Elon Musk’s Wittiest & Funniest Moments of All Time

you know you are moderately busy running two billion dollar companies that are stretching the boundaries of space and time and energy and you came to dublin what was the attraction of this event this time einstein is really going to be a great party tonight oh that was pretty great yeah this is the queen have you seen this one i saw it earlier today okay be aware she can move in any direction the queen is very powerful i like that she's standing perfectly in that black square yeah and i it makes you think she's going to just only step in step into squares like almost like hubert she's with a bishop oh she's with a bishop yes so this is like a game of chess yes essentially and notice he's also on a black square he is a queen and a bishop have you considered overnight elon musk getting into the candy business as he suggested he might do on twitter i didn't hear that it sounds like wise assory i can't criticize anybody else for wiseassery the new crew dragon design is be able to land propulsively uh with precision um which i think is kind of the the next generation like if you consider the first generation always parachutes to a water landing then um you know arguably sort of wings and gear landing legs over planning gear uh then like the the sort of third generation uh is propulsive landing uh with precision i mean if if you saw a movie about the future with aliens landing how do they land like that okay obviously that would like it would be kind of weird if the aliens landed in the ocean with parachutes and like okay nothing to fear there's competitors now ramping up and as you're familiar with byd which is also on the west coast i think they're ramping up production of their electric vehicles warren buffett owns 10 stake in that why do you laugh trying to compete why do you laugh have you seen their car previously when people have tried to make a reusable system they found that if they would get some portion of the way and then conclude that success was not one of the possible outcomes um now in government programs of course that the program would still continue for quite some time the ultimate goal of spacex is to develop the technologies that can take humanity to mars would you want to be on that flight i'd like to go to mars absolutely i think it'd be great to be born on earth and die on mars just hopefully not at the point of impact you know in my case when i was when i was 10 years old my father was incarcerated he had threatened someone with a gun in switzerland it's a very bad idea to threaten a banker with a gun and he had a drug in his system a sleep drug which was found then later on to create quite a few side effects including extreme violence and his case was reopened he was the first person to be pardoned by the by the capital parliament in geneva and at the time i thought you know he got away with it he had a very good attorney ironically 15 years later i'm doing a phd on on sleep i challenged one of my professors and said you know what if i i use this particular drug for example in mice and he said philip you can't use this it makes people psychotic and aggressive so once i had heard this 15 years later i thought okay this is uh perhaps perhaps my father was not as you know or was not guilty at all so uh it was interesting my first reaction was to pick up the phone and apologize 15 years later to my father that you know i doubt it uh his independence [ __ ] exactly any any natural resource extraction wise would be the the output would be for mars like it definitely wouldn't make sense to transport stuff 200 million miles back to earth um you know honestly like if you had like crack cocaine on mars like in pre-packaged you know pallets it still wouldn't make sense to transport it back here maybe good times for the martians but not back here so i have a tesla yeah okay i love it i love it you've got a new thing uh that you think is going people are gonna want further tesla can i jim can we show the footage of this i think it's called uh this thing is the power arm that is an extremely it's a snakebot charger yeah it's a snake charger that automatically plugs into your car when you get home this looks a little wrong you know that really looks like the thing that jacks into the back of neo's head in the matrix right all right is that thing going to attack me in my sleep uh it's well i i wouldn't for the prototype at least i would recommend not dropping anything when you're near it [Applause] okay all right a quote from one of your former employees which i don't really summed up a lot of what you have achieved he said he is verner braun braun howard hughes henry ford bill gates steve jobs and every other badass rolled into one [Applause] [Music] i yeah that's probably a bit generous because i had this like existential crisis when i was a kid and and tried to figure out what's it all about and none of the books i read seemed to actually have a good answer you know so i said i read all the religious texts and i read a bunch of philosophy books and they're all quite depressing particularly the germans [Laughter] every data every data point rod that we look at internally suggests that we are best in class but we don't do which is not a class yes we're the best i'm sorry everyone in this room is inspired by you who are you inspired by well kanye west obviously [Applause] crazy car to have a daily driver particularly on the 405. so um but i understand when you got it yeah you're driving down 280 and you wrecked it no uh well and you did let me just tell the story that you can correct the story i mean yeah let's see if the story that you tell is actually how does that how that compares to the reality because the reality is pretty messed up so hopefully the reality is better so you wreck the car you get out of the car you're doubling over with laughter and the person with you said why are you laughing that you just wrecked this car and you said no you don't know the funny part it wasn't insured well the punchline's correct i'm probably number one on the list of famous last words i said watch this yeah watch this that could be awkward with a rocket launch is there a parallel with how you build companies in that story i hope not let's see what you can do yeah watch this that could be awkward with a rocket launch [Laughter] how do you how do you plan a business where you know the rocket business you know some of these things are going to blow up on the launch pad how does the business plan work i don't really have a business plan of course what kind of government do you envision for the first martian colony um what's your and what's your title yeah yeah exactly emperor or god emperor i don't know it might be too much i don't know um if you're what i should watch my jokes here not everyone gets irony you know remember must remember what would be your mediocre superpower now this is absurd to ask you because tony stark is partially modeled after you so you actually are sort of have real so we are actually technically have a superpower he i guess accept a convention technology or something right so we're sort of asking you to downgrade from that so an example of a media mediocre superpower would be um one of the best ones you've ever gotten is this guy who wished to um temporarily detach his arm while spooning with a girl sometimes it's set it's sometimes it's still that's what he wants to do with a girl that's awesome but but how i mean on a a regular day for