Does Islam Oppress Women? #Islam vs #Feminism || The Hot Seat by AMAU

[Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] once again for joining me on the hot seat podcast not your first time of course and i like to remind anybody who's kind of coming across our podcast in the last few months that this is something that we started in 2019 and we've had about 20 to 21 episodes so far you've been on it numerous times so if anybody does want to see those episodes they can refer to our channel and have a look at the playlist section where they should see the hot seat podcast having said that this is probably one of the most requested episodes i think frequently when i go through the comment section a lot of people are asking for the topic of feminism and that's because it's so relevant particularly for muslims in the west in the last couple of decades perhaps there's been a real push to have gender neutrality gender equality and a lot of sincere muslims whether they be brothers or sisters they really have the question on their mind is islam a misogynistic religion does it oppress women how does islam deal with the issue of men and women being equal and that's kind of the questions and the questions that i want to be answering today is nila um as i often do i'm going to give you a 10 minute introduction to lay down some principles and some foundations before we go into the discussion in a little bit more detail it is a very very important topic and it is a topic that a lot of people are asking about and i think it would be beneficial to lay down some principles that will help us to frame our discussion and maybe things we can come back to time and time again so very first principle that i want to share with everyone is that islam is a religion of justice not necessarily a religion of equality in everything i'll give you a couple of examples of that allah said in allah allah commands justice and doing good to others and giving to your relatives so allah azza commanded justice but nowhere in the quran did allah command equality okay rather allah subhanahu ta'ala in several places in the quran criticizes people who make things equal that are not equal for example elijah said [Music] did we make or shall we make muslims like criminals what is the matter with you how you judge and many ayat allah talked about how the heat is not equal to the shade and how the one who can see is not equal to the one who is blind and so on so islam is not a religion that commands equality necessarily but it's a religion that commands justice okay the second principle that i would like to lay down is the basic concept in islam that men and women are different and that there isn't a virtue in men and women being the same and for that of course we can quote the ayah in which elijah tells us about the wife of imran the mother of maryam alaiha [Music] oh my lord i've given birth to a girl and allah knew better who she had given birth to and the male is not like the female it's interesting and i think probably not so much to cover too much now but just to touch upon the idea of maryam how her mother envisaged she would have a boy and envisaged all the things that boy would do and yet allah subhanahu ta'ala gave her better than what she envisaged by giving her by giving her a girl and i think that's a beautiful you know something to come back to just to remember that story of maryam but to take from it the principle that men and women are fundamentally different okay i think it's really important to highlight that neither men nor women have a choice when it comes to the sharia of islam and that is something in which men and women are equal allah azzawajal clearly said either allah it's not for a believing man nor is it for a believing woman if allah and his messenger decree something that they should have any choice in the matter now here look at how allah azzawajal said the believing man the believing woman it's not for the believing man it's not for the believing woman neither a man nor a woman has a right to have a choice after the sharia was revealed on a particular matter after it's clear what allah revealed on something and what the prophet saw allah matter muslim men and muslim women are equal in not having a choice and in being required to submit okay the fourth principle that i would like to talk about is that islam isn't a woman submitting to a man it's about men and women submitting to allah [Music] we have created you male and female and we have made you into nations and tribes so that you may know one another the one who is the most noble in the sight of allah is the one who is has the most taqwa and allah is all-knowing and all aware and there is a beautiful story from the story of hajjar when ibrahim alaihissalam he left hajjar in makkah without anything in a barren valley and she said to him something which i believe could be a principle for us as we move forward she said she said was it allah that commanded you to leave me here. he said yes she said then he's not going to cause us to be lost and allah said in i will not cause any deeds to be lost male or female whether you're a man or a woman i will not cause any of your deeds to be lost you are from each other you know you are uh the the you are what from one another and i will not cause your deeds to be lost whether you are male or female i think it's really important that we don't seek to gain something that someone else has been given by allah nor do we waste our time coveting something that allah subhanahu ta'ala has given to someone else right elizabeth said well at a time [Music] do not seek what allah has preferred some of you with over others men will have a share of what they have earned and women will have a share of what they have earned and ask allah from his bounty allah is always knowing of everything it's also important to establish the sharia is not here to talk about every individual case there is a beautiful principle from the quraid which are the quran which says that that the attention is given or consideration is given to what is the majority and what is commonplace not what is rare and the odd exception to the rule okay the basic principle in rulings is that rulings apply to men and women together because the prophet salallahu wasallam said he said that women are the full sisters of men meaning that if the quran brings a ruling that ruling is for men and women unless you have a clear reason for it to be for men okay or for women only we also want to clarify that an individual woman can be way better than an individual man that's very important because a lot of times people are have this idea that when we're talking about men and women that we're talking about all men and all women but in reality there is there are evidences which are undeniable that there will be many women who are above many men in gender just to give the example of maryam of asia the wife of iran of fatima of aisha of the wives of the prophet sallallahu alaihi was [Music] there is no doubt that there will be many many women who have precedence in the sight of allah over many many men we're talking about rulings here not talking about individual women and individuals individual men and i think that ultimately we can conclude by saying that islam is a religion of wisdom and that allah doesn't oppress anyone your law does not oppress anybody at all i think with that we can we can make a good start inshaallah on on the topic okay inshallah that's the i think that's the first time you've actually gone within time you've still got an hour and fifty sorry one minute and 50 seconds left so let me stop the timer there insha'allah okay i think that's really important and i think you laid down some really good principles that i'm sure we're going to refer back to as we continue the discussion just to summarize some of them i won't catch all of them but just some of them um you mentioned that islam is not a religion that necessarily dictates equality rather it commands justice and there is a difference between the two just explain for the viewers what you mean by that kind of difference between justice and equality so equality is where two things are made to be the same they're made to be equal and justice is what the scholars define the word justice as is what a shay female there putting something in its proper place so to put something in its proper place maybe to put something lower than something else or to give something more than something else but that would be done in a way that is just not in a way that necessarily means that one for one and one for the other yeah yeah i think the example that i often come across is in the dunya for example which nobody would deny is the food that an adult eats is not the same food that a child eats and it would be equal to give them the same food but it would also be very dangerous and very harmful so i think i don't think that's really a concept that anybody can really dispute particularly when we apply it in matters like that the second thing that you mentioned was that or one of the things that you mentioned was that both men and women when it comes to the rulings in islam they have been it's their obligation to submit to them if it comes from allah and his messenger whether you're a man whether you're a woman you have no choice but to submit to it and of course that's from the the root word of islam as well submission and the final thing you mentioned is that it's not right for any gender to want what the other gender has been given by of course allah and his messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam and of course that doesn't apply just for genders it applies throughout the dunya throughout the you know throughout the world people are given more wealth than others and it's just you know it's not it's not going to be very time efficient to really just wish that you had this kind of wealth that you you know you've been given something lesson exactly make use of what you have been there what you have been given rather than wishing to be somebody else okay let's go into some of the more specific questions and i know you mentioned and this is something that you have an opportunity to expand on the issue of inequality because a lot of women really do feel that men have been given this superior status above and over them in the religion of islam and this is something that they admit this is from allah and his messenger sallallahu alaihi wasallam but they do question why and it does often it makes them feel like life is difficult for them and of course there's there's a couple of ayats in the quran and another one both of these ayats indicate that men are superior to women that they've been given a degree of authority over women how would you explain that for someone who might be struggling to understand that what it really means is it means an authority or a responsibility a responsibility to to be in charge something like that overwhelming by what allah has given some of them over others and what they spend out of their wealth the first thing i think is really important is when we talk about kawama we talk about the issue of authority we talk about the man being the head of the household it is really really important to understand that authority in of itself can be as much of a trial as it is something good okay and for example the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam he said every one of you is a shepherd and every one of you will be asked about the flock so he mentioned in this the man and the woman he mentioned that the man is responsible for his family and he will be asked about it by allah what did you do with that family the second thing is that the woman is also responsible it's not that the woman has been given no kawama or no responsibility or authority at all actually she has been given it over the children she has been given it and that's a really important point to bear in mind this idea that male and female children both have a right of obedience towards their towards their mother but that's a responsibility in the sight of allah azzawajal it's really important also to remember that when we talk about obedience obedience is not absolute to any human being except for obey the messenger absolutely and those in authority over you he didn't repeat the word obey meaning that obedience to them is subject to it being obedience to allah and his messenger so what that gives the the woman is it gives her the right that her husband is not permitted to ask her to do something which is haram okay he's not allowed and if he asks her she has no obligation in fact it would not be permissible for her to obey him at all so she is only obeying him in that which is obedience to allah and to the prophet sallallahu alaihi it's also important to note that the ruler is not necessarily better than the one who is ruled over in general so for example if we take let's say the imam of the muslims who is in charge of the muslims he's in charge over everyone male and female right we have to obey him because allah told us to be the one in charge generally whether he's in charge of the family in charge of the region in charge of the country in charge of all of the muslims does that mean that him being in charge necessarily makes him better than the people he's in charge over better is in more pious like better in the sight of the better at all there's not a single evidence to say that the ruler is better in the sight of allah than the one who was ruled over so that husband who has been given that kawama may not be better in the sight of allah than that woman and the clearest of evidences for this is asia the wife of iran firaoun who is from the worst of the worst and among the leaders that will take the people into jahannam and his wife one of the people the prophet saws said that she completed her ima her iman was complete she completed her faith just because faraon had authority of the head of the household of the husband over her it doesn't mean that he was better than her in fact we know for a fact he wasn't so this idea of craving over uh authority and the authority is better i believe it's not an islamic idea and the prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam he said to abu dharr actually he said to him in a hadith narrated by muslim he said i see you to be weak and i love for you what i love for myself so don't make yourself in charge of two people and he said i love you abu dharr i love for you i want for yourself but i can see it's not good for you it's not good for you to have that responsibility so i don't want you to take responsibility over even two people the hadith narrated by muslim apply that now that allah azzawajal has chosen the man of the household to be responsible for the woman and he's given him given that man a degree of authority over her within what is permissible in islam and within what is pleasing to allah azzawajal allah azza knows us doesn't the one who created no he knows us he knows what's good for us he knows what's going to bring good for us or not the prophet says he came to abu dhabi who's a man and he said to him i love you for i love for you i love for myself don't be in charge of two people so shouldn't we not take as a woman muslim woman should she not then accept that allah azzawajal has chosen that for her that he knows her and he and the prophet saws you know loved for the muslims what he loved for himself so don't you know don't take that responsibility again remember what we said in the beginning in terms of principles that the sharia looks it looks at that which is commonplace and normal it doesn't look at the fact that there might be situations in which there is a woman who would be far better to be responsible for her husband it looks at the majority of situations add to that even that is it a requirement that the man should use that authority at all times in reality not really the man is more than welcome to consult with his wife ask his wife take her opinion prefer her opinion give her responsibility for something within the family at the end of the day it's about organizing the society is not necessarily about him having complete control and even in this let's give an example that this authority doesn't extend to everything let's look at the spending of the woman [Music] the majority of the scholars of islam they held it the man has no right to dictate to his wife what she does with her money okay so it's not again even an absolute authority in in everything there are exceptions to it so i think when we look at all of these things together we see it isn't it isn't easy i mean it's not easy for for a woman to necessarily you know fit into that and say to herself that she's going to be you know respect the husband's authority and respect him as the head of the household but allah is organized our society its obedience to allah not obedience to a man and that's ultimately what the argument is isn't it it's about women being subservient to men but here it's about obedience to allah subhana not about a man to a woman and it's about organizing the society there are many exceptions in many cases like we mentioned for example the male child towards his mother that's an example of a man a being a woman and the obedience there is of a very high degree the prophet saws in three times your mother your mother your mother many of the scholars they took this to mean obedience that a woman has a mother has three times the right of obedience over over the father so i think this is talked about it's fairness it's justice it works in the society rather than it being necessarily the same yeah i think this issue of authority is going to be something that we're going to come back to i really want to go into the the example of husband and wife more specifically later on in the podcast but there's no doubt it's an underlying principle that a lot of people have an issue with what if someone said to you that the way that allah has designed this it might not be intended to oppress women but there's no doubt that many men can and they do take advantage of this authority and therefore it results in oppressing women why couldn't it just be equal partners you both marry together living together raising children together why couldn't it just be an equal partnership so there's no doubt that there are many cases in which people oppress other people not just men or husbands oppressing their women but there are many cases in which people generally oppress other people because of their authority and their their power i think there are a couple of things to bear in mind number one this oppression typically happens when people distance themselves from islam the more the husband is in line with islam and what islam commands him to do the more likely it is that he's going to treat his wife in the best possible way isn't this this particular example exactly in line with islam because islam is actually saying men you have a right over women whereas if islam said you both have equal parties we wouldn't really have here we're not talking about we're talking about you specifically mention oppression your lord doesn't oppress anyone so there's no we i'm talking about a man oppressing his wife he cannot be in line with islam if he's oppressing his wife because there is no oppression in islam okay he has to be he has to have gone outside of islam and that's why it was said in the in the early days that you know when it comes to marrying your daughter to somebody that you should look for a person of