- Diamonds can cut glass. Just think about that for a second, and where you gotta put that in. Today, we're gonna laugh, because someone told me that SNL has done a lot of comedy sketches
about direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical advertising. If you don't know what DTCPA is, it's something that
absolutely drives me crazy, because there's only two
countries in the world, the U.S. and New Zealand, that allow direct-to-consumer
pharmaceutical advertising. Patients come in asking,
requesting for these medications at times when they don't need them. And sometimes they get quite upset cause they think they need them. Anyways, let's have a good laugh and check out some of these sketches. Pew! - [Deep Voice] When you get older, your body produces a
lot less testosterone, and that affects everything
that makes you feel like a man. And you know she can tell. But before you face a
full on vitality crisis, you find a testosterone
boosting supplement on TV. - But wait, there's more, we have a testosterone
supplement that will solve everything that ails you. I feel like these commercials
all take the same exact route and SNL is already
nailing it from the start. - [Deep Voice] You know it's effective because it's in a giant black canister, and endorsed by the strongest
retired athlete money can buy. And before you know it, you're a brand new man. - You know what's funny? They always do that. First of all, there's
a celebrity endorser, not so quite out of their
prime, but still looking decent. They're like, "Look, they're taking it." They're obviously not. And second, they always show the
better version of you. They take a person and
they make them look tired. You put makeup on them. And then they come in with Oakley shades and a tight t-shirt. And it's like, your testosterone is back. By the way too much
testosterone is a problem too. - You did it Haas. You're a man again. Only one problem. You've turned into a full psycho. Look at yourself, man. You're wearing skin tight
muscle shirts to work now? You're in your mid fifties
with a jet black goatee. - What's hilarious about this is one of the biggest
issues with people taking Bioidentical Hormone
Replacement, testosterone, men who are over the age of
50 start getting testosterone levels back from when they were 30, they all of a sudden think
that they can push harder-- - [Man] Step aside, string bean. - And they end up tearing
their biceps, their pecs, cause their muscles
just aren't quite ready to handle all that weight. - [Deep Voice] All that extra testosterone has made you an aggressive,
alpha nightmare. That's why you need Beta Force, the only supplement that
can counteract and undo all that other junk you've been taking. So you can be a regular
middle aged man again. - The claims, the celebrity endorser, feeling like a macho man alpha male, and then getting a little beta in there. It's like exactly everything you knew that was wrong with these commercials, SNL was like Salt Bae. - [Woman's Voice] What if
you could have your period just once a year? - My period, once a year? - Once a year? I'd like that. - [Woman's Voice] New
Annuale extends the time between your period by 11 months. Each Annuale pack has 44
weeks of active pills, instead of the usual three, keeping you on a constant
stream of hormones, so your time of the month
can be just once a year. And when it is time for your
period, hold on to your cat. (screaming and crashing) (audience laughs) - Oh I love Tina Fey. (moaning and screaming continue) - Hey, I do that with Bear. Oh, not that. - [Woman's Voice] Do not take if you are using MAOI inhibitors or if your occupation requires you to operate heavy machinery. Do not take Annuale if you
plan to ever become pregnant, as it may turn your baby
into a fire monster. In the days of around your period, you may develop a leathery tail. Annuale may cause you to
develop a second vagina. (audience laughs) - [Woman's Voice] --when
your period is imminent, as they may want to
incarcerate you preemptively like a movement. - All pharma commercials have to give this intense list of things
that can go wrong with you. And it's always like, "How in the world am I supposed
to read all that fine print and hear it and comprehend
what I'm saying?" It literally says like, "Are you tired? Are you doing this? But also you could turn into
a wolf-man, and a monster and a baby, and a--" And it's like, Whoa, what just happened? - [Woman] For years, I
suffered from vertigo. - Out of nowhere I'd
feel dizzy, disoriented, even nauseous. - Dramamine helped my flashes subside. And I hadn't had a flare up in years. - Years. - They're talking about symptoms, and it could be for any illness ever. So you listen, you're like, "Ooh, I've had that." Just so that you relate to it. And you're like, "I want it." - [Woman] And I heard this
new song that I loved. - [Man] I loved. - I looked to see who it was, and that's when the vertigo hit. - [Woman] It was Taylor Swift. - [Man 2] Taylor Swift. - [Man] Taylor Swift. The whole room started spinning. - [Man 2] I felt nauseous. I don't like Taylor Swift. I know I don't. - Yes you do. You frigging love her. Hi, I'm neurologist, Dr. David Doctor. Over the last one month,
realizing you love Taylor Swift has become the leading
cause of vertigo in adults. That's why now there's Swiftamine. - That's a play on Dramamine. It's an antihistamine medication that also helps with motion sickness. I know people who've gotten dizzy off listening to Taylor Swift. - [Man] You know, when I hit 50, my body went through a big
change and not for the better. Severe erectile dysfunction
shattered my confidence, sent me into a depression and
almost ruined my marriage. And believe me, I tried everything. But then a friend told me about Xentrex. So I tried it, and it worked. - [Woman's Voice] Xentrex is the strongest male enhancement drug on the market. It increases blood flow,
boosts testosterone, and ends erectile dysfunction instantly. - So I asked my doctor about Xentrex, and he said, "Xentrex?
