Don Rickles Tonight Show Carson 70s

[Music] my my next guest comes directly we're a little out of order tonight because he is taping his special and he had to come over here then he has to leave all I can say about Don Rickles is that by voice felt that it was a shame that Martin Bormann didn't live to see his first born would you welcome please mr. Don Rickles [Music] oh I I'm here for the rodeo to give me for my dress that John but I'm working and I had no idea that was gonna be a wedding tonight or something and I'm working over at the other network and I I couldn't get dressed up for this cockamamie affair but it's it's a great it's a great night the president Don durjan is not arrogant Don Derek and who cares he was in the back in the hall walking around going I'm the president he told that to Regan who stepped on his hand and left governor Reagan was thrilled why am I talking you I don't even like you Joe anyway now I kid about joy I know Malati yes I like that what the whole thing is for God's sake let me talk well listen wait a minute composure imitating me there's a name there's not Regan it's rape it's governor Reagan and once he explained that to me while I was introducing them it was practically an insult I call him Regan and he says Jack the next time introduce me it's Ronald Reagan so I said to him the next time you introduce me it's Bennie cabel's that's my right name I didn't know that honey no Jack I was rolling along here [Music] my mother would say is Jack Benny keep your mouth here God George your dear friend is in the back walking around trying to find out what the affair is about ah but Johnny it's great to see that how you on your anniversary you sit in a big chair and we all sit here like a group of people in a wheat field evening there like King Farouk ran out of grapes the humility in the class now that you mixed with Freddie your producer I didn't recommend Freddie to Kedavra Betty over here with a lighted he just sits in the school room I'm in charge it's it's a it's a great ring really to be able to be with you ten years you know I I remember you as started with that you were talking about it at CBS the other day when you worked in that studio what was the show you had then I did a show the same studio you're in now yeah and what was the name of the show Jenner try to stay awake for the cause II can hardly wait to get back to Bel Air and go I'm wealthy ah Johnny Carson let's call the Johnny Carson show well wonderful John the kind of dog show I'll talk to a and maybe you can put the rubber band on your ear and play Marine Corps pilot for he's making a lot of money is anticipate know what he's talking Benny came up in the dressing room in the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas and that's the chicken I was appearing there and you were very sweet and kind in fact we have dinner together together I had my wife and I had steak and you had to leave one boiled egg and he does he watches his diet and he came up and he said you know something you see I watched you on the stage for years in the lounge in the Sahara Trotec what I'm saying and he said you know you came on with some of the words and the things you see and I said to Mary I said the kids gotta get killed because any that can come on that's strong there's got to be great mellow today now gonna be here Humphrey Bogart know why if he wires punches for him that was good to see you get that poison out even on your anniversary you always got a snap it's a little joke huh with the trouble in the world I'm really just neutral before this evening is over there'll be more Jews out here than any video and by the applause jack warm up the car we're in trouble well I must say in all fairness to you John it was Johnny Carson I know you get embarrassed about this Johnny Carson was the first guy to start me on television in the night-time form and bring my ridiculous kind of format to the public and then Joey on ABC followed it up and kept me going pretty good and I must say Johnny and very honestly because my name was like oh here he comes you know and you were great you sat at that desk and you had me on the show many times and I say this with all sincerity we know each other we don't see each other that often socially I have begged but I don't want to sit up in the room in the nude looking at stars if he loves astrology and he sits there in the nude going Oh Venus is sick anyway but what I don't know but they're laughing what are you okay why doesn't look at these people they came they were in line all night going move up al but I just want to say from the bottom are sure they've seen them on the bus I just want to say from the bottom of my heart but ten years may you have ten more and may you be blessed really for being kind to me and mine and my dear ones you are they who you mean that with all of that now you guys don really wasn't kidding about coming like this because you're in the middle of taping Europe yes I wasn't trying to be cute or anything this was this was it and I dropped over the other day and we did a little thing on the show and you were the life when I appreciate I hope it's a big success for you well it is armed forces radio thank you John thank you [Applause] [Music] my next guest is known as mr. warmth but only by those who don't know him he is co-starring he's got a special coming up with Don Adams which is airs this Saturday night coming Saturday September late that 9 of 9 p.m. with every 9:00 p.m. Eastern Time and 9 out of here I guess right and I'll set them all that one I had my soda oh I see okay 8:00 Central Time yes and on September 6 he will be Horus and Reno for two heroines or Tara's in Reno or a Dino's in herre I don't care what they don't go worries gonna be welcome Don Rickles [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] they must have seen your old bag that's right milton berle 1927 didn't you ever work lounges where the drummer did all right how is your lovely wife Barbara and your and your young child he dies Thursday no come on how is Barbara we have not seen each other for sure why did you louse up all my jobs hey just you're on ten years he's got it made by the way the rodeo pony died [Laughter] out here he comes out with hi folks gee I won't sing my song my mother climbing a mountain town in the back let's get bra wins happily married like I had a few mistakes I've had one shot at it Hey golden gong they call it an Edgar just perfect well if you're successful if you're gonna be in court so long the judge is gonna doze off well if you're a successful of marriages you are a television shows you've got a lot coming up they call jamming it to the big guy see that's the great secret about you and I because people think you know they always think hey if you're a sarcastic attacking kind of guy like I'm not through yet sure when could you do me a favor have been the most miscast person I have ever seen on television if you could come out and do what you do here on The Tonight Show you can have a top ten show anytime and no I think provided they indicate the life of Hitler why am I sitting here I'm sitting here like I'm in the glass booth you're two Israelis voting don't vote I mean I'm doing all right come on Ben about Jack [Applause] let's do what he does you know imagine seeing that every week wouldn't that be beautiful [Applause] are you coming while your baby one oh yes dear we're gonna be in the car in the moment and you sit down if you did that that would be hilarious you know what's scary he's not you and I listening [Applause] like a big klutzy stood up I mean we go to parties together he's in the corner going my brother died my mother goose became a painting that you know what you're gonna say goes the image right there God love you hey here's the guts truth you know when you when you kid around and we do kidding around a great deal the whole thing the whole thing of it is you've been away you've been gone for two weeks you didn't know about you've been in Las Vegas you boo all over you make jokes about it it goes to Omaha in fact I met ed up at at the Jerry Lewis telethon and I said Ed Hawaii said eight thousand people in Omaha I know and you know it someday he can't live forever and I saw the x-rays a week and this will be your show just like you wanted 90 minutes of you the Irish fight song and once in a while to pick it up you can bring on Harry yo-yo where is your hometown by the way delight Arkansas yes I do I have an uncle that runs a manure pickup truck delight [Music] the light [Music] [Applause] that's why you and the wife have trouble Cheers a joke buddy rich told me last night backstage maybe I shouldn't do it on here good airline [Applause] [Music] we are back now Sammy Kaye said you won thank you I good to see the guys in the band they were all in my dressing room tonight saying why is he back Johnny who was with Joe venuti Johnny is one of the big trumpet players I spoke to the hospital your lip is gone that's all the inside stuff once in a while John like you said the other night you missed the band now you I did miss them you were on big team messing it up and say to your wife I wonder what the trumpet player is honest you told me you could care less what they do horses gonna spit up grass a millionaire I'm not a millionaire clothes last time I did there was trouble that's right I tell you anybody that's listening he has a little tool apartment in Encino will you live up in Beverly Hills hey we got to show these outtakes before we get too far behind you got this show coming up at Don Adams called a couple of Don's when I say one thing Don and I working together but little soldier what I want to say is that Donna Adams and I the uncanny thing about it is this man makes me laugh and he says hello and we enjoy each other September 8 I think personally Joseph skander might not only first time in my life I said Joe you take charge do what you feel if you think it's funny let's make it go so we took a shot and I think it's the best thing I've done and Don I can speak for Don to because we really worked hard on but looking at each other we really break up and enjoy each other as I do with you men rhymes you know that I'm being very sincere about it and I feel a little different about you you I want to marry I think the film will be self explanatory they're just some little things that's good words they call I'll take ya Freddie to cover to the producer when self explanatory look that up al watch the monitors in the studio this is self explanatory don't be a wise hall this is Don and on opening 141 couple of donuts [Applause] pretty exciting huh it is you know it's nice I'm looking for the dumbbell it's standing there going where do I go but the car 25 years seriously 25 years with friends and we finally got our own special and I think that's exciting could I talk yes okay okay what did you just say I said 25 years 25 years our own special let me read it following names will come up here and be taken away I'll tell the one that you want to come and use my bad could we take that from the top because that was that wasn't really good you don't know anything I mean you saw it had heat not in an old house stuff I was rolling right MA the old lady kiss your hand now that we have that on a show of course America doesn't want humor I want to see Dinah Shore cook you know that's so true what Glen said you know you say that should be part of it I've suggested to Bob for years Bob Hope when he comes on with the outtakes I says why doesn't somebody ever make it is just of the network's feel and sometimes they feel the talk that we understood is that half the world will not really be in on the end when you make mistakes if you set it up in between I think perhaps we have in this in our show we have some things that are mistakes that come out funny but I genuinely someday would love to do an hour of just outtakes you could if that could have you a great show I don't know how you'd have to clear all the right it's letters actors are so far we were working with some chickens and goats and sophisticated show knowing Burt Reynolds is doing this serious talk and in the background you this man you know and if and the guy you know and I couldn't understand why they were there in the first place that's why he got the chickens in the ghost back there anyway then we had 15 on takes of that and you know and rentals turn arrested I think the goats and he'd guys what a great great story we'll be right back after this word about vitalizer king of beers [Applause] [Music] [Applause] it's stopped yeah my my next guest I'm going to bring out not because we you don't have many fascinating stories but I don't want to get too far people Jimmy Breslin and this guy I think it's Dom you