Ep #79: PARIS HILTON | Good For You Podcast with Whitney Cummings

[Music] four four [Music] [Applause] i wasn't ready to start uh but so i just sang that song i'm trying to not sing that song every opening i like it i do too but i think it's enough already it's time to update the good for you song and we're gonna do it at some point i've asked dave grohl's daughter violet to make it and she's too successful to do it at the moment but she will do it eventually she's gonna help she's just even other projects his daughter is more successful than we are they're giving it to an intern yeah so uh we are working on that um paris hilton is on the podcast today this was not a prank she actually came to my house it was in person utterly terrible to the unfinished home it was utterly terrifying she basically lured her into a haunted house my house is under construction i was so worried something was like fall on her head and like ruined the most uh profitable brand in america it was like a haunted house too because we all hid in mass and we scared her when she walked by so that was so weird we all there was like a weird vibe of terror when she was here she's just but it wasn't she just i loved it too she smells so good yeah she's like a human clown she hugged me she hugged me she has the soft his hair she smells like you think she would smell yeah she talks like this okay she's gonna get a restraining order let's take it easy but no it was just weird it's like like it's just you're it's just i've seen her and hung out with her so many times or there's something about having her in your house where you're just like yeah why did i let you come here right like this is dangerous is this a simple life are you gonna make fun of me [Laughter] she's like i'm rebooting the simple life the first stop is your house she's like a studio i just was like you realize how sort of dirty your house is and like when she's around you're just like oh she's gonna like get a splinter with one white glove on she's like by the way you know no she didn't touch anything uh thank you i remember because none of our bathrooms work only this one bathroom in this weird guest room works and has no handle but by the way there's no handle on it everyone gets locked in the bathroom um we i we i wanted to drag grace into this and she doesn't deserve it i set up the bathroom with a bunch of products that i like pretended to use i had like that oh we thought like like a lorac like skin primer like i tried to like impress her with the products in my bathroom it was very yeah as if she was gonna she's like none of these are my fragrance so that's right yeah she's like where's my skincare seems like none of my products are here so that's a little odd by the way as if and then i put a bunch of like unused like hair and makeup stuff out as if she was gonna need and as if she wasn't gonna be so beat and hot perfect when she got here yeah that's so funny i was like here's some like uh uh head and shoulders uh anti-frizz i was like what is all this it's a nightmare it's like walking into a pharmacy isn't it just for kids garnier champagne i was like no tears prell like all my products were just like so embarrassing and i went in there like two days ago and was like oh my god what is all this like she must have just think i'm bad and then you need to clean it all up you're like i got it all back yeah and re-gifted and put in someone's gift bag i took a lot of it yeah i know you're like thank god you didn't touch it i can give it away can we turn it no i wish he hadn't touched it so i could put it on ebay and retire um so paris hilton is on the podcast uh today it was i i feel like we saw a different side of her yeah i asked the most random and appropriate so the questions were so random so dumb so good but i think the people always my deal with this podcast is i want to ask people questions that they don't ever get asked on other shows and you did and i just wasn't asking those yeah for a good reason he's like you know i have a job like there's like things you could ask me like i don't know you ever smelled bleach before what's that like i was asking very brave because i was trying like i just feel like she's been so cornered as this sort of slick statuesque enigma that's i just wanted to ask her just like very everyday normal questions yes and yeah it was good yeah and she was just sort of like i should probably the fact that they're letting us air it is shocking um uh and the fact that it didn't ruin our friendship is uh uh doubly shocking a couple announcements before we get to a paris hilton paris whitney hilton paris and paris paris and perry emily and perry that's how it's supposed to be pronounced correct which is so funny to me that emily and paris they thought it rhymed emily and perry emily in paris it does matter but it's only around if you're a psychopath where they're just were they only making it for french people didn't they know that we're gonna make emily in paris texas yeah i think first of all i thought this took place in texas at the paris las vegas casino [Laughter] speaking of uh casinos uh the tour is back on the world is opening up we have booked so many stand-up dates we're right now just doing what is possible which are smaller venues which i find very exciting that we i mean i don't know we don't normally get to do i do clubs when i'm building up a special and you know as comedians it's like the idea is for your ego and impress everyone you got to do theaters and you got to do the biggest venues possible but now because those venues aren't quite open yet they will be open in the fall we're going to announce a ton of new dates um but we're doing a lot of clubs that are either half capacity now full capacity spokane washington um if you guys have any good cocaine let us know um because i need to be more manic um so we've we added what do you think we do here we added a ton of shows but the ones that are not sold out are april 15th the late show friday april 16th at 4 00 p.m early so for all you uh getting bused in from rehab that's your show um uh sunday april 18th at 9 30. so when you stumble out of church sober up come to the show people leave church at eight eight p.m very religious people i you think they're into sleep away i i meant leave church in the aaa meeting that's held at a church oh i was like what's this church of spain so here's the big thing the big thing is we added a ton of dates for the fall tour that are not necessarily on the website um and we're gonna need to name that fall tour i love it so these club dates are not part of the big fall tour yet we're gonna be in san antonio tejas we had to move it to the 30th and add another show on the saturday and early show because i'm doing uh the liza koshy television show i got asked to do that too well yes i think you might be on the same episode as me i play a narcissistic um like [ __ ] wellness guru and uh you've worked with your character you've worked with exactly so it's a documentary you've worked with quite a bit of those yes quite a few um i'm gonna do the liza koshy tv show um uh and so we just we just moved the dates around so some of you if you bought tickets on thursday we're just gonna move those to saturday and thank you for your patience a bump during this time um uh after that we are going to go to houston texas may 13th to 15th come on houston improv i love that room and i've not done it in so long it is such a blast that's at full capacity so let's let's all go um may 7th and 8th brea california which is like right outside los angeles for los angeles people come all new material it'll be worth the drive listen to one podcast and you're there um dallas texas may 20th to 22nd phoenix arizona may 29th to june 3rd also houston on may 13 through 15th i said that i thought well we jumped oh i jumped around yeah um and uh tempe arizona so i'm gonna be in phoenix and tempe for basically a week and a half i'm doing cb live may 29th to june 3rd in phoenix in phoenix then tempe improv june 4th through 6th that's my birthday weekend that's why we booked this so that i'd be out of town uh she'll be there i'll be there and uh baltimore maryland coming june 10th through 12th get your blue crabs ready goobies reno nevada this is a date from when taylor tomlinside taylor tomlinson and i were touring together and uh we had to reschedule it so many times because of govind so now we're like like in june 23rd we're just gonna do one date together which is just so weird uh and then september through december we are doing a ton of new dates that are not even up on the website yet but i think they're going to happen i think the fall is going to happen oh 100 yeah schools i think schools are going to be back i don't think you can put the genie back in the bottle at this point even if things do get crazy yeah right you can't the genie back to you make three wishes anyways um okay well now you're just semantic yeah now this is a semantics thing i get it you know more about genies than i do um i want to confront youtube about do you notice anything different about me have you noticed anything different about me in what way where you didn't notice physically personally yeah what do you mean no you guys have noticed nothing different about me i'm now well you have yogurt pretzel stains all over me how dare you think it's just a milky thing give me some credit that's disgusting it's pretzels i mean yogurt pretzels you're wearing one earring that's all the time that you know so what's different oh your butt what about you what about your booty i bet what about it you don't notice a bigger it's voluptuous i'm wearing my padded underwear you put in those two tortillas and you thought that did something you put in those you stuffed those two tortillas down your pants and you said i'm onika watch excuse me start apologizing to people for your body i'm not shy i'm just too embarrassed about excuse me guys on my thigh that i got from uh doing a weed edible uh too early in the day uh which too early talk about at some point three days off the wheat edibles guys uh never been uh more clear and not stuttering as much that is a paper thin butt pad and you are walking around like you were on nika mirage herself you are apologizing excuse me you might get this door guys i don't take up all the room pardon me pardon me pardon all this my hips are coming through but here's the thing my ass has gotten so flat during quarantine uh thank you to covid and edibles um that it's gotten so flat that even when i put on un padded underwear that's supposed to lift your butt no one notices that's how flattered my butt is like there's no padding in those there is feel that there is no whitney what you could have shut that that t-shirt down there and done more that is nothing okay well i didn't want to go too oh yeah i want it to look natural yeah you know so yeah i can't tell i wanted to look natural did you guys notice it my butt is like too hot and it looks like i have two like mini vaginas on each side no you already have a good butt and a great body i don't know what you're talking about but i want a bigger butt and then you should get this i'm an idiot and i spent a bunch of money on bigger and those aren't those are out and butts are in and we're going to start to go fund me for you i can't do the butt implants because you have to lay on your stomach for three months and i got fake i can't let myself get at all yeah it's always a down dog i really think that through it's always a what's this in yoga you can lay on your side cobra is that it you can lay on your side with a bunny i mean i'm not really getting bottom plants but i i but you could if you want them if i want them i could totally i just like you i can't sit for like three months no podcast it's two weeks and we'll get standing desks we'll all get button plants and we'll get standing desks so we're all the same eyeliner i don't want a button plant okay well you know what emily everyone wants to get one so the jury has spoken it is so it is so hot in here okay well you're not wearing a butt implant right no panties right now you know what i have on you know you don't know what i'm wearing how swampy this palette it's like a soaking wet they're like two wet sponges it should absorb sweat that should be nice yeah what if there was padding in it but those are just panties so they were too absorbable uh like you know that you should have put dish sponges down like you know the chicken cutlets that we used to have before they were like the the mushy gelatinous ones the viscous ones it's foam it's just that foam that's what it is you know what it is you know why you think those are padding if i threw these away it would kill a turtle in the ocean because i can't get rid of it you know why you think those but those underwear you know why you think that underwear is padded because you're used to thongs so you think that because it's full coverage you have a thicker there's just fabric touching your face just that's what how about that i have worn thongs for 25 years i don't worth all you should thongs are the only ones i i wear long johns and i said why if i could i could you mean you know you we need to move you to songs because i can see that the line oh you know what i have something like the long jump line your ankles i can always see that line there's so many things to worry about in my physical appearance my vpl is just not highlighted what's a vpl visible oh okay i didn't realize it had a but so i asked grace to go grab me some underwear this is how old she maybe thinks i am or how unsexy she thinks i am i'm like hey can you we were like in a super rush i had to run to do a stand-up show we were recording who are recording uh jamie lee and grace sewed two doilies together and brought him up i was like grace could you grab me somebody brought four trolls she came back it looks like just a giant ace bandage or like seamless nude they were they yeah it was the cover to make sure dust didn't get on it from the construction i have a pro granny pants it was the biggest pair of underwear i've ever seen i don't i think they were like spanx and i'd love the idea of choosing this must be what i think they were spanx uh but yeah but i had more full butt underwear in so long full bed underwear turns into a thong within 10 seconds anyway not if you're two strides not if you're doing it right no not there's not anything got no aids no there's too much fabric to get up there is it nice you safely put them to your to your skin not if they have um stirrups and i had mine do you remember stirrup leggings yeah they're still things i used to wear those all the time stirrups they were there were leggings that went down when i was little yeah yeah okay well that was not that long ago when i was rude um i had some other things i want to talk about we did our ancestry tests we did and i thought it'd be interesting for us all to uh uh everyone on the team here to give away all their data to the government so that we could uh explore our ancestry my favorite thing about paying for these is that it told me important information like there's a one percent chance that you have red hair like one mirror i also appreciated that also uh benton's dyeing his hair a lot these days there's a 99 chance that his hair will be red in the next two weeks i'm like what i discovered