religion because however he feels about that woman he's going to treat her well the prophet saws and said is treat your women to the highest standard so that is what you would you would see from a man who is practicing islam properly that's my first point my second point on this topic is that even the society as a whole there are checks and balances or there should be checks and balances within that society so many many times you see and there are examples i'm sure we're going to come to in terms of husband and wife relationships and things like that where the female companions went to the prophet sallallahu alaihi complained that men are doing this tell the men to do this i've come because my husband is like this simple example allah has certainly heard the statement of the woman who came to complain about her husband that's part of the checks and balances that goes to the the person who is in the position of rulership or the car the the one who is the judge and says my husband is not treating me properly and that's supposed to be dealt with that's another point and the third thing is that many times oppression takes place in this world across the board in many different ways and a person is rewarded for it in the hereafter because ultimately this is an issue of qatar right that there are issues of oppression happened all over the world people are being oppressed in many different regards and ultimately allah azzawajal might raise a person because of some oppression that they suffer or some hardship that they go through it's not because allah loves that but because allah subhanahu ta'ala wants to raise that person through it having said that it's our job as muslims to stand against all kinds of oppression i like the statement of the prophet sallallahu alaihi help your brother whether he's an oppressor or oppressed he said if he's oppressed we we know how to help him but how shall we help him if he is a violin if he's an oppressor the prophet said i'm told to stop him stop him from his oppression stop that person from doing that oppression so it's our job to actually correct the situation and there are many times in islam where if the rules of islam are not followed then no doubt it leads to oppression and it leads to people having their rights taken away and that's not the fault of the religion of islam but that's the fault of the way people practice it okay one thing that obviously you mentioned in your introduction as a golden principle is that when it comes to attaining rewarding hereafter men and women are equal in that and they both have an equal chance of attaining the hereafter which of course is the main goal at least it should be the main goal for muslims having said that there is hadith that i'd like to ask you about and quiz you on because how can you claim that if we have a clear hadith where the prophet salallahu said as i have seen that the majority of the dwellers of hellfire are you women doesn't this clearly prove that actually there's not even an equal chance in that because that most women are actually going to end up in the hellfire this is a very important hadith you mentioned very important hadith the hadith as you mentioned the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam is all women give charity and make a lot of istighfar seek a lot of forgiveness for i have seen that women are the majority of the people of the fire i think the first question we have to ask here the hadith so long had you could come back to it but there are there are the first thing we have to ask is is the reason that she is in the fire because she's a woman that's not the case in fact the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam mentioned specifically the reasons why that person is taken to the fire for example if i were to say to you that the majority of the people of the fire are i don't know fro are from a particular country for example the fact that they're from that that's not that's a factual matter as to the composition of the people of the fire but it doesn't mean that that was the reason it being a woman is not the reason she's from the people of the fire otherwise that would apply to all women right she's a woman she goes through the fight as i say the majority of the people of fire are people who had two arms in the it doesn't it doesn't mean that just because their two arms they end up in the fire it's just it's just it's just a characteristic that they have it's just description there's a reason for it the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam also he didn't specify that this relates to the muslims either he didn't specify particularly but he mentioned certain things so he mentioned techfur you reject the good that your husband has done now we actually have a hadith in which the prophet says explains this in detail he he said perhaps one of you would spend a long time unmarried with her parents [Music] and then he said and she would become really you know like a a woman who struggled to get my she can't get married then allah gives her a husband allah blesses her with her husband and allah gives her wealth from that husband the husband spends on her wallet and a child or children she just becomes angry one day i never saw any good from him ever so he said this could be a reason why a woman becomes from the people of the fire that she got all of these blessings from allah and allah gave her a husband after a long time she couldn't get married allah gave her a husband allah gave her money allah gave her children and then she gets angry one day and she says i never saw anything good from you that's not just disrespectful to the husband who did that good for her but it's disrespectful to allah azzawajal who gave her those things i've never seen anything good now here what's the job of the prophet saws prophet saws was sent back to bring glad tidings and to warn people he warned the men about certain things for example he said uh he said in a hadith these two people are being punished and they're not being punished for something which people think is major and he mentioned one of them didn't keep themselves clean when they went to the toilet and the other one used to spread gossip among the people many times the prophet said warned this these people will be in the fire this person will be in the fire he's warning them and he's given them a solution give sadaqa make istighfar so that you're not among these people i've seen all of these women in the fire and they're in the fire for certain reasons one of the things they're in the fire for the prophet saws mentioned in the hadith that you curse a lot that the person you know they get angry and they just they curse they say you they bring the curse of allah curse of allah upon their children or the curse of allah upon their husband or the curse of allah upon people and then it comes back upon them so the prophet said i've seen this is going to happen so i don't want you women to be one of those people okay i don't want you to be like that i want you to be different so i'm going to tell you the solution first of all i'm going to tell you why is so that you can try to check that from yourself and if it does happen i'm going to tell you how to get out of it with sadaka and with right with istighfar and in reality there are hadith as we mentioned many a hadith in which the prophet saws mentioned reasons why men are from the people of the fire we mention as an example the hadith of the two people being punished in the graves for example do we think that most women will go to the hell fire for example because of riba generally speaking you would say that riba even though there are women who get involved in riba but it tends to be many times it tends to be uh men that are that probably do that more and there are certain things that perhaps women do more so for example the prophet saws mentioned that whoever guarantees for me what is between his two jaws and what's between his two legs i guarantee for him janna that's something that is characteristic or or it's typical of men right [Music] and to explain to people what is uh what the danger is to them and he's saying you women you there's a danger for you the danger is cursing too much the danger is that you do you disregard or you are ungrateful to the blessings you've been given and when you're ungrateful to the blessings you've been given ultimately that's ingratitude to allah because he's the one who gave you those blessings so that's how i see that particular hadith and that's how i think it should be understood okay i think um you're halfway out with a hadith we've still got another half to go so i think you're right i'm looking at the narration here and it just says you curse frequently and are your husbands so that's really the reason it's not not for the fact that they're a woman or they are women themselves it's because of these characteristics because of these things that they might do however it goes on to say i have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence and religion than you now this is more of a blanket statement uh really that the prophet salallahu is making to the women and he said i have not seen anyone more deficient in intelligence imagine if somebody made that statement in the 21st century that it would be pc would be all over the place and the religion as well so and this goes back to the question about how are they equal in their religion how can someone understand this that the women are deficient in intellect and religion so this is no doubt a part of the hadith the prophet saws he said so let's quote it properly he said i have not seen those who are more deficient in intellect and religion who overcome a person who overcome a man of uh what's the word they overcome a man who who doesn't have that the man who doesn't have that issue they overcome him completely then you so the first thing is the prophet seems said this to a group of women yeah and those women they asked you know the sahabi allah may allah be they didn't leave something without asking about it they asked the prophet saws or messenger of allah what is this deficiency in intellect and religion is it absolute is it in everything is it just that women are not clever all the women just don't have any religion they're irreligious what is it tell us because as habiat they were not worried about feminism and that wasn't their concern yeah they were worried about what can i do what what do i have to do now the prophet said and he said in context let's give him the context he said that how how amazing it is that you see a woman who has two deficiencies overcome completely overcome a man who has none of them and you know what the stories of this you know for example the poet who said moral to be diarrhed he said i went around the house the house of laila kissing the walls any kissing wall after wall is not the house that has overcome my heart that my heart has just given into but it's the love of the one who is living in the house and this is a man who has all of the qualities of of men and there is a woman in there who is nakrisa in her intellect and her religion and this man is going around kissing the walls because of how much he's lost his mind you know they called him leila the the one who became crazy because of layla so this is the context in which the prophet said but the sahabia they didn't leave it they didn't just take the context and say okay leave it you know that's it it's in context they said tell us what what is it where is there anokhsan remember noksan means something which is not whole okay yes something which is less than complete so he mentioned the prophet saws and he mentioned two very specific things he said amman al-aqsa he said as for the deficiency in intellect the witness of two women is equal to the witness of one man he didn't say you women are not clever you women can't do anything you women don't know anything you he just said that there is a ruling in islam in which two women give a testimony in court in place of one man okay that is less mathematically honey that is that's less that's an that's something which is less and he said regarding he said he said he said she spends a number of nights a number of days in arabic whether you say nights and days are equal in this year when you say one or the other it means the same thing she spends days without praying and she breaks her fast in ramadan and this is deficiency in her religion so let's just take a man a man prays five times a day 30 days in the month a woman prays five times a day 23 days in the month it's a factual less than that that's not blame worthy for her and actually if you look at these two things you see that neither of those two things are in the hands of a woman at all there is nothing a woman can do to make her shahadah equal to the shahada of a man in islam that's the ruling of al-alimul hakim the one who knows everything and the most wise that allah azzawajal has said that she can't do it's not her fault it's not something she's blamed for and islam didn't even tell her to pray if she prayed she would be blameworthy so this is simply a factual statement yeah and the prophet says i'm saying in context of look at this you have a woman she only prays 23 days in the month this man prays 30 days in the month and this man is walking around kissing the walls of the house look at the look at the difference look at how amazing this is how allah azzawajal has created the male and the female that even though this woman if you looked at it factually one for one you see that she's not doing the same things in her religion the man is doing and that her testimony is not the same as the man but he's still overcome by she completely he's completely overcome by her yeah i don't think abu would really have an issue with the the second thing you mentioned the fact that her dean is deficient because of she's not praying certain times that's like a rockstar that's given to her no problem however why is her testimony not equal to that of a man like can we not believe a woman's statement when she comes to court okay the first thing we need to understand is that allah clearly told us and the prophet saws clearly told us and there's something well known in islam that the testimony in most cases in a court the testimony of one man is if you replace it with the testimony of a woman it requires two women now the first thing to understand is that that's not an absolute rule okay for example the the scholars mentioned that when a woman is asked about personal matters such as her marriage such as um how her for example her edda how long she has since she's been divorced uh how many menstrual periods she's had since she's been divorced uh when she gave birth thing things like this that there is no requirement for two witnesses in this this a woman is asked this is her area she knows herself better and her testimony is uh is equal in that it's also important to note that in things that are more important than testimony in court allah azzawajal accepted the statement of one woman for example in narrating a hadith our mother eyeshadow you have to bring another woman who who heard this hadith with you we accept it from her so this is a halacha it's a unique situation that allah azzawajal decreed for a wisdom that is with him subhanahu ta'ala and it's our job ultimately to submit to it can we understand take out some of the wisdoms behind it yeah i believe you can take out some of the wisdoms behind it i think that this kind of situation about testimony i think if we were going to put it in a in a way that in a modern way some people talk about the issue of uh emotion and emotional intelligence you know this issue of a woman seeing things from a very uh emotional way and that could potentially uh damage a person's testimony you know at the end of the day if you see things like that i think that again the sharia deals with the majority sharia doesn't deal with everybody in every country in every situation it looks at the whole picture and says that this is what allah azzawajal has decreed is best for you that the testimony of one man for two women as we said it's not there's not a kelduf in that there's no hardship in that for a woman because if there's hardship in that for a woman then it's for example in her personal matter she comes in my husband mistreated me i'm sorry if you don't have another woman to to tell me i'm not going to believe you that's not the case her personal situation is different and we don't apply in what is more important which is the narration of the hadith but we apply exactly what allah is that were revealed and what allah commanded us and that's what allah commanded us and from the wisdom of that you can see the court's an intimidating place you've seen how you know these days we have the people questioning the past and so on maybe that's part of the reason maybe it isn't because ultimately the ultimate reason why we do it is because allah azzawajal commanded us to do that okay let's go into the issue of marriage and i think this is where a lot of the questions come this is probably going to be quite a large segment and the first question i think the the predominant question a lot of people ask why are men allowed four wives but women can't have four husbands yeah there's no doubt that a man is allowed uh four wives elizabeth said thank you so just said marry whomever you will from among the women two or three or four and obviously if a person is not able to be fed one so allah azzawajal gave permission for a man to marry more than one wife you have to also remember to put this into context that prior to the coming of the religion of islam the culture among the arabs was unrestricted marriage on the side of the man a man could have 10 wives 20 wives 30 wives and islam consider that to be unjust okay so allah azzawajal limited it to forth that that is the most that a man can fairly and he can can be fair to can be just two so it's an issue not equality because taiwan a woman can't have four husbands but it's a matter of fairness a man can be fair to four women but he can in terms of sharing equal time equal wealth and so on but more than that he cannot be fair so allah azza didn't give that to him bear in mind also that allah also didn't a didn't obligate or make an obligation upon him to take four wives most of the scholars or many of the scholars hold that this is something that is permissible but it's not recommended and some of them hold that it is recommended for a man to have more than one wife and some said that it's not recommended but it's simply something which is allowed so ultimately here it's not the case that a man is required it depends on him is he able to manage that or not to be honest i would say in our time it's very rare that you find a brother that can actually handle and be fair and just and can actually properly marry more than one woman very rare it's not impossible but just you don't see it very often and it's not that common in our time either and islam doesn't you know force it upon anybody at the end of the day but there is a difference between the male and the female in this let's just talk about one issue just as a simple example let's talk about protection of lineage okay and you have a woman who has four husbands ultimately that islam one of the overriding things that islam came to protect and preserve is someone's honor and and neseb people's you know people's lineage and their honor and so on so within that uh it's not uh it wouldn't be practical