Ep #80: TOPHER GRACE | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings

[Music] foreign [Music] action um grace my new chief of staff chief stress of staff no robot girl boss in charge no no why does our gender have to be in our job description when someone's like comedienne i'm like what like you're frosh all of a sudden like i'm good um grace my new assistant but i think we call now chief of staff sure so that it's like i mean i'm like secretary i prefer secretary you're dressed like one you kind of look like you're like from 50s poland thank you that's actually exactly the aesthetic that i'm going for so true and uh uh before topher grace uh who is coming on uh is our guest on the show today which is very exciting he's um been on starred in that 70s show and then went on to play david duke the guy can do anything and we've been friends for a long time so he tells a lot of embarrassing stories uh about um my um just catastrophic uh disastrous choices in my twenties um so but we we decided today before all that that we're gonna do an employer review as i put makeup on uh because i will complete today um so grace is going to give me some feedback on me as a boss we've been bullied into having to listen to younger people and i'm down good i'm ready to listen i appreciate that i want feedback i do not want to get cancelled for a toxic work environment which is now just like having fun means you're toxic um so i i i see friends getting fired and cancelled and in trouble and sued they away luggage lady was ousted from her own company i'm noticing as you're saying this you're adding a button you're buttoning one more button on your shirt this actually is a great lead into my first point uh first of all thank you for coming okay thank you normally barely you did barely uh show up i did walk into the room while your alarm was going off well as you tell the story can i put uh hair coloring on my grace gree uh blue to cover the it's just a paste the least of it to cover my graves while you're talking is this insulting no no no go oh that's a cool color oh thank you thank you i mean like if it wasn't now 10 years ago i'd say can you please apply this to my hair but i'm not going to do that anymore so i have to do it myself you can only sing that because we're on camera you can do that to my pubes okay what were you saying um so the the button i don't have pubes and you know that that's true um the buttoning up it's like a barbie doll uh but the binding of the shirt there's just or kendall it's a lot i mean there's just no there's nothing nothing to see here folks so the the buttoning of the shirt and then um what i assume can only eventually lead to an unbuttoning of the shirt for you to address that problem uh brings me to my first point which is a nudity okay uh typically not encouraged or allowed in a corporate work environment okay okay okay um okay tell that to me more made a career okay fair um uh yeah the number of times i've seen you nude instead of setting to you this morning are you do no you're misogynist i know i don't that's true you don't respect the human the female form that's yeah correct so you're disgusted by my body yeah absolutely so isn't that toxic that's why we get along yeah no but um but why who why i remember britney spears security guard came for her because she was naked all the time was like dude take the win oh yeah absolutely what is this you should be so lucky how dare you you got to see britney spears naked yeah and you're complaining every every man my age who like watched the toxic video and felt something for the first time in their lives should be so lucky so so what's wrong with me being naked as i i as i am by my shirt wearing my minimizer bra because i didn't want my to be you know like um my uh pendulous tits to be like swinging around during our employer review but i am gonna get this so i wore a minimizer bra thank you i've not worn a button-down shirt in easily a year and a half that's a lie you wear a button shirt every day yeah but i never button the top button because i'm not a dork sorry continue didn't call you a dork no you didn't didn't but on the nudity point to be fair you did say in my interview you were like i'm going to be naked i did i did it listen this is a i mean i am naked half of the day it's part of the job and you know what i'm finally at a point where i'm proud of like accept my body unconditionally and if you can't grace no you have a great problem you let me know you should you kind of said that like you're you inflected up which is what people do when they lie i live in i've worked in hollywood for 15 years i know what lies sound like okay i've been exposed but where but where is like if i'm just wearing a bra and i change my shirt because i sweat a lot that's true you're making it too easy for me but i'm saying what like would you ever like leave this job because you're like oh she's just always naked no absolutely not and i'm i'm very like i don't care if anybody sees any part of my body yeah i i mean if you are having strong sexual urges towards me and i need to you know hide my body that's a separate comfort that's like that's an off podcast i don't know i i don't like if you're falling in love with me you just let me know that's a red table situation we could take that there i am so naked all the time because i also get distracted halfway through getting dressed that's true that is so true that's usually what it is it's like even like when i'm not even here you'll be getting dressed and you'll facetime me while you're getting because that's apparently when you do your best thinking and you'll be like so i was thinking about the trip to spokane coming up and the flights i really think and i'm like okay this is great um you're in pain so i do appreciate that can you please take off the corset harness that whatever kinky [ __ ] you were just doing but i do feel like in the interview because i've i've had many people work with me and i'm learning that if you as long as you manage expectations like i say like i'm gonna be naked a lot you're gonna have to deal with dogs and dogs you were super upfront about everything yeah i'm nothing has surprised me so far okay besides the first time i my first day of work when you almost killed me on the 101 okay so i did which brings us to driving okay one thing that is concerning it's not necessarily like a toxic thing but you'll be like okay i'm heading out like i'm driving somewhere and i'm like cool and then you will send me multi-paragraph texts from what i can only assume is the freeway um and then and then you'll voice me and be like sorry that was just getting too hard i'm like you already sent like four or five texts sorry texting and driving is just like such a hassle in los angeles sorry i am eating a breakfast mcmuffin and i have not taken my paper from your space which brings me to oh i have um which brings me to sometimes i do not take my prozac that's true and then it's weird because i'll go like greece didn't tell me to i'm like that's not her like how would she know if i took my prozac i can set a calendar alert but if i'm being weird just i probably haven't taken my progress yeah for sure um me on the freeway okay texting i do sometimes do a voice like you do often do voice memo but it's usually preceded by a few i know some protection drive you'd make mistakes and it's like you know i'm a perfectionist it's better to focus on two things at once okay so i will stop texting and driving um this is this next point is something that you you are very self-aware about um and it's the vague like vaguely sexual name calling i do say baby i do call girls mama got but i do it to guys oh i know it's actually worse it's funny it's like it's so degrading it's so degrading and i'm not doing it on purpose like i do not try to uh emaciate men on purpose or be i i mean it's just i do i another another thing that i don't think would generally be allowed in corporate america is having your employees working in an active construction zone okay yeah we are in under construction in this house but also hey what do you want to do because if you want to work in television you're working literally studios are full of asbestos everybody gets sick all the time black mold everywhere basically the stages that you're on you get so sick all the time and the workers get sick because they work overnight because they have to build sets overnight and when you're making like a multicam to come like a two bro girls just my favorite show um no like a seinfeld or a friends or any of that you're sometimes writing up until the day before you shoot so they're building sets and then you just walk into like a sawdust zone it is most tv and work environments are incredibly dangerous not just physically um you won't just get sexually harassed you will also get pink eye amazing um so yeah i mean well and the co that i corporate world i don't like i feel like the tv world is that i won't ever what am i going to go work at goldman sachs you're the one who wanted to talk about corporate america i just mean like what is go what is going to get me what are you going to put in your book in 10 years that like was the craziest done i mean we're only like two months in okay guys topher grace is on the show we're gonna shut up i'm having too much fun um i do want to tell you can you pull up some tour dates there have been some changes in the tour dates okay so first text me for updates on this eight one eight two three nine seven five two seven gracie over here um sends out the updates so if you text us here i've been saying this for a year and a half but with so many tour dates coming up and shows being added we'll text directly to your city so i don't have to annoy everybody by blasting on the main feed like i come into pensacola like and then all of you have to see it and then you mute me and then um i you know hate myself um will you start with the tour dates so i can find the new ones yeah uh riverside iowa we are coming to you is that a real place um yes absolutely it is uh the riverside casino is there and that's where you're gonna be playing on thursday october i'm gonna be gambling with my emotions tickets are on sale when this comes out so go get them april 15th to 17th we're in spokane washington uh that's next weekend that's are we done we have to celebrate this episode will air the day before we head to spokane so if there are tickets left at that point which there are not many left so if there are go buy them um we added so many shows so that all of you could come hang out with us and i'm staying on the lake so don't try to find me in the hotel i normally stay in i'm just staying an hour away in a lake so come drown me down you're helping april 22nd to 24th i'm in san antonio uh the laugh out loud comedy club uh we'll be doing an unveiling of the new name of the club when i'm there uh that's a joke april 30 through may 1 raleigh raleigh improv it's actually isn't it in kerry technically yes it's correct it's such a beautiful venue it is i was there maybe like three years ago and i spray my ankle on stage so anyone who saw that please come back and watch me not hurt myself uh it's such a gorgeous venue i'm super excited and also send us ideas of what we should do in each city because i um we're going to be shooting some content we're going to be fun that's the new thing every city i go to i'm going to like skydive or like commit suicide or something fun may 7th and 8th i'm at brea california comedy club we are adding shows yes houston texas may 13th to 15th houston improv may 20th to 22nd dallas in between those i have five days where i'm probably gonna stay in austin and do some shows there uh to be decided tbd uh uh phoenix arizona i'm there for like a week and a half doing a ton of shows may 29th to june 3rd cb live are they sold out if i'm if they are i probably shouldn't uh no okay wow uh because i think we added like a lot of shows so tempe june four through six we're at the tempe improv um i i the you know you go to the website why am i you guys know what to do you're adults i just don't feel like people go to websites anymore they don't could you have told me that i look like a full like crack [ __ ] who robbed a pimp i mean i look insane today i don't think you look insane yeah this is enabling uh it's gonna be a problem um grace stan dot hathaway yes at on instagram don't she's very different do not be a creep do not send her photos of your dick please send them to me um i will actually appreciate them and you know that she will uh whitneycomings.com someone stopped me stop this no you're done cut cut it i'll just keep talking don't write elephants though toe for grace is here the first thing i ask every guest is are we friends we are not hollywood friends we are actual friends and i can say that about um very few people but uh but i you're a very loving person so i'm sure everyone who comes on your show feels very loved and take care but i you are like we really go back i mean you know me know me well we were we were much younger kids i think we probably met when i was 21 or 22. truly yeah i mean i'm older than you but uh but it was we were you know yeah we could we're going to wax on about it for the next track i'm going to because i love talking about my youth it's like it's you're chasing the dragon always because it's so amazing but the thing about you and i was thinking about this because having you come on it was like what do we talk about we have so much to talk about and like we can't just make this inside jokes the entire time and like all remember when we made this because we because everyone's just like they're such [ __ ] dorks like remember when we made homemade ice cream and made an omelette by accident the truth is uh yeah if anyone's tuning in for some crazy 2004 hollywood insider stuff but this is why this is what i truly credit so much of my success to you and let me tell you why all right let me tell you because you were like you were probably like one of the first famous people on a giant tv show that i met when i came in and was actually friends like became real friends with and i lo i saw like oh if you're famous you like don't do drugs all the time you hang out with friends that aren't necessary you didn't hang out with only celebrities you had real friends from childhood you were on time at work like if i had literally linked up with any other famous person that at that time i would either be like dead or have like nine bastard children with