that i'm point four percent finish but my sister is not are you almost finished it's weird because you never have finished in bed that's not true that's not my problem that's the guy is that's how to finish i'm a mayonnaise person uh i am 97.2 percent northwestern european 97. i know mostly brit i mean i'm translucent whoa i'm 91 british and irish i'm 65 percent british and irish what was the biggest surprise eleven point eight percent i tell you on oh that makes sense your mom's a talent and then i'm oh 10.5 french in germany oh cool i'm 1.5 sardinian oh that you're a sardine i know one of my ancestors uh i'm eight point four percent scandinavian that's what i thought i was all irish that's right that stuff doesn't really interest me but i love all these like weird things that tell you just say the interesting stuff like the this one tells you if you this isn't an interesting thing make it interesting we make boring mistakes this is tells you one of the things on here that tells you if you sneeze when you look at the sun based on your genetics but why is that helpful to us like and let me tell you try it how do i find that grace the stuff that oh scientific details today and i am less likely to sneeze when i look at the sun i'm less likely to get bunions by the way anyone that looks into the sun is missing a chroma they should just like if you're looking in the sun you are mentally asparagus odor detector i am i am likely to smell pee or asparagus in my pee i'm more neanderthal than my sister and sometimes she just texts me that to remind me to hurt my feelings only uh someone with a lot of neanderthal would pronounce it neanderthal misophonia teaching whitney the internet it's not the internet it's a very confusing website that i've never been on because i didn't want to give all my data to the government because i'm sure i have a weird dui floating look here genetically it'll tell you if you have a fear of public speaking and benten based on your genetics and other factors you are less likely more likely view eight reports from wellness oh yeah okay here uh alcohol flush reaction unlikely to flush great what caffeine consumption likely to consume more that is absolutely correct uh deep sleep less likely to be a deep sleeper well that's because i'm so drunk oh this says i i based on my genetics i have a slightly higher than average odds of hating the sounds of chewing well that's who's your italian doesn't really bother me i kind of like that muscle composition common in elite power that's what mine says mine too that i believe i watch benton kick over a mailbox in one try once uh when i had my what do i have into when i had my my neck procedure done the man was like wow a lot of this is just muscle and i was like of course it is it's great so i have more neanderthal dna than 81 percent of other customers oh my god that trash mine's 89. i'm 29. i thought i was a high no you're very low neanderthal i thought i was high you're not i thought i was basically on the floor i think a lot of people that to this podcast think you're high all the time being hurtful no this is we're in the ring we're in the ring i'm not really sure what to do after we roast each other for entire podcasts we all leave i'm sorry i'm sorry and just cry and i'm not really sure what this is this gave me any health information at all yeah i don't think it's great i i also think it's like it's like like this is like if they're not a sponsor i just feel like so much health is psychosomatic that if you tell me i'm gonna get sick i'm gonna manifest being sick you know what i'm saying like i feel like so much of getting sick is mental your brain is so powerful and placebo it is like placebo effect is an effect so i don't want to look at all these diseases they're going to tell me i'm going to get has this factored in for antibiotics and eating healthy and like yeah there's a whole there's reports on every one of them what about your cilantro guys do you like cilantro oh because it tastes different to different people i like it i don't i don't like it and it says i don't know i don't like it and i didn't need you to tell me that sir exactly same with the red hair yeah i could figure out myself alcohol flush reaction i just puke up my alcohol like a lady yeah i'm on it like an adult i just spit it right back into the can and throw it out the window drink it again aaa likely to flush after drinking alcohol ag likely to flush i am gg no i'm unlikely to flush after drinking i have flesh a lot it says oh so it's a big flusher so you can you can tolerate a lot of alcohol yeah it moves through you fast see this is probably that's why that's why i always get alcoholism in my family you guys can't tolerate hold on to it yeah you guys love your advisors you know they're really taking care of it we're pickled i mean i'm i am people ask me they're like why does your skin looks good i think i'm embalmed do you know what this should actually be good for giving it to someone else like me reading yours yours reading mine would be way more helpful than reading about my own i think so too because like me i'm just like i i don't i know all this mm-hmm and the only thing i and i don't want to know that i have more of whatever that club oh but this is interesting to know so people with alcohol flush variant that's me unlikely to flush drinking alcohol carries additional health risks because their bodies can't break down toxic substance substance acid tala sorry that's my neanderthal coming out drinking alcohol carries health risks well whoa the most useful thing on my report is that 89 percent or more of my relatives were likely to have worked as a lifeguard well i am likely to be wait wait wait wait is that real yep get to know your relatives they are 89 more likely to have worked as a lifeguard wait is this because you they connected to your ancestors online through this thing i don't know 100 are british and irish i have no idea i mean it's so strange i don't know i mean if you i don't know hold on if you live on the island of ireland you're gonna have to save some lives because it's surrounded by water i mean that's like i'm trying to figure it out 58 of my relatives love to drink energy drinks that is so crazy but we didn't answer that 95 are more likely to have red body or facial hair are we related benjamin yeah a little redhead no i have one percent oh i thought it said you're more like less likely you're you're more likely i'm less likely to have that so 95 more likely to have red body or you know your relatives your relatives are i know but i'm saying i don't have anything because you're mostly british that's why i'm just saying i i'm finding out that i'm adopted and i didn't want to find that out this way oh uh maternal help bow group you also have the darkest hair i've ever seen so not right now not today i gotta go back to brown soon i really do watch people are getting worried watching the clips when you have brown hair is so so weird to me yeah and all i've known you so much longer with brown hair but it's still so dark thing about i think with my because look the last couple months having covered covered fog i wouldn't look crazy on the edibles i'm three days off edibles no edibles they do not agree with me benton is that in the report because i don't believe it if it's not no ben benton uh uh has seen me fall down a flight of stairs pass out in this podcast studio and hit my head uh it's it's just not a i just with the pandemic was happening i was like i should i'm too abstemious the issue is whitney thinks edibles work immediately upon arrival into your body and i'm so impatient and so she thinks that if it's been a minute that they should be working and it's like two hours it's boring and then like 12 hit her at one time no i'll take one and in 10 minutes like my problems aren't immediately gone i'm like these are broken i got a dud and then i'll take like seven and then how long are they supposed to what is what's the time lapse it's usually like 30 to 40 minutes depending on if you've eaten something already like you eat it on an empty stomach you'll get higher faster but the thing is with a lot of these edibles like the um the way that it's distributed is really uneven like maureen dowd did like a whole thing on this because if like you have the blueberries like read blueberries those were my yeah no longer um now i'm just hard kombucha and um heroin uh good stuff like but those things i can actually manage like i've never had an issue with substances telling me to do really dumb [ __ ] like take more of the substance like my thing like cigarettes my thing is i don't want to be addicted to cigarettes because i won't get as high if i smoke them all the time like the same thing with like alcohol i'm like i just want one glass so i can really feel it you know what i mean and i don't want to get my tolerance too high i mean that's a ride or die addict right there someone who's like i'm not gonna drink so i feel the high even harder right you know and so uh so with the edibles i would take them and a lot of times the way they're cooked like they put the thc in but they can't control how much goes in each one so one blueberry might have 30 milligrams and one might have two you never really yeah so i in my head was like ah i got one i get dud i'm gonna take five and then i start doing my own math i did this is so embarrassing i have no weed edibles the most embarrassing things i've ever done on wheat edibles when i was in uh mexico um that's the respectful way to say it um uh where was i i was at this place called a monta i was michael patrick king bridget everett was there bridget the great bridget everett if you don't know her google her right now god bless yeah brilliant performer i had had my ear bitten off by a dog i didn't want to take painkillers i was like i'm not an addict right i'm just gonna take 90 edibles right they're natural they come from the earth but i took i had no idea how to like read the milligrams i didn't really know the difference between sativa indica like i'm just like a bad at drugs you'd think i know a ton about most there's weed never and i was at a new year's eve dinner i took a hundred milligrams of thc because it came in a gummy like a lot right yeah yes you're supposed to divide it up into four i just ate the whole thing i didn't know um i was just with this like male model i met on mariah oh i felt a little too confident in my choices and uh wipe under your eyes i passed out at the buffet on the beach new year's eve buffet holding a handful of salad in one hand and a marrow bone in the other hand i can find the photos of how [ __ ] high i was i passed out and then bridget everett thought i was like doing a bit which is a testament to how [ __ ] annoying i am uh at social gatherings she's i all i remember is watching her step over me and like walk away and i was like no one can see me i'm invisible but she just thought i was doing a bit so she's just like haha and just like kept walking to like take a picture or something but i was like no i could see me oh no and then i kept standing up and every time i stood up um you know those like balloon people in front of car dealerships they go up and then they just go down and they go like literally my knees just would not hold my body and i kept passing out in the sand michael patrick king i mean one of my dearest friends but also someone who's respect i'd like to keep uh literally they had to drag me onto the beach and remove me had they everyone done in the group too like was it a group activity that no that's all but that's the creepiest part about it is that i'm not like let's all party together i'm gonna take so that i'm okay and then i'm like oh so high and then um when you're trying to not come off high you seem so high have you been roofied because you're literally just like hey man i have not been roofied but i didn't know of what yeah why who we were at a bar in nashville andrew santino i knew it no it's nobody that ever wanted to roofie me um i was at a bar in nashville and there was this there was this um bartender that wanted to like sleep with my friend there were like 12 of us and i i am notorious if you go anywhere with me then at the party finish other people's drinks i will buy everyone's shots like to the point where it is like let's go bad like because they're like so fun to shoot them together yeah yeah it's only drinking two together activity and so like there was these drinks they're called death shots in nashville they're probably other places and i ordered like 14 of them or something and he didn't know which one she was going to get so he just roofied them all so the only people that didn't get roofie were the two that set their drinks down and then were nervous and didn't drink them i took all my clothes off in the and got on top of what and got on top of the speaker in that bar we have this one video this is on video [Music] and then i puked they wouldn't let me in the lift my friend had to call someone to come get us i was like i got and then i put all my clothes back on and i got inside of them like like you couldn't see any of me and was talk giving a whole i was it was very bad um can i just say but super fine if i were the girl i'd be so flattered that someone wasted that many roofies just to get one into my drink well what is hold on let's break this down is roofie quaaludes or is ketamine i don't know what it is but i know that all this was your body paralyzed it was like it was like being blacked out no it's like being i remembered nothing like i apparently was completely functioning but like all of us that actually drank the drink all of us had the same experience and it was like it was like from the minute we took that drink how did you find out um well ma the other girl she just said that's i mean i guess we just found out my the other girl had been roofied before and she said that's what um so whenever we described it whenever she described it she like it sounds like it sounds like you're you were roofied and like because all of us that took it the rest immediately remember when it was like nothing it was like the day did not happen that's crazy anything else we need to say before we go go to get your tour tickets whitney cummings.com and get some merch before it's all gone the merchant is up now is going away for new merch to be fill its place that hurts me my heart well it can be reprinted okay but it is going away so collection coming in [Music] so it'll be here when it's here and we do want you guys to make sure you're getting the other merch if you want it because it will be gone when it's done now the batbap sweatpants the tie-dye the one with the brain on it the wild merch everything you see on i love that guy except for the white good for you hoodie we'll be staying oh the one with the orange that's the white one that's like peach and white yeah um i love you don't ride elephants and here is paris hilton ready oh my god you know what's so funny is that i you're a nightmare because i have to be next to you i was trying so hard to look cute for you didn't happen didn't pull it together i never look i never feel um less put together than when i'm with you well you look like a little sailor unicorn i look like a little child um that's about to go sit on santa's lap and it's not gonna go as planned um i am