Email Writing Tips with Examples, Power Phrases, Checklist + More for When You're Angry

remember in my how to stand up for yourself at workhorse we talked about how you want to give people a number at work you want to label people from one to nine maybe some of them are tens but that's not their value as a human being that is how much do you contribute to my personal professional spiritual or otherwise development how much time and effort should i give the things that you say or the things that you think and for example if i have a nine on that call somebody who is directly responsible for my next promotion and somebody who's maybe a 2 says something disparaging about me i might want to take a moment to interject something such as uh john i'll just let my work speak for itself thank you because your work is always speaking for itself these tactics that we're talking about here will not work unless i am first a competent dedicated professional right so i'm assuming that you are that and that your work does speak for itself and if you ever need to simply state i think my work speaks for itself that's all you would need to say anybody who counts already knows and you don't need to explain yourself so don't tarnish what's probably already a good thing and a good rep by defending yourself because all defensive talk does is exposes our own weaknesses and where we believe we are vulnerable okay remember that's in the nine principles so what do we do when we want to call somebody out and be like somebody do you smell that oh my goodness i can smell it all the way through zoom somebody's pants are on fire john you know if you want to say that i guess you could however you'll be getting this checklist this is a checklist for when you have to put it in writing and you have to stand up for yourself or defend your reputation or defend something or answer somebody who might have accused you of something there is a checklist that you can go through to ensure that whatever you write will be beyond reproach and you can publish it anywhere you'd like and say i wrote that and i'm proud of it number one thing you want to do before you respond is wait number one always if you must respond to it give it a day because you will always make smarter choices we should all be able to produce something better a day from now than we would with no notice off the cuff and just winging it right that just makes sense so that's that's always step one wait a day all right having said that here is the same letter using the principles that i will outline letter okay it does the same thing meaning it calls the person out on what was not true i'm going to cover my hide but i'm not going to sound like a defensive unprofessional baby when i do it all right the goal of the letter was to show hey bub i've checked all of the records and there is not one instance that i responded to that wasn't within two to three business hours okay so let's just set the record straight you may be privy to information to which i am not and if that is the case i'm certainly not going to shut the door so that i get egg on my face when you prove me wrong so here was principle number one wait a day wait a day principle number two openers and closers are key just as when you enter and leave a room when you enter or leave a conversation anytime we're writing to somebody even if it is a really quick response to something that they said if it's a not so friendly email your openers and your closers are key it sets the tone and closes the tone for your entire message so remember that one simple little personal touch if i simply add hi bob i hope wherever you are that you're enjoying yourself and the warm weather and getting a break from all of that cold we've been having it adds that personal connection where if somebody's reading that i'm saying hey although we may have sometimes misunderstandings we might have issues that we need to clear up that's just work you're a human being and i see you and i appreciate you and i want to respect you and salute you first then we move on remember to never ever ever in writing or otherwise use the word you stated you claimed because when i say that you claimed something that means i do not believe that claim to be true because when we do believe somebody's claim to be true we'll simply say you know when you said x y z i was totally vibin with that in a professional environment there's no reason for me to question your truthfulness it will come out so all i need to do is stick to my professional tone and assume that everyone with whom i'm dealing is honest i'm going to assume that and treat people as if they're honest they're concerned with the well-being of the organization they are problem solvers they are people of integrity i'm going to assume all of that and treat people like that because it is only in doing that that i can demonstrate that that's what i think of myself and that that's the person that i am i have to be consistent so i'm never going to assume you're not telling the truth when they talk about internal customer service and external customer service that's a real thing it is an impossibility that we are going to treat our customers better than we treat one another in the workplace [Music] i'm going to repeat that it is an impossibility that we would treat our customers better than we treat one another in the workplace so as an organization as a manager as a supervisor as an employee i want to ensure that i'm living up to the expectations that we have of each other and one another when we speak to our customers they're important we think of them as important we are important as well and the way that i serve you is a reflection of how i serve you know i have a standard of service not with the people that i think are important or with some people i have a standard of service when i've decided to come into work and serve you and serve my customers i'm going to do it to the best of my ability and that means i'm not going to accuse you being a big fat liar i'm going to say something instead of like you know when you mentioned xyz i was concerned because i was unaware of that i have different information from the information you obviously have could you please show it to me here's what i see in the information here's what my information is showing me