Doctors, What Uneducated Things Did Patients Tell You? (Medical Stories r/AskReddit)

medical personnel offered it what was the most uneducated statement a patient has said to you that X's mum recommended I stopped taking my antibiotics because antibiotics are bad for you they kill your antibodies people who think I am taking their vital signs at 4:00 a.m. to make more money no you just had open heart surgery 12 hours ago it's kind of a serious thing a year ago before my grandmother died when a nurse would come in to take her vitals my grandmother would put up such a fight because she thought and this was actually stealing vital signs from her as if they were a tangible object a mother requested a maternity test for her child not a paternity test but a maternity test she was convinced that her husband put another woman's semen in her when she was sleeping you read that correctly I just remembered a second story this girl came to the pharmacy to return her birth control I asked her why she said she got pregnant I asked if she took it every day she said number on the days I didn't feel like taking it I made my BF take it I couldn't believe the stupidity I made them answer a bunch of questions until they realized how stupid they were my friend has just graduated as a doctor and did a placement in Cape Town down in South Africa apparently things gets a little crazy on Friday nights and one night they had a guy coming presumably in an ambulance with an axe lodged in his head the patient didn't survive a few hours later another guy came in and asked if he could get his ex back they said certainly sir wait right here and called the police walked into the local detox one night for a seizure and find a male flopping himself around on the floor while some disinterested nurses watch I give the universal greeting of Em's watcher got before the nurses can answer the patient looks up at me from the floor and says hey man down here I'm having a seizure then he goes back to flopping time to start an IV pick a number between 13 and 15 drawing blood I had an older woman say wait you're going to put it back right number I'm not and she freaked out she didn't know the body will replace it once had a patient who was prescribed an inhaler for his cat allergy he came back a week later saying he was none the better turns out he was spraying the inhaler on his cat when I worked in the Canadian Rockies we had an instant where a mother sprayed her kids with bear spray as they thought it was a repellent like bug spray it was 99% Kay and pepper with a 9 foot range after looking at the patient's chart and seeing she had diabetes me do you have any medical conditions patient no me are you sure you've never been told you have any diseases patient never me what medications do you take patient insulin for my diabetes but diabetes is a superpower I want an STD test cause I had sex with two people without washing my dong in between okay do you know if either of them had an STI or do you know they don't know that's how you get them in it I'm sorry you get STDs by not washing your dong in between woman number no they have to already have you should always wear a that's just bad hygiene funcle' is a dentist said he had this 20-some year old common with a bombed-out motor that needed to be pulled he explains that she is going to lose her tooth and is expecting some sort of negative reaction which is customary her response that's okay I'll just wait for the other one to grow in what other one like when I got bees it was because I lost the old ones those were baby teeth these are adult teeth you only get one set so nothing will grow in the hole shudders I cracked a motor once and had it pulled my wisdom tooth took its place wasn't expecting it though twenty-something year old patient comes to her chief complaint on the Border's private this should be good go him he is visibly depressed and sad tells a story about how he slept with a woman didn't use protection and after he noticed she had a plastic box on her when she told him it was an insulin pump for diabetes he was mortified came in immediately to be tested for diabetes I had asthma when I was a child so stopped frickin patronizing me and telling me how to raise my daughter just because you think you're smarter than me leaves hospital back in hospital two hours later six-year-old daughter in respiratory failure and admitted tonight cou eggs I ain't no chicken my house cleaners teenage daughter was helping out one day and as I said hello she mentioned that she was pregnant again this will be child number three so I comment that at least we know her eggs are healthy then I receive the chicken egg comment I give her the short version of Human Reproduction and and rebuffed I promised her that she in fact is full of eggs and hers are in top form a week later she is back and informs me that in us confirmed everything I had said I gave her insulin because her sugar was low also dumping ice water on overdosed drug addicts that just makes the paramedics wet as someone with a mom who has type 1 diabetes I find that terrifying on a similar note a lady once tried to give my mother Splenda when her