sitting here with paris hilton how do you feel good are we friends yes we are friends oh no i miss you i feel like we are friends in a weird like metaphysical way we haven't gotten to spend that much time together yeah but um we're very close on like a spiritual level i agree don't you think yeah we need to hang out more why is that i just feel like we're just we have these fun personalities that just like mesh well together but i i also but i also might be delusional i think i'm closer to you than i am because i feel when i was in l.a and you know during the time when you were sort of introduced to the world like i was learning so much from you at the time like you were kind of all of our fairy godmother it was kind of like all of our like fairy godmother older sister cool older sister that was like dating all the cool guys and making these fashion choices i was like just wear whatever pairs where's you know you're like my everyone's cool older sister for so long do people feel weirdly close to you i feel like people feel like they know me just from watching me grow up and watching the simple life and just seeing me in the media for so long so a lot of times when i meet people they'll sometimes know more about me than i even know about myself right oh that's the worst like i'll be walking through the airport and so i'm gonna be like like yellow joke of mine i'm like ew gross you know what i mean and they're like it's your joke and i'm like oh sorry i forgot about it like like do you ever look back at them and go like uh wish i hadn't uh sometimes some of the stuff just on that show i was just acting like such a dumb blonde that i look back on it now what is what is the dumb blonde thing we were just talking about this what what is that i i'm obsessed with getting granular about what is the origin of dumb blonde joan of arc was blonde right wasn't um amelia earhart maybe blunt like why dumb blonde marilyn monroe is that when it started probably i think it's just always been a stereotype and back when i was just coming into the industry it was like almost like it was cute to be that you know who ruined it nazis yeah she literally i feel like perizone has a little button that's just like a publicist button where just an ejector button where she'll just if i say something that could her entire global uh empire she just disappears into thin air um what is going on in terms of like this is a press tour you're on i'm not gonna ask you questions that you normally get asked when i watch your interviews it it frustrates me why because i'm just watching you and i'm like why like i can't tell if you want if you're in control of what you're revealing do you know what i'm saying or if you look how long she'll not talk like you'll just shy you are shy it's so weird what do you mean you're shy i don't know i've just always been a very shy person which a lot of people don't believe but i am i i believe it and there's this thing with you where i'm like when i see you out and when i and i watch your documentary i'm like i have compassion for you and then i see you and i'm like i don't feel sorry for you you're so strong you have such like strong energy and you claim your space so hard and i'm just dying to know how you sit there and don't say anything look that's what i need to learn how to do look at her i think that's called self-esteem how did you get it how'd you get it where'd you get um i don't i think just from going through so much in my life that maybe it's just it's not that it's self-esteem i think it's just this thing that i have it's hard to describe like i don't know it's a stoic like is there a conscious effort to allow people to just project because there's something about like like if you can't approve upon silence just don't say anything because i look at you and i'm like that is so smart just say just don't say anything if you don't say anything they can't get you what are they gonna get you know what i'm saying you're like uncancelable because you weren't like that me i cannot keep my mouth closed it's so powerful is this conscious was it taught i just don't how i've always been i never even think about it it just happens what about for you you just always talk i mean kinda it's like i just um i'm so impressed by you because i think there's this right now or in this moment where we're like okay fame business women running how much do we owe our fans how much what is privacy how much are you going to show how much are you going to keep for yourself you know i think we're in that place and i feel like it's a comedian it's like we can share everything in podcasting we have to share everything and here's my breakfast and i just you know got this and i i'm on this anti-depressant and i'm on the head this uti you know but like where do you draw the line in terms of privacy i feel you know now with social media and everything it's just like this whole new world where everyone is sharing everything and i think there is people who just definitely over share and with me i like to share my life and before i only showed a certain part and now i'm sharing a lot of things that i'd never discussed before which helps other people to understand and relate to that they go through the same things so i've never been so open in my life have been in like the past year since the documentary came out are you allergic to anything no nothing you have zero allergies zero zero yeah why i've never heard that before that's amazing yes i'm just trying to i'm i'm only asking you questions you have not been asked before because you are have been asked every question and it makes me so why do you do interviews why are you here well i'm here because i love you and that'd be fun and i love your podcast and um i do interviews because i have to for work it's just part of like the contracts and you're just yeah you're obligated mostly she's like i'm here because i'm obligated but it's like but you are um so clear about your business you know and it's something that i admire so much like you're so what drives you do you think it's ancestral because of what you come from like business is in your blood it's in your dna it's in your bones is it like i i believe i have something to prove i have something to prove and i'll what drives me is i want to change the whole structure of how this works to make it fair and right so that everyone else can you know like i'm trying to figure out what drives me like what drives you every day i think just from growing up in my family it was a lot to live up to and something just that runs in my jeans and my blood and also just wanting to prove myself i didn't want to be known as paris hilton the hilton hotel granddaughter i wanted to be known as paris so i've always just worked so hard to just make my own name for myself what's your middle name whitney what is that true is that real yeah paris whitney hilton so are we related yes behind the wheel i didn't even think about this until now too oh my god that's crazy i'm that's wild so am i somehow royalty i just will get my lawyer we'll we'll talk later um i watched okay so the documentary i know everyone there's a there's a narrative that that um you know on our podcast there's clickbait and then there's stuff we like to cover i always have a different takeaway so that was you know the documentary's incredible super powerful there's a moment when you're about to dj at about badland outside lands tomorrowland tomorrowland i am so bad at festivals it's just i'm not cool enough and i and i boycott the name of festivals i'm like bout to bumper shoot but coachella belt and i like i refuse to learn them because i hate uh that i can't get the wristband i want um and i saw you and your in the your dude at the time no i was not my dude it was just some random some random and uh uh he will i can't wait till he sues me after i say this but um i was like [ __ ] dude we've all been there when you're in a relationship with a guy and you're about to shine or a girl or whatever like we've all been in relationships that like thwart us in some way and we're trying so hard to give them everything and shine and find that balance and that was that was really hard for me to watch can you just like describe that moment that was a nightmare because it was you know one of the biggest shows i've ever played in my life this is tomorrowland it's the biggest music festival in the world half a million people and he was just being so annoying and just like why are you promoting these other people and not promoting me it was just like gross and then dropping my computer and just completely stressing me out right before i had to get on stage it was just i couldn't take it anymore so i was like you have to go but that is it was such an important moment for i think everyone to see is like we're all hustling we're all trying to elevate but the person you pick is a business decision i'm saying you know i mean it's a business so it's like business woman the person you decide to marry the person you partner with is a business choice and i remember liking that and going like it really um made me think about all the times that i've been like game time about to do something important and i'm like and then my personal life undermined me you know so like what when do you feel like you learned that your personal life and your professional life like they they are not inseparable yeah that was definitely a big moment and this was something i didn't want the world to see like i was fighting with the director like please cut that out like i did not want that in there i don't even want this loser like getting any attention like just cut him out of the whole film and she was like no i need to show that that you're taking back your power and you know there's you've had enough and this is the first time that you've really done that because i never have stuck up for myself like that ever um so this is just like the beginning and then what like like what um when you have conflict in relationships like how do you manage that you don't seem like you like love conflict i hate it i hate confrontation i hate conflict yeah any time i've had like an issue with someone i don't say anything and i just stop talking to them and dump them but i can't even you're a ghoster you're a yeah i think if if something if i feel like you're not hearing what i'm saying i just remove myself from the situation and try to regroup yeah i'm like that too i just can't i don't even wanna dignify it with a response i don't wanna get into it i'm just like peace that's so healthy where did you learn that just from life god i think just from going through hell and back because just out left and right yeah especially in this town do you feel like i was i was thinking about you this morning all i do is think about you um and i was like what what have you learned from about human nature it being a boss and now that you you know have all these businesses what have you learned about human nature like what do you think is like cut and dry human nature and what's changeable about human nature like are we inherently um wired to want to see someone get destroyed i'm not but i feel like there are a lot of people who are who love that and it makes me sad that people just enjoy watching people get torn down or just even watching the brittany movie that just made me just feel so emotional and just to see just how people and the media and just how the way she was treated and so it could relate to that in a lot of ways i was talking to laura wasser um she was in the podcast recently and how do we get brittany out is someone who do you have her number do we call her now like it's just uh saga it's really just it's so sad just to be an adult and have worked your entire life and then just be treated like a child and she just has no freedom are there things that you've seen like because i like to go like now that i'm like oh i get to like build my own version of this business you know and i look back at all the things that didn't work like there was i mean i used to go to auditions and hotels i used to go on like i was telling people the other day like for the first five years of my career i was just going on dates with agents i thought there were meetings like i just i didn't know i thought that like caa was just at chateau marmont like i don't know like i'm just going you know what i'm saying like are there things that you're like that was not right that was like you know looking back and things that you want to course correct moving forward as you build your business um i never went on dates with agents you're like um i exclusively date uh celebrities icons um although we do have a little bit of beef because you did date um the love of my life eddie furlong so paris hilton has a podcast and i was on it the other day and she's like who's your childhood crush um and i was like i had photos of eddie for a long truly like floor to ceiling like i would make like i would lick my wall and pretend we were making out when i was like 10 years old that's hot and you dated him for how long i don't remember i was like 18. i think it was like nine months or something my dream guy is like you're sort of like throwaway guy it was a long time ago so i feel like such a big part of like what you know as as women now is just like pass on whatever we learned men women anyone um like what do you feel like you would like to pass on to the people starting businesses now that are what do you wish was available to you when you're in your 20s early 20s just now it's just amazing how much is available to people like just with even a social media platform come on let's drink a little water oh my gosh paris drinks water you guys okay water yes um just the tools that they have nowadays are just you know you could basically make an entire career just off having a phone and a talent and you know that wasn't possible back then so i just think it's really incredible with technology what people can do nowadays and so and you also i feel like came up around so much fame that was so um traumatizing like you know like your family you grew up around famous people jim says you know you saw how is it is it healthy is this healthy like i feel like you have managed to figure it out and i don't know if it's because you grew up in it and it's like kind of you're used to it you know how to protect yourself you have boundaries but like is it healthy to be famous like what precautions do we need to take as we're all going i want to be famous i want to be rich and then we get there and it's like it's a mental it's a really challenging mental health thing i feel lucky i think just from having a supported family and really growing up in this town and just seeing it all where i've just kept like a level head on my shoulders but then i see other people just just crash and burn and i've seen it all i've seen so many people come and go and it's really detrimental to mental health i've just you know the pressures of it and everything and the people that you meet and getting over there's just so much that comes with it but i've been through so much that nothing bothers me what scares you does anything scare you death that's so scary i just because i don't know what happens after us and if it's nothing and that'd be the most boring thing in the world so boring i'm so scared of that like i hope it's somewhere