(laid-back electronic music) - Hey, guys, super excited
to be with you, man, as we literally are almost
wrapping up our series here in A Series Called You. I wanna welcome all of our guests, man. So glad that you came to
Sandals Church this week. And look, I would love to
be with you guys personally, but this weekend, I'm in Hawaii. So you can be praying for me that my seven doesn't get out of control as I compete in the Ironman and that my wife's six does not freak out and kill me, kill all of us, because the island is exploding. So today, we're gonna look
at the eight, the challenger. Literally, if you're an eight, listen, just know, we love you, we
care for you, we need you. And a lot of people, when they
score, and they see eight, they're like, oh my gosh, I'm that person that everybody's afraid
of or intimidated by. And so I just want you to know that God made you, designed you, and you are amazing,
especially if we can get you into the healthy category of the eight. God wants to use you. So we're gonna talk about the eight today, but before we do, we gotta jump in and look at why we needed
a challenger in this story. There are many, many eights in the Bible, and God uses them to do incredible things. So last weekend, we talked
about the seven, David, who's the enthusiast, he's excited, he danced before the Lord naked, and unfortunately, got a little excited about a married woman named Bathsheba. And so here, what happens,
he gets with Bathsheba, they get together, she becomes
pregnant, sends him a note, and so now he's gotta figure
out how to fix this problem because he is the king of Israel, has impregnated a married
woman, and this woman's husband is off fighting for
him on the battlefield. So he's fighting for David's kingdom. And so the Bible's very, very clear that David does a lot of nasty stuff. He just does. He's impulsive, he's reckless, and he gets really, really unhealthy trying to cover up his sin. So the first thing he does is he invites, literally,
Uriah the Hittite back from the battlefield and says, hey, come back, we appreciate
all of your faithfulness and loyalty, and I want you to come back and have some R and R with your wife. Well, Uriah is a good guy, and he refuses to go to his home, sleep with his wife,
because here's his thinking. Look, my buddies, my comrades
out on the battlefield, they're not with their wives. They don't get to sleep at home. And so he sleeps outside in a tent, remembering his comrades
back out on the field. And so David tries to do something else, invites him to the palace, gets him drunk. Hopefully, he'll go back
and be with his wife. Still won't do it. So David literally is in a conundrum. So instead of doing the right
thing and confessing his sin, he literally gives Uriah
a note, and he says, take this to Joab when you
go back on the battlefield. Think about this. He gives him a note, and
here's what the note says. Make sure Uriah dies. How terrible is that, right? David is gonna kill this
loyal guy to his kingdom, just to cover up his sin. And so unfortunately
for Uriah, it happens. He dies in the battlefield, and David feels like everything's good. It's all good. I got away with it. And here's the thing you
need to know about sin. You might fool me. You might fool the police. You might fool your friends. You cannot fool God. And so God literally ordains
a challenger, Nathan, to come into the situation and
challenge David for his sin. So let's take a look at our outlines. We're in 2 Samuel, chapter
12, verses one through 13. It says, so the Lord
sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story. So here's a very, very healthy eight. He's going to kinda have some
nuance to his confrontation. He says, hey, David, "There
were two men in a certain town. "One was rich, and one was poor. "The rich man owned a great
many sheep and cattle. "The poor man owned nothing "but one little lamb he had bought. "He raised that little lamb, "and it grew up with his children. "It ate from the man's own plate
and drank from his own cup. "He cuddled it in his
arms like a baby daughter. "One day a guest arrived at
the home of the rich man. "But instead of killing an animal "from his own flock or
herd, he took," literally, look at this, "he took the
poor man's lamb and killed it "and prepared it for his guest." David's furious. This is ridiculous! Who would do something like this, man? This guy, look at what it says, "As surely as the Lord lives," he vowed, "any man who would do such
a thing deserves to die!" Which is a little over the top, which enthusiasts can
be because you don't, you know, give somebody the death penalty because they killed your pet. Look, maybe you put them in prison, give them some counseling, but you don't give