sugar was low an old man from a remote valley thought that he had got Parkinson's disease because he had been masturbating frequently when he was younger that's what the church told the young boys to keep them from doing it poor guy I am NOT a medical person but I once thought I was having a heart attack at work and drove myself to the air I was placed in a bed with a curtain after skipping trijet getting egee kg dry tin the hallway of the five other roommates separated by curtains was a 53 year old man that was there for burning sensation in his penis I know this because multiple people came to talk to him about his condition and he had no volume modulation what everyone kept asking him was did you put something chemical in your penis is response to each one was yeah I might have it took five nurses and a doctor before he finally fessed up to what it was bleach he said he dribbled bleach into the tip of his penis to keep from getting an STD the nurse was silent for a few solid moments before asking why and if he did this every time he was sexually active he said he wanted it clean and that he wasn't sexually active at the moment he wasn't sexually active he had done it after masturbating and was under the impression of his own semen could have infected his dong with something he didn't want she then had to lecture him that if he wasn't sexually active with another person he likely wouldn't contract an STD and that soap and water are a good way to clean his genitalia in the future I was frozen in my bed making that face from Edvard Munch's the scream and my no ex wife mirroring it back to me the man was moved elsewhere perhaps to rebuild his urethra lining and we were still too shocked to discuss it until leaving the hospital four hours later for future reference if you think you're having a heart attack please get a ride to the hospital I had a patient who drove themselves while actually having a heart attack and they crashed their car into a tree so they had a car accident and a heart attack nurse here I once had a 20 year old female patient who didn't know that having sex would led to pregnancy she had no idea how at my Animal Hospital I've had many people over the years bringing their cat because they found tumors not knowing that male cats have nipples I'm never going to have a baby because the hospitals don't wash them anymore she's 30 come a good choice my nan diabetic patient with a blood glucose of 1250 I'm hungry can I eat well sir your blood sugar is really high so let us get it under control first can I at least have a drink I can get you some water no something else without sugar like juice you're kidding me right in chart allergies shark bites it makes me break out in bleeding a middle-aged lady in fear too once told us at the last minute as she was being wheeled in that she's allergic to latex everyone freaks out because so much of the stuff we use and fearto has latex in it so we take her to the latex-free theater and do her surgery there when she's in recovery and awake I inquire as to what reaction she has to latex I just don't really like the sound the latex gloves meg dear I just turned around and walked out I actually have had two disease in the last few months I was rotating in the ax seeing a 20 year old female patient who came in for a few days of terrible vomiting first step was to get a urine pregnancy test which came back positive I went in and gave her the result and she got this very panicked look on her face that quickly turned to confusion she looked at me with the most serious face and says I just don't know how this happened I have only let him finish in my mouth a few times but I have never ever swallowed it that would just be stupid the next half hour was spent discussing the fact that she had been having unprotected sex for about three years because neither her nor her partner understood how pregnancy occurred best part was they apparently usually always used condoms for oral sex but not vaginal sex much education was given on that day second I was seeing a patient in a preoperative clinic and reviewing her history and allergies she claims and firmly sticks to it that she is deathly allergic to all saltwater bad red painful rash all over her body while at the beach she was also claiming to be allergic to snow where she apparently her face got all red and hot after being out in the snow she was dead serious and had no psychiatry problems good news she gots a line and didn't die I had a patient try to feed her newborn baby a French Dip sandwich a few years ago work labor and delivery for a few days and you'll wish there was a license required to breed this isn't the most uneducated but it's pretty classic I work in pediatric critical care at my first job we had this kid that was immediately post-op from a small surgery doing great was probably going to sleep it off and transfer to a general floor the next day the mum wanted to snow him with drugs and kept on insisting he had pain which he denied and had no vital signs or actions to suggester he was hiding he was getting scheduled Orolo pips and Tylenol but this lady was insisting on something IV when she didn't