Eddie Murphy about men and woman

you know that I'm used to America women thing you don't own me Hey Baby where you going excuse me I said where you going you don't own me you're my woman ain't you I don't see no rings on these fingers are you gonna put a ring on this finger but our our Apple then you don't owe me in okay first let me tell you I don't [ __ ] who you are what you have okay you got a holdout energy from say and ask me where I'm going I come and go as I please I don't answer my father I ain't gonna answer no man neither hey no man gonna tell me where I go I come ago you had a whole lotta [ __ ] dirt who the hell you think you are anyway oh come and ask me where I'm gone nobody owns me I own myself I'm my own person and we hear all that [ __ ] okay where you gonna be i'ma be way I'm you don't own me got to be careful you got to have a Jo being a tease you gotta have some money that has the money you can't get no [ __ ] listen to the radio that's what it's about listen to Madonna I'm Material Girl and amateur where you got the money you can handle push it basically what it is it's a song out now called got to have a Jo B if you want to be with me and lyrics y'all ain't nothing going on but the rent like if you went up and say hey babe what's going on the rent [ __ ] do you have a job but how I want to get the [ __ ] out my face got to have some money says no romance without finance and women love them song today Janet Jackson gotta hit record what have you done for me lately that's what maybe didn't what have you done for me lately the record start off like that I know he used to do [ __ ] for you but what if he does we do lately baby I love you what have you done for me lately dude only thing on my mind what have you done for me lately we make good love what have you done for me lately they can figure us out guys don't get ransom call them [ __ ] traps let's go and put the trap it's a trap they trap you but push it catch you with the buzzer is what they do do it's a trap the most common trap is to not give you any though don't think like maybe you know you're gonna put a chapel the most common is when you ain't getting any at all that's the trap when you meet a woman and everything is perfect and she won't do anything it's a trap sometimes it backfires because a lot of women play these games with sex and ladies like sex just as much as we do guys but they act like they don't but they do it's not a woman there's not a woman in this room right now I wouldn't rather be somewhere else with a nice stiff one and him don't you let him fool you you like it just as much good your ladies sitting on that too he's funny but he's not that funny I'll take a dick over smile in a day yes I will like it just much - but they play these games see nowhere backfires on your ladies when you go meet a guy and he wants you you want him and you like each other and everything is perfect but you won't do anything say baby let's go you say no I'm not going to do it and after that he don't like you no more but he still wants to [ __ ] you so he waits be like okay oh wait goodnight and you wait wait three months then you finally get in she's like this I'm yelling you go [ __ ] you [ __ ] [ __ ] you and your [ __ ] the [ __ ] out my face I tell you why all men fool around later fast those men fool around because this and look at all the women in the audience right now looking at me like this we fool around because we figured women out did see you loud your ladies go what does he mean he figure the fat and dumb [ __ ] going yeah what would be repeatable we figured you out in this sense this is true anybody's ever done this anybody will agree anytime anybody's ever done this will agree we're going to say any woman's have had this done to her will agree what I'm going to say and those of you who've never done this angle I disagree but once you make a woman come real hard once you make a woman say whew no matter how bad you [ __ ] up no matter what you do wrong no matter what you say no matter what you do as long as you say I'm sorry she will listen to your story and that's the truth that's the God's honest truth it ends the truth stop it the truth isn't true and ladies as soon as we you'll make that noise a man your relationship will change with your man cuz we know we went on that noise we'd be waiting on it cuz we know we can act different suit you go woo we know we're gonna act a fool in remember when your man couldn't make it he would call no more that [ __ ] here's your goo let me want to spend all this free time with you no more that cuz you made that noise the man can act crazy we know soon as you go woo I face in the pillow like this I got this [ __ ] now and then you start talking [ __ ] is this [ __ ] any relationship changes from that moment women sitting on the bed a leg shake you go oh yeah I can't believe I never came at me for oh my god I can't believe any man get real : you say some [ __ ] like why don't you shake your ass home why you what are you talking about why you're treating me like this we have a relationship you don't only what do you mean that on you we have relationship I thought that we go together I'll see no rings on your finger but I love you but what have you done for me lady don't you think with two seconds and if you keep breaking this woman's heart and keep [ __ ] her over your sweet innocent little sweet loving darling woman she eventually will go out and [ __ ] someone else don't think she won't don't think she won't look all the men's faces they like this men don't like the pictured a woman [ __ ] nobody that's taboo like watch the guys faces ladies look at him guys picture your woman [ __ ] your best friend look at the minute any woman is like this hmm that tell you be careful and women ain't like us it's not their nature to fool around and instead they'd like we'll go out and sneak out to the hotel and have to wash your dick in the sink and all that [ __ ] women women gon do it classy they don't [ __ ] around like cuz they gonna do it classy it's like hey I don't do this often I'm gonna do it right you know when you want me to go fool around when you keep messing her over then eventually she says some [ __ ] like this you know I think I'm gonna go to the Bahamas by myself for the weekend and you said you want me to go with you you don't know just me and my girlfriends are going yeah my friend and we so stupid we stop thinking about all the [ __ ] we can get while she gone you gonna go by yourself yeah okay crying and all of a sudden a dude named Dexter walks up Dexter st. Jack walk up swinging his dick any good at smooth bahama [ __ ] on your woman what a beautiful girl like you doing by yourself when you're in a love this is the identify lovers you should be being held right now girl what's your grand boat I'll have to promise but my boyfriend's are trained out here to think it over but general Hotel at your Manstein amigo over the Internet you treat a woman like you're like a princess a few of my woman I make love to you constantly what watch as this man standing yeah he back in New York dude is that right well listen girl won't you come back around my place we sit down and talk it over are we gonna do is talk take your woman to his house and rolling them big ass behind my joints [ __ ] this big and [ __ ] put some of that Bob Marley music on y'all know Bobby preaching the issues don't let him fool you oh no not not not about nothing I even try to screw you again could this be laughs then be laughs dick swing next thing you know Dexter is [ __ ] your woman well send your woman home floating on air walk through the door this I shot the sheriff and we so stupid we think it was the weather we go ahead baby you need to get away mall she connected mm-hmm

Channel: Peter Parker

Views: 4,616,278

Keywords: Eddie, Murphy, stand, up, comedy, men, women, Raw

Id: Rn5HZKgZl7Y

Length: 9min 56sec (596 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 04 2009