Enneagram: When Good Goes Bad For Type 8

hey what is up guys thank you for joining me this is doctor Lee you today we're gonna be talking about type 8 on the India gram we're gonna be talking about can aids be good leaders and the obvious answer that question is yes eight are somewhat natural-born leaders eights move to action first they are in the action group like nines and ones and eights want to know at the end of the day what do you want me to do how can we make take action what can we change how can we make this better so eights are natural-born action oriented people and since they're willing to take action they'll often step out first and when you step out first before everybody else and people follow you that makes you a leader so eights are very comfortable being leaders and it's a natural fit for them to be leaders and we want to talk today about some of the characteristics that are true about eight that make them good leaders but sometimes those very things that can make you a good leader can work against you when you overplay them they can become weaknesses and so this series of videos I'm making right now is when good goes bad for each type and so what are some of the things about an eight that are positives but when they're over done can actually work against them and work against their success you know when you fail to develop yourself and develop yourself you know holistically then you will tend to over rely on what works for you and since you don't develop yourself more fully you kind of overplay the same characteristics and those things can become problematic even for a type eight so today I want to go through a list of some things that that are strengths but can become weaknesses for type eight so let's look at the first one the first one is the ability to see the big picture okay eights are good at this they they're not going to get caught up in all the details they they hear the problem and they immediately start thinking of what needs to be done what action can we take and how can we resolve this conflict or resolve this problem and stay focused on what the agenda is stay focused on what the mission is and so they're able to sort of cut through all the garbage cut through all of them the Mickey Mouse and and get to what is it we're trying to accomplish as a company well here's the reasons we're failing let's change that let's move forward let's take action let's take bold action and they're able to you know just ask those bottom line questions like what's the product we're making and why isn't it working and who's to blame and what do we need to do to turn this around and they're not going to get caught up you know in all of the details and all the personality issues and all of the psychological drama that's going on they just want to get to the point and resolve the problem and fix it and let's move forward and so they're very big picture oriented they're also big impact oriented like whatever organization they're a part of why aren't we making a bigger difference why aren't we making a bigger impact how come we're not being more bold what action can we take to set ourselves apart to be the best the biggest and so they're they're focused on if I'm gonna give my energy to that I think the way the eight thinks is if I'm gonna give my energy to this then it needs to be worthwhile it needs to be something important don't put me in some office in a corner somewhere and don't expect me to talk don't expect me to just go along with every decision that's being made not if I care if I care about this then it needs to matter and I'm gonna make it matter okay so that's the way I think in eight things well what's the downside of that well the downside of being able to see the big picture is sometimes an eight could be so preoccupied with making a big impact that maybe they make no impact like for example if if I can't do something that is profound then what's the point of doing anything and I think an eight could slip into that sloth of the nine you know and just say well since since you know the people in charge here don't really understand what the importance of this is then I'm not going to get engaged at all and so you might see an eight just go dark and just you know sort of disconnect from their work environment because if we're not if we're not going to care then I can care better than I can I care more than anybody else can not care and I think that could be problematic also I think 1/8 could have become very frustrated when they get stuck dealing with small details you know since your big picture oriented then you don't necessarily want to deal with all of the small details that have to be done properly in order to get to that goal and you know somebody's got to take care of those details somebody's got to pay attention to you know quality control somebody's got to pay attention to you know every little turn of the knob to make sure that that that goal is accomplished eight doesn't want to deal with that I don't think the eight wants to they want to what's the what's the issue what's the problem who's to blame let's fix this let's set a new course now all of you people come in here in these positions and you monitor all these details so they're gonna go get ones and sixes and maybe some fives and they're gonna put them in all these positions to monitor all those changes and then the eight kind of feels like now I'm out on to the next big problem I'm out you guys now told you what to do I told you what you need to do I told you how to fix this now you need to step up and you need to take ownership and responsibility and do your job I'm not gonna do that job I'm off to the next big problem to solve I think that big-picture orientation although it's tremendous I mean it's important could keep an eighth very frustrated if they got stuck with some kind of my new details that they didn't really see the value in it you know what's the point of this job and they might get really frustrated over in some corner office somewhere moving beans you know from one side of the table to the other because they may not see how that fits into the greater bigger picture of the organization okay next confidence in tackling tough challenges so eights have confidence to be an eighth is to be confident an eighth shuts down a part of themselves and the part they shut down is the part that I'm weak I need help I'm vulnerable I'm broken it don't want to believe any of that about themselves they want to shut that off and quiet that part of themselves and so the positive side of that is they are empowered they are super empowered and so they don't doubt themselves like a six might doubt themselves and question themselves they know what they feel in their gut and so let's move forward they believe in themselves they believe in their ability to solve problems and their ability to land on their feet and their ability to stand up under pressure and so they shut off that side of themselves that makes them question and doubt and worry and weakness and any of that stuff so they their default mode is to feel very confident and that's again why people follow eights because people look for confidence if you know what you believe and you look like you know what you're doing and you have confidence in it people will