Doctors Share Stories Of Their Dumbest Patient - AskReddit

he asked if his lung cancer might have to do anything with his fifty a day smoking habit because he smoked roll-ups and he wasn't sure if they counted doctors have read it what's the stupidest patient you've ever had I had to explain to a seventeen-year-old girl and her mother that she was not in fact allergic to alcohol but she was just hungover she complained that on nights when she drank too much vodka usually on an empty stomach that she would feel nauseous flushed and sometimes vomit in the morning but it didn't happen all the time and there were no other typical symptoms of an allergic reaction I worked at a pain management clinic in an attempt to combat opioid use addiction and abuse a lot of patients were prescribed a medicated cream it looked a lot like sunscreen and you just rubbed it on to the hurting areas I watched the nurse carefully and slowly explain how to rub it onto the skin using small uncomplicated words and going through the motions of applying it several times but every so often patients would complain that their cream tastes bad I once had a child who swallowed a sizeable magnet that passed to the intestine and we were just waiting for it to pass in stool the next day when he came for follow-up we just found out that he swallowed another one that got stuck to the first magnet in the intestine through the stomach wall this resulted in intestinal obstruction and he was transferred to her immediately to have them surgically removed I had a mom and grandma bring their twelve-year-old daughter to the emergency room because she was bleeding not from trauma or a wound mind you the poor girl had started menstruating and the mom didn't want to explain what was happening or started to happen nor that it would continue to happen as mom and grandma well knew on the upside it was a very quick ER visit once they were actually seen my dad is an orthopedic surgeon who does a lot of hips and knees and cries with laughter every time he tells the story of a woman who didn't understand how hip surgery works and thought they were going to take her leg off fix the hip and then reattach her leg a woman came in because she got stung by a bee not allergic and no reaction it just hurt another woman brought her kid in because he got stung by a bee not allergic and no reaction an entire family came in because they found deadmau5 in their apartment a woman came in for a second-degree burn on her arm that was roughly the size of a tic tac a woman spent like five minutes explaining to me that because of all the vaccinations we give dogs we're seeing a rise in doggie autism I like to call it pod ISM had a patient come in stating that he couldn't bend his knee asked him to remove his trousers so I could examine his leg after he removed his trousers the reason that he couldn't bend his knee was that he had a plaster cast around his knee checking his notes he had been sent numerous letters asking him to come in for removal of this plaster cast and as he hadn't attended any of the outpatient clinics the hospital had assumed that he had removed the cast himself paramedic got a call for a stroke patient had facial droop and slurred speech says that it feels just like the last time she had a stroke ten years ago says that the symptoms came on about four days ago and she knew the moment it was happening that it was a stroke but didn't go to the hospital because she thought she could make it go away on her own another time when I was called out for a stroke clearly the man was having a stroke upon doing a stroke screen it looked like the patient had something large in his mouth thinking maybe this guy had some sort of wor pharyngeal cancer or mass I asked his wife if this was indeed the case and she looked at me with a very puzzled look she said no and then I said what is in his mouth his wife then says it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that she shoved in there when her husband's symptoms started she thought it was just that his blood glucose was low so she tried to force-feed this poor man an entire sandwich before she called 911 four year old patient who was brought in from a jail in a rural County he was working roadside cleanup when he found a bottle in a ditch that he thought contained alcohol and he quickly chugged it down to be fair and did look like whiskey it wasn't it turns out it was a substance that contains sulfuric acid its pH was less than 2.5 it just stayed up the litmus paper so shortly after he gets to the ICU and he is in excruciating pain and vomiting blood the gastroenterologist took him to do an EGD basically a procedure where they can look at the esophagus stomach and duodenum with a camera to a flexible tube and the pictures were horrendous you could literally see his stomach and esophageal mucosa eroding away he had to be sent off to another hospital where they had an esophageal surgeon who could repair the mess he of course needed multiple surgeries and had a very long hospital stay I saw him a few months later when he was admitted for another issue he was down to 90 pounds from about 150 and was getting fed through a PEG tube he was very lucky to be young and otherwise healthy but obviously not very smart any chance you could be pregnant No so no unprotected sex with a man since the last day of he last menstrual period well yeah okay I'm gonna have the nurse come in and give you a pamphlet then I'm gonna come back and ask you again a guy came to the outpatient clinic with swollen left ball he said he was injected with some ketchup put oil by his friend with his consent to enhance his performance in bed I'm a female medical intern and I tried so hard to keep my expression as neutral as possible my mom works in hospital and the text from radiology always have the best stories last week they had a male patient with a huge carrot up his butt he came from a conservative area by bus standing because could not sit it was a three hours bus ride if I ever could change my job I want to be a radiology tech not a doctor but dental nurse my favorite was a 30 something year old woman who came in for a check-up at the emergency low-cost clinic I worked at teeth were broken and almost blackened gums are angry swollen bright red and bleeding by just moving her tongue against them needed multiple scaling and hygienist appointments and a debridement honestly YouTube has some amazingly disgusting videos of this treatment but maybe keep the sound