like amazing and like fun and i was i can't believe that i was thinking about that i was like what if we just die and all this work i did on this podcast studios for nothing you know what i mean when you're like working hard for something you're like what's it all for so yeah that is a fear my fear isn't dying like getting hurt in the shark it's more all the work i did is for nothing then nothing after that did you have religion growing up i went to catholic schools yeah oh that'll do that'll do it and so we um i'm obsessed with when uh someone has found their person and has kissed you know found their prints kissed the frogs or some like red flags like like absolutely paris hilton wisdom like if you see a guy do this girl do this whatever on a date red flag like rude to wait staff huge red flag i hate that where's abercrombie and fitch huge red flag yeah like when people are rude to people i like that that's just a turn off and how they are with their phone i think that's a big red flag like if a guy is weird about his phone and like always is hiding it or like putting it on like airplane mode because they don't want text coming through or if you like try to like touch it they like have a panic attack things like that scare me so i think it's important just to do like your spy work and like research and make sure that you're just not going to get over because if you're not careful guys can take advantage and they will have you like have you ever been wrong i'm saying because it's like when you're like pin my stomach every time that happens i'm like i knew it six months later i knew it my gut has never been wrong i always uh try to talk myself out of my intuition you know the first time you see him flip his phone over boom and you're gonna pin your stomach you have all the information you need you know i really believe that that you will that thing over there what your like word head thing i saw your video of it what head that that's a robot i know i love it i saw the video you did with it it was dying keep looking at it i'm like your evil twin i know this is the evil twin that's the nice one the robot is the one that you'd want to hang out with um and uh uh you know because it's like it's it's it's this weird thing where i'm struggling how do you manage being a businesswoman i mean you said something in that documentary it took me so long to learn this when uh the random dude who was sort of sabotaging your big moments it was very clear to me now as a as an adult woman that's been in therapy for 15 years and 12 step programs i'm like oh he was insecure and he was trying to make it about him you said in that moment you were like you're so insecure you know how how do you do you ever have to make yourself feel like you have to make yourself smaller minimize yourself make yourself quote-unquote beta for your pers or have you met the person where you're like i can just be whoever the me yeah before it would be just very emasculating to a man just they would just turn and just so insecure and just like couldn't handle being with a powerful woman and that's what i've dealt with forever until now like my fiance is on my level we're equals he wants to empower me to be the best woman i can be and equals partners yeah that's so dope so happy like i can't believe it and so like what about him is there's something it's so interesting it's like i always say it's like it's not about how who he is it's about how you feel when you're with the person so like i'm dating this dude now who it's just like all he wants to do is like solve problems and i'm like oh maybe this is love like when you just feel relieved all the time mm-hmm what i'm saying because i realized in relationships before i was like who's he texting is he gonna be mad if i do this do i have to tell them about this oh that gives me like goosebumps just worry oh the worst just the constant you're my nightmare i watch an interview between you guys and he was just like this carter carter had a spell's last name rheem this guy these beat he's got us he's on point i'm like that is it that's her equal he's incredible like i feel like he's like god like sent me this angel to come and save me from all these losers but what um what when did you know with him when did you know because sometimes when the right guy comes along we and we sabotage ourselves and we put all our past baggage onto them and we ruin it yeah we've seen it happen you're not gonna do that no we've known each other for 15 years and oh i didn't know that yeah so we've been friends forever and then um on thanksgiving i went to the hamptons with my family and we just we're having lunch together and we just like connected and then that night we had dinner had our first kiss and then right when we had the kiss i was like i'm in love with this guy and this is what i want to be with and i think i was just so sick of every all the other been throws like i just want something real and i was ready an adult he's just like a grown ass adult yeah i was like this guy has like a 401k i was like this [ __ ] like he's got like you know what i mean like um and then when did you say i love you did he say first i think we both said we said at the same time after a couple days we like went to miami for art basel and we were just making out and jinx said it it was cute um how long when should someone say i love you what's too soon i think there's no time frame on it yeah it's just love like it's suppose if it's meant to be yeah it will happen right away if you say it too soon and it's weird it's not meant to be right like anything awkward like do you feel like things that annoy you in past relationships when carter does it it's not annoying no you're right nothing nothing nothing nothing and then once you're um uh when you guys have a conflict do you ever have conflicts no we never argue about anything it's crazy because i'm used to being in like crazy relationships where it's like always drama always fighting always being scared always being untrusting and with this i'm just i've never felt so safe and secure and i have nothing to worry about and it's just like how is this even real it's crazy i'm always just trying to figure like does relationships take work are they supposed to be easy like i'm always trying to like figure it out because it's like when things are hard everyone's like well relationships they work and then people go it should be easy it should be effortless and i'm like i can never figure it out so we're always sort of talking about that on this do a little both yeah do you eat jelly beans do i eat them sometimes depends on the flavors are these like weird flavors so these are um jelly belly benton will you explain this to me they're jelly belly beanboozled beans so they could be a delicious flavor or a terrible flavor that's what i thought i knew that you would have those weird ones i want to go through red flags or like i want to um i want to just do some like i just feel like you find this prince i'm like i just wanna all the girls listening all the guys listening i just want to like bestow all the wisdom learn from our mistakes learn from our mistakes we made them you were making them in a mansion at the same time i was making them in a studio apartment um we just we were making the same mistakes just very different um parking situations i had to go get like a parking pass it was a nightmare um and then why don't we do whoever gets a bad one gives a piece of relationship advice okay i feel like the brown ones are bad and it tastes like poop they're all okay so this one doesn't matter what color it is to know which one it was the jelly belly box oh god they're giving me um okay so jelly belly okay so so don't look at it or don't you can't look it up [ __ ] sorry i'm so um bad at jelly beans um uh what's this one what color is that pink pink and flecks of benton what is this yellow fruity tutti frutti but i don't like tutti frutti when it's not a sneaky flavor i'm sorry this one all right on there oh no she got it i think she got it this one tastes like throw up what color was it purple or pink and blue give her a good one give her that wait give her a good one we don't know which one is good that's the point of the game what was that one supposed to be the purple and or pink and blue that was insane that one tastes like throat so it was actually dead fish dead fish and then the blue one and then and then you had a blue one after that yeah like mint that's toothpaste so it's also toothpaste perfect cleanse it out but i like that you told your composure so well we did not it was like a really cute color so i was expecting it to be like cotton candy or something nice oh this is a metaphor for life to me this is like a complete metaphor for life sometimes things come in cute packaging the ins you know what i'm saying yeah like this is a metaphor sometimes the oh wait so who gives the advice me or her whoever got the bad one you said whoever got the bad one okay did you eat one yeah didn't i yeah yeah yours was like good it was good and then i was panicking here you can get another one throw up one okay you know what that one is this is birthday cake i think isn't this a bunch of different ones this is the key you tell us this is tutti frutti or stinky socks that one's bad i hope it's stinky socks for you after what i just said that's the one i got the other day that was really traumatic stinky socks yeah benjen almost fell off a ledge when he ate one of these oh my god that's not even like actually that might be too intense that's too much that's not that shouldn't be legal i'm so sorry okay your drink is spilling all over the floor so you're the other side of where oh so dumb um whoever thought of that like do they think of these for people who like want to joke with their friends or just to be serious so it comes with a game and you spin it like twister but then you have to pick um okay so i'll get so you give a piece of relation advice i'll give a piece of relation of advice we both got a bad one um i uh always ask is it worth it someone once said to me i was in this like really stress like relationship is like so hard and he just goes is it all worth it and i was like oh my god no like the good times didn't outweigh the bad times but i was so addicted to the adrenaline and the chaos and you know when you're like in something bad and you're just in it and to get out of it would actually be harder than to you know say you know when somebody's like i guess i'll just stay in this because like we're on a trip next month and we already booked that flight so let me just like stay in the like just get out as soon as you're thinking about breaking up you're gonna break up that's my advice i don't think i have ever thought about breaking up with someone and it didn't you know what i'm saying yeah well it didn't happen obviously i agree with that and just not wasting your time because life is so short and so precious and like i've wasted years of my life with people who didn't deserve my time so i feel like you said when you have a bad feeling or something happens don't give them the second chance especially if it's something that because once they do it once that's just like how they are the way you do anything is the way you do everything yeah like that's your nature i got your nature and now it's up to me whether i'm going to be in denial about it or not exactly you know let me see the ring jerk so so question so carter so his proposal i've i've i look i have some ideas for the wedding mm-hmm i officiate loves that that's pretty much the main that's the idea that's the pitch are you talking about it how are we planning it yes does every woman uh grace and i were just does everyone have their wedding dress in their head since they're a kid because we were both like i fully have a wedding dress just on deck not even engaged i always had like the disney princess vibe of a dress just like like looking at like cinderella or something like that but now it's it's changed like i want something just more like elegant and yeah and then where that's what i'm trying to figure out it's like a legal issue of mine to ask what is it somewhere like nice and warm nice or not too warm because i hate when you're at a wedding and it's just like hot and humid and gross so somewhere with like california weather because it's just but how many p you have too many i know that's it's like i'm stressed out about your wedding for you yeah i am too because i know like thousands of people but with this world we're living in now and i don't want to have to wait till the world's completely open because who knows when that will be mm-hmm and then honeymoon like because here's the thing i'm fascinated by you because it's like you've been ever you've done it like how is carter like how do i dazzle this gal that's been dazzled seen everything done everything like i love that he's not intimidated by that he takes me to romantic places i've never been before like napa and things like that and like bora bora we because usually for work i've always had to dj or travel and it was like ibiza or vegas or miami or is that how it's pronounced ibiza ibiza okay thank you i need a rich famous bra how's can is it can can can okay thank you but people say it differently sometimes like i hate when people say ibiza i think it's so annoying but some europeans say it like that but i'm not into that um so i've only been to like all like these party islands and party destinations and now i'm like an adult so he's taking me to like romantic places that i never would have went before because there's no clubs with them and also i haven't been there with you you know what i'm saying like i'm starting to learn that because i'm dating a guy who's younger than me and like i've been through the ring you know i've been through i've dated it's not my first rodeo jim saying but there's a way to make your second or third or whatever rodeo i'm on it's fine it doesn't have to be the place we've never been you know what i'm saying like i think sometimes our our our perfectionist visions you know as a as a business person creep into our personal life and undermine us sometimes you know it's like we don't need our personal lives to be as prolific as our professional lives and like uh grandiose you know well plus when you've probably been it's always been for work so you only see the hotel room and then wherever you're going for the work so that's so true yeah when you travel i've been everywhere and i've literally seen nothing because i've been just in a hotel room or the club or wherever i'm at for my event but that's about it right and then i was so do you have someone in your life that's like your person you're like that's your nikki probably you know to make a like big decision who do you go to my sister yeah she's a beast dude i've all i've always just been like like she's just got beast energy yeah like i've i always felt like paris is okay like nicki will cut a [ __ ] yeah like she just has that energy she's a boss have you guys ever gotten in like fight fights not like fight fights but just when i was like little i would sometimes just take her clothes and not ask yeah she would like get mad normal but the lateness thing i was thinking about too excited in the documentary there's something about that b there's something about that little hit of chaos