and it wouldn't be uh acceptable really to anyone for a woman to have more than one husband it would be in terms of the issue of the the issue of honor and you know that for example the prophet saws i'm told is about the punishment of the man who is not he doesn't have real over his wife he doesn't have he doesn't uh he doesn't have feel protective over her so how about you know this man you know when you're here now to be honest when you hear news stories of you know this these couples in open relationships there's no is that in it there's no honor in it and when you see the man who has two wives and looks after them properly and gives them equal time that's how allah created the man able to do that and the woman generally from a fitra perspective wouldn't want it usually and the reason for that is even if you look at society in general across the board what you see is you see that in cultures and non-islamic cultures where people marry more than one i can't think of any examples where a woman takes more than one husband but you can think of many examples around the world where people take more than one wife and that's not an evidence but that's just the point that it's from the future like it's it's a natural feeling and a natural thing for a man to take more than one wife if certain things are present with a limit of four not to go over that and it's natural for a woman that she would only want to have one husband that's what's that's what allah azza brought and it's natural and the potential of lineage i thought you were going to say that if yeah protection of lineage if a woman has more than one husband it doesn't protect the lineage if she gets pregnant then and we're not let you know it's not someone saying we have dna tests right now like really are we now gonna like every child hospital has to have the dna test attached to them at the end of the day like we said the sharia deals with every place every country every situation it doesn't deal with you know what's happening in in england in 2020 or 2021 and it deals the whole world the whole time from beginning to end so ultimately for protection of religion ultimately it's just not natural it's just not that's why when you hear about people you know even now someone comes and says oh yeah you know i'm in an open relationship you know me and my wife both have multiple partners you're kind of like a person yeah they they can't it's not like it's horrible anything else wrong with this person would you know for the same way if a man came to you so i've got a wife and a mistress a wife and a mistress yeah i would agree with you totally i would say that's terrible because that's what he says that's just the way i was created i would say tim what you what you don't understand is that you need to actually take that mistress as a wife not as a mistress because you're not giving her any rights you could leave her tomorrow and you could leave her with nothing just on the street you don't give her any rights you don't look after her you don't take care of her she doesn't have a right to your time i see even if the scholars of islam even debated mission where a man willingly a woman willingly marries a man on the condition that the man won't give her her rights oh and he says like i'm not going to give you anywhere to live and she agrees to it and she happily agrees to i'm fine with that i will live with my parents i'm more than i just want to get married even though am i different over this how about somebody who took a mistress and it's not that's not that's not the from the rights of a woman any and even then if a woman was to write in her marriage contract and to and to say that for example i don't give my permission for my husband to take more than one wife it's a matter of the scholars differed over okay so it's not a case of oppressing women and actually i can honestly say to you there are situations i personally know today right now where there are women who actively look to be a cool wife for example there's a woman she's a bit older maybe she has her own life it's not that she can't get married she can get married to someone who doesn't have another wife but she has her own life she says look i don't want the hassle of this you know i can't manage this thing of having my husband with me all the time there are countries where there are way more women than men you know at the end of the day islam it's wrong for a person just to put these like blinders on and they only see what's in front of them in their country okay if you don't see it to be suitable in your country right now but you believe it's from allah but you don't believe it's suitable for you allah didn't require you to do it allah didn't ask you to do it if you don't believe it doesn't work for you but then don't say it doesn't work for everybody in the world because there are many many countries where it works very very well and it's needed and there are countries where there are a huge number of of of women outnumbering uh men there are there are women who and i'm talking about in societies where they're you know there are plenty of opportunities for marriage to say look to be honest for me you know i don't really want to have that full time looking after a husband all the time like that i just i would be just happy you know if i see him from time to time that's that's better for me there are people like that so we shouldn't because it doesn't work for you doesn't mean that it doesn't work for everybody okay okay let's move on to something that is obligatory uh for all women according to the majority of the scholars why is it that a woman has to seek permission from her male guardian before she is to get married isn't that really just giving authority to the men to do kind of whatever they want with their women no i actually think that the system of having a chaperone or a guardian in relation to marriage is there to protect the woman not to oppress her and that's because typically if you look at societies that didn't have this before there was no protection for the woman and she might fall for a guy or just like a guy or guy you know give her you know gives her some attention and she doesn't look if he's good or not for her or when it comes to negotiating or discussing about things like the mahar about you know how much money she's going to receive when she gets married or what he's going to give her or where they're going to live she doesn't have anybody to stick up for her she's going to sit there and negotiate with the guy's family like that the the job of the welly is to look after the girl that is in his care it's not to oppress her and that's why we have a system to handle when the welly oppresses a woman and that's what we call where a welly prevents his daughter or the woman under his care from getting married and she's got a good proposal and he says i don't i i'm not gonna i'm not gonna help you i'm not gonna get you married to this person and in that case she has the right to go and complain and until today this is very common and you know if you go to the the courts or you go to the masajid in the countries where there aren't courts it's full of people coming and saying you know this is what's happening and the imam simply says okay or the judge simply says okay bring the father to me what's your reasoning behind refusing this proposal he said i'm refusing this proposal because you know i don't want to marry a religious guy or i don't think it's good for her to marry a religious guy straight away he takes that right away from the parent give it to somebody else so he takes care of it himself the whole purpose of this is to protect the to protect the woman that's why the prophet says i'll come across he said i'm gonna burden you men with two things you know the religion is not a religion of haraj right two people in society you have to take care of them the orphan and the woman you have to take care of her so the job of the wali is to find a good person for her to make sure that her decision that she's made on who she wants to marry is be made with her eyes open and also to make sure that the marriage itself she's getting her rights and she has someone to stick up for her rights and negotiate for things on her behalf and make sure that she's getting all of her rights and to be honest i think if you just look at societies where they don't have that and people just get into relationships and go out to be honest you can see the harms that has upon people it's so easy people you know take people in uh they they take advantage of people not they sweet talk them they you know give them a bit of attention and then suddenly you realize this person hold on a second you know this person is already in another relationship with somebody or this person is uh doing something they shouldn't be doing or they're not willing to give you a right so they're not good for you i have to have some something there that makes that guy scared you know that future husband makes him actually fear allah and sometimes people fear allah because of their taqwa and sometimes fear they fear allah because of the you know the sultan they need the authority that is over them so that's important to have somebody there to give that protection and that uh cover for her it's not there to oppress her and that's why she has the right to complain if it's not done properly whatever sister says i mean i'm i don't need looking after i'm you know i've been living the 21st century i'm quite capable of marrying myself to someone else why has islam obligated someone to look after me all the time again i would say that islam is a religion of submission and our job is to submit to allah subhanahu ta'alah and if that's what allah is legislated there are many times we think we know something is good for us and it's not good for us perhaps you hate something it's good for you perhaps you love something it's bad for you allah knows and you people don't know many times we think we know what's good for us and yes there is a movement in this society that's telling women that you don't need this you don't need this but to be honest when you just open your eyes and look around you are other people you actually see how much it's needed you actually realize that to be honest yeah it is needed and yes it's also needed for the men to take that job seriously because there are situations where the well he doesn't take the job seriously the wellies just you know either doesn't care a lot of times in case of of muslim reverts revert sisters the weli doesn't care just bring anybody just you know as i'll say i'll do the sign the necessary form or whatever but actually those marriages you know subhanallah there's there are difficulties in that for many people not for everyone but for a lot of people there are difficulties and again we also say and remind people that it's not about individual people there are individual women who be perfectly capable of and fine if they did this by themselves but it's not about individuals it's about what's right for the whole muslim community and it's about showing your submission to allah in islam this is what allah has decided for me i believe that there is a wisdom whether i can see that wisdom or whether i can't see that wisdom for me i look at it and to me it seems very clear but maybe that's through marriage counseling and dealing with divorces and things like that that it seems to me to be very very clear but if it's not clear to you you only have to establish and both sides have to come with their part obviously it's for the woman to submit but also that for the men it goes back to their kawama not being something praiseworthy or something good it's actually a huge responsibility that they're going to be questioned about on the day of judgment it's a huge responsibility you took from you as a heavy oath it's a heavy it's a weighty responsibility your marriage to a woman is a very very heavy responsibility and serious thing in the sight of allah and the one who doesn't treat that woman well they will have to answer to allah okay the next question i have is again it seems like a bit of uh inequality here where men can marry jewish or christian women but it can't happen the other way around women can't marry jewish or christian men why is that so allah azza told us that you are permitted to marry the uh chaste women who were given the book before you in reality the fact that you're permitted to marry them doesn't mean necessarily that it is uh a it is a good thing to marry them but it's an option now obviously it's an option that's available and i say that because i don't want also for for men watching this to think that this is necessarily uh the best thing for them to do or this necessarily a good thing for them to do or even consider this to be an option because the society that we're living in today has a lot of pr it brings about a lot of difficulties when people uh get into these kind of relationships or it can do so the first thing is it's very simple we've already established the issue of kawama of the man's as the head of the household if that's the case then how could we have a jewish or a christian man as a head of a household over a muslim woman true and allah has not placed for the disbeliever over the believer any authority allah israel has never given a situation where a disbeliever can have authority over a believer and that would be something that that's a blessing in islam and he otherwise does you know the one doesn't want to become you know as he or the wife of the end of the day she doesn't want to end up having a husband who is a disbeliever who is an evil doer and so on not at the end of the day this is why we have these rules because the man as the head of the household at the end of the day this jewish or christian woman is relatively close to islam you we know that both judaism and christianity are share some you know certain amount of commonality within the religion of islam even though there are many severe differences but they are closer than other religions and so it is possible for a muslim man as the head of the household to have a jewish or christian wife and to still manage the household in an islamic way and that's the reason why i actually discourage it in our time because i believe that the right of the man to be the head of the household has been broadly taken away from him in in legal terms in most countries particularly in western countries and so he isn't able to enforce his authority upon his jewish or christian wife and so she can turn around and say well i want my kids to be brought up as christians or i want my kids to be brought up as jews or i want my kids to go to church and you're not going to do anything about it and he doesn't have any uh any recourse to to to change that or in some cases the court systems will even support that so that's why things are a little bit different today and they need to be you know that needs to be thought of very carefully but it does work for some people like a revert a man who is married to a a jewish or christian woman when they revert it could be good for them to stay married to them how that was that last bit that you said that obviously you wouldn't recommend it you'd actually discourage it for today how do you reconcile that with your earlier statement that islam is for all times and all places and now allah knew that this time and place would happen and yet it's a time and place where this particular ruling is perhaps discouraged yeah i would say it doesn't change the ruling so we don't say that it's haram and we don't say that it is something which is it would be invalid but we simply say that it seems that looking at the framework of islam and the principles of islam that there are some dangers in this and it should be given thought before entering into it and this is something which is built in that is the flexibility which is built into the rulings of islam you don't have the flexibility to stop praying five times a day because it doesn't suit you today you know but you do have a flexibility as to whether you marry a jewish or christian woman because allah didn't make it an obligation upon you he made it permissible so that means it's something things are permissible generally things are obligatory which you need all the time [Music] except in cases of extreme necessity and things are recommended because they're generally good for you but if you miss them out from time to time they don't hurt you and things are permissible because the things you might want to do and might not want to do so this is something permissible which people might want to do or might not want to do and i would suggest that someone would have to think about it carefully in a time where or in a country where the court system is not going to allow that man to uh to act as the head of the household and that woman does have the legal right to bring her children up as jews or christians for example a person should give that some thought but i don't say that it's haram because the haram and the highlight doesn't change it doesn't become you know it doesn't become haram because we said so and allah is generally permissible but it's just something that people should give consideration to and it's permissible like the issue of two wives we said let's be fair that i also think the issue of two wives is something which is permissible and yes it works for some people but it also doesn't work for everybody so a person should think about it carefully before they uh start on that because it's not uh you know it's not beneficial for someone just to marry someone else and then end up getting divorced to the first one and it just goes like that you know a constant cycle of marriages and divorces doesn't benefit anybody okay we spoke about the issue of obedience and kind of like you know obedience to allah coming first and foremost from both parties however specifically when we look at the husband and wife relationship it does seem like there's a tone that the wife has to obey the husband and you kind of mentioned before that the wife has to obey the husband as long as the husband isn't commanding her with anything that goes against the commands of allah having said that there is like really strong wording from some hadith from the prophet sallallahu alaihi for example if i were to command anybody to prostrate to anyone other than allah i would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands again we're going through a process where a woman is kind of growing up and she's under the care of her guardian the male guardian marries her off to the husband and now suddenly she's in a relationship where she has to obey to the letter everything her husband says obviously with the exception if he commands it with something that is against the religion i think you're using the word married to off there uh i just feel like that was you know what we have to be clear that a woman is not allowed to be forced into marriage in islam okay yeah he facilitated her marriage but i i mean right it's not it's not wrong but i just think that people need to understand that we're not talking about we're not talking about her being forced into marriage here false marriages are not allowed for marriage is not allowed and if a woman is forced into marriage she's given a choice and this is from the wisdom of islam by the way that she's given a choice and she's not forced even a second time to leave because that's not fair on her now she's in a marriage there was a woman