Episode 93 - Live from Just For Laughs

what's up guys welcome to TMZ podcasts this is actually last week's episode if you want today's episode that'll be on our patreon right now you can get it a week early if you contribute its patreon.com slash tiny meet gang so thanks if you do that and if not enjoyed this one whose we're on okay no more cuss words we are live [ __ ] [ __ ] ask common [ __ ] what's up and butt cheek oh so guys a few girls - actually no this is just for the guys okay girls can't listen to this my a little bit quiet look at that you are a little bit soft you little soft boy you turn you I'm not like I'm not soft the voice my voice was coming through a little bit softest because the recorder yeah the levels weren't right but you know what it is no I'm not soft I in fact I'm hard now you're a little soft boy I'm hard as [ __ ] right now soft little boy I take you down a little bit it's a little too much energy you sporting a full bone dogs where this one woody woody woody make what do you make Harrelson mm-hmm you know what you know what this is the first time we've done a show and I feel like we've come into the podcast and we feel fine you know what I mean like not exhausted yeah yeah yeah no I I thought that even after coming off stage last night it wasn't like a it was more like yeah I rolled it was fun let's do again oh yeah yeah I gotta stay up there for another hour dude easily yeah that was so much fun it was too short yeah the rapper I mean there's that okay also my height there's also my dick there's also so I see what he did there it was like a play on words yeah a little bit yeah I had like quadruple meaning to it a little bit of bars yeah no I mean short also is an acronym for for saucy hoes over nice you fill in the last two I mean it's up to you that's the cool thing about acronyms I was a collaborative thing I can't look you in the eyes so you could tell me saucy hoes we're getting close man the friendship is getting strong I could feel it they thank you to just for last man that was so much goddamn that was so much fun that stage was awesome the new changes we made its width especially with the stands yeah oh yeah yeah that was sick we got to do that from now on 100% maybe even dress up the mic stands a little bit yeah I mean like we had entertain stands but like now um now that we've gotten to try it yeah sick we got it we got to actually invest in like to like diamond plated myself it's just something dumb something like so ridiculous yeah like Chrome we should say that for the you know for the yeah yeah fair enough it's also it's cool doing a show like that like a show like this such a like a reputable festival everyone knows what the [ __ ] they're doing the sound was so clean so good so clean so like the whole we could hear ourselves so well the whole time voices sounded like when we were doing the same parts yeah oh such the whole man this was getting wet his ears were you just gave away that there's music at the show how many people know that you think yeah okay people know that well if you don't know you'll see you'll see it I I do we do want to say this after October we will not be we will not be on the road for a little while yeah October will be the last batch yeah we're going you know what we're putting things in motion right now to get back on the video grind even harder yes so it's gonna be you know we're gonna treat it as a as a factory you know almost almost kind of just pumping out generic videos we're going to go we're going for quantity over quality yeah we're gonna do a vats cringe everyday worship yeah to the point where it's just like a 10 minute video about that like Buffalo a video of the Buffalo hitting that girl yeah yeah we're gonna take a 3 second clip and just be until she's walking death I just ripped your [ __ ] headphones out sorry dude yeah I think what we're gonna do oh ok because so we we took a little trip through the barstool content Factory and that was that was cool shoutout barstool they were everyone was really cool a lot cooler than I think I expecting I didn't I didn't know what to expect I mean obviously I know if part of my take but like I thought the rest of it was gonna be like douche bag Factory yeah I thought there was gonna be like just mega tools yeah no offense beast tool if you're watching yeah yeah nobody you know face it hi yes I just being honest I didn't know what to expect yeah I mean it's tough one like when when you associate a bar stool with just like the the meme Instagram account yeah yeah that's all it is yeah that's all I know from barstool is like frat dudes forwarding memes back and forth yeah but uh people like you know shotgunning white Claus or whatever the [ __ ] but no it was it was awesome everyone there was super nice and really funny I think I totally understand now why why they're those shows are so successful because everyone was really charismatic and it was easy to although shows I want to give a big shout out to um our boys at KFC radio for diving deep on Adrianna chech Nick yeah that was great I I got I got the boy to dry-heave which I guess is um is a bit of a bit of a skill you want to explain this for people that aren't gonna go watch it so basically we got talking about Adrianna Cech Nick who is the girl that we referenced towards the end of the year say that that she had that squirting video go viral she's an adult she's in the film actress yeah she's an adult performer she does stunts yeah and her and her her big her hottest release at the top of the year was uh the squirting on an escalator bit she was Phi it's got like nine thousand downloads on dad [ __ ] bangs and so we didn't really get her name right so the boys at KFC were like now you you got to put some respect on her name get her damn name right it's Adriana chech Nick I was like oh sorry but then we could they knew what like they they're big fans yeah we were surprised that they even knew of that video oh yeah everybody thought that was kind of like a niche little little like video you know that's one of those porn videos you find on Twitter we were like yeah and you send it like one person yeah and I was in president they even dug that up out of us and hey so we got talking about it and and so I proceeded to make a joke about Adriana chatting like like I'm on Ash Wednesday when the priest goes around with the palm leaf and he dips it in the holy water and he's sprinkling the crowd I made a joke that she was gonna do the same thing with her sport water juice our boy caves he just stood up and just [ __ ] he started he just instantly he starts to chuckling he's like like so hard and loud and we're like are you dying are you good started getting turned on with how hard he was dry heaving that [ __ ] was like damn bruh he stands up laughs even more than goes he dry heaved hard and then he's like he's like I almost got it down almost got it really what's what's happening yeah he does this all the time he's got a really sensitive stomach I was crying good if you go back and watch I mean Cody and I are like just wiping our eyes like they started moving on to another subject and I wasn't ready I was like what [ __ ] was crazy what was a story you told me about your friend oh yeah yeah oh boy he had a sensitive stomach in elementary school and like he would puke real easy even through college he was a little bit like that we got him to