somebody the death penalty because they killed your dog. But David loses his mind. He said, "He must repay
four lambs to the poor man "for the one he stole for having no pity." Then this next verse, verse seven, is one of the greatest
moments in scripture. Then Nathan said to
David, "You are that man!" So here's David, he's all
furious, he's all fired up. This guys gotta die! And Nathan says, "You're that guy. "The Lord, the God of Israel says, "I anointed you king of Israel, "and I saved you from the power of Saul. "I gave you your master's
house and his wives "and the kingdom of Israel and of Judah. "And if that had not been enough, "I would have given you much, much more. "Why, then, have you
despised the word of the Lord "and done this horrible deed? "For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite "with the sword of the
Ammonites and stolen his wife." Boom! "From this time on,"
man, this is just rough, "From this time on, your
family will live by the sword "because you have despised me "by taking Uriah's wife to be your own." Then David confessed to Nathan, "I have sinned against the Lord." (laughs) You gotta love a challenger. And Nathan replied, "Yep, you did, "but the Lord has forgiven you, "and you won't die for this sin." Man, this is just one of
the greatest showdowns in the Bible. This is like the O.K.
Corral in Phoenix, man. You have the king of Israel, all his might and all his power, and you have literally
Nathan the challenger. So if you're a challenger,
or you know somebody that's a challenger, write this down. The challenger reflects God's power. Now, some of you are
raising little challengers, and every single day, they defy you, they challenge you, they push against you. Don't give up, don't give in. Know that God has made
them powerful for a reason. They're challengers, they challenge rules. They challenge, you know,
your thinking, your ideas. They challenge education. They challenge everything. This is how God has wired them. When healthy, here's the
beauty of a challenger. A challenger is strong and confident. Man, in our world today,
where people don't know what they wanna do or what they wanna be, man, a challenger knows
what they wanna do, and they know what they need you to do. They're very, very clear. They're strong, they're confident. They're not wishy-washy. They're not moved by the
ever-changing current of culture. They know who they are
and what they're about. You see, the eight is not led by the heart or the head, but by instinct. They just know what's right, what's wrong, and they know what they've got to do. Here's just some more of the
beauty of a healthy eight. They want to see the world be more, write this down, more just. We need more justice in this world. We need people that will stand up for people who don't have a voice, for people who are not heard. If you wanna think about
great eights in our culture, Martin Luther King Jr.,
the reverend, was an eight. And he said, look, Black people are not being treated fairly. This is wrong. This is unjust. And he stood up to the most
powerful nation on Earth and said, we need to treat
people with equality. Absolutely beautiful. You think about Winston Churchill. When, literally, Hitler had
destroyed all of Europe, man, all of Europe was
literally bowing down to the power and the weaponry
of Germany, of Nazi Germany. And then you have Winston
Churchill who says this, and think about it, England is defeated. They're broken down, they have
no chance, they have no hope. And think about this
healthy eight's beautiful, beautiful, powerful phrase. He says, "We'll fight them in the air. "We'll fight them in the sea. "We'll fight them on the land. "We'll fight them in the streets." Listen to these words. "We will never, ever, ever surrender." And he galvanized the nation. And not only that, but he
inspired the United States, who at the time, was kinda wavering on what we were supposed to do. He inspired us to get involved and stand up for what was
right and just and true. Now, here's the thing you
need to know about an eight. Man, they communicate directly, directly. You are that man, right? Beautiful story, very, very creative, but look, you're the one, and you didn't take
some guy's little lamb. You stole a guy's wife. David, you have all kinds of women. You have all kinds of wives. You have wives, you have concubines, you have all this stuff. Uriah, he has one, one. And so he communicates directly. And here's how Nathan the prophet, many of you haven't seen this in the text. Just as Martin Luther King talked about, literally, the discrepancy