harvey you're basically like oh being famous being a loser like yeah that was that was me yeah but not but instead by the way to this day but also there is a but but the fact that you have been so sustainab such a sustainable career and have such an amazing reputation like if i had linked up with any other dad at that time i would have been like oh you do drugs and you you know this i would have gone down the wrong path i learned from you like be responsible work have good friendships have a stable life go to outdoor screenings at the cemetery like we were like partying but we weren't like going people off camera rolling their eyes it does sound really nerdy yeah you're saying you were in your 20s in hollywood and you were doing all this no i'm telling you you had you were the star of one of the biggest shows on tv could have been going to any club or festival or doing whatever and we were doing healthy and being nerds and like making homemade ice cream and watching star wars it was very um i feel they're lucky yes i mean i do too uh i feel the same way about you and i also and a lot of people that were in that crew we kind of rolled around rolled around but we never left home with i could have very easily hooked up with a stephen door for uh um sure uh who else could have paulie sure whatever i should be so lucky i mean let's be honest i wasn't hot enough for him yeah let's not let's not get cocky it's not that i didn't try i did try numerous times um but i'm gonna tell you what i i'll return your comment with i i i really was careful about who i let into my circle because it was a weird time you know i that was my first acting gig someone had found me in a high school play so i was very what was the play the play was a funny thing happening in the forum but it was a really rinky dink version of it at uh boarding school whatever it was a long story but i a lot of kids on the show had never acted before and i was very careful about who i let in so it wasn't like um a coincidence that we were hanging out or you know i really wanted to be sure that the people who i knew something weird was happening or that it was you know like a like everyone talks to you like you're winning the lottery when you go i mean i mean i never acted i never auditioned for anything before but then when you're in it you go man this doesn't feel like the lottery uh you can't tell anyone because they're gonna be mad at you for it's you yes yeah exactly you complaining just sounds like bragging yes people but but i just knew like oh i just got to be really careful and there's so many cautionary tales i don't know why people aren't more careful but uh and i was i was just i was thinking about you because i've been talking i've been thinking about this or talking about this a lot about how so many actors have become so known for their off-camera life that no matter how good their acting is it's still hard to buy them as whatever character it's just like dude i mean it happened whatever this is opinion of my own it was like ben affleck everyone was like he's a great actor but when he was dating jennifer lopez anything he did you were like but you're dating jennifer lopez you're not married to connie burton like it was just like and uh when you played david duke i mean i even know you dude and i'm like if we knew any more about his personal life and how like kind and nice and normal there's a whole side that you didn't know that that really tapped into but i was able to tell you i was able to believe it i was like um and uh and so many actors don't understand that no matter how good their performances are if we know if you're too demystified we're just not going to buy your work let me tell you how i feel doing a podcast and about you telling me that because i'm so you'll as you'll see by the way your instincts about being private remember that you didn't have email till like four years ago i swear to god you did not have an email but you you say it and i'm very glad i did that because i loved acting so much and i didn't want people to know and i also loved my privacy so much but there was a family guy that i was watching i think my wife we weren't married at the time but she was in the room with me we were watching it and there's a scene where they say to uh peter you're flying on a private jet and it's like i don't know why he got some private jet to go somewhere they're like this is such an amazing private jet that it comes with a celebrity oh my gosh so i so tell for grace walks if someone else was doing my voice or something but this character you know it's me and uh family guy cartoon and he says hi i'm topher grace i'm a celebrity who comes with this jet and i i'll you know my life's an open book i'll tell you anything about me personally or career-wise ask any questions and peter goes no i'm good first of all great joke and also that's the flip side is like i have been so uh quiet about that stuff that it is like i am whatever the opposite of that ben affleck thing is like i am because i am that guy i really uh but there was a reason you were like i mean you did like traffic like like i love the work but i but i am so boring and only now that i'm in my 40s i'm like really comfortable with uh how boring aren't you psyched though with everything that's happening and all the people that are getting in trouble for this they did 15 years ago that you were like dude i was we all can bear witness that you were watching star wars and making cupcakes on a friday night yeah yeah yeah there's not even like a bottle service girl that could be like he was weird with me it's just like there's nothing that is the silver lining you know how boring i am yeah do you know about the actor that looks exactly like you don't don't talk about me let's talk about us i really mean i i'm here because i i am so i am so thrilled with the people that i connect with first of all when they've gone on to such success i mean you were not supposed to go on to this level of success i mean in your own opinion yeah and like none of us i remember some of the people we're hanging out with have gone on to such great things but it tickles me to be sitting here in this house and but you know what's cool i mean everyone in our that friend group i would say 70 percent i mean of that like eight people we were hanging out with are legitimately like at the top of their field and i don't think it's a coincidence that we were like kind and consistent and we had this like real uh this family like we built this little family we would hang out every i mean i didn't always go to the tapings i think i only went a couple times because i always felt like that was weird and i never wanted to seem like a star or something that was because you knew deep down you were going to be very successful that's what happens to people who i think are linda wallam ended up writing on my show eight years later yeah if she had seen me in your green room just like a chicken head like trying to meet celebrities there's something to that you know what i mean like i remember going it's serious i went to like uh when traffic came out i went to a party and i felt bad because i was it was one of those parties where everyone was like literally everyone i couldn't believe i could only tell people who wasn't there who was a celebrity wow you know what i mean like there were so many celebrities there i was like the only person i didn't see there was george clooney yeah but uh i left feeling rotten and it wasn't because i like wanted to be a big celebrity or something but it was because i went i wanted my work to matter more and yeah i'm sure that's the same thing you were feeling well i think also for me i mean i think my brain was always wired as a comedian and i and you have to you know for art to imitate life you have to have a life and when i would be around celebrities it all felt like artifice and it all just it all just felt like i'm trying to impress you or make you like me and i i'm not observing real human behavior because you guys don't know what real life is like you know you don't probably don't know how your atm code like you know so for me the hanging out with quote unquote normal or just not famous people it's just always way more interesting to me yeah because it's like i already know everything about you i have no questions for you i'm saying that's true yeah yeah we you can't relate to me i can't really achieve like but you did come you did come to a couple tapings i did come to a couple tapings and uh and i definitely credit seeing you on a multi-cam and like how cool that cast was with going when i did start making television shows being like you know i'm gonna do a multicam like there's so much more fun the energy is so great um you're putting on a little play yeah you know and but by the time i did it there was uh you were like a pariah if you made a multicam you like weren't cool you were like you know i was like they put my show like after the office or like the lead and for the aw i was gonna become another thing dude that was between like community in the office so it was like the cool kids would watch community and then i'd be like hey guys here's my jokes we thought about that on this show that i'm doing now which is what is the next thing because it's i think what happened was i'm gonna track this but i think this is what happened uh the larry sanders basketball one of the best i mean i think that's the first one and then the office from larry said the british office from larry sanders and then the american office from there and then modern family from the you know what i mean it was kind of all going to that document well and we can't forget the comeback i feel like the comeback god the comeback talk about linda he's yeah talk about linwood yeah mike sure was on the first season to come back so crazy but yeah because i think that although that show wasn't like you know now it's become i think bigger like everyone it's like sort of a sleeper hit um but uh and lisa kutcher should have gotten all the awards like it didn't she is she's it like we actually uh shout out to lisa kudrow who who didn't do our show but uh we wanted to have her come play a role on it and i thought we wanted to have someone who was like the like someone asked me like what is the biggest baller in terms of sitcom that's alive and i actually think it's lisa kudrow it's 100 lisa kudrow and i just got to do a pilot with her at amazon and it didn't go because uh we we we you did a pilot yes with lee daniels um and i created um and this didn't go it did not happen yeah well because a lot of these streamers now and so i'm so excited that you're doing a show on a network i i feel like we all we're all we're like networks they they don't let us do what we want we can't and then went to the streamers and the streamers were a creative haven for artists for maybe like two years but then yeah the pendulum swings then they realized they were making shows internationally immediately so all of a sudden your content had to appeal to china and america at the same time where it used to be we got to make eight seasons and then sell it everywhere else you know that's right and we were exporting american culture now it has to sort of work so also i think it's exclusive it's like uh streaming is and maybe something should be exclusive you know what i mean like certain um uh nightclubs you want to make them exclusive because people want to get in it makes it very cool but it kind of i think depends on the tone of the show some of them you really don't want them to be exclusive you want anyone who can get a tv for free to see it right but you and i have done that we've done the shows that appeal to everybody and check every quadrant so for me it was like you know which is like largely part of the reason that i'm kind of like taking time off of creating shows because i was like okay i've done the four quadrant ones like i got to do two multicams like i know how to do that i love that now i kind of want to do something that's more aligned with my taste and who i am as a comic and i had this deal with hbo and we made a pilot and it was like too edgy or two too edgy for hbo yeah they wanted to be more like whitney i love it well jenna jameson was in it this was what it was it was a show where um about a couple who out of nowhere the woman the female started making more money than the guy and it was about how he the power dynamic gets up and how did not um it's a documentary and basically of how uh it's emasculating by accident and then how she has to minimize herself and then um i wanted to really uh go into the biological basis for this in the biological basis so uh i wanted to do a device that showed what it was like how we actually get information now because i was sick of all these shows where it's like every time you need to find out information um it's like two girls at yoga class being like well you just need to get a makeover or they're like in spin class being like you know what you need to do you need to like spice it up in the bedroom it's like why like no one talks in exercise glasses what are you doing like they're doing you full yoga like upside down like you know what you should do and i was like i don't want to do this expository best friend role thing so what you would actually do is go you'd watch a ted talk right or you'd watch read a book or a self-help book or you go to a therapist or whatever so what i did was i had actual an actual neuroscientist in it as an actor who would everything would freeze if the character had a question and he would come in well like in a like in a annie hallway like he kind of talks about yeah like literally yes very much so um without the creepy behind-the-scenes behavior yeah i mean i i just watched that doc uh not uh yeah no i don't like any hollywood no but i also by the way i i have a very hot take on annie hall i used to be my favorite movie and going up back and watching it i am obsessed with diane keaton you are my hero to be fair that is not a feminist character at all only because she's wearing a [ __ ] vest dude she's so dumb in the movie she's flighty she's indecisive she's dating a guy who is wildly under her beneath her uh she's like in the la da very cute but it's like say what you're saying she's like man like she's like like uh flighty and ditzy and it's just like dude you're 35. pull this out she's 35 in it well in it yeah whatever 30 i don't know yeah i just felt like it was like looking back at it she's like a silly bimbo who