Drug problems

too much [ __ ] out there to stress you out whole world is drug infested hate infested drug infested world hate drugs I heard the worst drugs throw my friend told me you know what he's dealing with his landlord is hooked on crack that's that's terrible that's pressure your landlords hooked on crack that means you gotta have the rent pick around I got the rent it's not even due yet it's the tenth come on I need it let me just get $20 of it now and then it's gonna be the resting in the one every couple hours Hey look I'm gonna need some more than rent buildings falling apart things came up comes home early for the party landlords in the crib going through his [ __ ] what are you doing at my house ah where's the sink I came to fix it in the kitchen I thought it was in the drawer I'll fix it tomorrow when I come for the ring not hit my drugs I hate when like people my age and older get hooked on crack I hate that [ __ ] - you're too old to be experiment with the drugs at a certain point you should be past that ain't doing it by a certain point you just miss it drugs are really bold people anyway you 75 you learn the right [ __ ] I'm 575 I do coke heroin everything I wouldn't give a [ __ ] I've been walking down the street that black boy that old man is tripping can't do everything maybe we'd you're gonna do something do it we've smokes we weeds not as bad as everything else sweet is a background substance only you can smoke some herb and still function you ain't crisp but you'll function nothing higher than weed though I made that mistake one time I how's that a party some guy gave me some shitty zai here man take this [ __ ] mushrooms I took it I forgot all about it you know then a couple days later I found that [ __ ] in my pocket I'm thinking why not cuz I'm thinking it's like we some background [ __ ] I plan my whole day out like it was weed I'll chew this [ __ ] up then I go to the barber shop get my hair cut and then I'll see a movie I chewed it up so far so good when I was in a barber shop like an hour later it's funny cuz I was just thinking my sounds like whoo this stuff sucks tastes like athlete's foot I feel sick but I'm not really high then I looked in the mirror I saw the Baba's reflection man it looked like it looked like a big penis was cutting my hair I freaked out I started talking to myself Dave calm down you're on drugs this is what drugs do you know that there is no way that a penis can cut Hey I started freaking out man I just couldn't take it anymore I jumped out the chair half my hair was cut I didn't care I didn't I just gave a bob my hand full of money it was weird the balls opened up anyway I I ran home and I ran home as fast as I could it's tripping tripping I look at the clock it was 242 was like damn 242 I gotta sober up him I never been this high this early i took a shower i was still had said maybe music will do the trick I listened to every CD I had I was still hot exercise that's what I'll do I ran around the back four times still high took a nap woke up [ __ ] up I look at the clock it was 243 yes dad

Channel: JAM05028

Views: 17,625,228

Rating: 4.9182425 out of 5

Keywords: Dave, Chappelle, Drugs

Id: ze7CiKeVxe0

Length: 5min 7sec (307 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 28 2007

Reddit Comments

[u/Tomisrobot]

I love hearing comedians experiences on psychedelics. This is one of my faves.

[u/Brainwash_TV]

Probably one of the funniest and most accurate accounts of a shroom trip I've ever heard.

[u/suck_it_trebeck]

So classic

[u/Chatoyant_Ethan]

my goodness. i died.

[u/stevenp23]

which standup is this from?

[u/[deleted]]

That part where he impersonates an old man on drugs makes me laugh out loud every time.