bring Dom is a I think beautiful guy he finally came into his own and I'm have everybody in our business and I think everybody really Dom he's a most likable guy he's not only funny but he's also a good actor which is a great combination a good human being he really is and he has a new show called lotsa luck which premieres on NBC next Monday September the 10th at 8 o'clock would you welcome Dom DeLuise [Applause] fantastic show having it done hasn't it been a wonderful show I'm watching Glen Oh in fact John I mean I have never seen anything as amusing as the outtakes we were going to show outtakes from our show but we didn't make them any mistakes deal with him he's like a you know I know I know I know and I'm here to defend myself you know it's a prison break you know but he follows me in the halls now yes how'd you get a show how'd you get a show that's the truth they wrote for me and you know I went in the clunker hooks up a wet wire and waits for a storm you know he's got a hit Joe Byrne who is one of the executives at NBC you see him in the hall with a broom going but I heard some talk with somebody saying some of the things you already made in this very regular and I've been very lucky I hope that this man really has a business of luck again you want to give us any is it bad luck to tell them what the first episode is about or you'd like to discuss it I don't know if it's been lucky I'm not gonna take a big question on I took a chance coming out here with him take a chance when you come out with him [Music] that means bananas he was a humble cowboy I've heard these lines on Pat Boone when I was at the lounge into Sahara and I laughed so hard I couldn't believe it's done spot jump in Dom you want to tell us about the first episode I'm afraid to mention if I'm going to mention it because actually NBC finally has admitted that people use bathrooms toilets right and that's what I reverse or our first episode it's about that when I got the scripts he called why now Bill Perkins and dental hello well I sent me this stuff and I said it's all about a toilet and my sister olive played beautifully by Beverly Sanders by the way gets our foot court in our toilet aren't you saying anything just gonna keep talking nobody's interested and we have to buy a toilet it's interesting it is yeah but you got to believe in it I mean if this is an idea of what America is gonna do we're in trouble we I saw you shooting that episode and it's really that's very funny yeah I did I know and it is I didn't see that very lucky you know really lucky a talented why do you keep selling yourself down the river you're talented right Roy Cathleen Freeman pays my mother and she's wonderful we got winner win paper burn Laura who has not worked in four years he's a fantastic and Jack night plays money plays my my best friend is he is he still here you know the other night I told him in the commissary I went over and say hello to him I said hello he says get away from me you know and the whole commissary drops whoops we're dropping everywhere you know he says can I tell you hi calmly you know Carmen says you always walk up to me yes and we knowing we've known each other a lot of you a long time and he won't accept me in the conversation now Jon you know that's the kiss of death and this NBC cancer you know is this everybody in the building has a lunch at the same time so the room is rather crowded every table is filled with people talking in this tone of voice and saying well I don't know it seems like it's gonna rain they're taking little things out of their eyes it's quiet you know I'm eating and tell exactly and I came home and I didn't would you like to insult me is what I said to him and I turned around and said don't will you leave me alone the show's gonna be a hit go away Royston that's right there's younger in that that's why you're from the Midwest any running the highway going your way downriver did your wife deal with you on this level or you have two kids so she was on one of the rides at Disneyland Roland Roy watch watch this segue speaking of wives my job is to tie all this together make some kind of order out of this chaos that's the idea Jim that's right now you've been working long hours are 9:00 to 7:00 9:00 to 10:00 that's a lot of hours my baby that long in your life the gate at NBC going you got a Buick now he's worried about the hours I don't see but does this affect your home life we got to get him back to the corral been Jagger's story tell me what you told me what's the funny story Dom what I don't see her so much my god your wife because they work long hours as I said about a couple of minutes ago and what happens is is we have to make it time freshest we have to double up it's what it is what was the story that I told you that was so good taking the baby you're too tired Oh is there a state home for cowboys no John not seriously what those are but sometimes with when I work hard and long yes it is really sometimes I'm very tight and I get so tired that I'm not so we're romantic that's problem when you have your own show right so I'd take a little naps during the day your wife must be a busy beaver my wife just lays on the bed and uh you got a minute [Applause] well she certainly knows your staying power [Applause] [Music] I think it was I think it was a writer Pat McCormick who did this line amongst a lot of a lot of guys have appropriated the line in reference to Don Rickles he said he called Don Rickles ones but Rickles was busy he was not walking his rat I don't know where it came from but would you welcome mr. warmth Don Rickles [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] Oh Oleg John you know these kind of nights as Berta said and Buddy is said and Eddie talk to you briefly with accolades of you know like 11 years and it makes my on my starting on The Tonight Show with you yeah it's like it's like everybody's back there saying gee eh you got to do good and you got to wish Johnny luck for you know what have you you know which we all do you know but I observing in the back say from the bottom of my heart Johnny you were very wealthy man last time you saw me I know that but uh I don't mean it in that sense of the good Lord has blessed you and your family and your lovely wife and your thank you so much bird bird is lonely but you know it's a very difficult thing when Burt Reynolds was a very glib guy a Buddy Hackett one of our great comedy minds and Ed McMahon who's at the end of the couch know I'm annoying buddy now saying can't you use me in Vegas [Laughter] I mean Eadie knows and I know Johnny's you don't have a friend you have me John because I still feel you're hot in the business my career has come a long way I am 47 years of age or 48 of them no no I'm 47 you're 47 we're the same age we're the same age wonderful so when the good Lord when we were both born and we came from our mothers God looked down and said make him rich and make him struggle and it turned out that way I'll be off in a minute Bert and then you can show this outfit I like Bert you know the first one when you were away don't you like me huh honestly yes no I take it no I adore you I know that it gave me an opportunity you even had me he had a little party the other night I must say and finished a buddy and Ed and birdie had a party for your anniversary what really it was just happy to fall on the same day no you were married a year to Joanna that's right correct your lovely wife was not here tonight unfortunately she's in New York with her organ and monkey oh he's the first one that laughs you should see his wife she said to me tonight on the phone wait where's Johnny coming home [Applause] now that's a joke question his mother's in Nebraska going but game we struck out Papa she's she's a lovely lady yes yes Johnny had a little party Bert and Buddy at Chasen's I can't say that but he was livin by didn't good night Darrin birth wasn't in town I was making you buddy but no you were at the Dinah Shore cooking show now he goes out with dinosaur you know I read why are you talking to me like I don't know because you annoy me that's it but Bert you will you invited truthfully Bert well he wasn't in terms not invited now don't make a big thing you said to me why invite a cowboy dumbbell said this guy with the two fisted karate baloney at the we don't need that we're all lovers and you dance and Johnny this is inside for God's sakes as Jack Benny would say and Jack was at the flood yes you all the biggies Freddie to carve it uh how do you say hoarder I kept mispronouncing it I hope you all night at the party DeCordova wonderful look at how the crowd got excited two guys in that bro dropped their pants and fired a rocket which you guys they're sitting next to the black out there right yeah done don't don't don't press Jenna you don't have to press you this is your show and it's 11 years and we all came here - in a football game probably the Detroit Lions are on the 50-yard line and what's that quarterbacks name the kid on the Lions no no no you don't know football the Rams are doing Whitsett quarterback you played football Blanchard right yeah Landry and the wife saying are we gonna fool around there on the 50-yard line this is a big night for me and I gave it all up to us to be here be here on your 11th anniversary and Dean was great he happened to be standing on the corner some sips he got a minute he just wandered in here and it's an exciting night but Johnny really I say it's uh Howard Jewish New Year and as buddy can say as as a fellow Jewish man not that not that that makes us better than anybody else I mean even though he'd take Christmas from us we and now I can see good Catholics and people all over the world writing and saying why did he say that fact but what I say is this that we this is our new year I'll be off in a minute then you can show everybody your dad's home in Florida his dad's a sheriff in Florida standing on the highway going can you get me a lift anyway so what do you resist did I know it's 5,000 and something who cares 15 there's a winning ticket and go home over I mean he says if that's before our generation I mean that is our year real happy we take the RAM so let me go Vikings come in and burn the synagogue what were you doing 11 years ago 11 years ago I was in the lounge in the Sahara hotel and I owe that to a guy called Stan our winner my manager Jessica Andoria and I was in the lounge and we used to do a show at 5 o'clock in the morning that's the first time I met you and you said at the far bar not true now they think I'm kidding we had met before in New York right where you got this when you had the daytime show hit the clock win a cookie no no hit the dime on the buzzer was that dumb show you what was called do you trust your wife huh you heard the crowd yeah everybody want me going for four years it sure didn't mean while I was up in Connecticut at the Red Lobster watching a lobster come off the table to that huge anyway anyway anyway folks segwaying eleven years ago I was in the lounge and I'll never forget when I met you and you said at the back lounge and I got so nervous as I am tonight for the first time in the history of The Tonight Show I say with honesty I am nervous nervous not the sense of worrying about my security as a performer but because it's it like an anniversary a special night I'm being very sincere about this and I must say to you Johnny on behalf of my family and myself and all your fans and this sounds like a you know like we said no harm a yes I know make them the nose go purple the guy went don't go purple but what I'm saying to you is I thank you I thank you for making my family and yours truly get a little bit up the ladder and I appreciate well I want to tell you one night he's working in the lounge in the Sahara and of course he's hilarious and everybody that was anybody in town that meant anything come to watch him people guys would cut that show so they can get out in time to watch him I mean he was the biggest drawer and customers couldn't get in they everybody wanted to see Rickles and one-eyed he gets a guy at the bar they st. them come here not see bite the stick just the ring Nazi Nazi hey Nazi Nazi I'll show you this nothing stand up and the guy stands that Rickles on a stage a stage is seven feet tall the guy stands up and if he stands up he's not on a stage he's I to island I reckon system you want to spit on a Jew [Applause] I would learner we're wristwatch that I saved that to buy with a beautiful resident I wanted that wristwatch and and I took over his watch and I don't as the curtain was coming down you know pretty fat guy take a run on a dive under the curtain and I give it to him there's five o'clock in the morning sometimes that last show I've just done