Doctors, what basic knowledge did a patient somehow not know? r/AskReddit | Reddit Jar

people have ridded to work in the medical field what is something you have had to explain to your patients that were super ridiculous and should be common knowledge when you were told not to eat 12 hours prior to surgery it wasn't just a polite suggestion sticking the blade of a steak knife in your ass won't cure your constipation I really wish this was a joke had a couple that had been trying to get pregnant for over a year with our success turns out they had six once and were waiting when a woman lets a diabetic Sonny ridiculous amounts of sugar then gets him to run around in the yard to burn it all off because I don't like pumping him full of that insulin that's not how this works lady the catheter in your D makes it feel like you have to pee but you don't it does it for you no don't just pull it out you'll shred your bladder and seriously regret it you're screaming right now because you're trying to pull out your catheter please stop no don't throw your piss bag at me you'll be arrested for assault hospital security I'm a veterinarian and I don't understand owners sometimes I work at a clinic of a vet who's also a private animal nutritionist so sometimes we do house calls for special cases client Bob's dog isn't eating well and he has no clue why I go over and ask him to show me his feeding routine for his dog he fills a bowl with kibble and the dog seems super excited to eat ayuh too naughty then goes over to the fridge takes out the ketchup and wrenches the kibble it ketchup by this point my joy is hanging open in shock and I can see that the dog has suddenly lost its enthusiasm for the meal I asked Bob politely what he's doing and he's tells me that his entire family has ketchup on every meal I then spent the next 15 minutes explaining to him that his dog may not like ketchup on its food now the dog eats great I'm a miracle worker oh man I work at a pharmacy and we get crazy questions all the time we had gotten a phone call from a seemingly distressed woman asking if we carried a larger sized mover my first thought was Holi it how big is your V but I realized that there is only one size of NuvaRing so I told her to come up to our help window and we can try to figure out what the problem was when she finally came up by it you not this will most likely be one of the funniest things I have ever seen she comes up and she is honest-to-god wearing the NuvaRing as a ducking bracelet her actual thought process was if she wore the NuvaRing on her ducking wrist she could have all the unprojected six she wanted and be just fine the look on her face when we told her that it was a viel contraceptive she turned ghost white and gave a meek thank you and hauled us out of the pharmacy I felt bad for her but I could not help myself from laughing TL DR read the directions on your prescription a cold is a virus antibiotic will not help taking a medication twice a day does not mean taking the doses together one dose now one dose later not both doses now on a side note don't give your son your sleeping medication ever overweight lady with some liver damage had many conversations about Dart and reducing alcohol intake patient had cut out whiskey and vodka but did not know that Guinness had alcohol yes this was in rural Ireland shadowed a dentist in a rural area where most patients were in poverty one guy was so confused on why his teeth were rotting he revealed that his diet consisted of sugar sugar and alcohol the dentist had to explain sugar can lead to animal loss the guy said nope that is a lie 36 year old 650 pounds man in with his second heart attack he wasn't allowed to eat for 12 or so hours before his open-heart surgery he and his wife worried that he wouldn't get enough vitamins and starve to death he died on the operating table but not of starvation sad trombone edited for spelling and grammar no herpes isn't a death sentence you got it from having sex with someone who had it you didn't have a six did you have a roll six yeah or all six counts no it's not curable no it's not aids no look you are not going to die from this yes you have to tell your wife yes you have to be honest no it's not AIDS conversation with a 30-something man I'm a medical student and earlier this year I was taking a history from a patient during a bedside tutorial where a senior doctor takes a group of us to see a patient together I was speaking to this man about his symptoms and used the word D to which he gave me a confused look I said it again and he still didn't know what I was talking about I ended up having to ask him if he had any pain in his B while peeing in front of my classmates and my tutor keep in mind that this was a guy in his 40s you mean alcohol will damage my liver a female patient came in and told the doctor that she has been bleeding every month down there thinking it had something to do with the birth of her daughter though I can't emphasize enough the importance of sex education to an 84 year old man with a candle stuck in his rectum that you don't need to massage your prostate with a candle once a month a doctor had apparently told him 15 years ago to do this and he had not questioned it since embarrassed to admit this but when I was pregnant I was that patient I went down a really bumpy gravel road and was worried that I gave my baby baby shaken syndrome also after I successfully pushed her out during childbirth I was dumbfounded when the doctor told me to keep pushing I was so confused I wasn't pregnant with twins apparently it's common knowledge that you have to push the percent out firefighter/emt hair just because you're taking medication for something doesn't mean it's gone away here's a real conversation that happens about once or twice per shift at minimum me do you have any medical history diseases sicknesses and all conditions I should be aware of patient know me are you currently taking or supposed to be taking any medications patient yeah I'm on in twelve different medications here me ah I see one of your medications is metformin are you a diabetic patient not anymore I just told you I take meds for it me sigh my personal favorites are when the families of a loved one bring in food that is completely counter to their current medical condition off the top of my head I have had a family bring in a get-well cake to their dad who was on his fifth or sixth admission for DKA diabetic ketoacidosis he was still on an insulin infusion and the family didn't seem to see the program with giving him a cake because he woke up and was hungry I've had families order in pizza to have a pizza party when their parent is admitted on the cardiology warden on assault and fluid restricted