Don Rickles Doesn't Hold Back | Carson Tonight Show

Don Rickles is here tonight he opens at the resorts in Atlantic City tomorrow night Friday January 13th Would you please welcome Mr warmth Don Richard [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] foreign [Music] I slid I slid oh funniest monologue I've ever heard I've heard you many many years tonight was the funniest so enjoy it you were really I was in The Green Room well we got the two of us and and and one waiter and some black gentleman was standing going I'm just here to rob you and uh there was actually a blanket yeah back there just planting I doubt that yeah you'll doubt that sure but what do you know so what's new besides the competition all right all right I'll tell you what I like competition I know you yeah when you're on 26 years I mean where's the challenge gives you a charge yeah what do you need to charge 26 years walk away it's over yeah I mean 26 years I sat with Ed the other night he said how long is he going to keep going like this he's worried about that little tap dancer on Star Search Gloria koala check three four three forty one Gloria opens up at the palace in Encino Friday with a 341 that show is annoying [Applause] you one day that guy Al Mancini is that his name I thought it was an Italian football player he came up and you and your wife is sitting a four or five a 4.6 for a broad that throws up a ton in the air and misses and then gets a job on this show well he's down that out here for 26 years you reach that's why you're here that's why you got it [Applause] in fact I was at the studio gate tonight it really was sit back you got the job it's a little forward like is she gonna leave Johnny there if he leaves you've got problems sign off who's gonna move all those beer Kings anyway uh it's got a beautiful house now in Bel Air all the robbers went earlier what can they take from your place I was there a shot of champagne anyway uh I got a chat I went to I went to the gate and I came in the gate Harry let me in the gate here the gate no no the gate at San Quentin what the hell is the matter with the studio one 26 years you're starting to be like Reagan huh anyway that's why he's that's why he's leaving office he thinks it's helicopters I I don't know Sam anyway you're at the gate I was at the gate and I said uh I'm Don Rickles and and the Mexican people please believe it a lovable Mexican gentleman but you know he wasn't a scientist s despite a gate and I said uh I'm Don Rickles what do you want what do you want I said I'm doing The Tonight Show and uh this is my friend Harry Harry Goins has been with me and he was a black man that made him nervous you said yes and uh and we're in a Rolls Royce an old Rolls-Royce that's an old one you know in fact we had uh Marion Davey's aunt in the back dead anyway way off and Eric Von strondheim was running on the running board going we want to go to the show that's an old that's an old rolls that's an old rules thanks for jumping in at hell I guess anyway I keep my hand in here 26 years you always got to jump in so he was worried about his name on the sign that don't fade sit back sit back I'll tell you I'll tell you so what did one of the what are the old Mexicans the feeling is on an airplane and he found out the left engines out so the guy at the gate said to me you're dying I you're not on the card I said well just phone them again hello mate hello main Midway main Midway that mayor Rico Mr Eagle rickle come in come in and he stood there for 20 minutes and finally I had to get out of the car put on a Mexican hat and break his Booth uh anyway uh and wake his boots hey everything you say is in a gem you've proven that many times you try them on folks you know you don't take your stuff this is a great audition you do good here you get on Stars that's right a 3-2 a three seven a fourth six for Rose Kowalski we'll do this we'll come right back apparently when I introduced you I said you open tomorrow Friday and Resorts you don't you open a week from tomorrow no unless I go by rocket I opened Atlantic City a week on the 20th right okay you don't have to worry about that I didn't want people to line up there for a whole week well they they do they start to line up now you know what's it if what's it cost to come in and see you now is it pretty pretty heavy tab whoa heavy bite I think it's fair it's about 35 dollars up front and in the back it's a buck and thank you oh they have it they range the theater from depending on where you're where you sit and usually the people in the front usually you know those kind of people and you throw food to them and they all go destroy me call me an idiot ICS what's the worst place you ever worked I mean when you were just starting [Applause] that's an Italian expression for how's the family now the worst place you ever worked when you're coming I'd like to say the worst places because everything is wrong when I started out you know there were tough places and when you made 200 a week as you talk about Nebraska you made a hundred dollars a week that was great I didn't think I thought wow to pick on people making 100 bucks a week that's still ready you go into a club day for 25 yeah I did I did a guy called Sam new gold he's gone for many years