she came to the prophet salallahu and she said that i was forced my father forced me into marriage and the prophet said i will give you a choice if you wish i will dissolve your marriage and if you wish you may remain with your husband she said no i want to remain with him i'm actually happy with him i i wanted the people to know that they're not allowed to force a woman into marriage and she wanted what we call what we would call now a test case you know i just i wanted i just wanted a judgment that you're not allowed to do it but otherwise i'm i'm happy with who my father chose for me so as for the hadith of the prophet salallahu has different wordings but the wording i have in front of me and yes if i were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone i would command a woman to prostrate to her husband in some of the rewards of the hadith it's mentioned the reason for this and that is because of everything that the husband is required to do for his wife so i actually see that to be honest to be a very positive thing that a woman has a husband that is commanded to do so much for her he has to provide a house for her he has to provide uh he has to spend upon her he has to clothe her to the same extent that he calls himself with the same you know the same standard that he calls himself and all the things he has to take care of that means that her ob her her what's the word her that the gratitude that she should have for that is is a great gratitude uh for all the things that he does and that's a similar thing that is said about the parents for example it's even emphasized even greater for the parents what they did for you when you were small how they looked after you islam is a religion of showing gratitude to allah first of all and then showing gratitude to people who do good for you and i think it's an amazing thing you can turn to a very positive thing to look at what a woman has to do in terms of the fact that so many things have been taken off her that have been put onto a man in terms of burdens and responsibilities uh for example the hadith of the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam either was that if a woman she fast she prays five daily prayers and she fasts ramadan and she obeys her husband with the conditions we mentioned in the sense of uh in that which is permissible for allah she will enter jannah it will be said to her enter jannah from whichever of the eight gates that you wish and allah subhanahu ta'ala has put certain things upon the man that are difficult but he's put them upon the man because he sees that generally men generally men are suited for that responsibility and he's lifted it from the women because generally they're not suited for it so in that sense there is an imbalance in the sense that a man is required to do a lot for his wife really has to do a lot and he's told it's we took from you a very heavy bird and a heavy oath it's a big responsibility was also beni make sure you treat your women well and so on you see all of that and it does deserve gratitude and then you also hear from the other side the ingratitude that will lead to the people being from the people of the hellfire which is the ingratitude when they say i've never seen anything good from you so this is just the reverse side of that hadith and it doesn't mean that a woman should prostrate to her husband because the prophet saws didn't command that it simply means that if i were to tell anyone to bow to anyone out of what someone has done for them i would have told a woman to bow to her husband and that's showing that the great status of of what the husband is required to do for his wife and i think that's not necessarily a negative thing i think if anything a woman should be looking to take advantage of the things that she has been given that haven't been given to men like for example the fact that she only has to pray her five daily prayers and fast ramadan and obey her husband generally stick within the limits of islam and she said enter any of the eight doors of jannah you wish as for the man there's a door for certain things a door for another thing he has to bring all of those eight huge actions of islam so ultimately she should take advantage of that that actually doesn't mean that she's being given a uh necessarily something which is unfair she's being given something that suits her and the man's been given something that suits him and now both of them should be taken advantage of that i think the man should be saying you know what it is if my gender is in looking after my wife and taking care of her and spending on her and working and doing all those things then that's what i should be seeking the reward of allah from and if that woman says well if my gender is in now being grateful to my husband for that like there is mentioned the hadith the prophet says he said to one of the women to look at how you are with your husband foreign he's either your paradise or a hellfire then she should be looking at taking advantage of that to get near to allah so it's not about one wanting to have what the other one had but it's about each one saying okay this is what allah has given me to do now let me take advantage of it and what should the woman's intention be when she's obeying her husband should it be to please the husband or to please allah to both no ultimately if her intention is only to please her husband then the only thing she gets out of that is the pleasure of a husband okay but if her intention is to please allah then she gets from that insha allah the pleasure of allah and the pleasure of our husband because ultimately as muslims we are required to submit we're not required you know subhanallah so many things happen to you and you think you know this situation like this how like you you know maybe you would wish something would be different i would wish i could have done this instead i would wish i could have done that instead but in islam you're told to submit to what it is that allah is given don't seek what some of you have been given over others men have a chance to they've been given opportunity here allah has given you men a bunch of things that this is your opportunity to earn reward willingness and women have been given a bunch of opportunities to earn allah's reward what's up and ask allah from his from his bounty okay let's go on to another topic within the broader topic of marriage and that is marital intimacy i have a hadith here that says if her husband calls his wife to his bed i.e for sexual relations and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger that angels will curse her till morning now a lot of people see islam as kind of uh making it making marital rape permissible it's almost like there's no such thing as marital rape a husband can have intimate relations with his wife whenever he wants and the wife has no choice but to obey do you see why some people might find that misogynistic no okay i actually see that hadith is an evidence why marital rape could never be allowed because she is under threat of punishment from allah for not complying with her husband's advances or not answer not not responding to her husband's advances but the prophet says him didn't say to the men that if the wife says no then force her so i to be honest and the second thing is allah azza said that men have the that she has what men have over her and as men have rights over their wife women have rights over their husbands so why wasn't it mentioned one of the people who mentioned that this is from the rights of the wife as well as the husband but it is more emphasizing the right of the husband because of the nature of men and because of the danger to him in terms of his his uh you know religion and practicing his religion properly that men are typically generally speaking in this regard more impulsive uh more likely that if they don't satisfy their desire in a way that's permissible that they might start to think about doing so in a way that's impermissible which brings harm upon that woman by the way and ultimately i also think that before all of this go back and say i mean there's on that topic also there are a hadith about the man taking care of his wife in terms of intimacy and uh not rushing her and so on and so forth that's a right of the wife as well but obviously we're not talking about that because feminism doesn't look at their their rights and women but if we go back in the beginning first of all this whole idea of individual consent in each individual instance is not a part of islam in reality in islam marriage provides a general consent to intimacy when you marry someone there is an understanding that the couple will be intimate with one another that's the right of the wife it's the right of the husband the wife can go to the car there and say my husband is not taking care of my rights in terms of intimacy and the car they can say to the husband he can bring him and he can say to him this is something you must do otherwise there you know the marriage could be broken apart there could be uh you know penalties upon you and more than that allah subhanahu ta'ala will become angry with you because you're not fulfilling her rights but the nature of men is that you have to emphasize this that if a man comes to his wife uh and he has a particular need in that sense in reality that man is very easy to him for him to fall into haram so the woman is told look take care of your husband this regard because ultimately for example the prophet saws said that if a man sees a woman that he's impressed with or amazed with then he has to go back to his wife for she has what the other one has in other words men are like that and it's a this is a flaw within men and if if he is satisfied one way or the other and that's enough for him so ultimately he goes back to his wife and she knows that when he uh requests that from her she has to answer that request and comply to it and that's from the general understanding of marriage he doesn't have the right to force her and we know that from the same hadith that you quoted because the angels are angry with him or the angel's cursor until the morning which means that he has no right to force her and in that case this is for the general understanding of marriage because generally you know these criticisms come from people who in the first place don't understand the institution of marriage marriage is a general consent when the woman gives her consent and she does give her consent because we said there's no forced marriage in islam she consents to marriage she consents that i am going to be available for intimacy for my husband whenever allah has made it permissible as not when allah has made it and the husband agrees the husband agrees that she has the same right from me but the right is more strongly emphasized because of the danger to the man and what that will bring back upon the woman as well because it will bring back upon her she's not going to be happy if her husband has got a wandering eye looking at every woman that goes past so she needs to take care of her husband but her husband also needs to take care of his wife as there are many as i said a hadith in that regard in terms of the man taking care of his wife and sheikh islam tamiya rahim allah he mentioned in this that this is from the strongest of the rights of the wife that she has over a husband because one of the major purposes in islamic legislation is to preserve honor and preserve reputation in other words preserve chastity and so on and so forth so ultimately that's important for the wife it's important for the husband but typically men in that regard have a very uh limited amount of sabbath in that regard a limited amount of patience as opposed to women who typically don't have that kind of the same impulsive sort of behavior in that way you've mentioned the issue of the cardi a few times now throughout this podcast don't you feel like that's another example of a woman always having submit to a man it might not be the father it might not be the husband but ultimately when she has a complaint about either of these two parties guess who she has to go to it's another man it's not a female imam because we're not allowed that it's not a female judge because we're not allowed that how does that feel a woman she's always underneath a man so i think there's a couple of things here i think first of all uh when it comes to seeking advice or when it comes to complaining about her situation she's free to complain or seek advice from anyone she wants male or female but in terms of the there is no doubt the prophet saws mentioned that a people will not be successful who are the the their affairs are governed by a woman the prophet says him said that that's an authentic hadith that's what he said at the end of the day that's a reality from what allah revealed to him now the khaldi it makes perfect sense if we just said that the testimony of the the testimony of two women is required in place of a testimony of one man and now you're going to make a copy of a woman what we're going to do bring two two female cardis i need to judge on a matter reality is if a woman then in in many societies or female judge is she going to have 10 feet because the most important thing a judge needs to have is the ability to carry out would they not understand women better so when women come to them with problems a female judge would understand let let her go to her mother for advice let her go to her sister for it but the mother's not the one making the ruling no allah is the one making the ruler but no the judge hold on hold on here yeah allah is the one making the ruling the ruling is from allah the judge doesn't have the right woman whoever doesn't rule by what allah has revealed it is they who are the disbelievers so let's just say there's a woman who wants to get married okay her father is not permitting that okay they go to a judge allah has not revealed the exact room for this particular situation because obviously okay so i revealed the ruling in this situation he revealed principles which by which the judge can make rulings reveal the ruling allah reveal that it's not permissible for you to prevent your women who are under your care from getting married that's a ruling what if she wants to get married for to someone who the father believes that it's someone harmful for her but she doesn't so there's a situation now where you've got two people who are generally like the woman believes it's right for her and the man believes it's not and they have to go to academy talk it out here both sides that particularly so he's gonna hear both sides he's gonna hit both sides but now she wants to empathize with her he's got he's gonna rule he's it was a human being as well so he's going to try but it could be emotions involved naturally he's going to be empathized more with a man because he was involved there would be no emotions huh if a woman was at least if there was a woman involved in any of these positions she has the opportunity to be heard by someone who can understand her better is what many people might say i still i don't i don't think that i think there are too many issues with it i don't see how that can match with what we've just spoken about the testimony of the woman i don't see how also it can match with when we talk about uh the issue of 10 feet the issue of that woman how is she going to impose her authority upon that man very difficult and i i've been in situations where i've been asked to judge and i can tell you one thing whenever someone comes to me and says we want a judgment i will say look i i'll see how i can give you but i can't give you a judgment because i don't have the ability to make 10 feet i don't have the ability to carry out that my word will be taken and what i tell you you are now going to be obliged and you're going to be under the under threat if i don't if if you don't carry out what i say so i personally see that this this is a matter that allah azza has given to men like prophethood and allah says allah knows better where to put prophethood i mean you and me could say it's not a gender thing you and me could sit here and say why did allah not make us prophets because allah knows better where that belongs to and elijah shall give certain things in authority if a man is in charge of a household and then you want on top of that to be a female judge to be in charge of him it doesn't make sense and it doesn't it doesn't match with it's not consistent with the rest of the rules of islam and there is no issue with her going to a female for advice that the women from the sahaba they used to go to the mothers of the believers they used to ask them for advice they used to ask him for rulings for a hadith they had heard from the prophet alaihi wasallam but ultimately allah is which has placed the issue of authority and leadership and so on in the hands of men and that's for allah to place that's not a man who has placed it in the hands of a man allah is placed now that doesn't mean that there are no women on the face of the earth who would ever be suitable for that because we said the sharia rules for the general situation and what fits everything not what fits rarities and and you know unique uh situations so i see going to a woman to ask advice going to a woman to ask for a hadith going to a woman to ask for any information about what i can do or what i should do or where i should go to get my rights this is all things that were that were done in the time of the sahaba and those who came after them but ultimately the judge is going to be the one to make the decision and above the judge there is going to be ultimately eventually the ruler who is in charge of the muslims who is going to also have oversight over that issue and ultimately finally allah subhanahu ta'ala is going to defend the rights of the people who are oppressed and they're going to ultimately somebody might be in a situation where and a man could be in that situation where the only thing they have left is to complain to allah subhanahu ta'ala because their rights were not recognized but in general generally speaking the islamic system does provide that protection for that woman and she's not going to that party to ask for that cardi's opinion or his idea she's going to ask what did allah is reveal about this by what allah is revealed i want to pick up on something that you mentioned which was the hadith that a nation that is led by a woman would never succeed if you're making it seem like in islam a woman can never have authority over any men and that just seems so unfair what about the situation as we mentioned earlier with regard to a man and his mother a man has to obey his mother right and so that walil ammar who is in charge of the muslims ultimately has you know his he has to obey his mother and and i we mentioned the hadith when the prophet saws and said umuk three times your mother your mother your mother generally speaking many of them held the opinion that this hadith refers to obedience not just to love this refers to that one of the the hadith talks about hassan sahib the the excellence of my companionship but many of them said that entails are it entails obedience so i personally don't think it's the case that there's never a case but generally kawama has been given to men we established this right at the beginning of the podcast that authority generally speaking has been given has been given to men but there is a balance in that there are cases and you know that generally speaking