Enneagram: Subtypes of Type 8

hey what's up guys thank you for joining me today we're gonna be talking about Enneagram type 8 we're gonna be looking at the three subtypes the self-preservation social and sexual subtypes or instincts of type 8 and it's gonna be a great video sometimes you might might read something about an 8 and you think to yourself well that doesn't sound like me or that doesn't sound like the person I know and love that that is obviously an 8 so it can be because maybe sometimes you're looking at different subtypes and so if sometimes you read or hear something about an 8 and you think that really doesn't resonate with me it may be because of the unique differences between the subtypes so we're gonna explore that today it's gonna be a great video thank you for joining me before we get started I just want to point to the description below that you can check out my website Tamla Hugh calm I got a lot of great information there for you all so you can book coaching appointments I do coaching 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have weaknesses and need support from others and so this eight is oriented toward strength in terms of if I acquire everything that I need in life then I won't need to depend on others this 8 can sometimes look like a 5 because fives you know minimize their needs and this 8 doesn't minimize their needs they just really are absolutely positive and confident in themselves that they're able to supply all of their needs so they don't want to depend on others they don't want to be weak they don't want to think of themselves as dependent on others and so they are oriented their attention is oriented to what do I need to do to make sure I get what I need in life or what I want in life so this can cause them to look very impatient it could cause them to to maybe have tantrums to be pushy to grab things to want to control things ordering others around they their lust is expressed in the need to obtain whatever they think they might need in life you know all eights are dealing with lust that's the passion or the sin of the eight is lust lust can be described as you know the desire for more or the desire for things or the desire you know for intensity I think lust is good to understand it as you know things and sometimes people exist for my use and my consumption that's a really good way to think about lust a bad thing lust it's good to think of it in that way is that things and sometimes people or even experiences exist for my taking my exploitation and my usage and so this person is oriented their lust is oriented toward I need to make sure I have enough things I have enough money in the bank I have enough financial resources that I don't have a dependency on others so they want to be strong bold they are relatively fearless and they have an intolerance with not having their needs quote-unquote needs sometimes maybe once met and so this can bring about a kind of ruthlessness in this eight and make them sort of appear you know ruthless to get what they want in life they can be direct and powerful as they are on a quest to pursue those things that they feel that they need in order to be independent that's probably a very important powerful word for this eight is the need for independence they're concerned with material security they are willing to take revenge sometimes not really even understanding maybe why they feel the impulse to take revenge just knowing that that other person needs to pay for what was done and I think to some degree all eighths kind of share that sense of like blame and who is to blame for this situation and who needs revenge you know in acted upon them eighths are an anger type and they're a visible anger type it's obvious you know with them a little bit more than for example 9/8 you know kind of give back they bounce the anger back at you and they they all tend to kind of translate their other emotions into anger if you if something were to happen in their life that makes them feel sad or or in insecure or if some event takes place that makes them feel dependent on others or at the mercy of somebody else's agenda or the mercy of somebody else's calendar or environment then that's probably going to get translated as anger in the aid they're just gonna feel a sense of frustration and anger and who's to blame for this and why wasn't I informed and how come you didn't tell me and this eight is going to feel that need for revenge sometimes without really thinking about why they does that person really deserve you know any kind of blame maybe this is just an unfortunate circumstance maybe maybe the store just happens to be closed on on Tuesdays and nobody needs to be punished because of that fact maybe I should have checked the calendar online to see if this door was even open the day they have an inclination toward gaining wealth and acquiring resources a self-preservation I mean here that preservation they want to preserve themselves they want to feel financially secure and no one is going to stand in my way of being financially secure so they go after what they want they see what they want and they go after it and they again this self preservation 8 tends to be a little bit quiet about that they don't necessarily feel any need to make their needs known verbally because they're not going to necessarily depend on you to get those needs met and they're certainly not going to feel any need to explain themselves and what they're doing to anyone else so they know how to get what they want and they know how to get the upper hand in negotiating so they might be really good wheelers and dealers in terms of negotiating you know the art of the deal okay more about that later all right so they look for ways to satisfy their needs and to get things done to get stuff done and again not a lot of you know sense of responsibility or fuss and explaining themselves to others and it may not wait for others to get on board and in this regard all eights could benefit from this key word okay listen closely I know as an eight you don't necessarily want to take in what I have to say to you because you know best all right but listen carefully this is a word that could change your life as an eight pause that word pause that word just stopped for a moment because all eights tend to move into action first whatever whatever situation it is whether it's I see something I need I move to go get it or I see somebody that needs to be defended so I'm going to step in and and and and get in the middle of this fight or I see some environment that needs a leader or need some kind of guidance I'm going to step in and take control of this situation whatever the impulse hits you to move to action the eight would always almost always benefit from just pausing it doesn't mean stop pauses