puke one time in a parking lot it was so funny funny somebody like hocked a loogie and then he was like Oprah and then everyone just started doing it we got him to puke just from hocking loogies and he's like bro stop stop bro seriously no knock it off you like stepped away yeah but no that's not the story the main story was that in elementary school a kid sat in a slice of pizza and the kids stood up yeah and it was like a perfectly like just mushed Pizza into the kids at like pants and for some reason that triggered my boy and he just puke instantly like you just saw he's just do that's so funny because that's not gross at all no it's not there's nothing gross about sitting in pizza it's just like oh it sucks like I watch pants now but it's not gross even that sentence I just said in pizza you said perfectly perfectly smushed pizza when there's a perfectly smooth like I don't know like it just like it like just like meshed to his pants like it's tough it's like like so funny there's some reason there's just enough resistance in the pizza slice that he just stayed right on his ass cheek damn you got that perfectly smudged yeah who sat on that perfectly okay cuz I'm maybe like you could have sat on it wrong it could have fell he didn't slide at all there was no way there is no yeah there's no like snail trail throwing up is so funny Oh check out that big yeah let's guy just sat on some pizza speaking of vomiting I stuck around and watch Devo show so how much can we say about that is it like I know is it is it is it it's probably not kosher to talk about other people's shows it's not and all I'm gonna say is steve-o does he has a stand-up show where he like its split between like you know jokes and and and like bits that he's filmed and I think that's fair to say right yeah yeah yeah you know what goes on in the show and they're really interesting you know he kind of talks about like cuz he's still he still treats like the Jackass sort of like doing stunts like he treats that in a really sort of creative way like like he think like he thinks of like funny puns or like phrases that people you and he'll be like well that's never actually happened like he'll think about like stuff in it in like a literal context and be like okay that's that's never happened oh yeah yeah you know and like yeah like laughing my ass off let's see if we can actually FRS yeah yeah yes like something like that exactly and so here like he'll kind of talk about how he gets to a bit and and then like he shows the bit and it's like uh I was just cool it it definitely made me feel 16 again mm-hmm but like in a not like in so much a juvenile way like I don't know that it just felt special yeah the way I was laughing his stuff I was like oh my god and some of the things he did I was like no and like the drama of him like explaining it beforehand and you're just like oh my god oh my god oh my god and then he play the bit and you're just like oh Jesus let's just say we can say this that they were - the people that run the show we're telling us that like after every single show they have people that pass out people that puke and yesterday he said that there was a guy that got kicked out for jerking off what the [ __ ] who is he jerking off to and I should say we he went on right after us we shared a green room with him yeah it's like this big beautiful theater yeah and we just did our show got off he goes on and then we find out later some dude was jerking off yeah in the back row yeah it made me think that we needed to do some different yeah no one's Jersey yeah that's what I'm saying we need to do more like thirst trap tic TOCs yeah live yeah no I think it's too late for us to be doing thirst trips yeah it's over for that yeah speaking of which definitely true definitely true but speaking of which you know how we like download - tik-tok and now we're on it yeah so like by the way okay oh go ahead no finish what you're saying I'm kind of trying to like wrap my brain around it just like you know you know the couple we made I was like actually kind of fun you know whatever and so I'm kind of like trying to now I'm in the stages of trying to wrap my brain around like how the [ __ ] popular page works and all that [ __ ] yeah and if you just go down the for you page it's [ __ ] 80% people that think they're hot is it really it's like 80% thirst traps it's [ __ ] crazy actually that yeah that is true I when I like God on my whole like 6-9 conspiracy I cracked it open and I started to try to like dig through stuff but I got really uncomfortable because like the like for some reason the Gummo remix had like hell of people like hello like little girls and little shorts like doing dances and stuff okay I can yeah it's like overtly sexual and it's like it's like I think tick tock is like it's like an editorial thing I think they're like choosing videos for the for you page so it's almost like they're encouraging it a little bit ooh yeah it's like a little it's it's pretty [ __ ] weird like scrolling down is just like oh oh god what the [ __ ] is like you know just dudes biting their lips and just like yeah actually it's a great little oh boy compilation based off tik tok oh yeah it was like it's like some remix of like the like the low uh-huh and man bookmark this oh yeah okay and everyone's gonna be like I wish you would show the video and maybe I'll comp this one in because it's easy that being said though there's also a bunch of like exes whiners on Tech Talk now like I feel like the comedy side of it is actually kind of taking off a little bit Oh totally yeah so um watch this giant right here oh I saw this [ __ ] that's all we need what are they doing what is this yes that yeah I don't know some yeah you want to [ __ ] me hey you want to [ __ ] me the weirdest way to look attractive I don't I don't get that I'm old out here yeah I'm so I'm weird yeah I don't want to [ __ ] me that's what they're doing they're like yeah they're like hypnotizing people you know yeah they're like [ __ ] the x-men dude whatever hits one Xavier Xavier yeah doesn't he do this [ __ ] oh boy Xavier yeah Xavier walk me girls just [ __ ] that's what we need [ __ ] me you know we need we need x-men but it's all a boys and they were formerly big burly men who have become a boys become a little soft boys okay yeah it's a big little soft big burly boys yeah so it's like Hulk but now he has like um like a dull Brave Brothers haircut hmm and it's like partially bleached okay and he's lost about like 60 pounds jzuk super skinny yeah yeah he's me skinny ripped mm-hmm he's got a he's got a septum yeah yeah yep yeah he does in a tongue ring yeah he does and a lip ring for sure a tongue ring just because what shop is your Hulk you got they'll break hutton [Laughter] really little soft boys yeah instead of his shoulders being drawn back they're drawn in there's got to be some big burly little soft boys on tik-tok you can find some if you find some like big older dudes that are like trying to be boys that's a big burly little soft boy you know send that to us big brotherly BB BBS be yeah big burly soft boy big burly little soft boys BBS lb yeah that's a new porno category big burly little soft boys big buff dudes crying when they get a [ __ ] crying with crying with gratefulness screaming when you're getting a [ __ ] just like that cream pie paddy video yeah what you know [ __ ] that dude