(EMOTIONAL) Bilal Assad - Death Of My Son - FULL Podcast

respected viewers we are privileged to have one of my beloved brothers and respected friend bilal assad i have known bilad for many many years and i've known his um father abu bill may allah bless him and protect him and we ask allah that today by sitting with my beloved brother bilal to benefit of some of the things that he's going to insha allah address us these are the best two words that can come out of a muslim is alhamdulillah can you tell us more about your childhood and and your youthhood how was it mashallah because i know that you've gone to lebanon for a few years and spent a few years studying mashallah well i was born in australia i studied here in a muslim school in primary it was the first islamic school honestly we had some really good arabic teachers i remember one specific arabic teacher he was amazing i haven't seen one like him before and i learned the a lot of arabic frame just in primary grammar and in our time there was no muslim high school in australia yeah that's right so i had to go to a public school i went to one public school that was saying arabic folder just everything's all over the place and i think the reason is because it had so many migrants in it a lot of the lebanese community the greek community and all that and one of the things i noticed some of the friends i had in primary school we used to talk about religion and nothing it's embarrassing about it but in high school they avoided me i like to stick to the religion that time and uh they didn't want to look like muslims and this is where my this is where i started to think about the world you know when you're small you're innocent but when i got to high school even at the early age of year seven you start to see okay people are not very comfortable in their own religion or in their identity that's true and that's the first time i see two-faced people i didn't know it certain words that were being said i thought we couldn't see him and i found that the muslims were supposed to be next to me they started to disperse but these to visit us after school as if we are the closest people i realize that it's going to be a challenge if you're going to stick by a certain way different to the others it's going to be tough and the thing that held me is my father vedic for he started talking to me a lot about the companions and those great heroes who were amazing people as we know and i found myself connecting to them you know when you're alone you feel like you're not alone alone but when you feel like you're a stranger especially as a kid you want to you want a place to belong you want to be connected to someone to be inspired so i found myself inspired by the sahabas every time and most of my friends were actually non-muslim in year 7. i had older friends in year 10. can you imagine that and there were only one or two who were sensible people from the muslims unfortunately yeah the non-muslims asked me a lot of questions about the deen some of them made fun and that's when i started to realize you know the the non-muslim life that's when i learned it but unfortunately i got a little bit bullied in year seven and that was a good thing for me because now as a teacher i could almost feel what each student is going through when they're being bullied in nearly every different way whether it's because of who you are your identity your color your gender the way you talk whether you can socialize or not i went through those changes and uh i went to year eight in another high school it was a better high school and i met only one muslim friend there this is turkish friend he used to swear a lot didn't pray nothing and he was an orphan we had lots of greek friends when allah shifts you from condition to condition you're always changing you don't stay complacent in one place because if you do you won't learn true you won't learn that the other way you don't know forgiveness until you learn to do the wrong thing you don't learn mercy until you see the other side you don't learn empathy until you lose things we learned a lot and these non-muslim greek friends became close to us but we always used to debate about the religion at that time was the gulf war yeah yeah 1990 1989 gold form my friend the turkish one got so inspired we used to talk about the dean he needs to walk into the school and scream the muslims are going to take over the world oh no nice to say like what are you doing that's not what you do because we're muslim i said yeah i know we are but i didn't mean it that way walk in and say like we're going to bomb the place and our greek friends would look at us and debate us no get into a bit of politics and bit of religion and what are you but subhanallah they actually learned about the religion that way i remember one time we're in art class and i drew a beautiful nice picture of nature or something was really good and someone wrote something ugly on it someone else came and told me and they dubbed in someone who was innocent some greek person who was non-muslim and subhanallah even then they act in a certain way but they're actually religious outside they've got some kind of religion that they're close to orthodox and i came and said to him you you i don't say his name because we don't we don't need to say names but uh said you did it and i wrote on his paper you know patience is the key to justice this is year eight and he he really got affected by that word ashi was just a word he got very affected he came took me aside and said you know the you know that they accused me and i don't do stuff like that you know i know we have our differences and i developed a friendship with the non-muslims one person became a muslim in year 8. i said to him flip a coin and i said if i get it right you'll become muslim i got it right 10 times became muslim for three days it was in ramadan he fasted [Music] but subhanallah and then he went back but the point is that at the end of it we had a fight me and this muslim person and the first people that came to make us friends again were these greek non-muslims that developed very good communication with them until today you know we we talk about it sometimes they ask this muslim person about me and i learned that a muslim has to live in a world where he's going to see vices people are not going to always agree with you in