for Burt came up with Merv Griffin up in those guys do good but this guy on his anniversary we can always say this on the anniversary will not say it again I you are without question 11 years hey you know we all make jokes about you and I'm the first one to sit in the greenroom guy he's gonna dump er or he's doing good or this or that and my vote on you but 11 years I'll tell you 11 years get up in the morning I look at the Lord and I bless him for my good things but I'll tell you after 11 years there is nobody better there is nobody that can come near you and I say with honesty you've got it made and God has blessed you with a lot of friends whoa Hank I've just leaned over says he believed that well buddy no joy cute around we'll take a short break here and we'll come right back wonderful [Music] another great kick about doing this show and I've said this publicly I'm just working with not only add we've been together at night for 15 years but having Doc Severinsen appear every night with a great [Music] he is without a doubt one of the finest musicians in the entire world on that trumpet and all the guys who play in our band our superb musicians and it's great every night you [Applause] tell yuan thank you could we could we get Freddie a little hand it's your producer but Wow so matter-of-fact everybody on this show you know this is very complicated show to do he was out here but then Bobby plane and Peter and all the coordinators and the writers and everything and Freddie to Cordova you've got a city it's a complicated show to put together and surely all of them and then you don't and what I think I know what this is for I've been announcing for the past four or five days that Sammy Davis would be on the show tonight and I don't want you to think that we were saying that just so you know people say hey yeah and then he doesn't show up but Sammy apparently is ill he's been working very hard in the NBC Follies they sent him home today from rehearsal out here and this is what he sent tonight is no it's not his read this is your I hope this will since we're gonna should have gotten that during the monologue this one I needed add rest in peace but Jonathan I say some wouldn't you say make a plan oh yeah right okay like a dumbbell he leaned over yes I don't I answer anything you know the whole secret over at 11 years when you die with monologues when you say die in our business doesn't he always come off funny it's like with Burt sense of humor he comes off and he does when he hosts the show and he doesn't mind like those men hmm and that's what makes people laugh because sometimes you get screams and sometimes you get what we call real hysterical laughter I lay on the bed many nights and I say to the wife yeah we had plans tonight but Johnny's rolling they say had monologues really your monologues have really become part of it will will be finished in a minute Freddie 30 is the dumbbell that says United field beef nice big chunks of it meat byproducts and beef chunks and you know your dog loves that the other thing that you can be sure about with Alpo is that it's a complete and balanced diet with soy vitamins and minerals so if your dog isn't already getting out Pope consider switching him to it because we think out both beef chunks dinner is a very nice way to say I love you to your dog oh here's something else that your dog will love liver snap straights are made with real liver and dogs will love them treat your dogs the liver snaps [Music] [Music] in Hollywood some of our guests stay at the new Sheraton Universal Hotel one of the more than 3-hundred Sheraton Hotels and motor Inns throughout the world [Music] olga connelly is where the Sinise she has competed in the last five Olympic Games in 1956 she won a gold medal for the four Czechoslovakian that discus throw in 1972 she was captain of the women's track and field team and she's currently director of Recreation at Loyola Marymount University would you welcome please Olga vertical vogue Connolly [Applause] [Music] it's nice to meet you looks like we have something dangerous planned here tonight and I hope I can get Rickles and mr. Durocher involved and this also just for the fun of it you had a you had an article in a I think Los Angeles Times after the Billie Jean King Bobby Riggs tennis match and you said I think in effect that there a lot of sports that women can compete on an equal par with men true not just only Tennessee obviously proved he can beat him yes they can but there are certain limitations I mean if you take a man and a woman who are equally trained and approximately the same size then there's a if strength is involved and speed then the man is most likely to win therefore it's not a good idea just to brush aside this whole question of opportunity for women competition right and let me say well high school girls can compete on the men's teams it just wouldn't work that why we have to have a very good program where women compete against other women and get recognized with their own category there are only very few sports that you could call it unisex sport like skeet shooting or pistol shooting because that's a matter of reflexes and coordination and the male-female called a coordination compares about the same knows what you're saying in a event like a skiing men because of their strength or probably be stronger skiers than women and they could never really compete yeah and that kind of an event yeah I also greater stability of joins and so forth I mean it's a it doesn't mean that the female is inferior or contracted an inferior way but simply there isn't as powerful 40 it's easier now you threw the discus now you could beat the average man in the discus throw could you not how far did you throw this because I'll have superior skills an average man hasn't trained but that's not a particular strength thing that's more timing than this strength its timing and strength especially nowadays you have to do a little weight lifting yeah you have to have quite a like when I was in Munich I could benchpress you know the bench press is do I near pants did then press 200 pounds and I could make a deep knee bend 390 a deep knee bend with 390 pounds on your shoulder it doesn't hurt so much but you can't you put the weight on and you feel your spine the vertebra okay you sing very high in the next 10 years hubby yes ah do you a lot of women against weight lifting they think it makes them they think it makes a muscular it's not true no it gives you definition right but it doesn't build like those what they call the big ugly master bi I remember when I came to this country my first meet it was in New York and people came actually down from the stands and they wanted to feel my muscles but you're not muscular you have you mean your arms I mean that's funny but I mean you don't have like big biceps oh you don't have big biceps only in order to build a big passion to work on is very now we're gonna try a few things which we have not rehearsed at all Greg kind of setup these events of what could I compete with you in or the rest of us here you'd like to come I didn't hear did you probably us what country are you from originally Czechoslovakia bless you we were in Yugoslavia so that's a beautiful and that's I know they yeah thank you for that travel what is that you hockey puck in Czechoslovakia and what apparel that just means I'm lonely yeah what can we try not know I don't really have anything but I can take my jacket off or something what's that mean arm wrestling that's not an event though in the Olympics is it no it isn't but a Wide World of Sports had that on one afternoon was a lumberjack somewhere up on Oregon where they where they do this I had the handle wrestling yeah they were incredible women and men now is that that's only strength isn't it yes your timing I guess there's some timing involved oh now I'm not very good at it yeah yeah I can see this coming over can I take my jacket thank you have this back Thursday any a back Thursday now how does this work I think I think like this okay no don't I get in like this there's no thumbs right now the elders have to know what you can't hang out with their left arm know that you've got a keepin yes you could call right there's no left arm that's it all right now you have to go this way and I have to go the other way is that it everything on your Mac that's it oh yeah that would be fine yes I will rough rate this one John go if I don't make you laugh I'm gonna you're gonna break my arm [Applause] yeah [Music] oh yeah are you strong no you're strong I was really I was doing the best I could do there no oh yes I was and you're strong wait now what this this I don't know what basket situps first and those are rough aren't they sit-ups what you want to get involved with Brittles hey whatever you say coach come on come on I'm gonna rough read you know kick some lime on your pain that's all right like this failed oh I think supposed to be timed time what do you mean first to 2525 get emergency squad here get the oxygen okay there's no way I'm free I will start there's no way you're gonna do 25 yep I know that start Go Go come on Don Hey one two three four five six seven eight keep your feet down [Applause] [Laughter] [Laughter] pillsbury bundt cakes fancy cakes made easy watch that ring of macaroon now you see it now you don't but slice the bundt cake and there's the macaroon inside chocolate macaroon is one of five bundt brand ring cakes from Pillsbury cake filling and glaze mix all in one box so you don't have to be a fancy baker to fake a fancy cake bundt cakes from Pillsbury no matter what your husband thinks you do Bundy's are busy so who has time to cook fancy of course that means Monday dinner can be pretty black well here's a fast easy way to stop the Monday dinner blast banquet he didn't serve fried chicken crisp evenly fried chicken in minutes children will be delighted and your husband will be absolutely transformed so stop the Monday dinner blast serve banquet fried chicken if in your grocers freezer [Music] [Applause] Don Rickles is here tonight he will be up at Lake Tahoe not in Lake Tahoe though possibly he may be in Lake Tahoe before his engagement is over from June 6 through the 20th and several weeks ago I went back to New York for the Friars Club where they attended him at dinner as the entertainer of the year it was it was quite a night would you welcome mr. warmth Don Rickles guess the jacket is shorter thank you so much yeah I spoke to your daughter Linda yes she wants the allowance increased as a lovely daughter that goes to summer camp and she's 42 what didn't I just say something and then we'll clear up the niceties that's that's a word yes I think affiliates are just people because they're just human beings I think but I must say for you for this past week and I watch and I'm a loyal fan because give me my first shot and I tell you to to a little bit of somebody knowing me and this goes for Ed McMahon I'm sure you'll agree I think Johnny Carson without music as I've hosted this show and I think without music and music is very important it enlivens a show and you and I just know my little expense sitting at desk you really know you really have to know what the heck is going on this man is an absolute genius well I said you'd mind that's very Dave Tebbit said go out there and [Music] that's very sweet up in that story I always cut like you do when it comes to compliment why is it a we as performance always have that insecurity if you say something nice about somebody a Tom Schneider from our network I said Tom I really enjoy the news and you've gone through this with me and he goes oh come on and and one of these I find it difficult to accept compliments I think you find it more in our entertainment world more so than you're right what do you everything you say is right what you going to milk a Clydesdale for a half our clients have to play it back they're annoying me I happen to love Johnny and you're turning on me you were the one that said to me make a big fuss let him feel that we love him no Ed McMahon is a good guy and he sits here every night on that couch night after night saying Johnny you're marvelous that goes out to Marina del Rey you honey you start the boat Dave hi Dave Dave Tibbett is a good guy we all talk yes you got three sets I got two so you're you're leading to nothing going about the third quarter of you you had a show they could stay on the air long enough you can get three you see if you guys haven't made it through the season yet you got to finish the whole year before you get to set well you know I live in New York and you're in Nebraska with your mom and dad saying I don't have any more money his mother and father are sitting on the porch and Nebraska