in terms of the obedience of a son or a daughter to their mother that's just one example but the idea that men have been given a certain amount of responsibility over women throughout the society that's consistent it wouldn't be and i would talk about this it's important because inconsistencies are a sign of something that did that didn't come from allah consistency is a sign that something came from allah so you have consistency in that and we said authority isn't necessarily a good thing like in the hadith of abizat that we mentioned in allah's best going back to marriage then we're now going through the marriage process we have a situation where a wife is actually disobedient to the husband what can the husband do i have an ayah here and the key part of the eye that i want is what the ibu hunna beats them islam allows women beating wife beating is that the case i think the the the choice of translation there is a translation that is intended to convey where the deliberate you accidentally because i know that's how often how the eye is translated and beat them what actually the ayah starts with admonish them and abandon them in the bed and hit them now here the first thing is this word [Music] it has a wide usage in the arabic language now i'm not getting away from the fact that it says i'm not i'm not dodging that at all it says hit them it doesn't say you know it doesn't say hold their hand but it had this word godup has a wide range in the arabic language okay from the usage of it in the arabic language is for example in the hadith of tehem we're told to to strike the ground yeah with the word that's that's it yeah this is tarp here one finger and also darab is you know beating that the prophet saws criticize the man who beats and rebuke the man who beats his wife like a person beats their horse so how do we know which one it means in this okay so this is very important now there are two things that teachers that we can understand what this means the first thing is and the more important one is the sunnah but before we go to the sunnah i just want to talk about a general islamic principle okay not your law doesn't oppress anyone it is not conceivable that the hitting mentioned in here could be severe it could be beating it's not possible because it wouldn't match any of the rules of islam we sent you as a mercy to mankind the prophet saison never hit anyone he never hit a slave he never hit his wives he never hit even a riding beast salawatu ali he never hit anybody so this ayah it actually has a story to it [Music] and this story and the issue is mentioned several times but it has a story and in this story is that the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam said do not hate the female servants of allah at all okay this is what was revealed in the first instance you are not permitted to hit any woman ever okay okay in any way including one finger two fingers slap with the hand you're not allowed to hit them at all it's not allowed he said that when you have said this now these women are going beyond their their they're like uh transgressing against their husbands they're doing anything they want because they they don't that there's no there's no consequence to it so the prophet saws allowed for a man to hate his wife i haven't established what kind of hitting that is but he allowed for a man to hear his wife now this is amazing a number of women a lot of women they came after this and they went to the wives of the prophet saying because we are your judge your judge issue you had before they went to the family of the prophet saws and they complained our husbands are hating us now our husbands are hitting us now for karl and nabil allah he said many people have come to the family of muhammad many women have come to the family of muhammad so i seem to complain about their husbands who are hating them he said these people who are hating their wives they are not the good people among you they are not the best people among you so now we have another hadith in which the prophet sallallahu alaihi wasallam he said if they do this then you may hit them with a hitting that leaves no mark [Music] is the one that leaves redness or it leaves a mark so this hitting is me this is a big mountain being made out of a mole hill to be honest with you because the hitting that is mentioned is so minor that it wouldn't even be considered to be of any significance other than a a gesture to show and this husband who is so good to his wife and so kind for him to raise two fingers some of the they mentioned to siwak for him to take the siwak or to take her finger and tap her with the finger that she would be so distraught by this that this such kind husband and good husband to her has resorted to this level that he's willing to take his two fingers and hit me like this without leaving a mark all right this is just it's making something into something huge after that the prophet says the people who do this are not the best of you they say they're not they're not the good people among you the best people among you the prophet saws never did it not even one finger so here we see that what happened was there was two uh two strong examples both ways there was a time when they were not allowed to do anything and the women started to transgress against their husbands then there was a time when they were hitting their husband when they were hitting the husband was hitting his wife and the prophet saws forbade them from doing that because it was they were doing too much and they settled in the middle what is the middle first and keep away from them in the bed some of the elements they mentioned is turn your back on them you know don't put out your hand just you know be separate from them sleep on the floor sleep on the sofa watery and if all of that hasn't worked you are permitted to hit them in such a way that it doesn't leave any mark that's i mean i read my we're not talking about something significant we're talking about a gesture that shows uh the displeasure of the man in what's happened and it shows that he feels he's got no resort left except that and it also shows where the marriage is going as well because it shows that if it's got to that point what comes after after from her side and one from his side and you have to make peace otherwise they divorce so it shows that the matter has gone to such a level where the husband now feels he's got nothing left except that and it's so minor in terms of what is what is permitted for the husband to do that really there's there r it really just isn't significant enough for it to cause a woman any physical harm it's more about it's more of an emotional gesture to read because if that person was treating her so well and being so kind to her then for him to do that she stops and thinks wow this is you know things have really got to the stage where when you know we need to sort things out many people will believe that violence should never ever ever be an option in a marriage but you're saying this doesn't even fall into the category of violence yeah i don't i honestly don't think it falls under the category of violence i i think that violence should not be used towards women it should not be used towards children i think that's the position of islam and i think the word violence and the word beating these are words that we we're taught when we study english the english language they have a particular emotional connotation they are said to provoke a certain you know reaction you know savagely beats you know these words are there to make a certain emotion within you but what allah subhanahu ta'ala permitted is a hitting which doesn't leave any mark it doesn't cause any severe pain or any lasting problem for a person this is a gesture and it's the same that you do with your children at the end of the day it's the same thing you do to children you know it's not something where you're not entering who wants to hurt their kids who wants to hurt their wife the prophet sam said how can one of you this a profound hadith he said how can one of you hit his wife like he hits a horse and then he sleeps with her at the end of the day and how can how can a person do that and how can anyone of any intellect of any respect be his wife like he would be his horse hit his wife like he would hit his horse and then he wants to be intimate with her at the end of the day these are not the people who are from the best of these not what the prophet saws did not even one finger but he allowed it as a last resort is like you know okay just as a last resort subhanallah perhaps this would save somebody's marriage at the end of the day it doesn't cause her any harm it's like to be honest i see that if you look at your kids being able to discipline your kids in that way that doesn't cause them any physical pain but being able to you know tap them on the wrist or whatever is what actually sometimes subhanallah saves your kids from going in all sorts of directions i personally don't think that has to be made into such a big thing but it's made into a big thing by using emotive language beating and all this kind of stuff and violence and domestic violence and also by the culture of some people because some muslims do this yeah and in their culture they hit their wife you know like you hit a horse you know they they hit their wife like that and then this is associated with islam when it has nothing to do with islam some non-muslims might be watching this and wondering why did allah even leave it open with the usage of that word to give it the possibility for people like you say in their culture to use and abuse islam in that way i don't think it did i think first of all the hadith of the prophet saws and clearly explains the limit but more than that even just the general concept of islam we said islam came as a mercy to people there is nobody who can conceive that this word means to beat and arabic has very particular in language there are words which mean to beat severely there are words like that and that's not the word that is used here so i i personally think that first of all islam is known for its mercy and softness so nobody can realistically take this ayah and think oh you know this is you know this is the the the suddenly the opposite and then the prophet saws every the end of the day the ayat have to be understood like the prophet saws as for why this was revealed the prophet said himself said why it was revealed because when the prophet satan stopped it from happening it caused problems in people's marriages and it became to the point that you know people were kind of using it against their husbands and saying oh you can't you know you can't even do anything to me you're not even going to do anything to me and the husbands came to complain and say look now you said this to before we never used to hit our wives but the fact that that was there things were okay now it became out of control so the prophet saws allowed it but he didn't allow it to go to that extent where the women came and they complained who did they complain to complain to the wise or the prophet says i had the fear you know there's a lot of lessons in that and there's a balance in that and it's just like i said i i really believe that when it comes to for example children just to give an example people can relate to that if there isn't an ability to discipline your kids that it at the end of the day it leads to a lot of problems later on but that discipline can never ever reach the level of violence it can never reach the level of harm because in islam we have a principle there is not allowed to be any kind of harm reciprocal harm in islam okay you mentioned actually in your answer there that if it gets to this stage of discipline and it's still not working what's next we come to the process of divorce and that's another question i have for you actually why is it so much easier for a man to divorce a woman in islam rather than the other way around if a wife wants to divorce a husband she has to go through a huge process core proceedings whereas a man wants to divorce his wife just says talaq three times sister there are so many things wrong with that how are you gonna have to go back and break this question down bit by bit i think first of all a man it is not easy for a man to divorce his wife that's the first thing that's actually a talaq which is according to the sunnah is not easy at all what do you mean by that so there are there is a talaq which is according to the sunnah and there is a talaq which is which is an innovated divorce the divorce according to the sunnah has two primary conditions the first thing is that the lady she's not menstruating at the time and that's a mercy to her because for example at that time they're not intimate at that time perhaps emotionally she's you know up and down she has bad days and it's not fair for her husband to take what's happening at that time and then maybe just get upset with her and divorce her he's not allowed to divorce her at that time and scotland does the divorce happen or not and many of them said the correct opinion is that it doesn't happen and if he divorces at that time the talaq is not it's not even counted that's the first thing the second thing is that it should be in a period where they haven't been intimate so for example an average couple let's just say that if there is still intimacy in the marriage that man is going to have to wait a minimum usually of a month before he can even utter the word divorce he cut before he can even utter the word divorce as for the woman she can go to the anytime by the way she can go any time of the month any time of the week any one time she can go straight away as for the man no he's going to typically have to wait several weeks before he can utter the word divorce by the way what is the word divorce once okay three times you know and this is also from talaq so he has to wait he has to wait first of all that they have not been intimate her menses come she now finishes her menses they haven't been intimate now he can issue the divorce that gives him time to reflect when he issues the divorce does she actually become divorced no what happens is now there is three menstrual periods typically in most situations some exceptions if they've only just been married have different things but just to simplify in most situations three menstrual periods he has to spend on her he has to live with her he has to provide for her he has to treat her as his wife now that's typically three months it might be more than three months for some women all that time he has to wait at the end of that time which we've now got to somewhere in the region of four months depending on the situation could be three and a half months could be between him first intending to divorce her and actually the divorce actually taking place the difference is that he doesn't need external confirmation for his divorce he doesn't need the khali to okay the divorce for him he can make the decision by himself as for the lady i believe this is from the the rahmah of allah azzawajal that allah subhanahu ta'ala has given it that she needs to have her divorce checked i was loved by a judge one lies from rahman that she doesn't get upset one day and say i divorce you and then she's stuck on herself with no uh option and she put she finds herself having left her husband and i didn't want to and whatever so instead she now comes to the judge and says to the judge that i want to divorce my husband the judge typically will ask her okay what's the reason for that this is my reason the judge will call the husband on the same day sometimes on the same day sometimes after a week so it depends on the judge call the husband and will say to the husband that your wife has asked for a divorce i believe the grounds of the divorce are valid she's not just upset with you or something it's a real genuine grounds for divorce and the grants for divorce are quite wide okay genuine ground for divorce she's going to return the mahar the bridal gift that you gave to her and you are going to give her the a divorce which is instigated from the woman which we call holla which comes from the woman and that happened in the time of the prophet sallallahu alaihi so when she came to the prophet saw i said she said i don't complain about my husband i don't say anything about his religion or anything about his character but i can't i feel for my religion if i remain with him and i'm just look he's got nothing wrong on his deen it's a religious man his character is good but just me and him it's not working so i value god for divorce and prophet same called him he said return the bridal gift to him she returned a garden to him of the bridal gift and the prophet saws dissolved the marriage straight away dissolved khan so this idea of a man kind of like abusing his wife and her wife desperately trying to get out of the marriage but she can't because he's not allowing it it doesn't really exist it's not i don't know i think that's i think it can exist but it doesn't exist in islam i think it can exist in times where islam is not implemented properly and that's the reality is whenever you don't implement islam properly you bring zom upon everybody everybody gets oppressed you know men become oppressed women become oppressed well men now many men are oppressed to be honest by especially by this feminist ideology that is now spreading around at the end of the day when you take islam out of the equation everybody oppresses men oppressed women women oppressed men everyone is just depressing everybody else but when you put islam there properly there should never be a situation where a woman feels trapped in a marriage and also bear in mind in cases of severe violence like like where there's severe upon her then i don't think there's any blame on her in that case leaving the house because in this case this is and she fears for her life she doesn't have to wait for the khali she leaves because in this case she fears for herself and she fears for her life or she fears for her health like in a severe way but generally speak in most cases most marriages are not like that most marriages she's not happy with her husband he doesn't listen to me he doesn't understand my feelings and all this type of stuff okay let her go to the and explain to the kaavi and let the khadi just check the reasoning that's all just make sure that it's not something someone says you know sometimes you want to say look sister he's a good husband you know like he's doing good for you really do you really want to go through with this that's all it is is that checking balance do you really want to go through with this as for the man it's not expected that he will make that decision and if he does make it emotionally then he has such a long time before he can actually make it now in this way if we say that typically a woman can divorce her husband quicker than her husband can divorce his wife that actually is also a sign of the mercy towards the woman that when she really is not happy with her husband she needs to get out of the marriage fairly quickly you know it's not a situation where if it's really bad she needs to get out of it quickly and that facility is there for her where is the man typically he's got time you know like usually the man is not i mean it's very rare that women as a domestic violence from the woman towards the husband or something like that you know usually he has time to think about it and he gives a divorce let him take his time the problem