fresh out of prison no idea what you're talking about what I have no idea what I'm talking about Oh bro cream pie Patti oh here we go is this like some is a meme alright y'all wanted the porn episode here we go here we go this is the most famous cream pie patty video ever you know this video probably doesn't ring a bell as of yet - cream pie patty and peppermint patty cream pie is the first I mean this this is the neutering of the internet that's not what the first results should be yeah censorship [ __ ] Google since does he wake up this is what we're talking about the end of free speech when you can't find cream pie patty is the first result yeah this is the end of the internet right here no [ __ ] cream pie patty and all the results are [ __ ] literal pie recipes what is this [ __ ] ah come on are you spelling it wrong is it like Kay green pie with a k' come on we got a lot of talk about yeah so we last night we we did the show yeah and then Kelsey and I went to watch her name is it her Instagram his girl with no job or her her name is not that it's Claudia I think let's see she's one of the people from the she's one of the hosts from the morning toast podcast which I know is a really popular podcast they talk about pop culture stuff okay so she she's a stand-up as well and so she did an hour last night at one of the clubs here and it was [ __ ] hilarious oh yeah we got there like 30 minutes late but man she rocked it it really did yeah you know people have like some certain people have like a stand-up style where it almost like doesn't feel like they're telling jokes yeah it's just like like 20 minutes went by like that yeah and there wasn't like it was you know there was no like it wasn't like that's a bit that's a bit that's a bit that's a bit the whole thing just like flowed so nicely yeah and it was like pretty inspiring to watch that because it was just like it was really entertaining yeah that's crazy to be entertaining for an hour straight oh yeah it's [ __ ] hard I am but she killed it um that's why I'm stoked for all the upcoming shows to work out new [ __ ] mmm get busy mm-hmm speaking of working out new [ __ ] of adult the Dolan twins was tweeting about somebody breaking into their home and I just want to say sorry guys I really I thought you know I thought we was cool I mean you text me before you did that yeah and I just he said hey I'm rolling to the dobre or to the Doland the the dobe Relan doe Brolin twins house yeah um do you want to roll with and I was like nah man it seems a little weird is to pull up on them like that well whatever like now I'm just a fan I won't say hi yeah I'll just say what's up I thought you know they are teed and I thought we were boys now hey you know what hey those are the two more [ __ ] are the they're the big burly sons they are pretty Oaks yeah but they got the soft boy yeah yeah they do yeah I know they got they got the piercing yeah yeah no phone got the piercing yeah I don't even know yeah do they both have piercings they could be just one of them it could be the same dude they're just editing tricks copy it's the biggest scandal of 2019 Dolan twins is actually one just nobody supports them anymore they why they get exposed what it's what's been one guy this whole [ __ ] time that's [ __ ] I don't think he's hot anymore at all dude there seems to be a big trend right now with with people coming to youtubers houses oh yeah they can add the amount of tweets I've seen in the past two weeks being like guys you know I love making videos for you guys and I hate to get serious here but please don't come to my house they're all structure the exact same you know what I mean yeah yeah we um well what the [ __ ] no one has busted in our place yet yeah I know that's not a challenge though that's not a challenge I'm gonna end up winning the same [ __ ] guys really didn't think I'd have to say this but please keep coming to my house please keep coming to - it's awesome I love it I love it look in my windows watch me at all times no don't don't do that oh man I just kind of I just I like those tweets when I see him I'm just like it's just they're always just like my dog is really scared my wife is scared please don't come to my house what a 15 year old who the camera I mean it is [ __ ] creepy man it is creepy but I also kind of its kind of bold how bold is to show it there's a pull-up with a camera yeah it happened one time at my old place oh yeah it's inside some girl was just like standing outside of the gate just looking and I was like can I help you she was like yeah um I'm a big fan and I was just well I was just walking around the neighborhood with my mom and like just you know this is and she tried to play it off like it like it was just by chance yeah and she was standing at my gate as I came out this and then her mom was there too her mom like like walked into the frame and was like hey hi sorry you mind if my daughter gets a picture and I was like you brought your [ __ ] kid here what part of you thinks that's okay honestly kind of hard you should have invited them inside yeah yeah yeah you guys want some tea or something you should man you should have gave him a copy of your key actually open-door policy keep it on Lawrence come on in whenever you want guys please stop coming on my house really didn't think I'd have to say this but the semen is messing with the paint I need you to stop jacking off on my house please stop [ __ ] on my house no come lacasa beating off on a sprinkler I don't know why people keep jerking off hey hey hey I'm almost done just give me two more say hey you're scram no scram I'm on with toys you finish dad you didn't even finish you've altered get out of here get out of here Oh clean up all this jizz that should do we should do a video with Steve Oh we'd like that someone take that clip someone please just take that clip bus on Twitter dude we should go brother's house yeah we should just get with Steve oh and do a tour where we go beat off on every youtubers house you know everyone comes to your house but no one comes on your house it's a good way to just get everybody's attention we go to we could talk about that actually I don't know if you want to talk about this what what was it I just I wanted to let that marinate though what was your hand in the air and that'll be a good out-of-context clip now you're trying to distract from yours no no yeah you are we can keep the come on the house bit going I like that bit actually I like going on the house that's good I like that one a lot there's something really funny about keep walking eyes or someone don't you [ __ ] come don't you come what are you gonna do about it don't you do it don't you I love you don't you do it if you come here I favorite my favorite youtuber jizz right now please have it you rubbing it on the house have all of it [Laughter] Susan Baratheon here at CBS 9 what happened here earlier today I I don't know I came out and normal day walk took take my dog for a walk I came out and locked eyes with this young man cut Cody wasn't the only one who came out and this guy was cranking his hog harder than I've ever seen twenty-nine-year-old dobre brother Michael dobre was jerking off on Cody's house and before I knew it before I could even say anything to this man because my big thing was don't like jerking off one thing totally fine I get people need to do that but don't