going what isn't Jenny car and his father is not that way your dad is what about six-two mom your father try to think yes see when you get that rich you forget the family he's so busy in court all day long going who watch the soap you got a lovely wife now don't wanna who I saw I'm still trying to get the Hasek from the last marriage nagi-chan you've had hay not lucky in love but now thank God you've met the woman of your dreams really well hey folks we don't know he just calls head and eye and says I met the woman in my dream have his success we go find job Ned you've had you know never lucky in love you both handsome guys I'm married nine years I want to be with you guys so bad [Laughter] with you it just lays in bed goes help me with the jewelry now don't write letters you know if you taught me that don't write letters those of you in the Jewish world if you are a Jew I am proud they always say we're rich that's baloney we're human beings all of us and I wish peace Shalom to all of us now you didn't get married to until you were late in life well I you know most of us got married when we were in our 20s or something well to the Broads why did you wait to use you want to find the rent myself in a bathroom in front of the mirror going I was 38 years old now that's kind of long and that's no but you know we discussed this before and Ed you know what you guys got married your first marriage is and I'm not being sarcastic thirty-eight well I got knows when your kids you come out of college I never went to college I come up the hard way you guys just skyrocketed but I I commanded the neighborhood and they went the broad was always like me you know but actually what happened was I met the most darling lady in life late night because I work with strippers exotic dances it was in qalam today you know with the Cobra coming out of the basket and the Cobra one I want to be with you and the Broadway challenge me challenge me it's a long story I was laying in bed watching a morph die on the land you know I mean you get like that you find yourself on the street corner going miss and then I met my wife who said I'm not some perverted jerk on the person and now she's sitting at home just laying there going he's so rich it's so rich and my kids skipping through the house going make more gold they go go see they always say Jewish people have learn of money you're an Irish guy right that's right well you never would have money because you're too busy spending it on beer you just sit around the house in your bathroom not really now the Irish people are great I'll tell you the night we need the Irish no huh we don't are you gonna lead me into cousin Casa I means Maya I am NOT going to go into my egg you dumbbell from Nebraska I hope you wind up in a week filled with fungus on your elbow I made it the elbow Oh John I tell you this is an exciting night all these affiliate I was at the affiliate dinner last night where you could make you were up in Las Vegas at the Ellen King tennis tournament and you said I don't want to be there I want to play tennis [Music] when you're that rich folks he's right you're wrong I'm just a little guy trying to skyrocket head was there right I was there you didn't know about it but you were there I didn't know about it either that's true we had a little big warrant out drinking last night you yes last night we busted out I told it we we took a table in the back just kandorian my manager is not here tonight there's a holdup in the Bronx it surely would from your staff your brain broke you know surely and what happened was that we stood in the back and there was a little beautiful man his name is George a little Puerto Rican man and most guys in our world and you say ethnic backgrounds and we all come from a certain world and George was a little beautiful Puerto Rican man and he came to me saying mr. acre you want to have rain I bring your drinks and it was buffet Dave tepid figured this out it was buffet for 7,000 people from an affiliate stomach [Music] [Applause] sit-down dinner and dawn dawn Durgin one of the big executives said is there some sort of luau going and Bob Howard the new president was going it's a party [Laughter] the new president I met him he was beautiful I mean that you don't see a guy with a cowboy hat in a cap pistol reception line going bang bang you're dead anyway but you go along with you're a millionaire you just phone your attorney and say I'm Moody I lost my thought I don't know what I was talking about what are we good friend oh yes it's wonderful man Georgie is a thing and I love the way they talk and I say this to my Puerto Rican my Cuban friends god bless you you're beautiful people and we all have to live for ourselves which I preach in whatever I do and the great thing was he came over I said George I don't like buffets the reason I don't like buffets because I came from New York my whole life was standing in line and Bickford saying eggs eggs and a guy and always the black man was in the back door I got a wash all the dishes I got a dishes and the Jewish guy was at the table going in the park the average guy was going to zero party did I cover anybody for the training so I wish you'd do your act though I kind of Miss that but anyway but anyway folks uh so the person I said to Georgia said here's tender I swear to god John I said here's $5 because buffets I don't know you know your whole life not that I'm a snob I certainly am NOT I came from the street of New York I came up the hard way well middle-class people I didn't come up the highway is you you can't for middle-class family did you come from in a class middle class middle class good no no it's all seven its middle class girl already on all middle class no so the middle income family Tommy came from middle income family nil didn't confirm would you come for their high class but there's a difference there is what do you think whatever he thinks is best boyy yes so you don't have the guts tell him tell him you're fed up you're gonna grab him by the legs I'll make a wish it loves you Johnny I always loved you I don't care what you say you're the best talk show guy in the world you give me a break all right fine one thing remember no matter how big you get these are the affiliates these are the people that made you a multimillionaire love thy neighbor as I love myself you are not of my faith but I bless you gem acclaim Hanoi Hanoi Hanoi and I made you a helicopter the commercials gonna have the operation at my age that is smart you do it bob newhart does take a glass of scotch ago well we'll take a short break here but we're coming right good shot of your back David nice nice left shoulder the suits hanging just a little bit you have there taken it you know the public really doesn't know because we've been kidding around we as performers and you John are being with this network so many years and for many many more to come because nobody can do what you do but the whole punchline Dave Tebbit is a guy that every actor has admired and loved and other networks that you I must say CBS has it has Bob wood ABC morning star but tag that knows Dave is the kind of guy that takes you into his arms and says hey windows a drawer I'm your friend and when you fail he sends you a gift and that's unusual and I tell you David tepid to all the affair it's just my own feeling and my wife and I you're a beautiful man [Applause] you find it you find it a thing with the network that's why I made that speech yeah that's our turn now yeah Noah NBC has given me another chance and I just hope I get lucky as you said and you and I have talked about things that I just hope that they can capture what Don Rickles is and I really don't know what that is but maybe someday I'll get lucky oh little bit it'll happen thanks John my next guest no we have to move along as you know fine whatever you say John we have by the way I just got a call she left the wife you'll be in court again with the same lawyer going and that McMahon's going all testified Oh Michael Anna's you know is a fine actor he's got a new show of new NBC series called Little House on the Prairie which will start in September would you welcome Michael inside no last time you were talking about the special was that time was just a special Little House on the Prairie and it did so well I understand you're going on now sir that's right we're on the air with a with another series are you gonna direct him to do you'd record that last we did you are yes I directed the the two-hour pilot I'll do probably four out of the first thirteen and then hopefully I'll do a few more because we're picked up can you be objective as a director when you when you're on the scene yourself can you step out and go back and say hey now I'm looking at my client and I'm the director yes [Laughter] takes care of that question a lot of actors can't they say suppose most actors they say make not good directors because they can't see the forest for the trees or the trees for the forest one of those tools for an actor once you left the mirror you're okay let the honey sick from the drape but don't let the bird die honey sip from the tree sound like david carradine well and i don't know you two people are talking ed and standing at going hot stro that's definitely I sure loved you and Johnny Belinda don't turn on me I love you what to juice and Ike these are my people can you imagine if they played it legitimate have the men move it out because you think a Gentile owns a big ranch like the Ponderosa Carson lays back when he thinks it's trouble he's my friend he and I we can I do so many times she did you ever work in anything together Don and I know you and that's a set over there you know we've been together on several occasion right we have but I've never had anything to do he's as they're involved all human being as an actor yes but he went without as an act he's a fine director he really I loved him but he he went to drama school did you know that who did the television set him Rickles went through oh well I went to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts which that and two cookies wins me a trip to Disneyland hell of an actor I think he's a fine actor I don't know for the people out there who have seen Don in a dramatic performance as a fine actor well thank you Michael now tell them the reaction that people feel the same way [Applause] see when I do stay I got something to say little coffee to relax John you're awfully quiet tonight I'll say that no that's why I'm no well you're talking to though this is your spot I'm here with it trying to finger John oh did you what did you attend on an acting troupe yes I was I went to a dramatic school at Warner Brothers Studios it was a free school they didn't pay the actors and for a long time they they worked that way and that school was dissolved at a certain point when this is many years ago in like 20 years when when Jack Warner found out they had it he came up one day and said what is that it's a dramatic school and he said it's closed and that was in I was watching the executives cars that's how I got on the lot I drove the cars in and I went to dramatic school there for about four months it was a good school but they you didn't get you had to pay for that or than one no no they didn't pay me I didn't pay them it was just a freebie thing and what was your first part first part that I ever did tell the truth I saw it for money yeah I think with the eight when you played the game no no with the head you were a vampire oh no I was a werewolf that's don't you love dogs I was telling about I was I was a teenage werewolf was my first I was a teenage werewolf no I was no I know that was a 14 years on the ranch didn't hurt the old brain I want to tell you well Jim Arness once was in Mo's the Creature from the Black Lagoon no he was in the thing well that's close thing Oh giant frozen asparagus shut up Johnny and get on with this first pencil gets a rupture how can a pencil get a rough you don't know but we're trying to keep it rolling okay we'll take a small break here we're back my guest for Don Rickles Michael Lannon you know I didn't know that about that was a teenage werewolf I really really didn't do you ever look back on that and say I suppose when you're young and you're in the acting business you take what is available if you want to get into it right don't make excuses for films I make oh I'm not being introduced for I thought it was a very good harder picture I happen to like horror films yeah and I thought I was marvelous I won an award from the SPCA I think was a worthwhile film do you remember what you got paper in it yes I had I got six hundred dollars and 42 pounds of raw hamburger what happened after I was a teenage werewolf after I was a teenage