before she was trying to figure it out what do you think it is i think just being an aquarius i'm just like very floaty and also purses are tiny purses are too small yeah in my 80d i think i just are you on something for that no no like that's the other thing is that i went to um this doctor the other day i was like i have anxiety and i'm on this and i'm on and should i and he's like but isn't it working for you he kind of was like aren't some of these things actually do you want to solve these problems you know because you're you're probably like i'm doing this business and this is probably part makes you i think it's a superpower super power turning your um at things that are normally pathologized into superpowers i love yes emily i'm hungry i'm busy [Music] [Applause] i'm very busy but what did you just see me eat whitney just sat down for a booking meeting with a jar of peanut butter and nothing else just a jar of peanut butter it's not peanut butter it was peanut butter banana chocolate goo it was a mix it needed a knife or a spoon and we just used our little finger and then what did you say you said i said that's disgusting and then you said get some bread and i did and then what happened then you ate a piece of bread which i ate i put the peanut butter on the bread as you instructed me to right because you were being a bully right oh that's me and then i ate it and it was just the corner of it was the same color as her hair but we've all been blinded to that mold color because we're staring at it all day every day so i ate a fully moldy piece of bread this is what happens when you don't use daily harvest when you're left to your own devices is a 38 year old mentally ill woman and you're busy and you eat moldy bread you don't have to live like that you could be eating daily harvest flatbreads instead they're fresh healthy no mold in sight nope except yeah they deliver delicious food all built on organic fruits and vegetables right to your door my favorite smoothies of theirs are mint cow cow cacao i love the flavor combinations i'm always like like coriander yeah yeah i don't know what that is but it is delicious and then i like the staples i like banana greens i like ginger banana greens i feel like when i when i make that as a smoothie sometimes i like put a little olive oil in it that's just me and a little coconut oil huh i do go a little rogue and i like add stuff but it's all the fresh fruit all the veggies all the stuff is already in there so easy and you you can just take the cup right to your car the cup already has a hole in it for the straw they thought of everything everything daily harvest never uses preservatives added sugar or artificial anything and they most recently launched their almond milk spelled m-y-l-k which is made of only almonds and a dash of sea salt and that is it and it's super convenient because i'm always stocked up whenever i want to make my smoothies daily harvest is an undeniably delicious clean food without the prep get started today go to dailyharvest.com enter promo code good for you and get 25 off your first box that's promo code good for you for 25 off your first box at dailyharvest.com dailyharvest.com don't be silly emily yes i love you thank you but why are you talking to me and not a therapist right now my depression has depression and i don't even want to leave my house to find one you um have been to a lot of therapists in your day quite a bit um have you asked them for refunds or they don't do that they really don't they really don't and when they're done when that 45 minutes is up you're that it's over there's no like wiggle room right 45 minutes right and there's a i i don't like going to the therapist office oh i don't know first of all they put all this stuff on the table which is a trick i don't like the double door because where's your therapist in a saloon no like the double door to for the patients that can't hear you in the oh so that they can't hear you aiming and crying right what i've never had a double door therapist yeah and then you know you have to put on the straight jacket and then you sit down you know they buzz you in you know they buzz away and they lay you down and then they put the shot in your arms every week look at those seat belts over your chest and the priest comes in your mom told you that was therapy yeah yeah totally i just think in person therapy it's over there's got to be a better way what it's called what a great segway thank you it's better help better help will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist on the internet so you can go the place that you get your mental trauma is the same place you can heal your mental trauma now perfect the internet two windows open you can go on instagram on one window and then open up better on the other side and it'll cancel each other out it's not a crisis line it's not self-help it's professional counseling done securely online i think my favorite part is that um as someone that has needed to contact a therapist and get a session immediately this isn't like a hey i need to i can see you in three weeks right right they can you can start communicating in under 48 hours that's a game changer yeah it literally was like i'm having a crisis i can't stop dating married narcissist right and they're like okay we can see you in four months by that time you're married yeah by that time yeah we're gonna walk down the aisle exactly this podcast is sponsored by better help and good for you listeners get 10 off their first month at betterhelp.com whitney betterhelp.com whitney that's t e r h e l p dot com slash whitney i don't know if you guys know this but my first the first time i ever paid off my loans was um uh because a little show called my new bff paris still did my new bff the finale hired me to i don't even know what i got to go back i was like a writer on the finale for writing like my jokes or other people's but there weren't any jokes were there i think it was like transition i think i was writing they hired me just to be there and then the contestants would come to me and i'd be like just say this and they'd be like cool i was like i don't even know why i'm here i feel like i owe you money you guys paid me like 20 grand it was the most money i'd ever made at the time and i was like sure i'll do this i was like 25 i had no idea what i was doing did i ruin your show no that's so funny though so yeah if you were like uh had budget issues i'm the one that was taking money and doing absolutely nothing but um but i remember you on that subbing just so kind to everyone and so sweet like how do you um move through people that need so much from you and not take all that on i would watch people just like and you just have this like uh orb around you really yeah i don't i never really even thought about it i've just always been myself and i just feel like when you're kind and you're sweet and you're a good person that you just get blessed in life and have a good good karma that is such a dope way to put it ben 10 are we going to play some games with paris hilton yeah because periscon's in my house i feel like i have a giraffe in my house like i feel like i have an exotic like a rare exotic animal not yes i guess a unicorn giraffe unicorn like you had to drive at your house she'd be very upset there'd be a news story that's right i would be tweeting about it malibu safari wine safari um okay so because paris is um the your business brain is just wild and i'm you know for me i i don't i'm pretty good at business but you have this ability to go like this is what's going to happen i don't think people understand that when you make a fragrance it takes so much time you have to stay committed to it you have to follow through you have to see it over the finish line you have to yourself stay invested how do you know like because there are other times you're like oh just i wanna this isn't even worth it it's taken two like how do you know and have you ever given up on something in a good way and been like you know this isn't worth it we're not gonna make that um i'm not a quitter i just i never stop i have like this drive and determination and i have good instincts so i and i know what i want so yeah i mean i i'm literally in therapy to think the way you think it's like it's actually frustrating how clear you are like if someone asked me that question i'd have like a two hour answer i'd be like so my ancestors like you're just so clear benton what's your game what's the first game we're gonna do you have them oh i've got all our games okay so we're gonna use your business brain to build our business okay um no we're gonna see if any of our the catchphrases that have uh come from our show if you think any of them have uh the staying powers okay okay they're worth trademarking we've been on so many trademark calls oh my god and we get on trademark calls and i'm just i've no i i have no idea what they're saying yeah and not a clue it's like a different language it's a completely different language i'm just like can you trademark it or not yes or no and here's a hundred thousand dollars and i have no idea what rights i have um okay first one first slogan for paris hilton what do you think what is it like what i i you always have that played like on your instagram yeah um you're doing it i think it's no not to be trademarked no because it's just like noises yeah they're utterances they're glutteral just i mean i was on nyquil peeing in my yard when i came up with it so i don't know why it wouldn't be a a hit a hit okay this is holding okay second slogan oh here we go sweet box i wish it was sweet bomb so much better than the one we have sweet boy sweet boy that's benton that's what i say before i say something mean because i'm a sweet boy but that's cute because you're sweet right [ __ ] you get a point okay no not the competition study study and what is that for daddy this is like see i'm terrible at branding because i this is something my dad used to always say to me when things would get crazy i just go steady steady like when people and then uh walker dad had to train her through it and i would say steady and i was like oh that's my and then i say it but it's not catching on why not it's yeah it's not really that catchy it's like you're telling someone to like chill and it's like when people do that it's annoying yes and you know what's weird i'm saying it to myself you can't have a catchphrase for yourself yeah i'm saying it's a mantra it's a mantra [ __ ] okay i'm lure okay okay okay here's um rock in a river it's supposed to be a rock in a river like a rock and a river would be a rock and roll don't get it it's too long maybe this is something better than my mom said to me whenever things are going really bad instead of panicking she's like being a rock in a river let it wash over you okay so see here's the thing you don't see he hates it mom see i'll force the issue you just go what's working and you'll let it you'll let it take flight instead of forcing something that's not what i'm saying so you just said that's hot people started saying you're like oh that's the thing you just listen to the metrics in the fans and you could just say it for anything like even if something's not hot like that's hot or just like there's like a positive way to say it like a negative way to say it there's just it goes with everything i don't know i just say it all the time it's hot um and we also you have how many fragrances 29 can you name them all yes really i don't want to put you on the spot but that is incredible thank you can you name them all i can name a couple benton is never not wearing pepperoni for men yes i do love the original paris hilton for him yes yeah the blue bottle it's so good i love it it's insane what is seven guys wear that and what is the process like what is if you're if you're gonna make a fragrance so because every celebrity they get famous and then they have a fragrance and it's always like that's always what's the process do you get to go in because we want to make one for good for you and you're going to help us well basically you either go to like a factory or they can just have them delivered to you just all these different notes and scents and then you pick your favorite one and then from there what i do is then i think of a name and then start designing the bottle and then come up with a campaign of what it's going to be that like represents the bottle and the name and then it comes out so if you're going to do one for this incredible energy that you're taking in now so if we did a good note what would the notes be uh puke what was that dirty socks so far what notes have you picked up on uh construction construction work something turquoise turquoise that for some reason like turquoise and neon like because this is very creative this is very visual it has to live forever like you have what 29 fragrances that have to live forever yes yes yes yes and benton is such a genius at this stuff like you know in working in retail he's like no one buys that this is why people buy this like the psychology of why people buy like you're so good about going like i'm gonna make something special that someone's gonna want in their home and i'm not good at that i'm working on that you know but so okay so we're doing for good for your fragrance we're doing what else those are jokes but let's do i love roses like do you start there do you literally just start there yeah like what notes do you like like which what perfume did you wear in high school can i guess ck one i love to see kayla that was my [ __ ] yes lolita and then i wore paris hilton air i wore lolita lympica and then when i was feeling real crazy i wore candy cane love sets yes i wore calyx i was a dork i wore tresor by lancome are these words i'm having a stroke um yeah and then just naming dinosaurs well i'm just thinking i'm just saying like maybe you start with perfumes you already like you know what i'm saying so you're like me cat i want to make elizabeth arden sunflowers you know that's my i wore that one black diamonds um so would you start there you would just be like okay there's uh this is what i do like i like kai i like child i like you know this is a fragrance i do like do you start there or no yeah it's good to make a mood board of things that you like so that when they do bring in the new sense they're like okay we're going to bring something that will remind you of that so it's like being inspired so i didn't even think of that is that like plagiarizing sense i didn't know that yeah you can probably you can't go i want to smell like this you want it to have like your own twist on it otherwise people are going to say oh she just copied this one and then what are the things that you say like that you're not in like like business opportunities that come to you and you're like not doing that like not interest or not now because someone like you it's not about if you're gonna do it it's about when you're gonna do it are there things you're like just not now you know yeah there's been a lot of things that have came in that i'm just like not now or ever um the weirdest thing anyone offered me was my own paris hilton sex dolls i was like dude i am not doing that like that's psychotic so that was like the creepiest thing anyone has ever offered because what we say no to kind of defines us too yeah i