fact more if you are not stuck with the norms of society so long as you're doing the right thing of course it doesn't mean that you go and isolate yourself and be different to the society in a wrong way in a strange weird way strangers are muslims it means that when you do the right thing other people do the wrong and when they do the right you do the right i learned the hard way that way subhanallah a few swear words along the way what not to say yes and subhanallah opened my mind i remember the the prophets allah always sent them the people going to reject them a messenger rasool has a higher rank because people rejected them even more and this keeps you going these people who are against you i found that they were actually not really against you some of them learn in a very strange way they try to challenge you put you really on the spot because they're actually trying to find out the truth if you can answer it they'll be happy with it alhamdulillah the things i learned just very subtly as a child sahabas and companions and prophets and it's the first lesson and it's as if allah was preparing me for abdullah throughout my life i don't know maybe that's i think that's enchanted an amazing thing and as i grew old obviously we went to lebanon after that my father had the idea that we have to run to lebanon we have to stay there among our families i don't know it's kind of you know conspiracy theories and things but the world was pretty bad those days golf war and i don't know what was going to happen my father what he found out was that he just looked at us going to normal some schools and his boyfriends and girlfriends is so normalized over there this is the main thing really and he was afraid that we might fall into diseases and lose our religion and our deen and our way of life so he said i'll go over there over there in lebanon there's a culture people they straighten you up if you go wrong even if they don't know you it's a culture everyone feels like family alhamdulillah we went there just after the civil war we still used to hear gunshots and bombs being uh um exploded here and there sometimes a missile will be thrown but we still say i couldn't believe what i was seeing i've never seen you know we're used to sitting inside the home with your heater and your television you go there and then missiles was only 14. but subhanallah we learnt to toughen up on the inside and when you travel this is when you really your eyes really open up true you travel here in australia we have been for a long time closed off from the world until now recently with the migrants coming in and traveling a lot there's been more awareness and i'm so surprised now in ramadan how much awareness there is on social media about ramadan itself and this is this is subhanallah you never never look at something bad so in lebanon i had to learn the tough rough hard yakka of living life as a muslim and i also had non-muslims there but this time they were all arabic all lebanese arabic and i got involved in now instead of muslim non-muslim it was more muslim with muslim so many different groups so many different ideologies within islam yeah over there and don't don't get me wrong i had i got along with all types of muslims all types of and some people there they're not muslim and they're just written politically as muslim but they're not and we got to know them i learned their ways learned what they believed we believed we got into debates friendly then we play soccer together or we go out and there was a [Music] i also found out about people from different arab worlds what does palestine mean a lot of palestinians what does jordan mean what is a person coming from iraq i mean what about those turkish people who come living in lebanon they speak arabic just opens your mind to a lot of things in these different people there you you mix in school with people who are three four four years older than you five years older than you i was in year 10 and i had a guy who was 20 years old yeah because they if you fail you have to repeat the year that's right he's failed seven years seven eight years was twenty years old and now he was uh acing everything alhamdulillah i skipped and i never did unite did some entrance test test maths in english help me if the arabic didn't my rick was weak there it was more like a year seven or year six when i was in united alhamdulillah my father in the schools here with that special teacher really helped me but also had a passion see everything starts with a passion true i don't think that if you just go and do a course isn't it's enough that's true no i i i went to mahad hassan so as i was going to sana we at the school over there into this academy after hours and in the summer holidays the real place i learned was really with the people around me talking about the dean sharing there's this thing about you when when you learn something new and you know it's right don't keep it to yourself straight away tell someone that's so true tell your brother your sister your family share it it became a passion that everything i something new i learned make sure it's right and then i share it with someone else this is where the real learning came it's important the books are okay you learn hadith and quran and bit of tafsir and khalad principles of things but really it's when you apply them that's when you really learn them you understand really what they mean in the real world so true and they're all they're not always the same you gotta you gotta be able to maneuver through these things alhamdulillah without mentioning sects and names of groups and everything we'll just say every second group of islam that you can think of i think i interacted with them in lebanon so for four of nearly five years there and my parents left my brother and i in lebanon for one year so we had to with my grandmother how she had a chopped foot from her leg was cut off from a sickness long time ago and she chose to live with me and my brother alone in this house so i had to learn how a wife should be and that the i had to be in the house and i had to look after my brother who didn't want to go to school anymore to finish my studies and he had this grandmother who's cooking and teaching me how to cook and clean i think and i i you know what i believe that allah lets you go through different things in your life to learn wisdoms