werewolf I had one of the pluses from it I had complete respect from my younger children now I went on from there to to bigger and better things I stopped biting friends and I did I played the albino and Gazeta Laker it's really killing yeah what's the first club you ever played what was the name of the furry first pay date the albino Club No what was the name of life III tell you the truth to the best of my recollection the the club that we both know that like can bring you some recognition was Murray Franklin's in Miami Beach yeah and then the elegant in Brooklyn little joints before that no I see you all the time at slates well yeah but that was late in life I was doing good then I was getting $350 a week and Henry was taking 350 back it was a long story we don't want to go into my life just rolling wrong about your albino marine Raiders don't suck me into his made me tricky trade I did pictures with Frankie Avalon would sing the beach ball is missing that's right you were in beach blanket bingo how do you got your finger out are you Uncle Sam I know what I was in dumbbell is this a test when we hit a bell go to geography two affiliates win come on Harold the bell rang what was the picture you made with Frankie Avalon I did bikini beach party with a net phone a cello who was not here tonight she's pumping up beach balls Oh a Jack Gilardi I did I don't know I did a lot of those pictures hey it's not my life dumbbell I know now fed let's say something ed do you try rolling Don you do what you do best head the marine greatest fights on Murray [Music] it's a long night jump in Mike oh I'll make you feel relaxed [Applause] would you hide you either done would you never like gorgeous Vidya yeah I don't mind horses Oh somebody didn't like horses won't Lauren didn't like horses that was the guy Lorne Greene right baby gate a Canadian Mountie the Canadian mountain right never like posters well the only problem with the horses is that Ted four of us mounting together as a difficult proposition that is not easy I found that out at a party I was that one yeah this big stallion it was fantastic I was before I the missus would always say I don't understand that that's why she's in a room with a rubber duck and happy you just wait long enough there's a biggie along the way sometimes we hope they have the band playing number look at this the affiliates went the band's here when you made some real money you know when you got on bonanza and you started getting what's the first thing you want to buy that you never could afford the first thing I wanted to buy when you finally got some money said hey I'm gonna a long salami now I'm gonna take you may think that's a very funny joke I do if you come from if there are two things when you're a kid if you've had a very thin slice of salami that you're remembrance and that is how dynamite salami is and it's very expensive when you come from a family doesn't have a lot of bucks a salami is expensive and the first thing I wanted to have was a long salami and olives with pimento kosher because they're expensive too and I love just I have a very big salami in my closet very little clothes so we we all have our problems my god you sure you sure you want to go into this in detail I mean we all have our little problems I mean you want it yes I'll go into him it's delicious and also it helps you get your boots on just slide it in there like a slick on the leather salami and olives I thought you wouldn't wanted you were serious oh I'm very serious like saving right isn't it the truth like you think about the days like you don't have a buck and you you we all save something in our life saying hey if things don't go right is that pretty much just or no I just happen to love salami and couldn't afford it thank you for that interpretation Don and now back to John Chancellor in New York we're gonna take a little break here or the wind will do that and then Freddie Prinze is with us tonight he's got a new show coming up with that neighbor Jack Albertson ibz called Chico inside 19 years old and I wish him every success it's the funny young man I don't believe and we'll do this first if you want that oil free look all day so here's how you know he's a dumbbell natural wonder all free makeup from Revlon skip in the park John Friday nights at 8:30 beginning September would be a new show on NBC called Chico and the man for one of its stars is a young man we were talking about a moment ago he's 19 years old he's the son of a Porto Rican mother and the Hungarian gypsy father believe it or not and he has sensational poise for being a little [Applause] bit strange that you are sighs why did I bring that up I know there I know there's a full moon and that's what happened did you notice there's a full moon outside yes I can feel it well that's the wait what's going on around here alright anyway we have a Vicky's car with us tonight burt mustin who am i leaving out and Raquel and this general a dear friend really and on Friday November 14th he's gonna have another shot at immortality they're going to they're gonna give him a special on another network and NBC is countering that show with something entertaining he's also going to host right here the week of when October the 13th I believe would you welcome this year's poster child for rabies [Music] Louie Bellson he give him a solo he goes bananas I feel Louie I spoke to pearl she's fed up doing each traps okay look at your notes and let's get it over with who needs and we haven't for five months yeah really has so not no Mike career has been yeah but it's nice to see you again but you're doing a big special yeah we are November 14th hmm and CBS every Network takes a shot at that's right we feel the public is wrong and we're gonna we keep trying and Dave Tebbit and Bob wood and Freddy Silverman you all sit together huh what are we gonna do with the Jew what are we gonna do you know and one black guy in the hall goes I know what to do with him you got a problem no no I get this this uh you use this thing for how long you've been using that isn't that the call to the for the Bulls the bullfighter right right that a boy you get another one right you'll go on to hit the music and win a dog that's right man really by the way I sweat Joanna in the fashion show your wife you remember yeah by 10:00 yeah come on she's sitting home now in the estate going I hope he brings the check anyway when he met her she went under the name of Luverne Luverne I said the dove died and Ja and Doc sits here going I want the job tell them what you told me how fed up you are filling in for everyone if you like this guy here when God gave out personalities he skipped them how do you feel Tommy had a boy I spoke to the clinic you're doing great good to see the guys in the band the shipment will be in Friday the one trumpet player one he knows about it what do you been doing since I've seen I know you've been with a new heart you want on another vacation you always go on vacation with a new heart well it life doesn't seem it seems like a big vacation but really yeah by the way I must say my mother's been under the weather so that's every hope you watching yeah and I'm not to bring his show on a level it thank god she's pretty good but there she's in my own Sinai on Miami action betta we hope you get better on it she loves you and I said mama I'd mention I said hi mom and I spoke too and she sits in oxygen you know she says that said disease emphysema so I sit by the bed I said mom see the family see with a lot of families with every family when we get older we all have my mother has great Drive and everybody likes to say how does she look to you you know so Barbara and I arrived in Miami and I said mother and the doctor said Don mom's gonna be okay but you know she doesn't look great you know but don't tell her that now my two aunts meet me in the hall and go wait do you see her but the Jewish families all sit by the bed and go oh and I said mom you look great I wish but she's coming along fine and she watches this is she staying up especially tired to watch the show she watches this very often to those [Music] but she loves you and she remembers the good days we first show enough and to this day isn't it odd that I look at you so you feel you're part of it you look like a bad couch salesman you know I mean let me get a substitute find a guy he did this isn't his thing you know this thing is sitting home so my what was I saying I don't have the slightest idea doesn't matter this is good if you live in the islands but we we we remember when I first came into this day nervousness what I say to this day I come on your show and you don't get nervous anymore well I read my read the very first night you were on the show actually and you were the white-knuckle remember yeah oh sure we'd known each other you know seen each other in clubs and so forth oh did we ever when you said to me we did not drink anymore and I and the time I saw you you were a little overweight and running around saying little girl right remember we were both in heat but now we're both happily married so you went through a couple of warm ups but I went to the main event see I didn't go for the certificate I went with many young ladies if you like a dumbbell from the Midwest where where do I sign out I I get to visit the heck enhancing every other thirsty go look at the front of you anyway let's don't talk about that no I got the reason we can talk about those things is because you John you know this is a great pressure game you know I'm gonna you've asked me and Freddie to cover the cavada and peeta peeta Godiva did the guys you know and because of you have asked me they were hosts for week while you're gone and another one of your great tours around the world you know his lovely wife isn't here tonight she's packing she gets up in the morning going where we going Joe you know the first time I was ever out of this country was three or four weeks ago yeah and you might have missed actually actually I never try hardly ever travel I know you don't because and I have a great statement about that because my reality it's it's a classic my family said my mother says Boulder Dam and the Colorado River it's America [Music] and the doctors go she's alive because it's true we have a great country in the euro when we get a few bucks well you you're beyond that you are a man that you put surprisingly because of being well educated you went to the University of Nebraska right I finished there yes yes what did the meters say that was a four could we go on now no anyway you studied bad corn Nebraska that's right and he's now singing homegoing punch that's a quick board he's a I know a nun for I know that I often wonder what's in there oh hello folks just cigarette thinking cars coming out cooler I try anyway uh what are you a seal anyway then a broad applauding a cigarette talking about gravity you travel all the time you've been more places than I have not really you've been to Mexico you've been Mexico is beautiful I really love rice you answered my heart yes I went with the new heart sways a good deal you get her one no no the new hearts the new waters live in help last yeah he comes in and says oh you want a breakfast and he's not even Japanese an idiot breath ah but we went down to Mexico and it's great in Mexico the unfortunately the Presidente in the country they with all economic problems today you don't have those problems you have a big ranch with one horse going hi doc Johnny you don't have to worry about that at all you just sit up in bel-air and say it's your serve Harold we people have to work you understand that's why I'm on this for the 350 to cover the new room three foot on the house 320 320 it's 350 for me otherwise I go to the commercial and be chopped oh okay will do they don't be nervous all right I'll do my best and you're getting greater when you're getting Balder I know yes but you're older and I spoke to the clinic you have tops a year now you're loved we're gonna come right back oh really hello there dad here kiss my poop watch Wilma after this message okay we're really good friends you know people strangely enough you'll hear oohs and ahhs once in a while and I think we're good brands right well I got notice that doesn't sell though if we came out and I was kind of kind to you I mean three guys in Oklahoma would go shut him off the dummies are getting nice to each other you know yeah you're right so let's tell it like it is you annoy me because I they don't want to know what I feel the act is isn't it the truth when you establish an image you establish an image your image has always been America I mean there's never any for Bob Hope you know gets up in the morning right and they hoist him on the pole and the