not stop pauses just reflect just take a moment and think about it just take a moment and just hold on a second okay under stress move to your five and just pause withdraw for a moment and get the facts withdraw for a moment and get the information make sure that you're acting on real information not just gut instinct not just impulse you would do well to just pause and reflect and make sure that that your impulse isn't just you know to control a situation or because you're angry or because you feel this need for intensity make sure that the action that you take is actually go to to helpful make sure that it's helpful to the situation and not harmful to the situation okay so let's keep going with the self-preservation a this eight can look like a five because they can tend to be a little bit quiet a little bit reserved a little bit emotionally detached okay that's how you can be ruthless because you don't necessarily feel pity on stupid and so we want to go after stupid we want to go after incompetence and we would like to destroy those that are incompetent and those that are being foolish and those that won't take initiative and those that are lazy and those that are and fill in the gap with a long list of people that can be frustrating in life and so when you detach from that emotion and you see something that you want and you quietly work to get it so that you won't be dependent on others and don't have to sense any needs it can make you look a little bit like a five okay um let's see what else they don't need a large this this eight doesn't necessarily need a large sphere of influence they don't necessarily need to be the bank CEO you know or the the CEO of the company although a lot of aides are CEOs because they're willing to take action they're willing to trust their instincts and they don't doubt themselves and so when you have that confidence you know that boldness that assertiveness it moves you to the top of the line a lot of times well this this eight doesn't necessarily need a large sphere of influence they can be very content with a small maybe just their family some small little group that they are in charge of that they have responsibility for so they don't necessarily need a big sphere of influence but they're very protective they can be very protective all the eight one of the terms for the eight is the protector you'll see I'm gonna call the Challenger or the protector that protective you know aspect is true of all eighths okay they have that sense to protect what's theirs all right and there's kind of that lust the people are not necessarily yours okay as much as I love my kids and call them my kids I have to sometimes give those kids back up to the Lord and say Lord maybe I'm powerless you know over this child's behavior maybe I'm powerless over this child's health and so lord I have to surrender this that's a hard word for ace to surrender okay so pause surrender these are difficult concepts for eights but important if you're going to be healthy that you learn to pause and that you learn to surrender what you can't control there's some things in life you can't control and you just have to let go of and the more you fight it the more resistant you are the things you can't control the more pain and suffering you will experience in life and you will bring into life so control what you can control okay but some things are not necessarily to be controlled you can you can state your desire but to control them would be maybe manipulative okay or aggressive all right so let's keep going this eight like all eight doesn't necessarily want to be in touch with their weakness this eight particularly doesn't want to show emotion the sexual aid is much more emotional I think much more willing to demonstrate straight their emotions and let you see their emotions this one's going to be more reserved hold it in a little bit more like a five especially anything that relates to vulnerability all eighths are out of touch with their vulnerability they get their needs met but have trouble asking for help okay they are less communicative of the eights they get things done but don't necessarily feel their need to explain themselves to others they're comfortable making decisions and taking action they may not wait for others to get on board or others to understand you know what they're doing they could be quiet and strong they know how to do business they know how to get the upper hand in the situation they devalue their feelings again especially vulnerable feelings they avoid sharing information about themselves they have no tolerance for weakness or incompetence I don't think any 8 has tolerance for weakness or incompetence the social 8 that we'll see in just a minute is drawn to people that are legitimately in need but even social eights have no tolerance for weakness or laziness or incompetence incompetence is different than inability okay so let's keep going the focus of this 8 attention is on getting things done and getting away with things getting away with things they have an exaggerated over focus on taking care of themselves and meeting their own needs they come across to others sometimes as selfish sometimes as temper tantrums as pushy as grabby as controlling as all those things I've said before they are extremely able to meet it they feel that they are extremely able to meet any of their own needs to satisfy any needs and will disqualify any feelings or any people or any ideas or institutions that oppose their desires or oppose what they want in life so the least expressive of the eighth's then it may not talk a whole lot they may not reveal very much about themselves again like a 5 being a little stingy with their emotions stingy with their praise stingy with with a conversation about who they are and what they want in life they may not open up and share a lot of that now whose some good examples of this kind of eight you know I'm not sure I have thought and thought and thought about eight look I wrote down I've got four pages of notes today and look this is just the page of all the people I came up with then I think are eight okay and honestly it's a challenge it really is I think I can I think I can identify the social eights a lot better than the other ones um so the self-preservation eight okay I kind of think of Stanley on the office you know Stanley who doesn't say much but he's gonna do what he wants to do and he's only there for a paycheck he's only there to meet his financial needs he's only there for pretzel day and he's quiet and nobody's gonna stand in his way of what he wants he's not necessarily trying to seek power like a sexual aid he's not necessarily fighting for the defenseless like a social 8 he's just kind of tuned in to his own needs and wants and doesn't want anybody to