between how Blacks in America were treated in comparison to Whites, many of you missed this in the story. Uriah is not Jewish, he's a Hittite. He's from another nation. He's from another land. He's a foreigner in the country. And this kinda gives David permission to treat him differently because
he's not a child of Israel. And Nathan says God
cares about all people. And you have killed this guy, who's a foreigner from another country, but he's fighting in your army. He's fighting for your cause. So they communicate directly. Next, when healthy, they
lead and influence others to get things done, to
get things done, man. They wanna get stuff done. They want stuff to happen. They do great things. Literally, they can take
businesses or colleges, literally, from the brink
of disaster and bankruptcy and turn them around
into great, great things. Man, a great eight, I
think, is Steve Jobs. Literally, he started
the company of Apple, but he got a little unhealthy, and so they kicked him
out, and then it went down, and then they brought him
back, and he galvanizes them. And one of my favorite speeches he gives is when he comes back, he
asks all the engineers, he says, "What's wrong with Apple?" And everybody's like,
(mumbles) kinda murmuring, and he goes, here's what's wrong. Our product sucks. It's wrong. It's terrible. Here's what's happened. And it takes leaders like
that to speak directly and to lead and influence
others to get things done. And that's what I love about eights. They don't beat around the bush, man. They're just direct. They're very, very clear. Here's the problem,
here's what we need to do, and here's how we can change things. Next, they're protective for those whom they see as vulnerable, just like Nathan spoke up for the Hittite, Martin Luther King spoke
up for Blacks in America, literally, Churchill
spoke for the free world. He said, this isn't just about us, this is about freedom everywhere. This is, literally, we
are fighting against evil. And they're protective of those as they see as vulnerable. Oftentimes, eights are compared to an egg, so there's a hard shell on the outside, but they're mushy on the inside. And what they're mushy on the inside for is people that they see as vulnerable. They're God's gift to us
to protect those of us who maybe aren't powerful,
who aren't strong, who don't have a voice. So a healthy eight, and this
is key if you're an eight, are always in pursuit
of tenderness and mercy. So if you're an eight, and you're healthy, you're gonna be tender,
you're gonna be merciful. One of my kids, a strong, strong eight, and I'm constantly saying, be tender, be tender, be tender, be
soft, be soft, be soft, because, you know, if you're
raising a kid that's an eight, they're gonna have a hard
time petting the dog. They're gonna grab the dog
and move them where they want. Be tender, be soft, don't
hurt him, be gentle. And that's just how the eights kind of are is they're just strong individuals, and so they have to pursue
tenderness and mercy. Now, what happens when you're an eight, and you shift to the unhealthy side? We see how God uses Nathan the prophet to speak truth into David. When unhealthy, the eight
uses power to dominate others, to get things done their way. So David probably has
some eight, you know, if he could take our test,
he probably has high eight, maybe seven, wing eight. So when he uses his power,
he uses it to dominate and get what he wants. And that includes killing
Uriah the Hittite, who's been faithful to him. So as an eight, you gotta
really, really be careful that you don't use your
power for your gain. You gotta use it for good things. You gotta use it for mercy, tenderness. You gotta use it for people
that don't have a voice. Unhealthy, they use
power to dominate others to get things done their way. Next, this is huge for Nate. When unhealthy, at all costs, they don't wanna be vulnerable. They don't wanna be vulnerable. They don't wanna share what's going on. They act like they don't have feelings, they don't have emotions, and literally, they're just getting things done, and they're plowing through life, but the reality is eights are humans, too. They have feelings, they have a heart. They just don't wanna let anybody in. And so if you're married to an eight, it's gonna be really, really challenging, if they're unhealthy, to
find out how do they feel? What are they thinking? What's going on? Because they have all these walls up that doesn't allow you to be real. So when unhealthy, they can be forceful, insensitive, or combative. Eights just naturally, you know, just to kinda see who people are, I mean, when an eight walks into a room, they instantly assess the room. Who's the most powerful
person in the room? Now, when healthy, right,
they acknowledge that, and they figure out whether