deeper than that there's only one thing that we have to do and that is if i can make everything i do for the sake of allah suddenly that thing comes very valuable that's not true that bit of food that i put in my child's mouth that mop that i used to clean the tiles in in the house in lebanon you know learning from my grandmother how to cook just change your intention say washi for the sake of allah suddenly all of it becomes very valuable it doesn't matter your gender who you are young or old doesn't matter i learned how to make looby by the way like you make it and call us uh we went through that hardship and subhanallah there were times where we thought we were going to die we used to go to uh to this place to learn in the summer palestinian refugees at times you know there were israeli planes used to come and check out the place and there was it bombs were thrown very close to us very close to us just across the road and uh we learned that life is very valuable subhanallah and that you can die any time remember when i was 16 just stood outside hearing gunshots and i'd learnt about stories of you know people who have died and while they were righteous and i said oh allah i'm ready to die now send the bullet on to me now i don't think about my mom and dad i didn't think about my family i didn't think about anything just myself i want to go to jannah right now it's my height right now i'm good i remember my father telling me something when i was a nine he said if you turn 14 that was the age and when you reach puberty 13 40 or whatever it is because you're going to get sins and i said oh my god i don't want to do that and what about now dad he goes now you build up your your good deeds like a big bag like all right so i went and prayed that night and said oh allah let me die before i'm 14. every time i die to tell me when you're 14 to be you've got to watch out it seems i would laugh i'd say he doesn't know i'm going to die before that time as a child you think you've asked allah he's going to give it to you but allah knows more i turned 14 15 16 yeah me i'm still alive what happened why and when i was 16 i said get up now i'm ready hello before i turn 17 18 i know i'm starting to uh you know starting to look this way in that way now yeah i want to do things i want to i want to get married but i can't get married now so now is the time that didn't happen and uh sat with me people of knowledge are very easy to find alhamdulillah they explained all these things to me so we returned back alhamdulillah and this is where the dhawa began my english had gone backwards my english my arabic had become better at that time i had year 8 english year 9 sort of like that and i had finished from high school there with pretty good arabic i would say a secondary level here you know maybe a year 12 level i can write essays assignments and that was better than in english so what did i do i started to go to translating some books any articles in arabic people used to bring them to me just by knowing bile was in lebanon he knows a bit of arabic in english people used to come to me with articles can you write this about this religion or that i never knew so i started researching and my english became stronger through translating and darwin didn't begin by myself like that it was more like and then uh got to know preston mosque everybody knows that's where shaykh was he was like a father to me some people thought he was my father it was very close very close and he used to teach me when i was there in primary so he remembered me remembered my brother and then who do we meet we meet abu hamza oh no yeah that's where the troubles began yeah he had black hair that time yes yes in your 30s that's right and uh verification uh we found we needed someone older than us who was driving us in a particular direction for the youth someone can talk to the young people with their broken english you know when someone listens to someone who can talk very normal and like them they feel more comfortable they learn more but if i talk on an academic level then i'm going to miss out on these little ones the young ones not the little sorry the young people who are still not or even the people who are not academic so and you know you can relate for someone can relate to the person like that anyone can so alhamdulillah verification one of the driving forces in that gives giving us encouragement opening up activities and doors and alhamdulillah centers were opened up we were all there together weren't we that's correct see a large part of that uh 19 year old phase of mine you were in it but this is not about you is it today no it's about you i just want to show that i have friends who are older than you who are wiser and mature uh hamza was one of those who was an older brother to us so uh you know it was like um more more than saying khalil or hameem would say maybe in the quran is a wali well he's somebody you can come back to for advice when you fall i mean you can't ask if your friend who is your age only knows what you know true what can you do it's called the rafiq is like someone who you lean on he just says yeah man it's all right let's go and probably they might tell you to go and do something haram they don't know any better someone older that's from high school i remember having older friends you learn a little bit more from people experience open these centers and uh i just started translating that press the mosque i used to hear about giving i wish i can also be there and do that and suddenly when when you opened the centers is the first one was iska we came up with that name together we're always together there huh and we started bringing uh you started bringing in people who gave talks and lectures from overseas the first one was yes yes you remember phillips he was the first one do you remember where yes at the center there in um the art center art center in bell street phillips and then you brought abraham green and and i used to look at these people thinking how can i become like that it was not fame i'm saying how can you become like that in other words how can i talk to people and they can really be inspired and in lebanon in arabic we were doing that people used to say and i remember one time we were just reading some quran and i was reading video quran and some boys came up to me and said can i ask you some