can't put a sentence maybe played by a great actress you know i know what you're saying right like the characters the character is not what i thought it was like going back i'm like oh wow she like is she have tourette she's a stuttering problem why can't she say a word you know what i'm saying wait wait wait wait before how john and james how did that fit into the yeah so that because you had me at jenna jameson i'm ready to see the file this is based on a real thing that happened as soon as i started making money or i stand still it's never as much as you think like as soon as you're on tv people think you have a billionaire i wasn't really around you when you started making money i knew you i knew so much of the prequel of that that's actually a question i had driving here today was what was that because i knew you after two but and by the way who knows no one knows anyone when they're actually making money because you're doing so much work you don't see anybody that's right that's right but like but and you don't get to spend that because you're not you're just right you know what was that experience like because you were like a lot of your comedy came from like at that time that has to and then all of a sudden you're i mean you didn't you made real money because you had a piece of the thankfully uh my parents who both had strokes uh without health insurance and a couple family members that had to go into rehab immediately the ones that are eighty thousand dollars a month i wasn't i didn't really i made it i just didn't get to keep it my business manager was like dude i've never seen you forget forget the money money come in and go out so quickly i represent basketball players the station the station and how that changed how like what was that like emotionally for you because i'm sure it was really interesting but you know what's weird is that you again were in the back of my head like i learned a lot from you about how to manage things enough people gonna hear this this is the only time i've ever gotten compliments is this great when i first started making money i started giving it all away and i started forget the money i just mean you're changing in station okay this is important um i'm not gonna let you reject my compliment no no you're gonna receive it and you'll receive it good when i first started making money i had been so broke for so long and you guys had covered dinners for me i mean i used to go to din uh dinner with two of our friends jenny and dory and i shout out to jenny and dory oh my god still my besties and i sell my girls just great great people they're both in my book the shout out is the shout out is for um uh jennifer goodwin jennifer was one of the great actresses of our time and dorian is one of them look like she likes me for 15 years dory howard is one of the great humans of our time like just right here i just those people i'm so lucky aren't we so lucky we grew up around these people how gross so many people ended up like the fact that i got to come to hollywood and hang out with you and jennifer goodwin salted the earth and the kindest people you know you are lucky those are really great people like yeah yeah many times i would have been if i didn't meet you guys well i mean i think uh let's be honest here's what i always thought here's the thing okay let me for the listeners for the listeners of this show and the viewers of this show here's some stuff i want to set straight okay i want to set the record straight because whitney's always still crapping on yourself okay everyone that i all the guys that i knew wanted to hook up with you and i never danced which is crazy like we never even thought about it well it's frankly a little insulting no you weren't you weren't either let's just be honest here let's just never any sexual energy never a invader never a dru like we did new year's eve together we got wasted like never just a sloppy hook up like whoops we shouldn't have done that like but nothing in fairness all of my guy friends like tried to make a run at you and what's crazy to me fairness they're all [ __ ] nerds yeah i mean you probably shouldn't i'm not telling you you should have done it i'm not telling you but i couldn't believe the guys that you wouldn't get within the guys that you would get with like that like fair it's fair this is a fair criticism dude i one of dory's friends one of our friends called me out of nowhere one day and just was like can i set you up and i was like what do you mean no i'm dating someone he's like what is it with you in these shady guys you're always some shady guy that none of us have ever met who's like in their late 40s who's like like we don't we can't even meet them and like you know i was very sketchy with my relationship life but but i'm not attracted to healthy people you're gonna say i'm sure you talk a lot about your past and these terrible guys over but there were so many guys who wanted to be with you you were you were a hot commodity i mean i was also like a idiot well sure i'm not i'm not denying that at all but that looks bad but i mean like let's be honest they just i think you probably paint yourself like you were even at the time you were like uh your whole thing is like you're so down yourself you couldn't get a date and i was like everyone wants to get with you and you were you were just very like you were dealing with all your stuff but i just know i was just like my definition of a healthy relationship was like being with some narcissist who had three other girlfriends and lied all that you know i mean like i was addicted to the adrenaline of toxic relationships and so anything that was healthy and if if anyone was interested in me it was like grossed me out i i thought i had to chase i i wanted uh men that like gave me adrenaline and i conflated uh so a lot of people a lot of people at that age with passion and it was really just fear and i was dating really toxic uh abusive people and drug addicts and stuff like that and your friends were all healthy and well adjusted and i was like no thank you i couldn't receive love at the time but you but you did through the women who were in that group called friends and they were and that's wonderful because uh that's where it starts i guess right yes for sure i mean ginny and dory taught me how to be a human being just because they were so healthy i don't have chapters on them well you might get confused because i did change uh ginny's name to jenny i won't be able to follow that at all yeah it doesn't make any sense i really wanted to uh protect her uh anonymity in this and then dory oh dory i think it's just named dory oh look at that my education about breasts was an episode of who's the boss i i mean the references are very i'm just gonna skip just to those chapters yeah i do i talk about uh getting my uh uh breast implants and not telling anyone when i first made money and i went to some guy by the airport because i didn't know how where to even go i was too embarrassed to ask anyone and none of my friends got breast implants because they're too normal and healthy so i didn't have any friends that knew and i i literally i went to beverly hills drove to bedford which is like the there's roxbury and bedford which are all these like fancy doctors the spot to get them i walked up and down and just read the doors you know there's like writing of the doctors on each door and i just was like cosmetic surgery and i just called and then he said great come in tomorrow never get surgery from a surgeon that's available tomorrow this is what i want to say this is an example of whitney saying i i didn't have it together everyone loved you everyone thought you were great and the reason that we probably never had a thing is because so many of my guy friends tried and failed for whatever reason and then you were still friends with him that's what was so great that's that's interesting but anyway i just want to paint a picture whenever you're hearing all these stories about whitney's past and look at this i'm sure this book is full of them too first stop ruining my brain you're you're exactly you were uh you had your stuff together i mean i think i was at my best when i was around you in that crew you guys didn't bring out the best in me but i think that that really did prepare me uh as maybe pathological as it was or weird as it was or um uh fake as it felt or whatever um it did prepare me for the comedy store hallways of 30 male comics hitting on me or flirting or and i was like able to just be like boom boom i was able to like turn things platonic yeah you gotta have that's what you have to do if people ask me about why i was so private then i actually i'm not as private now just no one cares you know like you care about what's going on in a good way and people care at the right time not at the wrong time they care when you have something coming out that's when you want the attention that's right not when you're walking down the street with a friend and they're like oh she's cheating like that's what you want but you gotta have especially if you're going through a it's i mean your work should be more interesting than your life or else you're a reality star i agreed with all that but on top of it i think you need to have a home base when you're younger now i mean i have a home base you know what i mean i'm like married i have kids but at the time i think there's that really dangerous age when you're in your and you're saying you had at the commie store you had like a home base mm-hmm so you knew you know i don't have to be with this guy like you know like because you had friends some like i think if you feel that home base you're you're inoculated a little bit against some of that totally and it's a skill to not you eat i mean it's a skill you have to learn for self-preservation you know you never did it you never dated one person that you ever worked with i did date i did date i have not dated a stand-up comedian ever ever wow okay crystally and i never dated what is the definition of dating right now um it's good you know it's a good question because even when you said hook up i was like is that i think that means sex now i don't even know what these kids call it anymore but you know what you really did just in terms of going back to what happened with money you had a very uh i don't know primordial instinct or just from on a cellular level maybe you had made mistakes in your life with money one time we were at i believe the magic castle we went to a lot of matches pretty nerdy in this one yeah no no it's a strip club the magic gun did i say i meant jumbo's clown room sorry we were at like the magic castle or something we were we were going to magic castle we were at the pirate restaurant whitney what are you doing no we were there for the cafe disneyland we're like you know like the kids are going to like the medieval times and no they were going to shelter and drink club dream and all those club wet whatever the nightclub's names were here and uh shout out to hartwell um and uh and something happened where you had to go and you didn't pay you're like you always paid but this was like we were have been friends for years i don't i don't think i i don't know if i paid the bill or something maybe i had already done that lexus campaign because i did one campaign where i made money and uh you had to run out it was it was melissa jenny it was for melissa goodwin's birthday and oh yes oh man i can't i don't think i know to this day that i didn't pay no no no no you did you tell him you left 10 minutes later we were like oh tofu just covered tofu you called and we're like i'm coming back i need it and you were so intent on paying it was like four your bit was like 40 and you were like no i'm on my way and you got really serious about it and i was like dude just pay next time you're like no no i'm headed back and like you came back and paid and i thought about that and i was like i've thought about that a lot in my life because i it took me a long time to learn that when you um money makes relationships toxic and well this is i mean segway the show i'm on right now is literally just about these three siblings and money and i and it's it's what you're trying and in doing press for it i'm like people are asking me like should we talk about money yeah should we not it's the only taboo anymore besides race and money the most uncomfortable i can say what's your favorite way to what's your best lay like and you can say that how much money do you make i'm trying as you see when i arrived here i was like yeah how much are you worth this house incredible like i want to start talking about it more because it has to not be a thing that's why i wanted to do roseanne because that was always my favorite show because they talked about money yeah they talked about everything on that the the original show i mean like did that pilot going mind blowing yeah you can't pay week and how money makes things up and the fact that your show is about that and that's what i tried to do with two broke girls and i think that's part of the reason it did well because there was nothing that a story always had to be about money b's story could be about relationships but a story was always how we're going to pay our taxes how are we going to get this loan back how are we going to pay for this uh you know cavalry it's not real like everyone's not going through it in the world it's the only thing with stakes at this point it's the only thing everyone has in common and yet yeah it's this weird thing not talking about it but yeah i hope uh i hope some of these shows because i was watching it and just i mean and it it hit me because as you know someone that came from a family without a lot of money and then i started making it it's i it's destroyed a lot of my relationships with my family members it's a lot of you think you're better than me what and then if i do loan the money then they're like oh you think just because you loan me money and i'm like no like there's no strings attached for me but it's hard to do healthy giving but i'm obsessed with that show even just uh your show i can't wait to see it at home economics what a genius title what a genius title these guys the writers are who are they it's uh mike colton and john a boot and it's like a oh do you know what excuse me you do know calling a bird yeah yeah that's funny sorry yeah i used to do best week ever with colton in a boot on vh1 well they're they're they're even more than that i mean well no that's all been