white Dolores was bad I mean that's America's own thing it's not that Bob isn't a great American you know unless you heard something don't know everybody you know has their thing my thing has always been the heavy the Bandit you know I've always loved you you know but you played motion pictures even before you became loved you yes you played motion pictures before you became well-known on television I saw you the other night in a submarine picture game run silent run silent run deep yeah that was my that was my claim to fame the best thing that ever came out of that was knowing Clark Gable yeah with people there was a great man mr. so but I mean that though is he acting when you do Italy Mabel you used to do a little Gable well I'm not rich little you know I know that and I'm not Frank Gorshin I know they me finally starting to get to me yeah but uh Gable said to me this is the this is the this is truth uh gable said to me one night we set jack wooden who I adore I don't see China any but he's a fine actor Jack warden he asked me to come in the dressing one night he said gaben wanted to talk to you and you know when you said cable in those days I complete to this day if the good Lord put this certain people you're in or even I'm sure you Jack Benny wrist is so you weren't always an order of Jack so when Gable walked in the room I I said mister gamely said golly Clarke I said well sir all I just want to say it's a great treat to be in this film with you he said I want to tell you something kid you know something you're crazy you pick on people but remember would you do the world is going to jump on you when they do do it Gable does take a bill taboos look up and say hey god I'm doing my best that's pretty much pretty much the truth because we all have to take a stand you know I go on this show many times and I'm always jumping on you and so forth and people if I don't really do want to jump on you because I have many many problems I I'm married ten years and I got a great wife and last night you know the erector set I got a little excited so I said pussycat and she put a bowl of milk under the bed and we just laid there and hum for about a half marriage isn't all sex right John what there's more to it so it really is and I'm trying to find out what it is but we love each other and we're very very happy we're married now ten years how long you married how unfortunate let's some bad breaks you had some bad breaks well your time now is you're jinx I'll roll the dice again but you got a love you just can't think hey Shirley Here I am you got to do what I do open up your robe stand on top of the bathroom and go hello world let them know who you watch get wild get crazy well the world cheese on your lips anything world's getting smaller all the time sure that's a good comment here's a word you're a real dummy you always were more holistic how about a crazed physician crazed physician yes terminally insane yes I think would you welcome mr. warmth Don Rickles [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] throw them out right away a vicious guy I hope your penguin dies in your tub [Music] hello happy no you really drink coffee absolutely hey Eddie get a cruller we'll get the cab out about a hip fire oh really yeah I'm a prize how do I care remember you made up for a lot when you were terrific well like the old days used to just lay around the restaurant abuse it jam it captain your mother was in Nebraska going he's bad he's bad you were Jewish people we don't drink we just sit there serve one another one sir now you and I had some moments together ourselves let's be honest well hey we had our heyday now I'm you're a little older than I am still young I know when we played tennis you forgot first stunt now I was just telling Bobby Quinn the director you know there's a little [ __ ] in the booth right ah nothing wrong about little people I love little people but he keeps running around I see Matt Oh clubs all the time sucking on my ankle anyway why do you do that well I sling right what do you do that it's a nervous habit never will get over it go to a rest home or something husby did you get engaged then yes I did sorry did you did you just see the girl again engage to certainly have Oh God just like the front of a bad bus she's a pretty girl you got to be alone on the highway searching one if you don't get Bambi you're a big fella you can handle it anyway I just can't picture you on the wedding night on top of the furniture folks we're gonna laugh please slaughter girl when she takes off the girdle I love that Victoria Victoria lovely girl love it I met her in the Navy shoes to stand on a dock I must say that it you had an engagement party yes which we weren't invited to but I'm not I'm not her dude wait you see the gift we give you a picture of my gynecologist on his way home my king anyway rhythm buddy richest in the backbone mom and daddy mommy daddy mommy daddy mom dad you don't see this anymore goddess well with the new wife okay so don't fool around you can just go Wow but what is Bobby Quincy who cares oh now I remember when we put first place you don't play tennis it you've got trouble moving that damn thing around put a little on top I never saw you perspire laughs Jen tell guys like you once in a while you and Johnny get a little Trickle yeah Jewish people we perspire we're emotional you people from the Midwest you know well you're from Philadelphia but originally where were you from Lowell Massachusetts I had a strict family we were not allowed to perspire hey when you get this you know I know that you know that I be a bra once at a party I gave you a little any riches on the show and he's a black belt one set up oh you've never forgotten we had a party once in Las Vegas remember and I came over and just we're all fooling around that's right and I gave you a little well you had a couple of belts so we had a good time and John you know Edie when I we're not interrupting ah me it keeps looking at the light going isn't it on me in brewing beer and anything really good takes pride Katherine Coleman is home just what is that guy need a break give me a good sideline shop do what I can man turn it on huh when you take up sports photography you know what's coming it takes extra effort to get exactly what you want it takes pride in what you're doing and the guts to stick with it [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] I really am sorry about your aw man the Budweiser people have that kind of pride too and every taste of beechwood aged Budweiser says loud and clear hear it talking [Applause] [Music] Tonie Musante stars in quality of mercy a special movie Thursday at 9:00 8:00 central on NBC [Music] yeah thank you doctor yeah John Byner Cathy rich Dale Alexander's and [ __ ] about here and uh well I got you might tell you how to fill that out why I you know I I wonder why guys worry about that you know you gotta be yourself you know like you have a full head of hair but it's thinning you know no no in the front you had much more when you were younger look at some was darker when I was younger darker you know I had a little pompadour remember those in your high school and little pompadour wonderful it's these are good facts but I really feel like Jack rest is so gods but I must say that as we get older we change and hair is not the big thing oh don't worry I didn't say well no you made fun of people little bald I wasn't making fun of your [ __ ] there's real thing you're not really bald not steamy I'm gonna knock this marine right on the floor really got it in for you tonight you know why why because you just found a beautiful girl did you did you meet or something we made choice to those of you that love it you three no yes you you you never are you gonna when the head gets married are you gonna go for a few beans and give him a nice party I'm just going for a few beans I begged I said it be yourself walk right up to him one night and go hey John he's thin he'll fall down you know the furniture just sit by the desk who's gonna stop you Freddie the Spanish Freddie depravity give it adequate if you wanna me when is he going to the parties with his wife Janet saying to big people I'm Freddie I'm Johnny's producer go away dumbbell go away tell Lou can you can you break the big news happen in your dressing room tonight or is it too premature did I happen to be there at that historic moment I must say what you said which is a classic what happened was uh NBC has once again as ABC has and CBS has and three presidents of network's now at Forest Lawn going wide but NBC and Dave Tennant my dear friend and I knew we were in because he sent a gift or a gift arrived an eight-by-ten glossy of a TV set what I knew then and there waiting to see if the show that Aaron Ruben and I mm-hmm long with Joseph scan Dori my wife Barbara who was fully behind this thing another pilot we have been given another opportunity to skyrocket to fame on television Johnny Carson started me on television and you've held me back once again NBC seemed fit her Wow well you've seen the whole going with my wah-wah all these big executives you another show yes no I'm going to open up Ralph's market and squeeze to meet it is it getting fed up with um you will get fed up you will be since you don't get it you changed it will be seen in this country no no be seen in Yugoslavia we have the run is it on I gotta go you ever spend an afternoon in Acapulco wait up Tommy I don't eat better than I know how I walk hey the dumbell drama to wait to see the great one come out he's in the back now going my wrists so you go what was this one is it she'll go on the air this doesn't go on the air we wait too long we put a wet wire on a lip and hope it's not going on the air we're just gonna kill time will you've had a lot of pilots ever yeah I mean you've got a lot of tell them the line I said you've had your hand and more pilots and an Air Force proctologist I know that's a guy that stands in the hall anyway you must you brought up Roger I usually think was a guy on a sub anyway uh that's a little team i ported to see the periscope yeah well I wish I practiced for those you don't know if you have a well never mind I know what it is oh hey go for anyway to tide you over to that show your guesting on Medical Center yes now what are you playing on that I'm playing what you think the [ __ ] more calm and I didn't say that now the people laughed when they said hi I start are you diseased most people who do get shot very they're horribly something terrible has happened to them what has happened humans well - anointment and I it's a some sort of seafood [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] dramatic show Ganon chatter it was a wonderful actor I know this because she called me today is that I'm a wonderful actor Jared and now warden fry warden these are big people these are guys that hang around MGM with little ball going your third anyway uh they have a big problem they weren't in the service they skipped around the house a lot anyway yeah Mike marine Raiders right yeah alright squadron what do you play in Israel what is your role I was on a roll with this man about the Marines I stayed right in my bunk with my cleanup of my record day and that's it that got me through qualms about two months I yell it out boy rewriters are you ready he's one two what not what is the dramatic part did you play what do you Al Jolson well maybe ah the dramatic part I play why don't you go up in the aisle and make an appeal No rally from Israel do you play a doctor you old lady with Jewish no I don't play a doctor who would believe me as a doctor I got trouble spelling it I play a guy who is a cynical ah bitter man oh my god I'm playing me but I play pretty much a guy and Ruth puzzle what is wrong with you are making the pin they in a story what's wrong with you what is wrong way what are you hung up on diseases well you're a patient right yes it's either well I have ulcers I have well that's what I want is why not and I'm dying because I need this operation oh I know don't don't go to pieces and Ruth Buzzi who is a lovely actress it sounds crazy the girl at the pocketbook and as Ruth is and I know you're gonna laugh I you do but I'm gonna suck your neck why would I laugh ha why would you live because this show isn't making it that I saw you and I saw you and Kelly's Raiders Kelly's hero elgrands was a pitcher you soar on Hollywood Boulevard with Ed one night and with the blankets he'll be ahead ah man makes four million dollars by Tikal now when you're that rich you don't cause you just go hello get rid of it see most people don't know well of course they don't that's why I haven't finished the statement oh [ __ ] the show actually you know what I have