religious questions first time in my life i was 14. i said what came back home and i told my mother i was 14. said man well these boys came up asking about religion i don't know this is amazing how does this happen my mum told me a dream but i don't know if i don't want to talk too much about you know this is it's the first time probably i ever mentioned this dream subhanallah and i reward you i'll say it just to share with with young people i think they like to hear this so your mothers are something different is something else she said you know what mom wallahi two nights ago i saw a dream of you you were reading quran and lots of people listening to you that's the first string reading quran people were listening that's that an age while you were 14. after after that i was at the masjid and these two boys asked me a question i come to my god why are they asking me i don't know and i answered these very simple questions very simple i knew the answer but any common answer they didn't know subhan and i found this amazing how did allah send these people to me so my mother said i saw a dream two nights ago you're reading quran people are listening to all quiet and i'm standing very proud of you and this guy comes up to me he was very bright smiley and he said to me uh he said to my mother lebanese congratulations on him and now yo because he reads the quran in lebanon the quran never left me i used to see and i'm not not because me i'll tell you how children look at other people all the time even you know the descriptions of the prophet sallam's face the ones who describe the most are children because children they look they stare that's true and i used to see this old man used to after us every day after i said he'd sit up on on the roof because roofs are flat over there and he'd recite quran for about three hours and my grandmother she said come here look she was illiterate but whatever she knew she taught me she goes look at that man every day after asar said my grandmother he reads the quran this is the man of the he is an angel walking on earth you know in their own that's weird and i took that as an inspiration i want to become like him and uh started reciting quran on the veranda every day quran became everything in lebanon everything especially and without talking too much about that the uh got my little brother he uh he also was inspired by the quran we used to share cassette types of these be cassette tapes and he memorized at the age of six just by listening to these cassettes because i was inspired by different reciters so he became inspired yeah and so we shared that we had this thing i used to have this this isolation would go to this hill white rocks in lebanon i'd buy him a cake and me a cake and we sit there and just talk about the different reciters that we like let's try to copy him just beautiful memories and then remember a death happen i'm going back and forth subhanallah all these things that affect a person's life i remember a child she was beautiful 10 10 years old she used to go to school next to us one day she went to buy milk for her parents and fajr time and the guy killed her he raped and killed her and then and then we remember family how devastated they were and people shooting at each other at that time you know being subjected to stuff like that at such a young age it teaches you a lot about life you appreciate it and you appreciate to the hereafter you appreciate your deen and something to hold on to anyway here we had these speakers coming down being inspired by them i remember sitting with abraham green he came to visit us once remember he said he wants to go hunting with us yes yes he knew nothing about hunting but he wanted to go hunting and uh we went to a park to eat and they found a little bag that was left alone my brother azam was with us and he was they're a bit active they got along yeah and they said should we open the bag he said yeah let's do it they looked at me both of them looked at me and abraham green says uh should we like if i say yes they'll go so why are you asking me you're the sheikh or not me i'm not i said i think we should see maybe it's someone's anyway alhamdulillah we we found out whose it was and gave it back to the person who did a good deed the thing is i getting in contact with people like that and having these types of friends and it helps you along your life it teaches you a lot from them and i sat down with him at our house and said how can i become like you i'm very hungry he goes easy you just talk i said i just don't want fame and popularity i mean like i want to be able to speak to people explain the deen to them remember i had just come back from lebanon i'd been here for about two years now i'm still used to the ways in lebanon how they talk in their lebanese language but in english i'm still not very confident with english i want to be able to articulate words in english because now i'm living among people who speak english i can't keep speaking arabic and i was we're going to talk to true very soon those 30 40 year olds they're going to be 60 and then you've got this new generation coming up or my children and finally just said [Music] ask allah put your trust in allah if you have the passion it will come and subhanallah that's how it is you have that passion you have that drive and now everybody becomes a speaker but everybody comes a lecture everyone has their skill that allah chooses them for it's not true but only after look all the prophets were not chosen until they had gone through trials you have to go through trials you can't just jump in there not knowing what to do that's right these people lead people astray those who have come out and they want the fame or the they want a particular thing allah brings it to you you just you just go through the you learn about patience and struggle and reflection learn get yourself growing up first before you start and if you do know something alhamdulillah say but don't go beyond yourself allah is going to test you and try anyway slowly i started with translations the khutba you moved out of the preston mosque and got busy with the centers and i found the pressure on me you start to encourage me abraham says my father coming you both have the same language and i used to sweat as they get up and give the translations and people would say well that was very clear