force him to do what he doesn't want to do and that way he can look like a 9 a little bit but I think he's an 8 because when you start pushing on him at all he's got a strong push back you could make an argument that he's a 9 wing 8 but I think he's an 8 wing 9 in a self-preservation 8 I think you could make a case for deacon on King of Queens was being this kind of an 8 I think you could make a case for Frank Barone on Everybody Loves Raymond the grandpa you know on that show he's not necessarily trying to defend the weak he's not necessarily trying to gain power over anyone he just wants you know his his to be left alone and to do what he wants to do and he's not what he's not afraid of a fight he's not afraid of a conflict he'll bring the conflict but I don't know I'm really I'm really not not sure about this the examples that you would find in a book are just not helpful so I'm trying to think through all the eighths that I can think of and and do my best trying to place them if you guys have ever watched NYPD Blue and you remember Andy Dennis Franz the character that plays Andy on that show he's kind of an alcoholic and you could see him as a socialite wanting to defend the powerless I don't necessarily he he could be any of them I mean he could be eights can sometimes be difficult to type but Andy is definitely an 8 and I think that makes I've only seen that show a couple of times but I think that is kind of like part of the plotline is you've got Andy on the one hand who's an eighth sort of the bad cop the rogue cop and again eighths aren't necessarily afraid to be thought of as the bad cop or the rogue cop you know to sort of leave me in the room with the criminal for 30 minutes and I'll get the information okay and then you've got what's the other guy David Caruso I forget his name in the show but he's kind of a1 you know and you got this dichotomy between follow the guidelines and the rules and the other cop Andy who's going to do things in his own way and he's gonna you know shove a toupee in a guy's mouth and put a gun in his mouth and you know take control of the situation so I don't know that it's it's just difficult and I'm just gonna admit that that it's difficult sometimes to to know the differences between between the eights I think the social aides on the counter eight let's move to that I think the social eights a little easier to distinguish from the other to the self-preservation in the sexual aid can be a little complicated a little challenging to know the difference just think are they quiet and do they keep their emotions to themselves then it might be a self-preservation they look five-ish do they look you know more intellectual and then look at are they more expressive and bombastic or do they have more charisma and charm and sort of manipulate people into following them and obeying them and wanting to please them then they might be the sexual aid so I'll just admit it's a challenge so let's move on to the social I think that one's a little easier to to identify because they're the counter eight they go against the impulse against some of the impulse of lust and I think the they'll cave so they're called the the group leader or you know the friendship eight or the Solidarity eight or the camaraderie eight the social causes eight immediately I think of Robin Hood okay so I'm just gonna start with that and then we'll look at all the I think of Robin Hood you know fight against those in power take from those that are oppressing the weak and and give back to the defenseless help the defenseless so the count earnest of this eight is they are all eights contend to be antisocial okay they're not in it to impress people they're not in it to to get their worth in value or their esteem from all their colleagues okay but this is the social anti-social okay so this is the social eight this eight wants to stay connected wants to be loyal wants to be friendly the females can often look like twos the males can sometimes look like nines they can boast sometimes look like sixes because they they sometimes suppress or push down their desire to to display anger or their desire to get even or their desire to enact a vengeance they can sometimes suppress that in order to maintain harmony in order to maintain camaraderie in order to be loyal in order to be friendly okay now that being said they do have that same fight in them but it's sort of targeted at those that would seek to what they would say would be oppressed the innocent and so their focus of their attention is on who is misusing power who is misusing power to oppress someone else and then under the guise of giving nurture and care and sub or to that innocent victim now I have permission than to enact my rage anger and vengeance and to destroy the enemy and so you can look at that from a negative aspect as this gives you the excuse or this gives you the opportunity or the justification to you know be strong and powerful and to control the environment which all hates want to control their environment right you say what do you mean by that put something on their calendar and don't tell them you know sign them up for some meeting they don't want to go to and you'll see really quickly that they don't appreciate that they want to control their own environment they don't want someone else ordering them around and telling them you know what they're going to do with their day okay so from a positive aspect if we look at it from the positive aspect this person is like a Robin Hood in that they are motivated to demonstrate care and concern in a very strong and powerful way so they can look like it too in that they want to be nurturing and compassionate and caring and fight for the underdog and you know bring justice and help the oppressed they can look like it too only they're going to do it in an eight-way they're gonna do it in a let's go you know storm the gates and overthrow the oppressor it's in a fighting combative way though okay so I guess what I'm saying is like if you want somebody to feel sorry for you and bring you lasagna because you know you are down or you are out or you are even lazy you know call it - and they'll bring you the lasagna okay if you want somebody to help you get over your addiction of eating lasagna and you need somebody to kick you in the rear end and motivate you to get off your butt and do it for yourself and quit feeling sorry for yourself then call an eighth okay because they're the ones that are going to kick your rear and help you that's how they're helping you think Jillian Michaels okay that's an eight she's not gonna bake lasagna for you she's gonna yell at you as a way of empowering you to to do better and to stand up for yourself you can you can just feel the eight energy in this video presentation I can I'm a seven