you come don't you dare don't you dare blow your load statistics show that men who jerk off are likely to have a lower IQ this is linked to a study and then we just take it a whole other direction there's nothing to do looking there's nothing to do they'll be this big roundabout story about low IQ with jacking off seem in and this and that and then it comes right back to him then he just came on my house I knew it all over the place so Logan Paul was on our flight over here yeah he was hurtin when we went to New York yeah he was on the flight he was I saw him I saw him first in the lounge made really I was like I think we made eye contact and I was like oh oh look [ __ ] not trying to do this again not trying to do this again it was a month and a half later really not trying to mark this again he kept in neutral we kept the neutral yeah he actually said something about me on the barstool thing oh he there like you know Cody Co was Jess here sand then something was gonna fight him or something like that he was like no I'm actually a like I like what he does I think he's cool oh so interest no beef there I guess interesting yeah he came to Barcelona to after we left yeah um it's too bad we should go we should have just got a picture with him just cuz yeah hey bruh hey wanna get a pic yeah sure and that's it no hanging with the boy met up with the boy in NYC the Big Apple hmm speaking of the big gaping Apple mm-hmm he's what they call New York City by the way the big gaming Apple yeah big old gaped Apple yeah the gabble big apple it's actually one word gobble the gap yeah I don't know how y'all live in that city man at least downtown yeah man that [ __ ] damn during the summer holy [ __ ] hell yeah I didn't I don't know how I don't know how to dress for New York summer I don't really not a dress just in general but the New York summer especially you got to do it I'm doing I'm all it flies out I'm all thought yeah eyes out guys out I am so I'm like I don't know what to wear so I wore shorts and then put on those like stupid shoes didn't wear socks disgusting by the way this meat it's meat let's meet mice meat mice meet feet my feet smelled like sheep mice meets meat like sheep and and so I go to the AOL thing right and they got like a they have like a crane with a camera on it look at jib a jib swinging it around there's like nine different camera angles and upon me a [ __ ] head and it didn't but I'm just saying a lot coverage on me right and afterwards I'm talking to our manager and she goes she goes yeah I want she never he was really really good was really good by the way you nothing you totally looked fine you look too fine I really think that we should for this sort of thing in the future we should we should pair you with a stylist I'm like just saying I know I look like a bum just say it I love it she like you know nothing by the way before you say anything you looked fine you did nothing wrong with your outfit but we got to change whatever the [ __ ] that was yeah punching some stuff that's not gonna make you look like a total idiot I mean I felt solid yeah you're fine I just I don't know I'm fine what the [ __ ] dude chill out man we do one show together and you think all of a sudden were no no no not dude not like that talk to me any kind of which way not like that Cody gave me the Heimlich on stage last night yeah because he started choking out of nowhere yeah I just dragged his water and I started went down the rock was like this is it gonna be the anxiety's a good place to die yeah yeah just for laughs yeah right the biggest Comedy Festival in the world which by the way everyone here is so [ __ ] like organized and cool yeah like the festival is awesome it really is the energy is super dope no so and everyone that guess is staying in this hotel so like everyone in the in the [ __ ] by the hotel bar is like famous like all the dopest comedians just standing around drinking yeah and it's really cool than us eating McDonald's yeah looking right into our fries like don't don't don't don't move too much yeah like the Blake Griffin was there at the bar hmm yeah and our buddy was like you want me to introduce you to Blake Griffin that's like no no what the [ __ ] what I say I just walked right oh it's my sac tapped him I don't even care yeah what's up brah yeah what's up dogged cuz his dick is right here yeah right now face we're standing in his digs right here dapped up his ball sack a fool is actually taller [ __ ] yeah yes super goddamn tall yeah he's he's a tall he's a big burly I'm a big burly boy speaking of that bar I've eaten McDonald's in that bar two nights in a row and I think after this I'm gonna try to get like a real meal okay how far did you go whoo I think we got a I think we got to take a break yeah yeah we could talk about that cool meal in a sec I'm sorry guys we got to take a break real quick quick break stand by guys we want to say a big thank you to stitch fix for sponsoring this episode of the podcast look I just talked about my clothes I did I don't know how to dress I don't how would I describe my look mm-hmm not a big burly soft boy that's for sure not a big burly soft boy yeah and it's actually show here we go sexually regressive sexually frustrated yes I would describe my low sexually frustrating before to you because people I want to be attracted but turning them off too hard yeah yeah sexually frustrating that's how I would describe my look listen personal style is like a fingerprint everyone has their own yeah whatever your style the experts stylist at stitch fix are ready to help you express yourself stitch fix is an online personal styling service that delivers your favorite clothing brands right to your door to get started go to stitch fix calm slash TMG answer some questions about your preferred style in your personal shopper will ship you a box of clothes shoes and accessories there's no commitment required and you only pay for what you keep shipping exchanges and returns are always free plus the $20 styling fees automatically applied towards anything you keep from your box you'll never have to think again about looking good with stitch fix and you can get started today at stitch fix comm slash EMG and get an extra 25% off when you keep everything in your box that stitch fix comm / TMG at one more time stitch fixed comm / TMG hey everybody you know what time it is it's time to thank SeatGeek the one and only okay do you ever feel like getting to the event is made difficult on purpose by his big ticketing websites it's not like they're so big they don't have to care about your 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back guarantee so don't wait and go to proactive comm slash gang get this special offer again go to the go to proactive dot-com slash gang to order and make your Mickey make your first day back at school the best day ever on the gang on the game oh my god that was easily the funniest head read that was so that was great that was riveting you really locked into that essay right there did I yeah yeah I was just like [ __ ] just knocking those points down baby oh [ __ ] I just felt like I was in the [ __ ] you know like when the class had to read aloud yeah and like nine kids of read and it you just don't know where you're at but it might be your turn to read that's good I felt like if I was gonna get called on any minute like oh [Music] yeah I'm gonna