was like is there i always wanted growing up being a fan of you i always wanted a paris hilton x mcdonald's collaboration like what did you order off the menu because i remember growing up and seeing all those like photos of you like going to the drive-thru and people were like wow cheats at mcdonald's i love mcdonald's that's what you need a menu paris hilton did you order oh my god that was what was your order what didn't i order um just like lots of fries sweet and sour sauce chicken mcnuggets chicken sandwich and then i'm obsessed with the breakfast i just had it like two days ago i had like the pancakes the sauce so yeah and the egg mcmuffins and hash browns see we could get all this in a little pink bottle yeah there would be one of those clippings there are those clippits you used to put a half let's play 30 seconds of a song in you could bring those back i like it oh wait you know i'm not gonna forget to do this i want to look at your most recently used emojis you can't change them you can't change them you cannot change them how about you do that you just go to your texts and go to your emojis and you uh like you're about to send a text and just screen grab uh let's throw over a little bit oh yeah oh i got it oh she just gave me i just have your phone in my hand this is so weird i feel like i i feel like i literally have just like oh my gosh oh it's an airplane mode um so i'm okay okay so your most recently used emojis oh my god so funny the heart this you this is really who you are this honestly this is how you find out who someone is on the inside look at their recently used emojis come on it's all hearts it's literally all hearts and smiley faces with heart mine is all the gun to the head the skull the poison the needle like look at it it's it's it's the headphones smiley face with the heart turquoise dress what's that just when i'm like talking about a designer i'll be like dressed by right this is a camera for giving photo credit on instagram yeah oh yes okay so some of these friends like giving credit to people that's awe that's nice it's not only nice it's an excellent business move you know that's how we elevate people now the new economies we tag people i see a lot of people they don't tag anyone and i don't understand why people do that it makes me so mad or not nice celebrities will um tag someone's stories but you don't underline it so they can't click on it and go there i'm saying you boomer i've done it but when they tag someone but don't yeah make it clickable we don't need to call it geriatric celebrities that seems mean um music champagne it's all happy chappie chicken i wish i had a champagne oh my god look how happy she is god damn it her emoji okay so this to me tell this when i meet someone a new guy i'm dating just ask them first red flags can i just see your most recent emojis and you'll learn everything you need to know about this person i'm telling you good one this is amazingly positive and healthy girl yeah what are yours girl i can't i can't with this okay so i'm also dating someone younger than me who loves emojis um so mine hold on where's my okay mine are wait also you have 326 unread texts i have 271 okay we're both psychotics um okay so mine are um oh no the first one is this one that's my main one my main one is the face palm yes my most frequently an eggplant squirt a panda what wait that's true a fig leaf oh no the panda is real they're all real the panda the concert ticket i don't know these feel like they're oh because you were talking about tickets on the instagram mermaid vibe the shell interesting a hedgehog sometimes i sometimes i send to um people like my i have two girlfriends who when i'm um feeling like depleted and used and they're like how are you i send a shell i'm like i feel like a shell of a person oh like i need to be fighting for mermaids yeah like i need to be filled up you know what i'm saying um uh and benjamin what are yours mine are i do the single eyeball in the mouth and the single eyeball to make that little face like i like that a lot i do the squirts too i use it when i send my friend pictures of makeup that i like this card emoji with it um i have a redhead that's from just from where we're talking to santino um i love this one with like the watery eyes me too the cute one it's my favorite one right yeah that one's new and i love the cowboy hat emoji you shove an emoji i do i'm the little blonde princess you do but you know what i'm realizing about you i just saw it happen this is part of your um genius is your curiosity that's it it's like because i i learned that the person that's talking the most knows the most but you're actually just just the way you did that you just were like what is that what is that like i saw that's what it is that is it that's why can we go back to what you said sorry i'm so into this the person talking the most knows the most no it's like it's like she's in a uh observing and asking quite the exact right question that was like such the right question to ask as a businesswoman like you know what questions to ask that was that i'm really impressed thank you like that's how you find out what's popular is going what is that why that curiosity that just blew my mind i know you guys didn't see what i just saw i know that this seems crazy but that was very few people do that you're making me realize more about myself very few people are interested she said very few people do that very few people are interested in me so that was crazy no but just to do what is that and why and you know because you find because because you're always ahead and now i'm learning why jim saying you're oh you're curious about because i have this uh new thing i have to learn i have a dread about new things you have a great let's learn it let's get ahead of it i love learning new things it's like you have an excitement about um new tools and socials and stuff [Music] and i have a dread towards it really you know i'm like i have to learn another thing i have to do you know what i mean i love it i just i love experiences and i love learning new things and i don't know just experiencing new things in life all the time give me a bean give me a bean and if what color let's see this one wait this is so weird do you know this my favorite flavor is prickly pear oh i picked it cause i thought it'd be a booger and i wanted to see burgers they're mostly just salty but prickly pear was the only jelly bean flavor i would eat growing up i would like throw fits in the mall and my mom would have to drag me out because i would only prickly pear jelly beans what is it it's burger okay so um yeah so boogers like it's a slice of slow burn it's salty isn't it that's a slow burn and i was like ready to have like a childhood nostalgic like warm moment and that just like took away my childhood traumatized that just that just undid all the therapy that i've been doing for so long um wait are you guys you're not in um you're in therapy for you no oh good you know what i literally i was going to say so you're in therapy absolutely not honestly i was going to say like i don't think you need to be in therapy i've never i've never said that to like anyone i never say that to anyone but like we've never told a guest that like you're okay like you're so good like i'm saying like you're good you're salt like i have no notes like it's like this um um i think you got to know when you're doing well too i think we're in this culture right now where it's all about like self-examining and that's great and um and pointing out the things we need to work on but you also got to know when you're failing at him when you're dope you know what man yep what i love the idea of you being like you don't need anything and she's just like in paris it's just like i didn't ask yeah um nobody i didn't remember asking if i needed help oh my god i love you love that we renovated the podcast studio before my house which is so telling of your priorities because i'm such a workaholic right my house is on hold but the podcast studio and you accidentally turned your entire upstairs of your home into an office but you didn't mean to was this an accident at all this is my dream i now get to just like work all day long ours too yeah this is like an alcoholic just like popping in a bar so we renovated this nook we should show it to you guys you're never gonna see it you're not i know it's off camera which is so stupid though but i'm looking for um a big like fan like a couch to put in that's like simple and clean yep and article furniture you guys know i want this green couch wait i'm just going to screen record it show you guys this don't you think this would be perfect this green couch grace that how cute that's perfect how cute is it can i tell you this is truly my actual style of furniture i love it it's like scandinavian meets look modern meets warm i don't like cold yeah yeah i like woods such a good point i like rustic remember my talk show i had i had wood in the background resurrected wood everything i like things to feel warm yeah like kind of a cozy barn right but i want it to be high quality and that's what they do and i think i guess they first look at the price of that am i allowed to say it out loud that anywhere so reason that anywhere else would be like seven thousand dollars like it's look at this super fair prices fast affordable shipping and these little side tables are so good so i'm i'm obsessed with article furniture uh you save up to 30 over traditional retail prices they don't scam you like a lot of these furniture stores a lot of these furniture stores when you go to them now they don't even have it in stock anyway nope they do not they don't have it nope they'll go well now you have to wait eight months to get your couch you're like what article we ordered it we got it like two days later all my stuff all my um uh outdoor furniture down by the pool is article first i love it it's beautiful it's chic it's like it's just it's a game changer it's a game it's the me of furniture i love that article is offering our listeners 50 off your first purchase of 100 or more go to article.com whitney and the discount will be automatically applied at checkout that's article.com whitney to get 50 off your first purchase of 100 or more honestly i am outraged about what today your tone mostly never gonna change um emily came in this morning i was like okay she was it's just my face it's just my face enough feedback about it um i just think it's unfair that when you're at your most vulnerable time in your life 17 18 you're 18 years old you've seen movies right about people go to college they become they go to wall street they become billionaires right you go to college and your your life is fixed yep no no no no no no no no no no it can be as it can be a rigmarole as we say around here yeah you're signing a contract you have no idea what you're signing when you sign up for student loans it's insane you'll take over the rest of your life because you i thought after i graduated from college i would just get a check for a million dollars and a job at goldman sachs they uh and a bentley they i went to college they misled us it is time to break out of the student debt cycle ernest can help you by refinancing your student loan earnest offers low rate student loan refinancing and you can check your rate risk-free in just two minutes because sometimes when you check your rate oh then you get docked then you get in trouble for checking it i know and you know what they don't teach you that in college [Laughter] thank you university of richmond 200 000 education it is time to stop feeling overwhelmed by student debt i mean you always are overwhelmed but that's my face ernest come through ernest is offering our listeners a 100 cash bonus refinance your student debt at earnest.com whitney terms and conditions apply now ernest is giving our listeners a one hundred dollar bonus refinance your student loans at earnest.com terms and condition supply once again get you a hundred dollar cash bonus when you visit earnest.com whitney to refinance your student loans not available in all states terms and conditions apply visit earnest.com whitney for more details terms and conditions apply earnest student loan refinancing made by earnest operations llc nmls pound sign one two oh four nine one seven california financing law license number six oh five four seven eight eight three oh three second street suite 401 n san francisco california nine one visit earnest.com licenses for a full list of licenses penn should pay me for going to college there after i just read that without making one mistake university of pennsylvania you owe me money now they taught her to read what do you watch june carter just sit and like watch movies or are you guys always just like let's build a business we're mostly working but we started watching shit's creek just so funny so funny i love that show but let me ask you a question you're with someone who so i'm dating my vet uh and he has to go we can't talk about dogs anymore because i'm like i have a million questions you know the same way when when people date me and they're like tell me a joke and i'm like no i'm off work right now do you guys have like we're not working right now because you're both work mowgly type people or do you just go you know what this is how both of our brains work let's just work all the time and find the balance we like i thought i worked hard like this guy works harder than anyone i've ever met in my life love it which is so inspiring to me and like obviously we take time off to be romantic and cute and like enjoy life but most of the time we're always just thinking of ideas and just working together and just like it's amazing to have like that like power couple vibe yeah i don't know it's different it's so new to me because i'm not used to being with someone who's just so brilliant and hardworking he's just like such an adult he's just like a grown-ass man he really is you know i'm saying have you met his family yes i love them yeah um and uh do should we know peop who people's ex should we know people's exes should we do we need to know do we i don't need to know no i don't even know what do you say your definition of love is feeling at home and safe great love just yeah i think being safe is the most important like home and trusting and being best friends and i think something your your documentary also made me realize is sometimes you don't know what that feels like until way later in life you know like you don't know what's safe until you've been safe and if you haven't ever been safe you have nothing to compare anything to you know so it's like um you know watching the documentary was just that was really powerful just go like oh yeah like like i thought i was in something healthy but that's just compared to all the super unhealthy things i was in before you know what i'm saying it's like it was just such an interesting thing to to watch um that documentary just i know the major takeaway was about you know the school and then you passed this law you know to get this abuse to stop and it's it's it's brilliant i don't want to make you rehash it all here but um you know it's like the person you choose just is so um pivotal to your business and your mental health every day and like your documentary really just helped like crystallize a lot