wing six but I have that wing eight okay and so just in presenting you know this video I can feel myself needing to what pause huh needing to take a break and need to take a breath and just come back to my seven as for a second I need to get out of this eight zone stay in my lane I'm a seven stay in my lane I need to hear something stupid I need to say something stupid and have a stupid joke so I can relax for a second okay cuz I'm getting to to a dish alright so let's let's continue to be observers of eight all right so the socially they want to be the champion of the people and that's how they would see themselves they would be surprised probably when people say that they're coming on strong like oh my goodness you're coming on strong can you knock it down a notch I mean not everything's a fight I think this eight would be surprised like why is everybody say I'm too much for them because in their desire to be supportive and in their desire to be helpful which is what they would see it as they could come across as being in your business you know stepping over the line and being assertive so this is the least aggressive of the eight but they're still daggone assertive okay so they're going to be assertive in other words they're going to get up in people's business and they're going to here's the here's the lust and intensity of this eight they're going to challenge the system okay it's within them to do that they can't help but do that they're going to challenge the way things are being done they are enemies of status quo all eighths are and this one is as well maybe more so because status quo can destructive to people and when they see that these systems of power or these systems of doing things or these procedures these guidelines that are in place that they are actually demotivating people and you know people are getting fired and and people are losing their jobs and people are you know scared and people are panicked this aid is going to challenge that structure and they're only going to see themselves as trying to be helpful they're only going to see the positive side of it is I'm stepping up and I'm speaking up for those that can't or won't speak up for themselves and I'm just trying to help I'm just trying to use my power to to stand up for somebody who's powerless or they might go to the powerless and try to challenge them to be willing to stand in their own power so they may help by trying to empower others and a lot of times when other people talk about empowering others like when threes talk about empowering others they mean you know we're going to open up the doors so that you have more permission to make decisions for yourself when an eight especially a socially thinks about empowering others it's kind of like you know putting them in a chokehold until that person starts to fight back you know like when you when you get a chick that's gonna break out of an egg you know so that first boundary that that chick encounters that that she'll that it has to break out of and it strengthens the chick so that now it can stand on its own two feet and you know be a chicken which is a bad example I'm talking about being a chicken sometimes these analogies don't always go where you want them to go but the eight can kind this social aid can kind of maybe see themselves as being the shell and I'm going to to put a little pressure on you to get you to to stand up for yourself and so that pressure can look like arguments that pressure can look like challenges you know when you start to talk about what you want to do in life and and what you think is right and what you think is wrong and your political views or your religious views this eight might lean in like an eggshell to start squeezing in a little bit on you and go to that five and doing a little bit of investigating as a way to test you do you relieve are you really wet ready to stand up for yourself are you really ready to to go out in public and make your voice known if not maybe I need to do a little squeezing on you to see if you're ready to you know face this great big scary world this is a big world out there and you need to only the strong survive that's the way and eight things only the strong survive it I'm not going to be weak and I don't want you to be weak either now when they recognize that you are defenseless and powerless then that eight will step in they'll feel an impulse to step in and go to bat for you if they can empower you to stand up for yourself that's even better now saying all that this eight although they you know want to step up for the powerless and defend the powerless they don't necessarily want to wipe their noses okay so again they're not a - they don't want to be what do you want to say codependent on these people they don't want to be bothered with them okay they don't want to wipe their noses and chase after them or deal with these people but they they kind of see these people as somebody needs to step up for them and they're powerful and they're not afraid to stand up against Authority so it gives them like the permission to go do what the impulse is is to go be a challenger but again they won't necessarily want to you know hold that person's hand and wipe their nose for the next ten years you know and take care of that person especially if that person is if they decide they're not defenseless they're just incompetent this eight has no tolerance for laziness or incompetence and they'll be able to determine real quick whether you are truly whether you are truly helpless or whether you are choosing to be helpless sometimes you know other types might be like a9 could probably be trapped in some kind of relationship where they are an enabler you know a 2 for a while might get trapped in sort of an enabler enabler position I can see where a6 might get trapped for awhile into you know other personality types might get sort of trapped in that and becoming an enabler position I don't think any eights gonna be an enabler in a sense of like I'll I'll take care of you so that you don't have to take care of yourself I think all eights you know are going to push against that and they're gonna recognize pretty quick is this person taking advantage of me because if they're pretending to be helpless so that I'll stand up for them nope that's not gonna work you got to be truly you know in dire straits if Robin Hood is going to come in and help you if you're just lazy and pretending then they're gonna see through that okay all right so this this seven again is more social they're more probably extroverted they're probably more outgoing friendly warm charming especially in groups okay and you get this eight in a group they might look like a seven or they might just piece out like a nine and not cause any problems depending on what their