Bullying, Suicide and High School with Belal Assad

[Music] yeah yeah there for one minute I've been looking for some inspiration I got my pen I got my pad I write with dedication you see this Pope would see my medication Thank You chef blood for joining us at one path Network it's really good to have you here all the way from Melbourne in Sydney my pleasure the first time I ever heard about you I watched a deck shot was called a Madeira Penta and this is a long long time ago I remember my friend gave it to me on VHS tapes and it was probably one of the most compelling lectures I had ever watched at that time because this is before YouTube this is before Facebook this is before social media literally people are instead of sharing a video on their wall he's literally sharing me a video in person and it's a really great blessed thing to have you here with us today with hamdulillah sure the topic we want to speak about today was bullying what is your perspective of bullying in the Muslim community and a little salam ala rasulillah i've been a teacher for about 13 years now and we've seen this issuable eing all the time every school the whole world talks about it it's a big thing now also the government's gotten involved with it in preventing the way I see it occur and is that bullying is not a new thing it's always been there it's been there for thousands of years if it wasn't been if haven't been there for thousands of years a las plantas I wouldn't send a verse 1400 years ago waylynn liquidly home as a tulum as a this verse whale means hellfire liquidly home as a Tulum is a to every and I'm gonna explain what every means here to every home as a loom as a home as a and Lumas are the same meaning they are a form of bullying in fact they are all the bullying verbal physical by action except that who masa is done behind someone's back and Lou masa is done in front of someone's back to with their face and a la promesa which is the cove which means the silent bullying the one done behind your back I don't know what hit you through signals I movements mouth movements sounds hand movements words statements all these things that people around you know what they are you don't know what they are or you don't hear them it's done behind your back and the bullying is happening while you're walking around not knowing what's hitting you that's put before the second word Louisa and Lou Missouri's to your face and we know that the one behind your back they're both bad but Hamas is even worse than that I've seen boys are mostly physical bullies or verbal bullies girls have that home as Owen which is behind your back think among the students who hurt themselves the most are girls from my experience and from studies show why if somebody is bullying you physically or in open everybody can see it at least some people come and counsel you some people stand up for you but when someone's covert does it behind your back and an in your face their friends and they teach their friends not to say anything what happens is that this girl or this boy don't know who to run to they don't know how to tell their parents and I can mention to you more as a teacher knowing of students who one student I knew personally who committed suicide as he was 14 another girl was 14 I knew her community that Muslim as well as a result of social media bullying cyber bullying that's that's actually very scary for you to say a Muslim boy would commit suicide a Muslim girl and a Muslim girl and waves are in the focus cemetery people can pass by you know below 15 years of age before Dania mostly yeah a lot of the song what is it what is it that drives a young boy or a young girl at that age to commit such a yes and that's where the question that we have to address is first of all a loss pintada has warned a huge warning isn't it he says he'll file way malikul in a home as a teen DeMatha first thing we have to stand understand is that a bully is not someone who does something once or twice or somebody who has driven to insanity and they start going crazy doing things no these people are exempt and the person who does it once or twice they're advised and they should stop but they're not really bullies a bully is a person who has a habit consciously always does it person who consciously always does it knowing the ramifications of it a loss plan Taylor says this person is actively being an evil person so therefore whale is deserving of them because the amount of people they're harming is unbelievable children from the youngest to the oldest however there is a segment in our community a small number which studies show that usually and this is very important for the youth to understand that a smaller actually now a larger number of young people who do bully are often often have a history of being bullied themselves and I'm not here not here to make the bully a victim the bully is a perpetrator definitely because anyone can stop bullying but some of them don't have the right guidance and they don't know any better he reminded me I was bullied when I was actually in year 7 to be honest but only because of my religious practice and anyone who looked different they called him weird there were times I just as a child I want cried so badly and I shivered now I didn't want to go to school and all that stuff but remembering the sobs and companions as I grew up these same bullies even non-muslims they came knocking on my door when I were in our twenties but these people who bullied me I realized they had problems they had issues listen to this beautiful hadith from soir Selim said also a haka volume and homeworld woman help your brother give him support give him victory whether he or she is the oppressor the bully let's say bully because the bully is an oppressor or the one being oppressed the victim of bullying is all alone of course we can help him I need a victim how do we help one they're the oppressors the bullies they said by stopping them how do you stop them if it's physically after physically stuff they're going all that try and be in between of them if it's verbal then you've got to try to talk to them if it's counselling you got to give them counselling if you have to involve their parents their family advice a dinner now see how there's so many ways you can instead of pointing the finger at them let's try and help them you know the worst thing that we're seeing today it's as though it's a culture that if you see something wrong you see bullying you see a calamity before in front of your face the first thing people think about is I'm gonna record it I'm gonna put this on Facebook this is going to get so much views this is going to go viral on YouTube the last thing on their mind is trying to enter to stop it and this is a very very toxic culture that we're seeing in society today and it's something which teenagers really need to shun it's a culture that we need to shun and step away from commitment okay I'm gonna go further than that even let's go to some of the roots of the problems I was walking in the school yard and saw a parent with their child saying stick your finger up at who at that kid over there go on another parent in the car park picking up their kids why did you park in front of me oh go and do this and not to yourself let's talk for a long excuse me but this is the reality when we look at our elders as role models then we learn from them the behavior of communication or justice or we learn the communication of bullying and that the strongest the survival of the fittest you know