get anywhere because the kid kept denying pain she asked for something so he would sleep through the night and the nurse said we can try some benadryl and the lady snapped she demanded a doctor who rated the nurse and essentially said we were mistreating her child who was moving OMG I'm fine dying the whole time as he played xbox the doctor on service was this awesome brilliant man who was tired of dealing with this lady drug seeking for her kid he put on a smile asked what the concern was listen to her complain about how the nurse had offered the kid benadryl cocked his head and said well what about diphenhydramine have you ever tried that it's a very effective sleep aid for anyone that doesn't know benadryl is the brand name for diphenhydramine they're the same thing immediately the lady perked up and said deafening Amin yes yes let's try that meanwhile the bedside nurse is struggling to keep from laughing says I'll go get that and runs to the Pyxis drug dispenser in the locked room where she loses it kid got his diphenhydramine this reminds me of the time I was mad at my brother I must have been 12 ish and told him I put deoxyribonucleic acid on his doorknob my dad was furious I explained it to them later now I'm a science teacher and trying to educate my students so they have some science literacy as adults my dad worked in a Philadelphia hospital during his residency he says that one time he was asking a woman about her medical history and she told him that she was once diagnosed with fireballs of the Eucharist it took him a minute to figure out that she meant fibroids of the uterus fireballs of the Eucharist sounds like a really cool Christian fps I'm a nurse who has worked in the burn trauma haiku and I am now a hospital supervisor during the night shift the stuff that people come into the hospital with his mind blowing either their medical problem or their social problem or both my most recent and favorite experience was a patient who called the hospital condition concern line wanting to know why we were not teaching her how to Tet feed the operator who passed the call to me thought it was a prank at first I go to the mother baby floor to meet with these people and talk to their nurse I come to find out that the mother has tested positive for heroin in her urine it also tested positive in her newborn and she also has a current history of marijuana use in her past history of substance abuse her last three children have been taken by CPS and tomorrow which is five hours from now they decided to make this complaint at 3 a.m. her new kid will get taken away I go to talk to this woman to explain why we can teach her to breastfeed you to the drugs in her milk but the stuff that comes from this creatures toothless mouth is unbelievable her first statement is your job is to teach my kid how to suck my tit and I don't know why the hospital is doing this to me I don't smoke that much weed I'm cutting back she ignores the heroin here and thinks it's the weed and I always feel good on drugs I talked with her in circles for a little while it finally ends with her saying Frick it I'm having a smoke she got up and left and that morning CPS came to take her kid away the kid was in the nursery the entire time I'm told she barely even looked at it since birth thank God that CPS took that child immediately my old doctor said I could keep this pair of contacts for a year this girl comes in with the same contact she got his trials over a year before and she had never taken them out not to mention these weren't night and day contacts these will be weekly Acuvue lenses she did not leave very happy that day I once left a pair of those things in for like three days and it was awful those things must have been welded to her eyeballs at that point don't eat or drink anything after midnight before his three-year-old daughter's surgery the next morning tonsils and adenoids while intubating his daughter the next morning she vomited scrambled eggs causing her to aspirate them into her lungs her heart stopped and I did chest compressions on her for 25 minutes we got her back aborted the surgery and transferred her to paediatric IQ on a ventilator her father's response she said she was hungry I thought you were being too hard on her it must have been something you did to her if you're working with kids just ask them what they had for breakfast chances are that they forget that they aren't supposed to tell you you've been visited by the banana Guardian he will protect you and all of your bananas but only if you comment protect us mighty dog oh if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 715,632

Rating: 4.8871131 out of 5

Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, reddit funny, askreddit funny, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, karma, memes, comment awards, dankify, meme awards, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, chill, medical school, doctors, medical university, university hospital, doctor, doctors of reddit, emt, patient, patients, hospital, story, stories

Id: _vbr15k7R8M

Length: 15min 44sec (944 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 16 2019