Every Technoblade orphan clip

why do you want to kill orphans well you see when i was a child my parents and i we visited an orphanage and and the orphans they ripped my parents to shreds and on that day i swore revenge against all orphans all right that's my backstory to steal as many presents from orphans as possible who came up with this someone who really understood the spirit of christmas dude how do you 17 i saw you memorize the spot i can neither confirm nor deny this information aren't you enjoying this no because i see a present on the tree and i don't know how to get there did you try getting good you should be sad that you've collected 41 presents from orphans dude these orphans are getting destroyed jesus christ this is the second worst thing that has happened to these orphans in their lives it's so bad pretty sure i just got demonetized okay so there's something that i've seen on twitter and i need you to explain this to me all right oh god and i'm gonna and i'm gonna pull it up on no no no it's nothing bad i'm gonna pull it on my screen there's nothing good it's your bio it's your bio and i and i and i've always over thought this i always overthink this right but now that you're here i can ask you and now i'm not going to overthink it that's not true carl it says the second thing the second worst thing to to ever happen to these orphans what does that mean technoblade what's up i was the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans and what what's the first worst thing to to happen to those orphans quackity they they weren't always orphans [Music] to see if anything has happened to carl so if he's not in the exact spot i left him by the portal there's um yeah swords can have a lot less durability when i'm done what does that mean what does that mean i'm going to stab so many orphans and you're going to be one of them i'm not an orphan though not yet big big q has a family yeah techno he's not gonna have one for long if i get back and carl's not exactly where i left listen what if what if perhaps you come back in not three minutes but what about uh what about you take eight minutes to come back that's no good i found another revoker it dies i guess oh i found one i found so many evokers oh man i really chose the wrong floor huh oh you really did your floor is sucked man my forward terrible axe oh god i gotta eat my cake should i drop the bottle this is the worst type of food the heck is hitting me oh it's the ghost orphans come on do i flip and steal oh i don't want foot and steel i can't start burning there's another ghost where's it at ghost orphan down officer i drop kicked that child in self-defense you gotta believe me no i said i'd adopt a small orphan child if i won weight no no that was a bit that was no no no no no no no no no please chit chat chat it was a joke it was a joke chet please don't retweet it don't retweet that let me delete let me delete the tweets no no no no this didn't happen this didn't know no please please no a guy does any could you do you have one spare nether right ingot holy 50 gifted subs thank you just one from all of you because then i could make a big nether right sword or you could just like do actual work look at me i'm just a poor boy with a poof no family actually canonically um oh wow aren't you an orphan no no no no no no i'm with a poor family so poor so poor family feels like i'm sorry no no no no no no no no no no no you'll never need to eat again i was born in the lab they they they tried they tried to construct the best person ever and they ended up with me oh that went terribly what a failure those scientists are out of funding emily pogba tech no dad no no no you don't understand i hit the definite i hit the definite key you saw nothing genius streamer techno blade guys genius streamer alright how dare you suggest i have a father i i just spontaneously appeared 21 years ago i don't have parents i don't have parents what do you mean uh hey i i remember there being more of these i remember i i i i remember there being a there was actually a there was a an infant child in this boat did you did you did you eat that baby look at me look at me did you eat that child what did you see tell me what you oh my god he ate a baby he actually oh my god oh my god that's the only thing that could have happened that's the only thing that could have happened chat he ate the baby he ate the baby oh my god that baby shouldn't have been cured all right nope he tried and now wait wait no no come back all right all right we're fine we're fine and we're good i don't have a lead for the child but he's a good boy right what could happen to him what could that oh i mean if we keep him away from this guy if we keep him away from this guy he'll be fine he'll be fine all right all right so terrible phil look out whoa that was cool oh thank goodness we could do with some uh gunpowder hey we're adopting a small child boys yeah yeah zombie child we did it they make because it's just so weird it's like wait is it a nitwit oh wait it's wait babies that's right right i see i see the