which has happened now is the bid of the talaq which is bitter in innovative talaq where people are saying you know quick fire talaq and kicking their wife out of the house on the first day and all this type of stuff that is nothing to do with the religion of islam which brings them upon her and it doesn't give a chance for the marriage to uh survive and this issue of is it just terminology some people believe that is in a proper divorce and their wife isn't truly free like what's this no i think that there's a difference there are differences between between there are fundamental differences between the two that's why the two have different words but in the sense that when the hola is done and that it is finished she's free to marry somebody else i think that's that is enough of a divorce and there is a third type as well let's not forget about so there is talaq which is instigated by the man there is a hula which is instigated by the woman but ultimately the husband is part of the process right okay the cardi calls the husband and says the husband will say i have issued your i have agreed to your khula what happens if the husband says i don't agree i'm not coming to see the kali very common in the west where the kali has no 10 feet as we mentioned this issue of the khali has no ability to actually do anything so the kaavi says okay bring the husband husband said i'm not coming so now you have something called which is annulment of the marriage okay this is in the hands of the khali in certain situations that he can annul the marriage without the husband's permission for example the husband's disappeared years and years he's not not been heard of so i want to get married again you know it's not fair on me i'm just sat here there's no husband tried to reach him don't know where he's gone maybe he passed away maybe you know maybe he's run off somewhere but we don't hear from him the card he finds out the reality of that situation he can issue an instant annulment of the marriage and so the issue of the quran is also the quran closer to a kind of talaq or is it really a kind of annulment that comes from the khali and that's a matter the scholars talk about when they talk about the topic of the but what we need to establish is that when the hula is done the woman has the right once her idda is finished her waiting period is finished she has the right to marry somebody else and that's enough to prove that is a proper you know it's a proper annulment of the marriage okay let's move on for marriage and talk about something else now the next place i want to take this podcast is talking about the gender roles so we obviously have this huge push right now that's going on particularly in the west about gender neutrality and how women are just as equal as men and they should be out in the workplace just as much as men is this something that islam supports or not you know i think islam has a really beautiful approach to this it's not forbidden for a woman to work now in terms of gender neutrality we've established that islam is about justice equality this word equality is a mirage it's a sarab yeah it's like something that whatever you do to try and achieve it you end up oppressing somebody ultimately what's required is adult is justice justice is what's needed fairness is what's needed as for musawa just making everything the same that actually is not it never works and you can see so many examples just in in real life in any way even if you look at when people try to make people equal in terms of they're living you know look at things like communism and things like that and social is about but you know equally well everything you try to make this musa all the time you bring if it's not from allah what allah is brought is adam so he did bring musawa equality in some things okay but those equality are in things like for example the hadith of the prophet saws that women are the full sisters of men there's a degree of equality in that in that sense but it has to cut equality has to be within the framework of justice as for working islam didn't prohibit a woman from working a woman is forbidden to haram for a woman to work first of all that would not be practical in any society you have some women who don't have any male guardian over them or anyone who's providing for them and generally in islam actually we have a beautiful thing the state would typically provide for them the women who are unmarried typically the muslim state should provide for them they should look after them should pay for their income and look after them take care of them they're from the people that islam has included within the islamic welfare state however there's many times they can't do that there's some situations in which a woman finds that she wants to do some work first of all there are some conditions to that the first one and this is about consistency is that she has to have the permission either from the god you're not either from the husband and that's part of the same consistency in the we spoke about before the second thing is most importantly before that we should have made it the first thing is that it's not haram and that's an equal condition for a man and a woman that they don't work in that which is haram they don't work in that which is haram and the third one is that it doesn't take away from the work she does doesn't take away from the other responsibilities that allah has given her for example let's just say that she has a responsibility to look after her husband generally speaking and the work doesn't interfere with that the husband is happy i don't have a problem but it's not the case that you know he's upset and he's like look you know she's just career woman and she's working all the time and i don't see her and it's like i'm not married that's all i'm upon him because the marriage had a understanding that you two were gonna get married under a certain set of rights and a certain set of understanding so that has to be present but the husband can international he can say that i you know i'm i'm cool with this i don't i don't mind it doesn't interfere with my rights and there are some women who do some amazing work well like there are many jobs where we need women specifically in those roles dealing with for example dealing with females in certain aspects we don't want men to be be doing that there are some things that women do amazing i saw much women contribute to to douwa charitable projects because often the man doesn't have time because he has to earn he has to provide for his family whereas this work she's doing it's not essential for her because the money that she has at ultimately whatever money she earns is hers to spend so a lot of the time there's more women are free to work in charitable voluntary dour type of roles because they don't need to earn necessarily a living from it because they already have someone of course there are some women who need to earn a living but i'm saying a lot of cases like that so a lot of good comes from it but ultimately it's not islam didn't make it the default the default is that the woman has every expectation that her father or her husband if she's married will provide for her she has the right to say uh to her husband i'm saying at home you go home you go out and work i don't want to work and i think that's something that a lot of people would appreciate they would say that okay that's that's nice i don't have to work a lot of women would say i don't want to work why why do i have to work like in this 50 50 system you know you need to pay half the rent you need to be half the bills you know you need to pay i don't want to work i don't want to do that she has that the default position in islam is that the woman doesn't have to work but she's not prohibited absolutely from work if it's something that works in her situation her husband her family it works for her so i think like right now there's a huge work from home culture because of what's happened with the pandemic over 19 and i think that makes sense that a woman is not forbidden from working from home but you run into problems once the coveted pandemic goes away inshallah and women are going to be required to leave their houses because of course they're not allowed to leave the houses because allah says he couldn't remain in your houses and that's a a commanding verb in arabic language so how is a woman expect to live her life when the religion of islam is telling her she has to remain in the house okay so let's take this question in two parts let's say the first part about working from home first of all we establish a woman doesn't have to work in the first place so it's not a problem for her if she has to go out you know if her husband was working from home now he has to leave the house and go and work in an office that's his problem it's not her problem she's okay now she's she doesn't have to work but if she's got a job that requires her to leave the house is she allowed to based on this ayah is she allowed to leave the women are allowed to leave the house okay but how do you recognize that okay i think can we establish sunny shots okay we can establish that it's permissible for a woman to leave the house okay i suppose i would agree with that how do you how do you let him not only say don't stop your women from going to the masjid uh and it applies to the women after that i'm not going to say it's not an ayah that is only for this but the prophet saws explain this beautifully there was a woman she came to the prophet salallahu she said all messenger of allah i love to pray with you he said your prayer in the in your your prayer that is in the masjid in your local your local masjid is better for you than the prayer with me and your prayer in your home is better than your prayer in your local masjid and we mentioned that hadith their homes are better for them so ultimately this idea of covering this idea of being concealed this is a part of the modesty that allah has required from a muslim woman so it is better for her to remain in her home and she's not forbidden from going out when she needs to go out but this is different for the man is told fantasy wrote go out used to criticize when he was in charge of the muslims when he said see a young man sitting in the masjid in the time of work and he's you know saying namaste just reading the quran so get out go work fantastic go out and earn something from this that's your job as for the woman it's not your job to go out and earn something so stay in your home stay around your home but if you go to the masjid there's nothing wrong with that if you go to the market the prophet says in the time the prophet says no one used to go to the market and buy things if they just want to go out and see their friends they're allowed to don't see the friends this issue is not one of it being harambe if if that's something that they are able to do without compromising their religion because we have to be careful because you say yeah go out meet your friends and say i go out meet my friends in a night club or something you know i mean as long as it doesn't contradict what the religion says and yes we go back to the idea of the authority the the responsibility of the husband in the household it has to be organized but she doesn't have to have the individual permission for every time okay what do you mean by that there are two types of permission right there's a general permission and individual permission generally a woman knows my husband doesn't object to me doing one two three doesn't object to me going to see my friends you know doesn't object to me uh going to buy things from the shop doesn't object to me going to visit you know relatives or whatever she knows that generally she doesn't have to ask her husband every time because it's something that she knows from him he doesn't mind it but there are things she knows her husband will not be happy with and he's not gonna i know he's not always happy with it so in this case she should ask and that also is part of the consistency of a man being responsible but a man will also be asked she says i want to go visit my parents the man says no so the man's gonna be asked by allah why did you say that is there a reason for it do you have a valid reason for it or not so you might have a valid reason he might say i need you to be here allah is a situation in the house i need you to be here and the right of the husband it takes precedence over the right of the parents once a woman is married but if he says well i i don't i i want to keep you away from your parents you know i don't want you to see them and that's oppression and he'll be asked about that oppression oppression is darkness on the day of resurrection so i think that the islamic system of a woman being based around the house this is what is natural this is what is better for her and it's not forbidden for her to go out it's not something which is prohibited for her to go out and if you look at the wives of the prophet saw i said you look at what they did well you know they're examples of amazing examples you look at our mother and what she achieved in her life in all of the hadith of the prophet saws she was the fourth she narrated the fourth largest number of hadith of anyone among men or women in fatawa she issued more for tower than everyone other than three other people and she was a resource for the men and the women they would go to her but she still implemented wakarna stay in your home she primarily stayed in her in her home she went out when she needed to go out for something what they called going out for obedience to allah azzawajal going out for you know something in obedience to allah but ultimately she achieved so much and she still implemented the ayah so allah azza has given us this because it's better for the person and like i said the man has been told the opposite and tashy roof you need to go out and earn money you shouldn't stay in your house and i think that is what is natural and that is what works and if you implement it with lice it doesn't cause any oppression to the woman at all in fact it actually gives her so much ability to actually do things instead of the man you know running around from place to place and you know trying to just make ends meet she has so much she can do so much learning she can do so much teaching she can do so much benefit she can do for the people like aisha and her did so it's all about seeking that benefit that allah has given you if allah said it's better for you to stay in your home then stay in your home and now earn reward from allah azzawajal but it's not prohibited and you mentioned implementing properly i think that's a consistent thing i'm getting from this podcast that all of these issues all of these rules if they're implemented properly within the framework of islam it's not an issue at all the problems come when people oppress one another outside of the framework that islam has said that's not an issue that islam has it's an issue that people and i think there's another point on on what you mentioned about the uh the woman going out and things like that is that when a woman marries it's really important that she finds someone who's compatible with her you know there are some men who to be honest he doesn't really he's not very you know permissive when it comes to these things like he's not he doesn't you know like and there are some men who he doesn't mind you know so it's important that a woman looks for the right person when she gets married and this is also about the welly you know like it's important that the welly supports her in this looking for the right person because if the two are not matching she's a person who just cannot stay in the house you know even one day she has to go out and the husband is a person who expects that his wife will only leave the house when it's on fire that's a big problem you know compatibility problem it's not that the wife is necessarily wrong or that the husband isn't so bad but they're just two of them are not compatible with each other and that's the type of thing that the willys should be looking at and making sure that look are you sure this is the right type of person for you should be asking those kind of questions to the husband as well and i thought on that topic of the welly also and i know we kind of finished the topic but even this issue of how a a woman can approach a man it's really difficult you know she doesn't have the welly is she supposed to like just yeah you know just walk up to him and just like you know hey how are you doing you're thinking about getting married it's a means for her to actually be protected a little bit a little bit you know good point and a lot of the things in marriage like the mahara are there to show the value of the woman they say that the maha the wisdom in the maha in the bridal gift is that a man actually has to work hard to get married to a woman it's not like oh i want to marry you it's okay we're married you know like he has to now go out and work he has to earn money in order to just afford the bridal gift and to be able to spend on her to be able to provide her accommodation so now it's someone who's she's worth something to him it's not like she's like she has a you know he's like yeah i have to you know to keep her i have to really work hard so she has a value in that sense of something that has no value like the women of jahilia yeah you were losing to it earlier i think the nature of these discussions on the hot seat podcast are by default very one-sided and if it were the rules were the other way around we actually have an open discussion about what men have been given or women have been given you know a bridal gift that is to be to be given to a woman i'm sure there'd be some men that's not fair what about me you know and the man has obligated to provide for his wife and spend on his wife where it's not the other way around i want to hide that point on that very interesting you know when you talk about the bridal gift look at countries where the woman is obliged to give a bridal gift like a dowry okay these are countries where female infanticide is through the yeah people kill their baby daughters when the little girl is asked for what reason were you killed many of them say because daughters are a burden on us yeah we have to pay so much money to get them married off they're not going to bring us anything they're not going to look after us when we're old they're not going to you know all that is going to happen is she's going to be a burden that i pay for my whole life then i'm going to pay to get her married to somebody then she's not going to listen to me after that or look at me after that because she's going to be with her husband and it's just going to be a burden upon a burden this is the kind of thing that happens when you go against the sharia of allah and the rules of allah i'm not saying that every time there's that system sure at least to that but it is very prevalent in countries where women are have to pay a huge amount to get married whereas if you look the other way around first of all the man is capable of paying right he's the one who's been told to go out and work so now he also has to value that lady yeah she's worth something to him that look at the end of the day marriage doesn't come for free or group of young men whoever of you has the financial ability let him get married so it makes him realize that he has to treat her well and he has to consider her worth something and it also isn't hard