diet due to extensive heart failure good times oh man one soda has sugar I had a diabetic man who didn't realize this I just don't understand how it was even possible to not know this is a grown-ass adults he was a completely normal person otherwise which is why it had me saying WTF to pouring Lysol on your diabetic foot ulcer won't keep it from getting infected three when we said clear liquids only like jello water and popsicles we did not mean you should convince your mother to blend you some McDonald's burgers and fries so you can drink that through a straw for unless you've already done it at least once before pushing a baby out of your V will neither be a pleasant nor quick experience my patients are all clueless I work with babies having to explain that I can't figure out what is wrong with them over the phone my mom called me and asked me what the rash on her elbow was after five minutes of trying to explain that I needed to see the rash I finally asked her what she thought of the shirt I was wearing took her a couple of seconds to figure it out you are more likely to die from a dental abscess than dentals raised dr.oz is full of it I also hate it when people say well if they are so safe why do you step out of the room and they act like they ducking stumped me the reason I step out of the room when take raises because I do that almost every day you get it once every three years I was in hospital with my girlfriend while the nurse undressed her the nurse asked if it was alright for me to be in there she knew we were together and we said yes with a confused look she then told us a story of a couple in their 80s who were in and when she took down the wife stopped to check her heartbeat the husband covered his eyes and ran out of the room while the wife burst into tears 40 plus years of marriage and they had never seen each other naked to look at the nutrition label when deciding how much sugar something has in it I had a patient who had been diagnosed with diabetes and said she was doing her best at avoiding sugar butter a1c was still around 12 which is very high and means your blood sugars are in the 300 range I asked her if she had cut out all soda and she said yes of course I just drink lemonade now Oh what kind squirt not knowing that brand name I spun around to the computer and googled squirt soda nutrition label and pulled up this we then had a long chat about how to look at nutrition labels when deciding what has sugar in it my sister is an ER doctor in Chicago she once had to explain to a Mormon couple on their wedding night how to have a six the 19 year old man had taken his 18 year old bride into the ER convinced his wife didn't have a V she had to tell a mother of four that giving your children a heavy doses of vodka didn't not kill the bacteria in their bodies when they got colds she also had to report that obviously she had a very frightened 23 year old girl come to the ER very afraid because she had found a growth in her crotch it was her [ __ ] when my sister was asking her how she had never noticed it before the girl responded my mom told me if I touch my area that the devil would get me the girl had lived for 23 years without ever touching or seeing her own v I guess when she would wipe she would just blot the outside quickly or something people who think that conditions don't count as medical problems because they're being treated the number of people who say no to the question do you have any medical problems at all who then lists all the drugs they're on however my favorite isn't a genuine ignorance but the way my friend deals with idiots by pretending it's simple ignorance when taking a history from teenagers young adults and asking if thira sexually active yes and are they using any contraception no he lights up and says delightedly congratulations you're trying for a baby it's awesome they're all like oh no no I'm not yeah you're having unprotected sex that's how you try for a baby congratulations no look I'm not trying for a baby you are that's how you have a baby congratulations I've heard him do it a few times and it absolutely cracks me up and it gets the message home vaccines don't cause autism you have to take your medication as recommended people caring for a woman in her 80s had to explain to her that you don't pee out of your V there is in fact another hole any STDs know any medications I take component and what do you take that for it's for my HIV infection taking your medication which was prescribed as three times a day meant you took it three times day not how bloody frequent you felt like it I had to explain to my 75 year grandmother that there isn't one straight tube connecting your ears she put ear drops in and put cotton in her other ear before she laid down so it wouldn't leak out medical professional hair have many stories that fitty ops requests one that sticks in my mind is a patient 15 y/o kid that suffered a traumatic head injury was in the IQ barely able to speak obvious cognitive impairments due to the injury and the family was strictly instructed to refrain from feeding him anything nothing by mouth no water nothing the next morning I get an emergency page from the IQ because the patient is going into respiratory failure I rush over to see the pulmonologist and nursing staff performing CPR on the kid the parents are outside the room freaking out sadly the kid didn't make it upon the autopsy they pulled out a pepperoni slice crust and green jello from the kids lungs it was devastating to tell the kid's parents that they killed him by sneaking him food the kid's throat muscles were so weakened by the brain injury that most of the food was ending up in his lungs the parents thought that the medical team wasn't feeding him free ox the only way they could convey their love for him at this time was to give him foods he loved tragic lesson learned I hope even if she's on top of the girl can still get pregnant yes gonorrhea really is a sexually transmitted disease paramedic friend of mine has had to explain to multiple people that diabetes is not something that everyone ends up getting in life dentist here I had a patient ask me what all the greenish white stuff was on her teeth after she brushed them the answer was toothpaste a pharmacy student told me this amusing knee-slapper a patient asked her if she could take two vitamin b6 soft gels because her doc prescribed her vitamin b12 living can be worse than dying for some I work with hospice care and initiate a fair number of end of life discussions and some families just don't understand what their loved one is going through edit grammar No the pharmacy doesn't just have to stick a label on it we have to call you back over because you said you've filled