done that you actually went to drama school the New York actors drama play along again the New York actors drama place is a garage where you and I had a broad Thursday nevertheless you went to the New York drama you were to the I didn't go hit the place I went the American Academy of Dramatic Arts same thing as I met the drama place in new you don't know it's not the drama place in New York you never went to a drama school you're in Nebraska saying to the heifer anyway uh you better realize you were never an actor you just skyrocketed to find out in the trailer hold it I appeared on Broadway beard on Broadway really in Tunnel of Love did to United States Steel hours but you're a self conscious guy people don't know that you're not basically an actor well come on be honest what are you eating that I can't act ah fair statement yes I said let me put you stick you are not enough you are a multi-millionaire in what you do there is nobody now my time out rats clipping on the 40 and Larry mccutching won't we lose than you dumbbell we do and Jimmy Harris my arm I'm Burt Chuck Knox is gone what's the score do you consider yourself and Howard Rosenblum is in the ballpark knee cut that out folks he's in the dressing room going you consider yourself 37 to sip oh you got some more excuse me oh no we're gonna say okay if I smoke bother you [Applause] [Applause] why [Applause] [Music] [Applause] he's not gonna respect you in the morning [Applause] on the lobby as he's been talk to the animals talk to the bird it'll be wonderful you just sit with him and hunt animals and birds and you'll get a day job go back to Chicago and do what you do best count carry the 2005 6:14 okay [Laughter] [Music] it's notes I'm Annina now and I know this is not your land you crazy this is now your night you take a course and cigarette box [Applause] [Music] [Applause] those of you from the other world Merry Christmas what the hell happen is well as long as it's you've seen what happened you know how long I've had this cigarette box on his desk you brought that out from New York I brought this from New York what on earth it happened last night ooh Don Rickles I did not see daughter last edit last night are you putting me on no no no Don Rickles did it last night on the show he thanked the hell did he do with it it's the wood is broken that's an heirloom well that looks I've had that box from Lucy who I sit here and I get my pencils during the show to keep my sanity I haven't broken that boxing don rickles how does he do it what did he know he was having a fit you know how could you tell I just saw him and makeup getting ready to tape that fpou Turkey CBO Shirky I don't know he told a joke and it didn't go well and he got upset and they didn't learn is he instead he hit it he hit with his he deeply know what he's taping across the hall CPO Sharkey when I get over there can I get over there [Applause] be right back [Applause] just follow me cause he and Judy are they taping are they on the air I don't give a damn if I'm here [Music] brickel's Greco Holt stop the taping stop the taping somebody broke my cigarette box I just started the show I think my box up off my desk as I've had for nine years my box is broken they told me they told me you broke it on the show last night well III realize hanging you're right are you in the middle something no no we're just hanging around waiting for a navy that just ship to come in did you break this box yes I I did I I'm sorry you know how long I've had this box on the show about nine years I'm not just hot from New York look at this that is very expensive it's a darn shame I'd give it to Tony Randall for a wedding gift no I want to know what you plan to do about this well I plan to wrap your hand in it what do you want it for me no I'm sorry to come over to interrupt your show Bo and I saw this I got so insane right it's millions of dollars what do you care wait a minute what do you know I'm just coasting away here with six people trying to stay alive millions of dollars what are you doing with the money this can't be hid affiliate kid Dennis James and I'm a bad contestant yeah I hope you kept the cotton mill down south this show goes like the others you're out of work come January [Music] he places wonderful large wonderful beautiful x-ray of your lungs look I didn't I didn't mean to interrupt your timing here cuz I know you're in your big dramatic scene you know in your position today you really are on one of the biggest guys in the business I want to help I want my next Christmas I'm gonna make sure a tree drops on your head no but I'm sorry about the bow so I will come up with some well I hope so but just keep me on your show you means so much to be certainly no no no no no don't don't humble yourself in front of these people so don't humble yourself buddy I want something back okay carry on carry on Johnny Carson they know who I am but he's got to watch himself because Carroll is a two-fisted guy ever since I've known him he smokes the cigar is that the booze going is everything and all we needs the Broads but we got the two wives sitting there going down down down down oh this is Frank Johnny's box [Music] he dies I'm gonna put him in this no this is his cigarette box it's his favorite box it's a long story is it dummy it isn't forty million dollars he sits with his wife Joanna on the floor goes it's your turn anyway and they put the trains through the tunnel it's a whole dim remember seen you instance work the stranding was there for two years tulip it went down and he didn't know about it anyway that's a show business joke [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] yeah yeah okay my next guest and good friend mr. warmth Don Rickles is is finally very busy his television series CP Oh Sharky seen on NBC Wednesdays at 9:00 will still be on this fall that's a new record Rickles has lost more pilots in the Japanese air force I got a good mind in early folks he is that he's also the host and I write Joe who's our host of a television special us against the world lures the u.s. against the world either way us or us anyway he does that on NBC September the 7th from 8 to 10 o'clock and on September the 27th through August that too not through August on September 27 through October the 2nd he will be at the Boston Music Hall the Stephen Eadie busy busy busy would you welcome Don Rickles [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] bless you birds [ __ ] a bird museum where you going boy I know you go into a Grange meeting or what this is a high-class show this is not something I know I know forgive me but I usually don't trust that I don't know you took this we come from the same school of being meticulous and dress accordingly one night you wore a white jumper suit and I and I said to my wife I said hon look at that and she said hey looks absolutely adorable my wife is a lonely choice to adjust thanks around the park going high but halo and news planes taking up lead I just got to say something because this man nobody realizes before by the way we already just all them Oh could you just leave certainly you'll get screwed in them why don't you tell my money and made it you stalked out why they've good to see us I spoke to the hospital your lip is gone you've started to tell us why you're attached this way I'm dressed this way let's do one thing at a time otherwise you'll get I get the feeling I'm at a clinic and you're my son hi and I know your problems for players they don't know anything anyway the reason I'm dressed this way I usually come out with the time to shake John knows meticulous but we're rehearsing CPO Sharkey and there is a rumor and a story about CPO Sharkey that it went in there and John bless his heart since we've known each other I've had trouble with my own show I have the best show in the world I say it and we are wearing CPO Sharkey tonight and super chakra will be on the fall and you people vote and right now I'm begging you [Music] so we'll be on in the fall but there's no way or date and that's why I'm just like this we just got through rehearsing and Aaron Ruben is a brilliant man I'm glad to hear you're on the phone really I mean that we got a guy called Richard slur at the Slattery who's a heck of an actor you wanna believe you know yep well fine but this is this isn't there you know stunt the stars show you trick me like I asked permission no no so you move when you steal you're 38 right move some begun you better when I Met Your Wife Virgie in the back she said Lou's gonna steal more bases [Applause] [Music] I can take her Ichi I'll be with you in a minute sir tonight for G and D Crawford that's witty Crawford's wife and my son Willie Crawford jr. are best friends Willie Crawford jr. Willie Crawford June that's true they go to the same ICU school together much then makes 6 million a year ago but I'm said for the poor [Applause] waiting to move something out so they can move you in okay anyway if I'm a course and John you played ball in the Midwest yes you and your brother dick in Nebraska sent more corn Harry if I ever tell you what we use for ball okay go so si si lo when you when you lead it off you're 38 now right Lou right say showing your leader off see me like this 38 come on leg [Laughter] [Applause] but I must say on behalf of my son Larry my daughter my family I must say from the bottom of my heart I am a baseball fan Tommy Lasorda's my idol and you're the second guy in the world that I had door and you are a great athlete and God bless [Applause] [Music] rah-rah-rah remember the words in Notre Dame we're losing grandfather fluffy read the song maybe this will be right back Bell is reading the South right six mils [Music] [Applause] eli wallach we're doing it so anyway really I hope the show really lays in there in the context I'm now Dick Ebersol and down Oh me we which we did the special the CNBC now they they say third the second it's so done with this rating jazz after the only one that's the name of the game it's fair but they have young people and young guys that are really coming up and doing a heck of a job and I'm delighted yeah now would you be happy with that because you're used to you know jumping all over and going here and there now the series you know lucky and kind of a welcome you know that we you you've discussed this talk about you doing some films and so forth and when we get out of our own element and we know each other a lot of years on honest but it's it's amazing that I I keep saying like well it's almost an ego trip to say if I can only make it on television like Bob Newhart was making on television and keeps telling me that time time again IIIi really made it done I really and you know that you know Bob I love he's my friend we travel all over the world together we share a cabana at the beach and by the way speaking above at which I am yes I love my wife and bob newhart are both virgos and their birthday is is this coming weekend I won't say what day cuz I don't want the whole world to say hip-hip-hooray right but I'm going for a bundle really and Bob's wife Ginny said and she's pregnant so she kept saying I can't see you and she is going to chip in and we're gonna have a little party and it should be nice Bob would an old friend of ours neutral friend used to be president CBS he's now running around the highway going used to be president CBS in cars run over that's the kiss of death everybody used to be President EBS one time well sure the same thing at NBC when they made Bob Lowe hoenn McCallum yeah they they took a guy that was a drive and made him a president you know and Bob Mulholland was sitting there one day said you're a prison [Music] [Laughter] to shoot get down in mercy hey what's mad with you Louie keep staring yeah hey we got a film clip Freddie keeps going like this I thought he had up of course [Music] [Applause] for jumping it my nice stuff there you got when you make sixty million you're just sitting the chair it's a look at a Jewish kid telling himself well they put this doing they put this over you make you look big thank you John alright bring in another Egyptian we got a chocolate clever film clip of you MC are hosting a show called us against the world or us against the world us against the world produced by Donau Maya and I must say it's an exciting show it's or will be the judge of that okay you have to let the audience say with the six that's right that's true ed McMahon's on your buddy all right okay fine roll film what do you want explain what it's about no who cares you don't care no it's about us against the world is about a group of wonderful stores from the different networks all the big names Susan Katz al Lipchitz and all the great stars usually do be stole your mouth [Laughter] I'd be