off if you don't like the scraping sound x-ray showed she at all but her wisdom teeth and ten fillings root canals to try and save some teeth and extractions for I think three but more if the RCT didn't work explained everything and did the usual explanation of proper oral hygiene asked her if she had any questions to which she says it's okay if I lose this set of teeth my others will come through me and the dentist just looked at each other probably a lot longer than we should have no words I couldn't think of anything to reply to that comment I had a lot of weird and disgusting things happen at that clinic I actually miss working there a 20 year old girl came in with abdominal pains we did a pregnancy test and she was pregnant she acted surprised because she was on the pill I asked her how long she's been on it and if she had been taking it daily as prescribed as if it were the most logical thing on the planet she said she did not take it daily because she did not have sex daily I looked at her trying hard not to laugh she only took them right after she had sex with her boyfriend select maybe a couple of times a week one of my patients used to hold in her farts to the point of being an antagonizing pain because she thought that there was a certain amount of air inside a person and if you let too much out you'll deflate I have a few examples patient who recently been diagnosed with diabetes we needed to adjust her blood sugar levels but she kept eating sweets so we had to talk for like 30 minutes with her about not eating sweets and so on she seemed to understand five minutes after the conversation she went around drinking a soda another guy who had a benign area the heart beats irregularly he knew that he could get the area from time to time but as long as he didn't faint or got any pain in the chest he could just take a beta-blocker and let it pass but he went to the ER like six to seven times before he understood that we couldn't do anything one patient came in for something can't remember what and when we ran a test we found that he had a pH of six point nine seven that is on the border of what the body can have and still have any function at all read he should be dead but he was awakened clear we wanted to admit him to the ICU and adjust it without most care but he needed to go home to eat a shrimp sandwich yes a shrimp sandwich we sat down and talked to him and his mother for 30 minutes that no shrimp sandwich in the world is worth your life and if there is something else you need to get help with we can help him but no he left he came back a couple of hours later and we cured his acidosis but that must have been a mean shrimp sandwich I was asked by a patient on the respiratory ward if I thought his lung cancer might have had anything to do with his 50 a day smoking habit because he smoked roll-ups and he wasn't sure if they counted I struggled to keep a straight face and said yes and busied myself in his chart me any chance you were pregnant patient no me are you sexually active patient yes me why is there no chance you were pregnant patient because I'm not married me pee in this Cup patient thought taking vitamin b6 double dose was the same as b12 had a patient and his girlfriend complaining of fleas they were covered in red spots that they were picking it constantly they were meth heads that were picking their skin off and imagining bugs were crawling on them they were adamant that they had seen these bugs and pulled them out of these sores discharge instructions stop doing meth an ER nurse told me a horrific story about a stripper who came in presenting symptoms of toxic shock syndrome they found a folded dollar bill inside of her stripping as far as I see it could be an empowering experience for the right women and I get sliding a bill into a g-string that's the whole point of the dance but this poor girl suffered the indignity of having money shoved up inside her and not a 100 dollars not a ten dollars even a single one dollar bill I had a patient on my virgin rotation who was in her 50s and decided that her clitoris was actually a growth and needed to be removed she came in three different times to talk to different residents over a month and would never understand that she's always had it and it's supposed to be there we even printed off a diagram of normal female anatomy to explain then she started saying her urethra was actually the growth and she wanted it removed we explained she wouldn't be able to empty her bladder without it and she then demanded her bladder be taken out to I think she should have been referred to psych woman came in for an upset stomach had been prescribed antibiotics recently for a UTI and decided to take them four times per day instead of two times because she thought it would work quicker someone called 911 ambulance bring her in because her implant birth control was hurting her arm another 911 pynes was a woman who decided to use a dish scrubbing brush as a sex now her vagina hurt I pain after welding without a mask guy had just gotten a kitten and it scratched him showed me two cuts less than one centimeter long and not even broken the skin teenage girl came in by ambulance for flu symptoms stated she tried to go to Urgent Care but it was closed so she had to call 9-1-1 more mothers requesting drug screens and pregnancy tests for their daughters than I can count full-grown adults requesting pregnancy tests because the ones at the store aren't good enough Kent they're exactly the same as ours woman in came and for abdominal pain didn't think she was pregnant but reported not having her period in eight months you could feel the outline of the baby on her stomach deliver two or so weeks later drug seeker came in with a newfound allergy to non narcotic pain medicine stated they made him go anaphylactic had been in the ER five days prior without the allergy drug seeking mother using her eleven-year-old daughter to try to get narcotics upset with us because we didn't give her daughter opioids for a bruised Shin more parents bringing their less than six-month-old babies in for crying or spitting up milk a couple of times than I can count unknown rash on skin for six months had seen his PCP and even a dermatologist without improvement guess he thought our er providers were bigger experts on skin issues than dermatologists people coming in for abscesses on their arms which just happened to be near veins and calling them spider bites people so stoned that you have to shake them to get