of that stuff for me for me too yeah just showing like you cannot take over the world if your man is being insecure with you and making about him or if your woman is like causing texting you before the show causing drama like you just the person you're with is a business decision you know and like i feel like i saw it when i in that documentary and like i just got it i was like got it i'm gonna stop chasing that guy that is not interested in me that has given me anxiety who's not texting me back before a show and then the whole show i'm thinking about him and then he's like being weird and then wants me to you know be in a selfie with him for his feed i you know i was like i'm done no yeah this is this is [ __ ] up my ability to be a good business woman it's so true it affects all parts of your life it but i need your documentary for some reason like it was boom it just like clicked for me like that that was um a huge service because i think so many of us waste so much time in relationships and [ __ ] up our businesses and our income and our potential because we're just in a like a rat [ __ ] nasty toxic thing that we're stuck in i know and then it never ends up working out anyway so i was like what was the point and it just ages you that was at the end of the day i remember therapists once i was in this real life one of those kind of relationships i was just like bad like you can't get out can't live with can't live without said nancy type thing and she goes you know that um uh being stressed out releases cortisol and uh that actually uh depletes collagen right and i was like are you telling me that bad relationships make me look older and she was like i could i was like okay like that's like i need to hear that got it he's out um i'm gonna talk about your podcast which i did the uh the other day and fully embarrassed myself i mean that couldn't have been worse it could have gone worse no it was so much fun couldn't have gone wrong i couldn't have been more of an idiot i just you know i had the faux covered fog like what can i blame um but uh yeah it was uh it's it's so weird because i feel like we've spent so much time in this business trying to figure out what works and it's like oh just us sitting around talking were we overthinking it this whole time you know so tell me why did you start a podcast i actually never even listened to a podcast until quarantine and then i was listening to yours i just i loved just how like fun and open and real you were and then um i got a call that iheartradio wanted to do a deal and it wasn't only just gonna be my podcast i was gonna have my own company so it's like a audio company called london audio where i could also use my platform to share with others and create other shows and produce them and i think it's just fun yeah it's fun just to be able to talk about whatever you like and i've been interviewed a billion times so now it's like my turn to do that and i like it it's a major role you get to control the narrative because i think it's like that's so much of the speculation you can't speculate anymore on someone you can't project on someone anymore you can't like lie the way you used to be able to lie because you're able to get your side of the story out right away clearly in a cogent way yeah and also just from years and years of doing interviews and just always feeling on guard and scared like what are they going to ask me next and just kind of always being nervous and now not having to feel that way and just being able to speak what's on my mind and just be myself it's a way frame healthier way to communicate you know what i mean like what we're it is like the fact that we should like go to a place and put and script a conversation and go out and talk to a stranger we've never met before who we grew up it's just like talk [ __ ] like all that just it was crazy that we did all that it was crazy what a like circus rigmarole so inauthentic so it just you know what benton has uh um and so in the podcast so what podcast do you listen to now what do you like about them like what like because you're all you always know something gonna happen in 10 years what's happening should we should we keep doing this podcast yes i think that audio is the future and it's amazing just how many people now have their own podcast like i was just listening to rashida jones and bill gates podcast i think that's just like a very cool pairing yeah and i just did kate hudson's one sibling reverendly with my sister and her brother oliver and that was just so much fun just to like have the siblings together talking about just everything in life because i feel like fans now they know they know they're like no we know they know the seven minutes on a talk show or the 20 minutes is [ __ ] they know it's you know what i'm saying they're like we just want to hear people talk like there's a different expectation for authenticity now definitely you know and i'm glad that audio is the future now that i'm aging perfect time perfect time to be off camera and all right it changes the future and the past we're like we hate radio we love radio it's literally we're going back to radio sitting by the radio and listening to the radio or like um prairie home companion or howard stern or whatever like we've you know we've always wanted to hang out with somebody um and just i've always wanted to hang out with somebody even with clubhouse just the new app like yup i love that it's a social media platform it's not like a vanity platform it's not about how you look or posting a video or a photo it's just about your voice and your knowledge and people learning and just the community on there is incredible i just see that people are just so generous with their time and just speaking and helping others and i just think it's a really beautiful thing that's uh that's such an amazing observation like uh i love clubhouse and it is they're generous with their time and i'm learning that when i go on there first i was like is this just chaos is this toxic you know because some i get overwhelmed because i when you go into clubhouse if you're verified or something everyone knows you're in there so then they'll call you up and then i would like feel pressure but i figured out a way to do like a secret profile so i can just sort of like spy and um i talk to a lot of people on there who are like you know it's just audio only it's like a live chat room basically you know it's a bunch of just strangers you know talking about a topic and a lot of people were saying like you know this is really helping me build my confidence because i'm able to talk in public but not you know it reminds me of like old like 2000s chat rooms where you could like beat anyone yeah be just talk to people yeah without the pressure of like a picture yeah yeah totally kind of scary totally because i felt like the that for it's so interesting that you're like audio's the future because i was like like everything's visual now you know instagram happened take time everything's visual and then it's so interesting how it like vacillates you know back and forth and back and forth like audio visual but yeah it's like ultimately audio now like who would have thought we're back to radio we just want to hear people talk is your mom going to be a guest yes when is she joining the housewives yes are you thrilled um i haven't watched the show in a while but there's so much drama i'm hoping my mom doesn't get into the drama but i think she's gonna she'll be entertaining i think she's gonna even everybody out i'm obsessed with her yeah so she's really dope she's just like just an icon that's why i'm like yeah the show needs that they need someone to be like stop all this yeah i mean but i don't know if they have control in the editing in the post you know she will i know she will figure it out she will read it like my daughters whatever this isn't working that's amazing yeah did you guys have to talk about that was it like uh she didn't want us to know she basically when we kept like reading about it on tmz and just like six i'm like mom that is so doing this and she's like no and then finally she like admitted to it and my sister and i talked about it like if there was not a pandemic going on and she wasn't so bored there's no way she would have agreed to do this and she's never looked better too so i think she wants to show off just how hot she looks as well as she should right she said you had a show this is my turn but she's probably already friends with some of them i mean you know right well your answer on there right yeah you're but not but still yeah uh yeah yeah you started the show uh but i know but lisa is not you know my housewife's knowledge is not excellent is there anything you did that you miss doing like acting singing are you gonna do another album or anything i'm doing music now i love that i could just do whatever i want so like a lot of passions and i just do them like the thing i do miss is djing though i just love is that going to come back and just like 100 000 people it's like amazing i think it will come back soon not like now but i feel like by the end of the summer most people have the vaccine and then like herd immunity then it'll be back and i feel like it's going to be like like the roaring twenties or everything yeah yeah and go out i think it's great that you do so many things i think so many people are trained to think like i have to pick one thing and do that forever i think it's really cool that you show people like you can do all your interests you can do them all and it keeps people from being like in such a box like i have to be the dancer or i have to be this stereotype or that one it's like i'll just try all the things and to go i'm gonna learn in public that's what we're doing with podcasts none of us like stand up act you get to practice you go to schools you do you learn private for so long and then when you're good you go show it to everyone now we're like for you know i mean the first episode of our podcast like it is dan levy from shits creek was our first episode oh that's it yeah and it's like you know we'll have to watch it at some point but when you're like oh my god like we're just learning in public you know it's just like so funny the idea that we're like starting a business probably santa's kind of learning public but you've got to search it out that's right but it's not a camera yeah you're going to go you've got to go see someone but it's just so interesting that we're working out the kings publicly you know yeah that's just the wild and then um okay benton uh uh we've talked about this for benton did write a paper in his high school yeah about paris it's a big deal okay do how was it received and what was your grade do you want to tell us about this psychology class okay and we had to write a persuasive paper on something that we think everyone should believe in or like yeah and everyone picked like political topics and politics or like religions and i was like i know my religion and so i did i did a whole extra thing i had like a i had like a screen that folded down and had all your movies i brought them all in a wagon a red wagon i had every one of them and then it was like it was like magazine covers and books and everything it came down from the ceiling i said a whole thing i was like flipped down i had a laser pointer and i did a whole full costume and then when i ripped it was the costume it was it was like a farmer for simple life and then when i ripped it open it had a shirt that i love paris hilton i did a whole album review i got an a yes crushing it it makes me glad i want to see this did you find it yet my mom is like she's just scouring our attic for it she's on her hands and needs looking i don't know where she put it she kept it i know she keeps everything so it's somewhere in that house that's so cute i wish there was like a video of you giving the presentation me too we didn't have any of that back there's no videoing god dear i know i was watching that woody allen documentary that i was like why do they have so much video of their childhood i guess they're filmmakers whatever i was just like i don't have if i would you had a lot in your documentary you guys filmed everything yeah we had a lot was that your dad or your mom my dad smart well he probably he's he's you know he's smart it seems like he's like shy and he's like i'll do the i'll hold i'll be behind the camera and he's like the proud dad just like filming his first daughter and what does someone get you just love to film things my dad got a camera and it's all he could do it's like stop it no one wants to watch this blair witch project rendition of me napping thank you so much that was me just sleeping in pizzas um okay so if we're gonna be friends i have a couple questions for you i don't know if we're gonna be friends i don't like i feel like what does someone bought what is a gift what is what do you what does someone get you as a present if i can't get someone a present i can't be friends with them because i love buying people presents i like anything with unicorns oh well that's mine you can't have it okay i like it oh i love rainbow bright yeah i know it's in the fashion what toy is the best right i was the growing up where i was like every um uh little cartoon i had to have a horse i loved all the ones with horses i love you you're a horse girl right you i love all animals i love horses well that was really my first like i was like this she's got 50 dogs and they're all in her purse i feel like we're going to be friends i feel like we're both hoarders items what's your most prized possession oh like what's the thing that you're like this is the thing i'm grabbing well i was at your house and i it if you've been to her house that's a really wild question because it is her house is um it's it's um it's a museum of prized possessions yeah you know but yeah what would it be that's a good question my 21st birthday is my skin yeah my 21st birthday dress like sparkly iconic dress i love it all right i remember it silver like like julian mcdonald dress that was like all made out of the swarovski crystals sick you should have your own you know like britney spears has the zone where they have or you need one of those yeah a timeline building it looked i remember it did look a little painful was it line on the inside see what i when i did the roast it was no it wasn't when i did the roasted donald trump i wore the sequin dress and i took it off and i was covered in scratches like i was bleeding and i remember seeing this and going is she okay what if that scratches her it looks so good i didn't care do you feel like you get the credit you deserve for social media i think now you have to i think now people feel sure they know that i'm the og yeah yeah it's now it's like it's very it's very clear because i think like like f when instagram started there was like a murky wild to think about though there's so many people that just couldn't have a career otherwise it's how do you do that i would just i would just throw in all day and be like everyone is so lucky um but that you were the guinea pig but there's also these people like you you remind me of these icons these like that that are that are so um smart about the way they're what they share like i was reading about betty page you know betty not betty paige um hedy lamarr