if you have something else could you please send that to me that's how i want to phrase it instead of saying to somebody hey you know when you claimed xyz or you know when you stated blah blah blah that totally wasn't true and you know it you know because if you keep it professional and you keep the attitude of i'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you are maybe not choosing the best form maybe not choosing the best method but you're being truthful you believe that i never respond to you on time because that's the information that you think you have or that you have at hand so i'm going to simply say could you please share that with me because i'm not privy to that information and that's troubling to me it's troubling to me that i've let this go unnoticed that i have not been aware of how long it's taken me to call you so please shoot that over to me because i have to find where the communication broke down or where the breakdown was in work how did it get to this point that i didn't even know it and hear it's happening all the time you know but i'm going to assume that you're telling the truth and remember you're going to work together to find where the breakdown occurred because the information is showing me one thing and showing you another let's find out where the differences are because the information should be showing both of us the same thing it's not a personal issue there's nothing to get upset about we have different information let's find where the discrepancy is okay remember to let people off the hook it's never good to corner people ever ever not at home not at work never when people feel cornered they start to feel desperate desperate people are dangerous people you never want people to feel desperate you never want to back people into a corner always give people an out just as i'm sure you would want an out if you were caught maybe exaggerating a little bit [Music] it's nice to have an out like you know if you do find that your information was simply erroneous i understand that especially in these times so no sweat don't even worry about it we'll just consider it done and at this point because they have not yet fact-checked themselves it doesn't matter whether or not you both have the same information and they maybe just read it wrong or didn't notice that they were looking at someone else's numbers and not their own you know they just didn't notice that they were looking at it incorrectly they had the chart upside down you know that hasn't come out yet what's important is how they feel and if they've expressed it even in an inappropriate manner they're frustrated about it address that and you will help to heal this rift because remember the top skills that managers supervisors ceos look for when hiring are going to be people skills communication skills problem solving skills if you can show yourself to be someone who even when there's a situation or a conflict that you had no part in creating you can always help solve it we do that by sticking to the procedure letting people off the hook and addressing somebody's feelings if they're frustrated you know i can certainly understand how this would frustrate you i apologize for any frustration this may have caused you i apologize i if you're angry about that i can understand why and i apologize no skin off my nose if i can find a place to agree with them even better if i can say something such as and you know i agree when somebody else turns things in late it's really frustrating so i hope that we can find where that happened and now since i'm apologizing i'm going to state the reason why i did things the way i did it i apologize john you know i should have made it clear to you because evidently i did not if you're frustrated about this and think that i never respond to you on time it's because i have not yet clarified to you i don't live under my desk and this is a key anytime you ask for anything you know could you send me that information could you check this that and the other anytime i'm asking somebody to do anything from a service oriented perspective i have to give them the benefit first i have to give them the benefit statement first i have to give them the so you can get this here's what i'm asking from you for example so that this doesn't happen again and you don't have to wait for a call that's not even going to come could you blah blah blah you know so that i can find the breakdown and ensure this does not keep happening to you could you send me the information that you have things like that make any requests that you make much more service oriented even if it wasn't going to be aggravating to begin with if your language is always peppered with those types of comments people will have an impression of you that is very different from the impression that they would have of somebody who would lie about you and and blame you for their shoddy work you know your work speaks for itself and remember key don't tell people what not to do and don't reference the past any more than you have to simply state what to do in the future if you have to call after five o'clock i'm going to give you the phone numbers of my managers who can take emergency calls so if you do deem these calls to be an emergency give them a call and they'd be happy to help you i'm telling you what to do now simple how much more could i possibly do for you and then of course you said this in front of other people i'm sure that they are as am i very concerned about this issue and how to resolve it i'm assuming nobody's taking this personally we are all here and one team one fight we have found some breakdown we're all gonna solve it and so if they think this hasn't been solved i need to disabuse them of that notion so that they can sleep you know so that's why i'm gonna send a copy on over to bob and sheila and charlie or whoever i thought again maybe a five or above was on that call and might be thinking is dan turning things in late what's the what's the deal there if i find it necessary to see see other people always tell the person that you're writing to that you are doing that and i i want to just remember serve serve serve i want to when i'm getting used to changing my tone and as you're reviewing the letters that you send just go through each one of these principles and remember