you are you are you are you sleeping you're not sleeping a lot right oh geez do i look that bad yeah um i actually met i met a woman i did a briefly in college who now works at scientific american as a writer and uh and and she she related the anecdote that uh we were on a date i was what i was talking about was electric cars that was not a winning conversation so it was a bit of a monologue was it yeah she said uh she she said the first question i asked her was do you ever think about electric cars no she never does so so you'll learn from that that wasn't the best i don't like it wasn't great but it has recently it's been more effective there you go i know this man i remember when you first told me that you were thinking about tunnels i first tell you about that years ago okay it's like a long time ago like i thought you were joking yeah it was i was joking but [Applause] and uh we're finding the company for merchandise sales so thank you for anyone who's bought our flamethrower you will not be sorry or maybe you will it won't be boring and he's he's a designer so he's he's good at sort of the styling of the cars um but he thinks it's all about styling um and it and and it's not um you know it's really this is you know the the reason we don't have electric cars is not for lack of styling right [Laughter] we were first talking about the concept you know tunnels feel like a resolutely old-school uh solution to a project that i invented tunnels are you now like [ __ ] no i am not starting another company are you still thinking about that that's how i feel [Laughter] um that picture at the end is a picture of one of the circuit boards inside the roadster right yeah but we try to confuse the aliens as much as possible here we are on top of our giant ball of liquid oxygen they say spacex has big balls and it's true you're obviously a very competitive person you're competing with the likes of jeff bezos uh in jeffree actually you know what's great is the lego movie i really like the lego movie it's really great um i know what the headline tomorrow's now going to be everything is awesome our own u.s air force is funding the russians to compete against us it's super messed up i mean what the you know the model x is now over two years late what went wrong well i i do have an issue with punctuality [Laughter] you have this great shot of green plants on a red background and um i thought okay maybe that would get the money shot you got to be the money shot yeah i'm never quite sure whether that's a sort of a word you can use or not um your friend asked me at a party hey what are you gonna call it third generation cars like well we've got the s and the x we might as well make it the e you know and uh and then it kind of stuck even even though we're just kidding um and and then just just to sort of add to it we also just just relapse uh trademark the model y um um and uh but i guess it's things are pretty dry in the trademark world so nobody picked up on that um and anyway that then um that then ford gave us a call and said they were going to sue us for using model e and we're like okay like ford's killing sex i mean that's that's terrible we were on a date i was what i was talking about was electric cars that was not a winning conversation so it was a bit of a monologue was it yeah she said uh she she said the first question i asked her was do you ever think about electric cars no she never does so you learn from that that wasn't the best i don't like it wasn't great but it has recently it's been more effective wait don't go in that way don't go in that way go away from me crazy go away from me okay okay oh oh jesus sorry speaking of mishaps i just stabbed you i think it's more dangerous to patton than not to patent since our primary competitors are national governments the enforceability of patents is questionable much less than we spend on health care but maybe more than we spend on lipstick you know something like that and i like lipstick it's not like i've got anything against it um so uh yeah i can't wait for that comment to go out there um and it's like that just seemed extremely crazy that gm would ignore this because it's quite rare for people to hold a candle at digital about a product and particularly a gm product so i think the reality of being president is that you're actually like the captain of a very huge ship and have a small rudder um [Laughter] that's not that's not post at all who is that guy that's me oh my god is that a weird combination of you and this is a real this is a is this a real tweet no okay okay okay okay you can make a swarm of assassin drones for very little money by just taking the the face id chip that's used in cell phones and uh having a small explosive charge and a standard drone and have them just do a grid sweep of the building until they find the person they're looking for ram into them and explode you can do that right now and so where specifically will you be in terms of your requirement next next boring bonehead questions are not cool next what how what percentage have actually taken a step to configure we're going to go to youtube sorry these these questions are so dry they're killing me why do we want to go to mars it's uninhabitable it's it's very inhospitable that's true it is like you have to be in like domes and everything and you're just initiating initially initially yes really how long before we could turn mars into some place where we could live it it is a fixer-upper of a planet uh so at first you're gonna have to live in transparent domes but eventually yes we're gonna be huffing each other's stank yeah uh but but eventually you can transform mars into an earth-like planet how would you do that you'd warm it up just warm it up if you want a blanket or what what how would you how does this warm mars up you know it's the fastest way from the sun it's the fast way uh and the slow way okay give me the fast way the fast way is drop thermonuclear weapons over the pulse you're a super villain i think marsh should really have great bars um the mars bar [Music] do you think there is other intelligent life outside the earth it seems probable but i think this is this is one of the great questions in physics and philosophy is where are the aliens maybe they're among us i don't know some people think i'm an alien not true not true but maybe we are of course i'd say maybe we are i don't really have a business plan um going back to mars uh what kind of government do you envision for the first martian colony um what's your and what's your title yeah yeah exactly emperor or god emperor i don't know but he doesn't technically have a superpower he i guess accept a convincing technology or something right so we're sort of asking you to downgrade from that of it so an example of a media mediocre superpower would be one of the best ones we've ever gotten is this guy who wished to temporarily detach his arm while spooning with a girl sometimes it's set it's sometimes that's what he wants to do with a girl awesome um it might be too much i don't know um if you want to watch my jokes here not everyone gets irony you know remember must remember the

Channel: IDP

Views: 426,701

Rating: 4.8970151 out of 5

Keywords: Teslas, TSLA, spacex, Laughing, Funniest, Funny, Jokes, Joke, Robot, Auto charge, Charger, Earnings call, Charlie munger, Warren Buffett, Astrophysics, Speech, Interview, Talk

Id: NIYJ814UzUY

Length: 19min 11sec (1151 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 01 2019