or not they can follow them. When unhealthy, we gotta
see who's stronger. We gotta see who's more powerful. It always cracks me up
when I walk into a room with other megachurch pastors, right? These are pastors that, you
know, operate with congregations of literally thousands
and thousands of people. I walk into a room, and
there's just kinda this, you know, posturing that goes on. And we're all supposed to be Christians, but it's literally each other measuring and kind of checking each other out to see who's the most powerful
guy or gal in the room. So when unhealthy, they're forceful. They're insensitive. They don't care about your feelings. They care about getting things done. So if you have a boss
that's an unhealthy eight, right, they're gonna yell
at you and scream at you because you didn't meet the deadline, and they don't care how you feel. What they care about is
getting the job done. Circle this word combative, right? Eights just naturally are combative. They don't mind a little blood, you know, when they mix it up. But when they're unhealthy,
they look forward to this, and they thrive on this. And it's like, who am I gonna fight today? Next, this is huge, especially
if you are an eight, or you love someone that's an eight. Now, I don't mean this to
be mean, it's just real. Eights are, when unhealthy,
relationally clueless. They don't see how their
personality, how their words, how their decision affects everybody else. They just don't. Nobody else exists in the room because it's what they wanna do and how they feel and
what they know is right. Literally, everybody
can be crying or upset, and they don't see it at all. They're relationally clueless. And so, they miss the subtle
nuances of people's faces. Like if you tell me you're gonna do this, and my face is like, an
eight doesn't read that. An eight's not looking at my face. An eight's not, you know,
responding to anything, other than their decision
and what they want done. So if you love somebody that's
an eight, it's not personal, it's just a blindside
of their personality. They don't see the subtle
nuances of how people respond and how people work together
in social situations. And so an eight, when
unhealthy, is gonna be blind to how people are perceiving
them and receiving them. Next, eights, when they're unhealthy, they don't see the value
of other people's opinions. It doesn't matter what you think. Here's the truth. I don't wanna go to your dumb meeting. I don't wanna be a part of this thing because I already know what's right, and your opinions are ridiculous. The world would just be a better place if everybody just did what I did. Everybody follow me. Everybody listen to me. Everybody drive like me. Everybody just do what I do, and the world would be a better place. So they don't see the value of opinions, and they don't experience
the opinions of others. They just don't. They just don't get it. Why don't you get the truth? Why don't you see the right answer? And that's how they live. So let's talk about the
core sin of the eight. And if you're an eight, you know, this is gonna be a little
difficult to share in small group, as they all are, but the eights
is maybe a little awkward to share when you're amongst your friends. But just know, I'm gonna
explain what this means, so don't freak out. So here's the core sin of the eight. It's lust. Now, nobody wants to
share that in small group because you're gonna
feel like, oh my gosh, I need to go to a self-help group. But that's the reality. It's lust. So it can be sexual. It can be. An eight in the Bible that I think struggled with lust immensely is Samson, an incredibly powerful guy, right? Stronger than everybody else, literally filled with the spirit of God to do all kinds of things,
but he's just clueless, and his sexual appetites and
sexual desires make him blind. All he sees is himself, his
own desires, and ultimately, his lust for a woman named
Delilah brings him down. When you read this story, you're like, what's it gonna take? She's already tried to
kill you multiple times. But he can't see past
his own sexual desire. So that's how lust for sex
can bring an eight down. But usually, it's a lust for power. It's an insatiable
appetite to be in control or to attain power. Just like I said, when an
eight walks into the room, they're gonna measure everybody up. Who's the strongest? Who's the most powerful? Who's the person in the
room that gets things done? When an eight's unhealthy,
they have a desire to be in control and to be in power. So here's the core need. Write this down. The core need of the
eight is to be in control. Now, if you're like, this is not me. I thought I was an eight until this point, Let's maybe look at this a different way. So maybe you wouldn't say,