dominant wing is but in a group they tend to feel more relaxed when they get one-on-one with people this eight might get a little bit nervous like wait wait wait wait you know this is getting too intense we want to talk about feelings you want to talk about you know dreams and vulnerable inner ability and and feelings and all this kind of stuff no no no no and then that might want to hit the eject button like I got to get out of here but in a group you'll see them relax more and really kind of come down to earth and and be in their own skin a little bit better and they may not necessarily seek out leadership positions but when they see their group as floundering and they need some guidance this AIT's gonna feel compelled to step up to the plate and challenge the system and take leadership and take responsibility and again it's not necessarily their seeking out responsibility they're not a one okay so they aren't necessarily seeking out responsibility they just see that you know this group is stuck this group is not going in the right direction and so these people need some guidance and they need some leadership now do I want my calendar tied up with these people no no I don't want my calendar tied up with these people I don't want to be responsible for them they need to be responsible for themselves they need to grow up be responsible for themselves but since nobody else will move to action and take take leadership well then I'll guess I'll take leadership and that's often how eighths particularly I think the socially ends up in positions of leadership is because they feel compelled to help and the group recognizes this person is a powerful person and they're willing to stand up to the boss and you know say what islands are on everybody's mind but nobody has the courage to say this eight will just get up and say it then we all elect Marti to be in charge and Marty's like okay well you know if the but then I don't think Marty necessarily wants to hold everybody's hand either okay let's see no tolerance for annoying or weak or incompetent people but they will fight on behalf of the oppressed or who they believe is being not given a fair deal they want to speak up for that person and I think you know I said they can look like a two or a nine or a six I think sixes are like that too a lot of sixes you know are for the underdog six is very much or for the common man and I think this eight is for the underdog or for the common man they are good these socialites are good at being mentors and taking people under their wing you know let me teach you everything I know that kind of thinking I'm going to teach you everything I know again I'm gonna make a man out of you I'm gonna make you stand on your own two feet I'm gonna take this poor helpless defenseless person that's been oppressed and abuse I'm gonna make a man out of them I don't mean any gender fights with that stuff I'm just saying you know they're going to make this person strong okay they're going to make this person they're going to share their strength again remember sixes share their doubts and questions 7s share their joy and enthusiasm okay and this eight wants to share their strengths and empower people by the way there's a whole lot of Christian teachers that are really popular that are eights they may be social eights I don't know they probably are but like think Beth Moore you guys that listen to preachers Beth Moore I think Francis Chan TD jakes Joyce Meyer these are all eights and it's funny because they they're good they're good communicators but it's funny the lot of those messages they give is all eight stuff I mean you could write it right out of the books on the inia Graham about resisting fear and not giving in to the temptation to be afraid and do things even though you're afraid and step out in faith and and don't succumb to the approval of others and and everybody listens to them like oh this is so profound this person is oh I've never heard anything like this and they're almost just quoting out of the PlayBook of what it means to be a Nate this is very attractive you guys that are are eights you need to understand that you have something that is very attractive to the rest of us that sense of courage in that and that that lack of timidity and that boldness and that assertiveness you know we would all you know look at that and say you know I could use a little bit more of that in my life but that's true of all the types of the Uni Graham there's a lot about one that I I see is I could use a lot more of that responsibility and that desire to do the right thing and be good and there's a lot about the two that oh I wish I had that caring heart and that sympathetic you know a heart and the three to just accomplished accomplished and never you know never get tired and wake up early and go to bed late and just you know achieve goals and be handsome and muscular and strong and powerful and and there's so much about the four that I can appreciate to that be authentic to yourself and do what feels you know good to you and right for you and don't feel like you have to follow everybody else's you know lead and be your own person I mean every one of these types has these these beautiful attractive qualities about them but it's funny in in ministry to see you know these famous world famous speakers who are essentially just saying be more like an eight and everybody listens to them and thinks that's so profound that's so encouraging that's so empowering and it's like it's so eight its Jillian Michaels only from a pulpit you know only they're not yelling about eating right and exercise they're yelling about you know being doing you know something in purpose with your life so eight realize I mean you guys have this attractive quality about you when it's managed well if you can learn to pause if you learn to breathe if you can learn to tone it down and recognize when it's time to fight and when it's time to just be a person when it's time to when there is no fight when you don't have to be bold and powerful and strong and you can just you can just relax if you can learn to balance that out a little bit you know go to five and get the more information and go to two and use your power to to care and be helpful and lean on nine and say you know maybe this is not my fight maybe everything's gonna be okay maybe I can relax maybe I can just you know unwind and or go to seven and maybe I can just enjoy what I'm doing right now rather than you know then fighting against it or being compelled to blame somebody maybe I can just enjoy what I'm doing alright got off on a little bit of a tangent there but it's all good stuff it's all good stuff so this eight has a hard time expressing their own vulnerability surprise surprise their innate right so this is kind of what the