and very good and i just my legs were aching i couldn't and i said don't you realize i'm very nervous and i'm a lady you don't realize i said subhanallah maybe maybe i should do this stuff slowly start getting to it encouragement encouragement you remember i used to encourage me so much annie i think you got annoyed and irritated from how much encouragement i just wouldn't have done extremely very so we kept going with it until speakers that dream my mother had about me reading quran when you brought the speakers that was the first time in my life that i recited quran in front of people as an audience do you remember yes before i started lecturing speeches it was that reading quran everything allah read quran i'd recite yeah that's when that's the first dream one week later my mother sees another dream she says i saw you standing on a pulpit and there are thousands of people in front of you talking and they're all listening to you and you're doing this and saying that and she woke up and that's when i interpret it as first i'll start off reciting qurans then we start to talk allah brought this i didn't ask for i ran away from it till now i run away from it i don't know people realize i don't too much but if allah brings it i heard the hadith puts it on you he will help you but if you ask for fame or ask for popularity or ask for attention you're going to it's going to stress you out it's going to harm you anyway uh alhamdulillah with these centers open up first places i started lecturing really doing public speeches now this particular brother is going to be so excited when i say his name now but i'll say it just to show you how normal people can do simple simple things and maybe allah give them the reward till the end of time when they didn't know his name is malik [Music] yes ruben abubakar was there that time he knows and he gathers a few of our sisters and brothers and he was really said give a little talk to them we used to go to coburg lake or anywhere else and give a little talk and i learned more how i had these sisters and these brothers they had different ideologies raised with some of them know islam some of them from different i don't know backgrounds and started learning about feminism i started learning about secularism all these words and and and then into psychological terminologies and i went and started researching more and more and you learn more about this stuff you don't learn back in if you studied sharia or you studied in a specific course even then from real life sure allah sent this brother who didn't know anything about the deen at all and just one day i spoke to his brothers something at home and he said come let's gather these people and give them from there my confidence built up and i learned a bit more then came the centers iska was probably the first place i did free talks like myself without translating or anything and the cassette tapes came in you had all these beautiful brothers around the adult they started taping them and then came a brother named amir butler he converted to islam he's a genius in computer with and he started to put me on something called i don't know if people remember it's called pal talk yes remember remember and he used to people overseas could hear it so i once talked about the life of the imam ahmad and he comes up and goes okay there you go america now just learned the lesson you're famous he said what do you mean famous what do you mean because now you're all over the world i went home and i got scared of that i said what does that mean famously i know what's going to happen to me now am i going to everyone's going to know everything about me now i'm going to be able to to walk now everyone's going to expect things too much pressure i'm still young i've got sins i'm doing wrong things i can't do this i remember a group of boys got to know them now alhamdulillah they're all married and stuff but when we're younger obviously they're learning about the dean and they've seen me give talks and then we'd go out when young man wants to have fun within boundaries they went too fast sometimes and i had to stop them also and sometimes i'd get a little bit happy with them and i had to say brothers you know i give talks and everything please don't take me as a role model i might make mistakes man please i'm getting scared of this you get very scared in the beginning yeah even till now even until now you get scared all the time you feel yourself that you have fearfully do something no one can be successful unless they judge themselves before others and they are sincere you have to have loss every time it got to me a little bit i see myself failing and a beautiful hadith from hadith is in says that the meaning of the hadith is there are people whom allah chooses on earth to give them certain skills to benefit others with it doesn't have to be lecturing yeah it could be this what's happening with the brother behind this recording whatever it is and he give them these skills in order to benefit others after they've gone through tests and trials and then allah says if they don't use it well and they're not sincere allah takes it away from them and gives it to someone else who is sincere and will do something with it he'll take it away my brothers this this is something that taught me a lot through this lecturing and i made lots of mistakes in the beginning would come and correct me i'd get people allah would send them to me i saw this as a blessing 100 many many many times i'd get corrected and i'd have to come back and correct myself many times something would go and i say delete it or don't it's to get afraid of people recording so don't record yet just oh if you record let me see for don't just give it out search it's an a man it's a trust it's a trust and i remember giving a few week had this in the early days you know you listen to these great scholars and you share them yeah simple they're not they're not things that make you go to hellfire they're just simple stories yes yes and you don't you don't know the difference until now you look back maybe there are some lectures on youtube and 20 years ago i can see some of them 20 years ago i say man i used to talk so different too much yeah tough tough and like everything's black and i know things are not black and white things are not black and white there's a long story now going through