go out and get a Montreal smoked meat after all this no you said you didn't want you didn't like it I mean I I mean I don't mind it I just want to eat something it's not McDonald's I tried to go into Tim Hortons last night and our boy working there didn't speak a lick of English yeah okay that's that's multiple times for me now yeah I've come across people watching I'll just dress and stuff that don't speak English feels like Paris yeah it really does it's crazy yeah um during the week we were in saw the roast battle last night Jeff Ross hosts a roast battle which by the way so goddamn funny I know you've been to those before but that was my first time yeah ever going to like that format and [ __ ] hell I could have watched that for four hours and so fun when the show ended I think it was an hour or an hour and a half I was like [ __ ] I felt like angry it's too sure yeah it was so good yeah and everyone was so good they had what eight comics do it so four battles mm-hmm each did three jokes and everyone was so funny yeah ripped yeah and then the judges were Howie Mandel Jeff Ross of course Jimmy Carr and then who's the last guy um I forget his name but they were I mean you just know like seeing them work yeah even as something even even at something as as like Nisha's judging a roast battle realize why the [ __ ] they're in the position that they're in oh so talented bro Howie Mandel first off don't ever judge that fool off of Deal or No Deal cuz that [ __ ] is still razor sharp dude he is a hitter he had some oh my goodness some of those roasts were just like oh yeah oh yeah he was good he's really good bang bang bang it's just funny cuz like they the way they format it is that those are the judges and so the people on stage roasting they'll finish and the judges will just roast them who keep roasting them oh yeah awesome you really there's okay Howie Mandel has two modes okay there's bald Howie and there's snapback Howie yeah yeah yeah yeah I feel that fitted cap fitted cap how ya raised yeah that hat he was wearing I don't even know what the [ __ ] it said mm-hm said sideways yeah bill like up yeah yeah that's crazy yeah he I mean he looked like a senile grandpa like somebody dressed him up and like the grandfather just doesn't know what he's wearing is crazy for his age hella colors too this was sick yeah he killed it I love just Washington with his rings and bracelets and kind of dripping yeah yeah kind of just just blaming people median trip yeah I appreciate comics who put their outfits together yeah comedian trip is like the ill-fitting leather jacket yeah you know I'm talking about yeah now comedian trip is borderline developer trip mm yeah yep they're almost the same yeah comedian trip though is like significantly more faded yeah and less fitted yeah developer trip is like free t-shirts like me yeah free to hated and not fit yeah no no not Oh like just says you know conceptually yeah yeah your personality is no never mind yeah rose battle was sick it was great rose petals always a good [ __ ] time I'll go to one of those if it's in your city because then now they're like everywhere yeah so definitely go um I also wanted two things one I want to say this earlier my tik-tok is not gonna be comedy oriented I'm just strictly gonna do tic TOCs that feel like um India tick tock okay nice yeah like my like my most recent is super cracking yeah is it yeah I saw it it's dope yeah it's super dope it's really cool like it feels really cool yeah when you watch it yeah I'm just trying like you're a cool guy I'm trying to be like a indian dude thirst-trapping-- yak talks yeah this is this one's hard as hell dude damn watch you pop off in Mumbai just just like an ironic yeah we go stick of all kinds of fire and effects and stuff tick-tock sake man I want to get I want to get [ __ ] 2 billion followers on there wait somebody sent me look at this one I did a view 1.3 million views on this piece of [ __ ] how how does that happen dude the [ __ ] goes viral on tick tock like the easiest ever dude wait I have to speaking of viral yeah I feel like this could go viral I don't want to be the one to tweet it so somebody else has to do it for me somebody sent me this they're like yo peep this caption don't ask me how I got here and as a pornhub link okay at a screencap this [ __ ] cuz this caption is so ridiculous I was crying I [ __ ] my boss by the ass in the office and almost we get divorced what yeah you married to your boss yeah and then I just and then I start like I started going it's like a couples account on pornhub I started going through their like videos because they're their video captions are hilarious one of them is like why the [ __ ] do we it was like why did we [ __ ] in the mountains all capitalized like hella question marks it's like a YouTube yeah it's like it's like YouTube clickbait and then the maybe [ __ ] in the mountains and then the next one was what kind of [ __ ] is this like just the thought process before uploading that like a little what should we call this what kind of blow jobs yeah yeah cuz you were messing around kind of with the style a little bit yeah it's like what kind was it what the hell somebody calling you what the hell is this how did that just happen uh do you even know that now I have no idea why did that just start playing that's really weird um kind of creeped me out a little bit yeah what a [ __ ] the top do you know who that no I have no idea Oh Cody getting dog straight sorry guys hmm I [ __ ] my boss by the ass in the office and we almost get divorced yes if somebody go tweet the captions like this the all the thumbnails on that account cuz that [ __ ] is hilarious what kind of [ __ ] is maybe they just want to maybe they want like an honest answer what kind could it be what kind is it by the mouth tamarind tamarind yeah yeah jalapeno [ __ ] mm-hmm true sure that what has been going on a lot bro I've um first off Young Dro this is like just like a news update episode I feel like who's Young Dro don't draw the rapper what happens got charged with hidden his girl the banana pudding oh yeah so what what happened I saw that headline but I didn't actually read it so I don't hmm I don't want to get to joking about this it was like I'm like a more serious thing like he actually hit his girl but as far as I know he liked Ruben Anna pudding at her and he's got an assault charge for throwing banana pudding at her which is just weird as [ __ ] and then in that same vein Jon Jones allegedly smacked a girl's vagina at a strip club and he is also facing legal troubles oh you can't do that I could apparently he just he can't be slapping badges you can't can you yeah that's not cool he can't be doing that he can't be veg slapping apparently you got to pay a hundred bucks to do that and he didn't pay he's claiming she's lying well true yeah so you can slap badge if you go in a private room or whatever no apparently like that's that was that was the things that about is that he didn't pay the hundred dollars oh my gosh is slapped of it the vagina which is fine I mean that's your business you know you gotta charge for the products and services but yeah how was more just chuckling it what a weird thing to have to [ __ ] defend in port I didn't Your Honor I didn't slam her [ __ ] yeah I didn't do that Irish I experienced the lap dance that I did but I did not slap her pissy uh Your Honor