downhill from there clearly i was with them in their glory days when we would don't talk about it when we would make 500 a week uh doing one-liner jokes about b-list celebrities on vh1 i forgot that you did that i mean i i'm sure i think i met them because i was a josh dumel and i for movie would do with jennifer goodwin were on the hot chicken movie no win a date with todd hamilton well what did you think it was called there was hot [ __ ] there was chicken in it right she worked at a chicken right now chinese worked in a chicken restaurant in a movie no no i she for sure was worked in a fast food restaurant that movie no she worked through like uh can i have a piggly wiggly that's right okay i have you know what else i have not seen a lot of what my famous friends have done and i think that's a good thing well i'm not asking you to watch that movie no i won't don't worry no it's a beloved movie but i i it's not beloved i know it is the guy that knew the guy that i'm dating he goes he's like uh i was like yeah tofu for tomorrow he's like dude from when a date he calls it win a date which is no way that happened i'll call him right now i will tell you one thing when i met my wife she was she's 10 years younger than me and she was in whatever the the small demographic at i mean if i was if that movie count was 24 she was 14. and that was like she never seen 70 show but that was the movie that she and to this day she thinks it's the best thing i've been in and she loves it no people love that it is not the best movie okay you okay just like how you debunked my version of my past you are wrong about this no i can bring in some reviews of that movie that'll prove that i'm right um okay we have a little surprise for you if i can get myself together i love this one to get it all right we're gonna facetime someone can they see me uh yes i think that's the goal let's see let's see oh what the [ __ ] hello this isn't a surprise i mean there's a surprise but this isn't like uh from my deep past no it's not from your d-pass it's from your deep future i didn't know that uh this wasn't gonna be yeah next sorry uh how do you guys know each other is it from the comedy scene yeah i appropriate her culture regularly sashir is sure i'm doing press for this and this week i have been so sappy about you guys like i really no i mean you know the vibe there like we're all feeling it but then to say it feels really icky it's like so true it's just so earnest you know like you know what's amazing about this could have for any other group of people could have gone horribly like to just facetime someone's castmate like most of them don't get along like this that's such a genuine like hey you're the you're here you got that email from hr part is the new funny people like they like and home economics has both we were just talking about home economics what a what a coincidence you're so good on it i've now seen more episodes than you you are so about it but it was like three in the morning when i saw you last what was your audition experience did you audition with with toe for sure no i just said so it's an offer okay wow i'm still having to screen test four times so we did we did get your calls about being on the show with me but it was kind of like sorry we went a different way you know maybe season four i'm like don't you need a loud rich apple isn't that what the brother is like shouldn't i already got one of those yes wait because i have whitney tell me about like sashir is said you're such an enigma like you you first i i didn't feel like i knew you until like halfway through and then yeah you kind of revealed yourself to me that's cause she doesn't like you oh is that what it was yeah no no no not at all no uh i can't remember how it came up but i i'm i'm sarcastic and blunt but i wasn't doing that with you because i just didn't know you that well and then you asked about it or i was like oh yeah i i can be pretty blunt and you're like really and then i started doing like being nice because we're co-workers and you're very supportive but i love that that's fascinating because i feel like i get i hang out with comedians so much in podcasts that i've totally lost my ability to like communicate with like no and i'll go into a set and i'll be like hey i'm like oh you can't do that anymore like so i just like try to shut up and sit in a chair and not get sued yeah i well i'm like i don't really help people out when i'm sarcastic i just like say something and i'm like good luck figuring that out so i don't i try not to do that and work all the time because i don't people being like does she hate me or you know like just like not knowing but now i know i i now i know you know i do hate you you do for sure hate me on a daily basis i that we got such a great got such a great vibe on that thing like that's all i know i feel so lucky it's like really rare i mean i genuinely like everyone there and it feels right it also shows in the work i watched like the trailer last night i haven't seen um uh all of it but it was like the chemistry it looked like season four it's like when you're dating the odds of you having a chemistry with someone are so bad and you just gotta keep dating it's like and the worse it gets the more you have to keep it and then at some point you actually although this is like five people connecting is so it's just so rare yeah so right it's so rare all right go go do your thing i'm sorry i love you and we just were talking about the show because it looks amazing and it's a destroyer cast thank you i'm so glad thank you for asking okay stop stealing my thunder see you next week stop being funnier than me thank you the best we now take a break in this lovely stroll down memory lane uh and one that proves that i am actually the age that i am thank god the only reason i brought topher grace here today um to talk to you about alo fresh shalom fresh i love hellofresh bonjour fresh i get it delivered right to my little house i made i think i made this point i made every meal oh that's awesome oh no no but i had hellofresh come to the house the other day the vegetables were so crisp and delicious they're amazing meals they're ready in 20 minutes or less very feminist it's this is a way to be in the kitchen as a woman but also have stuff to do and they already give you the meals they give you the recipes everything's set up for you and my lover whipped up the most delicious pot it was like a pasta alfredo ginoki it was is amazing gnocchi can go to hellofresh.com good for you 12 and use code good for you 12 for 12 free meals including free shipping go to hellofresh.com good for you 12 and use code good for you 12 for 12 free meals including free shipping america's number one mill kit you'd be a [ __ ] not to get this that's their slogan look this is i'm not gonna lie to you guys we've got many lights in here we're basically shooting this podcast on the surface of the sun because it makes me look younger you guys always think that i'm glowing at sweat i know what is that shimmer you're using that's pure and but most deodorant i stopped wearing deodorant like six or seven years ago i noticed because she had to move states i quit because i was trying to get you to quit and you just wouldn't go now i use this because not only does native includes ingredients you've actually heard of that you can pronounce if you can coconut oil shea butter mm-hmm and almost everything is vegan and nothing is tested on animals love it you can try native risk free as well temperatures starch can you eat i love pudding make the switch to native today by going to nativedo.com whitney or use promo code whitney at checkout and get 20 off your first order that's nativedeo.comwhitney or use promo code whitney at checkout for 20 off your first order and if you don't buy native you stink i was like nervous going in because i was like you know whatever especially if you've done one before it's as you should be and i i was straight up cocky two days into it i was like oh my god i don't even have to do anything like it was such a click i don't mean like a click with a cue i mean like it just clicked like we really um i could just tell and then you know what's crazy is the pilot's i'm really proud of it but it just gets so much better if you have that kind of chemistry well i always say the pilot is the worst episode it should never be it kind of is yeah that's the one where you're figuring things out and you're like making mistakes and it's informational you have to say this character is this this person yes yes by the time how's life been since you're divorced i know it's like you have to do such cumbersome like no one talks like that you know but but the the i mean it's so magic it's weird because i think every project people come in and say it's magic and the cast is really like a family and you know what but like truly on this one i was uh can i ask you a question this is just a uh not i mean because this is like uh you strike lightning when something like this happens when a cast just clicks like roseanne had it um beth i had it with crystal leah but i mean we had been friends before um where uh uh uh beth bears and kat denning's had it on two birth girls yeah they really you know yeah that's a great example like and they were actually best friends in real life and it just but it's also a way that you're surfing the laugh and like your timing and the connection it's like building attention yeah it's like it's it's like when sex just works i i don't know it's one of those like it is very similar to dating in that sense and um and it's and when it's when it's like more than two people like that's hard to find chemistry with two people you're just jumping off a cliff with a bunch of people and you have no idea if it's going to work or people get insecure they get jealous or they because i think that sometimes when you get on a set when there's fear involved people just regress to their inner child state and they recreate their childhood circumstances that's why people can be awful sometimes yeah can we get some of this food yes yes i eat while i'm doing this apologies to the audience you should be so lucky to hear topher grace eat a fried chicken sandwich okay this is gonna be on pornhub there are people who tune in just to see you do this i'm telling this should also actually go up on the only fans i feel like this is going to get this is called a mukbang eat it with your feet yeah i do have a perfect score on wiki feet um five out of five oh wiki feet is they judge your feet they judge your feet yeah oh yeah yeah which is uh kind of a big deal thank you mama um uh i have a perfect score on wiki feet and so let me let me put the conversation let me direct the conversation a little bit i think i was there the first night you did stand up is that right at embar yeah holy sh you were there the first night i did stand up and so was my dad by the way um let me tell you something i can only say this because you become literally a name comedian like you're like uh like i've seen specials with you yeah you were bad that first night dude like that i was just like i think you mean to say terrible i was just like i know nothing about the comedy world that was like my first time in mbar so or what is m cafe bar which was on vine and fountain which is now uh another place i didn't get it i didn't get the people test out material or what was it i thought no i thought it was good i wasn't testing it i thought that was my final product after testing it many times uh in my mirror testing it no but here's what the biggest mistake i made and this is probably the reason i stopped like we stopped hanging out a lot because i was just like embarrassed for 10 years but like when you your first time you do stand back i gotta invite all my friends oh my god stupid stupid that's what happened you know and richie went up and did better than you oh dude richie okay our good friend richie keane brilliant brilliant director the bit he used to do that was [ __ ] brilliant is he had a joke about um when he would go to starbucks and there were zucchini muffins and he had this joke about the guy that has to cut the zucchini every morning knowing that no one's gonna eat but no one gets the zucchini muffins and it was just like it was such a random like amazing observation and i thought about that a lot like gary goldman you know does that incredibly well where he can do 40 minutes on sugar cookies gaffing you can do 50 minutes on hot pockets but i like i always think about that bit going like everywhere you are you can find something funny about the person that made this thing you know like i think about it so he had not done stand-up for about seven or eight years ago okay we're going back to this yeah still went up uh-huh and kind of crushed and i remember thinking like a whitney's like like women aren't funny i knew it i remember i remember just singing you uh actually you know what i'll tell you honestly because that's kind of like the funny anecdote version but i remember watching you um figure no no i mean some of that but like figure out your thing and it's actually when you see when someone becomes an artist with it which is what you become and you're actually i mean like books and tv shows and you know whatever it's really a interesting thing to watch someone find their voice i mean i don't that's not something i have to do in my career is like find my it's like i have to do a different thing every time whatever but to watch you kind of like try because first basically you were doing what people do at mbar with us and like telling us jokes and some of them would go well and not and then you collected those and brought them in bar and then collected those and brought and like to watch the process and then i remember when i saw the first like billboard for one of your specials i was like what the [ __ ] i mean it was like what the [ __ ] was comedy central thinking no no i was like they had to they had to meet the girl quota thank god for these diversity higher mandates this is what you're doing but the truth is i was like oh that's what hard work is like you like you know what i mean like not like you were someone you were very funny person but i was like oh this is where it goes from where the rubber meets the road you know where it goes from being i don't know comedians i mean i know a couple from growing up and i didn't know any of them as well as you and it that's where it goes from you know like like like kind of around like we all