for him like it's hard for her or her family and it doesn't and it puts a value upon uh upon having a daughter and raising a daughter that didn't exist in the time of you know when you have the other way around where you have you know that the daughter is nothing but a burden for us islam honestly came to bring honor to everybody it didn't come to bring honor to the woman it came to bring honor to everyone men and women and it came to bring good to everybody but the problem is that we live in a society which is fundamentally going in the wrong direction and they're trying to sell you a dream of freedom and happiness which will lie is just a mirage it doesn't exist it's just a lie and so many of these things come about because they've been told and been sold this dream of freedom and happiness and liberty and whatever and ultimately i think he worded it amazing he said they ran away from the slavery they were created for is that slavery to the man that was not slavery to them slavery to allah and so they fell into being enslaved by themselves and the shaytans you run away from one you find it in the other like now if you look at these women who are free and liberated they are abused by men at a level that is unbelievable the amount of abuse physical abuse uh the amount of uh you know relationship abuse the amount of they're abused for the way they looked it's you know putting women on billboards and whatever this is not liberty this is oppression this is actually slavery to men but they've dressed it up in the clothing of liberty to make people think that they're liberated and they're free but liberty and freedom comes when you submit yourself to allah men and women you did link it to modesty and i think the rest of the ayah obviously refers to that as well yes let's talk about that inshallah we recently did a podcast myself on the issue of nikab what's your opinion on that are you reading the comments why did you i do believe that the that on the balance of evidence that denicarb is an obligation as well uh allah knows best i believe i i what i to the best of my knowledge that's what i believe to be correct so you believe a woman you can see where this is going when she leaves her house she has to be covered from head to toe she's just rendered as an anonymous being almost like an inanimate object just floating around she's got no personality people can't see her face he understands why there's some people especially incredibly misogynistic isn't that that is that's incredible isn't that the perception what that no that's not okay come on carry on isn't that the position that many people have of islam it might be the perception but it's a wholly wrong person okay there are two reasons why the hijab was made obligatory upon a woman first of all the hijab was not obligatory in the beginning of islam this is something that came in the time of medina came after a long time in islam it was made obligatory for two reasons so that she can be known not so she can be like what did you say an anonymous florida none of the most floridians yeah as some people said so that she can be known the hijab is the biggest banner that the woman goes underneath and said this is me this is who i am i'm a person who has boundaries that's what the hijab means right hijab is a boundary a barrier yeah that this woman she says i have boundaries so you make sure you stay outside of my boundaries yeah make sure i have boundaries what if you want to go in the house going through the front door don't climb in through the window i i'm a person who has boundaries if i'm available to marry you go speak to my welly if i'm not then my husband will see what is yanny underneath the this hijab everybody else can just keep their boundaries and you are off now so she's making a statement now like a uniform makes a statement like when you see somebody in uniform it's like okay this person has authority true she's making a statement i have boundaries i have a hijab and i have a politician a barrier it's between me and between you what you go to the door through the you go to the house through the door fell out your vein and it stops her from being harmed there are many harms here but ultimately the greatest harm is religious harm you know people sometimes make to talk about the tafsir of the ayah purely you know it stops people uh you know whistling and it stops people you know leering at her but ultimately the greatest harm upon her is a harm in her deen and in the harm in disobeying allah or the harm in that hurts her modesty or her chastity that's the biggest harm the harm in her religion so it saves her from the harm in the religion it saves her from the harm in the dunya and it sets out a sign that this is who i am i think it's the biggest statement of a personality i don't believe it oppresses a personality at all in fact let's be honest how many times in the west and you know personally i've seen in office environments and the way men talk about women because of how they look and you know will hire her because she's eye candy for the office and you know be something to look at and while it's devaluing a woman that's disgusting the way people talk about women like that and who you value her for who she is or what she looks like put hijab on her do you still value her now yeah very true you value her for who she is or you value her for what she looks like well i believe that hijab is very very important and it's important as well because women are not like men you know ultimately if you take uh an average of 100 men and you just put those 100 men in a line and you have a woman walk past who's not properly clothed and then you take 100 women and you have a man walk past it's not properly called wallahi impossible for the reaction to be the same men and women are different in that regard but ultimately a woman has a right to be valued for who she is and she has a right to set boundaries in the hijab well i sets out a boundary and when i said i do believe the nikah is fault but ultimately i also don't disrespect those people who hold a different view i understand they have evidence for it and they have they have scholars of islam who held that opinion ultimately a woman who goes out wearing hijab to the best of her ability she sets that boundary she's known as a practicing muslim woman who has limits you treat me with respect you treat me for who i am and it stops men from abusing her and it stops her from being harmed in her religion or in her in her dunya and i actually believe that's actually a positive thing it should be seen as a very positive thing and an empowering thing because i think right now in the world of feminism quite sadly is that feminism has actually reduced the choices that women have like right now in modern feminism today i'm not talking about like first wave feminism but modern feminism today a woman wears hijab she's cons she's oppressed whether she says she is or she isn't i'm not oppressed i want to wear the hijab i want to be known as a person of modesty and i want to be judged for who i am not what i look like no i'm sorry you're oppressed yeah they feel like even though she's saying that the only reason she's saying that is because she's being brainwashed by men and you won't be you know you won't be free until you take off all your clothes that's the reality of what they're saying to you and that's ultimately that it goes against even the soul of feminism it should go against it even the fundamentals of feminism should not should say that a woman has at least they're supposed to say that a woman has a choice but ultimately they remove the choice in the same way that islam was the choice i do believe that islam removes the choice by the way because islam is not a religion of choices it's not for a believing man or a believing woman if allah is messenger matter so they should have any choice islam is not a religion of choices it's a religion of submission but subhan are people calling to freedom and they remove the choices the same way except they remove it for their intention and you know as for allah azzawajal allah doesn't decree anything for us men or women except that it's good for us yeah this issue of protection and protecting the woman it cannot some may argue make it extremely inconvenient for a woman as well like for example haditha says the woman can't travel without her without a guardian so to say a male guardian can you see why that might be inconvenient for many women especially now that travelling has been made so easy yet they can't just easily travel from city to city or far distances i can see how it could be inconvenient definitely but i believe that everything in islam has a wisdom right we said one of the principles we started with is which has infinite wisdom and in cases of necessity there is a different ruling here because the ruling here of a woman not traveling the prophet saws okay that it's not permissible for a woman who believes in allah in the last day to travel without mahram that is a an established ruling in islam but necessities have their own rulings right so if it's a necessity for her to travel without a mahram then that's a matter which necessities is not included in any of the rulings of islam necessities there in all of the rulings of islam have exceptions to them because of necessity right female without in a safe state of necessity without going back to it or go or eating more than they need to there is no sin upon them so we're not talking about necessities we're not talking about a woman who for example she needs medical treatment and she can't travel because she doesn't have a mahram so we just leave her to die islam doesn't say that inconvenience yes but then in that regard inconvenience in return for the pleasure of allah azzawajal is worth it and we all do that men male and female we all do things that are uh that have inconveniences like getting our bed for future or like making wood or in the morning at fiji time when the water is cold we go through that because we we know the rewards that exist from allah subhanahu ta'ala when we obey him and ultimately there's a great wisdom and i honestly believe that a woman traveling alone there may be situations in which a woman can travel alone and not be harmed but a lot of the time if we say that remember we said the ruling uh sharia looks at not another it looks at that which is most of the time and commonplace and i would suggest that most of the time a woman who is traveling on her own if you look at history and you look at even the world today in most countries you look at a woman just on her own that like that traveling like a backpacker she's just walking around this you know a city by yourself there's a lot of danger in that yeah potentially with a man but the potential no but i'm not sure that's valid because nowadays you get on flights and you're not alone you're with other people but with islam is saying you can't get on the flight without your husband no i'm not sure that's the case as the majority of women as there's many non-muslim women who travel around on a flight from one country to another country no and i believe that there's a lot of un-islamic things happen in that situation a lot of exposure to things which are not islamic and that's true that's true and i again you know at the end of the day islam doesn't say that in fact there are a hadith that indicate that a woman could make that there will come a time when a woman can travel in safety but that doesn't change the ruling of islam because there are harms there whether you perceive them or not and to be honest i think even even on flights and i travel a lot take a lot of flights and honestly you can see when women are traveling by themselves in many situations not every situation i'm not i don't need to prove every situation i only need to prove that this is commonplace that things happen that shouldn't okay i'm coming towards the end of the questions that i have for you i want to move on to the on the discussion two inheritance and again this is something that's very well known in islam that a a daughter inherits half of what her brothers inherit this obviously if the parents pass away how is that fair i think uh i would like to stop first of all in that particular statement that a daughter inherits half of what the sons inherit if the parents pass away i think it's really important that there are many situations in inheritance where that's not the case okay um i although i'll start by saying yes i the general rule is that that is the majority of cases it would be the case that a male at the same level for example a child uh a male would inherit twice that of a female okay so let's answer that first yeah because you've been saying all the way through the podcast that the the shari comes with and you know yeah absolutely but i want to talk about some situations in which that's not the case so that people don't take it as a which is absolute it's not absolute in fact there are situations where a woman inherits more than a man but let's just take for example this this situation where you have a man who passes away and he left behind sons and daughters a mixture okay the son takes double that which the daughter takes first of all we have to understand from this that this is actually a very it's actually a very simple situation to understand typically boys the son in this case will have spending obligations he will have to spend upon his sister he will have to spend upon his wife if he has one he'll have to spend upon his mother she's still alive he will have to spend upon typically that's going to be his role yeah as for that woman that money she receives nobody she has to spend it on at all no one except in some situations if her parents are really poor and there is no one to spend on them except her and she's wealthy that's a different matter but typically that money is hers handbags and shoes she can you know like at the end of the day she if she that's what she wants to spend it on that's what she can spend on she doesn't have to spend it on anybody but typically that boy would have to spend it even upon even if we say no one was left except just that brother and sister that boy may well be obliged to spend to look after his sister yeah true but that sister she doesn't have to spend upon him so that's one reason okay but it's actually a misconception that it's a you it's a universal rule that that men receive double what women receive in inheritance sometimes men and women receive the same so let's take for example a person who dies and leaves behind a sister on their mother's side and a brother on their mother's side they inherit equally half and half 50 50. the sister on the mother's side and a brother on the mother's side because allah he said if there is a man who dies without any children or a woman and they have a brother or sister on the mother's side every one of them whether male or female inherits a sixth what do you mean by brother and sister on the mother's side so this is i'm we think from the dead person here so okay and abdullah has a half brother and sister oh the half brother and sister are half from his mom's side in other words that his mom was previously married or subsequently married and he has a half brother and a half sister they inherit equally 50 50 dead you know like a sodos a six and a sixth um or if they are more than that then they share a third equally among themselves the male and the female do not get different amounts so that's an example when they inherit the same they may inherit more so for example let's take a woman dies leaving behind her husband and two daughters okay the husband inherits a quarter and the daughters inherit a third each oh wow so now the daughters inherited more even each individual daughter inherited more than their father inherited from their mother who from their mother who passed away and there are some situations uh like that for example a husband a wife dies leaving behind a husband and leaving behind a single daughter the husband takes a quarter she takes a half the daughter and she inherits the remaining as well she inherits what remains from it there are some situations even in which a woman inherits and a man doesn't inherit anything so let's take for example a woman who dies she leaves behind her husband and she leaves behind a father a mother a daughter and a granddaughter from her son okay a granddad was from her son if it was a grandson from her son he wouldn't inherit anything but the granddaughter from her son inherits a sixth okay so if it was her brother he wouldn't inherit anything the reason he wouldn't inherit anything is what he has left is al-baqi whatever's left and there's nothing left in that picture in that situation there's nothing left for him right because all the each share has been given out to other people and she takes a share a fixed share of a sixth but if it was the case that she had a brother the brother gets nothing because there is nothing left for him yeah so yes these are not like it's not the most common situation but there are situations it's not that islam didn't set a principle women you don't deserve anything men you deserve more rather that each situation is set out by allah there are times when a woman gets equal there are times when she gets more there are times when she inherits and the man inherits nothing but the general principle is that when it comes to for example children on the same level or when it comes to brothers and sisters on the father's side or full brothers and sisters generally speaking it goes in the level that the man will take double that which the woman takes but her wealth belongs to her alone and the man typically has obligations to spend out of uh his wealth and that's just me finding i mean not me but the scholars of islam mention it as from among the wisdoms you can take but ultimately we have to submit to allah when we understand that allah knows best for us allah subhanahu wa is not going to oppress anybody among us not oppressed any woman among us any man among us elijah knows best and that's more important even than the reason i just gave which is just to say that you know typically for example a man has spending obligations that he has to spend upon women but the woman doesn't have to spend upon anyone that's fair enough but that's only one example really the ultimate example is the one who created you knows better what to give you and what not to give you yeah and i think that's something that like i read to it like i said before that's a constant theme that has come up time and time again over this podcast we've mentioned some very controversial issues and of course the number one reason why we submit that is because this is what allah has said having said that within each and every single one of them you've brought about from yourself and from scholars before you wisdoms that we can understand that you as human beings let alone the hikman the wisdom that is with allah that we're not even aware of i think that's an important important point to bring out that every single ruling within the religion of islam that we've discussed today there's not been a single one where i don't think we've actually i don't think you've actually sat opposite me and said just accept it just accept it you've always bought about wisdoms even though as muslims we should be accepting it anyway as you establish this because we have to understand that whatever wisdoms we bring are just our limited ability to to see the wisdom