out of business and have his own florist shop right anyway I hope they see us against the world is that sure Wednesday night Wednesday night fella right then I'm gonna be in a buffalo for a night and I'll be at the State Fair of the Arkansas flea heat fine well I'm bad at plugging things but Wednesday night quartets plugging CFO Harkey no CFO let me write this easy I always make sense right there's a guy from Midwest boys Jewish Committee Bo look at this he's got it all fixed that's right then I shut up what is this thing that to him he you were in the Navy weren't you what's that you were no I was a seal during the war you weren't in the Navy where yes I was in the net what was your rank in the Navy I'm serious I was a seaman first class you were an instant I remember that that's right new guys just sit in a wonderful quarters going look at the way this seaman is breaking his kumquats well I was a seaman look at this the whole audience went what's that kumquats no we're cool [Applause] who didn't say anything I thought was I didn't hear it the film will you Tommy you say Freddie he's not landing planes this is yeah you want to see it again run the film is long watch anything [Applause] [Music] [Music] we are back well what can I say about wrinkles that I haven't said before that's not to offend them before he comes out mr. warm mr. warmth is that dubbed him some years ago I've known for 1718 but about 20 years I guess and he as you well know is the the star he told me in the hall he said I am the star of CPA CPA oh I just gives him something to get Cpl Sharky it's seen here as far as we know on NBC Friday nights at 8:30 yes and on top of that he will be opening at the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on March the 9th yes well I open there this Friday night the day after tomorrow just for two days Friday and Saturday would you welcome don don don rickles [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] how does he shot a bear made an outfit Oh ultrasuede oh good oh I thought it was an arthritis attack noise I always wait for my guests just sit down I'm gonna strap me in Oh can I talk first bob newhart on an aeroplane we're up hi John anyway thanks thanks so much for the CPO Sharkey plug you're just a sweetheart the way you make my career roll right along I know you now how many years do we know each other at least 18 19 shut up started me in the old days in New York Basin Street East right at 4:00 that's right you hung around New York ran to every club in town Buddy Rich is your idol and well we've made a few rounds yeah you buddy rich in all those days ed you weren't there then you you're in Jersey with your wife saying one more taffy and how's Victoria lively why things got a lovely wife eleven eleven years old I found a yesterday in the parking with my Eddie I married a nice conservative Jewish lovely girl lovely boss some move for or whatever she don't like to bring up the age but it start to show neck to start that hang a little bit gets up in the morning with the robot [Applause] you gotta tell it like it is John you're married to Joanna but I don't you know you guys have had problems in life wouldn't mean problems hey you know you guys been about a lot of times you know I took one shot at the big sky you know and scored wife just laid there when it's Halloween anyway but you didn't get married you 137 30 I mean I didn't get married I mean you got my a Mau Mau fighter pilot because I got married what you waited till you were 37 or course I'm gonna go through what you did your honor [Applause] [Music] don't be nervous guys on between two guys it's great but you got to find yourself see you came out of Nebraska you came out of Jersey you were young mixed-up confused I was in heat 24 hours a day I used to go on the highway go help anybody a monkey a dog a rabbit anybody help me I remember you back there yes singers I always went for days I remember the names it was my thinking no let's not bring them make a little trouble you bring up names okay cuz I could bring up a couple of things about you and you'd be in court again I hope you don't bring up any names see Johnny can handle it better than you he acts casual here you folks don't know this man I tell you about the inside of both these guys they sit on here like his brother of this blood brothers blood brothers they love it coach Issa suck risk what brother doesn't show so let's see you later challenge but America think I keep walking around like I'm wrong but America doesn't know these guys when you work together you don't see each other that much although I heard you went out to see Buddy Rich together yes we go out again I get I get me and you know you go out you call me a few times you said don't tell Johnny well Johnny has two groups you and I have the basic people he has the a group he's like Sinatra now he and Joanna sit with Gregory Peck Greg Greg Greg I'll tell Frank about you those Sinatra likes you yeah I don't you know it's a strange thing the huben and Sinatra's company many times you've asked your wife Joanna to say and Franco he stood in the corner with me and Frank doesn't talk like that that's the guy behind him because he always has a lot of Italian guys around I only talk about Sinatra mainly because she's been so very kind to me you don't he did did you get invited to Israel yes by Frank yes it's on the list never figured he was on you invited us so what good is the trip there 500 the only Jew on the trip all these people were invited there in the audience everything was a big deal then Frank invited everybody don't forget it of Nagila no no become a rally and then we'll have every money have you ever [Applause] yes I've been Israel it is it will take your breath away it is make new art and you know Oh Bob is German Irish a good Catholic the best Catholic in the world as you are a good Catholic you trip once in a while but sometimes when the priest want to hit you with the water Ewan yeah better not anyway none of on Easter when you guys eat those cookies don't worry about it the Almighty laughs there's a sense of humor of course I'm a Jew I have nothing to fear well I feel like Broderick Crawford in a bad movie you're the notes once you kidnap look at this the man has fan mail Dear John I'm 11 I'm lonely help me with a letter I was gonna read earlier and I didn't this right February 24 it's you explain married this I have to explain what it's about cause it's and I'd rather the greatest is crossed out here like I'm locked in a cabin find me how was your show be done now Sharky is this the first season hey I can't believe it no the second second season we're rolling and kidding three executives at NBC when it's on twice but I am delighted with the show we got a great cast and I am just proud of the Don thing because the Navy I was in the Navy you were in the Navy you were an ensign that's right and you were all right Louis I am as a seaman first class kissing you under you know what see the first place is what the privation what you don't work there what division what division while the division was painting painting you'll know what I'm talking about division all of a sudden became a chemist were you division was the basis of your Navy career were you even gonna read communications Honorine no no no we didn't have in those days as you know we didn't have radar was no radar ed you up yes it was you were a fighter pilot right how did I get him in the cockpit Oh ed you're fat and get out of my life who are you in the Navy I was just seaman first class in the name I went over the side of the ship I had and I had a Coxon Navy expressions okay and he was a guy that was in charge of the deck crew all heads all hands put that put that down close to me the boom man the one with the hearing problem 40-million boom man we got to get Johnny Ray's uncle [Music] [Applause] [Music] you [Music] and were talking with Donald Rickles yeah we kid around you know well you know what I'm I don't know why I get very I said to Shirley would one of your staff and just been with you for years now and you would we go back to Rockville Centre New York when I used to come on and just perspire for the sake of perspiring you know malaria was forget about it a disease that I had automatically and I realized now that we know each other 14 years at least and you started me on this show and Flip Wilson is the only other guy that he ever said started on the Carson show you know and you hate to get like Thank You Johnny thank you know I've thanked you for many times you oh boy did I thank you but you were always a great guy you always kept saying did you thank me and it always right all dead always backed it up by st. - Janek Johnny my whole life has been thank you and now I tell you guys I don't need to donate it but I got knows you need everybody's business but you have signed a three million dollar deal to appear once we know what do you know with a clause in if you're Moody maybe because that told me that he said what a deal he's got hey I gotta sit on a couch like a [ __ ] and I was a colonel this guy was only an inch boy world war two it's start again it's not salute me and do that old trick again shine in the old Apple you know really what you told me and how you fit up you want to get your own show guy wants to walk out speak up and let him know it here and now it's a joke Johnny let's get up and do our usual thing Johnny did you serve aboard ship what are you were in the service yeah I was on the AGP thirteen we did two knots an hour the Japanese at that time came and went and all of us went to your stations we went the other way no I being ping did Shu did you rise in a rank in assists you want in as a seaman friend of see what are you at the CIA let's go right now you ask you in rebuttal what you did okay I'll tell you first of all I went to Sampson New York where were you stationed all of them Point North Carolina so was manure [Music] what do you think he and I were doing he was an instant gone i wet my pants then I was the seaman first place going I don't like fighting and those other guys went over here and Japanese you are my dear friends really you know bright I never know I saw one prisoner at the time of the war and there are now our dear friends in fact I love them so much my kid has all their toys I didn't dawn leading post one match right but really I tell you I was frightened at that but it was a great experience you have two kids two fine sons three oh is that the trailer camp let me get you that high up for a gonna phone you in the morning anyway uh and I have to and I have one in the Philippines but uh hey the war was on I was lonely arena for a truck what did I know you want candy like a dummy I stopped I think my original question was did you did you arise above seaman first class original question right no I never went beyond seaman first class primarily because I wasn't bright enough I put myself down a little bit because I respecting Newhart and you you College I never went to college it was dry didn't mean to bring I know you didn't bring I'm saying it myself I mean I need help doctor but I always respected education I really did I came up without from middle-class America without having too much of education in other words I was the only guy during the Regents in high school that was caught doing this and the teacher said what are you doing and I said I'm cheating the teacher who was a lot of fun then and little boils on the neck one of those teachers and I was blew it and I went back to I went to Newtown High School and I was the head of the Dramatic Society and there's a lot of fallacy about actors you know that we skip around you know you know this stories when we were kids as an acting Nebraska they didn't have those you never saw a guy you know skip in the woods in Nebraska we did huh I can't picture that Sam where's the tractor I didn't know I thought they were too busy milking all the time but in your a kernel wake up battle stations I know you you were saying once UK guys don't face reality I'm married to a lovely Barbara really I'm gonna go home tonight she'll probably be in heat they're always in heat when you are not ready isn't it the truth I can see in a hi pussycat and I gotta go by the bend oh yeah are you still doing that ridiculous game yeah one night I was a werewolf but that got out of hand [Laughter] okay cheer up go ahead read the commercial thinking of 6 million on you we'll be right back matches so drift you [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause]

Channel: MrBenthie

Views: 1,476,115

Rating: 4.6115766 out of 5

Keywords: comedy, tonight show, carson, don rickles

Id: vloktNAQrUQ

Length: 146min 8sec (8768 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 16 2018