think we can be a comedian when you watch right to like oh this like she worked down you finally got one minute which probably was well after the the five minutes i saw and then you got five minutes i mean that's how it goes right and then you were doing an hour right it was it's one of the only businesses you know louis ck i think is who puts this the most eloquently like where you succeed by failing like every night you fail like there's no like like seinfeld goes out and fails somewhere right of course all the time because they're going crazy and but he fails for slightly different reasons than a younger comic would fail he might fail because someone's like i've already heard this joke or or you know because they just saw it if you try stuff in front of a crowd or they'll go like yes i we just want to hear you talk about this that like there's more expectations maybe he knows if a joke's gonna work before he tells it at his station i think so like i mean when he was i mean he did that documentary comedian where uh uh in the documentary he does like five sets a night or something and one of the uh clubs he's not doing as well as he should be doing and he's like what do you guys know about comedy like how like i like this is a great joke like i know that like you guys are failing here you know so at every level you do because either number one your fans expect something from you or the bar is even higher for you so so i think there a lot of comedians try to kind of coast on their fame for me it's completely the opposite they're like who's this i see everywhere like you better be funny you have to almost be twice as funny because people already experienced to be funny you really are a uh uh you're a part of that wave you know and uh uh women who are getting into comedy now should be should understand what it was like back then it was really different and people think i i this probably comes off very sexist and not like woke or whatever the most embarrassing word um in the english language all of a sudden but um uh a lot of girls like young comics that have been doing it two or three years or like the company stores toxic and they don't let like i should you know why aren't i getting spots in the main room like because you're not good yet and you should not be doing that yet like you my biggest regret almost is i sort of was seen too soon as a stand-up before i was ready i was certainly funny i had a funny you said that back then or you said no no no back then i'm like i deserve it right now and you know you get one chance to make that first impression and you know gary shandling told me one time you can never make it too late as a comedian as an actress you can probably never make it too early make it too late never such a great question think of our greatest community i mean ronnie dangerfield made it at 68 or something like 55 or something he was playing 68 yeah the whole time right because he had a life and he had a point of view being a comedian is all about having a point of view and surprising opinions and life experiences just let me think rodney dangerfield's wife is like shut the [ __ ] up or was he even married i mean like i don't even know i don't know but there are famous stories about every meeting he would take he would wear a robe and open his legs and his balls would hang out during the meeting and if someone but not in a sexy way you know like as a joke i mean it depends on what you're into i guess if you're into necrophilia maybe um and uh uh you know is it when you're starting out like you're just getting comfortable on stage nothing you say is interesting or true it's as a woman at the time all you would do is sex stokes to try to like neutralize yourself or make yourself unsexy or ugly or or you're trying to make the comics in the back laugh like you go really like i mean i had just like abortion jokes i used to do this like my first step i used to do this joke that i was like i've never been because i don't say no like i'm unbelievable like i did all this crazy she said hey i want the audience to take themselves back to my youth i'm not a comedian i don't even really know comedians and whitney comes over with some of my friends who also like oh no i mean we we had fun but we weren't trying and you're like cracking jokes like that i'm going like the [ __ ] this girl talking about and then after a while i was like you know some of these are like really funny but like like it's 2 30. we're at brunch on a sunday what do you do with that interview but uh it was like armor for me it was like by the way aggressive because you and i had some great talks that were that were not that were you you know what i mean what i thought was like oh this is like hard work over a period of time and i don't you know people don't see the work in comedy i'm sure they do on this podcast but like the work it takes to get to a place where you have something that is a machine like that you know ellen sitcom is one of my favorite sitcoms ever um the first signal the first to come it's [ __ ] excellent i haven't watched that dude she did some that was so wild first of all it was there's an extra level of how funny it is because she was playing a straight person for seoul i mean she literally dates jeremy piven on the show like says it all right it's so funny in so many ways now but she was always in like a sundress and like sneakers like looking back now it's just so funny yeah a lot of sun dresses that's all i remember i got to go watch that show again there was one so when friends started i mean i love sitcom history and i'm just obsessed with it but um when uh janine garofalo one of my favorite people on the planet uh i was with bert christopher yesterday and i said who's your number one hall pass number one hall pass your wife would never get mad you could pick anyone he's like janine garofalo and we like went into a deep dive and i was like i forgot she's amazing dude she was so [ __ ] hot and she was she's on ellen yes and i'll tell you this this episode but like for like a guest star thing or something she was a guest star but uh jeannie groffalo remember when she played like the ugly friend on cats and dogs [Music] it's just so wild to look back and be like what remember bye bye love she was so good invite she was like the grumpy dude reality bites excuse me excuse me can i tell you who's the baller oh sorry i could go no please don't shoot me don't do it we do not shoot guests oh all right is uh i've really been thinking about ben stiller's filmography as a director dude and he is like people don't give that guy i mean he gets plenty of respect because he's so famous as an actor people forget just reality bites alone that's just one of my top 10 favorite movies of all time i'm sorry dude the ben stiller show like i grew up being obsessed with that i did i love walter mitty by the way i think that's like an unheralded light and and tropic thunder but yeah he's just some of the stuff he's doing now is like he's dude that's that what's the one on show time with uh escape from patricia or cat right escape i mean dude he's like also bless his [ __ ] heart award shows are so boring i know he does it every time he comes out and kills dude every time he kills shows even the golden globes which was just like an awkward festival of weirdness he crushed you with that banana bread he came in with like a banana bread he committed i think about this he he i had to go around and do all those i had to i was i was psyched to do it with black klansmen but you have to go to like you know 20 shows or something and each one i'm talking like the writer's guild associate shows up and crushes and he's like it's sag things that aren't even televised i don't know if he writes with someone or if he just sits there and does it but it's like yeah things aren't even televised he's crushing every single time let me tell you this let me tell let me do you one better uh ben stiller when i won the not the people's choice award like the um young oh young hollywood award oh yeah was that is that like movie line i don't i don't know movie line the young like dot org not calm what i want i think it was a razzy let's be honest um when i went out young hollywood the comedian of the year like bright smile awards literally just like something like just a fake award show that was like at someone's house um and i hosted it and they're like who do you want to present you with the award i hosted the young hollywood awards and then i won best comedian they probably just gave it to me because they're like she's already here um and they're like who do you want to present to you and i literally was just like well i mean like ben stiller and he showed up and did it he wrote a speech where he read some of my tweets like oh like he'd done research on it like but yeah like the tweets at my tweets at the time were like pretty wild did he kill too um like uh there was one tweet that was um this was after two girls one cup came out and i did i guess i tweeted that day the best part of waking up is two girls in one cup and he likes sang that tweet and like it was just so he he just shows up so hard i actually did a pilot with him i got cast in that pilot with john goodman uh and justin bartha called the station that was about um david wayne ended up directing it actually and i believe i got fired um or recast i'm pretty sure i i was recast um and uh and stiller produced it uh and was there every day and was just like just he's just such a dreamboat i remember talking to busy phillips once about this and i was like ben stiller like why shouldn't he take a break or a vacation like i just was like you're at the top of the world why why does he keep doing three movies a year and she was like well that's why he's on top of the world i was just like like dum-dum that's right let me ask you something because as someone that i know you're not gonna let me give you this compliment um but as truly like the the catch of hollywood like you i think you're like the catch of hollywood and if you're if you're a sane person we've gotten into like a fictional territory yeah no no i'm serious um uh in terms of like you is my he's coming from a girl who i hung out with a lot and never tried to make a pass of me well because i was very creeped out by famous people at the time like i just was like i i very much you know we both had some kind of understanding but you know that i'm super into animal rescue and that was it i hated animals he just i hate him dude one time i watched him um big hunter i watched him hit a kitten with a golf club and i said you said why did you do that i mean tears are running on your face because i can because the golf club was there because i've just built my taxidermy room um no i no there but i was scared of celebrities i very much saw celebrities at the time and i still kind of do as like sort of trapped people that everyone wants a lot from and i never like like i get really uncomfortable when people um use choke collars on dogs and ride horses a certain way because they're trapped and there's nothing and like being objectified and um in all fairness the horse didn't like try out a bunch of times to try to get the reins on you know what i mean for the job yeah i mean you know the horses three producers the horse saw what uh what happened to other horses and still decided to put the reins on so you know not a great example benton i don't have a lot of friends but i have a lot of fiends i would never i am very relieved that i am your best friend not your best feed i would not want to be on your bad side you want to you want to be on my best fiends list though because my little dudes are leveled up my little creatures my little bugs they are leveled up listen best fiends is a it's free to download first of all it's a puzzle game for your little brain you know what it is it's like you fight slugs one of the few things that doesn't make me feel like my brain is atrophying you're not getting stupider it's so fun and engaging it's a puzzle yes when you're waiting for like 20 minutes when you're like in la waiting um four months to get a vaccine uh you it's played in line it is a healthy diversion on my phone that keeps me yeah you can't put into positive choices you can't put it down it has over 100 million downloads yeah people love it okay yeah i mean why do they need it it's for everyone it's for hardcore gamers for casual gamers it's something to do that'll make you better in the long run because you're exercising your noodle download best fiends free today on the apple store or google play that's friends without the r best fiends i am a psycho when it comes to betting like i am the princess and the pee shocker which is crazy because i did not grow up with fancy like my mattress that is like the first thing i spent money on as an adult and betting and comforters i like to spend days and days in bed crying and i need it to be a soft place to land everything at brooklyn is quality the comforters the sheets the pillowcases the loungewear the but the towels but here's my thing i hate being cold at night which is why i need a super warm comforter but when i slip in i want the sheets to feel cold and the pillow to feel cool and then it'd be warm these these uh comforters they feel like the hug from the dad that would have loved me brook linen has 75 000 five star reviews so if you don't believe us believe you know 75 000 this is the only thing the internet has agreed to like treat yourself to ultimate comfort with brooke lennon's comforter collection go to brooklyn.com and use promo code whitney to get 25 off with a minimum purchase of a hundred dollars that's dot b-r-o-o-k-l-i-n-e-n.com and enter promo code whitney for twenty five dollars off with a minimum purchase of a hundred dollars that's brooklyn.com promo code whitney emily didn't wing for once dean what happened the catch of hollywood let's get back to that that's where i'm going yeah so i'm obsessed with and i've done it with most of our guests like guys especially um why your current wife like what was different about her i always want to give the fans especially like the female fans like like why her you could have had anyone or you could have had a lot of people and i'm con i'm absolutely to say i'm obsessed i know why because i've met her and it's very clear to me why she's the one but why for you what was different what you know because and i also want to ask you about red flags because you have such uh sagacious like antenna with people you do