he's left the [ __ ] out of my [ __ ] and that's facts objection your honor I did not I did not [ __ ] slap quiet down quiet down everybody we're gonna take a 10-minute recess all this [ __ ] slapping has gotten the better of the court and I would like it if we could reconvene later now tell me how can I slap your [ __ ] what days of the week do you work I will pay the $100 the judge I will pay the hundred dollar fee in fact I will pay two hundred to cover on the [ __ ] slap alleged and I would also like to slap her [ __ ] ah trying to find the [ __ ] headline oh here we go yeah okay here's the article um um the his accuser I don't like that word that's a shitty word mm-hmm then claims piece-of-shit Jones placed her on the bar and slapped her vagina something that requires a hundred dollar deposit that he refused to pay her ends or a flat out ignored that's so funny forcing a news like a journalist to write about something like that yeah in like journalist way yeah yeah all right so what happened yeah uh he slapped my [ __ ] yeah and that's 100 bucks deposit deposit yeah that's crazy yeah all right all right boys you know the rules table tables free but if you're gonna slap [ __ ] tonight we require a hundred down you will get it back it's just a deposit deposit you don't say in case you slap it too hard should a clitoris sustain any injuries you know we got to protect against that so go ahead and uh slide over to hunt it if you gonna be slapping [ __ ] tonight no slap boxing tonight damn bro how many how many [ __ ] people are slapping [ __ ] in the club I mean I guess you could get carried away yeah I mean I don't know you ever tell you but now I don't want to get into that it's gonna be a moment I want to get into it you know what never mind I just yeah it was like this strip club that I went to one time and there was a good there's like shaving cream shows really well you ever tell you about this oh Phegley yes like you ever to chance cream yes yeah yeah that story was found just like them yep yeah that story was fail yeah I don't know if that if their I don't know how much of the deposit must have been to do that the foul part is not the stripper part the foul part is the creepy old man yeah that is what Oh old men they cannot they cannot control their horniness mm-hmm like I was saying like you could tell when I old man is being creepy when he just like lingers at a cashier for too long yeah like he's trying to like up load that mental image but brain doesn't work the same yeah it's like some 56k she's just looking at her and it's like pixel by pixel he's printing her into his blind it's making the dial-up sounds in his head sir-sir page sir and he's just drooling out of his [ __ ] modeling he starts pissing was it Patrice bit you were talking about what how he like he's creased not like yeah he said his horniness turned into creepiness so you don't get horny anymore for sex he just likes to sit in the mall and watch girls try on shoes [Laughter] yeah yeah there we go we're back what's up bro that is goddamn it dude it that's got to be the worst as a as a woman when you got a horny old man just like really really really trying like he's incapable of hiding it yeah I'm saying yeah cuz this may be like the reflexes aren't fast enough for the motor skills aren't ya they're just here no more so you can't look away quick enough yeah or he like or like he has to turn his whole head to get his eyes away yeah like even as he turns his head his eyes are still locked onto her yeah he has to fully turn around he's trying he's trying not to be creepy he's really bad yeah oh my god just like just sitting there shaking at the [ __ ] Starbucks and he's like starting to get wood it's like really affecting him and he can't move fast enough to get out of the Starbucks to get rid of the would make me sad yeah why cuz it's gonna be you it's just the most difficult thing about being 15 yeah getting uncontrollable wood and not being able to get out fast enough yeah like you're 16 years old again I thought I was done with these yeah 50 ain't even like that that's like 80 yeah can you even man that's actually a crazy thought net being 80 and it just doesn't get up uh-huh at all I heard old people [ __ ] no way yeah no way I don't believe that at all I'm reading some may who the [ __ ] is white but every time it starts to the YouTube video starts for some reason I'm trying to I got that I just closed your laptop I heard of Co metazine screaming at us who is this that keeps [ __ ] trying to call me don't hop don't do it I'll do it she's did you ask somebody if they know that number we should just dock some and see yeah exactly that's what you [ __ ] get you call me on the park as you get doxxed it's just a [ __ ] old horny man Cody did it and didn't dinner anyway anyway sorry guys no you know what you know what I want to talk about what let's talk about something the illinit e situation yeah so what's the deal and it also did did did every did anything actually happen why don't we explain the yeah so in that situation first so if y'all don't um dabble in the twitch twitch drama yeah it's not even drama it's it's valid reason to complain so basically there's a streamer illinit II she's done various questionable things and we don't have to go into the ins and outs of it but basically she's done things that are 1000% violation of twitch policy and other streamers get banned for less um and there's this stigma around sort of twitch admins that they are more forgiving with women and a lot more straight on men okay which I can't verify you know saying it's just that's the claim that's the general consensus I'm seeing on a website that I don't frequent called reddit hmm I never been right before read it yeah read re d di t oh cool yeah I never been there interesting yeah it's like it's like Deadspin for people who like Excel okay huh I don't know it sounds cool I'll have to check that out yeah so she um she people dug up two clips one of her just chucking her cat behind her head I saw that that was like a violent throw yeah she just grabbed him and chucked his ASP on my head yeah yeah it was like she dunked his ass really good me out yeah nice and I killed that that was like some n1 Hot Sauce [ __ ] like at the top of the [ __ ] spin just [ __ ] yeah that was a hoop mixtape double armor yeah she lobbed it yeah she chucked that [ __ ] thing that's can handle that [ __ ] though can't they no not like that really cats can fall from Heights but like you can't just they always land on their feet I thought yeah but it's not like it it's all good I would do that to a cat I'm just saying I don't know how bad that is like I think they can like if they have judgement of the of the distance yeah I think they know how to land yeah regardless was a pretty violent way to throw your cat so there was there are nine there are nonviolent ways to throw your cat yeah there are gentle ways to chuck your game yeah yeah yeah exactly which I was not one of them yeah you know underhanded definitely so people were getting mad at her well there's so there was that but there's be frisbee that's it freeze bird way that's gentle way yeah frisbee or can spin it yeah cuz as long as it's upright it knows where it is yeah 720 sorry that's not funny yeah should be junghwa no shouldn't joke gonna spin it or Bowl it yeah yeah yeah shot foot let it get eyes on the target