preston mosque and this is in the islamic societies there and becoming i became public relations officer but i went to university and studied in biomedical science there yes i know going to university is good but when you study one particular course it's just a specialist in that particular you're not even a specialist you just know a little bit about that particular course there's so much you still don't know any that and earning an education in their secular world is good you know your english improves your manner of uh discussion and your matter of writing and your conversing skills and your ability to debate and to research becomes much higher but it doesn't mean you become a scholar in some special scholar or anything but anyway we did biomedical science learned about science science background and i had to face evolution and learn about evolution because it's taken as if it's just a normal thing no one talks whether evolution is right or wrong they're just say evolution that's it but there's different types of evolution and evolution is but this doesn't understand evolution that islam agrees with them part of it doesn't agree with but the point is i learned from that as well was at university beautiful that was a whole different thing there as well and then after that alhamdulillah finished that course and then i decided to get into teaching i think you were the first one who called me after i did hajj i just returned back from hajj and you said to me you want to teach at a particular school so where would be school that time dakwa college that was the first school i taught at you dragged me to it said all right we'll teach religious studies and things the guys here in the studio say yes people some of them take you aggressively some of them nicely some of that khalas these are people all around me that were all part of the process and then we studied it i taught there and learnt a little bit there and then alhamdulillah went from there went to australian international academy and been teaching there for 12 years alhamdulillah i've got i'm a science teacher and a religious studies teacher in the quran teach alhamdulillah these are my qualifications cutting the story short that's basically the answer to your question in a nutshell uh and alhamdulillah the biggest um test for me right now i think the whole world a lot of people have heard about it is the death of my son and my brother and this has done something to me that i've never felt in my life i've never ever been through this challenge you know what i mean by challenge the feelings and the thought process and the amount of uh reflection on life like now um it really really makes you understand the word [Music] suddenly nothing around you is worth stressing too much about or you know spending too much time about it everything around you now you look at a way of how to turn it into something beneficial for your for others for yourself and for the hereafter and the money didn't mean much after that my brother my brother was uh it's the first time i talked now about it bit of detail he he had a business growing for him and uh i think he was going to become a millionaire in a couple of years he was so successful and only only because of his character people loved him he's a really beautiful to get along with he was a very honest person and my son you know he so he died in front of me my son while i was giving him cpr and he was very peaceful i thank allah this word thanks has more of a meaning right now thank you o allah for the past that you gave me thank you i love the past that you prevented from me the bad things thank you allah for giving my son and my brother and teaching me love and now connecting me to something else thank you allah for the future that you will give me and the things that you are going to you are going to keep away from me in the future because i know that you know that will harm me thank you allah you've take given me my son and taken him for a reason the purpose that you only know within your wisdom and i rely on you it has increased my iman of course and people around us two moments in my life i think i dream about them all the time now and i don't think there's anything that's more important than him the moment my son soul escaped and my brothers and the moment i buried them it's like death had no respect for me who cares if you're his father who are you this is not your business this is not yours how i felt it's like don't you see i'm here i'm he's dead you know he doesn't belong to you he belongs to allah no no and if you do trust in allah now it's a time for you to prove it to yourself what are you gonna think about allah right now allah is maybe maybe this was the best time for them to leave maybe i stayed for a reason and the moment that they were buried i was in the grave and i felt like bashing my head on the walls i wanted to die without i looked at my son i said my hands how can you put your son in the ground how dare you you're the father you're supposed to be protecting him you're supposed to you know you promised him things i promised my son dad and i'm not always going to be there for you so i'm going to teach you to stand on your own two feet but then i remembered that i swallowed life and as he was sitting standing in the grave with his son and i said is and you know what's funny what's ironic is that uh i said the exact words of the prophet saw i saw them even the name his son's name was a bride feeling what i'm feeling right now crying the way i'm crying i got stronger a little bit then i said allah unite us again with rasulallah and then i had to walk away you have to walk away and then my brother and son sat there they just lied there they didn't know they were going to die but before we left here i just want to finish it with this something really good and that is that uh before we left we went for isabella we went to to please allah what did we want to please him with we had our parents we wanted to make them happy my mother was missing us in lebanon my dad and my brother and i would talk to them for the last time before we left and he got teary my brother was very very he had this softness about him i looked at my brother and son i said sure you want to go in this ugly time because there's civil unrest there my son had a big smile on his face he said for don tata i'd do anything