching barbie

Id: 1qphrR6NEZY

Length: 24min 26sec (1466 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 23 2023