what the hell is Xentrex?" And I said "Xentrex. It's the strongest male enhancement drug in
the world, and it works." And he said he'd never heard of it. So I pulled up the Xentrex
website and showed it to him. He started laughing. He
said, "Are you insane, man? You can't put that junk into
your body. It'll kill you. Your heart will stop. Rhino horn. Ammonia hydroxide? that's
what's in meth, right?" "Just write me a script for Xentrex and I'll be on my way." My doctor said, "Are you deaf, man? No! I could lose my
license. You could die." I said, "Yeah, I think
I still want it though, so give it to me. Write the prescription." - Patients do come in
asking for pharmaceuticals by brand name because of
commercials like this. In fact, one of the biggest
problems is doctors are afraid that if they don't write the prescription, the patient will leave them a bad review, and hurt their business. That's like the huge problem
with medical review websites. Guess what? If a patient
writes a negative one, a doctor can't comment on it
because of patient privacy. Even if it's a complete lie. - [Woman's Voice] Chantix presents, Real stories, real people. - I'm Kelly and I quit
smoking with Chantix. - [Woman's Voice] Kelly
is a real Chantix user. She is not an actress. - Well, actually it's funny you say that because you know, I, I
used to be an actress. - [Woman's Voice] But she's not anymore. She's just here to give a testimonial. - All ri-- All right. - I really wonder, every
time I see a pharma ad now, are these true actors and actresses, or is this a complete
scam in front of my eyes? They're saying it's a patient testimonial, and it's exactly this. Chantix is actually a
legit medication we use in our everyday practice to
help people quit smoking. When you come in, I
say, "Are you smoking?" "Yes." "Do you want to quit?
Let's talk about it." And we can have that discussion. And Chantix could be
something that we may use. It's not necessarily
something you have to take to quit smoking. - I needed a birth
control that could keep up with my lifestyle. - I wanted a birth
control that takes a limo, not the city bus. - Cause I could deal with cramps, but not something cramping my style. - That's why we chose NuvaBling. - That would be so painful
and uncomfortable. Oh my God. There's actually a birth
control known as NuvaRing, but it's smooth. It inserts
easily, not rough diamonds. Do you know that diamonds, I think, are the sharpest known element. Diamonds can cut glass. Just
think about that for a second, and where you gotta put that in. - [Woman's Voice]
NuvaBling is 70% effective at preventing pregnancy and 100% effective at getting dat swag on. Plus, you can customize NuvaBling. (laughs loudly) - Oh my God. The insertion process hurts me and I'm not even the
one gonna be using it. - [Woman's Voice] Instead
of throwing NuvaBling away each month, you can reuse it as jewelry. - Did you get those earrings at Tiffany's? - Close. I got them from my vagina. (audience laughs) - [Man's Voice] Hold it. Is that what you're having for breakfast? - Sure. Haven't you heard? Fiber is really good for you. - [Man's Voice] Well, there's fiber and then there's high fiber. Try this. - Hmm. Colon Blow. Sounds delicious. - Does it sound delicious? Cause it sounds absolutely disgusting. - [Man's Voice] Colon Blow
and new Super Colon Blow. Warning. May cause abdominal distension. - That much fiber is not good for you. It hurts my colon just thinking about it. I'm not even the one gonna be using it. Oh my God. In general,
fiber is good to eat, and that's why we like
high fiber breakfast. Cause it controls the absorption of sugar in your bloodstream. It helps you have better bowel movements. And abdominal distension
sounds like a minor issue compared to what Colon
Blow is actually doing. Cause abdominal distension just means you feel a little bit full and bloated. You're gonna have a bigger
problem with Colon Blow. I have two videos for you to choose from. Click here if you want to see a hilarious medical meme review or click here if you want to see me laughing at onion headlines, that are obviously medical related. Which one you clicking on? Stay happy and healthy. (light music)