little bit of the shenanigan this eight does is you know they go after helping other people in their vulnerability in their times of weakness as a way of in a sense distracting away from their own need to talk about and think about their own weakness and vulnerability in other words think about it like this it's kind of like when you see somebody when you see a child that's being neglected or a child that's being mistreated okay and this 8 immediately feels the impulse to who's doing this this needs to stop and they'll get right in the face of that you know neglectful parent and to them out or whatever okay what is that coming from that need to step in and protect do you know what it's like to feel like that defenseless child see that's what this eight doesn't want to talk about they don't want to talk about what it feels like to be scared and alone and in need and unloved and weak and powerless and at the mercy of other people's mess but what is it that compels this eight to be so bold in the face of that kind of treatment if it's not that they know what it feels like or they're afraid of what it feels like and they don't want anybody else to feel that that's nothing to to be embarrassed about that's a great thing and it doesn't make you weak to admit or to share that with somebody else it it helps us understand why you might come across so aggressive and come across so passionately if we could see that richness there but again this eight you know might be over focused on helping others as in a sense so that they don't have to really address acknowledge and talk about their own sense of weakness and vulnerability so they're adept at detecting situations in which people are being exploited and persecuted by those who hold the power and then they feel compelled to act in order to protect them and they may lose themselves in constant action and again need to cause so who are some examples of this kind of 1/8 well I think a little Orphan Annie Little Orphan Annie is a good example of this 8th in my opinion I think pull dark if you've ever watched the Poldark series on on PBS or masterpiece or whatever it is it's a great great series it's 1/8 married to a 2 so if you are an 8 married to a 2 which is a pretty common combination Poldark might be a great series for you to watch just to enjoy that dynamic of 1/8 with a - I think back to the old days Little House on the Prairie Charles Ingalls is probably this kind of 1/8 paw you know Sean Hannity if you watch news is going to defend and fight for you know what he thinks are the defenseless against the powers that he doesn't like again I mentioned Jillian Michaels I think maybe dr. Phil I think dr. Phil you could make a good case that dr. Phil was this kind of an 8 because a lot of his shows are you know they bring a family in and there's one person that's kind of the oppressor and then in a very calm way you know dr. Phil will look at that family and say do you see what this person is doing do you see what you're doing to your family he doesn't do it in a two way like in anger and in frustration it's very calm and it's very collected he's not going to a place of stress when he's confronting this he's very calm and in confronting it and I think you might make a case that Martin Luther King jr. is this kind of an 8 you know standing up to the oppressors for the good of the oppressed okay so let's move on to the last one the sexual 8 what is called the commander the possession and surrender 8 the monarch 8 and this is a powerful powerful person okay this is a dynamic person this person is a force to be reckoned with okay I like to this one maybe the mob boss okay and all eights to in a sense have that sort of sense of mafia about them like this is my family and in my family we all take care of each other and we all protect each other and we can all harass each other but don't you on the outside think that you can harass anybody in my family without getting you know whacked and so this a in particular I think has that kind of mob boss you know sort of presence about them I can all eat kind of have that culture of the Mafia to them the sevens we're the culture of Peter Pan it's so interesting the seven is the type that refuses to grow up right next to the eight that you know had to grow up too early so sevens and eights could learn a lot if we'd leaned on each other and blend with each other a little bit maybe we could just be a good person maybe we could just between the two of us if we could just blend together maybe we could just you know be an okay person on our own we can both be a little bit a lot to deal with both are assertive types right and so okay so let's talk about the commander eight this person is passionate this person is charismatic this person walks into a room and you know it this person walks into a room and they expect that things are going to be changed now that they are here okay this person takes over this person is a controller this person no that's not all bad okay that's not all bad sometimes you need this kind of person people are are either magnetically pulled to this eight or completely repelled by this eight to some degree that's true of all aids people are magnetically pulled to you because of your charm charisma and power and then there's maybe other people that are repelled by that and and want nothing to do with you okay so this a kind of feels a need for total domination of their environment and when it says possession or surrender I think the idea is if they can't be in absolute control of the situation then they want no control over it at all so I surrender it I give up I'm done and they go to five right because aids go to five and five is a withdrawal type and you'll see all aids when they're frustrated get to a point where they just withdraw and they just they're just done I'm done I'm out I quit I'm out of here I'm not gonna be in this situation and this particular eight if they can't control the situation then they don't want you know to be a part of the situation so this is the most rebellious of the eight the the most demonstrative and their feelings so the first one can look like a five because they might be kind of tight lipped while they go about outmaneuvering people that self-preservation eight is not gonna let people get in their way but they aren't necessarily gonna draw a lot of attention to what they're after and what they're doing and they're just gonna go about life doing what they want to do when they want to do it how they want to do it without necessarily a lot of fanfare okay they're focused on material things and on getting what they want the social PHY a social aid sorry is going to be more outgoing and friendly and warm and more expressive of their emotions particularly those positive emotions this a is going