here before when you haven't call your insurance to get your info because you lost your card call the MD to figure out why he wrote for a strength that doesn't exist change the make because you have an allergy to it and didn't tell the MD get your insurance to pay for it make sure it won't kill you then stick a label on it patience goes a long way in pharmacies go eat something for an hour and come back lightbulbs don't belong in the rectum my wife is a postpartum nurse and on more than one occasion she has had to explain that the baby does not come out of your butt number 17 year-old mother of one that you just had a sea section does not mean you cannot get pregnant again use a condom you know something at our clinic everything is free I had to explain to a patient the other day that licking their sutures would not help them heal or taste good yet they did it anyway then they got the cone of shame I should probably say I'm Ivette that you need to be honest on your medical history I don't have any medical history yet you take Lee simapro xanax imitrex synthroid and seroquel seriously just be ducking honest and we can't avoid all of this bullet repeat patient of the STD clinic I work at isn't there something I can buy like over the counter so I don't have to keep coming back in for chlamydia me condoms dirty D patients more bits I meant like tea or something that eating a ton of bad food and being obese is bad for their health I'm a diabetes case manager and 90% of my patients are in denial countless hours of education time and resources are used to help them I want to discharge them if they are non-compliant which we do but most always begged me to cool them still most of only I tell my patients most of their problems are obesity related and they would feel better if they weren't overweight they don't like hearing this for purposes of surgery vodka is not a clear liquid I had to explain to a patient that his HIV diagnosis didn't mean he had AIDS it was actually really touching to explain he didn't have a death sentence over his head never saw that guy for again always think about him an executive once came in complaining of bumps on her tongue she was worried they might be cancer I got to write my favorite encounter know thus far in my career complained bumps on tongue asymptomatic exam tester Birds assessment tester Birds plane reassure in nursing school my labor and delivery teacher was covering contraceptives and demonstrated how to show patients how condoms are used by putting them on our at the end of it she emphasized make sure you tell them it doesn't actually go on their thumb that the way you've put it on a thumb is how it should be placed on a D once had a diabetic patient who told me that his way to control his blood Sugar's was to put a tablespoon of sugar in his mouth wait a few seconds for the diabetes to come to his tongue and then bang a shot of Baguio a kind of brandy and that way the diabetes would die because of the alcohol had a hard time explaining to him how this things really work yes all those cupcakes brownies and candy your family has been supplying you with this difficult hospital stay for a rotator cuff surgery might be the reason your blood sugar is 450 patients daughter should we get her the sugar-free candy in my head I was thinking more of a veggie tray barrel well that wouldn't spike her blood sugar like that candy has been a few years ago I was taking care of a woman from a rural part of our state she had just been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and it wasn't looking good her husband was kind of keeping her distance from her as I was doing something in the corner of the room he came up to me and whispered I can still kiss her right Ivan had to explain to him that cancer is indeed not contagious and he won't catch her cancer it was kind of heartbreaking smoking meth instead of taking your epilepsy medications is not a good idea that yes guys can be nurses too I'm a guy and nurse no I'm not a doctor yes maybe I should have been a doctor instead or maybe a woman I work an MRI when we tell you to remove all the piercings before your scan we are serious you can take out your bellybutton ring before you go inside the tube or the machine will take it out for you you'll probably remove it more gently than the Machine though I once had a pet owner whom I prescribed prednisolone tablets for ear infection one week later I saw the dog and it was no better I asked the owner if she had been giving the tablets she said yes and I asked how she gave the tablet she promptly put the tablets and the years of her dog WTF that just because you take medication that controls your ailments doesn't mean you don't have them anymore I asked plenty of elderly people if they have any medical history and frequently get no as an answer only to then look at their med list and find that they're on a dozen medications why do you take this blood pressure medication oh because I used to have high blood pressure nope not how it works I work in a hospital I was getting some history from this lady when she told me she was allergic to epinephrine Nance's adrenalin you know the stuff in EP pens at your gift to people when they have an allergic reaction to stop anaphylaxis reaction so I asked her what reaction she had the last time she was given epinephrine and she told me that it made her heart race and she couldn't settle down had to explain to her that that means it worked when the doctors nurses tell you that it is a very bad idea to leave AMA against medical advice you should take their advice several years ago when I was a flirt drew blood I went to the nursing station so I could grab someone to follow me into the room the patient was given a clot busting drug TPA this stuff makes heparin look like child's play and I would need to have a nurse hold pressure on the puncture site for at least 5-10 minutes to see if it had stopped bleeding in that time the nurse told me stone-faced that they left hey na after that drug falling down could cause serious injury because you just don't clot at all he was back in the ER a short while later another lady decided that even though she was in the ico that since she got four units of blood and felt much better it would be okay for her to go ahead and leave no it's not okay that is stupid edit mobile is hard when I was 18 I had to go to the doctors because of a hemorrhoid whilst explaining treatments the doctor said something along the lines of you need softer stool I was extremely confused until he finally told me that stool mint poop [Music]

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Id: v7ThfV_VQd0

Length: 22min 22sec (1342 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 11 2020