that is true i'm good at no even now when i meet people i have another dating you know like i just can't handle that i get a weird feeling about this guy you're so well with a couple you know on like a couple dates yeah i'll be like nah we're not gonna do that yeah yeah but you have a you have an intuition that i've always really admired as someone that surrounded myself with toxic people over and over again and just seemingly cannot stop you are always so good about like i mean even i mean the the fact that we're gonna a boot like i mean those are the yeah they're great guys they're great guys best people um why her when did you know man it i always i'm going to talk about it with you because you're my friend i always hesitate to talk about it because i and she would love me to talk about it so it's not like she has a problem with me talking about her this is being of service to the girls in their 20s right now they're like why doesn't that guy like me i puked in his honest who cares i'll tell you a story about my wife and i never talk about it but the first thing i saw you guys together it was like it was so weird because you're you're such a unified team like you you came to a party it was the first time i met her and you guys were like cracking each other up yeah yeah she's like very funny you guys were like in a little cocoon but still being social but you didn't you know uh dart and separate you like still wanted to hang out does that make sense yeah no it does i mean it's a big part of um well on a gut level i remember i dated some people that i that i liked but weren't um i don't know if i had this i felt like i was entertaining them a lot oh jesus and she is uh my wife is really funny i she doesn't care to be uh funny to other people the way you and i do yeah you know what i mean like she's not like she doesn't need to perform out of insecurity and it's not like no it's not like she's always on i don't think anyone's ever cracked me up as much in my life and then on top of that okay well now you're just being hurt i mean i mean her first night to talk you know what listen to her first night in mbar she killed it and it was like off the dome she hadn't even prepared anything she's the first woman i ever met that made me laugh she went to two different people's houses to not because i don't want to say who it was but one of them was like you know like your good friend kevin spacey yes and you know what's happened with him is just tragedy yeah i can't and i want to use the rest of my time your best friend brian singer yeah and oh like him too no i uh i uh just want to say i'm kidding but um we went to like uh this house that was in between like bono and oprah's house and it was lovely and i was like i've been to some mansions in my time but i was like holy [ __ ] this is like incredible and then we went to another house on the same day and it was like a normal house on a kind of like a cul-de-sac where we had kind of left our car and as we were driving home uh this was out of town she was like um i was talking about that mansion i mean i was like i can't believe it in the view and then she said no offense but that's the kind of house that i want and i was like whoa uh whoa like i mean i would have to do some things really differently in my career to and i also just thought that's too bad she kind of wanted she said no no the house by the cul-de-sac the one that was like and i was like oh what do you like like i i didn't think it was right that she wanted that big a mansion but i also was like what do you mean like a house at a you know like that let's not be let's not be ridiculous i'm still tougher graves and she and she kind of walked me through it and i was like oh my god this person just naturally has this philosophy that is um that money doesn't buy any of these things and i and i'm not valuable to her in that way you know amazing and and she wasn't i mean she's like cuz i want to save all your money for plastic surgery she she has certainly spent uh not on plastic surgery she has grown more accustomed to spending my money but uh she is um she i like at her core i really think that's like she's just real that's just one of them she's like real beliefs about things that have kind of changed me in terms of like um i guess i thought you you knew me i wasn't like you said i was good with money or whatever but i always thought like oh if you have this much you should spend this percentage of it and it's uh the right thing to do it's only this percent and then i realized like oh but then if you have like 100 billion dollars you got to have like a huge house or something and i realized no i you know that like changed me into like wait what really actually makes me happy and she's done that to me in in so many ways uh probably without her knowing it but you know just to hang out with someone just the way you and i changed each other yeah knowing each other you know you know these people and then you heard bill murray say it's like we're uh we're all um like meteoroids or something like just kind of like yeah headed to each other and then we connect and we forever change the trajectory of ourselves from having connected you know and i remember thinking though i remember like i definitely met a ton of girls that you had dated and ignored and i always was like dude he's never gonna find someone smart enough for i was always like i literally was like he's so because he's so successful and ostensibly you know wealthy and all that kind of stuff um and i was like he's just gonna attract the wrong kind of people and that's so sad because that's not what he wants you know yeah that's true i had a moment where i was like can i ask how you met oh we met at a charity event wow at um like a like i was there more in a kind of like celebrity way and she was she was there for real if she had proposed to you no there was a thing that happened with us early on where i was like early on it was like we were definitely in it probably saying i love you and stuff and then she said i i was saying something like you know if we get married and have kids about some house we're gonna buy or something or she was like look we're obviously getting married have kids so just like and i was like oh okay didn't know you follow it but i also was like oh yeah of course we knew you know and she said like i work in charity you're a charity case so obviously with me together i can take care of you you might make a wish i'm trying to make you like a good person but she um she she did say as a caveat to that like look if something goes wrong we won't but let's just operate like we are going to because it'd be stupid to kind of dance around like who knows if we're gonna dude that is she is my for that that is so awesome yeah i agree and so i to answer your question if she had after that point said we should get married or presented me with a i don't know a ring and it's kind of a bill for the ring and the bill for the reign that's what it is it's just a bill in a circle this is the bill for her ring right put on my finger but she was uh i think i would have been fine with it i mean the only thing that would mess it up is like i was worried about like what does she want me to do so in that sense i understand what you're going through because you go it's a weird pop i just feel like i'm obsessed with friends of mine um who uh or guys i know when they get engaged because i have a lot of guy friends and i do feel like guys it's their last opportunity to be in charge of something in a way that is more true than you like you know what i mean this is your last hurrah of being in charge of a decision and planning it fully yourself let me tell you what happens when you get down on one knee like i was always like oh this would be fun traditional thing people do this i never thought about it you're so [ __ ] up all day you got this ring in your pocket i didn't get that term you know it's burning a hole in your pocket i was like i gotta get this thing off of me that's so expensive here's the other thing but i think that actually a couple of my guy friends maybe that are way less emotionally uh well adjusted than you kept the ring way longer and waited a longer time to propose because i i think it's like the closest you can ever feel to being like in a jewelry heist yeah you get to like hide a ring and you're carrying a ring and you get to like i thought she was going to find out and it was going to ruin her where did you hide it you know i had in my pocket like it was you bought it and proposed the same day no no no no no no oh my god it was a whole thing that tells me everything i need to know about your credit i was doing a i was doing a movie in australia and the whole thing was was crazy i had to have it shipped to my folks house which was a mistake because my parents were then like really in on it they pawned it no no it was over she came home for christmas i think and over her shoulder my mom was like when you do that they make sure you get some pictures and i was like mom like she's hearing you like by the way and the fact that this is how you think pictures were taken you mean by when it happened i was so nervous it was good that i was gonna ruin her story for life by not but doing it right or whatever and then when you they're like for grace couldn't act like he knew how to do it no way he's an amazing actor no no no no no and you've proposed to people in movies i feel like i have proposed to someone on film before and i was much better at it this was like i was so nervous and it's so real and then the act of get this is what i will warn you is the act of getting down on one knee is really um like there's i didn't understand the emotional like thing behind it but you're you're basically like bowing down to someone and and for good reason you know what i mean it's making yourself so vulnerable yeah yeah that's what it was i was so i was not prepared for how i mean i was prepared i would feel vulnerable because i was asking someone but it's also this thing we've seen in every movie for all of time princess bride like it's so ingrained in our head like like just seeing a man get down on one knee is just this like we're so conditioned by that to be this is the most important moment of your life i think it'd be great if i don't think anyone would care i don't think any guy you should be with should care if you propose to him if it's right the the fear i always had was is this a hundred percent the right time in the right way the two stories i'll tell you is my wife's getting such a kick out of this i just never wind up talking about this stuff is she um actually i'm gonna tell you that first story the second part the second story is um is that i will talk to you because you know what she'll like it so much she um i was like uh some joke she said you know you joke about proposals kind of before it happened like way before it happened and i was like you're ever lucky enough to get her you know propose to and she's like i've been proposed to and i was like oh okay and the invite's still open okay and that was a you gave that person a no so like how did that work out i want to know that whole story and then the second story was i forgot i'll come back what were you asking for oh don't pretend you first no no i really did forget it was uh but here's my thing about a lot of guys i know overthink it like i have one friend this is real and i actually still want to make this a movie about it um i just what's a movie um i a friend of mine went on a cruise with his girlfriend's family oh boy and said i'm going to propose on the cruise i'm like great just do it on the last day just do it on the last day i you're whitney you're so negative you're stitching i'm like just do it on the last day i just she's trapped on a boat in the middle of the ocean so i'm just saying do it on the last day he panicked did it on the first day she said no he was on a cruise with her family and her for the next week that's a movie yeah i was like yeah you're stuck and then he's trying to meet other people on the boat he's trying to rebound with other girls like on and it's her time actually that is a movie yeah the entire family is there i mean it was like 45 people it was like a family it was like her dad's 80th birthday oh god oh my god and every and they're literally and i was like dude he just panicked um and uh and just like when guys overthink like i'm just like think this through yeah i think yeah it was uh i was very nervous how'd you pick out the ring i i i you know it's funny the minute you decide you're gonna do it you immediately become duplicitous you're like you know hiding behind the person's back and trying to you know i can't tell you how many peop before my uh uh uh former fiance proposed to me i was convinced she was cheating for three months because he was like on his phone he wouldn't let me see his phone his phone was like he was like calling her friends and i remember i called her friend and yeah no no our friend who i was um involved in the planning of her engagement thought i was having an affair with her husband because we were texting each other all the time so funny that's what happened i called her number and the guy picked up her phone like hello like who is that you know what i mean like which dude is calling and i was like hey i'm and i do immediately be like so you know i know i've told anyone this but i'm gonna propose and he was like oh my god here's where's my hey here's my wife yeah it's like so much weird [ __ ] comes up and but the ring i i'm glad you called girlfriends because every guy i know calls their guy friends for ring advice i'm like what are you doing that's what you're doing that's when someone ends up with a yellow diamond liken sex in the city and then how did you pick your band or just no i had the a different friend go with her and say hey what your wedding band oh my wedding i thought you meant her uh you know my wife didn't care just go go get something we got that in case it's replaceable did it feel weird to wear jewelry as a man it it did i did it in movies a couple times and i was like we got it your movies are this just felt weird but uh but it was probably more emotionally weird than it was physically weird um and your father so yeah i know that's not i mean you and i right now are in the part of the movie that takes place at the end like you think the movie's over and it's going to credits and then it pulls up and it's like you know 15 years later we're like on this and this