to be more demonstrative in their emotions but you're going to see a lot more anger you're gonna see a lot more of what you think of as eight characteristics okay that more dominant control power they're not going to with hold it they're not a counter eight okay they're not a counter type they are an eight and so they're going to demonstrate those things you think of eight more openly and more passionately and more directly without necessarily that impulse to temper themselves okay where the self preservation aid is focused on how do I get the things I want you know and the second one the social is focused on how do I fight for and protect my people in my tribe this one is focused on how do I gain control in the upper hand and gain power over this environment so it's more focused on power less focused on things okay whoo they want to possess everyone's attention this one's not quiet this 8 is fine with being seen as bad may even relish being seen as bad or as quote/unquote rogue all right they will go against the rules which all eights will but this one more openly will go against the rules or go against the norms the social norms go against the powers that be or the authorities you know with more determination and more openly go against those things they are whoo most likely to show their emotions and feel their emotions passionately and we'll take the shortest path to satisfy their desires ok so think the first one will take the shortest path to get what they need this one is more like I'll take the shortest path to get what I desire think like lust okay think like intensity this one's going to be more wired for the experiences of life the adrenaline you know chasing to eat all the cake to eat all of the cake and to experience life to the fullest that's probably the way they would describe it or the way they would think of it is they want to live passionately and live life to the fullest but it might just look like lust and gluttony is what it might look like to a person from the outside they may take pride in being bad over being rebellious against the traditional authorities and powers that be or conventional ways of doing things they could be the most colorful of the eights more power loving more magnetic a need for dominance they want people to completely surrender to them now again that sounds pretty bad doesn't it but there may be some situations where that that could be positive like think for example Judge Judy if you're the judge of a courtroom I think she's an 8 if you're the judge of a courtroom you ought to maybe live with the expect expectation that people should surrender or if you're the prison warden okay you might live with the expectation that them surrendering to your will creates the right environment in most of life though that's probably going to be considered sort of like you know a negative that you need people to surrender to your will and to the degree that you don't enforce that on others then we're very proud of you if you feel the impulse if you're a sexual 8 and you don't go around forcing people to surrender to your will then you should be proud of yourself okay that you don't act under all of that compulsion that you regulate yes that you self-regulate so we're very proud of you for self-regulating we're you know in a sense we ought to tell all the aides we appreciate how you self-regulate and don't what you don't do thank you for what you don't do because probably all hates at times would like to turn the tables over and you know drive out the moneychangers of life so to speak and the fact that you don't have a scene every time you feel upset or frustrated with the person in line in front of you who's being incompetent we ought to appreciate you for regulating yourself okay so this eight has a need for dominance and they kind of want to control the situation maybe want to control everyone and everything they look for pleasure in life they may indulge their appetites without limit again so when you kind of mix you know in lust with gluttony you can why if you're an 8 7 and you're a sexual 87 you're a lot to deal with okay hello I'll say it out loud you could be a lot to deal with if you are an 8 week seven for that matter in 89 but particularly an 8 week seven and you're a sexual 8 ok what's the magic word for you pause pause pause that is such a healing word doesn't mean stop it's such a healing word for all eights but particularly you calm down just a little bit and let people in your life catch up with you okay let people in your life you know be themselves you wouldn't like it if you had to be controlled by somebody else look at the shenanigan of this you don't want anybody to control you you don't want anybody to control your environment what gives you the right what gives you the right well because I'm powerful it dove and strong okay uh okay so you like to feel like you're in charge well maybe some of the people in your life might want to feel a little bit of that too okay and if you were really in charge then you wouldn't be afraid of other people having a little bit of power as well all right I think the social ad feels that a little bit this person can fill the room with their big energy they can dominate their environment they'll just talk louder and longer than others steamroller ok you're a steamroller do you remember what the animal is for the ate quiz on Sunday do you remember the animal for the ate it's the bull okay and the bull you know gets what they want by being strong by just pushing and shoving and controlling and being powerful and that can be exhausting that can be exhausting for you and you don't have to this is all impulse this is all compulsion you could lean on your nine and sort of calm yourself down a little bit nine is mr. Rogers okay eight nine is John Denver Bob Ross the painter happy tree happy tree you've got that wing go there please every once in a while go to that wing and just calm down okay you know go sit on the beach for a minute go to five just withdraw if you have to and you know go take a week and just relax okay all right intolerant of weak or incompetent or slow people wow that's a theme we've seen before they can inspire people with their passion and confidence they can have a hard time observing appropriate limits you know the eights and fours tend to live like the laws don't apply to me what makes you different what makes you what makes the laws not apply to you because you don't think they do I think a lot of these eighths probably don't grasp you know what the consequences of their actions might be they feel very powerful and bold and strong they're kind of jacking a person out he's kind of jacked up like on you know on like like sometimes people take drugs and they you know they go do things that that they wouldn't otherwise