hedy lamarr was a famous movie star in the 30s she lives in florida and no one saw her after she was like 60 or something she just doesn't let anyone photograph it did you watch her film yeah the documentary yes that's why i picked that director because alexander dean directed that film amazing and i didn't even know who hedy lamarr was and i was just blown away by her story and just how misunderstood she was you remind me of her thank you she was this gorgeous movie star that that did this um sort of like risque scene and got all this like negative attention and then she was an inventor she was a businesswoman she like and you know she was like designing model airplanes but she was so gorgeous nobody really took her seriously and she was kind of like be like i've always thought of you as like a hedy lamarr thank you yeah what was it like when you invented the airplane but i just mean like and and i almost think that like you in a way there's an advantage like i think there's been a disadvantage but now there's like i don't know i just feel like you've adapted so well this you're like okay think what you want i'm gonna be uh over here doing my like you've managed to make everything um uh benefit you and serve you like is that a muscle where you're like you know what i'm just this is gonna serve me this is gonna [ __ ] serve me i think so just like back in the day when people would like underestimate me i felt sometimes i would learn a lot more about people because they didn't realize that i understood what was happening so it was easier to read people because they thought it was just going over my head but really i was watching everything you're creepy man that's she's a little sneak in the corner just like you're underestimating me i'm just that's what i feel like you're like studying people you know it's like do it's like do not conflate my aquarium my my kindness with weakness do not conflate my silence you know so it's like silence people on women they project what they're going to project their sex of [ __ ] and it's just like so interesting to me what everyone projected on you and now to know that you were just like plotting and calculating and it's just like it's so funny to me that like that whole time you're just like i'm just building an empire y'all can project whatever the [ __ ] you want and i'm just catching my checks like i just that's so dope instead of like focusing on the negative you know like that's all we can do life's too short have fun so gross how short life is i know you know um i love you we only have 10 minutes left with you i will say for life to be so short the impression you made in such a short amount of time yeah is just wild i mean wild and can i tell you something i actually do because you know i i saw i mean i lived on we were neighbors in what 2005 or something six we did not know each other you lived in her guest house i squatted in your gut's house for you i have something to tell you um and uh i remember i'd see these car like it was physically dangerous like you were in physical danger all the time i just remember being like i couldn't get to my house because of all the cars like this was a time where it was um physically dangerous to be famous i remember going oh this is going to be like a princess diana situation you know that's how paparazzi were out of control it was wild that street like yeah it was insane yeah like 50 cars it felt like like a red carpet every time i left my house or just be like all of them like lined up from the moment i would leave my house follow me all day and night it was crazy but it's like you seem to have this and i think we all need to figure out like what our um compasses in terms of adversity when you're going like this sucks but it's gonna benefit me in the long run it seems like you really know when you're like okay this sucks it's gonna benefit me in the long run you know what i'm saying and knowing when adversity is gonna be positive or negative just like yeah but the truth is like there are tons of we can go and say like there are many many um children of celebrities or people in the know that could not have done what you did and that's the thing it's like we can we can paint this picture of like oh well she was born in air it doesn't matter because there was only one of you and everything you did was very specific it was very like it could it's not something that's replicated if it was there'd be a 50-60 of you yeah but there's not yeah it's wild and that's just like really wild to think about one person just doesn't want to say i look like a um uh like a someone who was i look like someone who was molested on the scientology ship me i don't need that when you call me on the phone yes you have a big fan hi we were just talking about you um you guys having a little podcast yes i just said what are you watching and she started talking about your show and i said stop talking about he doesn't need any more awards or viewers we're cutting that we're cutting that part of the segment well thank you for watching the show i'm obsessed it's the best thing on tv like congrats you killed it thank you so much we're cutting that no you're not cutting it cutting it cutting it we're good oh my god um i loved your documentary it was really really necessary um and i hope you guys were talking about it and talking about some fun wonderful things thank you i appreciate whitney get out of the shot [Laughter] i feel like look what is this outfit i panicked when it's a weird it's like a bad sailor moon situation i'm so sorry i think i got it from david rose's closet you should be there no i don't know i would say i think paris is closer to david rose's closet than you are okay you've got a black and white situation that's looking really beautiful on camera i don't know what that unicorn nonsense is what did i do we have to reshoot this whole interview i've been wearing this whole time what is this i look insane i look like a sad boy in the 20s i've just stuck a fork in a socket so that's how you're catching me um well enjoy the rest of your chat it was very nice thank you for watching and um keep it up please thank you babe i can't talk right now gotta i gotta go stop calling me i gotta go stop calling me god i [ __ ] love him iconic yeah so good and i think that you know and something that's sweet to hear him so he liked my movie so you're also making me realize that it's like my i've look i made my car making fun of people making jokes being like you're making me realize like and dan is one of those two he dan levy from [ __ ] street kindness can be funny yeah you can have a good heart and be funny i grew up learning like you have to be mean you have to be nasty comedy has to be negative that still is funny but like there is you know i'm learning like heartwarming i think we're going to next what time it plays like the roast we're all agreeing yes that we can be mean there that was like a roasts were you're showing up and everyone knows the rules we're all eviscerating each other and nothing's personal we always took it personal i cried for two hours after every roast you know but um but you agreed to it yes so we've all agreed yes yes so but like at a comedy club if you're buying a ticket and you come to enjoy someone yeah being mean to you is very strange totally it's a we it's a weird thing now i'm finding myself like in this new world of like oh yeah that's kind of like i just hurt someone you know like it's it's it's finding that line as a comedian moving forward humane comedy like humane funny but not um careful yeah funny funny but not careful that's exactly the way to put it because careful comedy is just not funny but um uh it's just an inch it's interesting to see the evolution and it's like you've been at a weird crux of of illuminating this yeah in a big way definitely i mean it's kind of wild like it's just kind of wild that you've been like a part of this like history of comedy in a weird way and like what this pivot is about to look like it's kind of insane and it's sort of like held a mirror up to all of our internalized you know misogynist you know whatever it's like you've helped us evolve as a species you know and like look at ourselves it's good i think i'm happy for the people who you know i had to go through a lot and be like treated cruelly and like it was really hard but i'm happy that things are changing now so that other young girls don't have to go through that same thing because it hurts when you know people are being mean and making jokes on your expense and it's always that everyone's got on a different scale whether it's that one bully at school in front of two people or if you're the most famous person in the world and you're you know it's like it's like it's you have to be in on the joke yeah interesting i mean it's just like i mean anything i mean like like the simple life do you think that would happen today i think people would try to copy it but it wouldn't be what it was it's just like a one-of-a-kind thing it was like a moment in time yeah it was such a moment in time do you did you ever do a scripted show i remember when we were doing um i was doing some shows and there was like it was everyone would say like look at paris look like everyone just wanted to get you on their show for like sweet i did like cameos that's right you would like pop in on there yeah yeah do you have good girlfriends not very very good but some people i trust it's just hard i've just had so many girls just use me and talk behind my back or just do things that are just not what a friend would do so and when you have when you're so tight with a sister it's really hard you know what i mean you'll just go to her yeah right and nikki's very protective of me and she's like a good read of people yeah yeah it's tricky because i um uh like are you sharing friends with carter do you have friends like do you guys have similar friends right we just hang out with each other we're just best friends and we're always together and we hang out with his family a lot and my family mm-hmm but i don't know especially since quarantine there's not uh we just stay at home yeah are you able to have platonic guy friends well yeah because i'm engaged no i just mean like in general like once you get engaged like i'm always interested in like you know once we how you know which guys have to go you know yeah there's definitely a lot of people i just wouldn't hang out with because i think it's disrespectful yeah see that's what i need to get into where it's just like there's certain obstacles and respect things yeah podcast news music coming yes when i just released a music video on valentine's day called heartbeat yes which carter is in which she's the type that would never be anything like that but i was like please literally watching this i'm sorry carter is so hot he's such a like businessman i would have such a hard time so her her um my dude is like a vet too with like a real job and he'll come home and he'll be doing something like doing your big business like it's just like he's like your dude is such a business man i know i love it it's so it's so hot um okay what else what were we talking about what else is going to um uh uh coming out you what you don't need us to promote you i don't know what am i doing you guys can follow her on parishhilton.com uh yeah i just launched my new website calm and my new podcast this is paris the iheart you're having fun i love it so good and um my 29th fragrance just came out 29th fragrance what's it called pink rush good smells beautiful and a new makeup line is coming out and then i have 19 product lines so all those new lines are always coming out and yeah writing my book right now yes wait you know benton just told me sometimes uh makeup on amazon is fake makeup on amazon makeup like if you order makeup online it might be fake well yeah like you know like like counterfeit yeah counterfeit like they'll be like because you know some things are just exclusive to other places okay some people may have bought it and replaced it or some people may be like selling their like version of it well people come in all the time and when i worked at mac and they would return but i i need to return this and we'd be like this isn't real and like counterfeit like max right but this is just a sticker from a different product of this and then it was just they're really like that's crazy i did it with dip tea candles remember i ordered all those dip tea candles and they weren't dipped in they were just somebody used them and just melted her the case yeah like there's a lot you know so it's just the makeup world is so fast we had a lady come back and uh return a jar of moisturizer but she refilled it little mayonnaise of lemaire she took my she's it was mac moisturizer and my manager went this is mayonnaise oh my god oh then what do you do to your skin and then we're gonna let you go i have my skincare line called paris hilton pro dna why don't i have that why not i'm gonna give it to you get it in my body okay and i stay out of the sun and i get facials and well that's how i stay and you make you um reduce stress in your life and you have someone that yeah for sure like that makes a huge difference it's so interesting when you see someone that's in love with someone that doesn't make their life hard and they look better than they've ever looked likely you look so rested and healthy like you look like you're in a relationship with a guy that doesn't do dumb i know like the royal family gee what throwing grenades but like um uh you know what i mean like you're in something healthy and it's obvious thank you glowing yes sir i love you you're glowing too i'm not i'm just hot and sweaty because i wore this weird sweatshirt for you and now i'm so hot i don't even know what i'm doing um i love you so much we're gonna make you come back a billion times um or uh we'll be um paris hilton's on your pot do you own this podcast are you our boss i'm just curious is this your podcast is there you here to tell is that why you came today yes um and uh and also you did not need to come today there's you don't need this you're totally you walk the walk and you show up for people and you like you know i don't think we're you know you're not this isn't gonna get great like you know pay you money like you're doing this out of the kindness of your heart and i appreciate that and that's awesome would you like a jelly bean on your way out okay one last jelly bean we'll end on a jelly bean kill myself okay one last jelly bean no don't log you can't look okay okay you on your one last jelly bean do a white one like this yeah pure white with no speckles oh my god i don't know why i have such a bad reaction to these oh my mine was actually good marshmallow yeah no i got coconut what was your spoiled milk such a bummer and such a bummer oh my god wow you're so lucky at least i got my taste back post covered cause i know my taste back i love you guys um don't ride elephants um i love you i love you i love you i am these very awkwardly loves it i guess [Applause]

Channel: Whitney Cummings

Views: 213,970

Rating: 4.6188707 out of 5

Keywords: whitney cummings, comedian, standup, female comic, female podcast, good for you podcast, podcast, stand up

Id: I2oEW-ptF4s

Length: 126min 15sec (7575 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 07 2021