follow that people want that confidence so eights default mode is to feel very self confident now sometimes maybe they shouldn't feel so self confident they enjoy demonstrating their power in their ability and aren't afraid to take on difficult challenge as a result of that well what's the what's the downside of that the downside of that sometimes you know a little bit of doubting yourself could be a good thing you know sometimes maybe you should slow down a second and say whoa what if I get in over my head well what if I make a whole bunch of enemies you know am I prepared to handle that am I really prepared what if everybody in this office or this organization turns against me because of this that might just embolden a Nate to move forward when maybe they should stop and pause a second and reflect and shift out of that action mode into what's next to them their thinking mode right because they're right next to a seven which is in thinking mode they should they should maybe pause a second and think first and then go way over to the other side and feel a little bit and say how is everybody else gonna feel about this decision you know how's everybody else going to feel are they gonna feel like this was success or they gonna feel like they might have got trampled over by my boldness and my initiative my willingness to take initiative so sometimes a little self-doubt can be a good thing and sometimes eight you know because they're so powerful may need to rein in a little bit of that intensity because they might overwhelm even the people that are on their own side you know they might they might overwhelm even the people that are on their team so they have a tendency H you have a tendency at times to apply more pressure than as needed okay to sort of squeeze a little tighter than you need to squeeze and you know because of your desire to make a big impact and your trust and your own ability sometimes maybe you can get into fights that you don't belong in and sometimes you might push a little harder than needs to be pushed and trampled sometimes people that would be for you but now they find themselves you know questioning you or afraid of you okay next the ability to take bold action and maintain control of whatever's happening the ability to take bold action and maintain control over what's happening so again like eights don't necessarily experience the same fear of failure that certainly sixes would experience or sevens or or the rest you could just say the rest of the types on the AMIA Graham and they're not necessarily afraid that people aren't going to like them that may not be an important value to them that people like and approve of them so eight because of that have a tendency to automatically move forward without worrying about those things and making things happen even when the outcome could be a little uncertain or you might say risky and again the downside of that of course there's lots of positives to that that's why you get promoted that's why you get put in the leadership that's why people trust you but the downside of that might be that you might need to moderate that intensity a little bit and slow down on that impulse to act to give other people time to catch up with you to give the rest of the team time you know the eights gonna get frustrated with a team and just feel like I'm doing this myself I'll just do those myself I knew I couldn't rely on you guys because remember eights kind of have that anger in that anger triad where people are stupid and so they kind of look at the people are stupid or people are ignorant and you know the one says so they need to be organized they need the laws they need structure the nine says just try to get along with them and the eight says get out of my way so eight people eighths kind of have that idea that you know people are stupid and frustrating and ignorant and do stupid things and say stupid things and if they would just get out of the way then we can make some progress and that that nature could sometimes you know cause you to leap ahead of the team and not let others catch up with you or could cause you you know to do everything yourself but could also just squelch any kind of environment of creativity around you because you ain't got time for all that creative nonsense you ain't got time for all this debate and discussion and for this to go to committee we got to get it done and eights think you know let's get it done who's holding us back and why is that person in charge and what gives them the right okay so that tone moves you forward but it could cause you maybe to trample on people it could cause you to get way ahead and leave the team behind it could cause you to get frustrated and it can cause people to stop bringing new ideas and stop bringing you the help that they like because they just don't want to get trampled on okay next good mentoring and empowering of people good mentoring and empowering of people well if you're a bold take charge take initiative kind of person guess what people are going to be drawn to that and they're gonna want that for themselves so they're going to want you to mentor them and eight like to mentor people but eights you know they kind of want to empower you like want you to tap into the same thing they have you may not really have that because you're not 1/8 you know if you're a 7 or a 6 or something you don't necessarily have that same personality that 1/8 has but you can appreciate it and you can see the benefits of it and they'll try to you know kind of put your arm behind your back until you man up and get in touch with your own strength and help you deny your own weaknesses and get in touch with your own strength and you know they're gonna want to emboldened you as a way of lending courage to you and we all do this every type does this ok think about it every type does it the two is gonna share their their sense of shame with you and when you say something that's not nice they're gonna they're gonna want you to feel the same kind of shame they would feel if they said something that wasn't pleasing the 3 you know they write self-help books on how you can be like them how you can set goals and dream big and overcome obstacles they're gonna share that sense of you know accomplishment with you and sixes are gonna share their fears with you and their protection or their their there's their sense of planning with you they're gonna when you're around a 6 a long time you're gonna start to get questioning things yourself right sevens are going to share their impulse to do something and to change the environment and to you know laugh and keep things upbeat and eights are gonna share with you their nines are gonna calm you down and eighths are going to embolden you they're gonna say if you didn't get what you ordered then you need to send it back you need to tell that waiter to stop and get it right and if you can't do it I'll do it for you and if you don't want me to do it then why are you crying about it okay if you can't tell I have an eight wing my dominant wing is my six wing but I have that eight wing there and sometimes I can feel just a little bit of a glimmer I think of what eight feel all the time and so I can tap into it a little bit but it's probably not my strongest wing you know I'm a little more