and he used to take me by the window in New York and he used to go up to Connecticut to these places with about eight strip teases and you and all these girls come out with the pasties in those days and that was wild you know and you always had the guy in the front going you know today they have no tops they lean over and say you want soup and the guy goes I'll take anything anyway uh I'll take a bucket of water whatever you got now but in those days that was you know that was unheard of so when I worked up in in those kind of places I thought I was doing great so I wouldn't say it's the worst place it was tough days you know because I said you know sir you're a and the guy would get up and go could you and a guy would get up and go uh repeat that again please uh who's your it's a little humor sir how about if I hurt your mother anyway uh and my mother was in the audience and they used to take her in the car and I never saw him anyway that was before they knew what you were doing right and you know so everything is relative everybody punched once really yeah no well a guy tried to in Montreal but I always used to hang around and still hang around with people that are very kind you know kind of guys that go I have a little blogs and uh no I got my man Harry Goins it travels with you he's not a kid anymore but he moves fast yeah when there's trouble he tap dances and uh he's one of these black guys I say trouble he goes and they go away but when you started out when you started out with your magic you know I'm sure the whole crowd get up and said you stink well no but no no they didn't they did no I did a good act oh really yeah you gotta go along with it to be honest man no but you know what I'm saying in those days it was tough you know you did what was and it's everything to the young comedians that are coming up today they got the Improv places the comedy stories and our day we didn't have that we just had you and you were you were hot since you were born you know wow foreign contest Nebraska Plumbing plow for a ring contest you know what a plow furrowing content no no I'm a Jew from New York we don't investigate things like that but we bought the plows from you oh I think so anyway that was a good one anyway [Applause] plow a section of land and see how fast you do it well isn't that similar to a big thing in the midwest with the trucks you see on ESPN they pull the trucks no no well with the tractors when they pull it well they have that kind of content no no okay okay it's called hurt the Jew and ask for trouble I understand you're gonna appear on uh take your time take your time you know when you're on 26 years sometimes just sit there and go come on John try to remember who you are try to remember this is a new thing since you're on 26 years in the competition he's suddenly leaning over going John don't look good he don't look good he don't look good looks wonderful and we've got the young kid now right gee he's staring at him don't worry and Jay Leno's in the backswing how's my jaw anyway you'll be on forever I know you you don't want to walk away from that kind of money Dave Tibbett called me and said I give him a TV set every year that's an inside joke and by your response you realize well why do you do stuff like that because I got news he gets one shot and you go home that's it but no but don't worry Ed you're gonna be big this eventually if Johnny retires are you going to retire certainly no you're not no you're not I know what your wife spends you are not right he's got a wife that just sits up in Bel Air she was an airline Hostess had nothing now she goes send in another box come on Ed you're not going to retire you told me you're waiting for him to take a cab so you can sit there and have thought sir and Jay Leno's going to be on the highway going a quarter how about a quarter how long have you been married now and how does your wife Barbara put up with you well I got news yeah we love each other you know you've been married are you married yes all right all right but I like the way I set this up for you I just I'll just feed him and you take the Snapper because I know all your wives you know and now you're very very well I did I did they were all friends of mine and they're friends of yours yours yes so you got in court and said you're going to take what but uh there's a limit but now he's happily married and it's and it's working out absolutely you're not married to 23 years in March God willing to be 24. now why did you applaud that Johnny said why did you applaud 24 years back how many years you married Ed 15 yeah well but I'll tell you and Victoria gets up in the morning goes he's up [Applause] we have to take we have to we have to do this hey we're coming right back [Applause]

Channel: Johnny Carson

Views: 2,259,261

Keywords: episode, best, funny, youtube, funny videos, comedy, laugh, funniest, stand up, comedian, hilarious, stand up comedy, johnny carson, tonight show, humor, sketch, johnny carson bloopers, johnny carson show, johnny carson animals, johnny carson monologue, johnny, carson, tonight, show, funny video, best of johnny carson, funniest moments johnny carson

Id: EVoUFc_oIms

Length: 11min 44sec (704 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 27 2023