I wanna be in control, but what if I said this, you
don't want to be controlled? So I think that's more, an
easier way for many eights, and just so you know,
eight is the third highest on my score, and so oftentimes, my wife and I will have conflict when I feel like she's
trying to control me. You know, when she's
trying to maybe mother me, or she's trying to, you know, give me some advice or directions, or she's pointing out directions, you know, on the way home. I'm like, I drive home every single day. Stop trying to control the way I drive. And so my eight comes out because I don't want to be controlled. And part of that's my high
seven, the need to be free. But the eight sees the
world as, literally, who's in control, is it
me, or is it someone else? Now, if they respect you,
if they believe in you, if they follow you, they're gonna be okay. We have healthy eights in our church that work for me, and they're great. They trust me. They believe in the vision. They're very, very powerful
in the kingdom of God. But when they're unhealthy,
anytime you try to correct them or speak into their life, they're like, hey, you're trying to control me. You're trying to tell me what to do. And they'll respond against that. So just really, really look
at yourself and be honest. Is this an issue in my life? And so oftentimes, eights are unhealthy because when they were a kid,
their voice wasn't heard, their opinions didn't matter, everything that they did was
controlled or micromanaged. And so, literally, they see adulthood as a way to escape from
the bonds of parenting, from the bonds of control. And so, just so you know, we've said this over and over again, look, your strategies as
a child worked as a child. But when you become an adult, they won't work at all as an adult. Matter of fact, what
protected you as a kid will actually destroy you as an adult. So you need to take a step back and say, look, man, I'm not in that house anymore. I'm not in that home anymore. You know, I didn't marry my mom. I'm not in a relationship with my dad. My kids are very, very different. My boss is different. See, one of the things
that can wreck your future is your past. So you have to deal with it,
accept it, and move forward. So here's the core fear of the eight. The eight does not wanna be exposed, 'kay? So if you're an eight, you
don't wanna go to small group. You don't wanna get real. You might call it, you
know, gettin' emotional or call it a self-help group. I remember the first time
I was in a small group with an eight. They just, literally, in the
middle of our group, left. Yep, we're done. I'm done with this self-help crap. Just bolted, and everybody's
like, uncomfortable! And it was just weird. But at the time, I
didn't have the language, because he was not interested
in being real at all. Right, we're just gonna study the Bible. We're gonna talk about what's right. We're gonna talk about what's good. We're gonna talk about what's true. And as soon as it went to feelings, he literally got his wife and their kids, and they just left, and
they never came back, ever, ever. It was so weird. But anyways, that's what
happens if an eight's unhealthy. They don't wanna be exposed. They don't wanna be real. And so, remember, it's that egg. It's that hard, hard shell on the outside, but there's mush on the inside, which is good, and we'll talk about that. So let's talk about how the
challenger needs to be real. 'Kay? If you're a challenger, we
gotta deal with the mush, we gotta deal with feelings, and I get it. Let's just be honest. None of us wanna be exposed. It's vulnerable, it feels awkward, and it's very, very scary because we've been hurt by people. We've been hurt in our past. We've had people, when
we shared our feelings, they didn't handle it well. So here's how the challenger needs to be real with themselves. Look at this verse, James 2:13. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. God is very declarative, very real, just in your face if you're an eight. Look, you're not going to receive mercy if you don't give mercy. So you don't get extra credit
points for being harsh. You get extra credit points as an eight for being tender, for having
mercy, and being compassionate. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy. So even when David, right,
is confronted by Nathan, remember what David said needed to happen to the guy who stole the lamb? He said, "As surely as the
Lord lives, he must die." Well, God doesn't kill David. He doesn't. He doesn't destroy David. He shows mercy on David,
who showed no mercy to Uriah the Hittite. God showed mercy when David