there's nothing that's not serb serve serve how is this sentence serving me or serving you is it a service attitude is it a solution focused sentence or am i simply defending myself am i simply saying something nasty am i trying to make sure that everybody knows it's not my fault that's not a service oriented attitude so i want to look at every single sentence and ask myself what's the purpose and then you get used to writing only those sentences and when you review because you always want to that's the key review before you send even if you've waited a day you write it you review it before you send and remember you stick with all the positives but if there is a negative that you have to address apologize for it apologize for the emotion not the act it's not about whether or not you did what they claim that you did it's about how they feel again and there's never any culpability that i'm assuming when i say to you something such as i apologize for any frustration this caused you i apologize that i didn't make myself clear because i'm not apologizing for what you're claiming that i did i'm apologizing for you being frustrated and remember anytime you say i apologize or i'm sorry whether verbally or in writing if you say i apologize if i apologize if i gave you the impression xyz i apologize if you were frustrated i apologize if you didn't understand i apologize if you're just incompetent and you know what i mean that's what we're saying we apologize for things i want to say that i'm sorry for or i apologize for if i say i apologize if or i'm sorry if i just ruined the whole letter take it flush it down the toilet don't even bother writing it because all it's gonna do is make things worse and anytime you feel the need to apologize for something for example i apologize for any frustration this must have caused you then if you apologize you must add a solution so could you please send me the information that you're looking at so that i can ensure that i find the breakdown and this never happens to you again if there's a problem you must state i'm going to find the solution and here's how i'm going to do it review it and close something friendly again john make sure that you get a little bit of that sunshine before you know it it's going to be halloween and i'll be at your door saying trick or treat trick or treat so stay safe and trick or treat if you need me i'm here dan simple and then at the bottom i you know attach the people's emails and things like that if you go through any letter that you have and you just go through those points and ask yourself okay is this service oriented am i using words that are accusatory like you claimed you stated anytime that i asked them for anything am i using a benefit statement how's my opener and my closer am i instead of focusing on what not to do or problems am i focusing on the future and telling people what to do if i'm going to include anybody in cc them am i stating who they are and why does every sentence and thought here have a service oriented attitude so here's the same thing hi bob i hope your day is going well and i hope that wherever you are you're enjoying yourself in that warm weather and getting a break from all that cold we've been having i wanted to reach out to you right away after yesterday's skype call where i heard you express some frustration because of the call return times i was hoping we could work together to find the breakdown because while reviewing all the information i have i cannot find any instance of a turnaround time taking longer than three hours so that i can ensure this never happens again if while reviewing the information you find some specific instance this occurred i would appreciate you forwarding that on to me if on the other hand you find that maybe an error was made somewhere along the line i could sure understand that now more than ever actually with all the changes going on and would appreciate it if you could let me know that too so i can mark this mystery as solved while reviewing the information i have i did however see a handful of instances where you called after five and since i don't telecommute or work from home if a call comes in after five unfortunately it's impossible for me to know until the next morning i apologize for any frustration this caused you if this was indeed the culprit that caused this issue going forward if you have an emergency after office hours i've included mark and jen's numbers below they are available to help with any emergency that occurs between 5 pm and 10 am weekdays or on weekends again in an effort to prevent this from interfering with your productivity please let me know so that i can fix whatever may have caused this issue to begin with okay bob please make sure that you get a little bit of that sunshine because before you know it i'm gonna be at your door saying trick or treat trick or treat so stay safe and trick-or-treat if you need me i'm here dan that is how you do it and i love lists like that and if you do too make sure to check out this list it's from another lesson from my upcoming course so check that out remember there is nothing that i have to say that i cannot say in a loving way that's who i am i don't care if when you called me out in front of other people or accused me of something in front of my boss i don't care if every word that you said was infused with as much lovelessness as you could possibly cram into every syllable that flew out of those lips of yours that's about you i however there's nothing that i have to say that i can't say in a loving way i can be so loving to you in an email that you might just pass out from all the love that i'm shoving through that inbox i'm just saying

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Keywords: difficult people email, email writing tips with examples, best email writing tips, email writing tips for professionals, email writing tips and tricks, email writing tips, email writing tips for business, email writing tips for interview, email writing tips for esl students, say this not that, do's and don'ts for writing emails, Advice for emails, email writing tips with examples, how to deal with difficult people, difficult people, Dealing with difficult people

Id: O4aQSUSEP_s

Length: 17min 39sec (1059 seconds)

Published: Fri May 14 2021