is us and we're like older and taller looking back on the thing but we really that really felt like it's probably because it was our first everything so speak for yourself i probably look younger now than i did back then you look great thank you but like you that was so you know everyone knows it when they're going through it but you can't hold on to it enough it's so also so it's like it's i like you i don't know i just i i definitely had thought this before like you're probably just like the most fun dad ever you know what i you know what i suffered from are you too fearful no no no i'm not i think i'm a fun dad i mean you have to ask my kids i think when i was younger around when you knew me if i had a complaint it was that i think people thought of me as a fun dad then yeah no totally but i wasn't a dad you know what i mean like i was like i wanted to you know date people and i would never take my actual children to disneyland crazy but i kind of you know i like we i am kind of a fun i've had this feeling since i've turned 40 where i'm like i think i'm kind of more what i was kind of meant to be it was it's a bummer to be there were plenty of girls when when we were in our 20s that i were like oh you know someday you seem like you're going to be fine but right now i'm going to get with the right the bad boy whatever whoever it was it's a deep cut that's a deep cut but um but i do i yeah i feel really great and i love it and i i think i'm good at it do you um i'm just terrified i know i'm gonna have kids they might be built in the lab or adopted who knows but i the way that i'm with my dog like i am so terrified because so much bad happened to me when i was a kid like i caught on fire and i and i hurt myself all the time like i'm just do you just eventually let it go or you always kind of like physically physical hurt or just like like breaking your arm right like i just we can't bubble wrap our kids but like does the fear ever really go away well now you're a protector of something there are better people to ask than me i'm not i'm not uh i'm not like a super dad but i do think uh like i've met them a couple times they seem lovely i think uh yeah you know gosh if i could just remember their names they're so sweet um uh the my wife is like we were talking about very into their physical safety and of course care deeply that they're physically safe but mostly there's kind of after a while nothing you can you can't watch them every minute of them live and some of it's about like you they gotta fall down and scrape their knee and then they learn not to do that thing on the listen to what you say yeah so i and i and i do hold my breath for oh my god there's gonna be a moment where there's a you know someone breaks their arm and you know so i hate all of them so that's why we don't use seat belts i mean they have to learn to they gotta learn you know what i mean they gotta learn and uh and then but what i do worry about is uh mentally what you're passing on and i mean i'm sure you can't help that stuff either to be honest but you know yeah and also they really do what you do not what you say and so it's like oh i guess i have to be a [ __ ] take care of myself because they're just gonna do what i do a lot of that and also just a lot of like what i'm thinking about lately is like i'm in someone else's youth like isn't that crazy you know what i mean someone's like deep youth you know what i mean like they're like those memories that you have that are like from when you're really young that form your whole vision of the world and it's a big responsibility how are you documenting them like when i watched the periscope and documented the woody allen documentary i was like i have no videos from my childhood we don't even want to be turning on cameras that much because we we grew up around a lot of people who and wait we're people who like attention and we don't that's part of the thing i don't want somebody they'll steal your thunder fair that's it they're so cute and they you know when you're with them in a picture i feel like people are looking at them and they just look older next to them that's the other thing too yeah so focus we do videos just for us you know what i mean but i see it i see people with their with their um uh uh kids and they're just sitting here filming their kid and filming their kid and i'm like you guys the kid doesn't know what you're doing it just looks like you care about this black box to them it's the new form of alcoholism around your kid i swear like kids now like this is where parents tune out i think that's true and maybe not filming them but about you know anything that's on the phone that box that they're the cigarette they're the cigarettes it's more important than me like that's more important i must be a real piece of [ __ ] that that black box that they don't know what it does they don't know how important it is but they're even they don't they just think it's a black box they don't know that it's better than them like how do they know that it's like way more valuable than them no i i do we're look this is all my wife so i'm talking about her her values which i really fell in love with um in addition to her we don't do any screens and uh she gets on me when i'm looking at my phone and uh it's hard by the way doing no screens i always thought like yeah that's the healthy way to this is why you don't know how famous you are you don't go on the internet okay so i ate these yogurt pretzels and now they're i've put them on my lap and they've melted and now it just looks like you put them on there here take some of them no it just looks like i auditioned for brett oh my god do you love that i could just don't give a [ __ ] well i don't think you're gonna make many enemies by making that joke i'm just saying like there's something that happens i think when the pandemic happened and comedians all of a sudden we're able to do podcasts that are more lucrative than a lot of tv at this point um and not needing the industry where it's wonderful it's that kind of freedom don't you feel lately like with comedians they're lifting each other up more than like that was not the culture when you and i no it was it's me or you for this job it's me or you for this especially these women it was like there's only one woman on every line up you're my competitor you're my hero but i hate you you know it's like because it's me or you now it's like we all lift each other up and the podcast is helping that uh that happen right because everyone's helping they literally have to call on your friends you know my favorite part about this is is that it's it used to be survival of the most savage or survival of the most ambitious or the most um uh uh it was never the nice guy won right for a long time for sure yeah you know um but uh you're the anomaly there but now it's like with podcasts and stuff it's about who will do you a favor and come and talk to you for three hours for you know and a lot of you can tell the people that have podcasts that were to comics coming up 10 years ago because no one will show up there's a certain number think about the comedians that don't appear as guests on podcast very often you know and i was doing it was used to be i mean doing you know rogan uh by the time i did rogan he was already the biggest i mean getting 90 million downloads a month but um uh like tom segura bert kreischer uh uh brandon shaw but all these podcasts that are now huge theo vaughn um that were huge when i first did them i was doing them a favor but i drove down to santa monica did my jury duty did their podcast now their podcasts are huge and now they'll come on mine and help me you know so now it's kind of survival of the nicest that's so interesting i never heard explain like that but it's like is that a beautiful thing the internet finally did something good for people if you were there's a lot of over correction and there's a lot of like people like getting that i don't think they really deserve but um and we're sort of now just getting so addicted to the the town square of like yeah but yeah but i i like what you're saying because it's uh yeah you know you were a dick 10 years ago you to even the the pa or the craft services person like everyone has twitter now everyone can weigh in now i mean there's all these these these instagram feeds that pop up or um people that work at airports are like yeah i met so-and-so and she was a total she was being [ __ ] like everyone that you never thought could help or hurt you that you just thought were invisible there was a solution back then which is just being nice to people but no i'm saying but but like the people that were to the comics coming up yeah yeah they're getting all the power or the minorities and the women the ones that are starting to get power are like uh probably should have been nicer yeah probably shouldn't have called me in the green room who are we talking about specifically right now uh we're talking about david spade for real no okay he's the nicest guy ever i know i've had a very pleasant experience that was a really hard thing because i was like oh there's so many people that they would not think that was a joke never um uh but he and and yeah it's like spade like you know like and also just like we hung out so long ago like we became friends like he comes to my like the fact that i can get the kind of guests i can get i'm really proud cause i'm like i feel like there's a lot of opportunities i didn't get or a lot of jobs i didn't get because i didn't have like a cutthroat mentality and i was very like now it's kind of that's paying off yeah i'm like no you go you go and i'm like i feel like i've wasted so much potential by not fighting harder to like get on snl or like like not being so compe like i just i always wanted people to like me in the hallways and if the audiences were lukewarm on me i was like okay well the comment the comedians opinions matter more well you did both really i mean you know what i mean you can and you can do you know you can do both but like if you were if you're a womanizer if you were ready to wear like you it's the jig is up you know yeah the people that work are the ones that are kind and a lot of the reason that i even your off-camera behavior um uh it's weird because i think part of the reason i'm so scared to keep doing tv at least as a creator is that you have 200 people like one i mean you have 10 people in a cast let's say one person's bad behavior 10 years ago or misjudgment 10 years ago can ruin everything you've built so now it happened to me with roseanne i mean she really built it but by the time i came in and ran it it's like we worked our asses off blood sweat and tears like i could not have put more into you know epping that show and then one tweet and it's all over you know can i tell you though that that's how everything i don't think i've said this to you but i or maybe i have but that that whatever the new pilot was so the new first episode for the reboot i couldn't believe it and it was impactful for me going back to network now just because i thought oh you can just abc yeah you you can do it you somehow i mean reunions should never work i mean just the nature of it should never work and it really worked i mean i didn't i was uh i don't think we had kids yet i don't think so i kind of like wasn't going to tune in every week yeah anything that was on network because i was like out yeah but uh but i remember watching that out of curiosity and just thinking wow i can't believe they they got it right and i knew you i think i knew you were on it at that point and it was like uh not only that i think we got it right for because there were lots of brilliant people uh involved laurie metcalf would come in because when you're like on a multicam you're like oh this script is going to change you're kind of just reading it during the run-throughs and then she'd commit like a thousand she's in her stefan wolfe hoodie there before anyone with her doing her pr knowing her things and do and then destroys with three i mean three hours of prep still kills it and i just went up to her once and i was very scared to talk to her like i was just like truly intimidated her and john goodman both um john goodman i was so intimidated by every time he would ask me a question i would just start lying like totally by accident and because i just would panic but but it's not a mistake that's what i've learned these people that are great i mean because those people have been great in other mediums too you can see it's like i was lucky the first couple films i did it was like julie roberts well with the when i was in with ginny and yeah and uh dennis quaid dance created something i went oh it's like like they don't have time for all that bull they're so busy making it good and trying and they have no ego and yeah the hardest working the one usually the people that are those on the set either aren't prepared or they're they know they don't deserve to be there and they need to like distract or create yeah that's right that's so right and the people are the most qualified are the most like just pros these i mean the people that especially in multicam it drives me crazy that actors on multicams don't get the same kind of respect and recognition really because it is such an art form it is so hard to do uh and it really is like doing theater and to also be subtle and and by with the kind of angles because you don't get to have these like super close close-ups in multi-cams that's something i've noticed doing this new one is i'm like like bring the camera in like i'm just not going to have to push it so hard i can do this like i don't have to be like darling certainly done my share of darn it yeah but um but yeah so that to me like that was just devastating like the idea of you know i did a tv show with an actor that got you know were there any red flags with roseanne no i'm just kidding i mean i mean you did it you know what i mean like uh a it was a red flag um the russian flag actually correct um uh yeah there was a uh you know it's it's tricky because i'm and i think part of the reason i'm like kind of whatever on hollywood right now and i'm i'm i'm this space and stand-up is more exciting for me is because hollywood there is this just like elitist like so left-wing that they won't even admit that right wing or conservative people exist or people without money exist and well that was always the brilliant thing about that show i mean i watched it more when it was on the