we're not in the jungles of possible so it starts with us as parents and teachers if a teachers see something or a parent see something like their child comes to them first of all look at yourself secondly what we need to do is to try and research and find out ways tools for these youngsters and the older people don't think that are also not being bullied parents are being bullied families bullied I mean a child sees sometimes of in a family cluster the you know that the father to speak to his brother or the mother doesn't speak to her sister or whatever or they don't talk to their auntie or to their uncles or they isolate this person isolate that person was the child saying that's not a negative ground on a positive when people try to solve therefore they commit their aunt try something goes wrong could harm didn't look things do go wrong some things do go wrong but there are ways and share a lot of going around it and let's go and talk let's go and communicate maybe that person is not thinking what we're thinking maybe they misunderstood maybe we must understood I advise communication one student said to me this person has been bullying with five months what should I do I said don't go to the teacher they go who do I go to don't go to your parents yeah I went to my parents the parents said tell the teacher you know what happened one other student told the teacher the teacher you know spoke to them and some of them got detention but it only increased the bullying it turned from school to out of school and if it wasn't then they turned someone else against against them or isolating them what's the teacher gonna do somebody does only sit next to someone else but I'm seeing a student not sitting next to another student I can't force them to sit next to them so thinking so I'm not doing I just don't to sit next to him but what they're doing is that they're isolating them it's being it's it's a bullying right so the student I said to him when I was your age I learned to bring some courage and when that person was alone he went to them and talk to them I want you to go and talk to that person but not in front of their friends after school you're waiting oh yeah we wait outside he said parents pick us up said Garten say cinematic he'll say welcome sir they're different because in front of their friends is something else there's no reason for them to show off right now say how you doing I'm a date on the hominid look man you've been saying a lot of things about me like this and like that and look that's cool but you know like it hurts me and if we want to fight we can fight we both get suspended we both get detention I mean we can all do that you know you hit me I hit you one of us ends up injured or whatever you know I can snitch about you can snitch about me I go but what's that gonna do you know like I'm just here to tell you how about we respect each other and just you know you didn't say anything I said if I said anything tell me man let's talk like that the kid Wynand did it well no he worked look I'm not saying hundred percent of the time it works buddy they looked almost all the time it works but let's go back to the initial thing that I said would that is bystanders the strongest and most powerful impact anyone has on stopping a bullying other bystanders that's one process and I've said also a hawk or lemon or Muslim and help your brother or sister whether they're the presses or the ones being oppressed the bystanders one word staying to say hey did she say anything to you no but but but what do you another friend comes and cuz it look guys she didn't say anything to you okay if she did will even tell her off but she didn't say anything to and all you're doing right now is just bullying her just saying those words makes the bully stop I guess there's no blanket solution and every bully would differ especially at Hamlet as Muslims we have Islam as our guiding principles and perhaps we can use the principles of Islam to turn away from the the bullying and the abuse you know we you know the hadith of the prophet sallallahu wasallam he said all the aloha and her she says oh I don't even think she says she she signals that one of the wives of the prophet sallallaahu a little cinnamon Shah Alam is able to stop her immediately even if it's a joke even if it's soft even What did he say to her come and remember she actually signaled didn't say anything she didn't even say anything what sold her you've said something you've said something there's some people think that by Sigma I didn't say anything rolling your eyes or that's even worse than this he says you have said a word she just did that you have said a word that it was to be mixed of the salty ocean it would be saltier than the ocean see another one of his wives there was an extra Jew who converted to Islam her father was the leader of the bunny bunny bunny nodded who would who had conspiring as props our son was killed him and they said ah who are you you're the ex Jew the daughter of a Jew and she was crying crops I was and I'm said to him what's the problem it says or you know how so now you're saying no in the others they calm when they upset when they say you you thought you daughter of a Jew and you should say to him and then he said to her tell them yes I'm a daughter of a Jewish man but I'm the wife of a prophet my father was a prophet and my uncle was a prophet her father was great-great-grandmother's more sadly cynical heroine Ali said her husband he gave her tools about how to respond he didn't go up and say hey don't say there's no hate to gave her tools like a response nam subhanAllah let's remember the verses of the Quran in surah hujrat Allah said in a moment my new inator as a matter of fact the believers are all brothers and sisters fastly hold a knife a week your goal is to always find ways to reconcile if someone doesn't want to reconcile they're always toxic you just avoid the toxicity you don't have to be really close to them you can avoid the toxicity and from a distance but don't be like them what tuck Allah and fear Allah at the end of the day then all those men gives us advices don't mock each other men don't mock men maybe they're better than you women don't mock another group of women maybe they're better than you a lost planter I did say this advice so my advice is it's better for you to meet Allah spanner at the island with nothing for you but nothing against you people have harmed you but you even harmed them everybody will go back into that soil and we're all equal then no matter who you talk about and Allah will judge so don't be on the other side be on the side of those who were lost plant that Allah will not say much and shorten the time you're going to stand on a day of judgment I was got to save us from our tongues you know evil of our hearts and from bullying Kazuko Harun chef thank you so much for joining us we have a lot to take home for those that are being bullied for those that witness bullying for the families for the teachers we all have a role to play so thank you so much I know this is a topic which needs a whole lot more time but we thank you so much for your time in in benefiting us in this insha'Allah we look forward to seeing you again my pleasure just like my love for you come and one-pass excellent work sir

Channel: OnePath Network

Views: 30,800

Rating: 4.9776788 out of 5

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Id: 2QQTtW-aQH0

Length: 14min 36sec (876 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 18 2019