them to open their eyes getting upset because you're not given them narcotics for their 12 tense pain it just never ends had a patient that got pregnant while on the pill she was devastated and couldn't understand how it happened I asked her how she took it patient I just used one before sex me ma'am you need to take a pill every day for 21 days to for it to work and then you are supposed to take a seven day break while you have your period patient what I am supposed to shove one of these up my vagina every day I'm not a doctor but got told to go introduce myself to a patient get vitals history more info on their chief complaint start an IV and draw blood for labs they came in forearm pain and it looked like they had a nasty bug bite on there so the story was she is a stripper and there at her all prescription wasn't doing the trick so they had an idea how to make it more potent they heard from a friend that if you crush it up suspended in water and inject it it would be more effective except she used tap water to dissolve the adderall before she injected it this ended up causing a huge abscess and infection at the site of injection she ended up losing her arm at the elbow so now she's a one-armed stripper had a married elderly man lodge a marble pestle in his rectum because he was bored his biggest concern was that his wife couldn't find out middle-aged guy lacerated his non-dominant hand with a reciprocating saw his dominant hand was using to cut PVC pipe under a sink diabetic woman said that she is as graham crackers and peanut butter to bring her blood sugar down yes down morbidly obese young woman seeking evaluation for chronic knee pain while eating a meatball sandwich in the exam room not a doc but work at an ER I was putting in charges one night in one of the doctors had forgotten to mark the chart appropriately so I looked at the diagnosis it read imagined object in vagina I went back to joke about this and got the story a woman came in and said she'd accidentally sat on a cactus and had spines in her vagina the doctor with a female nurse in the room had to go looking and never found a single thing including any wounds or signs of rotation when I asked why someone would do that sarcastically the doctor on at the time said well I guess if you've got nothing better to do on a Friday night not a doctor but when I was in college this girl white I was dating called me all freaked out that her skin was turning black this was midday during the week she said she was going to the hospital my house was across the street from the University Hospital so I decided to head over to see what was up she was distraught I went into the examination room with her and she explained her situation to the doctor and showed him her arm the doctor just licked his thumb and rubbed her arm turns out she was wearing a brand-new black sweater and some of the fibers rubbed off on her arms I used to be a pharmacy technician we had a patient who thought he is only supposed to use land as pen insulin once and throw it away when it was time for next injection he used a brand new one he was always complaining that we only give him ten pens and it lasts him five days thousands of dollars wasted by the city and yet insurance agreed to override early feel rejection there was a girl who thought she is supposed to take birth control tablets only on the days she has sex the vaccine will make you [ __ ] crowd in general friend of mine is a gynecologist and she told me that once she had a patient come in and tell her that she could not have sex anymore because her partner's complain that her hoo-ha stinks really badly but she's never noticed so doc asks questions like have you been using any new soaps creams are you allergic to anything and the patient said no doc examines patients vention the smell is unbearable she suspects a major infection then she realizes that she cannot see inside properly and she grabs her tweezers I don't know the proper name and prods she hits something cushiony she starts to pull gently and extracts a tampon a month-old tampon which was black and green and smelt foul patient says oh I thought it has fallen out when I had my last period recently talked to a patient that is getting ready for surgery that involves usage of robotic arms to help remove the tumors allows for smaller incisions and greater precision this patient starts insisting to meet the doctor when it seemed like the consult was wrapped up so we get him back in there thinking maybe she's got another question the patient says I still wanted to meet the doctor and the doctor points at himself and says I'm the doctor patient I know you're a doctor but I wanted to meet the doctor doctor you've already met the resident I'm the doctor doing your procedure patient no not you I wanted to meet the robot that's going to do my surgery I feel like we should at least shake hands first apparently the patient was expecting some metal man to walk through the door the patient also had cancer cure recipes and was insistent we take notes humanity is doomed I hope you did not lose brain cells while listening to this these stories make me wonder house on people get through life nurses doctors and other medical workers you are amongst the heroes of society you're not only saving lives and help people but you have to stay professional when facing ridiculous people you guys deserve medals and bonuses for doing your job I wish society would value your profession more in my ideal world you garbage men and plumbers would be the highest paid people not celebrity buttholes like Justin Bieber anyway thanks for listening to radio TTS hit the subscribe button and activate the notification bell for more videos about the descendants of Einstein many people seem to have trouble understanding birth control pills please everyone explain the pill in the comments below please use simple words

Channel: Radio TTS

Views: 524,867

Rating: 4.9113894 out of 5

Keywords: askreddit, ask reddit, reddit, reddit best, reddit stories, reddit story, reddit top post, reddit stories 2019, reddit comments, askreddit funny, best of reddit, radio tts doctor, reddit doctor stories, askreddit doctor, doctor of reddit, Reddit nurses, stupid patients, stupid patients stories, stupid patients reddit, Doctors stupid patients, Most stupid patients, Stupid patient stories reddit, Askreddit stupid patients, reddit funny

Id: T1g3pujcZdM

Length: 18min 29sec (1109 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 09 2019