in certain things but actually the wisdom is far greater than that you know we mentioned for example a woman remaining in a house and you know some of the scholars mentioned for example what karna the word used is the word karat and the word karate it means to find to be settled there that's where she's going to be settled and where she's comfortable and based around and you know there are there are so many wisdoms that i mentioned but the point is that ultimately we need to have that trust in allah that those wisdoms are there that allah doesn't legislate vulnerable for anyone and allah doesn't legislate hardship you know even this word uh tech leaf you know this word they say that burden yeah you know allah hasn't burdened you with anything honored you with islam allah has given you gifts allah has blessed you allah hasn't burdened anyone with anything but these examples are just to show that they are wisdom so people watch and say okay yeah i can see some of the wisdom in that but actually the wisdom in it is far greater than even what any human being can can express or can explain yeah i have one more question for you before we move on to some of the closing questions and this is to do with actually a topic that is not normally associated with islam and that's the topic of superstition and there's a hadith here in sahih bukhari where the prophet salallahu said evil omen is in the woman the house and the horse how do you explain that um is found in three things i think that first of what's really what you said in the beginning is actually very important that superstition has no place in islam so whatever this hadith means for certain this hadith is not true superstition but assume is where you can feel that something is not right for you okay it's just this is not it's not meant for me and the prophet said mention three things he mentioned a woman as in your wife a riding beast and a bait a house islam doesn't oppress houses that islam is not a religion that oppresses houses or oppresses horses or camels so there's no reason to consider this oppressed as a woman it simply means that when you you know you have that feeling a short term is like that like you have a feeling that it's just this does it isn't me it isn't meant for me this doesn't work for me there are some houses there's no reason someone says explain why just yeah it's not accomplishing it just not a compromise it's not working for me it's not something that is right for me now islam didn't approve any kind of superstition that this person's superstitious or their a curse upon me or an evil omen upon me i think the translator there uh tried to find a good word for a shrimp which is difficult to bring in but this feeling that something just to be honest this person is just not bringing good for me you know since i'm married this has not worked out for me one way or the other that is correct to say about a a woman about your wife that it could be a case that someone got married and it just doesn't suit them and they can't necessarily put their finger on it or they can't really uh necessarily express it in words it's just not working out for me and the same thing can happen with a riding beast that this writing me since every time i've written it something has gone wrong like it just didn't work out for me and i'm not saying it's a superstitious or it's got it's cursed or something i'm just saying that it just has not worked out for me properly at all and likewise a person can say so about a house you see you know what is i just decide i'm gonna move why are you gonna move your house in a nice area and okay just it's not for me this thing is not for me so that is one understanding of the hadith but for sure what we can say is there's absolutely no chance of superstition in islam because that goes against the that goes against which is the essence of islam yeah okay um i want to move on to some closing questions now before i give you a chance to summarize what we've discussed so far um i was wondering when you're going to ask me about the things that uh women have been given that men haven't been yeah that's not for this podcast that's definitely not that's what they're doing no i'm not in gold and silk and you know the the ease that's been given to the women and some of that no that door is closed that's always definitely okay um what if someone listens to this and they've heard what you have to say they agree with what you have to say however they say that there is no doubt that the religion of islam nowadays as it is practiced let's just say culturally in parts of the world is oppressing women and therefore what about the solution of actually changing some of the texts some of the religious takes to make sure that these kind of things aren't abused what what your kind of thoughts on that okay the problem with that is there are three real huge problems and the first thing is that allah azzawajal sent down this religion knowing what would happen until the end of time [Music] today i've completed my favor upon you completed your religion for you chosen my favor upon you completely for your islam chosen for you islam is your religion islam is your religion now whatever was religion on that day like imam malik said so whatever was not religion on that day is not religion today our religion doesn't have that flexibility the second thing is once you open the door to that you also open the door for people who want to abuse women to revise the texts you have opened the door for a man to say what means beat them black and blue right because you're now opening the door to revision of the text according to what you feel and like the intellects go are different of different levels some people they might recommend something that they see to be good but another person sees it to be bad or it has negative side effects so it's this idea of allowing people to revise the text the third thing is it's just not necessary because all that is necessary is going back to the islam of the prophet saws it's not islam that's at fault it's not practicing islam that's at fault and actually if you look at that you actually see that the question itself provides the answer that there are people not practicing islam properly so let's revise islam actually there are not people not practicing islam properly so let's start practicing islam properly they are the ones who revised islam and oppressed their women was treat your women well the prophet says i'm told that you've taken them as an amanah from allah azza as a responsibility from allah it's a severe thing it's a mythic which is described in the quran as a heavy oath a heavy burden this is what islam said so what we need to do is go back to islam and we need to get rid of every attempt to change and revise and modify islam now someone might say it's really important to note that islam does provide flexibility in the form of what we mean by that is that there are principles and a framework which is from islam revealed by allah which gives us flexibility in certain things that flexibility is built into islam you don't need to add it or revise it or change it's actually an original part of islam and it only exists in certain things where allah azzawajal has given you that right flexibility that is there that's how someone says well how can islam survive until now because there are collide and also principles foundations and a framework which allows you to deal with new situations new circumstances and so on in the light of what allah revealed and not according to people's recall because the feminist for example once it revised one way and let's say for example someone who is a misogynist for example wants to revise it a different way and ultimately we don't want either of them to revise it we want it to be like it was revealed from the lord of the worlds you know you mentioned throughout this podcast the feminism and feminists like what are your general thoughts on this kind of feminism movement that's been taking place i think that when i looked at feminism and i don't claim to be an expert on feminism i don't think that's fair i think my job here is to is to present what islam what i know of of islam and so i would say you know i would definitely put that disclaimer out there but from what i have understood about feminism is that feminism gathers together lots of different movements and lots of different ideologies and lots of different of different severity within that and different perspectives and different levels of extremism and extremity to be honest are gathered all in together there are certain things that feminists wanted to achieve at some point be a first wave feminism or second with feminism that islam already gave them in the beginning and so what we say is that feminism there was not really the answer but the answer again was actually islam islam already gave you know for example you have some situations where a woman is effectively treated like like property you know like she's basically inherited and you know that she is considered to be a slave to a husband and things like that islam already gave women those rights so the right to break out of that was given to them by islam they don't need a movement to do that and there are a lot of things in there that are not part that are not compatible with islam in all honesty and there are some things in there that reach such an extreme that they even break the rules that feminism was built upon you know this all these these issues now that this modern agenda which takes the choice of a woman away the choice to to cover a woman yeah the choice to be just a woman you know no no you're not allowed to be a woman you have to be a man until you be until you until you are a man you cannot you know you cannot be a feminist because that's that really in reality is taking far far away from what's going to bring a woman happiness and ultimately men and women our happiness is in servitude as soon as you leave servitude to allah you end up with servitude to creation and that inevitably is usually going to end up with a woman in servitude to a man because at the end of the day that's how society has has worked for the longest time when you have servitude to allah that's the only way to break out from that because that woman says look you know i might be obeying you in what is good but the minute you tell me to do something that allah is not happy with no i'm sorry my servitude is to allah not to you and that's ultimately what's going to bring men and women happiness and people will search for happiness in other things but ultimately they realize that they don't find that happiness except in servitude to allah and that's what we're calling to we're not calling to women serving men by calling to men and women being servants of allah and living the way that allah has organized your life however that is with the flexibility that's in there but living in within the framework that our lives which are sent down for organizing and structuring our lives and ultimately you know that might mean that one is in charge and one isn't but the end of the day it allah subhanahu ta'ala gives you the opportunity to get near to him and the opportunity for award so i personally see that there are i wouldn't discount every single goal of feminism i would just simply say like every ism you know it has to be just taken and compared to the book and the sunnah yeah and what you find is that the vast majority of things in there are incompatible with the quran and the sunnah and you actually find now when we talk about you know whether we're into fourth wave new wave latest version of feminism 4.0 ultimately you find things that are you know we talk about all this issue of pressure on people to change their gender and you know all this kind of stuff that's going on all right it's gone to a level that if the first wave feminists saw it well they would declare themselves free from it they would say we are we are free from this we have nothing to do with it but in the beginning there may have been certain objectives which were which pushed them towards that movement which were actually given to them by islam but the answer to that is not feminism the answer to that is actually islam because whenever you make a system for yourself to achieve something you actually realize that system falls short of what allah already gave you final question for me before you have your chance to summarize the discussion what would your advice be to a muslim sister who wants to be a practicing muslim sister and she's watched this discussion but she's living in a time and a place where that is telling her that you're being oppressed you're being oppressed and she really wants to be a practicing muslim what would your advice be to someone like that my advice honestly would be to focus on allah you know at the end of the day for you to to make your relationship with allah right allah subhanahu ta'ala will make your relationship with everybody else right and ultimately if you seek to please allah allah will make people pleased with you and if you displease allah that people will never be happy with you whatever you do for them they'll never they'll never be satisfied so i would say the goal of that sister is not like we say we don't start by saying okay you know you need to look at your husband and you need to look at your father and you need to be no we say the first thing you need to do is build your relationship with allah and make that your only priority and ultimately that's true for men and women because we all go through things i remember when i first accepted islam there was a lot of pressure to do things that were not in line with islam and until now many men are under pressure to do things that are not in line with islam but ultimately we turn around and say my goal here is to make allah pleased my goal is not to make people pleased and that's why even in this you know these answers i've given i haven't aimed to please people you know i'm not making this video so that people watch it and they think oh wow you know i'm really pleased i can make it i can make it sound really sweet you know i can sweeten it we can put a bit of honey on top and it can become like you know such a you know everything can be just sweetened for people but really what we want to do is we want to make allah happy i want to make allah please with us and if allah is pleased with us people well i if there's if there's good in them they will be pleased and ultimately when you live like that you feel real freedom you actually feel like now i'm free because i don't care what anybody thinks of me on this face of this earth i don't care what anybody thinks of me if allah is happy with me if allah is pleased with me that's all i want and i would say to people really simple just go back did allah command you to do this allah is not going to let us go allah is not going to make us lost if allah commanded if there is something that your husband is telling you to do that allah answered sultan you have every right to say allah didn't send down any authority you have every right to say i'm sorry i you know i'm not willing to do that but if it's allah that commanded you to do something allah is not going to cause you to be lost look at this statement of who of a man or a woman a woman she said allah told you to leave me here or not or was it your idea allah told me to leave you here he didn't let your light right now allah is not going to make us get lost allah is not going to cause us to become lost he is not going to leave any man or any woman who does righteous deeds he's not going to cause anything they do to be lost i really appreciate your time today would you like to summarize what we've discussed i think we've covered a lot of the points uh i think it's really really important again we go back to the idea of servitude to allah azzawajal we go back to the idea that you have unlimited opportunities in front of you men and women you have so many opportunities voila when you waste your time both men and women and i don't mean just women men and women you waste your time coveting what other people have looking for what someone else has why can't i be the one sat in that chair why can't i be the one doing this why can't i be the one well like you just you lose the opportunities that are in front of you so take them make sure you learn your religion properly because that's the only way you're gonna know first of all for men you're not gonna know how to treat a woman right unless you know your religion for women you're not gonna know what it means to be treated correctly unless you know your religion let's go back to how the religion used to be in the beginning because that's what brought honor and if you look at role models like our mother is you look at the mothers of the believers you look at the daughters of the prophet sallallahu alaihi look at this you see every kind of success every kind of of of goodness every kind of you know achievement in this world there is so much that every muslim woman can do but allah she just doesn't need to waste our time sitting there listening to the you know the statements of people who don't want good for her well life they wanted good for her you look at them and say okay after she takes this feminism and she becomes a feminist and she leaves all the religion that allah is sent then what do you want from her what you want from peace everything evil and everything that's disgusting that's what you want because ultimately that's what it's based upon is and freedom and it comes from worshiping allah azzawajal there are so many things islam gives roles to everyone and ultimately allah gives you the best set of opportunities for you and sometimes i think that people want things that are harder than the things they have you know for a woman is being given for example if someone said to you if you pray five times a day you fast the month of ramadan you obey let's say for example eight doors of jannah open food you say well i don't want it i'm sorry i'm sorry i don't i don't want to eat those agenda i want to go out and work if allah has given you something take what allah has given you take with both hands take the scripture with strength and go and take every opportunity that allah has given you and you'll still find within islam so much flexibility so much flexibility that will allow you still to be your own self to have you you know to do the things that you want you'll find that within uh yeah and within islam and sha allah i think otherwise i would just say the points that we made at the beginning those were the most important points uh to go back to i think we've covered a lot and it's been a it's been a good session alhamdulillah it was nice to come back inshallah we'll see you again soon inshallah you

Channel: Al Madrasatu Al Umariyyah

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Keywords: Islaam, Islam, Quran, Qur'an, Qur'aan, Sunnah, Muhammad, Hadith, Hadeeth, Ustadh, Abdulrahman Hassan, Ustaadh, Salafi, Salafiyyah, Sunni, Lesson, Islamic, Islaamic, Tawheed, Shirk, Bidah, Jannah, Muhammad Tim Humble, Tim Humble, AMAU, Al Madrasatu Al Umariyyah, Abdul Rahman Hassan, Dawahman, Dawah man, Imran ibn mansur, Naseeha Sessions, Allah, Iman, Imaan, Dawah, Da'wah, Iman boost, allah, amau, amau islam, taqwa, shamsi, speakers corner, spubs, islam, feminism, women islam, woman islam, feminist, islamic feminism

Id: HCWAxoD3LoY

Length: 158min 31sec (9511 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 14 2021