yeah let it go yeah or javelin just like you know kind of like if you if you Tom Brady it that's fine you know if you got it if you could if you could if you could thread the the spine thread the spine with the fingers and just this yeah it let it rip yeah yeah you just want to get a little just a little twist want to get a perfect spin on a nice spiral yeah yes all right it shouldn't joke about that should definitely what yeah anyway welcome to the nonviolent animal abuse our yeah we're gonna teach you how to correctly abuse your animals whoever's listening to this podcast like to beat up dogs there you go for everyone at work welcome to the animal abuse podcast comes to the dog fighting podcast where we support dog fighting and various kinds of animal fighting today we're gonna give you the top ten ways to get dogs to eat the [ __ ] out of each other safely in your backyard PETA you're not gonna like this we're not gonna like this so Olinda t the the main thing is that she took a shot of vodka and spit it into her cat's mouth yeah that's [ __ ] up yeah cuz that could actually kill the cat no way really that's the main things people like vodka and alcohol is extremely toxic to an cat's body ah yeah so that's well that's wonder if that cat got hammered though like I wonder if it cuz if it's really toxic that means it he took it like exit no I took it like a major [ __ ] did he nice guy oh I was clean yes flame it's not it did you see the cat yeah like it look like a cat no after it took the shot now was it like it looks like everyone after their first shot of vodka really a bit of people oh really oh she's like laughing yeah she's left oh yeah poor cat yeah Cat kinda looked how I looked when I first ate [ __ ] - yeah yucky why is there like a film on the outside and they've eaten a Sour Patch Kid yeah or like a warhead yeah warhead for sure yeah doin the warhead face yeah and so it uh every everybody's mad about that [ __ ] and you know we clown her before for she had that whole thing where she was selling panties to viewers oh yeah wasn't she the copy strike chick - yeah she was like yeah we copyright strike beauty PAH yeah I'll strike him copy strike him right now apparently she also um she married her husband for a green card and then dumped his ass right after she got it Shh that accent hold I can't verify but yeah so this is all hearsay some of it yeah and doesn't she live in [ __ ] Saskatoon yeah I think so how are you gonna get a green card and live in Saskatoon by choice I don't know why the [ __ ] would you do that I don't even know what that means I mean with Saskatoon is since the sketchy ones just like nothing just planes that's all the other fields sounds good ever Saskatoon sounds like some Star Wars [ __ ] yeah it does kind of like a planet yeah yeah anyway sorry so she so sort ever so a lot of twitch folks are upset because they're like yo not only does she do these things and nothing happens to her she has a certain air about her that she can do things knowing that like it ain't gonna be anything oh she's above the twitch yeah law yeah she's a bull of law she's the [ __ ] she's the [ __ ] she's the oligarch of [ __ ] yeah exactly he's the Russian oligarch of twitch twitch Illuminati yeah she's twitch Putin okay yeah yeah that's just funny as [ __ ] imagining all women streamers as a Russian oligarch just put somebody do that take a bunch of pictures of women twitch streamers and put them in black and white it's in Russian like Oh worshipping the [ __ ] out of them everybody marching for them North Korean [ __ ] Buganda we donate our bits for the pride of our beloved streamers our benevolent streamers who provide hours of entertainment yeah their top donors are all like the ones that are eating up the most amount of the propaganda yeah yeah eating into it yeah they're going on street campaigns yes yeah we must donate our money it's for the good of all of us for the good of streaming in general it's for the people it is a source of entertainment that we would be otherwise cursed if we did not have this so please donate your money also well see their titties eventually eventually I'll do that that's that's the thing is they'll never they can't ever speak about that mmm you have to just unspoken it's for the good mm-hmm it's for us yeah she's my friend mm-hmm yeah she's my friend she's my friend so yeah so now our favorite youtuber our favorite drama mm-hmm I don't even want to say the name he's a he's got some dirt on her our boy cream comet okay is that close enough sure is that obvious enough yeah sure cream comment sure our voice comment claims that he's got the dirt and he's like basically saying you won't have it for long you'll have to worry about holding on to it cuz I'm a I'm gonna expose it and everybody's like ol cream comet if there was one time you could come through it's got to be this one it can't be some [ __ ] cuz sorry no I'm good cuz the rumor is the rumor is that she's sleeping with twitch mods yeah or are married yeah or there's like there's like hard evidence of them like fooling around maybe not [ __ ] them but like kissing and and that's why they're chilling each that's why they're like you know giving her streaming privileges over other people yeah [ __ ] that would normally get her band is because maybe she's you know doing the maybe she's diving into the the Devils the undercarriage with these twitch mods I don't want the [ __ ] that meant but you know that means she'd be sucking dicks yeah exactly maybe there are rumors that she's sucking at goddamn [ __ ] out there dicks no yeah that's just a rumor though yeah see how powerful that is hmm Wow you could say buy anything then just say that's a rumor but like all people remember is the first part mm-hmm and I heard she she she just I heard she got all the twitch mods in a room together and that made them jerk off on her house yeah she made all nine of them come on her house yeah that's saskatoon man that's what happens that's normal in Saskatoon I'll tell you that just walks out our front lawn and like peers out the window saying there's a wild man like a hundred yards away I'm just like running it's getting bigger and bigger jerking off as he's running no I don't think so he's okay beaming towards out like what there's a huge dust trail behind him where though but he's ripping and he as he like gets close to the house she's like oh my god he just [ __ ] I shouldn't have dumped my husband there's no one here to protect me he just gets on all fours on the front lawn starts jerking off on her grass Jesus maybe not now you're gonna get banned yeah that's that's a little much yeah this is why our [ __ ] episodes keep getting deep on it is dude like four out of the five no more than that like eight out of the 10 last episodes we posted on YouTube of this podcast they've gotten immediately demonetized wit like immediately which sucks cuz then like they don't get shared as much no they don't yeah [ __ ] with our with our money yeah YouTube yeah although all the tens of dollars you pay us for the [ __ ] yeah for the podcast episodes yeah taking them away from yeah exactly no the bigger issue is that people just don't see them when they get uploaded yeah what I mean they like don't put them in people's like recommend it and [ __ ] like that fine you don't want to [ __ ] pay us that's fine but don't yeah that's true that's true