green sleeves though we will cure this baby and raise it as one as our own the baby is shaking usually that's a bad thing that's what you're not supposed to do hey will it remember that's just a side effect of the vaccine oh no no no no no no no no phil i was trying to make christmas money oh what have you done i fell off my chest how did you fall out of your chair phil i didn't say the same way don't worry all right oh you're fine monetization's fine it's gonna remember that i cured it right holy i think so uh yeah the other one that admits that the uh the golden apple all right all right do we have any more zombie villagers out here that we can we can save it's it's rainbow oh it's not phil whatever you know it's crazy right isn't it crazy oh no the beast needed to know where their friends fell look out not again oh thank god oh close one oh my god phil you got to be careful and it was it wasn't it wasn't fire protection or protection or anything if if anything it probably just had on breaking or something they did the math they did the math and pretty much determined it was just a basic i got my absolute life destroyed by a basic it's fine it's fine this is why you have to join me and hate an orphan's phil they took everything from you and now you have to take everything from them and they don't have a lot so it'll be quite easy how do we know that the baby zombie was an orphan i didn't see no parents true parents that is true it is true if you don't see the parents of the child immediately assume that it's an orphan exactly that's what i i see an unsupervised child in walmart and i just bam jump kick [Laughter] oh man i can imagine you working at disneyland a child comes up to you i can't find where my parents are just like what was that i don't know where my parents are get them wait a minute this child has no parents exactly jesus christ and that's why i'm banned from disney world just like whiplash the orphan is healed yeah the orphan is healed let's get him a job you named him orphan let's get him a job listen it's it's time for it's time for this orphan to grow up all right you can't just be use useless forever you took out the pickaxe that you used to stab people as soon as you said that fear is an excellent motive oh what happened they keep teleporting through the floor how do they go through the floor all right it's fine that's where i wanted him to go all right no don't climb that ladder no wait wait wait down here yeah yeah maybe we shouldn't have put him here what if he like goes in there and gets stuck ah whatever yeah whatever orphan he won't adopt you get over here it's time for work it's time for work no stay away stay away no stop bonding stop bonding at once fantastic this is good for him yeah this is good to learn this way exactly you learn to be employed exactly in a cobblestone box yeah employment pug is that is that how you get a job you just get trapped in a box until you become legal exactly we got to be careful phil if we break any one of these blocks he will escape and try to bond with an actual adult and we can't allow that all right there will be no childhood for that wow that's wow why hasn't this orphan child grown yet he's had enough trauma it's time for child labor get to work you lazy bum stop having a childhood and sell me experience bottles for low low prices you really are a business man i really am i really am oh my stomach hurts dude like right next to each other oh an igloo i haven't actually been here before i'm gonna check it out i'm getting a lot of gunpowder you're all right oh there's not an igloo anymore oh there was something living in there and it was green and it was oh there's two villagers in here and they're in jail what the heck the heck is it is this orphan's parents did we find them we finally found them mom what the heck what what lore have i just discovered i don't know what i'm supposed to do with these villagers man they're just vibing down here well you can just learn zombies and try to get lucky yeah it's pretty rare because the server is uneasy yeah so what are the odds we just i think it's like a 20 chance that they'll turn into a zombie villager on easy i'm pretty sure it's somewhere around there so i guess you don't really you're not really using them okay okay i'm sorry villagers i'm sorry it's for science it's fine it's for science oh no and even then if they both die then the child down in the basement is really an orphan sorry adult all right zombies follow me follow me zombies oh no follow me there's food down here oh one second i am very far away that i don't have a give me stone i don't have stone no but i need it this is for science it sucks no but this is super important i don't have stone fundy i don't know i know you have stones i don't have stone this is for science zero percent chance that this works wait what are you doing that's a chance i'm willing to take jet oh zombies i might i might be doing some human experimentation here you're waiting some water down wait can i watch wait there's a zombie coming down might turn into a drowned oh