do because they feel this sense of power and strength people talk about that what with cocaine that it like gives you this strength like this you know this sense of being more powerful what's that song in a country song eight feet tall and bulletproof you drink until you're eight feet tall and bulletproof the eighth particularly this eighth kind of wants to live their life like they're eight feet tall and bulletproof but hey guys what's the reality all of us are mortal right we all have weaknesses and if you don't if you don't recognize this weakness about yourself then that's your greatest weakness is that you are also just a person you are mortal flesh and blood and to recognize the you are not always 8 feet tall and bulletproof is not a weakness it's a strength it's as strength to know your limitations it's a strength to know when enough is enough and if you don't learn to regulate and control yourself other people will that there's a fact of universe right there when you don't control yourself other people will move in and control you sometimes under the name of prison guard sometimes under the name of police officer sometimes under the name of Judge but other people will control you when you won't control yourself so we must learn to let some things go and that not everything is a fight and not everything is a challenge you know some events in life are just events in life and you learn to adapt to endure to persevere and not everything has to be blamed and fought against so this person and and and and innocence you should remember this - in what are you really in control of the blind spot for this 8 might be that they want to control the environment without controlling themselves does that make sense you want to control the environment you want to control everybody else but you can't control your temper why don't you work on controlling your temper there's where you could start learn to control your spending learn to control your appetites learn to control the swear words that are coming out of your mouth learn to control your diet learn to control your attitude see you want to control the company you want to control your family you want to control you know your Neighborhood Association but you don't control what you put in your own mouth maybe or what comes out of your mouth or control your anger so it's a little bit of a shenanigan to be focused on controlling everything else in life except yourself and if you've learned to control yourself again that's what we applaud great thank you you are a healthy eight because you don't always act in impulse which is true of all types the more we can disassociate from our personalities and stop acting under compulsion and impulse the healthier we could say we are so who are some eights that demonstrate this kind of sexual equality you know who comes to my mind Danny DeVito okay Joe Pesci think home alone Harry and Marv the real tall guy is Marv he's a nine okay and Joe Pesci plays Harry who's an eight who it's not enough you know to rob houses that's lust what you have should belong to me okay but then when the kid you know gets away with with turning them in then the second movie is all about taking revenge there's no need to chase this boy all around New York City except I need to take revenge and so in his anger and in his vengeance becomes his own worst enemy right so I think Joe Pesci is a good example Harry and Marv is a good example of an eight my daughter said Gordon Ramsay I don't know Gordon Ramsay very well but if you watch a lot of his shows gray says Gordon Ramsay is a good example of this kind of an eight I mentioned Judge Judy and let's see is there anybody else that I can just mention that is on the 8th register of my mind here that I haven't mentioned are already oh I know the classic eight we need to talk about just in a couple of minutes I know I'm over time here but Donald Trump now when I say Donald Trump there's going to be a reaction to that and what's interesting and why I say it can be hard to know which eight and eight is Donald Trump is a great example of this you could make the case very easily that Donald Trump is a self preservation aid you could say when is enough enough you're a billionaire how or condos how many more houses how many more you know beautiful cars how many more material things do you need before you feel independent he must be a self preservation eight because look at all that he has to acquire in order to feel like he has enough that he's not dependent ok well the people that hate Donald Trump would probably say oh no he's a sexual aid he's got to have power and dominance and control over his environment he has to have control over the microphone over the camera over public policy he will do whatever it takes it's not enough to run New York it's not enough to run his empire but now he has to become president of the United States just because he has to be in control of every situation and dominate every situation he must be a sexual aid and then the people that support him and think he's great would say oh no no he's a social aide look at him he goes to Washington to drain the swamp to fight the oppressors to fight the oppressive government in all parties doesn't matter because he's fighting for the American worker he's fighting for the underdog he's fighting for the Forgotten man he must be a socially and I could see how every one of those people could make their argument and it kind of makes sense so sometimes sometimes you just have to accept that maybe we don't know maybe maybe maybe we can't always you know cut this down into an exact science there's always a little bit of ambiguity with this because we're dealing with people we're dealing with people it's not scientific you know always like scientific facts because they're like super duper facts it's not enough just to be a fact it's a scientific fact and when you deal with people people grow people change people had adapt and they and they and they modify themselves and they mature and as something all of us can do we can all grow and mature and be healthier and you guys know what I'm gonna say to be healthy as to what be present to life and don't miss what's right in front of you and don't and recognize that not everything as a fight and if it is a fight is not necessarily your fight for eights that could be very empowering to just sometimes pause reflect think maybe let it go oh yeah in Merida I'm brave was also an eight see you guys later bye blessings

Channel: Dr. Tom LaHue

Views: 31,266

Rating: 4.9276237 out of 5

Keywords: enneagram, type 8, enneagram type 8, enneagram subtypes, instincts, marriage, family, parenting, home, love, personalities

Id: lnBp5SiQ-pY

Length: 64min 38sec (3878 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 23 2020