LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
EDDIE MURPHY! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪ ♪♪♪
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> THANK YOU.
WELL! THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
WOW, IT IS GREAT TO BE BACK HERE, FINALLY HOSTING "SATURDAY
NIGHT LIVE" FOR CHRISTMAS, HUH? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WITH THE LAST EPISODE OF 2019, IF YOU'RE BLACK, IT IS THE FIRST
EPISODE SINCE I LEFT BACK IN 1984.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] IT HAS BEEN A REALLY LONG TIME.
HERE'S ACTUALLY A PICTURE OF ME BACK WHEN I STARTED ON THIS
SHOW. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] WOW, I LOOK AT LEAST FIVE YEARS
YOUNGER THERE. [ LAUGHTER ]
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY, MONEY DON'T CRACK.
[ LAUGHTER ] BUT SO MUCH HAS CHANGED SINCE
THEN. I JUST HAD A NEW BABY
INCIDENTALLY ABOUT A YEAR AGO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
I ACTUALLY HAVE 10 KIDS NOW. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
THANK YOU. 11 IF YOU COUNT KEVIN HART.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M TEASING.
I LOVE KEVIN HART SO MUCH. BUT MY KIDS ARE MY WHOLE LIFE
NOW. AND IF YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME
30 YEARS AGO THAT I WOULD BE THIS BORING STAY AT HOME, YOU
KNOW, FATHER OF 10 HOUSE DAD, AND BILL COSBY WOULD BE IN
PRISON, I WOULD HAVE TOOK THAT BET.
[ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] "WHO IS AMERICA'S DAD NOW?"
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] I ALSO HAVE A MOVIE ON NETFLIX
CALLED "DOLOMITE IS MY NAME." [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
AND WE JUST FINISHED A SEQUEL TO "COMING TO AMERICA" AS WELL.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] AND IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'M
WORKING SO MUCH, IT'S BECAUSE 10 KIDS ARE VERY
EXPENSIVE. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YO! [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> OH, TRACY MORGAN! TRACY MORGAN.
TRACY MORGAN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> WELCOME HOME.
>> WHAT UP? >> YOU KNEW I WASN'T GONNA MISS
THIS SHOW FOR ALL THE TEA IN ARIZONA.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, MAN.
>> DID YOU GET THE SKETCH I WROTE FOR YOU?
>> OH, YEAH. THE JIMMY WALKER STORY.
IT'S CALLED DYNAMITE IS MY NAME. >> DY-NO-MITE.
MY NAME. >> YEAH.
I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S GONNA WORK.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> WELL, WHATEVER YOU NEED, I
GOT YOUR BACK. IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T
BE HERE. LIKE, LITERALLY.
I WAS CONCEIVED ON THE "DELIRIOUS" TOUR BUS.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I DON'T KNOW IF THAT MATH
WORKS OUT. >> HEY, MAN.
HOW'S IT GOING? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, CHRIS ROCK IS HERE AS WELL.
CHRIS ROCK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] CHRIS ROCK, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE? >> WELL, YOU KNOW, I WOULD NOT
MISS THIS SHOW FOR THE WORLD. I MENA, MY KIDS LOVE LIZZO.
>> HEY! [ LAUGHTER ]
>> MY KIDS LOVE LIZZO, TOO. >> JUST PLAYING, MAN.
YOU GET -- YOU GET MY SKETCH? >> WHAT WAS IT THAT "LAW AND
ORDER" UTI SKETCH? >> YEAH, YEAH.
[ LAUGHTER ] AND INSTEAD OF ICE T, IT'S
CRANBERRY JUICE. [ LAUGHTER ]
THAT SOUNDS KIND OF NASTY FOR A CHRISTMAS SHOW.
[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, HEY.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> DAVE CHAPPELLE --
DAVE CHAPPELLE'S IN HERE, TOO. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
WHAT A MOMENT. WHAT A MOMENT WE'RE HAVING.
>> DID YOU GET MY SKETCH? >> DID I GET YOUR SKETCH?
[ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH.
IT'S THE ONE WHERE T.I. HAS THE DRIVE THRU GYNECOLOGY OFFICE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> I DON'T GET IT.
>> IT'S FUNNY. HE SAYS STUFF LIKE, "I WILL
CHECK YOUR HAMMOND EXPEDITIOUSLY."
[ LAUGHTER ] YOU KNOW, I FOLLOWED YOUR BLUE
PRINT FOR MY CAREER. >> DID YOU?
>> YEAH, YEAH. I BECAME THE BIGGEST STAR I
COULD ON TELEVISION. AND THEN I QUIT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH, ALL RIGHT.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, I DID NOT KNOW YOU COULD
SMOKE ON STAGE. >> YOU CAN'T.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OH!
SEE THIS IS WHY I CAME BACK TO "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE," FOR
MOMENTS LIKE THIS. [ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME WE WAS ALL TOGETHER LIKE THIS?
>> LAST THURSDAY AT SINBAD'S HOUSE.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> RIGHT, MAN.
OH, YOU'RE LOOKING AT HALF OF NETFLIX'S BUDGET.
[ LAUGHTER ] [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
>> THANKS, NETFLIX. >> NOT ME, NOT ME.
I MADE ALL MY MONEY ON THE ROAD. [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU MEAN FROM TOURING, RIGHT? >> NO, I GOT HIT BY A TRUCK.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> OKAY.
WELL, I'M GLAD YOU'RE ALL HERE TO SUPPORT ME.
AND I APPRECIATE IT. >> THAT'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO,
MAN. >> THAT'S RIGHT.
I REMEMBER WHEN I GOT HIRED, LORNE TOLD ME, "YOU'RE GONNA BE
THE NEXT EDDIE MURPHY." AND THEN A YEAR LATER, HE SAID,
"NO, YOU'RE NOT." [ LAUGHTER ]
>> YOU SAID IT, CHRIS ROCK. AND JUST TO PIGGY BACK --
>> NO, WE'RE GOOD ON THAT. [ LAUGHTER ]
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] >> SORRY ABOUT THAT, FELLAS.
PLEASE CONTINUE. [ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]
>> WHO THE HELL WAS THAT? >> JOE PISCOPO.
[ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW
FOR YOU TONIGHT. LIZZO IS HERE.
I'M BACK. DON'T TURN THE CHANNEL.
WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