hey ah didn't didn't you like trying murder wait maybe maybe maybe we should do some some science here before we before we let all of these guys die terribly [Music] so i'm just i'm just pushing the zombies in okay just keep the water there let me go to the minecraft wikipedia you guys have done a chance of the villager becoming a zombie is set to easy is zero percent oh i wish i had boobies i like those odds i like those odds guys i believe trying to get rid of them oh here comes another one then this is why i give you a can and death every stream no wait is that just the goal of yours just to kill me every single time i've cannon killed him eight times this week uh yeah let's go he's he's got to have grown up right now right yeah yeah all right rambo when we see him don't mention anything about his parents sounds good sounds good we didn't see anything how has it not grown up yet how much trauma can we inflict on one child before it your baby grows don't cost anything oh my god no it's not growing up yet on the bright side we might have inflicted the optimal amount of trauma onto this child for it to become funny oh yeah he can become a minecraft youtuber yeah yeah it's working yeah man i feel like he should have grown up by now but i really feel like he showed up he's really taken his sweet time i think why do you trauma oh oh my god now get to work yeah microphone okay let me get some blocks all right he's definitely not nitwit so here we are get to work he's still cold that is the label that'll be on him for the rest of his that's his name now we trade with him he's just gonna be called off yeah no get a job wow you sound like my parents yeah i have an okay discount it's honestly that does not seem like that much of a discount to me [Music] oh that's a good discount though the things happening girls pearls pearls a lot of trauma oh yes a good amount oh so many tinglings i just got an 80 discount on enterprise dude oh that's pretty good oh this is what i like to see oh orphan is going to be so useful it's going to be so useful orphan is going to be useful yeah oh yeah loads of the enchants and everything okay the keyword villagers are the ones that just are constantly at like cheap trades non-stop oh we gotta we gotta save more orphans man i'm gonna start an orphanage down here that sounds terrifying techno oh yes attack no blade orphanage yeah that's what the sign above your house should say it'll attract the orphans i'll have to put up posters all around all around the server it's like don't have parents do i have a job for you do you are you an orphan will i want you to work for me for very cheap yeah child exploitation that's good enough for me give me some ender pearls give me some ender pearls orphan give me some experience well that was like nothing what the heck i guess he hasn't refreshed his trades okay i think a stack of emeralds is good we got the name tags we're going to be visiting orphan's parents all right orphans dad orphans mom we're going to label them they don't have names all right now i've gotten a lot of curious comments how can how can orphan have parents and it's it's really not hard to understand everyone everyone has uh as parents actually that that's how they that's how they came into into existence i really i really don't see what the problem is here all right it's just a guy named orphan all right now he doesn't know his parents all right he assumes orphan thinks his parents died because i didn't i didn't tell him when i thought they were dead so i just told him he was an orphan and abducted him and forced him to give me low low deals on ender pearls and then i found his parents so that was kind of awkward but i'd already named him orphan so and i i'm i was just thinking to myself you know what do i have to really tell him that i found his parents what if that what if he raises his prices you know i'm really relying on his depression to give me those slow low prices all right what i'm saying is i'm a good person all right i'm a good person and now i'm going to go initiate business deals with his parents because they do not have jobs and technoblade is a man that brings jobs to this s p all right okay i know it looks like they're boxed in in jail but that that that could be any guys relax relax take take this job take this job all right waiting to get the name dad mom perfect perfect empty map bro this is expensive what i'm out of emeralds i'm out of it's okay i brought an ender chest because i'm a genius we're not gonna have to awkwardly walk all the way back like losers all right we have the ocean explorer map and just in case i want to get one from orphan's mom as well all right get a job and get a job this is a different map i need to see this is this is the exact same map this this is the same map we didn't do anything i just got ripped off

Channel: KING POTATO

Views: 2,981,078

Keywords: technoblade, technoblade minecraft, technoblade dream smp, minecraft, dream smp, tommyinnit, technoblade compilation

Id: lTUZpiksIQ8

Length: 21min 24sec (1284 seconds)

Published: Fri Oct 22 2021