bubba i can't wait to see them make them happy we shook hands and we said okay let's make our intention right now we're going to please allah because if we die there shall allah die we die on the path of allah and if we return we return with a huge amount of mountains of rewards i thought we're going to die in the civil war and it's civil unrest there subhanallah my son and i we went to uk that was my last lecture tour overseas with my son and ironically the uk people knew my son and my brother didn't know anyone else in my family why because a year before it they paid for my brother to go with me mohammed he went with me on that tour called me up that time and i said i want to take my brother with me they said all right and then my son they knew him when he was a child then when he grew up and they all they had a love for them and all of these allah setting up things and when we got this panel they died in a place that i never ever thought were just up there on some snowmobile i just want to have fun i said my son wants to see lebanon he wants to see the snow he gets up on this thing it's meant to be safe i don't know he goes around once and he's all right i come walking towards them or somewhere else and our cousin said to him no he goes you can't go on again by yourself you have to take your father or your brother or your uncle because my brother he had experience on it knowing my rather muhammad subhanallah he'd jump into anything subhanallah for people i said and then they said either your brother or your uncle or your father who does he choose he chose his uncle if he if he told me they would have told me go on with him i would have gone on with him to keep him safe my brother he said i'll go on with you allah chose him before your son shows his uncle and you know they loved each other he's gathered those whom they love they took a turn and that's when i saw them now they're taking off my father was there i was there our cousins were there two of them we just saw it go off very nicely and i had a feeling a voice in my head told me they're going to smash into the wall and die and then that voice went allah i could see it hell and then it went and i forgot about it i'm happy and my son's having fun okay but i want him to get off you know i'm not happy about it my heart's not uncomfortable very uncomfortable very very uncomfortable like that voice and then he went and i see then it's like as if yeah only the angel of death was waiting there it's like he had a rope and just pulled him in it wouldn't stop the petrol throttle got stuck out of all people i just smashed into the wall at a high speed they couldn't i could see them trying to maneuver they couldn't get off very hard for me to talk about but my son he passed away at the scene i ran to him in china died within four minutes maybe and my brother he survived a little bit for about an hour he went into the ambulance with my son and my brother is telling him i'm following you on mo i'm following you in five minutes in the hospital he died they both got buried i hugged my brother and son i said don't worry it's just temporary when the angels come to you say this i don't know why i was saying that i was just saying a lot of things the first thing i said is i said it quickly because i knew i wasn't going to hold myself i was always i looked up in the sky i said where are the angels just and i think well of him subhanallah and insha allah this is not the last time i hope inshallah my brother sisters around the world can make dua for them he went to umrah to see as well a few messages here in melbourne and prayed the prayer of the absent on the may allah grant them alfred and subhanallah it's like you know really uh some a major adversity took place when this happened we're all in state of shock knowing how young your son is and your brother he's the youngest of them and you know i grew up with them basically allah have mercy upon them and give your you and your family patience how does it feel now that this month of ramadan not with your son or younger brother you know hamza uh before some before a tragedy happens when we think about it uh it's it's actually harder thinking about it when it happens it's very hard but i swear by allah something something comes down it's called the ma'a of allah allah gives you support like it doesn't happen before it happens when it when it happens you fall into that deep pain and then and then allah gives you healthy something picks you up a sakina you know it comes and picks you up and you're about to fall in it something picks you and allah shows you things it doesn't let you go he gives you beautiful dreams i've seen three dreams i believe they're righteous i've seen a lot of trees and all that means like different dreams i know they're from my subconscious but three of them they were clear they were sure i can remember every other was the first one i saw is a week later i'm teaching about ramadan how allah brings help for muslims he brings i wasn't eating for a week and then i wasn't eating i was losing weight i i i didn't shower for a week i didn't i just i couldn't sleep nothing and just salad yet when i said calling out to allah to save me i was if i didn't have faith and he meant some i think you wouldn't see me here really and something called isolation with allah that's all i did in heaven i didn't want to see anyone but allah kept bringing to me allah brought the whole family to support people and the love was amazing i can't believe the whole world was talking about it and making diet for them praying for them my son used to say well when i die i want a lot of people to pray on me and i want my grave flat subhan because his grandfather his mother's father may allah assist his mother and his disease and and their family as well obviously they've gone through a lot of pain not just me but he his when his grandfather died he said bob i want my grave flat and a lot of people to pray on me and he said to his cousin imagine we got buried we died and got buried up in beta that's exactly where he got buried but these allah brings you these things like i found these out i remembered them his cousin would tell me something these dreams would come in one week later i saw a dream i used to say allah just please show me a sign just like just give me some comfort come comfort the honey be kind and