did not deserve mercy, and that's the reality for all of us. We don't deserve God's mercy, but He gives it to us anyways. And so our job is to give it to others, especially if we're an eight. There will be no mercy for those who have not shown mercy to others. But if you have been merciful, God will be merciful when He judges you. Look, every single one of us,
we're gonna stand before God, and we're gonna be judged
for the way we lived. A lot of Christians confuse Romans 8:1 that says there is now, therefore, no condemnation for those
who are in Christ Jesus. To be condemned is to die. You are not going to die
because of your sins before God, but you will stand
before God and be judged. Every single one of us will
stand before the almighty God and be judged. For those of us who are in
Christ, we won't be condemned. Those of us who are not in Christ, we will receive condemnation,
the due penalty for our sins. So don't confuse that word. You're not condemned,
but you will be judged. You will be held
accountable for your sins, just as David was. Listen, David didn't die, but
maybe he wished he would have, 'cause here's what happens. God says, look, man, I
would've given you everything. I would've blessed you. I raised you up from nothing. I've given you this power, this strength, and now, here's what's gonna happen. Because you destroyed Uriah's family, God says, I'm gonna destroy your family. You took one man's wife,
here's what God says, another man is gonna take all your wives. So there is judgment. There is judgment. God was merciful, but
David was still judged. David's family life,
from that point forward, was anything but blessed. It was a disaster. Matter of fact, if you
look in your Bibles, the very next chapter is
his son raping his daughter. Absolute disaster after this because David failed to follow God. So there is judgment,
but not condemnation. Next, how do you need to
be real with others, 'kay? This is gonna be a lifelong
challenge if you're an eight. You're gonna be stronger
than everybody else. You're gonna be more
powerful than everybody else. And people are going to
be intimidated by you, so you have to really,
really press into this if you wanna be healthy. James 3:17, but the wisdom from
above is first of all pure. It is also peace-loving
and gentle at all times and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy. I want you to circle those words, willing to yield to others. Here's the thing about eights, unhealthy eights can't
stay in Sandals Church. Here's what an unhealthy eight says. Well, I just wanna know who
holds Matt Brown accountable. I wanna be in charge. I wanna be an authority. And literally, they don't last. So let me just say this. We have a whole board
that holds me accountable. I'm accountable to our pastors. I am accountable. I'm more accountable than anybody I know. I literally open my life
up for people to speak in on a regular basis. But here's the thing
about a healthy eight. A healthy eight is willing
to yield to others. They're willing to yield
to people they respect, they trust, and they admire. So as an eight, you gotta
find somebody you're willing to submit to. You gotta find somebody that
you're willing to follow. Look, if you can't do that,
you can't be a Christian because you have to submit to Jesus. You have to follow Jesus. So there has to be something in your life that is regularly yielding to others. An unhealthy way says,
it's my way or the highway. A healthy eight says, here's my opinion. Here's what I think we should do, but I am willing to listen to others, and my prayer is the best decision wins, the best decision, 'kay? The eight's always gonna
think it's their decision, but sometimes, it's
somebody else's decision or somebody else's idea. It's full of mercy, 'kay? You have to have mercy for the
stupid people in your life. You just do. And there's a lot of
stupid people in your life. There's a lot of ignorant,
dumb people in your life. And listen to me, your job is
not to lead and control them. Your job is to love them. Your job is to love them
and to care for them and to lead them out of respect for what God's called you to do. He's given you His power. He's given you His strength. You need to use it for
Christ and not for yourself. Next, how to be real with God as an eight. I love this verse. That's why I take pleasure in my weakness and in the insults and in the hardships and in the persecutions
and in the troubles that I suffer for Christ. Write this down if you're an eight. When I am weak, then I am strong. Look, if you come to Sandals Church, you're not gonna hear
me share all the time about how I almost sinned. Man, the other day, I