first time but when it was on the first time she was hard left actually you know that's right super aggressive i just mean it didn't seem to have any um it wasn't allegiant to anything except for the truth but in comedy there's this new thing where you can't have characters that you disagree with or it's like offensive i mean some of the greatest characters in in television history whether it's like archie bunker you're gonna say yeah i mean you know but even even al bundy they'd be like he's sexist and he's objectifying his wife it's like get get what i mean archie bunker one's a better example because it really said something i'm not sure what mary children said in broadway theater in plays like there is a glorification of the working class person whether it's like willie lowman or um some uh tennessee williams plays i see what you're saying that was kind of like a version tennessee williams was married with children it's so great with children is to me uh just as important as cattle hunting roof um fair enough mary with children and martin were two were very uh instrumental martin when that was firing when we were in still the funniest stick i'm ever i mean still because oh and i didn't tell you about the uh jeannie garofalo thing with ellen i'm obsessed with when multicams break the rules i mean like when cosby at the end the finale they pan to the audience don't think that's gonna be his legacy but it was well done um and martin there was an episode where he opened the uh um window and jumped out and then all the crew members jumped out after him it was just this weird thing where he like broke the fourth wall it was like wild and then you can tell by i think it was like season three him and um yeah something happened on the show the first one or two seasons were do you remember that um i've gone and watched this on youtube because i think it's one of the funniest moments i've ever seen on tv where he starts giving her a speech but you don't realize until halfway because she's left in which was another guy starts giving her a speech you realize it's that whitney houston song which is a big hit on the radio at the time that i will always love you but he's like so you go but at first you just think it's like so good and he walks through it and what's great is hearing the audience realize like at the moment the penny drops we're like oh my god this is all the lyrics to that song and then he just keeps but he also played shanae the neighbor i mean i mean dude i still watch that show it is and also some of my favorite [ __ ] which i feel like people don't do anymore this is actually my main qualm with snl is like to me some of the best sketches are the ones that fall apart and everyone's breaking and laughing like yeah i everyone likes it everyone likes it i'm saying bill hader cracking up during the the club promoter obviously kristen wing and armistan doing um the singers what is it um garth and cat like that's my favorite kate mckinnon like she's a genius but in that alien abduction sketch would she she's like well she makes everyone else breaking that gosling was laughing yeah like i love that you know but then when melissa mccarthy my favorite of all time sketch of all time was the tasting the ranch bit and she's so she's yeah it's it's one or the other right yeah like uh melissa mccarthy she wouldn't yes she was on mike molly oh i thought you meant like uh gilmore girl like or that was she kind of hit and then she did mike and molly right true that's true maybe that's right but she like you know became a movie star off of it and then we're just like she's a genius like she was on a multicam oh no she's yeah i mean she's oh my god she's incredible like some of the stuff on snl you know we have uh not just sashir but nora dunn plays my mom on the show dude well here's my only reason to bring it up is don't wasn't that the best snl cast what is the best snl cast in your opinion i think it's got to be phil hartman jan hooks dana carvey like but then everyone my favorite sketch of all time is landshark so i would have to say chevy chase even though i know he's fallen from grace i mean look the original cast is great but i think like shabby chased dan aykroyd coneheads i mean that that was real landshark okay best cast not original cast that could be will ferrell you know oh young people of lonely island is it for them now it's like it's really i forget like like i kristen whit i mean yeah i mean kristin the christian rig gears has to be that is the lonely island right yes uh will was there i can't tell it was armas in there i mean yeah armistan might be my all-time favorite cast member i think i think it's gotta be phil hartman like i think there's not anyone on that show who wouldn't tell you it's that he's the mack daddy like i i but it's funny there's this thing i hosted it once and i said i was saying that because the creators of 70s show were head writers on snl at that time with phil hartman and those cats and i was saying to lauren like isn't this like the you know like it wasn't that the best cat in your opinion and he was like you know what was the greatest uh like period in science fiction writing and it's when you were 13 years old like whatever you know and i was like oh that's true you know we were like talking around the cast and it was like i feel that way about that cast and then caitlyn was like i feel that way about will ferrell because she's younger than me and then jimmy who like really came up on youtube and stuff was like i don't know some of that lonely island stuff and i was like oh i really don't know but i still would take norway when tracy morgan used to do that um talk show i mean there's maybe it's like on maybe you can't really figure it out yeah it's yeah there were different for different reasons because yeah when i was growing up landshark was like me and my dad's inside like i loved it so much because it was like you know made us laugh together i feel like if i look back at it now i'd be like this is random um wild and then uh it's also yeah it's the time in which you watch it yeah but in the years that i don't like were the years that i auditioned i feel the same way about a lot of movies out there problem that's the problem with like you asked me like why don't you watch more movies because i auditioned for half of them and i don't want to watch alice and brie be amazing in it when i didn't get it like it's this is my theory of why people like comedians are so miserable it's like yes we didn't start that way it's just that when you start doing it you as a business and as a field and everyone becomes a competitor to you instead of you can just you lose the ability to enjoy the things that most people use to relax and check out so movies and tv that's what everyone does to tune out when i watch movies and tv or stand up i'm like i should so what relax it's hard to find joy in it anymore so that's why i mostly watch old movies during them oh yeah pandemic i watched re-watch labyrinth almost once a month old movies well you were philadelphia story or something always i i finally got back to the back to the future trilogy and just some of those nuances and whatever i decided to watch sweet home alabama yeah but the old guess what it still works um and uh i watched charlie the chocolate factory the original have you watched that recently yeah that was very nightmare inducing for me when i was a kid i really i'm still scared by that movie dude watching it now is wild yeah yeah it's all the kids die yeah it's but don't they kind of come back in the understanding kind of like they're ghosts or something they would have died though as an adult you're like as a kid you're like they came back and as you know you're like that would have helped no i remember it as just being a horror house when i was a kid i didn't get it yeah it's a con it's a commentary on uh people that don't give their children consequences it was a comment on parenting right on bad parenting and at the time i was just like kids in chat like it's wild to look back and now looking back you can see how everything was made with like poster board like the magic is totally right i gotta watch it again you have to watch it again because you see that like the mushrooms are just made out of like painted baseball bats the way that they like the 70s feels like such a chill time to make movies like i mean there were some great movies made then too but but i mean generally it was like whatever guys dude my obsession now is with what happened behind the scenes on the movies we loved as children the wizard of oz do you realize that the scarecrow had to no the tin man the original cast member of the tin man he because he got poisoned because he got poisoned the they were using zinc and arsenic as the sp face paint uh the the uh the director um uh what's your name judy garland was laughing so hard uh and couldn't do a take that he slapped her in the face like it's like that was every movie back then yeah it was every movie get it together and then uh yeah just like all the crazy went on like behind the scenes of that movie oh the witch because the um the the with the green face uh whatever that was was so flammable that it was like burning her skin off and she caught on fire like numerous times like there's a great sketch the it's christopher guest did a for the oscars when billy crystal was hosting this a couple maybe 10 years ago um he uh does the like um a research group for the wizard of oz and it's like all in black and white footage so it's just like this was a filmed research you know those terrible groups of people who go anyway they it's uh kind of a funny sketch because they're all giving their input on why the movie is bad but then catherine o'hara goes she's so brilliant am i nuts or was one of those ladies green i know i think might have been fred uh what's uh fred willard my nutsert was one of those ladies green fred willard i don't it's a weird it's a weird one did you ever get into mad tv or no that was always like the like sloppy like bastard child of snl it was all the people that didn't make it when i first started i was in high school yeah i watched a little bit of it but kind of maybe i definitely the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me was when i auditioned for mad tv to me that's really what we get paid for like when people say like actors get paid too much it's like we do so much for free for we don't get most jobs you know i think it's weird that actors don't get paid to audition then writers don't get paid to pitch yeah i guess there aren't a lot of other jobs that are like that where you do so much work do a month of work you pitch a show and have no guarantee that they're you know especially as like show runners like i'm doing this thing at apple um the bunga bunga the silvio berlusconi story and like it was really wave slow down what is that sylvia berlusconi he was the um prime minister of italy and was like super corrupt and very much like a predecessor to trump 80s 90s up until yeah i did like i uh i narrated the wondery podcast about him and so i'm i should know way more um frankly but and then you got the rights yeah wonder you got it um and then i uh narrated it because he was very um uh untoward with women and inappropriate so it was like having to tell the story without glorifying him or you know so it was like i i kind of i feel like was a good match for it in a weird way he was the trump of uh he was owned tv stations in real estate and he put himself on tv he knew anything about this he bought the i mean trump and him i mean he like literally wrote the playbook for trump got the playbook from vladimir putin and then it's like like when you hear it it's it's so um concurrent like it's so wild he was like a playboy he had these parties called bunga bunga parties where he would have these uh girls dress up he did um uh these shows these driving shows with show girls and he got them elected to parliament so he got all of his cronies to be part like it was just so wildly corrupt he was like very connected to the mafia but also very outwardly disgusting and it made people love him more because he was so shameless about it he lived in this huge mansion that is very prescient yeah yeah and everyone was like you're one of us like and he had a gold toilets you know it was just but he he spoke in a very prosaic way in his mantra was go italy like a sports like he very much approached politics as a sport yeah i know like mike was good at marketing basically marketing himself that was it so he that he had the tan he had the bad hair like the whole thing well i gotta watch this he's amazing i love you i'm gonna let you go home economics can i take this with me yes i mean please no i'll if anyone listen to this point they're aware of home economics they're listening and yes you can have a copy of my book just hit my memo um and uh you want me to sign it joking um also home economics on abc now i'm saying don't plug it why not why not because because uh people want to see good television if anyone listened to an hour and a half of us doing this then they are well aware of everything that you and i are up to people in jail that finish these till the end um all right but uh home economics i i i look i don't say i don't bring anyone on podcasts like i'm pretty we're pretty picky over here for some reason just because i'm too embarrassed to go watch this show like i can't co-sign on something that i don't truly think is good or else i well we should we should promote it because of sashir is amazing no the ch i laughed out loud at the trailer like it to me just like it's about money it's heartfelt it's funny i know okay let me tell you something i just i'm trying to get a guest i am i am glad that i came on because i wanna i wanna hold on i'm available to play uh topher grace's uh uh a nasty ex-wife who has schizophrenia and um is coming back to try to get impregnated by the rich one you you are i really mean this one of my favorite people i cannot believe that we made it all the way through to here the best [Music] one four four four four [Applause] you

Channel: Whitney Cummings

Views: 125,453

Rating: 4.7492261 out of 5

Keywords: whitney cummings, comedian, standup, female comic, female podcast, good for you podcast, podcast, stand up

Id: ePWdUdObUTU

Length: 110min 2sec (6602 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 14 2021

Reddit Comments

[u/SecretSpankBank]

Don’t let people eat in the mix during the interview...my god