compassionate to me allah and to my parents i can't do this i wasn't coming back colors yeah they've shown me show me something and i see him i dreamed that that time i saw i saw my son peop beautiful people come to me and say you have to eat in the dream and i said look we got this food they brought me to this nice restaurant and there was food in front of me and they're all they all said stand aside just don't give him some comfort to me there's a big chair next to me beautiful chair in the dream and i see my brother with my son walking in same clothes he died in same everything he walked to me he had a partial smile and he hugged me and i hugged him i could feel his i could feel his bones i could feel his skin i could feel his clothes i can hear everything i can smell him like no i didn't i knew i was um that he was dead i didn't always dream everything was real and then i grabbed and i said bobo where are you he said i'm there i'm there but you know i'm there and i said oh yeah it's like there was doesn't upset me but he knows he's gone and i said how are they treating you i want to know if did he go here or there i want to know am i going to see him in jannah or not am i going to go to jail is it going to be my sheffield am i going to what's going to happen to us he said ah they're ok but they're ok they're nice people and i turned to the people and i said don't think i'm crazy in the dream they smiled and said brother villain and no one here thinks you're crazy i said hamud is he good my brother he's good and he sat down on that chair next to me and i woke up these things allah brings them to you you pray to allah at night i've been night prayers have been the most sweetest thing you know before this night preside sometimes i but this time i love this week we talk about it but you don't know until you do it and i can't tell you you have to do it you have to want to do it first part of the night last part of the night now this khala is so beautiful it's most sincere it's just you and allah and honestly i didn't think about anybody i don't i talk they take it they don't take it i don't i'm not worried about anyone just allah i'm pleasing him you sit in the middle of the night and allah it's the most beautiful thing and this is what this is why i'm here now talking allah assists you he helps you he doesn't leave you alone and right now in ramadan with all this pandemic allah is not going to leave us alone allah never leaves people allah does not change the blessed state of the people the blessed allah doesn't change the security of the people until they change the inner selves something you've done something and now it's on a big scale and allah is telling us listen come back go back inside everyone come back in like a coach you know in on camp getting people off their canoes and and they're paddling they're mucking around come back everyone come back this is unsafe okay we're gonna go through the rules again allah is taking us back in for something we're not used to yet so true there are families with a we have to make time at night with allah right now it's the most sincere thing while you're fasting look two things you can't show them off fasting and that by yourself praying to allah alone with your closed door who's looking at you who are you going to please and shaytan said in i can't i don't have control over the sincere servants this is sincerity feeling who is really with you [Music] to worship allah if you can see him my advice to young people is you got this social media in this phone with you you know now we're all responsible we've all typed something we've all shared something haven't we so we've now played a role in the way the world is today we've with these phones we've become stronger than the governments we influence them a little child types and shares something now they've got an influence anyone who's not known anyone can type anything they want and they influence huh so now with that control comes a consequence and responsibility don't think anything your type doesn't have a consequence or a responsibility so type good things share good things have a laugh joke but make sure it stays hallett and don't spend too much time on it because i don't want my son for example or my or these other kids all the other teenagers who i see them like my son to use these posts and sharing indecent things i don't want to talk too much about it some of them are horrible because i'm a teacher i see but you don't want this to stay with you you'll die and they still shared you want to share good things because that will also be your investment we are the ones who raise the dead we will write everything we are writing everything that they've done before and what they leave behind after their death everything has been specifically and particularly calculated and recorded in a preserved tablet so let us inshaallah renew and reset inshaallah and see what we're doing wrong judge ourselves inshaallah and move in a different person that we once were a better person in childhood i really appreciate your presence here today i ask allah to bless you and to strengthen you and insha allah you'll be a role model for those who've gone through adversities because what you've mentioned now the cure to recover from this is just to strengthen your relationship with allah especially in seclusion i ask allah the almighty to protect you in your family i wish you all i'm not better than other people many people have lost their children to around the world and that's the first thing came to my mind i said i now know really how those fathers and mothers feel it's so true i'm not better i'm not better we love you for the sake of watching allah foreign

Channel: One Islam Productions

Views: 21,590

Rating: 4.9620132 out of 5

Keywords: muft menk, ismail menk, islamic lectures, muslim, muhammad, Allah, god, abu bakr zoud, abu bakr, daily reminder, nouman ali khan, nouman khan, eman, patience, marriage, divorce, depression, angles, hellfire, heaven, jannah, makkah, dua, supplication, salah, prayer, sin, ramadan, fasting, seerah, muslim lecture, 1 islam productions, sadness, jesus, bible, stingy, Quran, Merciful Servant, Islamic Lectures, Ramadan, Mufti Menk, Nouman Ali Khan, Muslim videos, Lectures Islam, Ramadan videos, Khalid Yasin

Id: _-6OHxk-qPk

Length: 59min 29sec (3569 seconds)

Published: Wed May 26 2021