was so close to sinning, and I didn't do it. Thank God I'm so strong. Thank God I'm so powerful. That's not the church you've come to. We are all stronger when
we share our weaknesses. Listen to me, eights. You're not perfect. You're not a robot. You're going to make mistakes, and you need to be vulnerable. You need to share your weakness. It's in those moments that you're strong, because here's the beauty of weakness. The beauty of weakness
makes us dependent upon God. And when I'm leaning on
God, then I'm strong, then I'm powerful. When I'm leaning on my own strength, I can only do what I do. When I lean on God, I can do what He does. And so an eight constantly
has to come before the Lord with a humble attitude,
with a broken spirit, saying, I need you, Lord, I need you. Be willing to share your
mistakes, your weaknesses. Share this, your fears, 'cause
I gotta tell you something. If you're an eight, no one
in your community group thinks you have a fear. You come off not afraid of anything, and the reality is you are terrified, first and foremost, of
sharing your feelings. Share that. Be honest with that. Talk about that. It's hard for you to share. A lot of times, you know, eights don't think they have any sins. You do. You do. You're stronger than everybody else, but you're not better than everybody else. So share your weaknesses. Start with God, right? 1 John 1:9, it's not in your notes, if we claim we have no sin,
we are only fooling ourselves and calling God a liar. If you're an eight, and you
don't think you're broken, you don't think you're a mess,
you are calling God a liar. And God is not a liar, He is truthful. And the Bible says, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. All of us sin. All of us do this. So how on Earth do you love an eight? 'Kay? This is something that I've had to learn. I've struggled with eights. Eights is my third highest score. I think I'm in between 68
and 75 on the eight scale, and so my wife says I save all
my unhealthy eight for her, and I blow up and get angry or whatever. But, you know, my highest is a three. I'm, like, 99 three,
97 seven, and 75 eight. So I do have some of this in me, but it's not all of who I am. So how do you love an eight? Number one, notice when I am tender. Notice when I'm compassionate. Notice when I am sweet. Notice it and say thank
you for doing that. But here's the thing with eights. Don't flatter them. They don't want that. They don't want, you know,
all kinds of complimenting. They don't want, you know,
a bunch of lip service. Just say, hey, thank you
so much for being that way. The key with an eight is be direct. Next, number two, how to love
an eight, speak directly. Don't waste your time. They don't need just a bunch of words. They need to know how you
feel, what they think. One of the things that
I love about the passage is when Nathan gets done with everything. Read it in your Bibles. It literally says, you
know, God's gonna judge you. He's not gonna kill you, but
here's all the terrible things that are gonna happen to your family. And literally, when he's done, here's what the text
says, and Nathan left. He's out. He said what he needed to say. He doesn't need to be David's counselor. Right, he's not gonna
be his sole care person. He literally says, here's what's going on. I'm done, the Lord has
spoke, He's gonna judge you. I'm gone. So here's how you speak
to an eight, be direct. Don't be wishy-washy. Don't be all over the place. Speak directly to them. And this has been hard for me because I like nuance
when people speak to me. I like a little flattery,
right, I'm a three. Oh my gosh, you're so amazing, you're so, eights don't like that. Here's what I need you to do. Here's what I want. Literally, you know, eights
do really well in the military 'cause they take orders. They get orders, and they go out, and they make it happen, right? That's how it happens. And so when you're talking to an eight, speak directly to them. Don't, you know, mess around with it. Just get to the truth and speak to it and say, here's what I want you to do. You have to be declarative with an eight. Next, stand up for yourself. Here's the thing you
gotta say with an eight. You cannot leave any
room, any room at all, for them to think that
maybe you weren't clear. And just so you know, as a three, right, we tend to withhold all of the truth because we're afraid of
hurting people's feelings. If you do that with an eight, they will not understand what you mean. You have to say, here's the decision. This is how it's gonna
be, and I'm not changing. Can you follow me? You have to be clear. 'Kay, so if you're raising
an eight, you do the same. Here's how it is. You don't like it, too bad. We're not changing. 'Cause an eight's gonna
challenge the rules. You gotta stand up for