don't slap the yellow on us it's more important more important that people are actually seeing them you [ __ ] [ __ ] which wack YouTube we took the monetization part we we we don't ask for that you just asked for a place to upload and what if people like we should just turn it off yeah I think we should honestly I'd say I'm seriously yeah I feel like we should yeah cuz we don't we don't we don't make anything yeah yeah it's not fair like people people actually do listen to it on YouTube yeah I know we get comments like I didn't even know this was [ __ ] offloaded as soon as they start as soon as the yellow [ __ ] starts coming that views go down like you would see it and the [ __ ] stats it's just annoying it's actually crazy our last like six episodes yeah yellow right away goodbye really weird but whatever it don't matter yeah so Linda T she I'm curious to see if if if cream comet comes through with with the dirt why wouldn't he have already though what you mean why wouldn't he have he said he had it like two days ago why wouldn't he just say it I don't know I think the last I read is that he kind of he tweeted something and then redacted it or took it away I'm not sure I'm actually just thinking now I we told a whole bit about sexually assaulting a house and you don't know if that's bad no that's what that whole thing was what it sexually assaulting a house yeah but that's fine right yeah it's a house houses don't have feelings I mean it's also like pretty creepy to be watching someone jerk off on your house yeah it is but still funny why I'm just don't understand why wouldn't he just post this it's so weird to be like I have this info and it's gonna go up it's great you and I'm gonna do it because that's that's man he's you know he's working the system did you get the new Twitter update or whatever no what do I don't know I didn't get it either I just see people tweeting about it so yeah boy Paul Gotti there's some citizen Dookie hmmm well they're here you have a folks ha take some Dookie yeah Twitter update you to some Dookie mm-hmm that's what am I not you know funny what I just I don't know I felt like I've had no jokes in the last like month I don't know why I'm having that [ __ ] what do you tell great [ __ ] show oh we won't have they're a great show I don't know it was great it was great I was worried though we were we weren't a bad place on Monday or Tuesday in New York what you mean the city just like both hadn't slept oh yeah yeah in a bad place yeah yeah mentally yeah that was bad we didn't sleep like almost two days it's really weird not really [ __ ] weird west to east coast la is brutal I mean I just also I felt I mean I knew is tons of people that like like what we do and and all that put like just the sort of just knowing that we're gonna be it just for laughs I just felt crazy pressure I'm like all right [ __ ] like cuz cuz random people could walk into the show so I'm like alright I have somebody cool just happens to come through and check it out for whatever reason it would just mortify me like I think about hi man I forget what comic this was but they're talking about how Chris Rock was like their favorite comedian ever and they went up there and they told jokes I got offstage and and Chris Rock walked out on his set or something like that or he said like that [ __ ] was terrible and it just like it was like crushed his soul I just bombed in front of my idol and like that that was like Loki in my head I'm like I just hope no one cool like someone I don't know yeah like drags bill burr in door yeah he's like the Monday morning podcast he's just like as [ __ ] loses the tiny meet gang and we're just like that would ruin us hundred percent am i ruin there it goes well I I am when we met with when we met Claudia in the green room after her show mm-hmm there was a whole bunch of like industry people there talking to her yeah and one of them was like hey I was just that that was at the beginning of your show earlier she was like one of the Just for Laughs people oh can I was like oh [ __ ] did you did you have a good time yeah like yeah it's really fun I love when people he's really fun yeah yeah actually fun veneer or was it just fun yeah no I think that's the industry way of saying like nice beat good beat uh no I think that's the entry way of saying like oh yeah yeah peeped it just to say like they were there yeah yeah like he really just like whoever was just stood there watch this go out on stage and watched everyone clapped went oh wow this is and they like answered an email yeah and they like heard like half a joke and they're like everyone sees you having a good time then they leave yeah yeah yeah that's true it was fun the most non opinion that's actually the in story of being like I just I didn't feel like watching yeah I didn't listen yeah it's really fun like fun cousin that's it yeah any anything those look any additional letters you want to tack on the end they're good oh man I mean they saw Sonya she was she was very complimentary of our set and she was like we'd love to have you back though hopefully come back yeah let's come back this festivals [ __ ] rules yeah and if you live in Montreal you should come you should go to the shows because they're [ __ ] awesome yeah even like the outside here that Street all the booths and stuff then it's cool it's really really cool all around just such a good time and yeah so tiny meet or calm yeah if you want to get tickets for the October tour you know that went on sale last Friday yes and tickets are like almost sold out in like almost every single market so yeah hop on that [ __ ] if you want to get tickets and come see us come see the you know the shows getting better and once we get home we're gonna we're gonna write some new songs and stuff it's gonna be great though or yeah it's gonna be fun so come see us team G pod comm if you want to get merch where you already knew that y'all ready nude it and don't don't come to our houses don't come on our houses you come on my house I don't care don't come around our houses if you're gonna come on that if you're gonna come to the house just just come on it they'll come around them be on the sidewalk and just do it just get after it man some yeah [Music] can't wait till actually as I'm saying some somebody is gonna go to your place and you're gonna you're gonna think that's funny until you open the door and it's just [ __ ] someone just poking you in the eyes and jerking on my place is huge Jesus okay flex I mean no like I guess it's massive that's all I'm saying it's massive that's all I'm saying it's like a crazy square footage that's all I'm saying security cameras it's got a moat you don't even get to my house it's a [ __ ] castle yeah that's all I'm saying no I mean like they they can come on the building you know what I mean yeah so it's technically my place yeah so I guess maybe that's why I'm kind of so disconnected from this idea cuz it's like yeah yeah go ahead beat off on the north side of the building I don't care yeah I feel that no one will even care yeah someone my step out see you doing that who gonna get arrested definitely yeah and that's the lesson here today folks yes all right we'll see you next time see you next week

Channel: TMG Studios

Views: 217,279

Keywords:

Id: z3XG4flz2kE

Length: 70min 45sec (4245 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 03 2019