cautious than I am bold and I can tap into it and I can feel just a little bit I think sense of what it feels like I get a glimmer every once in a while well what's the danger of you know empowering people and lending your strength to people well I think you know again you can come across as unapproachable a little bit maybe scary intimidating would be the word and I know eights that I talked to you they say people tell them they're intimidating and they're like what what what I'm not trying to be intimidating I'm just being myself and so AIT's always feel like they have to minimize themselves they always feel like they have to moderate themselves so they can get along with people because people are babies and you got to coddle them you got babysit them and so AIT's always feel like they gotta you know be careful what they say be careful what they do because they're gonna make somebody cry you know they're gonna make somebody cry you're gonna make somebody boohoo and and we even in mentoring people I think you know you got to be careful because eight honestly you may not necessarily want to as much as you are truth warriors it can be hard for you to hear the truth of how you might be coming across to people okay next and last on our list here is confident in approaching conflict eight are naturally confident in approaching conflict because they're not in touch with their vulnerability and that's how they face conflict they don't they're not they don't go in with a lot of self-doubt and self wondering and fear that while others might reject me others might be upset with me again I don't know that innate necessary though maybe with the really important relationships in their life like their immediate family and things you know their dog their wife their their kids their parents they might they might really temper themselves to get along with and play nice with people but by and large when it deal with the public you know and even in the office and stuff I think an 8 is not worried if you know about all that stuff about getting along with everybody and everybody's approval and all that kind of stuff so that gives the eights the ability to just stand up during conflict sure of themselves and you bring a fight to an date you're gonna get the fight handed back to you that's just the way it's gonna be you're gonna they're gonna hand you the few stomp in on an eighth like you're going to intimidate them you better be ready for it you better be ready for the the whoopin that they're gonna unleash on you ok because they are their personality is designed to push any threat back any perceived threat push it back they do not want to cower and run now they might they might realize that they just got to shut it for now because they're not the person in authority and they will get into trouble so they might shut it and move to five you know the investigator and just withdraw for a minute but don't think you've won the fight just because they withdraw for a moment don't think you've won the fight its ability to do conflict can lead to an over readiness to confront when sometimes you should just let it go there's times when there's a time to fight there's a time to run and there's a time to ignore you know many people would best be handled with benign neglect there's a lot of people that the best way to handle them is just benign neglect but sometimes there's something with a Nate that when they get triggered you know they want they want to go after it they want to go after that somebody did something wrong somebody said what somebody somebody thought what somebody you know took my what and so the eight wants to go after them and see that justice is administered on that person that they pay for their crime but sometimes you need to just let people say what they're going to say and walk on by and just let it go and if you chase every bus you know eventually you're gonna catch one and you don't need to chase every bus some buses you should just let them pass by you should just let them go it can be hard for an eight that just let stuff go because they want to hunt them down and put it into it and sometimes you know it can lead to the initiating conflict when really they probably could have solved their problem best with maybe something else like diplomacy diplomacy might have been the way to solve that problem you know or benign neglect but maybe instead of you know being diplomatic viii in their weakness of their personality you know when on the attack mode instead I think that you know of course the sin of the eight is lust and I've talked about other videos you know what that might mean what that what that looks like and stuff and I've said you know intensity is is you could you could translate that a little bit like the need for intensity but I think I've been doing a lot more thinking about that and I think really you know another way to think about the lust of the eight b8e what is essentially what is the lesson to lust says that person over there is an object for my pleasure and my enjoyment and of course it's always in a sexual context that we think about lust but I think when you broaden that out into all of life this is really helpful if you stayed with me through this video then it's this is worth the reason for you staying with me this insight about yourself I think you'll thank me for this lust I think is really just looking at people as though they exist for your purposes and benefit and that may not sound like something you do but compared to the other Enneagram types your your nature is prone to look at people as oh you have that outfit I'd like to borrow that and you just kind of think like I have the ability to just go in there and take that and assert my will over that oh this office is available well I'm my stuff in there if anybody has a problem with that they can speak up if they don't then they must not have a problem with it and so AIT's just tend to like come into their environment and dominate it even come into you know other people's lives and just dominate over other people without necessarily thinking I wonder how that person feels about what I just said I wonder how that person feels or you know I wonder if they feel upset or slighted or disrespected in some way because of what I did or what I said it's not in the eights frame of reference to think about other people's desires wishes and feelings they're so tuned into what needs to be done or tuned into what they want that they aren't necessarily looking at people as though I'm here I'm here for their benefit no they're here for my benefit that's the lust I think of the eight something for you to evaluate in your own life as always guys thank you so much for checking in for this video blessings and be present to life it's so easy to get caught up in tomorrow's troubles or to get stuck in yesterday's victories or yesterday's defeats that you can't be present with with what is right in front of you so I'll see you guys next time thank you for watching

Channel: Dr. Tom LaHue

Views: 7,433

Rating: 4.8777294 out of 5

Keywords: Enneagram, Family, love, relationships, home, personalities, Type 8, Type eight, enneagram type 8, parenting

Id: B_nwy3fOd5U

Length: 23min 31sec (1411 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 09 2020