yourself, but here's the thing. Here's how you earn an eight's loyalty. Stand up for them when they're right. Man, people may not like it, but, man, a lot of times they're right, and so you stand up for them. You say, hey, I may not
agree with how they said it, but the reality is, they're right, and we all need to get this job done. We need to get to work. We need to be more real. We need to read our Bibles. Or whatever it is that the
eight is confronting people on. 'Cause they don't always
hold people's hearts well. You know, Nathan's not really
interested in David's heart. He's interested in his sin. So boom, he speaks to
that, but you gotta know, the Bible, the word of
God, agrees with Nathan. Yep, David, what you did was wrong. And so here's what we do
sometimes when an eight speaks is we wanna talk about their approach rather than whether or not
what they're saying is right. So when what they're saying is right, you know, David, you slept with Bathsheba. That was Uriah's wife. You had Uriah the Hittite
killed, and that is wrong. Here's what the Bible says, it's evil. We all need to say, yep, that
was evil, that was wrong. You shouldn't have done that. So we have to stand up
for them in that moment. Next, this is huge with eights. Don't assume I meant to be hurtful. Don't assume that. When they speak directly,
when they're powerful, when they're strong, oftentimes, they're simply trying to be clear, and it hurts everybody else's feelings. Don't assume that was their intent. And so here's the thing that I always try to talk about with eights
is remember their heart, remember their calling,
remember their passion. You just gotta understand
that God's made them strong, God's made them powerful, you know, they're meant to be linebackers. They tackle people, they tackle problems, they tackle issues. And so sometimes, when you
get tackled, that hurts. So that wasn't their intent. They're trying to get a job done, make something happen, be clear, stand up for what's good, right, and true. And so just know, yeah,
maybe the way they said it hurt your feelings, but just
say, I wanna know your heart. I wanna know your heart. I wanna understand you and the fact that what you're trying to
say is for my own good, that you're trying to speak up for what's good, right, and true. And they're not always maybe
as tactful as you would be, but here's the reality. We're not gonna be as direct as they are. And so we need a lot more directness. We need a lot more clarity
in our society today because so many people tell
us what we want to hear. Eights tell us what we need to hear. And if it's not for Nathan,
David doesn't repent. David doesn't get his life right with God. David doesn't confess his sins. And thank God he does. Because of Nathan's confrontation, one of my favorite verses
in the Bible is written, Psalms 51:4, against you and
only you, Lord, have I sinned. And then David talks about
cleanse me from my sin, renew the right heart within me. Don't take your Holy Spirit from me. One of the most beautiful
passages of scriptures, David's heart is exposed because
David's sin was confronted. And so this is the beautiful,
beautiful role of the eight. The eight speaks truth
when no one else will. So let's love our eights,
and let's thank God for the challengers in our life, because we need to be challenged. If we're not challenged, we won't grow. So I've written for you just
a prayer for the eights, and I just wanna close this
time with prayer for all of us. And again, we need to love the eights. We need to appreciate the eights. And we need to thank God for the eights. So let's just bow our
heads and close our eyes, and let's just say this prayer. If you're an eight, pray this with me, just in your own heart, in your own mind. God, help me to rely on you
and not just my instincts. Help me to find strong people
that will be direct with me, but also see my heart and my intentions. God, help me to show my weaknesses and to experience the true
strength that comes from you. Heavenly Father, I'm so grateful for the eights that are in our lives. Lord, these strong men and women who speak up for the truth, Lord, who stand for what is right, who want to see justice
in an unjust world, God, we are thankful for them. God, we pray that as they
have a passion for justice, they would have a passion
for tenderness and mercy and, God, that you would
give them just a humility, Lord, to go along with
their incredible strength. We're so thankful, Lord,
for the eights in our life. Lord, bless them and, Lord,
bring more of them to us because they protect us, Lord, when we cannot be strong for ourselves. We love them, Lord, and we
pray this in Jesus' name, Amen.
